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Hey guys just joined, after a long 3 year taper from benzos I have finally been benzo free for over a year. And I now want to try and taper my celexa that I have been taking for over 8 years. I have a few questions tho, if anyone could help me. Does anyone feel better during their taper? For instance with benzos I was stuck in horrible benzo WD tolerance, and I started actually feeling better during my micro taper. Was curious if anyone actually feels better during their slow taper. I was planning on tapering 5 % a month. Another question I have is switching from pill to liquid form celexa, is it pretty easy to do? Because with benzos I wasn’t able to switch pill to liquid or even change drug manufactures. I am very sensitive. Thank you all I’m excited to start this long slow process.

Any tardive akathisia success stories? Thought this might be a really nice post of hope for a condition that is usually seen as very hopeless. 🙂 I've seen a few people successfully heal from acute akathesia by changing their dosage etc. But was wondering if there was any success stories on tardive or withdrawal akathesia, especially for those who aren't even on meds anymore? Also if anyone has been in a similar position as me - I haven't been on any drugs since 2018, but I smoked weed for a few days in June 2021, then I was suddenly hit with akathesia 3 months later (I've never even had akathesia before).

Hi, I am Kostas from Athens Greece, and I would like to post my story. After suffering a burn out in my demanded post at work, not been able to eat, sleep, exhausted and non functional, was prescribed 20 mg citalopram. Started 10 mg for 1 week, and then 20. Side effects few and tolerable for 3 weeks, and then dramatic improvement and completely functional in week 8. Got them for 9 months, June 1994-march 1995. Then 10 mg for a month 5 for 2 months and off. Start relapsing after 2 months, and reinstated August 1995. 10 mg 1 week and then 20, August 95- August 96 Then tapering 6 months and off Feb 97. Very well till October 99, then relapse and reinstated 20 mg January 2000. On the drug Jan 00- September 01, Tapering 6 months, and off from March 02. Another relapse on October 03,and another reinstatement 20 mg, from October 03- October 05 Then, very slow tapering for 7 years October 05- October 12. 10mg 2006, 5 2007,2.5 2008, 2 2009, 1 2010, 0.5 2011, 0.25 2012. Off the drug from Oct 2012 till today. WD symptoms although not thought so back then, Nov 2012 slight tinnitus, till today June 2013, frequent urination and nocturia, much improved now. 2014 muscle tightness, and tired. Not too bad, but deterioration during stress. This continues on and off till today but have adjusted. June 2015 palpitations and arythmia for one month, and gone by then. October 2016,pain in the legs and shawder for a 2 months. April 2017, slight insomnia, agitation, tiredness, pain in the muscles and weak legs, agrivaded all symptoms under stress. Waves and windows till beginning of August, and improving now. Decided to try not to reinstate, since I am relatively functional 70%, but not happy with the situation! Any advice welcome!

