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Hello, my name is Jami. I am new to this forum and need some support and advice on a taper. I haven't started the Prozac taper yet but i have been injured by the medical field for the past four years. I have come off five diff phyc med drugs given to me for one wd for the next. It has been a brutal couple of years. I was given the wrong advice and Poly drugged because no dr or phyc dr. understood what i was going through. I searched for help and came across a benzo forum and found out what i was going through was benzo wds. and then i was told to come off lexipro . I was on that for 16 years, and it wasn't even being given to me by a phyc dr. I didn't ever struggle with depression or anything. I had an acute situation 16 years ago and just stayed on the Lexapro with no one tell me it is doing more harm than anything? i tapered 20 mlg for 8 months and when i got down from 5mlg to 2.5 something unimaginable happened. I had severe pacing akathisia and verbal aka. I paced for 5 months. I went to ers hospitals, phyc hospitals everywhere, and they all said i had anxiety! I had flu symptoms, chills, burning skin, insomnia, shakes, pgad, muscle pains, joints, agoraphobia, sweats, paranoid, angry etc. and it wouldn't stop? I had full on ssri discontinuation syndrome. No one was able to help me. I was told by a phyc dr that that cannot happen when i did my own research and it can and did. I was then put on Zyprexa with Prozac. 20 mlg Prozac, and 5 mlg of Zyprexa. I decided i didn't want to stay on the Zyprexa so i lowered it right away to 2.5 and then began to taper it by liquid for 14 months. I also was put back on a benzo that i had to taper another benzo liquid for 12 months. I was also having wds from baclofen was given to me again with no clue that was so addictive, and I even was put on suboxone for pain that I had to come off and went through severe wds from. It's been an absolute terrifying nightmare. for me and my family and loss of job and life. I am now 5 weeks off Zyprexa and having horrific wds. and am just taking the Prozac 20 mlg and I feel like when i now take the Prozac my now sensitive brain cant even handle that? I want to come off it but i am scared that i will have aka again like last time. I don't know if the Prozac is an entirely diff drug then the Lexapro now being out of my system for almost 3 years. Can i taper while i am in Zyprexa wd??? and still 6 months now off this valume? I also can't find much literature on Zyprexa wds ? I have all the aches pains anxiety tremors insomnia joints ache teeth hurt eyes blurry. its getting a little better but still very much there. I have spent over 100,000 on tests and treatments being told i have Lyme again and this and that. had major Lyme treatments. nothing worked. Because it's been one drug wd after the next and there is no information out there? These drs don't have a clue??? Its not my Lyme its classic brain injury. I am wondering if anyone has any advice or help for me to get through the rest of this nightmare. Thank you. I cannot even type the major harm and trauma that has been done to me with this, its hard to fathom this can happen to people.

Any tardive akathisia success stories? Thought this might be a really nice post of hope for a condition that is usually seen as very hopeless. 🙂 I've seen a few people successfully heal from acute akathesia by changing their dosage etc. But was wondering if there was any success stories on tardive or withdrawal akathesia, especially for those who aren't even on meds anymore? Also if anyone has been in a similar position as me - I haven't been on any drugs since 2018, but I smoked weed for a few days in June 2021, then I was suddenly hit with akathesia 3 months later (I've never even had akathesia before).

Hi everyone, So glad to have found this forum in my journey weaning off Paxil. Because of severe withdrawal symptoms during my doctor's recommended tapering schedule, I'm weaning off Paxil painstakingly slowly (liquid prescription, with a syringe). I have a question about tapering at smaller doses. I accidentally missed a dose (just 1.2 mg.) on January 17. Anyone who has taken Paxil knows that you do. not. skip. a dose. I don't know how it happened, but I forgot to take it one night (for the first time in about ten years). For the next TWO WEEKS, I was nauseous, had trouble eating, had mood swings, and worst of all, had some very scary depersonalization (feeling like I was in a dream or on LSD). Very scary. So, this can really happen from just missing a tiny 1.2 mg. dose? I called my doctor and they said this "isn't because of Paxil." Lol. Thanks so much! (This is why I'm so grateful for this forum--people actually dealing with the reality of tapering off these medicines.) Wouldn't tapering get easier as I get down to lower doses? ? What am I going to do at lower doses? The 10% method sounds good in theory, but yikes -- it will take forever just to get off 1.2 mg. My eventual goal is to get off Paxil and Zoloft, but my primary goal is to stay alive. I appreciate your thoughts and opinions! Thanks! I ran out of room in my signature for my quite-lengthy history, so I am expanding it here since this is my intro post: On Paxil since 1996--anxiety and depression. It worked for a while, but had to keep increasing it. 20 mg --> 40 mg --> 60 mg. For years I've wanted to get off it -- it wasn't working anymore, but very difficult to come off. Early 2013--Getting treated for sleep apnea (with CPAP) eliminated about 75% of my anxiety. Who knew?!?!? How long had I had sleep apnea, but treated anxiety with meds? March 2013: Feeling so good with CPAP treatment that I started weaning off Paxil about 10 mg/month: 60mg to 50 mg to 40 mg (NO negative effects whatsoever--if anything, I just felt better and better.) July 2013-- went from 40 mg to 30 mg. Some dizziness; nothing major. Starting a new job; paused taper. June 2014, began Paxil taper again, going from 30 to 20 in one week. (I can't believe that a medical professional actually advised me to do this.) This was very, very bad (dizziness and suicidality--the first time in my life--very scary), so went back to 25mg. Stayed at 25 mg. for another year. Not looking forward to going back down and continuing taper! In June 2015 started a cross-taper while adding Zoloft--went from 25 mg. Paxil to 20, to 10, to [this was the most difficult one] 5.) The cut from 10 to 5 mg gave me akathisia; nausea; suicidal thoughts; rage; and severe anxiety. Most of my time was consumed in dealing with Paxil tapering effects. August 2015 -- obtained a prescription for liquid Paxil. September: 4 mg Paxil October 2015: Suicidality -- doctor advised me to go up on Zoloft; I did so to save my life. Now at 100 mg Zoloft. (But it's not working -- my exercise, eating, meditation, acupuncture, and supplements are.) October to December 2015: 4 mg Paxil --> 3 mg --> 2 mg --> 1.6 mg. Symptoms are tolerable at this rate; the worst is a feeling of being intoxicated for several hours a day. But going this slow makes me feel like it will take forever to get off! ! ! Currently: 1.2 mg Paxil. Also: Vitamin D; Vitamin B complex; magnesium; plenty of protein; exercise; acupuncture; meditation/mindfulness; working with a naturopathic doctor.

