beeksweeks: Introduction

[beeksweeks]

Hi I'm new to this site but I have been reading along for a few weeks and I really appreciate you all sharing you experiences. My experience with medication is a little different than many of the ones I've seen on here. I only took one dose of Vraylar, which is an antipsychotic. My primary care doctor prescribed this medication for me to treat my anxiety. I didn't know anything about antipsychotics. I am not bipolar or skitsophrenic, and I have never been on any kind of psych meds before. I was just experiencing some bad anxiety, and she told me the medication would help balance the neurotransmitters in my brain. I took the one dose and it made me feel so unbelievably awful. I felt intensely drugged and I was so fatigued and dizzy I couldn't work. The first day after I took it I experienced intense depersonalization and derealization. I also felt horribly depressed and had panic attacks. I had been experiencing anxiety but I started getting panic attacks every day after taking this medicine. I felt so bad that I didn't want to keep taking it. I hoped I would feel better in a couple of weeks but it took me over six weeks to feel even slightly normal. I'm at 8 weeks now and I mostly feel like myself again. Though I still feel kind of stressed and emotionally fragile. The last 2 months have been hell. I've cycled through different periods of intense anxiety, depression, anhedonia and just feelings of mental anguish. There were times I really felt like I was losing my mind. I've had anxiety off and on over the years but this was all completely unlike anything I have ever experienced before. It honestly has made my anxiety seem like a cake walk. All along the symptoms have steadily been getting less intense. I have definitely experienced the windows and waves phenomenon that you talk about. I'm currently in a window that has lasted for about 4 days and I'm so incredibly thankful. I just wanted to share what I went through. And see what you all think about my experience. Am I imagining all this? Could I really have had such a terrible experience from just one dose? I wasn't able to taper because I only took one dose. But supposedly Vraylar has a very long half life of 1-3 weeks. I appreciate any input from the other members. Thanks for reading 

[beeksweeks]

I have been struggling with anxiety for about a year, and it started to get very bad in late July 2024. I went to my primary care doctor on August 26th and she prescribed 1.5 mg of the antipsychotic, Vraylar which she told me to take daily. I have never taken any psych meds before. I don't understand why she prescribed an antipsychotic for me. I'm not bipolar and I don't have skitsophrenia. I have never experienced mania, psychosis or hallucinations. Vraylar is not an anxiety medication. But she told me that the drug reps had been telling her what an amazing drug it was, and that it was really going to help me. She said it would just balance the neurotransmitters in my brain. She didn't discuss any side effects or potential problems with the medication. She just told me that she was sure it would help me, and she also told me not to Google the medication side effects. (Wtf?) 

 

I was trying to trust her, so I took my first dose. I really regret doing that. The first day after I took that dose I felt like I had been drugged. Like heavily sedated. I was incredibly dizzy and fatigued, and I couldn't work. I had intense depersonalization, derealization, and a horrible feeling of complete apathy bordering on depression. I also still felt very anxious but now instead of just a sense of anxiety and tension I started having the most intense and terrifying panic attacks I have ever experienced in my life. It was so awful. I decided to stop taking it, so I only had that one dose. I thought I would feel better in a couple of weeks, but after 6 weeks I was still feeling so bad. I have had horrible anxiety, anhedonia, intense depression, fatigue and just this feeling of mental anguish. I had none of these feelings before starting this medication. Today is October 22nd and it's been just over 8 weeks since I took the medicine. I have been feeling so much better for the past 4 days, but I'm worried I may still have more sh*tty days ahead. I can't believe how hard and awful this has been. Vraylar has a long half life of 1-3 weeks, but I just can't believe how long I have been feeling so bad from this. Am I just crazy and imagining that the Vraylar did all this to me? I feel like that sense of being drugged and out of it has slowly been decreasing over time. I have also finally been able to feel pleasure again. I'm so thankful. But that has only been in the last 2 weeks or so, and I've still had some really hard days in those two weeks. My normal feelings seem to be coming back and it feels so wonderful. I feel like I have experienced the windows and waves that you all talk about on here. This whole experience has made my original anxiety seem like such a miniscule problem. I guess part of me still finds it hard to believe that just one dose of an antipsychotic could have done all this to me. I haven't known who to talk about this. It's been so unbelievably hard. I didn't want to talk to my doctor about it because I absolutely don't trust her after this, and I was pretty sure she was going to try and get me on some other medication. I have been just trying to hang on while feeling like I was going crazy and feeling so scared. Am I totally imagining all this or is it really possible that the Vraylar affected me like this? 

