Amy98: My Introduction Topic

[Amy98]

On Pristiq since 2015, August 2023 I wanted to “wean” off was told by my GP to just cut my tablets over 3 months, so I did. I was off completely by November 2023, I had severe acute withdrawal symptoms, vomiting, diarrhoea multiple times a day for 3 months, brain zaps, severe panic and anxiety, migraines, tachycardia, palpitations, shaking, fevers, insomnia and probably a lot more. In November start of December I then had this weird “grace period” things got a bit better, then middle of December one day I woke up and got hit with a massive wave of symptoms i hadn’t felt in the previous 3 months, more nausea, vomiting, migraines, shaking, extreme shortness of breath and air hunger which turned out to be my biggest and worst symptom, palpitations and tachycardia got worse, numbness, tingling, burning all over my body, fainting, non epileptic seizures, vertigo, tinnitus, low blood pressure suddenly, “adrenaline surges”, brain fog, chronic pain all over, chest pain, dissociation, derealisation, head pressure, jaw pain, abdominal and back pain, severe weakness, heat and exercise intolerance, bad spasms and cramps all over, shooting pains and there’s so much more. It’s now been a year since the severe post acute withdrawal has started and I see no end in sight, I had to stop working, iv stopped living, I can’t even go to the shops, can barley go outside or move around my house sometimes, I am in rotation of these symptoms constantly with the biggest ones being tachycardia, palpitations and extreme shortness of breath and air hunger which I now believe is my nervous system being severely impacted. I have seen multiple specialists, cardiologist, rheumatologist, neurologist, respiratory specialist, allergist, and spent so much time in the ER and a 10 day stay in hospital there is no structural reasons this is happening to me and I never had any health issues prior to this anyways. I have subsequently been diagnosed with POTS however my whole nervous system just seems so much worse then anyone iv ever met with POTS, I also can’t find anyone who is as severe as me or even with similar symptoms from withdrawal, I’m so lost and confused, and being a year in, I fear I will never get better. I’m only 25, I’m so lost I don’t know where to go or what to do now, any advice. (I now also have extreme fear and health anxiety because my symptoms are so severe, I don’t have “windows” I’m always bad).

Edited December 19, 2024 by Emonda
Name to title

[Erimus]

Hello, and welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. We are a peer support forum to assist in tapering off psychiatric drugs safely, or recovering from psychiatric drug withdrawal. I'm sorry you have suffered so much, your situation is what would be described as a severe withdrawal reaction. This can happen to any of us, and often heeds no warning via the intensity of start-up side effects. You are in the right place now.

 

You are now in the midst of what we refer to as protracted withdrawal syndrome, which is when symptoms persist beyond 6 months. What is withdrawal syndrome? The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Given the severity of your situation, I would have to suggest attempting a miniscule reinstatement of the drug. We don't usually advise this at 13 months off but your circumstances are rather severe. You can read about reinstatement here: About reinstating and stabilizing to reduce withdrawal symptoms . I would advise starting with just 0.5mg of Pristiq, which is difficult due to the composition of desvenlafaxine, as it is only available as XR tablets. You would need to get in touch with a compounding pharmacy, of which there are a plentiful supply in Australia.

 

If you are not able to find a compounding pharmacy to provide 0.5mg tablets of pristiq, the next best best would be using Effexor (venlafaxine) XR capsules. Effexor is a very close sibling of pristiq. Effexor XR capsules come filled with tiny beads which make it easy to take a micro dose. It would be best just to start with 1 bead.

 

If you do not wish to reinstate, which I would completely understand due to the duration of suffering you have already endured, you would expect things to very gradually improve over the coming years. There is no set time on how long withdrawal lasts for each individual.

 

16 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I have seen multiple specialists, cardiologist, rheumatologist, neurologist, respiratory specialist, allergist, and spent so much time in the ER and a 10 day stay in hospital there is no structural reasons this is happening to me and I never had any health issues prior to this anyways.

Sadly this is an invisible illness, and nobody is equipped to manage the fallout from protracted psychiatric drug withdrawal.

 

16 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I also can’t find anyone who is as severe as me or even with similar symptoms from withdrawal

If you dig around on the site you will find people in similar of even worse situations that eventually recovered. I'd advise you to check out the success stories section.

 

16 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I’m so lost and confused, and being a year in, I fear I will never get better.

Everyone goes through this stage. You will get better.

 

16 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I’m only 25, I’m so lost I don’t know where to go or what to do now, any advice. (I now also have extreme fear and health anxiety because my symptoms are so severe, I don’t have “windows” I’m always bad).

The chances of a full recovery are much higher when you have a younger nervous system. You took the drug for 8 years, it will take the brain a little bit of time to undo that. There's plenty of younger people around here as well. In early withdrawal the windows are non-existent, but as time passes you'll notice seconds where things aren't as bad. This will progress to minutes and eventually whole hours where you feel a bit better. The windows improve in quality and duration with time.

[Erimus]

A few further questions.

 

How is your sleep, Amy? Do you wake in the early morning with intense symptoms?

 

Are you managing to eat and drink enough? Do you drink any caffeine or alcohol? Do you take any supplements or other medication?

 

Are your blood results all within margin?

 

We'll help you through this.

 

Regards

Erimus

Edited December 19, 2024 by Erimus

[Amy98]

@Erimus

Thank you so much for a reply. 