KittenLePurr, here. Thank you so much for maintaining this site and for welcoming me here❤️ I was put on psych meds as a child, at age 12. I'm still working through a lot of anger around that. My parents did the best they could but, you know, they were traumatized by their parents, who were traumatized by their parents, etc., and they were all taught to blindly trust doctors and to essentially live in fear of their bodies. Thanks, Western medicine. Anyway, so, as a highly sensitive child who felt deeply depressed and uncomfortable in the world, I presented quite a set of challenges to my parents. I had a month-and-a-half-long period at age 11, so my mom took me to an OBGYN who did no tests or anything to see what was up with my hormones; she just wrote me a prescription for birth control. 🙄 My mom was concerned about that but gave it to me. I became even more depressed after that and, when I was 12, told my mom I thought I needed help. She took me to a counselor who suggested I see a psychiatrist, who wrote me a prescription for Zoloft. Oh, and talk therapy. The gold standard of care. Zoloft and therapy didn't seem to help, so I was then put on Prozac...and then, on a whole host of other meds. I took a jumbled handful of different cocktails I can’t even remember, including Effexor, Wellbutrin, Trazadone, Remeron, and a number of mood stabilizers. It was a rollercoaster on top of the hormonal rollercoaster I was already on, being a preteen on birth control. At age 13, things felt increasingly bleak, as I was having issues with my friends at school and felt unloved and completely hopeless, and I decided it was time to end it. I took as many pills from the medicine cabinet as I could without throwing up and lay down in my bed, waiting to die. But it took too long; I got impatient and decided maybe I didn’t really want to die...not if it meant lying there, excruciatingly nauseated. So when my dad got home, I told him I needed to go to the hospital and they pumped my stomach. The pills I'd taken the most of were Effexor leftover from my brief stint on it months prior. I thought I was going to throw up the charcoal until a social worker put a cool washcloth on my forehead, and the nausea passed and I felt this giant wave of relief and joy from still being alive. I told my psychiatrist about that, and she took that to mean Effexor was a good med for me. So I went back on it and stabilized on Remeron, and over the next few years, things did get a little better. Meaning we were sort of managing my depression. But I was still deeply, deeply troubled. I was attracted to drugs and alcohol because I was so depressed and uncomfortable in my own skin and altered states felt better to me. I was on a constant quest to find the best and most complete escape from the pain of normal, everyday life and started partying and skipping school to smoke pot and take drugs. I was diagnosed with ADHD and prescribed Adderall, which gave me horrible side effects but also appeased my longing to escape sobriety, so I took more and more of it. Up to 120mg a day. I flunked out of public school and my parents sent me to private school, at which point I finally chilled out on the partying and graduated. I was managing my symptoms a little better. In college, I had a serious boyfriend who pointed out it was not normal for a girl like me to have such severe sexual dysfunction. I’d never been told anything about that by my doctor or even realized it was abnormal, and when I found it was a common side effect of antidepressants, I was outraged and decided to stop taking my antidepressants, cold turkey, between doctor’s visits. I’d never heard of withdrawal symptoms. But I didn’t experience any! Different biology?? I don’t know. When I told my doc I’d stopped taking the meds, she was pretty surprised that I seemed okay. This was the most stable period of my life. I wasn’t “happy” or even well-adjusted but I was managing, even after I got off the meds. I wonder why my more recent experiences have been so different. I’d developed TMJ my senior year and in college, guzzling Adderall and stressing out, my anxiety and jaw pain got much, much worse. I would have flare-ups where it felt like my jaw muscles were being stabbed with an ice pick. I went to the emergency for a particularly bad episode and asked my psychiatrist if there was anything she recommended. She prescribed lorazepam. I started off only taking that here and there for my jaw but eventually, it became a daily habit for anxiety. Life was just better when I took it. It’s what I’d always been searching for: peace. I vowed never to take antidepressants again but benzos were okay in my book because I had no idea they also came with a slew of negative side effects, and they made a much bigger difference in how I felt. For a while, anyway. Eventually I graduated to Klonipin and was taking 1-2 mg a day, every day, sometimes more. I dropped out of college to pursue a music career and my love of getting inebriated spiraled out of control. During a particularly low point in my life, I started taking pain pills to get through work and got addicted to them. I spent the next few years battling opioid addiction which progressed to heroin addiction. I checked myself into rehab in 2012 and during that month, I was put on Lexapro for depression and Seroquil for sleep. Seroquil made me feel frightened, so I talked to the doctor and he put me on Remeron again. I was like a zombie. And I couldn’t stop eating the junk food they had there. I felt AWFUL. So, as soon as I got out, I stopped taking all the meds. Not sure whether I had withdrawals because, unfortunately, I also relapsed. I battled my addiction a while longer until my beloved boyfriend at the time OD’d and died in front of me. I was obviously crushed and blamed myself. I was more depressed than ever but didn’t want to die, so I entered a methadone maintenance program and stopped doing street drugs. I’m so grateful for that methadone clinic...it saved my life. But the doctor there kept urging me to get back on an antidepressant and I didn’t want to. Because I knew it would only be harder this time. But I still had no other coping skills and had these health professionals telling me I had a chemical imbalance and the only way to fix it was with medication, so I relented. I was on 75mg Effexor and 1.5mg Klonipin. My doc lowered my dose of Klonipin a few times over the next few years; he wanted me to get off of it now that the FDA released a black box warning about cognitive effects. In 2017, I switched from Effexor to 20mg Citalopram, which he thought would help with my anxiety. It didn’t. And she tapered me off the Effexor over the span of about a week and a half...it was brutal! I knew better by that point, too, but I chose to just trust her anyway. I barely slept and the anxiety was incapacitating. It took me a couple of years to connect the dots but Citalopram gave me horrendous brain fog. I’m a writer and musician, and I had a health and wellness blog I really took pride in. Once I was stable on the Citalopram, I stopped feeling able to write or make music entirely. I could barely think straight. For 3 YEARS. And for the first year and a half of that, I thought I was just tired and lazy because my doctor said it wasn’t related. But in 2017, I discovered holistic psychiatrist Kelly Brogan on a podcast and learned the truth about antidepressants and learned I was not the only person whose creativity was stunted by them. I learned game-changing lifestyle practices that actually DID help with depression and anxiety--unlike the meds--and I underwent a huge health transformation and had an awakening around the medical system and society at large. And I got to a place where I felt more centered, joyful, and more MYSELF than I’d ever thought possible. I vowed to get off meds for good--this time, not to just “manage my mental illness” without meds, but to live a full, vibrant, healthy life. I was most eager to get off the things that stifle my creativity, so I microtapered off my remaining 0.35mg Klonipin in Spring of 2020. I got through it using my lifestyle practices--clean eating, meditation, intentional movement, grounding, EFT/tapping and emotional regulating practices/shadow work--and had only a few severe panic attacks. The brain fog was INTENSE and I’m so grateful to have been laid off from the lockdown because I could not have worked. I basically lay around all day for months, aside from doing my self-care practices. I tried to move right into tapering Celexa because I want OUT but my body said NOPE just about immediately with severe insomnia, crippling anxiety and even worse brain fog. I’ve been balancing out over the past year and am feeling 9,000,000,000 times better than I was right off of Klonipin. I’m ready to get off of Celexa. I’ve lowered my dose of methadone over the past several years, too, and I’m at half my original dose. I know this isn’t a forum for that but it’s part of my journey...and getting off an opioid is no walk in the park but I’m honestly concerned that this Celexa taper is going to be even harder. That’s why I signed up here. I’m currently at 14.35 mg; my original dose was 20mg. I don’t really know what to expect (aside from anxiety and sleep disturbances) but I know I’m going to need support. Figuring out the math to do each cut feels really difficult. My brain fog is still really thick. I’m honestly disappointed it hasn’t improved more by now, having been off Klonipin for almost a year. I’m taking lion’s mane mushrooms, which definitely help but it’s still a challenge. I’m still unemployed and have been hesitant to cut my dose because I keep expecting to lose my unemployment and have to be able to perform, create, be productive, etc. I don’t feel comfortable going to a workplace with what’s going on out there now, so I started learning copywriting last year during lockdown and was planning to start a freelancing business but kept going back and forth between prioritizing that and my healing. I couldn’t write during Klonipin withdrawal; I don’t know if I’ll be able to during this taper. I have so much fear around this. I’m doing a lot of inner work, a course called Core Wound Healing and lots of shadow work, which I know will help me through this. Still, it’s difficult. So much fear! But since I only have 1 ongoing freelance client and it’s really easy work, I’m back to prioritizing my healing, and I cut my dose by 10% this morning. I’m just telling myself “I got this” over and over. Going to see how I feel in a few days, a week, 2 weeks. And I’ll go from there. Thank you so much if you made it to this point!! I know this was a novel!! (I'm a writer...I edited this about 10 times but brevity isn't one of my strong suits😬)

Its only been a week since I started to tapper from 75mg Effexor-xr; am reducing 10% by removing 10 beads at at time. Only problem my memory generally is really bad. So I got a system going blue plastic container so I could see the tiny white beads; a small glass bottle to contain the unused beads. I take my tablet at night. I have just realised this morning that I have missed a capsule. I am shocked. So my question is what do you do when you realise you've missed a dose? Do you just keep on track and be aware that there might be a reaction ? (at some point?) and just keep going, maybe add a few more days to the end before tappering again? Thanks!!!!!

Hello I suffered some anxiety from my surgery complication that occurred on July 7, 2022. I was taking Ativan as needed for the developed anxiety. In September 2022 I experienced three panic attacks and was prescribed more frequent dosages of Ativan. I was trying to return to work but too sleepy due to the Ativan and anxiety was still very high. my surgeon suggested I have my general practitioner prescribe some type of anti-anxiety SSRI to take the place of the Ativan so that I was not so sleepy during the day and could return to work. I was prescribed gabapentin for nerve pain in August after my surgery. At one point I was up to 1200 mg a day. I reduced that dosage slowly down to 300 for several weeks until my doctor recently told me to try to get off that as quickly as possible so I have been reducing that over the past two weeks and taking 100 mg a day as of today . I was Prescribed Celexa 20mg for anxiety in Nov 2022. I have repeatedly Stopped and started Celexa back to 10 mg trying to taper off ever since then. The more I read about celexa the more I didn’t want to be on it right after it was prescribed. It was actually a girlfriend who suggested I ask my doctor for it as she had been taking it. (Also Sometime in January I noticed mild rash on stomach and Doctor said he could barely see it and didn’t think anything about about it). Every taper and episode of reduction has been sanctioned by my general practitioner. I was Told by my doctor a few weeks ago I could take 10 mg every few days and developed debilitating nausea and headaches and insomnia. The last dosage I was taking consistently for a few weeks was 10 mg before I started taking every four days. Seven days ago I reinstated at 5 mg every day per my doctor upon my request. My doctor says that it’s not the Celexa that is causing the side effects it is the re-introduction of anxiety side effects. I explain to him that I never experienced nausea this entire time I’ve had anxiety. Anxiety and nausea and insomnia have improved over the days, however, still experiencing some nausea, some insomnia and periods of just not feeling good. Slight itching here and there still and also tinnitus returned. I was wondering if it’s too late to reinstate at a lower dose as advised on this website? I was not aware to try to return to very small doses, so I just decided to dose down to 5 mg after asking my Dr, he said I could try that dose. No real leader ship from him. I just would like to know if it’s too late to try even a smaller dose as a reinstatement or is seven days into this reinstatement too late?