ADMIN NOTE Also see Weighted blankets & Bed Tents for restlessness, akathisia, insomnia and anxiety Blog: My Akathisia Experience by akathisiainfo contains many reports of drug-induced akathisia and recovery from it NOTICE This is a poster circulating on Facebook. It is inaccurate and not endorsed by the Akathisia Alliance. The symptoms it attributes to akathisia mostly do NOT describe akathisia. Addition September 15, 2022: Due to the tireless work of patient advocates over the last several years, akathisia has become a better known adverse effect of drugs. However, I have seen more drug-induced activation than akathisia. Quite frequently, members report here they have "akathisia" when they're taking too many "brakes" (sedating drugs such as benzodiazepines, antipsychotics, sleep drugs, etc.). This is not what I would call akathisia but activation from the paradoxical effect of sedating drugs at doses that are too high. If you take too many "brakes", your nervous system rebels against being so pressed down, responding with symptoms of activation that might be taken for akathisia. That is a paradoxical reaction, because the drugs are supposed to be calming rather than activating. You have control over a paradoxical reaction, because you can eliminate it by reducing the drug. You do not have control over akathisia, which is related to a movement disorder, and may persist or emerge after you reduce the drug. - Altostrata There's an interesting discussion of akathisia buried in this May 25, 2011 post by psychiatrist Steve Balt http://carlatpsychiatry.blogspot.com/2011/05/horizant-second-coming-of-gabapentin.html ".... However, the symptoms of RLS (restless leg syndrome) are rather nonspecific: "an urge to move the limbs, which improves with activity and worsens with rest." That's about it. Which leads to yet another problem (a problem that GSK and Xenoport don't see as a problem, that's for sure): with such vague and common symptoms (who among us hasn't felt somewhat restless at times, with interrupted sleep?), a lot of people might get diagnosed with RLS when their symptoms are actually due to something else. A while back, a fellow blogger directed me to the RLS "patient page" on the National Institutes of Health (NIH) web site, where RLS was—and still is—referred to as "akathisia." However, these may be two entirely different things. Akathisia (from the Greek for "not sitting still") has long been recognized as a side effect of some—perhaps most—psychiatric medications, from antipsychotics to antidepressants. It is often described as an "inner restlessness," a "need to keep moving." Sometimes it's associated with extreme emotional distress. In terms of severity, it can range from a mild nuisance to—in some cases—aggressive tendencies. (Indeed, the psychiatrist David Healy has even linked psychotropic-induced akathisia to suicide attempts and violent behavior.) Psychiatrists really don't know exactly what causes akathisia, and disagree on how to treat it. It may have something to do with dopamine blockade, or something completely independent. Treatment might consist of benzodiazepines (like Ativan or Valium), beta blockers (like propranolol), or discontinuing the drug that caused it in the first place. Unlike RLS, which seems to bother people most when they are lying down (hence its tendency to disrupt sleep), drug-induced akathisia is worse when people are awake and moving around. Sounds like a simple distinction. But nothing is quite this simple, particularly when psychiatric drugs—and real people—are involved. In fact, many psychiatric meds can cause other motor side effects, too, involving (theoretically) yet other neural pathways, such as "parkinsonian" side effects like rigidity and tremor. In fact, some antipsychotic drug trials show "restlessness" and "akathisia" as entirely separate side effects (and when I've tried to ask experts to explain the difference, I have never received a straightforward answer.) ...."

Unsure if I'm posting in the right place but this is somewhat of an introduction. 1.5 years ago I started on 20mg of Prozac for OCD. There was restlessness with starting but it went away. Gradually I tapered down to 10mg of Prozac which I was on for a full year. 2 months ago, I felt the sudden onset of a a very severely agitated feeling. It was very vague but I can pinpoint the exact moment I noticed it -- I was sitting, doing nothing remarkable, and unstressed. I had felt something like this before throughout my treatment but it was very very temporary and felt more like an agitated depression brought on by external circumstances. When this feeling started I could not pinpoint anything else as the cause. Things were good in all parts of my life. I had not messed with the dosage of Prozac at all for a year. Is it still possible that the Prozac is causing this long term agitation/akathisia that I still experience today? A month into the feeling I decided to taper off Prozac completely. I experienced very little withdrawal...just mild headaches and dizziness. The akathisia didn't get worse or better. But it is still quite bad. And the longer it continues the more hopeless I become and probably the more depressed as well because I can't see a life without this agitation anymore. Started on some Klonopin to treat the restlessness and help me sleep. Has anyone else experienced akathisia without a dose change? And also only being on a low dose?

Hi I started with anxiety and panic attacks almost a month ago, I had been under stress at work and had lost my appetite and considerable amount of weight, and was not sleeping. My GP prescribed Citalopram 20mg, and within a few hours of taking this I was almost crazy, pacing up and down the house, feeling I needed to get out of my own body and on day 3 started with horrible dark thoughts and images of me killing myself. Mainly the images were around knives. I must stress that prior to taking this medication I had never had a dark or suicidal thought.On day 7 of taking this drug I stopped due to the awful side affects which I now believe was Akathisia. I seen a private pysicatrist who put this down to a bad reaction with the citalopram and recommended sertraline, I waited almost two weeks before taking the sertraline as the dark thoughts still persisted, the majority of the other symptoms seems to subside. Earlier this week I started on the sertraline 25mg, once again the same symptoms have returned as in the beginning when taking the citalopram, this is only on day 2 of the sertraline. I have only recently learned about this condition but I am now going to discontinue with the sertraline given that Akathisia can last longer than the time the medication was taken. Has anyone experienced this due to the combination of these SSRI's? My GP is absolutely no help at the minute hence me having to seek help privately.

this may be long but its a complete overview of how psych drugs have destroyed my life(hopefully temporarily) I was put on zoloft at 14 for depression and severe OCD. the effects were actually extremely therapeutic and healing. I havent had any compulsions since( 6 years ago). so I do not regret going on it looking back, but i had no idea i was going destined to go down the rabbit hole of psychotropic meds. zoloft made me develop a duodenal ulcer and berets esophagus which made me feel nauseas all the time, thankfully nexium seemed to fix it and I haven't had gastrointestinal problems since. fast forward 3 years after i moved away to start my first year of college. amongst the workloads and new experiences i accidentally cold turkeyed my meds and decided to stay off. I slowly started to experience depression which seemed managable until i began to feel the anxiety creep back in. it got to the point where i was freaked out enough that my OCD would return that went to my psychiatrist, he thought the logical thing to do was to be put back on the zoloft but i was not keen on that idea because of my fear of furthering my gastro problems in starting the medication back up. I was also tired of feeling exhausted all the time, so he suggested an SSNRI and put me on wellbutrin. i only managed a couple weeks on it i believe as it aggrivated my anxiety, so he took me off and put me on effexor. the effexor worked pretty well for me as i increased my doses. i believe i was on 225 mg. after my freshman year i moved back home because i had made changes to my degree path that the university i was attending couldn't fulfill. I again began taking my meds sporadically and feeling the effects of it, some brain zaps, slight change in though process, anxiety and pretty bad depression. i eventually cold turkeyed the effexor(idiotic) and felt the depression worsen by the weeks. thankfully i was at home where i could be as upset and weird as i needed to be thanks to the worlds most understanding mother( dealt with two of her siblings' bipolar disorder). as i waited for my appointment with a new psychiatrist in my home town, things got to the point where i was ready to take any medication in order to feel better, so i went into my sessions with my new psychiatrist with a completely open yet naive perspective about meds, considering it was the effexor that that screwed me up. he immediately pointed out the other doctors mistake in changing drug classes too quickly. so he decided i should stick with the ssri's. I was hesitant because i thought i was so messed up i was beyond that. boy was i wrong. he put me on lexapro and said it was one of the more heavy duty ssri's. i began taking the medication and felt a slow leveling of my mood as i worked up to 20mg( 3 years ago). however, i was not satisfied with my progress after about a month, so he decided that adding abilify would help things. after taking one abilify pill i would never underestimate the power of psych meds again. I took the abilify at night and went to bed but the abilify would not let me sleep a wink. everytime i would doze off i would jerk awake as if i had a nightmare. there was also a slight feeling of restlessness and anxiety. it was torture but thankfully only lasted that night as i never took a second pill. at this point i figured that the lexapro was enough and it was for about 2 years as my well being kept increasing and i felt completely in control of my emotions. at the time i had bad cystic acne and wanted to go on accutane as a last resort. my psychiatrist approved despite my worries of the potential psychological effects, he thought the lexapro was a good enough safety net. so i went on a 7 month cycle of accutane and developed no psychological issues. however i did feel a dulling to my mental processing nothing too extreme but something i was aware of. I thought it was without a doubt the accutane because at the time i was sold on the effectiveness and benefits of psych meds. 4 months after stopping the accutane i decided to taper down to 10mg, and i did as my doctor instructed, but as we all know now, standard medical protocol for tapering off meds is pretty inaccurate. i started noticing diffuse pain in my body. i thought i was just working out too hard, as i exercised and lifted weights 6 days a week. but the pain progressed to a point where my workouts had to be compromised and my muscle movement became slightly rigid and my connective tissue was snapping and popping, so i eventually went to the doctor. i was referred to a rheumatologist who did a full work up and found no signs of inflammation. which was both relieving but also unsettling because the nonspecific diagnosis of fibromyalgia was not good enough for me. I was also told that i may or may not be developing an autoimmune disease which scared the **** out of me( ha if only i knew how much worse things were going to get). the popping and snapping made me believe i was developing rheumatoid arthritis. the fear drove me to an alternative and proactive approach to healing. I began eating vegan, then paleo/anti inflammatory. the diet was difficult and made me lose a lot of muscle mass. but i kept on it until i was invited to a friends 21st birthday party in vegas. during that weekend i threw away all dietary restrictions all at once and payed for it. the very first night of heavy drinking exacerbated all of my symptoms and added a neurological flavor to it; i began to experience weakness and tremors.this occured eveyrtime i drank in the future. i didnt want to miss out so i powered through it. I managed to come back and continue my diet temporarily before i moved for school again. fall of 2014, I moved to SF for school and was so excited about the possibilities awaiting me in the city. i was still on 10 mg of lexapro at the time and felt mentally sound accept for a and clear increase in brain fog which i thought was related to whatever mysterious illness was brewing in me. still, i never thought to attribute it to the lexapro because in my mind, there was no way an antidepressant could manifest such physical symptoms but I weaned off the 10 down to 5 over a couple weeks to be sure. my time in SF only lasted 2 months as the symptoms progressed and I fell more ill. I began experiencing reccuring fevers of 104 and missed a lot of class. the health center doctors there swore is was just a bad virus. but i wasnt getting better and I began to notice twitches in my muscles at rest. I missed so much class, i had to come back home and get my health back in line. the possibilities were extremely distressing. i was reffered to an infectious disease specialist who believed i might have contracted HIV or Lyme disease. after some blood tests, he ruled out HIV but wanted to be absolutely sure it wasnt lyme or some other infection he might have missed. he decided a spinal tap would be the best way to confirm. it made complete sense that i would have lyme disease since my symptoms matched the criteria completely however the results were negative. the spinal tap procedure was pretty much painless, but the spinal headache and back pain drove me to pop Vicodin like dr. house. it would only subside when i was completely flat. this lasted a little over a week. the hole in my spine was leaking so much that i temporarily lost my hearing while visiting my brother in chico. i woke up and my right ear was not picking up anything and the headache had worsened. I informed my mother and we drove to the ER. after waiting 5 hours in the waiting room a nurse took us back to a hallway gurney. I'll never forget this nurses name because of what she put me through. my options were an emergency blood patch, or fluids and pain medication. I went with the latter because i was done with needles going into my back. the nurse hooked me up to an iv and told me the drug cocktail she was going to give me was a non narcotic combination of muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories, and antiemetics. after all the vicodin i was done with narcotics so I agreed to the cocktails administration. even now as i write this I get an overwhelming feeling of regret. the cocktail contained, benadryl, toradol, and compazine. little did i know that compazine was first generation antipsychotic. I immediately felt the effects. horrid akathisia radiating from my chest, agitation, terror, anxiety, increased twitching, and instantly put into a state of depersonalization where i became unable to think with any clarity. I felt as though i needed to run up and down the hospital hallways but i was too terrified to even speak to my mother and the benadryl was making my body weak and drowsy. the attending came back and asked how i was feeling, I wanted to get the hell out of there so i told them better. after i was discharged we drove back to my brother's place where i unsuccessfully tried to sleep off the meds. I woke the next day still feeling high as i called it at the time. after we came back home I had a panic attack over not being able to unwind to sleep. I just couldn't relax and sit still. so i took more benadryl which did nothing and i researched other people's experiences with compazine. this was both a mistake and a tool as i found out about my experiencing akathisia and depersonalization. i kept waiting for the drugs to wear off but weeks went by and there was not change. I went back to my psychiatrist and he said that the compazine would eventually work its way out of my system. its been 2 months since the IV compazine and 3 months since i weaned off the lexapro and things have only gotten worse. i still felt mentally sound after i came of the lexapro despite the physical symptoms everything changed when i was given the compazine. everyday now is a struggle. I cannot be a functioning member of society in this state, my sleep has now become affected, it feels like im in an initial state of sleep and staring at my eyelids. im constantly uncomfortable and few things are helping me cope. this experience has taught me about the true harm of psychotropics. I wouldve never thought the lexapro was actually causing my lyme disease symptoms. my question is, has anyone experienced a recovery from compazine and or lexapro or acute drug induced akathisia and depersonalization??? since drugs got me here in the first place i plan to ride things out as long as i can on my own, are there any supplements worth taking to help ease or heal me? this really is what hell on earth feels like. if you read all of my story, thanks for your interest.