Firstly I will say 3 weeks ago I actually tried 2.5mg Pristiq for 6 days from a compounding pharmacy, I was actually in a bit of a flare at the time and was really sick not sure if it was the Pristiq or flare up. I did stop it because I started freaking out and my worst symptoms like not being able to breathe came back. I don’t know if this is an option for me because my body has changed so drastically in terms of ANS/CNS and I also have POTS, my nervous system issues/adrenaline issues are so bad it’s actually insane, and iv heard SNRI can effect me now. 
 

There are some symptoms I have like breathing, adrenaline dumps and some diagnosis iv got that I can’t find that anyone else has like POTS, I feel like 1 in a million sometimes. It really does feel like I won’t get better sometimes, or most of the time actually. I’m basically housebound, and it being over a year already, and not getting better is scary. Iv seen some studies of the average being 3 years but I don’t see that for me, when do the windows start? 

I sleep much better now, I didn’t at the start, I do wake up every morning with intense symptoms and immediately hate my life when I wake up it’s awful, I always wonder how I wake up because my symptoms are so bad. Iv lost 45kgs since August 2023 and have only recently started eating and drinking water more and maintaining weight, I don’t drink any alcohol, soft drink of caffeine, I don’t take any other medications or supplements even though iv been prescribed a lot. All my blood tests are 100% normal apart from a higher ANA but apparently no autoimmune disease detected, all my brain scans and heart scans and spine scans ect are all normal. The only actual issues is the palpitations and SVT but not life threatening. 

 

[Erimus]

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

Firstly I will say 3 weeks ago I actually tried 2.5mg Pristiq for 6 days from a compounding pharmacy, I was actually in a bit of a flare at the time and was really sick not sure if it was the Pristiq or flare up. I did stop it because I started freaking out and my worst symptoms like not being able to breathe came back. I don’t know if this is an option for me because my body has changed so drastically in terms of ANS/CNS and I also have POTS, my nervous system issues/adrenaline issues are so bad it’s actually insane, and iv heard SNRI can effect me now.

Okay. Would you mind adding that to your signature so people can see for future reference. Click this link to edit your signature: Edit your signature here.

 

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

There are some symptoms I have like breathing

That'll be air hunger, I've had that really severely for around a year before. It eased off a bit eventually.

 

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

when do the windows start?

It differs for everyone, and at the start it all feels like one big wave. It can take a long time to experience windows, but you'll still notice gradual healing every 6 months or so.

 

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I can’t find that anyone else has like POTS

Is it POTS or orthostatic hypertension? When you stand up does your heart rate increase massively and you have to sit or lie down, or is it just a feeling of dizziness? Are you able to be upright for extended periods?

 

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

I sleep much better now, I didn’t at the start, I do wake up every morning with intense symptoms and immediately hate my life when I wake up it’s awful

This is good. So long as you are sleeping you are healing. Some people find using high doses of vitamin C helps with the early morning symptoms. These symptoms are due to the bodies stress hormone, cortisol, being highest around 4-5am. A frazzled nervous system is triggered by this natural increase in cortisol.

 

13 hours ago, Amy98 said:

have only recently started eating and drinking water more and maintaining weight, I don’t drink any alcohol, soft drink of caffeine, I don’t take any other medications

This is all positive.

 

You might try introducing small amounts of magnesium throughout the day. You can add the capsules to a glass of water and sip it periodically.

 

Are you able to sit in the sun for 20 minutes or so each day? I know it's summer in Australia and the heat can be intense, but early morning sunlight will benefit your nervous system.

[JLR96]

Hello, @Amy98 and I'm terribly sorry to hear about your situation. I know it sounds morbid, but please take it with some comfort that you aren't alone - but welcome to the protracted club. Your case isn't uncommon by any means and every single one of your symptoms I've had, or currently still have myself. Nothing is out of the normal from what I've read, it just sucks terribly that we're stuck like this for a good chunk of time. Being "in rotation" with your symptoms is a good sign, especially if they're constantly changing, moving in an irregular pattern, this means your nervous system and your brain are trying to figure out a baseline, they're trying to heal. There is probably not a single withdrawal sufferer who HASN'T mentioned symptoms being in rotation or not changing for time to time, because it's totally normal in our situation. I myself have probably about 50+ symptoms on a weekly/monthly basis but mine change practically hourly, they wax and wane in severity and sometimes it's surreal to even think this is just from getting off a psychiatric drug. 

I noticed you mentioned burning all over your body, this is one of my biggest withdrawal symptoms which still plague me even 14 months out, although I've had brief stints the past couple of months with some decent windows with nerve pain as a whole, but I've been stuck in a pretty bad wave again for the past 2 weeks or so. Regarding your burning sensations, do they feel like a really bad sunburn all over your body? Like if you were to lightly scratch your skin, does it feel like you've scratched over sunburnt skin? That's how it feels for me at least... It mainly affects my lower legs, over my knees and forearms, shoulders and back of my neck and face. Does your body parts affected sweat as well whenever they're burning? 

Most of my psychological symptoms let up after about 5 months or so, and I had a good stint without much anxiety, mostly depression. In acute withdrawal, I was practically completely psychotic, and barely knew where I was, who my partner or kids were. I still go through waves and windows of psychological symptoms much like my physical but it's mainly the physical symptoms which I'm having the most trouble with white knuckling 14 months on. 