I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.

Hello, I am very grateful to have found this website and the large amount of knowledge which I have been busy reading and learning but I still have many questions. Some background information; I was prescribed citalopram at a dose of 20 mg in 2020 for an adverse reaction to a medication which was misdiagnosed as depression. Soon after I started citalopram I developed what I think was hypomania but this was not linked to the medication and I lived my life spending too much, very impulsive and hyperactive for several years destroying my relationships in the process. I also gained weight and had various physical symptoms e.g. my stomach. Citalopram had no benefit on my mental health and in fact it made me feel worse. It actually seemed that the longer I stayed on citalopram the worse I became. All of these problems were blamed on a mental illness or medical disorder. At one point the dose of citalopram was doubled from 20 mg to 40 mg but after a week or so I became so emotionally disturbed the doctor had to lower it back to 20 mg. In November 2023 I joined the dots, I realised I needed to take action. Long story short I was given a very quick taper over about a week which I could not tolerate. I became acutely paranoid and dangerously agitated and suicidal with strong urges to destroy property and much more. So I saw my psychiatrist as an emergency and he reinstated me on citalopram again for me to taper off. I reinstated to 10 mg which made all of my withdrawal symptoms go away within a matter of hours. Unfortunately at this dose my baseline side effects before withdrawal of feeling hypomanic and extreme compulsive spending came back so I was soon forced to lower the dose to find a happy medium between side effects and withdrawal symptoms. I lowered the dose to where I felt most stable and this dose is 5 mg. In the middle of December I made a bad decision — as I was not fully stable on 5 mg per day (in two divided doses) — and tried reducing my dose to 3.75 mg citalopram but I developed very strong anxiety and after 10 days I was hit by acute severe depression which forced me to increase my dose in small steps to 7.5 mg citalopram around the start of January for 6 weeks to stabilise. I realise with hindsight I was not ready to reduce my dose to 3.75 mg as I still was very irritable, grumpy and had not stabilised. Unfortunately, I was forced a few weeks ago to reduce back to 5 mg due to hypomanic symptoms of feeling high and spending money uncontrollably on 7.5 mg. I have read on this website that after a big reduction in dose or reinstatement it is best to wait perhaps several months to stabilise as much as possible before reducing. I am thinking of waiting another couple of months (or longer?) and then spend 6 months or even longer (listening to my body) to wean off the final 5 mg of citalopram. I am thinking of taking about a year in total (I started my process of reducing, albeit rapidly, in October 2023) to come off citalopram completely but keeping the option of being flexible based on how I respond to reductions — does this sound sensible? I take it twice a day (2.5 mg morning and 2.5 mg at night) as I found I am more sensitive on the lower doses to the drug wearing off. I do feel I am slowly stabilising as time goes on but still have periods of increased anxiety at least once per day, I am eating and sleeping better although a few days ago my appetite and sleep was not good for a couple of days which makes me worry I am going to experienced delayed withdrawal symptoms, hopefully just a bad couple of days. My new psychiatrist supports my decision to come off antidepressants and is allowing me to reduce very slowly at my own rate. She feels antidepressants are unlikely to benefit me as I do not have evidence of major depressive disorder. If I do get hit with delayed withdrawal that is severe I am wondering if I should do a small up dose like by 1.25 mg (an 1/8th of a 10 mg tablet) or even 0.6125 mg (a 1/16 of a 10 mg tablet)? I am still quite worried of any delayed withdrawal symptoms emerging as my brain chemistry tries to sort itself out. I am also concerned about protracted withdrawal symptoms. I am not an expert and I would warmly welcome any advice or constructive criticism of my ideas from this community of volunteers. In addition to my question in the above paragraph I guess my questions are: given the large dose reduction, how long should I stay at this dose before making very small 0.625 mg reductions? Is there any advice that can be given? I have been on 5 mg or lower since November (apart from the up dose to 7.5 mg through most of January and to the middle of Feb. 2024) and I am finally starting to stabilise after dropping back to 5 mg. Although my anxiety is at times worse I am actually doing much better than when I was on 20 mg in many other ways. I am caught between a rock and a hard place. Another question is the rate of reduction. I was thinking I should wait another 10 weeks before considering any further small reductions and then making less than 1 mg reduction every 4 to 6 weeks? Thank you for considering all of this, Jonathan

Hello. As you can see from my update in my signature. Ive increased to 3 mg celexa after feeling relatively stable for a few weeks in the spring and summer but when yo-yo trying to go off, go down to 1 mg back up to 2.5, trying to break pills accurately. Since I tried to reduce from five to quickly, I have suffered insomnia, louder tinnitus, explosive anxiety at times during the day. so I increased back up to 3 mg to see if that would help abate withdrawal symptoms. I am going through some health challenges so pain probably affects anxiety. I increased up to 3 mg 8 days ago with no real improvement in symptoms. should I return to the 5 mg where I felt I got the best relief from withdrawal and then stay there about two months before trying to do the 10% taper per month ? I’m not sure if I put this in the right place or if I added to my signature correctly. Thank you so much for your help and I appreciate patience if I have made any mistakes with protocols and posting.

Hi! I am a new member and found this group as I was searching the best way to taper from celexa. I have been on Celexa since 2017 for anxiety related to insomnia. I successfully tapered from 20 mg to 10 mg after I was on the drug for one year. As my anxiety reduced with getting better sleep, I found that 20 mg made me too groggy in the mornings. I successfully transitioned from 20 to 10 over four weeks with minimal side effects. I stayed on 10 mg for two years before increasing to 15 mg in June 2020 when my daughter was diagnosed with epilepsy. After three months, I felt calmer so I titrated back to 10 I alternating 1510 doses for two weeks with no side effects. I do want to mention that I was on ashwaghanda at that point which I had been on for years. in January 2021 I was feeling really stressed again so I went back up to 15 mg with no side effects. After three weeks my stress was noticeably less and I was trying to lose weight so I decided to go back to 10 mg. I did this cold turkey (as I had done a 5mg change in 2018) and suffered severe dizziness and heart palpitations for a month. I had forgotten how short of time I had been on the new dose and in hindsight I recognize that was much too quickly to change. I saw my doctor after four weeks of being on 10 mg and still experiencing moderate dizziness. He told me to reinstate to 15 mg which I did and again experienced severe dizziness even having my legs go out from underneath me once when I went to get up. The dizziness subsided after two weeks but I was still left feeling groggy in the mornings from the 15 mg dose as well as in the evenings. in late March my doctor told me that after being on 15 mg for four weeks I could again try tapering down using a 15 mg/ 10 mg alternating days schedule. I did this for five days before I felt very strong with drawl symptoms including jitteriness, difficulty finding words, twitching nerve under my eye, increased insomnia(waking up in the middle of the night, etc). I was not on ashwaghanda going into any of the 2021 titrations. I did use the pills a few times during my most recent titration as it seemed to help the symptoms at first but then I became concerned about mixing in this supplement but I was already having strong withdrawal effects. As of 4/1/21, I am now back on 50 mg and intend to stay here for a few months to allow my body to stabilize before trying to taper again. I’m planning to wait 2 months until 6/1 to try to taper again. My doctor suggested removing one 5 mg pill per week every three weeks when I try again. (Eg 10 mg on Monday, 15 mg every other day. Keep this pattern for three weeks. Then have Mondays and Thursdays at 10 mg for the next 3 weeks). i’ve read about the benefit of limiting tapering to 10% and support that idea. This program from my doctor would take me down no more than 10% per month when you average out the doses, but I wonder if it’s better to do a graduated taper like Brass Monkey outlined. Anyone have any thoughts? if I do the brass monkey method, do I literally crush up my Celexa pills into a powder and then weigh them or do I just cut off bits to try to get to the weight? Not sure how to physically execute this. I have 10 mg pills that I can easily cut in half, possibly into quarters. Would I need to get medicine from a compound pharmacy? I think I could go from 15 mg to 12.5 mg doses by cutting my pills. Appreciate any advice.