I have tried three times now to taper off Abilify. My last try I had gotten down to .25mg daily and then I had insomnia for three nights and then went into psychosis. I had to be hospitalized. At the hospital they raised my dose to a very high amount, 10mg in morning and then 15mg. night. This caused akathisia, but got me out of psychosis. I am now back down to 5mg of Abilify. (Under supervision of my psychiatrist) My akathisia is much better, but I think I still have it. I do not know what to do at this point... I really wanted to be medication free, but that is not possible unless I exercised more and took other supplements consistently. So I could try again, to taper off completely,(and risk being hospitalized again) or I could stay at a maintenance dose of maybe 2mg daily. What do you guys think? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

Hi Everyone, I need help safely tapering slowly off Ativan (lorazepam) so I don't die in the process and don't retrigger severe akathisia I've had over this past year: I am about to slowly dry or water microtaper off of 2mg of Ativan (0.5mg 4x daily) that I was prescribed for dealing with severe akathisia that hospitalized me and that I had from January-August this year (2023). I have a histamine intolerance from tolerating? Ativan that has severely restricted my diet and my weight is currently 107-109lbs and I'm 5" 8'. I'm working to increase my weight and introduce foods. I've had akathisia for the past year and would like to avoid retriggering it during my taper I am interested in doing Brassmonkey's taper method I have a Gemini scale for tapering and a file Because of the histamine intolerance and akathisia risk, I am not switching over to Valium and can't tolerate the inactive ingredients in liquid ativan from a compounding pharmacy to do that either. I would like advice and help with calculating my taper schedule since I'm taking 4 doses of 0.5mg a day and want to avoid eliminating doses and causing interdose withdrawal how to do a dry taper using brassmonkey's method (especially once the doses get small)? how to communicate to my psychiatrist the rate of my taper (if I'm reducing my milligrams of weight and not dosage, how do I tell her what amount of dose I'm tapering each month?) My background (Diagnosed with akathisia in May 2023) 2019-2022 Previously on lexapro 10mg for anxiety, OCD, and reflux for 3 years (2019-December 2022) August - Acute severe akathisia from compazine in IV at hospital after minor car accident. Went away after 48 hours. September-October- Milder akathisia every time I took my Lexapro. October-December - Tapered off lexapro 10mg by skipping doses. Akathisia stopped at the time after this briefly. December - digestive issues, depression, anxiety 2023 January 1-4 - attempted to get on 25mg Prozac for 4 days. Developed severe akathisia and stopped taking Prozac. January-May - Akathisia continued January-August because doctors thought initially it was anxiety and had me try numerous meds January-April - Back on lexapro 10mg and doctors added Zyprexa 2.5mg for weight loss and sleep from pacing and sweating with akathisia Late march - Zyprexa caused me liver issues. CT'd off it in 3 days. Akathisia worsened. Was hospitalized March 26-April 9 - Hospitalized. Rapid tapered off lexapro in first week. Started Ativan 1mg daily. Tried risperidone and seroquel once each but stopped due to side effects. April 9-May 10 - Put in partial hospitalization program where I: tried and stopped buspar 30mg after 2 weeks (made akathisia worse) tried and stopped gabapentin after 2 weeks (helped akathisia but gave me bad breathing issues) tried to CT off the 1mg of Ativan I'd been on for 2 weeks (made akathisia worse and caused severe W/D symptoms). This included trying to cross over to Klonopin which made akathisia worse. May 10 - diagnosed with akathisia by neurologist. Got a new psychiatrist in partial hospitalization program. Put back on and increased Ativan to 2mg daily (0.5mg 4x a day) which I've been on ever since. Late May - June - Developed dry eye problems from histamine intolerance issues from Ativan. Akathisia worsened for a bit with new symptoms. Changed to low histamine diet which improved things significantly but also caused me to lose a lot of weight July - Developed more eye problems tried eye drops and antibacterial eyelid wipe treatments which triggered worse akathisia for two weeks. August - Stopped all medicinal eye treatments. Akathisia started to improve considerably. September-November - Akathisia continued to improve but started having benzo tolerance symptoms (short term memory, crying spells, some mild-moderate akathisia). For the past 4 weeks I've been sleeping till 11am which is unusual. My weight is 107-109lbs. I'm still having eye issues Thanks everyone for your help in advance! thePooka