Have you had any windows yet? Sometimes windows can be soooo brief you barely noticed one, but the longer time goes on, in theory they're supposed to get longer and longer and the waves get less and less. Although in my case and many I've followed, sometimes you can be hit with resurgence of symptoms, bad waves even years out. Right now, I feel like I've taken 7 months of progress and thrown it down the drain with how bad this wave currently is, but my waves are NEVER as bad as what acute withdrawal was like. 

[Amy98]

@Erimus iv updated my signature thank you. 
 

Yes air hunger, it was extreme at first, and it has eased off now however it is a massive fear of mine not being able to “breath properly” which is do occasionally still get, sometimes daily. 
 

Since August I will say iv improved slightly yes however it’s still not great and don’t feel like I can “live” or work or be normal yet. Symptoms also change so quickly. 
 

I 100% have pots, I got a tilt table test and it’s just my heart rate that absolutely sky rockets. My blood pressure goes up when I stand most of the time. I also have some pots symptoms however it’s kind of hard to know what’s withdrawal and what’s pots now, I know even once I heal from withdrawal Il still have pots, it’s common in women my age (25). When there’s trauma ect. 
 

I’m going to start looking into supplements I can take now because I think my body is ready to try that. And also I will try sitting in the sun now’s it’s summer, however I do have bad heat intolerance. 
 

Also I want to add to all of this because I can’t find anyone else talking about it, but iv had 3 major colds/flus and Covid since this started in August, and each time iv gotten sick, I’m EXTREMELY sick as well as having the weirdest lingering symptoms for about 3 weeks afterwards and everytime it feels the same, it’s like weakness, headaches, dizzy, tachycardia it’s like my body doesn’t recover from illness the same anymore and each time I have been able to leave the house for 2 - 3 weeks that’s another major issue. 
 

 

[Amy98]

@JLR96 Thank you for commenting and giving me reassurance I’m not alone, it feels like I am the only one going through this sometimes and ”no one’s as bad as me”. It’s nice to hear someone has experienced the massive change in symptoms and the rotation also. 
 

The burning all over feels like it comes from the inside, out and to touch my skin will sometimes be cold it’s really bizarre. I have weird heat/sweating intolerance now too. 
 

I think in terms oh phycological symptoms, I’m only impacted I feel because of my symptoms, I have severe health anxiety, and

panic over my symptoms but If I was well I’d certainly be fine. 

 

Honestly iv had such brief windows that if I blinked I’d miss them but I have felt glimpses of hope for sure, it’s been coming in waves of maybe 30 minutes maybe an hour or couple hours at most, overall it’s slowly gotten better over time except for when I’m in a “flare” as I call them and it feels like you loose everything again. Also when I get sick cold/flu/covid/stomach bug which iv had 3 or 4 times while in withdrawal it’s SO BAD, I get really sick and then flare for 3 or more weeks afterwards with the weirdest most severe symptoms it’s weird. So have you recently tapered off of something else again and back in the same spot of protracted withdrawal or?

[thenextguy]

Hi @Amy98 I'm so sorry you're going through this. SNRIs are notoriously difficult to get off and can cause severe problems in protracted withdrawal. I know it's hard to see, but it does sound like there has been some progress. I'm sure it's hard to appreciate that given how much suffering you're in right now, but it is a good sign.

[JLR96]

2 hours ago, Amy98 said:

@JLR96 Thank you for commenting and giving me reassurance I’m not alone, it feels like I am the only one going through this sometimes and ”no one’s as bad as me”. It’s nice to hear someone has experienced the massive change in symptoms and the rotation also. 
 

The burning all over feels like it comes from the inside, out and to touch my skin will sometimes be cold it’s really bizarre. I have weird heat/sweating intolerance now too. 
 

I think in terms oh phycological symptoms, I’m only impacted I feel because of my symptoms, I have severe health anxiety, and

panic over my symptoms but If I was well I’d certainly be fine. 

 

Honestly iv had such brief windows that if I blinked I’d miss them but I have felt glimpses of hope for sure, it’s been coming in waves of maybe 30 minutes maybe an hour or couple hours at most, overall it’s slowly gotten better over time except for when I’m in a “flare” as I call them and it feels like you loose everything again. Also when I get sick cold/flu/covid/stomach bug which iv had 3 or 4 times while in withdrawal it’s SO BAD, I get really sick and then flare for 3 or more weeks afterwards with the weirdest most severe symptoms it’s weird. So have you recently tapered off of something else again and back in the same spot of protracted withdrawal or?

Yeah it’s pretty much common for people to feel like they’re making progress and then take 5 steps back. It’s part of the healing process unfortunately, because it’s so complex and not linear, and unique to each and every person. 
 

I’ve been off all medication for over 6 months, but I’ve been in withdrawal from Sertraline for 14 months. And I was feeling pretty much 75% better by month 14, but started taking antibiotics for shingles which is what put me in a setback, but I’ll get there again. 

[Erimus]

11 hours ago, Amy98 said:

Yes air hunger, it was extreme at first, and it has eased off now however it is a massive fear of mine not being able to “breath properly” which is do occasionally still get, sometimes daily. 

You'll never stop breathing despite what it may feel like.

 

11 hours ago, Amy98 said:

Since August I will say iv improved slightly yes however it’s still not great and don’t feel like I can “live” or work or be normal yet. Symptoms also change so quickly.

Things will improve with time, and the symptom cycling will slow down. Early withdrawal is littered with rapid cycling of symptoms as the brain is in chaos.