Hello! On the advice of my therapist, I was told to look into this site with the goal of finding resources and assistance for myself as I try to ween off of Celexa. I have been taking a low dose (10mg) for the past four years and have decided I no longer want to take it yet even with the 10% taper am experiencing some horrendous side effects. I have noticed an increased in irritability, rage even, where I will curse at my dog loudly (my sweet dog), feel as if I am crawling out of my skin and then proceed to try to alleviate this feeling by going into my basement and smashing household items against the walls, suicidal thoughts and poor attempts (trying to hang myself knowing I wouldn't succeed), crying spells, lack of motivation, fatigue, and apathy. I am currently down to 5mg yet am wondering if what I am experiencing is withdrawal or if I truly just need medication and need to go back to my prescribed dose. I am having difficulty knowing whom I should trust...therapist who is anti-meds, or doctor who is pro meds. Anyways, not sure what I am really looking for, hopefully some others who may have had similar side effects to know it will pass. I am most concerned about my irritability and suicidal behavior. I look forward to browsing around and hopefully gaining some insight.

Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.

Hello, I would like to ask you a question. If I started Trazodone in mid April decided to taper in May 14th, and then finally stopped on June 7th, but still have symptoms on August 14th; how long will I be this way. I will not take another SSRI or SNRI as long as I live. I m sacred and would rather suffer, so long as I can be free of this treadful syndrome sooner. But for how long? I m worried. I like to exercise a lot, eat healthy nearly every day of my life, I started taking this medication for Insomnia related to a change in (work hours) a shift that I work. I have went to work suffering from Antidepressant Discontinuation Syndrome and it was killing me. I developed Tinnitus in Early July, and I still have occasional palpitations. They are worsen with lack of sleep, after I eat, and stress. I never had this issue with before trazodone, in fact, I never had palpitations before, it hit me hard exactly at the peak of my "withdrawal on June 17th. Every symptom that is listed for withdrawal I have had, except sexual dysfunction. Only when I m in capacitated in bed, and can't think about sex does it effect sex drive, but the function has never affected.

Hey everyone, I said that once I was healed and felt back to normal again I would write a success story and I do believe that today is finally the day for it! It was a very long journey for me personally, but I know that others have been going through it for even longer. So for those of you that are still in the thick of it, I will tell you this! Keep on going and going and going!! Never ever give up! I truly do believe that everyone heals no matter how long it takes!! For some it is shorter than others, but it's coming for all of us! You can read my intro topic and see that I really didn't find this site until I was almost 8 months in deep. I was one of those who CT quit everything because nothing was working for me and I got tired of trying different things to feel better. I was extremely fortunate to meet a wonderful lady who had survived the process and she reached out to me. She was able to encourage me daily to keep going and helped me to get through the very worst of days! I was so lucky because most people do not have that support system, but it was a life saver. Some things that I learned while going through this process: 1. Stay as positive as you possibly can! I know it's hard, believe me. There were so many days I just wanted to get in a funk and stay there, but I knew how dangerous that was. If you let yourself always see the bad in things, then eventually that is all you will see! Take what is happening to you and turn it around. Find something positive in your day. When I was having the worst of symptoms, instead of feeling bad about it and moping about it, I would turn it around and tell myself that I was having a good strong day of healing! The harder the symptoms, the more healing that was taking place. I made it a positive thing!! 2. Acceptance!!! I know this one is hard!! It was for me and took me a very very long time to learn it, but once I did it made a world of difference for me. The symptoms no longer had the power over me that they once had. Yeah they were still there, but I would just acknowledge them and then move on. There was nothing I could do about them, so I just let them happen. Besides it just meant that I was doing some more healing. The sooner you can learn how to accept the process the easier the process becomes. 3. Time!!! Unfortunately in my experience I found that there are no shortcuts in this process. There is no magic pill or drug that I could take that was gonna heal me any faster. I had to be patient and wait for my brain and CNS to heal! There was no way to speed up the process or make it any easier. I just had to get through it! That was it. Time time and more time!! Each day you go through is one day closer to your ultimate healing so don't give up!! 4. Distract!!! Find something anything that you can use to distract yourself and make the time go by. For me it was long walks, paint by numbers, etchings, diamond dots, models, board games with my children!! Just anything to pass the time! The more I was able to distract myself, the more healing that was taking place without me worrying about it! When you sit around all day and don't engage your mind, it has nothing to do but ruminate on what you are thinking or experiencing. Distract!! 5. Keep track of the good days! I experienced the normal waves and windows pattern that is normal for a lot of people. I would keep a journal daily where I would write down what I was thinking, how things were going. And for me most importantly, when I was feeling good in a window, I would write about it in the journal. I would write notes to myself reminding myself that I could feel good again and that I would feel good again. That way on the hard days I could go back and see what I had written to myself to know that I was gonna be ok. And that's honestly about it! That's what worked for me! Just remember that what you are going through is temporary!! This is not the rest of your life. One day you will be healed and able to move forward with life and enjoy the days. This whole process has made me such a strong and more resilient person. Little things in life no longer really bother me and I have found I have so much more patience and understanding than I ever did before. As much as this whole thing sucked, it has made me a better person!! Just remember to keep going and going for as long as this takes!! You've got this and you know it! I will be sticking around the forums to help others. I always told myself once I made it through this I was gonna pay it forward and help others as well. Don't hesitate to reach out if needed! Ken

