butchnoway: My Mom Did Not Survive Antidepressants

[butchnoway]

Hi everyone,

 

I wish I had known about this forum much earlier, perhaps I wouldn't be making this post but as the title says: I lost my mom. 

 

This has all been recent so my mind is in a million different places but a few things I wanted to highlight and read feedback on if possible. 

 

First - my mom was a 27 year user of Paxil. She rarely if ever drank alcohol and wasn't on drugs, just 10 MG on paxil and was fairly well adjusted in all my years knowing she was on it. 

 

At one point she had trouble sleeping and was showing signs of obsessive behavior, all things that may have been treatable with some therapy but one day she made it clear that she wanted to try to get off paxil. Needless to say I was concerned hearing this and was even more shocked to know she was executing a slow taper at the behest of her GP. 

 

Somewhere around that time she received what I believe was horrible medical advice from some psychiatrist in her area (she lived in Kansas city) who advised her that she could "stop taking it (paxil)" bc her dose was so low and start taking some other antidepressant. 

 

This in my opinion set off a firestorm of life changing side effects. My mother became very agitated, her sleeplessness only got worse and she would often break out in tears from fear. She got so scared at night without my dad home that she would drive to his work place, she would shake with tremors, and had lost substantial weight due to her depressive symptoms 

 

Every other week it seemed she'd come home with a new drug to take to treat her symptoms but she would complain saying it "hurt", or that the benzos she would take didn't do anything but make her feel drowsy but not help her sleep. My father and I tried to get her help by sending her to mental health facilties around the area but she would often refuse to take their drugs due to fear of the adverse side effects, they would then kick her out and we'd often be back at ground zero. 

 

She tried everything: acupuncture, sedatives, natural remedies, prescribed anti depressants, she even went back on 10mg of paxil for a time, nothing worked. At one of the mental facilties she was at they tried to diagnose her as bipolar 1 and gave her anti psychotics, she again refused and was kicked out. 

 

This entire time I thought she was being unreasonable and sabotaging herself, turns out she was potentially correct to refuse all of these higher dose meds. After reading multiple posts here from this great community I'm convinced she was experiencing advanced withdrawal symptoms from discontinuing paxil CT, a med she had been on for decades. 

 

She did not survive this experience unfortunately but I'm eager to learn more about the functions of withdrawal and potentially get answers about what my mom was going through in her final days of suffering

 

Best,

Butch 

[Jane318]

@butchnoway, welcome to SA.

 

With tears in my eyes, I write to say that I am so sorry for the loss of your mother.   I have several family members who have made this decision.  I say that only to let you know I have some idea of what you are experiencing now. Knowing what I know now, I am convinced that prescription (and recreational) drugs played a role.

 

Also, I have taken anti-depressants for longer than your mother did.  After having unsuccessfully tried to get off them before, I was aware of the need to taper slowly this time, but  I didn't realize how slowly you have to go.  I ended up with a bad crash this past summer.  I can tell you that at the worst, I was there, very close to choosing the permanent solution to my pain.  Many members here have experienced the same, and are now.  The mainstream medical community is largely clueless as to how powerful these drugs are and how difficult it is to get off of them. 

 

So yes, it is likely that the sudden discontinuation of Paxil was responsible for your mother's crisis.  Our brains become dependent upon these drugs and sudden discontinuation is, our founder Adele Framer wrote somewhere, like "throwing your brain off a cliff."  This was not a choice your mother would have made had her central nervous system been so traumatized.

 

Here at SA, we recommend a slow, hyperbolic, 10% taper, which you can read about here:  Why taper by 10% of my dosage?  This allows time for the brain to readjust as you slowly reduce the dose.  

 

Here is some other information that may help you in your quest to understand:

 

What is withdrawal syndrome.

Brain Remodelling 

 

For people who are tapering off of Paxil, here is the forum on that drug:  Tips for tapering off Paxil (paroxetine)

 

Here is a Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF).  You may recognize several of these symptoms.

 

You may want to explore https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/forums/forum/16-from-journals-and-scientific-sources/, which contains links to many research papers and related resources.

 

Here is a recent interview with Adele Framer: Why Antidepressant Protracted Withdrawal Is Not Recognized by Psychiatrists 

 

I hope this helps.  This is your introduction topic.  Each member gets one intro topic- please post updates and questions here, in this thread.

 

Again, I am so sorry for your loss.  I hope you are able to find some answers here as part of your healing.  And perhaps because of this horrible loss, you will be help someone else in the future.    Best wishes.

[Yesyes123]

Butch, I'm sorry for your loss. It is likely that the psychiatric drugs were the main cause of the whole problem, and it's sad how misinformed the medical community is. This is what we aim to help fix here on this website. Peace

[FindRest]

Butch, I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through. My youngest brother made the decision to leave this earth two years ago. He was also from KC. The pain from a loss like this is indescribable. My heart goes out to you.
 

I am glad you found this site and hope you find some answers here. I have no doubt that what your mother was going through was a result of being taken off Paxil cold turkey, then the merry-go-round of drugs they may have tried to stabilize her with afterwards. To me, it sounds like she could have been suffering from what is known as “akathisia”, a state that is hard to describe. Sadly, it’s often caused by stopping psychiatric drugs too quickly. I went through some of this and almost took my own life several times. I was on AD’s for over 30 years and my Dr took me off the lowest dose cold turkey as well.

 

Here is a link about akathisia. Also, you can do a search in the group to read more about it. It’s a very hard subject matter to read about, so I recommend you only read a bit at a time. It’s overwhelming.
 

https://akathisiaalliance.org

 

 

I’d also be curious if her Dr’s last name began with a “W”. 
 

Again, I am so sorry. 
 

 

Edited December 14, 2024 by FindRest

[Catina7]

I'm so saddened to hear about what happened to your mom.  It's heartbreaking to know that this same scenario is happening all over the world and doctors don't have a clue.  The creator of this website, Altostrata, has actually started a new non-profit organization called the Psychotropic Deprescribing Council to educate medical professionals about safe deprescribing practices.  https://psychdeprescribing.org/.  Hopefully one day doctors will be properly educated about how to safely get people off the drugs they themselves prescribe so easily.

 

Please accept my heartfelt sympathy in regards to your dear mom.  🌹

[Sebas]

On 12/6/2024 at 11:24 PM, butchnoway said:

At one point she had trouble sleeping and was showing signs of obsessive behavior,

 

Hi butch really sorry for your loss.

 

Looks like before CT your mom had gotten into poop out thats when a drug no longer is beneficial after taking it for an extended period of years (>15y). That's probably why she gotten psychological complaints all of a sudden.

 

Paxil is one hell of a monster to cope with once withdrawal sets in. It takes proper and very careful taper management and even then the endurance and commitment of an olympic champion.

 

All the advice your mom had been getting was really bad and only further upset her cns to a point where it becomes both mentally and physically unbearable for any of us. She's one of many that are getting really really bad advice from so called professionals who completely underestimate withdrawal. The real professionals you will only find in here.

 

Wish you the best.

Bye Sebas

[Prozaster]

Thank you for sharing that story. I'm very sorry for your loss. Unfortunately the medical establishment has completely failed on this particular issue. This peer support forum fills that void and generally offers much better information than professionals can. I hope it can help you find some answers and closure.