 

11 hours ago, Amy98 said:

And also I will try sitting in the sun now’s it’s summer, however I do have bad heat intolerance.

Just try 10-20 minutes in the morning before the sun gets too strong. It helps with the circadian rhythm.

 

11 hours ago, Amy98 said:

but iv had 3 major colds/flus and Covid since this started in August, and each time iv gotten sick, I’m EXTREMELY sick as well as having the weirdest lingering symptoms for about 3 weeks afterwards and everytime it feels the same, it’s like weakness, headaches, dizzy, tachycardia it’s like my body doesn’t recover from illness the same anymore and each time I have been able to leave the house for 2 - 3 weeks that’s another major issue. 

They could be viruses, or they could be nervous system crashes. Periodically your system will crash during protracted withdrawal recovery, once it has gone as far as it can with its current trajectory of healing.

Edited December 22, 2024 by Erimus

[Amy98]

@Erimus iv been thinking the last couple of days of trying to reinstate the 2.5mg pristiq again to see if I can relieve any of my symptoms, however iv been off for over 12 months now so their any point? I feel like because I ct I’m screwed either way and know I probably would be for a long time, I suppose iv seen maybe 1% improvement per month since coming off, but I don’t have much hope for the future, would it be a stupid idea to reinstate now or should I just wait it out at this point? All my symptoms are quite severe but that’s because I ct after being on so long on a high dose? Any advice I’m struggling so bad everyday and am scared for my future at this point, will I eventually recover? 

[Erimus]

Your body has changed a lot since stopping the medication. Eventually you reach the point of no return where reinstatement will no longer work.

 

At this point we cannot say whether it will be beneficial or not, all you can do is try. If you do I would go even lower than 2.5mg, just 1mg or so. I would also start taking a diary of daily notes starting before the attempted reinstatement, and continuing throughout it. That will help us and you monitor the success of it. See:

On 2/17/2012 at 3:02 AM, Karma said:

We may ask you to keep a daily symptom diary in this simple list format. Here's how to respond to our request for 24 hours of daily symptom notes:

 

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am stomach is upset

10:30 am ate breakfast

11:35 am got a headache, lasted one hour

12:35 ate lunch

4 pm feel a bit better

5 pm took 2.5 mg lexapro

6 pm ate dinner

9:20 pm headache 

10:00 pm took 50 mg Seroquel

10:30 pm feeling dizzy

10:30 pm fell asleep 

2:30 am woke, took 3 mg Ambien

2:45 am fell asleep

4:30 am woke, but got back to sleep 

6 AM woke with anxiety

8 am took 2.5 mg lexapro

10 am feel nauseous

 

This does not rate intensity of symptoms but WHEN symptoms occur relative to your drug doses. This is important to understanding the effects of your drugs. Drug adverse effects tend to be most prominent shortly after taking the drug.

 

If you wish, you could indicate intensity of symptoms following the Glenmullen checklist along with the other events in this format, but we still need to know the timing of your symptoms and drug doses.

 

 

If you are sleeping and eating well I would err on the side of continuing as you are, but ultimately it is up to you.

 

 

[Erimus]

1 hour ago, Amy98 said:

I feel like because I ct I’m screwed either way and know I probably would be for a long time, I suppose iv seen maybe 1% improvement per month since coming off

Please don't punish yourself for your taper. 3 months tapering is not considered cold turkey by any means. The people you read about on this forum occupy the worst case scenarios of antidepressant withdrawal and tapering, for most people what you did wouldn't have resulted in this.

 

1% improvement per month is around 14% altogether. At the start progress feels pointless because you're still severely ill. As you continue through the journey recovery will speed up.

[Catina7]

Hi @Amy98, my heart goes out to you and your suffering.  I haven't experienced protracted withdrawal, but I did suffer horribly when I missed a dose of Effexor back in 2019 and it really rocked my world for awhile.  I have also experienced severe effects from tapering down too quickly.  

 

What you need right now is summed up in one word - HOPE.  You must find it and cling to it until you recover.  Please know that you will heal and get better, although it might take longer than what you'd like.  I'm not sure if you follow any taper & withdrawal coaches online, but I love Angie Peacock, Baylissa Frederick, Dan Landaeur, and Dr. Josef Witt-Doerring.  They're all on Facebook and YouTube.  With the exception of Dr. Witt-Doerring, they've all been through protracted withdrawal and are now healed.  You're not alone.  Angie Peacock and Baylissa Frederick host support groups that many have found helpful.

 

I know it's hard, but try to not let fear take over or convince yourself that you'll never get better or your life is over.  Focus your energy on healing and doing what you can to make it through each day.  Write down a list of coping skills you can use and positive affirmations that you can read to yourself.  As Baylissa Frederick says "if you're breathing, you're healing."  

 

Please hang in there.  We're all here to support you through this difficult time.  You're going to make it through this and have a wonderful life again!  

 

Hugs,

Catina ❤️

[Happy2Heal]

On 12/21/2024 at 8:08 PM, Amy98 said:

Also I want to add to all of this because I can’t find anyone else talking about it, but iv had 3 major colds/flus and Covid since this started in August, and each time iv gotten sick, I’m EXTREMELY sick as well as having the weirdest lingering symptoms for about 3 weeks afterwards and everytime it feels the same, it’s like weakness, headaches, dizzy, tachycardia it’s like my body doesn’t recover from illness the same anymore and each time

 

hi when was the last time you had Covid?
sounds like you may have long covid- and there are some treatments for that. 