Hello everyone I developed an anxiety disorder during the pandemic. I didn’t know I was having anxiety at first because I never had it before so it took forever for me to actually start treating it. My anxiety was so bad it caused silent acid reflex. Anyways with time it got better naturally & then I started meditating everyday for about 3 weeks & it really got better the acid reflex was improving too. I got impatient because I wanted my life back already so I thought that taking 10mg celxa pill for a few months to finally get rid of the acid reflex would be ok. I took the pill at night time & felt calm when I woke up, I also noticed my reflex was like 95% gone which just proves it was from anxiety. Anyways later on that day I all of a sudden out of no where I got a headache, rapid heartbeat & shaky hands then I got a “s” thought ( I don’t wanna say the word) which I never had before it was like a voice in my head. I immediately threw all the medication down the drain & didn’t take another one. So I only took ONE pill. After a about a week my acid reflex came back. Since then I’ve had intrusive thoughts, ocd thoughts, brain zaps, memories of bad things that have happened, thoughts focused around violence, fear for no reason, mood swings sad for no reason, crying for no reason, extreme anxiety, frequent urinating, increase of my acid reflex, unable to sit still for long etc. This is obviously all from the pill. this is ridiculous & super scary that just one pill can cause all of this. I don’t know what to do besides wait. I do yoga every morning & breathing exercises & sometimes ride my bike. I had to quit my job. I’m only in my 20’s. Any advice or similar story is welcomed. I took the pill on April 25th so it’s been about a month now

Hi friends. I have been getting information from this site for a while so it's about time I made an account. I have been handed a pretty crappy situation (like everyone else here) and trying to decide what to do. The beginning was very rough. The awakening of what happened and what was to come, then trying to cope after seeing it all. Thank God I found Benzo Buddies and SA or I probably would've been polydrugged even more....so for that, thank you to whoever started and helps keeps this site going. I would love some advice from you guys because right now, I feel stuck. And maybe that means holding? I'm not sure. Here's the low down: Zoloft 2008-2009? CT - No Issues - Underage! 14 years old. Had anxiety (looking back...gut issues/hormones/recurring UTI's caused it) Xanax - as needed VERY RARELY 2008-2018 - maybe 1-2 a year? for random bouts of anxiety Celexa 10mg - 2012-2014 - Started after a panic attack. Looking back, I didn't eat a good breakfast and had too much caffeine but here we go. Crossover to Paxil 20mg - 2014 - Celexa pooped out. Paxil "worked" Crossover from Paxil to Lexapro 20mg - 2016 - because I was told Lexapro is better when I'm ready to get pregnant 😐 Crossover from Lexapro to Celexa - May 2020 - gradually increased to 30mg. - because I had hormone issues/stomach issues that triggered anxiety (or Lexapro pooped, I don't know) Also prescribed Lorazepam for help with the anxiety. Took it randomly Once hit 30mg, adverse reaction. Akathisia/anxiety BAD - worst experience of my life. Was in this torture for 2 weeks - I was told it couldn't be my meds but that it may be so cold Turkey July 2020 Withdrawal hit hard 5 days later - hypersexual. Discovered PGAD through google - freaked out thinking the only "cure" was medicine because that's what PGAD facebook group said...bad idea - PGAD is a nightmare symptom. Was told to take Lorazepam for symptoms - around .25-.5mg/day Propranalol 5mg at night - current Tried Buspar 10mg 3 days (didn't help pgad), nortiptyline 1mg a week (helped pgad, heart symptoms) - STOPPED. Realized meds may be the problem. Stopped lorazepam for a day, AWFUL symptoms, realized I was dependent. Found Benzo Buddies Benzo Buddies and Google led me to SA.org - told doctor I wanted to reinstate Celexa at a low dose. Started 1mg Celexa liquid and held. PGAD calmed down A LOT (only random flares) so I knew reinstatement was working. Got on Lorazepam schedule of .125mg 3 times a day. Stabilized on 1mg Celexa and .375mg Lorazepam (rough - nowhere near 100% just a gradual state of feeling bad with waves that are worse) Started cutting lorazepam randomly with dry cuts. Got down to .20mg Lorazepam by January 2021. Tried to cut 15%, hit a wall. Realized with BB that it may be easier with liquid for cuts. Pill was tiny and I had a hard time weighing. I tried to make my own liquid, one dose and I was in bad shape so knew I needed a compound to help. Prescribed Lorazepam compound with almond oil, felt okay but almond oil caused worse PGAD (I have learned magnesium flares PGAD for me and almond oil, almonds, and almond milk contains magnesium - crazy I'm so sensitive) Switched back to pills, stabilized. Went back to try another liquid with olive oil. No pgad but they used a generic pill instead of the powder they used before, bad symptoms. Went back to pill, stabilized. Then switched to new compound with olive oil. Had to updose to .225mg to transition - stabilized for 3 days finally. Cut .001mg every week. Now down to .219mg and last few cuts have been really bad with insomnia/anxiety/feeling really bad. Insomnia only lasts for about 2 days each cut but the anxiety and feeling bad lasts for a while before I stabilize. I'm still not stable from my last .001mg cut on Sunday. ALSO - I found out last Monday I have a UTI. Initial test was negative, culture came in with E-Coli. Due to my severe sensitivies, I am treating with dmannose, cantharis and Uva Ursi tea I will start soon. The symptoms have calmed but still feel overall terrible. I'm hoping the last cut was bad because the UTI made it worse? Anyway - I have been through so much over the last year and I feel like I've hit a wall. I would really love some advice. Benzo Buddies has helped but they're not familiar with SSRI withdrawal. My initial thought at this point was to stabilize and lower SSRI using Brass Monkey Taper but the Celexa does keep the PGAD at bay most of the time. Since that is the case, my thought is to get off of the lorazepam first. I am definitely learning how to listen to my body/surrender to this all. With that said - my questions: 1. Should I have held longer with the switch to liquid? I'm starting to think I should have held longer to allow my nervous system to adjust but not sure. Is that why my teeny tiny cuts are bad right now? 2. Is it a good plan to drop lorazepam first? I am in a pickle because I started feeling worse (malaise) around the time I got on the Ativan schedule so I'm not sure if it's making everything worse, etc. I haven't felt good on it but I'm also in SSRI withdrawal so not sure what is what? 3. I know this is a really long time from now BUT after withdrawing from Lorazepam, how long should I wait to taper the Celexa OR do I just follow my gut/symptoms? I need to be as functional as possible, of course. Right now, I feel overall crappy when I'm stable but able to push through. Brain burning, anxiety, stomach issues, bladder issues, fatigue, malaise, body aches BUT sleeping okay and working and taking care of my family. Fighting! Each tiny cut I've made from Lorazepam since switching to liquid brings on insomnia for a couple of days and bad fear/anxiety/sensitive to noise/irritability/tinnitus/anger/laying on the couch a lot. I would love any advice. I will try to put this all in my signature! Thank you so so much for your help. I know one day healing will come but getting there is a struggle that you all know oh so well.

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health.

Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!