Hi all, It’s nice to “meet” you, although I wish none of us were here to begin with honestly. I just wanted to share my experience here and see if anyone has gone through or is currently going through similar. I’ve struggled with light anxiety and severe depression genetically and trauma-based for most of my adult life. The anxiety had completely gone in the last few years, so I was only on small doses of meds for the last year to help with insomnia mostly. On February 15th, 2023 I had a string of never-ending migraines and went to the hospital to get checked out. They offered my an IV bag of fluids, one of which was Compazine. They shrugged off potential side effects when I asked, and I’ve spent part of every day since wishing I hadn’t trusted them. They pushed the IV and I had an immediate severe acute akathisia reaction that was horrifying. It faded over the next few days, until I thought it was just a horrible memory and was in the clear. The next two weeks, I experienced some heightened anxiety and a couple of super random panic attacks, which I chalked up to trauma from the Compazine. Until I had what I thought was just a really bad panic attack that just never went away. Derealization, intrusive thoughts of self-harm, constant panic coursing through my body, shaking, this uncontrollable feeling that I can’t do this and am going to die, time absolutely CRAWLING by, etc. I had my partner take me to the hospital and I was told that I have AKA from the low dose seroquel I’d been on since January. I was taken cold Turkey off my 50mg of seroquel and 50mg lamictal (just in case), prescribed Propranolol, and told it will pass with time. So, to summarize, as of today (March 24th, 2023) I am 5 weeks and 3 days out from the IV dose of Compazine. I’m also 2 weeks and 3 days completely off Seroquel and Lamictal. I can’t find a pattern or waves/windows in my symptoms currently - they feel like they’re 24/7. I’ve tried Mirtazipine for sleep and it makes me worse. Benadryl makes me worse as well. The Propranolol helps with the physical symptoms (which I don’t have many of), but doesn’t do a whole lot for the mental symptoms, which are very much the worst, most torturous part of this for me. The propranolol also seems to be messing more with my sleep. My cognitive issues have me struggling - I’ve been trying to keep my job. I work remotely for now and they’re aware of what I’m dealing with. I forget everything, and have trouble forming coherent sentences. I used to be so engaged and communicative with everyone, and now I can’t! I feel like I should be getting better at this point. I mean, maybe I am, but I don’t feel like I’ve seen or felt enough change that I can feel like I am getting better. I have a 9 year old that I promised I’d stay here for. I feel very hopeless and need stories of improvement to help get me through. I know many folks have gone through this way longer, and that I’m not hearing of as many recovery/healing stories from people because they either don’t use these platforms for support, or they leave this all behind when they do heal. So I’ve only heard of long-term ordeals and suffering. If anyone has been through this with Compazine, please please connect with me. Thank you so much.

Dear all, I took Sertraline 50 (French name for Zoloft). for only a month and I have developped PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder) following a too fast withdrawal. I read the story of some of your members who had PGAD when they withdrew from an antidepressant and their stories looked like mine and gave me hope and I hope they can confort me and assist me because I am in a very dark place. I read the stories of Hopefull anf Broken. Are they still on the forum ? How are they doing ? Until December 2016, I had never taken any antidepressant or a benzo in my entire life. I was leading an happy life with my husband and son in the West of France. We had a chemical accident in december. I mixed 2 products while cleaning my house, bleach and a cleaning product with acid and stupidly burnt my lungs and got a toxic choc on the 27th of december. My doctor thought I was anxious afer the accident and put me on Xanax 0.25, half a pill at night. I took it for a month in January 2017 and was sent to a psychiatrist who put me on Lisanxia 10, a pill a day. I felt suicidal because i didnt understand I was suffering from the Xanax withdrawal the doctors kept changing the pill without any tappering, I stayed on Lysanxia 10, a pill a day the whole February , then another psychiatrist decided to put me on Bromazepan 6 (4 quarter a day). I stayed on Bromazepan the entire March and he put me back on Xanax, all of that cold turkey. And that how I met my worse nightmare, the Sertraline AD: I was feeling very agitated on benzos, my lungs and entire skin were burning and everybody told me it was in my head. I didn't agree so I was hospitalised againt my wish in a psychiatrist hospital. There, they made me stop my Xanax 0.25 cold turkey and put me on Sertraline 50. This happened on Easter monday 2017 (April 17 th). After 2 weeks, I was sent home and started feeling very ill, I had tremors, agitation, fatigue, shakes, flu like symptoms and suicidal thoughts. I went to see a GP who told me I could drop the Sertraline to 25 because I had only been on it for 2 weeks and I could slowly stop it. I went on the 25 pill and then I started having violent withdrawal side effects (I don't know which ones came from Xanax or from Sertraline) : My symptoms : Sensitivity to light and smells, burning skin, hyperacusis, agitation, akathisia, tinnitus and when I thought it couldn't get worse, I started peeing every 10 minutes, got a hyperactive bladder, terrible pains in my genitalias, bladder and pelvic area and the worse of it permanent arousal. Since I have kept the tinnitus in my left ear, the akatisia and PGAD. I was sent to another mental hospital at the beginning of June because I thought they could help me with PGAD. They put me on Risperidone for a week while they made me stop the Sertraline very fast (they made me take it every 2 days for a week then they replaced it with Anafranil 25 that I kept for a week. My tinnitus got worse and my PGAD stayed the same. I was getting sicker and sicker so the psychiatrist stopped the Anafranil and the Risperidone and I was put back on Xanax. I am now back at home, my PGAD symptoms are terrible and I am considered manic and hypocondriac. My doctor wants to put me back in a mental hospital. I can't look after my family and Iam in a very dark place with suicidal thoughts My 3 main withdrawal symptoms : high pitched tinnitus, agitation and PGAD. Pins and needles in my lower back, legs and arms when the PGAD crisis start. . MY PGAD symptoms : Overactive bladder, ongoing arousal sensations in and around the genitals, having to go to the toilets every 10 minutes, pelvic pains, Pins and needle, shaking. It is atrocious and it makes me suicidal. I take 3 Xanax 0.25 a day and a Zopiclone 7 to sleep. I cannot sit because the symptoms get worse and I can barely walk because my bladder hurts. I spend my days crying on my bed with an ice pack on my lower parts. At night I cannot sleep well because of the tinnitus. I went to see an urologist, I had a cystoscopy done and they told me it is not an interstitial cysticis and gave me Lyrica (I am scared of taking it because I fear it will make my tinnitus worse). Nobody knows this symptom in France and people think i am crazy. Thank you for reading my story. Please can you reassure me ? I am terrified and I am suffering greatly. Would it go away ? Is it a withdrawal symptom ? Thank you so much for having this site on the internet. It gave me a lot of confort. Cathyfrench (I am french so I hope my English is not too bad, my apologies for my grammatical errors)

I am having a lot of trouble understanding how to navigate this site. I really need advice and I don’t know how to post my info. I was put on seroquel for 15 days a few weeks ago stopped CT having tardive dyskinesia and I need to know if I should reinstate and taper and how much I should take. I was trying to taper mirtazapine 7.5mg at 1/8of a pill over a month. I am in a lot of pain. I am also on 1mg xanax 3x a day. i don’t have a computer to post all the info u want. I did put it in my bio

Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.