You might want to look into that?
People who are not going thru withdrawal/recovery get long covid, it may be or seem worse because of all the other stuff you're going thru but there's really no way to know for sure, if you wouldn't have gotten long covid if you weren't going thru WD/recovery. 
I have had covid 2 times and had some very bizarre symptoms afterwards, for about 2 mos or so each time. Wildly fluctuating blood pressure that sent me to the ER. Loss of sense of smell and taste (pretty common for covid) and this overwhelming exhaustion.

I last had covid in late Aug and I didn't feel "normal" again til almost Oct
I am fully off all psych meds for 7 yrs now so I know for me it's got nothing to do with WD at all. I'm also over 65 and older bodies don't bounce back as well or quickly as younger ones in general.

 

so some of what you are going thru may be attributed to the times you had covid.

 

as far as recovery goes, it's so hard when you've been at this for months but things are getting better and are going to continue to do so.

You are going to recover and have a wonderful life!

 

it's hard to imagine it now, but in a few years you may have a hard time remembering all this.
When I was going thru it, I thought I'd never forget but guess what?
I do have some memories but they are of the fun things that I did, the times I was able to go out and be with friends or take a little trip or just grow a tomato plant. I know that I was miserable during that time but I don't remember that misery at all!

That is amazing to me! 
I'm glad I kept doing as much as I was able to do, and took some photos as well, because it reminds me that even though it felt like my life had stopped, in reality it did not

I continued on and managed to make some good memories as well.

 

You will get to this point too!

 

check out my history, I was on tons of drugs for more than 4 decades of my life, in and out of mental institutions.

Recovery is the norm, even for people who might have been considered a lost cause like me LOL

 

are there things you can do to distract yourself when you are feeling poorly?

 

even if it's just listening to an audio book or podcast or watching tv? look for uplifting stuff or funny stuff or if you're a nerd like me, some deeply scientific stuff or whatever might hold your interest

 

it helps a lot to do things like this

 

when you start to feel scared again, come back here and ask for reassurance and we will help remind you that this is all only temporary

 

you're healing every day and you will be better before you know it

 

often times after the first year or so, people turn a corner and healing comes in leaps and bounds

so keep an eye out for that!

watch for the good changes and hold on to those

 

look for something good in every day even if it's just that things did not get worse, celebrate that

 

soon you will see all sorts of good things happening!! 

 

 

I 

[George969]

I used to be there. It does get better but really slowly, pass the time and maintain a positive mindset. Not much else you can do if not accepting it and spending your days in the best possible way depending on what you can do. 

[Catina7]

How are you doing @Amy98?  

[Happy2Heal]

a little bit more about covid, from John Hopkins Medicne:

 

"Some researchers believe that the coronavirus that causes COVID-19 can be a trigger for POTS, as an increased number of people who recovered from COVID are experiencing POTS-like symptoms, such as brain fog, tachycardia (increased heart rate) and severe chronic fatigue. "

[Amy98]

On 1/11/2025 at 10:18 PM, Catina7 said:

Hi @Amy98, my heart goes out to you and your suffering.  I haven't experienced protracted withdrawal, but I did suffer horribly when I missed a dose of Effexor back in 2019 and it really rocked my world for awhile.  I have also experienced severe effects from tapering down too quickly.  

 

What you need right now is summed up in one word - HOPE.  You must find it and cling to it until you recover.  Please know that you will heal and get better, although it might take longer than what you'd like.  I'm not sure if you follow any taper & withdrawal coaches online, but I love Angie Peacock, Baylissa Frederick, Dan Landaeur, and Dr. Josef Witt-Doerring.  They're all on Facebook and YouTube.  With the exception of Dr. Witt-Doerring, they've all been through protracted withdrawal and are now healed.  You're not alone.  Angie Peacock and Baylissa Frederick host support groups that many have found helpful.

 

I know it's hard, but try to not let fear take over or convince yourself that you'll never get better or your life is over.  Focus your energy on healing and doing what you can to make it through each day.  Write down a list of coping skills you can use and positive affirmations that you can read to yourself.  As Baylissa Frederick says "if you're breathing, you're healing."  

 

Please hang in there.  We're all here to support you through this difficult time.  You're going to make it through this and have a wonderful life again!  

 

Hugs,

Catina ❤️

@Catina7 thank you for your response, it always helps to hear positivity from other people. As for how I’m feeling, I really feel awful everyday, it’s a roller coaster everyday is new symptoms or worsening symptoms or change in symptoms … everyday I still believe I had some awful deadly disease or health issue/I often self diagnose based on symptoms that’s day it’s exhausted, I have severe OCD … diagnosed and it controls a lot of my thoughts surrounding this, I truly believe this is going to kill me and I must prepare for death, I do find small moments of positivity but they only last an hour max .. I know a lot of people say this but I still can’t find anyone as bad as me or with my symptoms …. I also have an official POTS diagnosis and some heart arrhythmia issues that started only after the withdrawal that complicate things. It’s really hard. Il be completely off pristiq 14 months soon and I’m extremely concerned I’m not going to keep getting better. I know people say healing is happening, and if your breathing your healing ect but I just can’t come to believe that 100% yet. It’s hard I really do want to keep living my whole life has stopped. Maybe one day …

[Amy98]

On 1/12/2025 at 2:06 AM, Happy2Heal said:

 

hi when was the last time you had Covid?
sounds like you may have long covid- and there are some treatments for that. 