Hello members of this helpful forum. I’m a 44 year old male, and altough struggling to get of ssri’s for a long time, I’ve only found this forum recently. I’ve been reading here a lot the last few days and recognize so much. I will try to introduce myself without to much spelling errors, English is not my native language and I hate making mistakes but I’ll try. when about 19 years old I was prescribed propanolol due to anxiety. After a few years I was switched to Seroxat, I dont know the dosages anymore. Medication along with CBT didn’t help very much and depression came along. A new therapist recommended to take Citalopram because of my (social) anxiety. 40mg at first, and I remember it helped me better than the Seroxat. But on Citalopram I did notice the decline of my sexuality, but it didn’t bother me at the time being single, and I was told this was not permanent. After some time I went to a dose of 60mg and felt like superman. But I had much more side effects like rapid heartbeat, sweating and my sexuality was non existent so went back to 40mg. At about 29 years old I hated the sexual side effects so much I felt like being in a mental prison and wanted to quit. Therapist told me I could quit Cold turkey no problem. Withdrawal was hell on earth and after a few months (without sexual improvement) I reinstated 40mg. Later in time I tried tapering, but in retrospect this was way to quick (40-20-10-0) and after a few months I reinstated again to 40mg. After a lot of stress and anxiety my therapist suggested 60mg again, which I did. Again the same side effects kicked in but I felt like superman again. In retrospect the high dosage triggered hypomania. But my incompetent therapist put ‘bipolar’ in my medical file, not linking it to the high dose he prescribed me. I went back to 40mg and tried to taper (to quick) again. After a few months withdrawal kicked in and I saw no other option than to to reinstate. After a few years on 40mg and still completely impotent I read an article in a digital newspaper about PSSD, I think it was 2014. This was an eye opener for me. I found the PSSD-forum (never posted there) and tried various supplements trying to improve my PSSD, altough of course still on 40mg Citalopram but nothing helped. My conclusion was that the only way to get my sexuality back was to quit the ssri and this became my number one goal in life. I started breaking tablets and taking every other day to about 20mg. After this I started using tapering strips to a dosage of 12mg. I felt that even with tapering strips, tapering went to quick and I wanted to be able to stay longer at a certain dose so I switched to oral drops. The first of februari this year I did the last taper, from 4 to 3 drops. So I went from 8mg to 6mg. Way more than the advisable 10%. WD symptoms are worse than before but I’m managing. Being unemployed gives me the ability to sleep a lot, which helps. I’m waiting until WD symptoms stabilize again before tapering any further. Was planning to mix the oral solution with ethanol so one drop would equal 1mg but read some useful info on this forum about using a syringe. So I’m planning to taper further from 6mg to 5mg using a syringe. although PSSD is my main motivation to quit the ssri there is not much improvement so far. But I try to stay positive and there are some positives I should mention. Some side effects while being on 40/60mg are diminished. I no longer have a dry mouth and the extreme sweating is almost gone. In wintertime I always had acne around my mouth and nose, this is gone too, along with severe dandruff. On 40/60mg I also gained weight easily, but losing it was hardly impossible. The last months due to less apitite as an WD symtom I’m losing weight again. WD syptoms I experience are; fatigue, sensatitions in my head, easily irritated, sensitive to noise and light, CPPS, loss of intelligence/creativity/vocabulary, loss of appetite, anhedonia.

