Bee Please - advice needed (mirtazapine)

[Bee]

Please, I need some advice.  Doctors and friends can't give it to me.

 

IN June, I was having some anxiety attacks - health hypochondria over some issues I was having, and was taking Ativan for a couple of weeks - .12 or .25 a day.  Withdrawal and interdose symptoms started almost immediately, but I didn't realize what they were.  After many tests, xrays, and er visit and tons of obsessive internet scrolling, I finally learned that it was the drug causing all the 'weird stuff'. 

 

I had taken Ativan once 10 years before, and same thing happened, but never realized what it was.  Just slowly got better over many months.  Ignorance was bliss.  Now, I went into a state of panic and devastation realizing that the damage was being inflicted by my own hand, and that I might have to go through what I did 10 years back.

 

Throughout June, July the biggest issue I had was inability to sleep -- and truthfully I think most of brought on by my inabiltiy to stop panicking.  I was a wreck -- sleep deprived and underweight-- well meaning friends insisted I see a psych.  I told him about the 'evil' drug ativan; he smiled and said well they're not for everyone.  He prescribed something 'safe' (ha) - remeron.

 

How stupid of me to add another pill to the situation!!  Did not have my wits about me.

 

I was terrified of the pill, but desperate to sleep.  He wanted me to take 15 mg; I started with 3.75.  It gave me wonderful sleep, but the next day a zombie-like feel.  I wasn't sure to continue.  But the next week, continued to sleep decently without it and felt better.

 

Week later, had a sudden panic attack with numbness around my temples (already withdrawal from the one dose of mirt???)  and couldn't sleep again.  So I started taking an eigth of a pill (1.8 mg), thinking that would prevent too much dependence.  Took it for eight days, and my legs swelled up.  I suspected the mirt and stopped taking it.

 

Felt ok, a week later developed a weird head pain.  I took half of an eigth for two alternating days, and then after that felt pretty good.  But quirky aches and pains and feelings started up in the next 4 weeks.  And of course eventually inability to sleep.  People had mentioned online that they took mirt occasionally just to get a good night's sleep.  So I tried taking 1.8 mg last Thursday.  Immediate head and stomach pain.  Got some sleep, but awoke to the most awful anxiety I had ever experienced.  Horrible -  it had behaved so innocently the first week I took it.  That night I went running at the park, around and around, until I was gasping for air,  crying the whole time for the feeling to go away.

 

This week I have not left the house.  No sleep, horrible pains and sensations, confusion.  I don't know what to do.  Last night buzzing in feet and calves all night, zero sleep, back burning, and the damn head numbness and pains. 

 

What do I do -- do I suffer through this and hope it's short? Go back to taking the mirt and try to stabilize, or get a different pill to stabiilize?  I just feel like my body dislikes these pills, and fights them immediately.  I can't function.  My family needs me.  Please help.

 

Thank you

[mammaP]

Hi Bee, I am so sorry you are feeling so bad. I know this is a very difficult time for you but please sit back

and take some deep steady breaths as you are reading this.  You have come to the right place here for help

with the meds and how to go from here, doctors don't always know what these meds can do to people and 

generally don't know how to taper properly. It is sad that some people are affected worse than others and can

be affected badly from just a few pills while others seem to be able to go on for ages without any bad effects. 

 

Your anxiety will be making things worse, but I know it is hard to control too. there are lots of techniques and

suggestions for websites to help cope with anxiety in the symptoms and self care boards.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

It would help staff if you could put your meds history in your signature, just rough dates and doses, so they can see

what is the best advice. Here's how to do that.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/893-please-put-your-withdrawal-history-in-your-signature/

 

Someone will be along very soon who can advise you. I hope you can find some relief from knowing what is going on,

for me that is everything. We can work with our body when we know what is happening and why. 

Hugs for you.  Mamma P

[Altostrata]

Welcome, Bee.

 

I'm sorry you're going through this.

 

It sounds like you have adverse reactions to mirtazapine. For info, see http://www.drugs.com/sfx/mirtazapine-side-effects.html

 

As mammaP suggested, please look in our Symptoms forum for ways to cope with your withdrawal symptoms. It doesn't make any sense to me for you to keep trying mirtazapine.

 

It also seems that Ativan doesn't get along well with your nervous system. Are you still taking it?

[Bee]

Thank you both for responding.

 

Alto, I stopped the ativan back in early July. My concern is that I am having withdrawal symptoms, specifically of the mirt. I have read some of the posts on this forum, and it looks like I am in deep trouble. Seems like reinstating mirt is not so easy, and I've missed the best window to do it. But what if the symptoms continue to get worse? i am feeling awful today.

 

 

Do you think reinstating is Not wise in My case?

 

I know the amounts look ridiculous, doctors all brush me off but I Have always been so sensitive to medication. I am really concerned that I should have very delicately tapered even the small amount I started with.

[Jemima]

I think Alto is right in that you seem to have a bad reaction to Mirtazapine.  Given that, reinstatement and tapering would only prolong the discomfort.  You may also be having some withdrawal symptoms from Ativan.

 

All withdrawal symptoms get better and worse from one day to the next, although over time the bad times get better and the better times get even better and more frequent. We call this the "windows and waves" pattern of recovery.  There's a discussion about this on the 'Symptoms and self-care' board if you'd like to read more.

 

Trying another kind of medication is probably not a good idea, either. There is just no quick and easy way out of antidepressant or benzo withdrawal and any one of us here on the forum can tell you that it takes much longer than anyone would want. All I can advise at this point is to make yourself as comfortable as you can without any drugs and be very patient.

 

Welcome to the forum, Bee. You'll find lots of good information and friendly support here.