[Jane318]

Greetings @beeksweeks and welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications and their associated withdrawal syndromes.  You are in the right place.

 

Thank you for completing your signature. 

 

I am so sorry you had this horrible experience.  And you did have it.  It was not your imagination!  These drugs are enormously powerful and their possible side effects are well known but not always (or even usually) disclosed to the patients.  What happened to you might have been a rare event in terms of its extremity, but it happened to you - the "cure" was far worse than the disease.  That your doctor told you not to research side effects is a huge red flag.

 

Thankfully, you are improving already - two weeks is not that long, really, after such an episode.  That is such a good sign!  You are healing and will heal completely.

 

Here at SA, we do not endorse the use of any pharmaceutical as a fix for emotional issues.  We now know that the chemical imbalance theory is a myth.  You can read more here:

 

So we would not encourage you to take any other drugs for your anxiety.  Encourage you to explore the forums listed on our home page, including those with strategies for coping with anxiety and other symptoms.  

 

So do continue to hang on.  Do try to let go of your fear - fear and negative thoughts are roadblocks to full recovery.  You will get through this. 

 

This is your introduction topic.  Each member gets one intro topic- please post periodic updates here, to let us know how you are doing, as well as any other questions you may have.

 

Also do explore the rest of the forum – there is a lot of great information here.  Be sure to read “About SurvivingAntidepressants.org,” which has good information about how to use / search the site:

 

Also, feel free to read and comment on the intro threads of other members.  This is how you build a community of people who understand what you are dealing with.   It is so helpful to connect with others who are experiencing the same things.

 

Best wishes.

 

[beeksweeks]

Thank you so much for writing, @Jane318. I really appreciate you taking the time and I appreciate the information you shared. I don't plan on taking any more psychiatric medications. Especially since reading about how many people have had a terrible time coming off of their medications! I had no idea psych drugs could be so harmful. I really appreciate you and the other members of this website for sharing your experiences. It's helped me a lot when I have been really suffering and has helped me have hope and focus on the positives on the other side of all this. Thank you for your kindness. ❤️

[Jane318]

 

@beeksweeks, I appreciate these sentiments.  We are here to support each other.  And yes, you will heal, be wiser, and able to help others. 

 

Please keep us posted on how you are doing.

 

Thank you for completing your signature.

 

Edited October 26, 2024 by Jane318

[Jane318]

Greetings @beeksweeks - Just checking in to see how you are doing...thinking of you.

[beeksweeks]

Hi @Jane318, thanks for checking in on me. I'm hanging in there. I have had a pretty difficult week. But I'm also still steadily improving. I can't believe I still feel so bad at this point, but I also know I feel a lot better than I did a month ago. Tomorrow it will be 11 weeks since I took the dose of Vraylar that has made me feel so awful and messed up. I have been on my period this week, and that seems to make my withdrawal symptoms really bad. But this period was a lot better than the last one, so I'm thankful for that. How are you doing? 

[Jane318]

7 hours ago, beeksweeks said:

Hi @Jane318, thanks for checking in on me. I'm hanging in there. I have had a pretty difficult week. But I'm also still steadily improving. I can't believe I still feel so bad at this point, but I also know I feel a lot better than I did a month ago. Tomorrow it will be 11 weeks since I took the dose of Vraylar that has made me feel so awful and messed up. I have been on my period this week, and that seems to make my withdrawal symptoms really bad. But this period was a lot better than the last one, so I'm thankful for that. How are you doing? 