You might want to look into that?
People who are not going thru withdrawal/recovery get long covid, it may be or seem worse because of all the other stuff you're going thru but there's really no way to know for sure, if you wouldn't have gotten long covid if you weren't going thru WD/recovery. 
I have had covid 2 times and had some very bizarre symptoms afterwards, for about 2 mos or so each time. Wildly fluctuating blood pressure that sent me to the ER. Loss of sense of smell and taste (pretty common for covid) and this overwhelming exhaustion.

I last had covid in late Aug and I didn't feel "normal" again til almost Oct
I am fully off all psych meds for 7 yrs now so I know for me it's got nothing to do with WD at all. I'm also over 65 and older bodies don't bounce back as well or quickly as younger ones in general.

 

so some of what you are going thru may be attributed to the times you had covid.

 

as far as recovery goes, it's so hard when you've been at this for months but things are getting better and are going to continue to do so.

You are going to recover and have a wonderful life!

 

it's hard to imagine it now, but in a few years you may have a hard time remembering all this.
When I was going thru it, I thought I'd never forget but guess what?
I do have some memories but they are of the fun things that I did, the times I was able to go out and be with friends or take a little trip or just grow a tomato plant. I know that I was miserable during that time but I don't remember that misery at all!

That is amazing to me! 
I'm glad I kept doing as much as I was able to do, and took some photos as well, because it reminds me that even though it felt like my life had stopped, in reality it did not

I continued on and managed to make some good memories as well.

 

You will get to this point too!

 

check out my history, I was on tons of drugs for more than 4 decades of my life, in and out of mental institutions.

Recovery is the norm, even for people who might have been considered a lost cause like me LOL

 

are there things you can do to distract yourself when you are feeling poorly?

 

even if it's just listening to an audio book or podcast or watching tv? look for uplifting stuff or funny stuff or if you're a nerd like me, some deeply scientific stuff or whatever might hold your interest

 

it helps a lot to do things like this

 

when you start to feel scared again, come back here and ask for reassurance and we will help remind you that this is all only temporary

 

you're healing every day and you will be better before you know it

 

often times after the first year or so, people turn a corner and healing comes in leaps and bounds

so keep an eye out for that!

watch for the good changes and hold on to those

 

look for something good in every day even if it's just that things did not get worse, celebrate that

 

soon you will see all sorts of good things happening!! 

 

 

I 

@Happy2Heal thank you for your response, how long do you think once stopping meds that you started to feel “normal”? Do you ever feel really sick or have many severe symptoms? I’m almost 14 months completely off drugs and I’m concerned I’m not moving at the right speed of healing … and mine may not ever recover. Surprisingly iv never had COVID up until 3 weeks ago and I was moderately unwell for 2 weeks however no symptoms changed drastically or got worse specifically after that, my POTS actually started during my “tapering process” which wasn’t actually tapering at all I was just cutting my tablets … so basically lines up with withdrawal which makes sense because i was on an SNRI and norepinephrine has some control over cardiac function…. I also got arrhythmia/palpitations at the same time. I listen to podcasts and YouTube videos everyday most of the day specifically about protracted withdrawal and antidepressants I’m constantly researching and learning about all of this stuff and the brain and meds and much more into health stuff and the body. I think I understand too much now haha. But I also have severe OCD…. Diagnosed it controls my mind constantly. I truely believe this will kill me, I’m not at the point even 14 months in where I can accept this will just get better one day, I believe somehow Il be the one person that never recovers, I also have the POTS thing which complicates everything because that apparently never just “goes away” so even if I do heal I have POTS to deal with. I think my case it’s truely tough and different and I haven’t found anyone like me at all. However I do pray for the day where I can live normally again, go back to work, have kids, get married ect, I haven’t lived yet. 

[Amy98]

10 hours ago, George969 said:

I used to be there. It does get better but really slowly, pass the time and maintain a positive mindset. Not much else you can do if not accepting it and spending your days in the best possible way depending on what you can do. 

@George969How long did it take for you to start feeling better or normal? Looks like you also did a Farley quick taper did you ever end up with any crippling symptoms that impacted your life? I fear I will never get better at this point, It doesn’t feel like it’s getting better and I’m 14 months off all meds. 

[Erimus]

18 minutes ago, Amy98 said:

But I also have severe OCD…. Diagnosed it controls my mind constantly.

I developed severe OCD in withdrawal 3 years ago. I'd never had it prior, it was unlike any type of anxiety I'd ever experienced. It is due to the violently fluctuating serotonin levels in your brain.

 

20 minutes ago, Amy98 said:

I also have the POTS thing which complicates everything because that apparently never just “goes away” so even if I do heal I have POTS to deal with.

Anything that arises as a result of withdrawal is equally as likely to heal with time.

[Happy2Heal]

35 minutes ago, Amy98 said:

how long do you think once stopping meds that you started to feel “normal”?

I hesitate to answer this honestly because of your fragile state right now, but instead I will say, that things improved all the time. I don't know what you mean by "normal".

I only took notice of when the distressing symptoms diminished and eventually left completely.

it does take more time than any of us would like, that is for sure.