MOD NOTE: See this post for information about Dominal Hello everybody, first excuse for the english I'm from Germany but hope that everything is understandable. Also sorry that the story is a little longer. I am male 41 years old. In 2003, my doctor prescribed Paroxetine (Paxil) for me. Diagnosis depression. Today I do not believe it anymore. One year later I tried to abruptly stop what went wrong of course, as I approached my doctor he said I should just take it all my life. I thought maybe I was sick and so took the stuff like many others. I have not thought about it for a long time and kept taking it, mostly 20mg some time also 40mg. but the last few years 20mg. Over the years, I had more and more stomach problems, everything was clarified and found nothing in recent years, the stomach problems were getting worse so I weighed only about 60kg at 1.85m height and I finally came to the fact that it must be the paroxetine. So I informed myself on the internet (unfortunately not thoroughly enough) and reduced the paroxetine from August to December 2018 in 4 week intervals 20mg, 10mg, 7,5mg, 5mg, 2,5mg all about without scales. that works good I had in between brainzaps and my stomach problems were not better but otherwise almost no problems. I took my last 2.5mg pill one week before Christmas 2018. About 2 weeks later I could not sleep in some nights, I thought that was over. In the middle of January I could not sleep at all and there was a lot of dizziness. I briefly took zolpidem for a total of maybe 5-7 tablets over two to three weeks. I was only able to sleep for 2-3 hours with zolpidem. Then I researched further and found the German forum they advised me to try again dosing that I did it after 7 weeks. Only 0.25mg then 0.5mg, etc. the dizziness disappeared but the insomnia remained. Then I stupidly continued high doses Gradually to 5mg but the insomnia has remained. then I went to a clinic that increased the paroxetine to 10mg and only prescribed trimipramim 25mg from which I was able to sleep a little bit and then switched to Dominal 40mg after 4 weeks. My sleep did not get much better and it became more and more scary until today. I stayed for 4.5 months on 10mg Paroxetine and 40mg Dominal which I temporarily increased to 60mg in the meantime but also brought no success. In the meantime, I have reduced paroxetine again, my current medication is 8.5mg Paroxetine in the morning and 45mg Dominal in the evening. I am absolutely terrible for 12 months and cannot work. It's changing all the time, but it's still terrible. Although I have physical symptoms such as shaking, freezing, transpire, sore muscles, internal vibration, moving like a robot etc. but the mental are the worst and I do not know how long I can stand it. meanwhile I can sleep mostly 3-6 hours at night it is a bad easy sleep and feels totally different in the old days. I hardly ever have windows, sometimes I feel 50% like in the past. The worst of all is the fear she comes in the morning from 5 o'clock and then increases in the immeasurable I can barely breathe, before 12 o´clock sometimes has to go to the toilet 7 times (in German we say for the big job) but not because of the stomach but out of fear. I curl up in fear and can barely stand upright. it is a feeling to be crushed. and to go crazy. I have to cry in despair because I cannot stand it anymore. I've read a lot about the morning cortisol boost. but in my case, it actually has to be more that feeling and that fear often lasts until the evening and is indescribable. The second thing that worried me a lot and where I have not read in any form is that I have absolutely no peace as soon as I am awake I have no peace anymore I can barely sit, let alone rest or relax my body is always on full power a continuous flight or fight mode without a break for 11 months. and the worst thing ever is sometimes I'm so exhausted that I can barely move then I'm sitting somewhere and then something hard to explain. I fall like in a trance my eyes fall to it the body they go back I sometimes see pictures half open eyes closed like daydreams I often did not know have eyes closed or were they open. 1 second later I do not remember the picture and I see again with my eyes open. I ´ve also have that for 11 Month. and my biggest justified fear is that I'll never get rid of it and get stuck in a Daydream or psychosis. When I consciously close my eyes during the day, my stomach immediately contracts and I get scared. I have read a lot and also posted in the German forum. So now I know a lot about these devil stuff and about cortisol, histamine and also the paroxetine which is probably the worst ssri. Meanwhile, I have a theory why I am in a state of emergency. Of course, when I reduced last year, I was way too fast and my nervous system has gone into the absolute alarm mode. then I dosed in much too late and went up too far again. meanwhile I do not tolerate the Paroxetine anymore and it does not work anymore so I'm still hanging in the withdrawal last year. In addition, I probably have many side effects due to intolerance my body actually does not want the paroxetine anymore. if I reduce now come the next withdrawal symptoms of one and the same drug. and the Dominal does not really help me, at least I do not notice any tiredness even an hour after taking it. my nervous system is just too irritated. I read a part of the story of altostrata at the beginning of the German forum and was shocked since then I cannot get it out of my head and I think what if you feel the same way. Paroxetine and insomnia it's the same thing. It has been a daily struggle for survival for a very long time without being able to find peace or relax. My brain is working 24 hours a day. As soon as I try to find peace and quiet during the day, I get scared as if the mind wants to point me to danger. I often describe the condition as if the mind is separate from the body. I feel this often in exhaustion my body wants to rest and relax but the mind does not allow it. actually I know that there is only one way no doctor in the world and no one else can help me there is only one way I have to get rid of the paroxetine and this is probably only with slow reduce. although I feel so bad and it is a daily struggle for survival. I still have few questions and although can I do anything to make my situation bearable its on the edge of ability to live. If necessary, I take 0.5mg Tavor but only every few weeks and it almost does not work. I have many symptoms but the fear of going crazy and sleep is the worst. So, is this the right way to continue stubbornly every 4-6 weeks to reduce 5% -10%, or do I have to continue pausing to try to achieve stability, but i think i can´t reach that? the second question is I have read in some other threats that Altostrata recommends changing from about 5mg paroxetine to prozac. I never heard that. I was thinking of not taking any other SSRI. so I could write much more but now I come to the end and thank you in advance !! Kind regards Arti

Hi there, I'm new to this site but need help! Have had 15 years of AD use, which include a couple of changes due to 'poop outs'. My last change was 9 weeks ago when the 15mg paroxetine that I'd been on for 7 years pooped out. Ended up under crisis team and physchiatrist switched me to 15mg Mirtazapine (straight switch from one day to the next). I had done a similar switch back in 2007 when my lexapro pooped out (tapered down over 2 weeks then switched straight over to the paroxetine). Over the last 6 weeks on Mirtazapine, the physchiatrist titrated me up to 45mg as I was in a bad state. 45mg WAY too high for me and caused akathisia, so he dropped me back to 30mg (after 3 weeks on 45mg). Akathisia better, but still lingering, so he wants to drop me down to 22.5mg. What do I do... I need this akathisia to stop ASAP, so a drawn out taper seems like far too long to wait! But I'm sure my body is in crisis from the med switch and titrating up then quick drop back down. Also used benzos over 4 weeks during switch, and titrated off them. Am I better to put up with the akathisia and do a slow taper? He thinks that drop percentage is fine (25%), but after reading this site combined with the weird experiences I'm having I'm too scared (so I'll need to enlist the help of a chemical compounding pharmacy) . Am I better to do that drop (25%) to stop the akathisia quickly, or just let my body settle down? Do 10% in another 2 weeks time (so that will be 4 weeks after my drop from 45mg to 30mg). I don't know what to do... I have been under the care of the crisis team and been going along with the plan, but can't help but feel these side effects are worse than having no treatment! I'm only 43 with a beautiful husband and son, but I'm scared that I've screwed my poor body up for life. I need advice, and stories of hope (and of easy withdrawls, not just horror stories, to give me hope). P. S Could my akathisia actually be paroxetine withdrawls even though I went straight onto another med?

Hello. I have been on antidepressants since the late 1980’s. My first, for severe panic and anxiety, was Nardil. I was switched after three or so years to Paxil. Paxil gave me a movement disorder so I was then changed to Effexor around 1992 and Bupropion was added around 2000. On was on those two for the next eighteen years. In November of 2018 I thought I was starting to have movement disorder symptoms again which frightened me so much that I discontinued both medications abruptly, unaware of the consequences (Effexor 150 mg, Bupropion 100mg). This (Neurologist now calling it a severe Akathisia) went on for five months with no reinstatement of antidepressants during which time I also quit drinking alcohol thinking it might be a contributing factor. The movements resolved and stopped completely in April 2019. However, I then developed dizziness that is more of a swaying and am still suffering with this 14 months later. Some days it can be quite debilitating. As you can well assume, I have had everything tested medically and all are negative for anything that could be a cause or a concern. I still wonder if this is withdrawal, if there is anything I could do or try and if I will still heal? Oh, and I am 63. Thank you for reading. Any feedback is greatly welcome.

Anybody had any experience with this controversial therapy, good or bad?