Like so many others, I am grateful to have found this site, but wish I had found it much sooner. I have spent a lot of time reading through the information here and I wanted to add my story. I don't have any specific questions right now, but I suspect I might when it comes time to continue my taper. Before my story, a few thoughts: I am currently going through perimenopause as I also deal with WD symptoms from my too-fast taper. I worry that I could be conflating the symptoms of the two, or that they could be amplifying each other (especially the insomnia, brain fog, and irritability). Despite that, I am hoping to avoid HRT if possible, as I just don't want to introduce anything new into my system. I am abstaining from alcohol and caffeine. I have been taking a small dose of prescription cannabis once every 1-2 weeks when my insomnia becomes unbearable. I plan to try and discontinue this going forward. I believe I was becoming a problem a drinker when I was on higher doses of Citalopram. I'm not sure I would have been able to quit drinking back then. My alcohol cravings have drastically decreased as I've lowered my dose, and I'm very proud of myself for getting it under control! I participate in 60-minute high-intensity exercise sessions at the gym 4-5 times per week. I know this is potentially too much intense exercise for my sensitive CNS, but this is one thing that I really don't want to have to cut back, as it is one of the few activities that I currently enjoy and it provides a much-needed social outlet throughout the week. Because my long journey with psychiatry began when I was still an adolescent, I am terrified that I missed my opportunity to discovery my "real" self and that I will never know if I have "recovered," since I don't know who I am without medication. I sometimes find myself questioning my decision to try and taper. I struggle with acceptance. While I know that there isn't anything I can do to change the past, I am still filled with anger when I think about all of the lost time and unnecessary suffering I have had to endure. In 1999, I was 19 years old and had started my sophomore year in college. I was taking a huge load of credits for fall semester, maintaining straight As, participating in a number of extracurriculars, and trying to have an active social life. Right before Fall break, the pressure got to be too much and I had a meltdown with lots of tears and panic. My roommate was concerned about me and took me to campus health services. They called my parents and recommended that I see a doctor over the break. I went to a general practitioner who talked to me for a few minutes and diagnosed me with depression. She told me that my depression was caused by my my brain not producing enough serotonin, and that there was an amazing drug that I could take to correct the imbalance. It was called Zoloft. I asked her if there were any risks associated with it, and she laughed. "They should be putting this stuff in the water," she said. That was all it took to convince me. I have a recollection of my dosage being 100mg, which I started taking as prescribed and I don't recall having any adverse reactions. My doctor also recommended therapy, so I started seeing a counsellor at my college every week. It felt really good to just be able to talk to someone. I started feeling better almost immediately. I wish I remember exactly how long I was on the Zoloft; I'm estimating that it was about 6 months. When I asked my doctor about stopping, she questioned why I would want to since I was doing so well, but she agreed to help me stop. She told me there aren't any withdrawal symptoms with Zoloft, but she recommended a "taper" in case my original symptoms returned. That "taper" involved taking half of my dose for two weeks, and then going every-other-day for two weeks. I followed this schedule, and I don't remember having any immediate issues. I do wonder if some of what happened next could have been post-acute withdrawal, however. When I started my junior year, I was back to my old habits. I stopped going to counseling. I was taking on even more credits and activities, my friends were turning 21 and there were lots of parties and drinking, and I started a serious relationship. I was sacrificing sleep and meals in order to study. At the start of January term, I came down with Mono and was as physically sick as I have ever been. I saw a doctor who put me on prednisone for my throat and suggested that I take the spring semester off so I could rest and recover. I gladly took the steroids but ignored the advice and instead doubled down on my activities. A few months later, I started taking birth control for the first time and opted for the depo provera shot. By the time finals rolled around, I was a mess, with frequent tears and a few panic attacks. When I got to my last exam, I just couldn't do it. I stared at the Blue Book for 10 minutes and couldn't even pick up my pencil. I finally just walked out of the building without taking the test. As I was leaving, I ran into a friend who asked me what was wrong. I completely melted down, and through the tears, I think I said something about hurting myself. My friend took me straight to campus health services, who sent me to the hospital and called my parents. The hospital didn't have any beds available, so they released me to my parents and told them they needed to take me to a psychiatrist as soon as possible. I remember the psychiatrist's office having a lot of signage and brochures about something called "Effexor XR." I filled out a bunch of paperwork and then talked to the psychiatrist for about 30 minutes. He diagnosed me with GAD and major depression. He told me that I was suffering from a chemical imbalance in my brain. It was no different than someone with diabetes. Like a diabetic, there were medications I could take to correct the imbalance in my brain. He said that since I had anxiety and depression I needed a medication that would work for both, so he introduced me to Effexor XR. I tried to tell him that Zoloft worked well the last time, but he said Zoloft wouldn't address both of my conditions. I left his office with some free samples of the Effexor XR, a prescription for 75mg, along with a couple of Effexor pens and brochures. I only made it about 3 weeks on the Effexor. It turned me into a completely different person. I was yelling and throwing things, and I even kicked a hole in the wall of my bedroom. One day, when my mom was trying to make me take my medication, I threw the glass across the room and screamed that I was never going to take it again. That was how I ended up quitting CT, and the week that followed was what introduced me to the concept of "brain zaps." I was also dizzy and sick to my stomach, but grateful to be done with that medication. I was taken to a different psychiatrist who gave me the same diagnosis and prescribed 60mg of Citalopram. That's right - 60mg, for a 120-pound adolescent. I had no idea if that was a high dose; I assumed it wasn't high, since it was a smaller number than the Zoloft and the Effexor. I tolerated the new medication well, and before long, I was back to college to start my senior year. No one ever talked about an exit strategy. No one ever talked about dose reduction. No one ever talked about side effects. The internet wasn't a big thing yet in 2001, and I never tried to do any of my own research. I believed and trusted the doctors. My prescription was sent to my general practitioner who continued to prescribe the medication year after year, no questions asked. After a couple of years, I started experiencing anhedonia and sexual disfunction, but I didn't talk to anyone about it. I figured that was the price I was going to have to pay for my "chemical imbalance," and I figured it was better than going back to my original symptoms. These side effects have had a profound impact on my life for many years. In 2012, I went to my doctor for my annual checkup, and he told me I needed to have an EKG. Apparently, the FDA had issued a warning about Citalopram causing heart problems for people taking "more than the recommended maximum dose." More than the recommended maximum?!? I was SHOCKED when I heard that. I had no idea that I was taking a high dose. I asked my doctor if I could reduce it. He said there was no reason to do so, because my EKG came back normal and it was "such a harmless medication." That was the last time I saw that doctor, and the first time I started questioning my need for the medication at all. My new doctor agreed to let me drop down to 40mg and said there wouldn't be any WD effects. In fact, she said I could continue to taper down as much as I wanted by cutting my dose in half every two weeks and that I shouldn't have any issues. I knew that wasn't true because I had missed doses in the past and felt side effects, but I didn't say anything, as it didn't seem right for me to question a doctor. Sure enough, when I dropped the dose to 40mg I started having "brain shivers" and dizziness for several weeks, along with some emotional distress. Little did I know that going from 60>40 would be my easiest dose reduction. At that point, I knew I was going to be on my own with tapering. I invented my own schedule, going from 40>30>20>15>10>5 over the course of the next 10 years. I waited for times in my life where I wasn't anticipating anything important or stressful, and did my cuts then. Still thinking that I had a "chemical imbalance," I took up running and intense exercise to try and boost my serotonin levels. I thought I was being so responsible and careful with my tapering and exercise strategy. However, each cut has been more and more difficult, and the last one from 10>5 has been downright horrific. I had to quit my former job when I went from 15>10, and I feel like I'm now barely hanging on to my current one. My friendships and marriage are suffering. I used to be a world champion sleeper, and now I'm lucky if I get 3-4 hours. My "anxiety" (or whatever it is) is off the charts. I suffer from brain fog, intrusive thoughts, and irritability. As I mentioned above, I sometimes find myself questioning why I'm doing this and if I would be better off staying on the meds forever. The only things keeping me going with the taper right now are my stubbornness, this website, and the few windows that have peaked through the waves recently. The windows give me hope. My current plan is to see if I can stabilize where I am at 5mg. If and when I do, I will switch to a liquid equivalent for at least a couple of months to make sure I tolerate that change, and then will start a S-L-O-W taper. Whew - that was a long story, but it felt good to write it out. Thank you for this community. I'm glad to be here.

Hello! I am a 22 year old woman who was first prescribed 10mg of Celexa in January 2022, then 20mg in March 2022. I had never had any issues with anxiety or depression, but at the time was in the midst of an Adderall addiction that had left me with depressive comedowns to the point of suicidal ideation. I ultimately said goodbye to Adderall in March 2023 and went cold-turkey without any lingering side effects. I continued to take 20mg Celexa daily until the end of April, when I realized that the medication was numbing my emotions and curbing my anxiety to the point that I felt no urgency over anything. My prescriber's instructions for tapering, I have learned, were much too fast – I cut from 20mg to 10mg at the end of April, and held there for a month before cutting from 10mg to 0mg over the course of June/July. My last dose of Celexa was on July 9th. Symptoms of withdrawal were noticeable shortly thereafter, but have really peaked over the past 2 weeks. I had severe gastrointestinal side effects (took laxatives for 10 days straight), feelings of depersonalization and dizziness, difficulty staying asleep, elevated heart rate, and severe episodes of hopelessness and lack of motivation. I decided to reinstate 2.5mg as of Saturday, which resolved my gastrointestinal issues but otherwise has not made a significant difference yet in terms of mental stability. I am not sure where to go from here – I plan to meet with a new psychiatrist this week, but this has been the most difficult thing I have ever encountered. Curious if anyone has had a similar experience, has any recommendations, or even just words of support. I am so desperate for my life back. Thank you so much.

Hello everyone. I have been on Celexa for over twenty years. Over the past several years I noticed I really wasn't feeling great. I suffered from a lot of headaches and a dizzy off-balance feeling as well as anxiety (which I thought the medication was supposed to control) I decided I wanted to stop taking this. Doctor started a slow taper and took me from 30mg to 5 mg in a little over a month. I completed the taper about a two weeks ago. Iam still feeling the dizziness, but its intensified and I have a low-grade headache daily. My stomach feels weird, and I notice I am either freezing or burning hot all the time. I was sitting at my desk today at work and felt like my world was sideways for a minute. This is so scary, and I fear it will never end. Has anyone had similar discontinuation symptoms? How long did they last? I am really in need of support.