14 mos is not very long, I'm afraid.  BUT you will NOT be at the same level that you are now. I'd bet anything that things have both changed and that some things have improved for you already but you may not be able to see the improvements yet

I was so overwhelmed with symptoms that for some of them, I didn't even know they WERE THERE til they were GONE! then I was like, oh, something is different, something is better, what happened? it was awesome to find these changes.

it confirmed what I'd been told, that the brain and the body are ALWAYS working towards healing.

 

we just need to give it the time and the best conditions to do so.

that means rest when you can, distract yourself when you need to, don't focus on your symptoms and get caught up in needless worries about them, use the tools in the self help sections on the forum, take good care of your health in general, seek support from loved ones and find ways to pass the time. 

 

 

Healing is not usually linear EXCEPT that for the most part, you can expect to feel better as time goes on.

At first the things that are improving are very hard to notice, because you feel so awful in spite of some symptoms going away.

 

It helps a LOT to try to be a detective and find those things that ARE improving, because it will make this journey so much more manageable and research shows that it helps to attract (not sure that's the exact right term) more and more good things, more progress.

 

it is extremely difficult to have anything close to positive mindset while going thru this- but that doesn't mean it's impossible

 

it is worth putting in the effort to try to look for good things, however.

There are several books on this very subject, I will try to dig up the titles if you are interested

They were absolute game changers for me

 

it may feel like you won't survive but you can and you will. Almost all of us were where you are now. I know, incredible the amount of suffering, right?   but you need to keep this in mind- it's a tough journey but you only have to get thru it LITERALLY one moment at a time.

The present time is all any of us really has

Just this moment, right now

 

focus on that

don't look back, you can't change anything

don't look too far ahead, the future is unknown and unknowable, 

just stay in the present

 

you have gotten thru thousands if not millions of those moments already (math is not my best subject but perhaps it's more like billions or even trillions lol)

 

you did it

we did it

it IS hard

we all feel so bad for each other because of how hard it is

but we got thru it one moment at a time

and you will too

 

you may find you have strength you never imagined you were capable of having

you may learn things that will help you thru out your entire life

 

it's not going to help you to look for others who were "as bad" as you are, trust me, the vast majority of us have the same or more or even worse symptoms! they will differ slightly as we are all different people

 

it is amazing what the human spirit can endure

 

it worries me that you think you can't survive this- are you thinking of harming yourself?  

 

it worries me that you seem to think you are unique and a worst case, I can assure you after all the years I've been on this forum I've read hundreds of stories and yours is par for the course, run of the mill WD symptoms. 

 

that you believe you can't heal can become a self fulfilling prophecy as you may refuse to see where things have gotten better in order to hang on to your special case ideas. 
I too thought I was a special case, but in the opposite direction 😆

I was sure I would heal faster than anyone else

 

this was not totally a bad thing (except when I ignored advice thinking my brain was stronger than most and could withstand doing stupid things like adding ill advised supplements or going up and down in doses, stupid stuff like that)

but overall, having a positive outlook was a good thing, as it made every day that much more pleasant

 

you can be a detective and look each day for something good, or you can be a detective and look for all the ways that you are 'the worst case and no one else has had it as bad'  but what do you get out of that? 

how does that help you?

 

 

you have everyone's sympathy believe me

we feel bad because we've been there and we KNOW what this is like

 

we also know that you can get thru it

and will heal

if you choose to do so.

 

what do you think you need the most today?

what are you craving?

 

do you have someone nearby who can comfort you?

someone to b**** to about how awful this is and how long it's taking, if that is where you are at?

 

we will do our best to help you thru this but having real people in your life there to support you can be invaluable

 

seek out the people that you trust to give you what you need

ask for what you want

 you're going to be ok

 

it's been a long 14 mos

it's awful

I know

but YOU'VE DONE IT🙂💓

you got thru all this already!!

you are well on your way

There is a WD expert who believes the average time for healing is 18 mos so srsly it could be just months away for you

 

no one knows for sure but you really want to be looking for it

 

 

hang in there! 

we're right here behind you

 

Edited January 12 by Happy2Heal

[Amy98]

43 minutes ago, Happy2Heal said:

I hesitate to answer this honestly because of your fragile state right now, but instead I will say, that things improved all the time. I don't know what you mean by "normal".

I only took notice of when the distressing symptoms diminished and eventually left completely.

it does take more time than any of us would like, that is for sure.

14 mos is not very long, I'm afraid.  BUT you will NOT be at the same level that you are now. I'd bet anything that things have both changed and that some things have improved for you already but you may not be able to see the improvements yet

I was so overwhelmed with symptoms that for some of them, I didn't even know they WERE THERE til they were GONE! then I was like, oh, something is different, something is better, what happened? it was awesome to find these changes.

it confirmed what I'd been told, that the brain and the body are ALWAYS working towards healing.

 

we just need to give it the time and the best conditions to do so.

that means rest when you can, distract yourself when you need to, don't focus on your symptoms and get caught up in needless worries about them, use the tools in the self help sections on the forum, take good care of your health in general, seek support from loved ones and find ways to pass the time. 

 

 

Healing is not usually linear EXCEPT that for the most part, you can expect to feel better as time goes on.

At first the things that are improving are very hard to notice, because you feel so awful in spite of some symptoms going away.

 

It helps a LOT to try to be a detective and find those things that ARE improving, because it will make this journey so much more manageable and research shows that it helps to attract (not sure that's the exact right term) more and more good things, more progress.

 

it is extremely difficult to have anything close to positive mindset while going thru this- but that doesn't mean it's impossible

 

it is worth putting in the effort to try to look for good things, however.