Once upon a time , in a land far, far away lived a little girl called Fresh. She lived with her mummy and daddy and big sister and their dog. She was bright , sensitive , creative , a gymnast. Her parents were well meaning (if not a little dysfunctional) and Fresh had a stable life and opportunities to try many different things. Her teen years were challenging , but Fresh finished high school and went on to complete a university degree. At the end of university , Fresh felt lost. She had broken up with her long-term boyfriend , had no permanent employment or income , was applying for jobs and living in a friend's spare room. Her doctor suggested she had a depressive illness and should try an antidepressant. This was a terrific solution! Fresh felt a lot better very quickly , and continued her career path and her journey as a young woman. Fast forward twenty-five years , and Fresh was a mess (see my sig.) (yes , I am Fresh ). In September 2012 , I decided to start tapering from 120mg of Cymbalta. I intended to go from 120mg to 90mg , i.e. one 60mg tab. and one 30mg tab. After a week or so at 90mg , I accidentally forgot to put the 60mg tabs out for a few weeks , and realized later I had been taking only 30mg. I wasn't in a good space at all. But I figured I had been through the worst of it , so I'd just stay on 30mg. Bad idea. I started seeing Dr. Lucire in March 2014. I followed her advice and continued tapering at 2mg per week over 12 weeks. My last dose of Cymbalta was July 21 , 2014. This first video was taken six months after my last dose , the first time the akathisia hit me like a mack truck. http://youtu.be/0_1e0BIQVyc The second video was taken around seven weeks after the first. I like to call it "Akathisia 101". http://youtu.be/4H-oYvsjA1A I stuck it out until May at home. I had been housebound and terrified for months , and believed I could never get better from this , this is how I would be for the rest of my life. These days I'm happy to say I survived that experience , and am doing pretty well.

I came across this. It is wonderful. http://psychrights.org/articles/newdrugsnewproblems.htm

I made this account last year but for some reason I could never get this intro done or participate here until now. If I disappear ever, don't worry too much about me as I guess I'm just mentally incapable of following through with things or keeping in contact (maybe this is another withdrawal symptom... I don't know, my brain is ***** up right now) My (very abbreviated) history... In 2012 I was first prescribed Abilify to supplement my antidepressant. In September 2019 a new psychiatrist recommended I go off of it because of the risk of tardive dyskinesia. Two weeks after my last dose of Abilify, the akathisia hit me like a truck. I thought it was "restless legs but all over". I slept maybe two hours every OTHER night. After two weeks of this torture, I finally went to the doctor and asked her to help me with my "restless legs" and she prescribed carbidopa/levodopa, which didn't really work well, so then she prescribed Mirapex. It helped at the minimum dose, but not enough, so she increased the dose to 0.25mg, which is what I'm at today. In early 2020, the Mirapex caused a months long manic episode, after no prior history of mania, that I wasn't even aware was happening. In the midst of this, I was obsessed with figuring out what happened to me because restless legs didn't really seem to fit. Finally found akathisia, and presented this to my psychiatrist and she agreed with me about the diagnosis. She seemed doubtful that the mania was caused by Mirapex even though she had no alternative explanation, I'd never had mania before, and if you google medication-induced mania Mirapex is right there near the top of the list. Obviously I still think it was the Mirapex. The Mirapex never really took care of the akathisia completely, so since the beginning of this year I've been using medical cannabis to help because it helps me sleep through the breakthrough akathisia at night, and it does help a little at keeping it away too. The past two years have been miserable. I feel like my mind hasn't been the same since. I can't focus, I can't get anything done, I can't properly socialize... I'm just not the same. I've since attempted to taper both sertraline (my antidepressant) and Adderall, though I did it mostly at the advice of my psychiatrist. She never agrees with me about how slowly I want to taper, and I probably should have tapered the sertraline and Adderall WAY more slowly. Currently... I'm down to one medication now (plus cannabis). At my last appointment with my psychiatrist, I requested to start tapering Mirapex. She agreed and told me to take one and a half pills (instead of my normal dose of two). I proposed the slower way by using liquid but she said that the full dose is so tiny already that half a pill should do nothing to me. I knew she was wrong but I don't really have much fight in me, so tried it. Of course, that was way too large of a jump and I can't sleep now the akathisia is so bad. I don't know if this counts as withdrawal from Mirapex itself, or if the akathisia is just coming back because I'm reducing the medication that's keeping the akathisia away. I don't want Mirapex anymore because I think it's still messing with my brain (even though I'm not longer manic), which she doesn't believe it is either. Maybe my brain is just broken from the Abilify, sertraline, and Adderall still. I just want to be me again. I'm going to be trying the 10% reduction per month with Mirapex. Hopefully my psychiatrist agrees but if she doesn't I'm just going to ask for my original dose back and do it anyway. Any and all advice is super appreciated. I have no idea what's the withdrawal and what's just me and my stupid nervous system anymore, but here's what I'm concerned about right now: akathisia the (probably) inevitability of Mirapex augmentation my executive function is approximately at zero right now I'm really depressed I want to keep up with/help my family more and actually be able to work/do my job and honestly just keep up with daily life like caring properly for my pets and not living in the most cluttered non-hoarder apartment you've ever seen. I feel like I'm missing a bunch of stuff because I feel absolutely awful and the explanation above doesn't feel like it properly describes that but oh well... Questions (In no particular order) If you're familiar with Mirapex, is the 10% per month thing the right way to go? Is there any hope that I'll be able to get off of Mirapex completely? Do you have any self-care tips to make this easier on myself and my body? Are there any supplements I should add to my routine that could help? Any tests for deficiencies that I should get just to make sure I'm not low on something? Would starting to exercise help me or just add more chaos to my system? I'll probably have more questions later but it's still hard to think so I guess I'll leave this for now

Hi, my name is Aember and I have had severe negative reactions to SSRIs after very fee doses. I have been sick since January 2020 with a mystery degenerative neurological condition that is affecting my ability to think and feel. I am experiencing progressive dementia and confusion. Here is my story: Have had mystery neurological illness since Jan 2020, started with delirium, a flu and then a gastrointestinal flu that woke me up with a pounding heart and nocturnal defecation for months and body temp above 99 -101F. Sleep became interrupted with very vivid dreams and bizarre hypnagogic states. Started hypersalivating. Vision became altered, blurry at distance, slightly photosensitive. Extreme fatigue and bed in early evening, sleeping in and off until noon. Increased red pinpoint angiomas developing all over my body. Gradually became anhedonic in March 2020, unable to laugh or cry. Confusion and anxiety increased. Was put on Seroquel 25 mg end of March 2020, immediately had some involuntary movement so stopped after 1 dose. Switched to Trazodone 2 days later and had an extreme Akathesia episode with involuntary movement, was up for 24 hours pacing and raging internally. The next week was put on Citalopram 10mg for 2 days, immediately got dyskinesia (pill rolling, teeth grinding, twitching, teeth licking, bunny nose) with compulsive behaviour, vision became blurrier and developed horizontal double vision halos, perception of time sped up, switched to 5mg Escitalopram for 1 day, started muscle twitching, became flushed, feverish could not sleep (serotonin syndome?), next day became psychotic and babbling, compulsive, bit myself, could not walk. Hospitalized April 2020, put on respiridone 0.125 upped to 0.25 for 2 weeks. Felt weird hot icy burning in chest and esophagus upon initiating, had issues swallowing, voice got raspier, experienced increased hunger, constant fatigue and sedation, dry skin some teeth grinding and muscle tension on and off, vision worsened further (my left eye is now -1 and blurry, was perfect in December 2019), increased constipation, little change in anxiety, increased social compulsiveness (speaking without thinking). Started lactating. Quit April 29 after tapering to 0.125 mg for 3 days. Since then, I had episodes of dyskinesia and teeth grinding, bunny nosing, cramping in hands and feet, but it's gradually lessening as my body adapts to being antipsychotic free. I am still in a confused state (feel like I am about to pass out, cannot focus) with abnormal sleep emotions (cannot feel happy, cannot work) and decreased intellect (issues with spelling, time perception, planning, focus and my degenerative neurological condition persists as well as the hypersalivation and weakness. I am in bed all day.

