dae89: 6 years on lexapro, tapered too fast

[dae89]

Not cognitively with it enough to post a long introduction, but as it stands I am 6 weeks off a 5-6 month taper of lexapro which was too quick in hindsight as I went from 5mg to 0 in two weeks at the end of the taper. 

 

After two days off, I reinstated 2mg for 8 weeks and tried some cuts, shortly after that lexapro pooped-out and thew me straight into withdrawal. I wasnt ready to handle it and tried a prozac bridge, went on too high a dose (10mg) and experienced and adverse reaction with unbearable side effects. 

 

Despite the fact some underlying withdrawal symptoms were alleviated the level of akathesia I was experiencing it was not possible to continue. Stopped prozac after two weeks and have been in withdrawal since.

 

I have experienced short periods of windows which is a good sign and I am familiar with this process as I suffered through benzo PAWS since Sept-23 after kindling myself from multiple acute withdrawals over a number of years (benzo abuse).

 

Some days are bad enough I am considering reinstating 2.5mg of citalopram and trying to taper off that, as at least it's very similar to escitalopram. If lexapro didnt poop-out on me I would have continued the liquid taper but it seems like it's too big of risk to taper with something that may stop working at any time.

 

Have a laundry list of symptoms, the worst of which is dysautonomia/POTs which has been there on and off from the benzo withdrawal which has ramped up worse than ever.

 

I guess I'm just grappling with the idea of reinstating vs pushing through day by day. Either way I know I have a long road ahead of me.

[Catwoman73]

Hi @dae89, and welcome to SA!  We are a community of volunteers providing peer support in the tapering of psychiatric medications, and their associated withdrawal syndromes. 

 

Thank you for completing your drug signature.  And I'm so sorry for what you've been going through.  

 

Given the fact that you've reacted badly to reinstatement and trying prozac, I expect the same thing would happen if you tried yet another psych med to alleviate your symptoms. In fact, I suspect your issues with benzos and attempts at reinstatement have likely worsened your condition, leaving you where you are today.  Sadly, the only way out of this is through.  You will heal though- we all do.  It takes some effort and a lot of patience, but you will get there. No one can tell you how long it will take, but given your history, think months to years- though I can assure you, from experience, that it will definitely get better over time if you give your body what it needs. 

 

Are We There Yet? How Long is Withdrawal Going to Take?

 "Is it always going to be like this?"

 

It looks like you have already started to experience some periods where you feel better, and some periods where you feel worse.  This is an absolutely normal part of the healing process, and is actually a good sign that your nervous system is working towards homeostasis.  We refer to this pattern as the windows and waves pattern of stabilization.  Read more here:

 

The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

There are a few things you can do to help your nervous system stabilize.  Most are quite intuitive.  Eat a balanced, whole foods diet, stay adequately hydrated, engage in gentle exercise, and get enough rest/sleep.  Avoid all neurologically active substances, such as caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and recreational drugs- these things are liking pouring gasoline on a fire for your symptoms.  And like I said above- avoid adding any further psych meds.  When the nervous system is destabilized, the effects of psych meds are not predictable.  As you've discovered, they can make you worse rather than better. 

 

We only recommend two supplements here at SA- magnesium and omega-3 fatty acids. Do be mindful though- it is very common for those in withdrawal to become hypersensitive to all sorts of things, including medications, supplements, and even foods!  So if you start any supplement, even those we recommend, start with a low dose to see how you fare.  You can titrate the dosage upwards slowly if you tolerate them. 

 

You would likely benefit from starting a symptom journal at this time.  Track each of your symptoms, rating them on a scale of 1-10 for severity each day.  This will help you identify your windows and waves, and allow you to see how far you've come over time.  In addition, if you choose to track activities, foods and supplements, you may be able to identify things that trigger symptoms for you.  For example, by tracking everything, I discovered that magnesium actually has a paradoxical effect on me, causing brain zaps and insomnia!  Definitely helpful information to know!

