courtzkp: My Use of SSRIs/SNRIs

[courtzkp]

Hi everyone, this is my first time using this page. I was put on Lexapro 5mg, Wellbutrin XL 75, Trazadone 50mg, and Zoloft 25mg. I just want you to know that I am not a medical professional, so please don't listen to my advice or the forum on this post. So anyway, here I go. 

My first few symptoms of having anxiety were ruminating thoughts, difficulty sleeping, difficulty having control of my thoughts, and some form of derealization. I was put on Lexapro 5mg first round. I went to my MD and she went through a round of symptoms and diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder. Lexapro was the first medication she prescribed me. After a week of trying Lexapro, I then went to my first psych visit online. (Telehealth visits I know kind of suck.) Then I stayed on Lexapro for a little over 5 months because I wanted to get my life back into check which it did it a little while. But I feel that now I don't need those medications anymore. After taking Lexapro 5mg for a while, I was then prescribed Wellbutrin 75xl, it helped with my mood and motivation but it didn't help with my situation at all and gave me an emotional roller coaster so I stopped taking it. I did however put on Well 100xl and that didn't last but over a day or so because it gave me a really bad anxiety attack.  So Well only lasted for about a couple of months or so before I was put on Trazadone 25, 50mg for sleep issues I was having. After that I was put on Zoloft around July to help me fix the problems I was having, and that only lasted for literally a week or two. I am too afraid now to take any more antidepressants because I feel like they got rid of the sane part of my mind (if anyone can relate). So now I'm just going to raw dog life with my symptoms of anxiety and I hope for the best I return to normal with my feelings and brain. How do I cope with withdrawal symptoms? For instance, I am dealing with intense feelings of brain fog and I am still trying to get back to feeling normal I don't know if I ever will, so I hope some people can relate to my story and could give me some positive input. 

Edited November 10, 2024 by Emonda
Name to title

[FireflyFyte]

Hi courtzkp,

 

Welcome to SA. Please summarize your drug history in your signature by following the instructions at How to Summarize Your Drug History in Your Signature.

 

Are you currently taking any medication?

 

Thanks,

 

Firefly

[courtzkp]

Which months do you think you started feeling normal again? I forgot what normal is like, but what month did it take for you guys to feel normal? I had blood tests done and everything came back normal so I have anxiety and some depression. But I am not going to take any more meds for the long haul. I am in my three-month mark and I still haven't felt normal. What time period do you think it turned the tables for you? 

 

Meds I have taken: Lexapro 5mg (Five Months), Well 75xl (Three Months) , Trazadone 50mg (Two Months), Zoloft 25mg (One Month) over the course of eleven months

[getofflex]

Previous post moved to your intro topic to keep your history all in one place.  Please post questions and discussion about your situation in this one thread, to avoid confusion and duplication of efforts.  Thank you.  

 

We will need to see a detailed and concise drug signature before we can help you further. The last statement you wrote is good, but we also need dates, instead of saying "five months", etc.  Because we need to know how long ago you took them, and as time goes on this changes.  And, please put this info into your signature box, so that it appears with each post.  Tap/click on your name in the upper right, select "account settings", then "signature".  Thank you.  

[courtzkp]

@getofflex Hi I am new to this forum so I don't know how to use it correctly. Sorry if I am using it incorrectly. Also what happens if you forget which dates you taken them? That's why I put five months I wouldn't remember the exact days...

[courtzkp]

   Hi guys! These were my first time using antidepressants. The antidepressants I have used is Lexapro 5mg and Zoloft 25mg. They were both on very low dosages and I also took them for so little time. (Description is in my signature below.) I don't know how to use this forum properly so sorry if I haven't been using it properly. The last antidepressant I have used was Zoloft 25mg. Maybe for two weeks and then tapered off within four. I don't remember the exact dates. I took Lexapro however for only five months. I started on September 16th, 2023. And I was tapered for the last few weeks of February 2024. I also don't think I have very many withdrawal symptoms from these drugs. Though I can still tell my brain hasn't healed from them yet. I can't explain it maybe its withdrawal symptoms also? I would say my emotions are coming back but I guess it would take time for the brain to heal from these types of drugs. Anyway here are some of the withdrawal symptoms I have been having are these normal? 

 

Somatic 

• Lethargy 
• Fatigue 
• Headache 
• Sweating

GI 

• Nausea 
• Diarrhea 
• Some abdominal discomfort 

Sleep 

• Insomnia 
• Nightmares (have been a big one for me) 

However, I can still tell that my brain is trying to regulate itself from its use of antidepressants. So I wouldn't say I am completely healed from SSRIs yet. I would probably notice a difference a year from now. Can anyone say that they have had the same symptoms as me? I feel like the black sheep of having so little symptoms. I was however only on the lowest dosages possible so that could be why. 