So this is kind of a long and winding story but I really need advice and am not feeling good at all. I have taken Zoloft over the course of approximately the last 15 years. I have only ever taken Zoloft up until this most recent episode. I slowly weened off Zoloft the last time over the course of a year or longer to very tiny doses. Started to feel what I thought was relapse but now looking back was probably withdrawal in July 2020. Restarted Zoloft very small dose on 7/27/2020 and gradually raised to 75mg. Did 75 mg for a week then went back down to 50mg due to adverse reaction where I was for a few weeks then rapidly went down to 25 mg then 12.5 mg over the course of a couple days. Stopped pretty much C/T due to adverse reaction. Got what I know now to be most likely akathisia and Dystonia. From almost the first dose I was up pacing almost all night and day along with what felt to be an allergic reaction severe head and neck pressure, hard time swallowing, jerking out of sleep, felt like I couldn’t move my eyes. Very weird symptoms. I thought well maybe these are just start up side effects but soon realized something wasn’t rightAnd had never felt this before. But at the time I thought I was going crazy so I went to a psychiatrist and they gave me Topamax 25 mg because he thought I was manic even though I have never had any episodes. I took two doses and felt worse so stopped. That was about the same time I quit the Zoloft from 50mg to 12.5mg in a few days. Then I felt even worse the akathisia was even worse so I went to a mental hospital and checked myself inpatient (even though I had never been to a mental hospital before). They prescribed Lexapro 10mg and Risperidone .5mg and 1mg. I only took one dose of 10 mg Lexapro and two doses of Risperidone .5mg and one dose of 1mg all of which made me feel 10x worse. I left the hospital and they said you have akathisia and It will go away sent me home with propranolol and Benadryl each of which I took for about 7-10 days and it didn’t help and only made me feel worse. I was desperate to relieve the feeling so I contacted the psychiatrist and told them that what they gave me at the hospital wasn’t working so they prescribed benztropine. Which I only took for 3 days and didn’t help and made me feel worse. I let the doctor know again and she prescribed mirtazipine and Klonopin. I was too scared to try the mirtazipine since it is an antidepressant but I tried one dose of Klonopin .5mg and it helped a little but I still felt bad. I have also tried several supplements over the course of this time period to help but nothing has. So now I feel like I had an adverse reaction to Zoloft and probably all the other meds and I’m in withdrawal on top of it. I’m scared to try and reinstate the Zoloft since I had such a bad reaction to it which I am still having but I feel like everything is now 10x worse with withdrawal symptoms as well. I am currently not taking anything. The worst of my symptoms are: Severe muscle tightness especially in head and neck (before and after Zoloft) Pressure in head especially forehead (before and after Zoloft) Eyeballs feel like they are rapidly twitching every few minutes (after stopping Zoloft) Around and evening behind eyeballs feel itchy and tingly (after stopping Zoloft) Eyes And eyelids red and itchy (after stopping Zoloft) Pacing nonstop (before and more after Zoloft) Urge to move constantly creepy crawly feeling/electrical sensations (started with Zoloft but getting worse) Muscle pain (mostly after stopping Zoloft) Trouble swallowing (before and after Zoloft) Roof of mouth itches and ears feel full (before and after Zoloft) Chest tingly (after Zoloft) Very tight muscles on the side of neck (before and after Zoloft) Very disoriented and out of it (Before and afternoon zoloft) Spaced out feeling (before and after Zoloft) Feel like memory is gone (before and especially after Zoloft) Cant concentrate (before and especially after Zoloft) Electric zap sensation in my face when falling asleep (Got brain zaps when starting Zoloft but theses sensations feel different after Zoloft) The worst part of it all it the feeling in my eyes. It feels like my actual eyeballs are twitching rapidly every few minutes and they feel itchy and tingly behind and underneath which is really getting to me. The Klonopin helped with some of the other symptoms but doesn’t help with the eye symptoms which is very distressing. It’s like an itch you can’t scratch. Then of course the constant urge to pace and keep moving. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I know this is very long and complicated but I really need some input and advice. I don’t trust the doctors since they don’t even really believe in withdrawal. I thought I would feel better by now since I haven’t taken the Zoloft for over a month but I feel almost worse in a way. I’m afraid to reinstate because I had such a bad reaction but I feel like I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place because I had an adverse reaction but I seem to also be in withdrawals. I feel like I would have been better off never reinstating the Zoloft back in July. This is a nightmare. Im afraid it will never end! I have been reading the forums here for the last couple months and I just decided I need help. So that’s why I am finally posting. I have read a lot of horror stories on here of people who have this 5, 7, 20 years out. I am so scared. I know everyone is different but I’m still very scared! Any advice would be very much appreciated.

Hi all, I am new here so I hope I am posting correctly. I recently tapered (quite quickly) from Temazepan. Whilst I was only taking it "as required" and short term (around 6 weeks), I noticed I was having interdose withdrawals so I tapered down over four weeks and jumped off 32 days ago. Thankfully any symptoms so far have been mild and manageable however in and around the interdose withdrawals, my psych put me on to Citalopram as one of my interdose withdrawal symptoms was a middle of the night panic attack so my psych insisted that I needed to medicate for my anxiety. I started Citalopram around 9 weeks ago and for the past 4 weeks I have been tapering off. Whist on them I developed akathisia and my heart rate went quite low (below 60). I went to my psych to explain that I wanted to get off the Citalopram and whilst he was reluctant, he gave me a very short tapering plan of reducing over a few days. I asked about a slow taper however he indicated it wasn't necessary so I decided to do my own taper based on how my body was feeling. Week one I dropped from 20mg to 15mg. Week two I dropped to 10mg, week three I dropped to 5mg and week four I dropped to 2.5mg then I stopped. During the taper I have felt fine. If anything, I have actually felt better as I lowered the dose, I was sleeping well and quite happy on 10mg and 5mg. At 2.5mg I did notice an increase in anxiety and a little less sleep quality however this issue has also been playing on my mind. When I stopped completely, on day two my anxiety levels increased and I had a night of not sleeping and I had a headache (that day I had also taken a neurocalm tablet which may have triggered some symptoms - its a natural supplement with a few ingredients including passionflower). For the past two nights I've had muscle jerks when falling asleep. They are quite full on but last night I was able to get some sleep by relaxing and not worrying about them. I had two nights with no pills and then I took 2.5mg and then I took 5mg last night as I'm feeling confused about whether to push on through withdrawal or whether to stabilise and do a slow taper. I possibly anticipate what the advice will be (reinstate, stabilise over a number of months and then slowly reduce) however I am so driven to get off the drugs all together and start the healing process for my body, especially since I've been on them a reasonably short amount of time. I want to get off these pills as soon as possible but my health is obviously my number one priority along with caring for my two young children and maintaining my job. I have a lot of support from my employer and from my family. I've had many friends and family who have gone on and off similar ADs with no issues at all which makes it confusing as I'm tempted to give it a go and see if I can have some success also. I often wonder if at times, taking a slow approach is dragging out the process and whether at this stage in time given my relatively low current dose and the fact that I have not been on them for more than 3 months total (including tapering) whether I should go faster and see what the withdrawals are like over a month and if its unbearable then reinstate? What would be your thoughts on this approach. I currently take a probiotic, fish oil each day, vitamin c and ginko biloba. I dont have any caffeine, alcohol or any other drugs and I eat very clean with low gluten and low dairy. I have a naturopath appointment in two weeks time to get a diet plan and potentially suppements. I thank you in advance for any guidance you are able to offer me.