@beeksweeks - I am sorry you had a difficult week but are also able to see improvement from a month ago.  Yes, it is hard to believe that one dose of something nearly 3 months ago could still be wreaking havoc with you at this point.  Sadly, it happens.  These are powerful drugs and some people are more sensitive to certain ones for one reason or another.  We want to know WHY???  But we can't always know the reason - only learn, heal, and help others as we are able.  I know that hormonal cycles can worsen symptoms.  

 

Thank you for asking about me.  I had a pretty good week, with a couple good days and a couple not so good days.  Like you, I am not feeling great, but do see improvement over the long term.  

 

Wishing you a better week!

[ShortTermAntipsychotics]

@beeksweeks glad to know that you are healing from 1 dose of Vraylar (Cariprazine). I took Vraylar (Cariprazine) for 3 weeks and i am also healing by the weeks. Your recovery gives hope to me. May i know what withdrawal symptoms do you still have? Anhedonia has subsided when you mentioned "I have also finally been able to feel pleasure again"? Thanks

[beeksweeks]

Hi @ShortTermAntipsychotics, I hope you're doing well. I still have depression and anxiety off and on. It kind of changes as the days go by. But yes, Anhedonia was one of my worst symptoms and that has mostly gone away now. I have been able to feel my feelings to a much greater degree than before. I have had a lot of windows, but recently I have experienced some intense depersonalization and derealization, which has been weird and kind of unpleasant. But that also seems to be improving somewhat. I'm at a point where I'm not sure if what I'm experiencing is still from the Vraylar or if it's just my initial anxiety which is what I was prescribed the medication for in the first place. I have never experienced psychosis, only anxiety and depression. How are things going for you? Have you had a problems with rebound psychosis? I've had pretty awful rebound anxiety. It has definitely been worse than what I experienced before taking the Vraylar. 

[ShortTermAntipsychotics]

@beeksweeks seems like you have largely recovered from Vraylar after about 2.5 months off it. Can i say about 90% recovered? I still have mild anxiety (tolerable) now from Antipsychotics and it is continuing to subside. Are yours subsiding as well? If not it could be your initial anxiety. Could you explain more how you feel about depersonalisation and derealisation? Do you mean you still feel the emotional barrier between you and people? I have improved a lot from the emotional barrier. Yes, i have withdrawal psychosis which lasted a few days. That could be term supersensitivity psychosis while getting off meds. I don’t have depression at all in my context.  

[beeksweeks]

That's good that you don't have depression. I'm glad to hear that. I would say I'm about 90% recovered. My anxiety is still pretty bad, but I think it's just the original anxiety that I started taking medication for. Depersonalization is a feeling that you're not real, or feeling like you're in a dream. Derealization is similar. It's were nothing around you feels real. It's a new symptom for me so I'm not sure how to rate it in terms of percentage recovered. 

[ShortTermAntipsychotics]

@beeksweeks My god, great to hear you are 90% healed after 2.5months off meds. Haha don't get trick by psychiatrists again to take brain meds for anxiety or depression. Treatment are available in psychotherapy or counselling. In short you don't need to take any meds at all. In fact, most diagnosis in psychiatry don't need to take meds except for psychosis (optional), Schizophrenia, bipolar and sleep issues (very very short term) as far as i know.  As for Depersonalization and Derealization, i don't i have it since i did not feel like i am in a dream or that i am not real except when i was in psychosis. Sending you lots of love and hugs. 

[ShortTermAntipsychotics]

@beeksweeks Ya, since you'd said you already "feel mostly like yourself", do depersonalization and derealization still bothers you a lot? Although i took Vraylar for 3 weeks but this is new to me.  

[Jane318]

How are you doing @beeksweeks?  Wish you the best for the holidays!