I feel abnormal with my symptoms. 

[getofflex]

Thanks for giving us some dates for your drugs in the signature box - this helps.  It only takes 4 weeks for your nervous system to become dependent on these drugs.  This link below will explain it further.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

It's wonderful that you are drug free now!  Your brain is probably still pretty confused by being on 4 different psych drugs in the recent past, and needs plenty of time to stabilize and find homeostasis.  

 

On 11/17/2024 at 9:24 PM, courtzkp said:

I feel like the black sheep of having so little symptoms.

Consider yourself very fortunate!  It will take time before your nervous system is completely back to normal.  Our nervous systems are really complex, so it can take many months, even if you were on them a short time and on low doses.  In the meantime, be very gentle with yourself, avoid unnecessary stress, and do things to soothe and calm your nervous system.  Avoid alcohol completely, and other mind altering substances, which will tend to further destabilize you and worsen your symptoms.  

 

 

[getofflex]

Just a word of warning: going on more psych meds in the future could put you at risk of further destabilization and adverse reactions, so I would be extremely cautious about going on them in the future.  There are lots of effective non drug ways of dealing with anxiety.  

Edited November 20, 2024 by getofflex

[courtzkp]

@getofflex i already know that they can further more cause more health problems also. also, do you think my nervous system would heal fast? because of the little time i was on them? 

thanks for the reply.

[getofflex]

Yes, I do think your nervous system is likely to heal faster since you were only on them a short time.  Patience is still very important, as it will tend to be a very gradual process, with ups and downs. (windows and waves). It's good to learn coping techniques (non drug) for dealing with your WD (withdrawal) symptoms.  

[courtzkp]

@getofflex Hi I just saw your comment! I am already in my fourth mark month after not taking anything and I am feeling a lot like myself today, even more so like my old self! Is this healing? Is my brain healing properly? I hope so 

[courtzkp]

Hi all I hope you are doing well for the holidays (if you celebrate them). I am preparing myself and my body to go through what everyone says is hell for the wd symptoms at the five-month mark. I think I am already seeing some symptoms today. Some include bad diarrhea already, this could be stuff I ate before but it could also be the wd symptoms. I've also been having some bad insomnia lately like not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep.  Are these wd symptoms? I know that the brain recognizes it doesn't have the drug anymore in its symptom and is trying to return to its homeostasis. 

 

Thanks. 

Edited December 1, 2024 by Jane318
I moved your post here, to your Intro topic. This is the place for those "what should I do?" questions. Please bookmark it or follow it so you can find it again.

[Jane318]

Greetings @courtzkp, I hope you had a good Thanksgiving.  Congratulations on the five-month mark!

 

2 hours ago, courtzkp said:

Hi all I hope you are doing well for the holidays (if you celebrate them). I am preparing myself and my body to go through what everyone says is hell for the wd symptoms at the five-month mark. I think I am already seeing some symptoms today. Some include bad diarrhea already, this could be stuff I ate before but it could also be the wd symptoms. I've also been having some bad insomnia lately like not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep.  Are these wd symptoms? I know that the brain recognizes it doesn't have the drug anymore in its symptom and is trying to return to its homeostasis. 

 

Per edit note above, I moved this post here, your Introduction topic, because it was related to your own situation specifically. Please add information and updates about your changing circumstances, and ask questions here, bookmark or follow it so you can find it again.

 

The symptoms you describe are common to withdrawal.  Compare to:  Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF).

 

We've seen that withdrawal symptoms appear or worsen around five or six months after stopping.  You are fortunate in that you have not been on these powerful drugs for very long, compared to many of us.  However, even after just a few weeks, all these drugs cause physiological changes in the brain that must be repaired, you have cycled through a number of different drugs, and you have tapered off several of them more quickly than we recommend.  Your brain / central nervous system is working hard to catch up with all these changes and, as you say, return to its normal homeostasis.  This will take some time, likely several more months.  

 

You might want to revisit the links from GetOffLex:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/31841-courtzkp-my-use-of-ssrissnris/#findComment-712853https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/topic/31841-courtzkp-my-use-of-ssrissnris/#findComment-712853.

 

There are a few things you can do to help your nervous system heal.   Eat a balanced, whole foods diet, stay well hydrated, engage in gentle exercise, and get adequate rest/sleep.  Avoid all neurologically active substances, like caffeine, alcohol, nicotine and recreational drugs- these are like pouring gasoline on a fire for your symptoms.  

 

I encourage you to explore the site - we have a lot of information on withdrawal and coping with symptoms.  You can click through the topics listed on the home, browse the various forums (menu at top) or search the site.  The best way to search this site for specific information is to use your favorite search engine. Type in survivingantidepressants.org then the symptom, treatment, supplement or information you wish to search for.

 

So take care of yourself as best you can and patiently wait.  You will feel better in time.