 

Emotional and cognitive symptoms can be the most difficult thing to deal with when healing.  It's really important to start developing some non-drug coping mechanisms early in the process.  We have many threads on this topic, and I'll link some below for you.  Personally, I have found it very useful to develop a daily mindfulness practice, to avoid emotional spirals, and focussing too much on the long road ahead.  Guided meditations and yoga Nidra are very helpful for calming the nervous system, and facilitating sleep.  I have had to learn to recognize the thoughts behind negative emotions, and to challenge and transform those negative thoughts.  Lots of deep breathing too!  Staying busy and distracted is also helpful- engage in lots of calming activities.  I really like to cook, write, and engage in all sorts of artistic projects.  

 

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

 Easing your way into meditation for a stressed-out nervous system

Music for self-care: calms hyperalertness, anxiety, aids relaxation and sleep

Ways to cope with daily anxiety

"Change the channel" - dealing with cognitive symptoms

Dealing With Emotional Spirals

The importance of recognizing you're feeling good

 Progress! What withdrawal symptoms have gone away for you?

 

In summary, based on your history, I think you're going to have to just ride this out.  The good news is that you will heal.  We are all healing, all the time, whether we feel like we are or not!  There are a bunch of things you can do to help with the healing process, and to make the journey a little bit more tolerable.  Mostly, just don't give up, and don't lose hope!  You will get there. ❤️‍🩹

 

This is your introduction topic- each member gets one intro topic.  Please post updates or questions here, on this thread.  But do explore the rest of the forum- there's lots of good info here!  And I always recommend that new members start engaging with the community, in order to take advantage of the peer support model here.  Read the intro topics of other members, and drop a comment or word of support.  This can be a lonely journey, and developing a community of people who completely understand what you are going through can really help. ❤️

 

 

[dae89]

Thanks @Catwoman73

 

I have to keep telling myself I'm still in the very early stages, and trying my best to float along with radical acceptance and not give in to my symptoms.

 

I have had some good windows however spiraled recently over my pillow causing issues, this is distressing as lying down on a spare mattress for most of the day was my safe space where I could relax.

 

I suppose withdrawal changes throughout and I need to adapt with it. Most of the time nights are easier to deal with, I'm not sure why that is.

 

I know deep down there are issues I had before going on medication that I need to work on, however it's difficult in the acute stage when you have limited energy physically and mentally.

[dae89]

Now dealing with erythromelalgia which appeared a week after a course of antibiotics. But it's hard to say if that's what caused it as my dysautonomia/POTS symptoms are also getting worse. Digestion has slowed to a crawl.

 

I'm two months into withdrawal and things are getting more difficult to cope with. Whatever was left of the prozac must be out of my system.

 

I'm just trying to survive hour to hour, day to day.

[JLR96]

On 11/12/2024 at 11:34 AM, dae89 said:

Now dealing with erythromelalgia which appeared a week after a course of antibiotics. But it's hard to say if that's what caused it as my dysautonomia/POTS symptoms are also getting worse. Digestion has slowed to a crawl.

 

I'm two months into withdrawal and things are getting more difficult to cope with. Whatever was left of the prozac must be out of my system.

 

I'm just trying to survive hour to hour, day to day.

Aww man, I totally understand how you feel. I remember having some issues similar to erythromelalgia as well, especially when I would have a shower or a bath. A lot of that has lessened down for me so far out in my withdrawal journey but I can relate, especially to the burning red hot feet feeling. 

I had problems early on with digestion and appetite, as well as bloating which has somewhat cleared up a lot 16 months in. I had a lot of issues with GERD related symptoms, bloating, food feeling stuck, acid coming up into my esophagus etc. I got those issues late into still being on my drug and a lot of that has cleared up since being drug free. I still have flare ups, and certain foods, carbonated drinks etc will flare up the acid but it's gotten so much better than where I was on medication and early into withdrawal. 

I have a host of symptoms which mimic dysautonomia as well, like temperature regulation issues, sweating etc. Still troubling even this far out but it's gotten slightly better over time. 

How are you overall though? Like what is your most troubling symptoms and do have more physical symptoms as opposed to psychological ones? And how are you in terms with your benzo related issues? 

Just remember that it DOES get better, considerably better but you are right in knowing you're probably in for the long haul like most of us. It's been 16 months so far since withdrawal from Sertraline and about 7+ months since removing Venlafaxine, and I've had good periods of windows but I feel like I was doing so much better last year as opposed to this year now. It's such a complex and slow brutal slog and I feel you.