Hi, this will take a while to write down as i’m suffering to remembering things clearly. When I was 16(2013) I got diagnosed with ADD, social anxiety and a learning disability. I was put on Atomoxetin and Sertraline where I refused to take them most of the time as I just didn’t want to be different from the other kids. Didn’t experience any side effects at all and I quit taking the pills CT a year after without any WD. In mid 2018 I was put on citalopram 20mg and seroquel(25mg but told me I could take up to max 75mg a day and switch between doses if I felt like I needed it) for sleep, after I developed an ED and a depression due to a past abusive relationship. had severe side effects at first, but wanted to feel better desperatly so I held out. In 2019 my anxiety got worse and my doctor increased my dose to 40mg of citalopram and lastly to 60mg. In start 2021 I began feeling almost sicker, having severe headaches, extreme irritability, stomach aches, bloating and numbness. decided I didn’t want to live like this, I educated myself on the medications I was taking and I was shocked to say the least. I contacted my doctor and we started started tapering down from 60mg citalopram in 2021 in May to 30mg, with no problems but experienced extreme withdrawal when i tapered down too fast from 30 to 12mg after a month. on a steady dose of 15mg of citalopram from July up to now. Been Tapering down on quetiapine from august 16th 2021 to (75mg, 50mg, 25mg, 12mg and been on 6mg for my last dose in April 2022. I wanna keep updating my progress here since i’ve had horrible withdrawals from the quetiapine tapering for the past 4 months, with very little windows.

Hi All, Firstly thanks for the excellent site and taking the time to review my post. History is long, so in the interest of time, 20 yrs on SSRI's (i've tried virtually all but had most luck with prozac and lexapro) with a 4 month bout of Remeron (awful w/d not helped by cross taper) and benzo's on/off for 8 years or so. Benzo: I've successfully switched from .5mg of clonazepam/day to 10mg valium and i'm now at 2mg per day. A bit more about this below. SSRI: Was on 20 mg for celexa for the last several months but completely zombified so decided it's finally time to be done with this sh1t I dropped relatively quickly per docs orders with really no impact down to 5mg celexa completely stopping the celexa and valium on May 1. Started 10 mg prozac only May 1, by May 4 really awful DR with anxiety, inability to focus, sleeplesness, headaches. Reinstated 1-2 mg valium which helped a little bit. Yesterday i tested the waters and dropped the prozac down to 5 mg to see if agitation was from that which resulted in bad anxiety, chills,and shaking. Took the other 5 g prozac and an additional 1mg valium which helped a bit. Today slightly better back at 10mg prozac and 2mg valium in the morning. I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow and really don't know what to do and not sure i trust his opinion frankly but do believe he will be fine with what i recommend. I consider these the following my options: 1.) Reinstate celexa at last dose (5mg?), drop prozac entirely after a week or 2, and keep valium, then micro taper off at 10% per 3 weeks or so. 2.) Hold steady on prozac and valium for awhile (how long?) then micro taper 3.) Something else? Any thoughts are much appreciated and i apologize for any incoherence in this post but just got back from work trip and wanted to get this out there for the educated folks to review asap. Many thanks for any input and your time!!! methuselah

Hello all, I’m glad I found this site, and knowing there is people like me. I’ve been looking on this site to read and gather as much information as I can. Let me start from the beginning. I’m typing this with intense brain fog. In junior high school I was diagnosed with ADD, depression and social anxiety, was put on the drug merry go round. I honestly don’t remember the dates of being on these dugs or the dosage. I do remember being on Lexapro, Paxil, Zoloft, Remeron, Tarzodone, Strattera. I’m not sure when I stopped these drugs with help from the psychiatrist. The next part my memory is better. In 2007 I was having bad anxiety from my job and my up to date drugs then was Klonpin .5 mg tablet 2x a day, Celexa hbr 20 mg tablet 1x in the evening, Concerta 36 mg tablet 1x in the morning. I wasn’t my real self on those drugs. In 2014 I had a back injury, I needed to work without being in so much pain. I think around 2015 I was put on Flexeril 10mg tablet up to 3x a day, Hydrocodone-acetaminophen 5mg-300mg tablet every six hours, Tramadol 50 mg tablet 3x a day, Mobic 7.5 mg tablet 1x a day, Prednisone 20mg tablet 1x a day. All while still taking Celexa, Concerta, and Klonpin. I was a walking zombie. I couldn’t function, simple tasks for me became the most complex to do. I know I wasn’t functioning at “normal” level, but I didn’t know what else to do with being in so much back pain. In 2016 the pain from my back was going into my feet, I was put on Gapapentin 600mg tablet 3x a day. At this time, I was put on more Klonpin cause I reached a tolerance, 1mg tablet 3x a day. During this time I had a surgery scheduled for my back, I told this to my gp, and he literally cut me off from Klonpin. Dr said tapper 2 weeks off Klonpin and your fine, but I knew better. My dad is a drug and alcohol counselor, and brought home papers on Dr. Ashton for benzodiazepines withdrawal. I knew it was going to be tough. This part is a bit hazy to me, I do remember Tapering off of K for months, maybe 4 to 6 months. I forget the exact dosage I did. That was a nightmare, I’m glad I didn’t do it in 2 weeks. I had the brain zaps, hot, rage, restlessness, feeling like jumping out of skin, depression. Definitely, one of the most difficult things I have gone through in my life. The lack of sleep I feel like was the worst part of it all. I decided not go through with the back surgery. For whatever reason I starting to taper off the other drugs. I tapered one at time with a good amount of space before I started my next taper. I forget the dates, but I tapered off of Tramadol, Flexeril, Gabapentin, and Hydrocodone. It was not easy but I did it. I would just go to my room blackout the window and stay there. I was also put on medical marijuana around this time. In 2019 is when I feel like I was coming out of the withdrawals. The only way to describe me before and after the drugs is night and day. I could process information, think clearly. I could feel emotions to a point. I felt really good. I was still on Celexa hbr 20mg 1x in the evening and Concerta 36mg 1x in the morning. At the end of April in 2022 I went on medical leave from my work because of my back, it hurt to stand. So 13 days ago I saw my gp told him I was feeling sedated from the Celexa, he said to take it in the morning. I tried that, and couldn’t sleep, so decided to take it at night to sleep. Last Thursday, I picked up my rx for Celexa. I told the pharmacist the same thing, he said take it in the morning, and let your body get used to it. I did as he said, and I took Celexa 20 hbr 20mg at 7am. I noticed a change and how I was feeling. At exactly 4pm this intense drowsy, dizzy, brain fog hit me. Also, noticed my breathing at this time is slow and shallow. 4pm is when I would normally take Celexa. This intense drowsy, dizzy feeling was only happening at 4pm. I wanted this to go away, so two days ago I decided to take my Celexa at the normal time 4pm. Today at 7am I started feeling that intense drowsy, dizzy, hot, almost feeling shaky, brain fog. It is so difficult to do simple things. I’m having back surgery next month, don’t want to be in this condition when that happens if possible. What do I do? Need help? I’m going to a cvs minute clinic soon, so they can check me out, but I don’t think they will be much help. Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated. Every single one of you guys on here are amazing, don’t ever forget that! If people really knew the struggle we go through, I think they would have more respect for us. Much Love to you all!