 

[courtzkp]

@Jane318 Thank you for the reply. Yes I do agree that I have tapered them off rather quickly than I liked. My doctor did not know how to do the taper process slowly. I have probably tapered off all of them within a month. The reason why I was only on them for a certain amount of time is because I was afraid of what these drugs would do to my brain and how it would change it. I am just taking it day by day and using time as the healing factor. Will I ever return to home base where I was before? I am already seeing some changes going into my five-month mark. I wished I'd never taken them to begin with but I needed something that would help me get through a dark period for me. 

[Jane318]

48 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

My doctor did not know how to do the taper process slowly.

Few do.

 

43 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

The reason why I was only on them for a certain amount of time is because I was afraid of what these drugs would do to my brain and how it would change

You were wiser than I was!  

 

43 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

I am just taking it day by day and using time as the healing factor

That is the surest and quickest way to heal.

 

43 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

Will I ever return to home base where I was before?

Almost certainly, although it may take longer than it seems like it should.  We have many success stories on this site, it may encourage you to read some:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

 

44 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

I am already seeing some changes going into my five-month mark.

This is VERY positive!

 

45 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

I wished I'd never taken them to begin with but I needed something that would help me get through a dark period for me. 

I identify.  Now I realize that as in most things in life, shortcuts come at a cost.  We all have to learn to deal with those dark periods.  Drugs can seem to help us through, and they can alleviate the pain for a while.  But the problems remain.  You can only kick the can down the road for so long.  I know you will triumph over this trial and come out stronger as a result.  And be able to help others, too.

[courtzkp]

6 minutes ago, Jane318 said:

Few do.

 

You were wiser than I was!  

 

That is the surest and quickest way to heal.

 

Almost certainly, although it may take longer than it seems like it should.  We have many success stories on this site, it may encourage you to read some:  https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/forum/28-success-stories-recovery-from-psychiatric-drug-withdrawal/

 

This is VERY positive!

 

I identify.  Now I realize that as in most things in life, shortcuts come at a cost.  We all have to learn to deal with those dark periods.  Drugs can seem to help us through, and they can alleviate the pain for a while.  But the problems remain.  You can only kick the can down the road for so long.  I know you will triumph over this trial and come out stronger as a result.  And be able to help others, too.

Thank you so much for the replies, they were helpful. I used to do things in life very well until some stressful things came into my life and it was very hard. I used to always think why would you put yourself in these types of situations where you need these drugs? I knew these were a thing before my time taking them. My only worries and stress would be my family and nothing else. So I would avoid these types of situations in life. Avoiding pain. But I guess some of us have different types of pain and we just got to learn how to cope with it until we get through it. That is why I also keep thinking to myself and my situation, that I would be able to help others when they need it. I had a zest for life and I feel like ssris ruined that for me. I really hope I can recover and go back to my old self in a matter of time 

[courtzkp]

@Jane318 also what does it mean when it says that i have a lot of wd symptoms? i checked off the list and it says i have 25 😬

[Jane318]

1 hour ago, courtzkp said:

what does it mean when it says that i have a lot of wd symptoms? i checked off the list and it says i have 25

There is no significance to the number of symptoms - Just trying to reassure you that what you are experiencing is indeed withdrawal from the drugs, and not the "real you."  Withdrawal is temporary.  You will heal with time and patience.

[courtzkp]

@Jane318 So maybe a year from now? I would feel like myself?

[mstimc]

Hi @courtzkp

Here's my perspective as someone who dealt with withdrawal, and who was diagnosed with GAD. .  The length of your recovery depends on a lot of factors, including your body's ability to heal and how you choose to address and manage the thoughts that caused you to be prescribed the meds in the first place.  This isn't a race, so don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself by setting a timeline.  Healing happens gradually, often imperceptibly.  You don't think you're making progress, but when you look back over several months, you see how much better you're managing your thoughts.  Also, recovery isn't linear--its more like a roller-coaster, with ups and downs, so don't try to compare one day to the next.  

 

Finally, let go of the notion that you will return to "being yourself".  None of us are who we were even yesterday; we are affected and changed by our daily lives.  Who you become is up to you.  After experiencing WD and recovery, I can say I am more empathetic than I was before, and can appreciate the small blessings life offers me.

 

I encourage you to investigate CBT and ERP therapy to help manage your thoughts proactively and without meds.  It was a real blessing to me when I found a psychologist who understood WD and worked with me to manage my anxious and obsessive thinking. Be kind to yourself and recovery will come. 

[courtzkp]

@mstimc Thank you for the reply. I have been feeling like 'myself' more recently, like feeling things and being able to laugh again freely without the feeling of my emotions being suppressed. I finally feel like I will feel my emotions again with time. Thank you for your story, I believe I am on the lines of healing very soon, and I can't wait to see the progress that I will be making in over a year or two. How do you feel now? Do you feel stable? 