There are several books on this very subject, I will try to dig up the titles if you are interested

They were absolute game changers for me

 

it may feel like you won't survive but you can and you will. Almost all of us were where you are now. I know, incredible the amount of suffering, right?   but you need to keep this in mind- it's a tough journey but you only have to get thru it LITERALLY one moment at a time.

The present time is all any of us really has

Just this moment, right now

 

focus on that

don't look back, you can't change anything

don't look too far ahead, the future is unknown and unknowable, 

just stay in the present

 

you have gotten thru thousands if not millions of those moments already (math is not my best subject but perhaps it's more like billions or even trillions lol)

 

you did it

we did it

it IS hard

we all feel so bad for each other because of how hard it is

but we got thru it one moment at a time

and you will too

 

you may find you have strength you never imagined you were capable of having

you may learn things that will help you thru out your entire life

 

it's not going to help you to look for others who were "as bad" as you are, trust me, the vast majority of us have the same or more or even worse symptoms! they will differ slightly as we are all different people

 

it is amazing what the human spirit can endure

 

it worries me that you think you can't survive this- are you thinking of harming yourself?  

 

it worries me that you seem to think you are unique and a worst case, I can assure you after all the years I've been on this forum I've read hundreds of stories and yours is par for the course, run of the mill WD symptoms. 

 

that you believe you can't heal can become a self fulfilling prophecy as you may refuse to see where things have gotten better in order to hang on to your special case ideas. 
I too thought I was a special case, but in the opposite direction 😆

I was sure I would heal faster than anyone else

 

this was not totally a bad thing (except when I ignored advice thinking my brain was stronger than most and could withstand doing stupid things like adding ill advised supplements or going up and down in doses, stupid stuff like that)

but overall, having a positive outlook was a good thing, as it made every day that much more pleasant

 

you can be a detective and look each day for something good, or you can be a detective and look for all the ways that you are 'the worst case and no one else has had it as bad'  but what do you get out of that? 

how does that help you?

 

 

you have everyone's sympathy believe me

we feel bad because we've been there and we KNOW what this is like

 

we also know that you can get thru it

and will heal

if you choose to do so.

 

what do you think you need the most today?

what are you craving?

 

do you have someone nearby who can comfort you?

someone to b**** to about how awful this is and how long it's taking, if that is where you are at?

 

we will do our best to help you thru this but having real people in your life there to support you can be invaluable

 

seek out the people that you trust to give you what you need

ask for what you want

 you're going to be ok

 

it's been a long 14 mos

it's awful

I know

but YOU'VE DONE IT🙂💓

you got thru all this already!!

you are well on your way

There is a WD expert who believes the average time for healing is 18 mos so srsly it could be just months away for you

 

no one knows for sure but you really want to be looking for it

 

 

hang in there! 

we're right here behind you

@Happy2Heal thank you for taking the time to reply again. By “normal” I mean being able to do my food shopping, or going to any shopping centre, being able to go for a walk, being able to work, being able to go out to breakfast or dinner, go to the movies, hang out with friends for even an hour, just basic tasks the bare minimum, these are all things I haven’t done in 14 months …. I’m strong I can put up with symptoms .. even bad ones but the ones I have are crippling to the point I can barley leave the house ever. I’m sure maybe tiny things have changed however I don’t even notice them because it’s overall just so bad. When I can go out and even pretend I’m ok Il feel better because I can’t even pretend I’m ok right now. 
 

Every now and then I have a glimpse of hope Il get better it just doesn’t last long or it lasts until a new symptoms pops up and then I google and spiral down having a disease or illness … I almost can’t believe that there are so many people going through the same thing having life’s ruined because of these things it’s awful, it seems like it should almost be illegal for no one to really know about this … 

 

I haven’t directly had thoughts of harming myself however if this were to get worse or I were to get a disease it’s what iv convinced myself Il need to do as my health OCD and anxiety is so bad i couldn’t live sick forever … I wish I had the opposite mindset in terms of thinking I worse of then others i wish I thought I was going to recover quickly because then I may just … 

 

I already know it I come out of this and I can resume to some sort of normal life I will have such a different perspective on life and will be a stronger person, I took everything for granted before this, treated people badly, ignored people, lived in autopilot and didn’t enjoy life. That’s one thing that will change for the better, Il appreciate everything little thing and really live but only if I get better. 
 

I appreciate you and everyone who replies and gives advice and support, I can’t believe I didn’t find SA sooner, I felt very alone for 12 months, unfortunately I don’t have the best support system so I’m just always on my phone/google,chatGPT. 
 

Again thank you I hope one day I can come back on here and share a success story. 

 

[Amy98]

1 hour ago, Erimus said:

I developed severe OCD in withdrawal 3 years ago. I'd never had it prior, it was unlike any type of anxiety I'd ever experienced. It is due to the violently fluctuating serotonin levels in your brain.

 

Anything that arises as a result of withdrawal is equally as likely to heal with time.

I personally had severe OCD prior to this however never in regards to health, since this happened iv gained a whole new OCD specially about health, human body, disease and illness and death. 
 

I have wondered if the POTS, will also heal as my withdrawal does. It’s hard to imagine it going away but I hope so it’s an extra add on that is just awful and sends me to the ER a lot.

[KenA]

9 hours ago, Happy2Heal said:

I was sure I would heal faster than anyone else

I was the same way Hang in there Amy, it does get better