reinstating Celexa after 7 weeks(3 days good, now not doing well at all) Hi. I am a 50 year old male who began taking antidepressants for depression and anxiety 20 years ago. From 2000 to about 2005 I was given paxil(I lasted 2 days, pure poison), zoloft and effexor xr...but I never really took them regularly. There were no issues stopping since I took them intermittently and not for very long, I also had no idea back then that they were so toxic and damaging ...until around 2006 when I was put on 20mg of celexa, which I remained on until trying to get off in 2019. Honestly, it didn't do anything good or bad. I now wish they had just given me a sugar pill. A few years before this I became aware of Dr. Breggin and others, and began researching the dangers of ssri's and other drugs. The thought of the possibility of permanent brain damage and incurable tardive dyskinisia to name only a few bad outcomes, terrified me. I also found this forum which I have lurked on for a long time, but clearly, did not study enough as I have made many mistakes in trying to taper way too fast. During one of my first encounters with withdrawal I ran to my doctor in a manic state of anxiety and abject panic, who appeared baffled. He asked why I was doing this and I told him I didn't like being on the meds anymore. He shrugged his shoulders and said "you should be able to just quit. Celexa is such a mild drug. I've never heard of anyone having a problem. You must be very sensitive." I of course knew I was being lied to. He was either that stupid or just a shill for pharma poison pushers. He also tried to convince me that I was bi polar and prescribed depakote for my "mania". I rejected it as I had the year before when he tried the same thing due to really bad work related anxiety. In January of 2020 I was in a bad state. I was still on celexa(10mg by this time) I went to a therapist in desperation, who reiterated the lie of "chemical imbalances" when the subject of my stance on psych meds was brought up. Being that the office was in a hospital, she talked me into going to the ER with her. I was not suicidal but admitted that I thought about dying a lot...but had no plans. Fast forward six humiliating hours on an ER gurney fielding questions from smirking, condescending "doctors" and "mental health professionals". Another blow to my confidence in seeking help from the medical community. Foolishly, I went back to this therapist a few weeks later. Again drugs came up. She coerced me into seeing the nurse practitioner/resident pill pusher. I did. She puts me on Wellbutrin(don't know the dose as I didn't stay on it and threw the bottle out) and she tells me to just quit celexa. "Shouldn't be a problem" she said. My reaction to wellbutrin was adverse and immediate. I felt drugged/roofied/drunk also really irritable. And as the days went on (9 of them) I am also unknowingly(but highly suspecting) in celexa withdrawal too. I came back for the followup and she was as baffled as my PCP. "You shouldn't have had that reaction!" As she's furiously turning pages in her pharma poison catalogue of horrors. "I don't think you were in withdrawal from the celexa...that just doesn't happen." I live in a relatively small town but surely these people must know that this can and does happen to a far too wide percentage of the population. It's criminal not to know. I am convinced these people are evil. Anyways, she tried to polydrug me after that, even though I'm clearly in withdrawal and she notes my inability to even stand or get up without her assistance, in addition to what are probably overlapping symptoms of wellbutrin poisoning. Her response is to dump THREE more drugs on me! One was remeron , the other lamictal, and the third I have no idea because at that point I'm not even listening to this lady any more and I'm vowing in my mind to never come back! What prompts me to join though is my current crisis. After many foolish attempts(I should have studied the forum more) to stop celexa, I finally did on September 13 after a 5 month taper. I thought I had finally done it! In retrospect there were signs back in october and november but were masked by an almost 4 month bout of sciatica which distracted me. I began feeling nervous Monday December 7th 2020. Took longer than normal to get to sleep but no big deal. I woke up fine on Tuesday. Around 3 p.m. I started feeling really weird. High anxiety and feeling jittery/restless. By 5 p.m. this jittery almost electrical current was kind of in my groin radiating down into my right leg. I also feel cortisol shooting through my body like a fire hose, I'm sweating and I'm panicking. I deduce that I must have "restless leg syndrome". And I must have it because this is happening in the same leg as the sciatica(which is gone now). I have no idea at this time and in this state of mind that I am in withdrawal from celexa. Tuesday night was a night of hell as I was up all night, pacing, panicking, panicking that I'm panicking thus inducing more panic, I shower, I walk and march in place, I even go outside and walk briskly at about 3:30 a.m. After 4 hours of "sleep" I woke up, but intense anxiety gripped me...and the "restless leg" is back soon after, only it's not RLS, I am experiencing akathisia, and then I realize I am in celexa withdrawal 7 weeks after stopping. So Wednesday December 9th, frightened, I took 20mg of celexa around 2;20 p.m. Relief came as expected within 4 hours and within 6 to 8 hours I felt as "ok" as possible. I now know though, that I potentially made a huge mistake reinstating at 20mg, because I now know that as the forum recommends, you should reinstate with only the smallest possible dose after such a long period of cessation. Further, I may have made an error by deciding to just stay at 20mg, which I did for Thursday, Friday and Saturday as well. Problem is, I felt good Thursday and Friday, but Saturday night I became a little jittery, nervous, etc. I had insomnia. The akathisia feeling I had in my leg is slightly there, which is causing me to panic and stress thinking it might come back..bringing me to today in which I awoke and soon experienced the most intense anxiety and panic that I've ever felt, my mind spiraling and catastrophizing, elevated heart rate, literally the feeling of going completely out of my mind. I have not taken celexa today, because I am scared I will choose the wrong dose. Stay the course of 20mg, go down to 10, 5, 2.5??? I can only create this account and write this post because I took 4 grams of kratom(which I do not recommend or endorse, as it is different for everyone) this afternoon which has calmed me to the point of at least being able to focus on writing this...which is probably helping as well(not to mention the act of reaching out) I am really terrified that reinstatement at any dose may no longer be possible, and I am at such a loss as to what I should do.

This painful journey started when i was 21 years old... I was addicted to Cannabis, had a difficult adolescence and all i needed was help to stop using drugs, my hormones checked, and therapy. I know that now. After a bad break up due to my addiction and mental health i was put on Citalopram. I was still smoking Cannabis chronically every day, and as i was showing little improvement they increased my dosage to 40mg after nearly 2 years on them. It made me manic, indifferent, and dangerously wreckless. I crashed my car at 100 mph having woken up late for work far too many times due to how drowsy i always was on the meds, and i was driving as if i was possessed. I survived an operation to fix a bleed on my brain. However in hospital they stopped the Citalopram dead. They never even mentioned it, and i couldnt remember and it obviously wasn't of a concern at all to them. 6 months after i went back to the doctors with a feeling of something missing from myself. I'd gone back to Cannabis after my accident for the same reason, something was missing and i felt so weird like everything i used to enjoy just meant nothing to me. Like id lost my soul, and i needed to feel happier. Not the long term answer. So they put me on Duloextine (cymbalta). Never discussed the side effects, withdrawl, possible permanent damage, effectiveness of these drugs ever, it wasnt once mentioned. Just that they woulld make me feel better, I had a chemical imbalance that needed to be fixed. So they parked me on them for 8 years ignoring all my worries over things i was experiencing whilst on the medication. Every concern was met with them upping my dosage. It didnt stop me smoking Cannabis infact it only compounded my addiciton, as the meds gave me what i now know as Akathesia and the only thing that helped was smoking Cannabis. The only time i was anywhere close to being content whilst on the medication was when i smoked. I finally decided i didn't want to be on the medication anymore, i went to the doctor and said that i wanted to see how id feel without them, and my GP said to simply reduce the tablets over 2 weeks. I was on 90mg of Duloxetine (cymbalta) at the time. I never realised the seriousness of not properly tapering, and being told to do so over such a short period of time was clearly detimental. Especially after 10 years of medication. It's been 3 years since my last dose. I don't speak to my friends, all desire has gone. My anxiety is through the roof, i'm never calm. I have no real life. I'm even finding work near impossible. The cannabis turned on me as well when i stopped talking the Duloxetine (cymbalta) , the withdrawl i think has been a big reason for that, but i decided to try and stop smoking. Never made me feel like that before i was put on antidepressants but it was making me worse at the time. I am now left pathogically anxious alot of the time, like i said no desire to do anything, all my loves, my hopes, my dreams have died. I was never this bad before i started taking meds. I don't know who i am without them but i dont want to be on medication, certainly cant accept being on them for life to regain some normality. I've been praying that time would heal me but it appears it has done nothing to help. My question to the community I've been struggling with whether to go back on them at a low dose. But i'm scared, and i didn't want them in the first place, i've gone 3 years, but it's not been a happy time. I dont want to have to go through any elevated Akathesia again, or be left with more permanent side effects by going back on them at all. My family and girlfriend don't want me to take them again. I'm being pulled every which way. But i can't stay this way I've waited over 18 months so far for therapy with a Neuro Phyiatrist and the NHS still havent approved it. I don't know if it will even help... - Should i talk to my doctor about going on a very low dose of my previous meds? Or has it been too long now? - Should i entertain taking these sketchy things ever again? I would really appreciate the communties advice. The only other thing i have left to try is looking down the route of thinking my testosterone has always been an issue. But most doctors in the UK dont subscribe to it but i haven't totally given up on the thought of trialling TRT to see if it makes a differnence. I've had a blood test my serum levels are considered normal however guidleines are vitally flawed, and i have had no idea what they were before i started taking Anti-Depressants) but i have high SHBG which means my free testosterone is very low. But doctors won't offer any diagnosis or solution to that issue. Has anyone had any experience or success with this? Many Thanks ❤️