[mstimc]

Just now, courtzkp said:

@mstimc Thank you for the reply. I have been feeling like 'myself' more recently, like feeling things and being able to laugh again freely without the feeling of my emotions being suppressed. I finally feel like I will feel my emotions again with time. Thank you for your story, I believe I am on the lines of healing very soon, and I can't wait to see the progress that I will be making in over a year or two. How do you feel now? Do you feel stable? 

Yes, I do feel stable. I still get anxious thoughts but they've lost their power--I don't give them any power over my actions. They're mostly just a nuisance now.  

[courtzkp]

@mstimc Also, I forgot in the other post. Did you get to where you were pre-medication state? Eventually? Sorry if I am asking a lot of questions, I'm new to this whole experience. 

[mstimc]

32 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

@mstimc Also, I forgot in the other post. Did you get to where you were pre-medication state? Eventually? Sorry if I am asking a lot of questions, I'm new to this whole experience. 

No, I did not get to where I was.  I got to where I am and where I should and want to be. I am more resilient and wiser in the ways I handle stressors, and much more focused on the present instead of worrying about the future or beating myself up over the past. 

[courtzkp]

@mstimcI am sorry about that. I hope that you will someday. But it just takes time to heal from these types of medications.

[courtzkp]

@mstimcwhat percent would you say you are at now with your healing?

[mstimc]

16 minutes ago, courtzkp said:

@mstimcwhat percent would you say you are at now with your healing?

I would say I'm 100 percent recovered, but remember, I am not the same person.  Don't hold yourself to some self-imposed idea of "what I used to be" because you won't be that person. 

[Jane318]

8 hours ago, courtzkp said:

@Jane318 So maybe a year from now? I would feel like myself?

I  can't add anything to what @mstimc has written so eloquently.  Everyone is different.  I am sure a year from now you will look back with gratitude for how far you have come.

[courtzkp]

@Jane318thank you so much for the reply

[courtzkp]

@getofflex! hi, i just updated my signature. would it help you understand more of how i was on them for some time? and would i most likely heal faster since i was on them for a short amount of time? sorry if i am asking questions. i was only on them for a short amount of time. but honestly, i'm afraid i don't know if i will ever go back to how i was before. 

[getofflex]

On 11/21/2024 at 4:02 PM, getofflex said:

Yes, I do think your nervous system is likely to heal faster since you were only on them a short time.  Patience is still very important, as it will tend to be a very gradual process, with ups and downs. (windows and waves). It's good to learn coping techniques (non drug) for dealing with your WD (withdrawal) symptoms.  

 

[courtzkp]

@getofflex hi sorry, like i said i updated my signature. so i forget that you replied to that already. i thought you would just reply with a different answer since, i've update my signature with the correct dates i've taken them 

[getofflex]

Can you please add the dosage of Wellbutrin you were on?  Thanks.  Yes, my answer is still the same, even though you updated your drug signature.  

On 12/3/2024 at 4:12 PM, courtzkp said:

i was only on them for a short amount of time. but honestly, i'm afraid i don't know if i will ever go back to how i was before. 

Yes, you should have a full recovery.  It is fortunate that you were only on the psych drugs a short time.  Our withdrawal brains like to trick us into thinking we will never recover from this.  When we feel bad, for some reason it feels like we will always feel this way.  Try to tell yourself that no, you will recover.  Just keep telling yourself that.  Please read this link, it will really help!  

 

Techniques for Managing Withdrawal

 

It will also help a lot if you read the success stories.  Go to the home page, and select "forums", and you will see them listed there.  We have people who were on drugs a much longer time, and yet they recovered.  I was on Paxil, then Lexapro for 15 years before I started tapering, and I'm about 85% recovered.  I'm confident that I will continue to recover.  

[courtzkp]

@getofflex could you send me some symptoms for withdrawals? so i can see what i have?

[courtzkp]

I feel like one of the worst things about taking these types of medications is that, you don't feel like yourself because of the emotional blunting effects. I haven't felt like myself in forever and I'm wondering if I would ever go back to the way I was. I know it's probably not possible because the brain changes all the time, but will you ever be like who you were before meds? 

[courtzkp]

Do you know when you are healed? Or does it just come naturally to you? I'm asking because sometimes whenever we are in a state for so long we don't remember what life was like before or if we are ever going to heal. Do you know when you are? I've seen a difference today, I actually slept for a really long time today more than I should've and I also cried real tears before, so my emotions are just returning after five months of not taking any. Also, how do you know when withdrawal symptoms fully stop and you're just normal? I'm also asking because This is the first time I've ever been in this type of situation before. I also had some dark hopeless thoughts creep in the other day but I just battled them and sort of let them alone. 

Also did it ever effect reasoning for you?