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Hi, My name is Kai. I was prescribed three meds in the first day. Those were Abilify, Agotine, and Topiramate. I took them instantly after the meeting with psychiatrist. I was very stressed. I felt not understood. But that wasn't the problem. The problem occured when I took the second dose after few hours. I started feeling a strange amount of satisfaction. It was night, and I felt as if I was in a kind of a transitional state. I remember feeling almost supernatural. There was a different day, which I guess I did almost the same thing after meeting the psychiatrist. I remember it was a day, and the dose might have been changed. Also there might have been added the new pill, Risperidone. I felt great agitation. I could not stop moving. I saw hallucination. I felt my world was melting down. My world was never the same after that. Honestly, I don't remember if those two were the same day or not. And many other things occured in the other days, but those were what happened when I was struck by meds instantly. The other days, I felt also very unreal. I felt my world was changing into something else. Since it was the first time I was using the antipsychotics, I thought this was what it was supposed to be doing. Later, I started losing my musical abilities. It happened gradually. One day suddenly, I simply wasn't able to play anymore. I still cannot play to this day. Before, I was great at many instruments. I was a musician by heart, feeling arts all throughout the world, loving the poetry and literature, and so on. I also loved movies, but those all disappeared. I was somewhere apart from the world I used to be in before. There was no 'me' anymore. No more interest, feelings, thoughts, memories. But I was still able to enjoy movies to some extent until I became bedridden. Being bedridden was when I was completely done in my life. At least that is what I felt. But while I was being bedridden, I slowly recovered in a strange way. It took a long time, and the recovery didn't show any promise of my previous self, I started to feel some normal feelings again, which was not really pleasing to me. I don't know if it was because I was being bedridden, relying on to my family, losing my independence and hope, but the reality felt much worse and resembled that feeling of unfortunate childhood that I've been through. I felt totally immature. I am very sorry my writing doesn't articulate anything good. I have tried to write this introduction since the beginning of this year, but it took so long to even be able to write something that doesn't look terrible. So since I know you, which are great people who chose to help, would kindly write replies to this pitiful writing, and if you do so and ask me for more specifics, I will try my best to tell more about my symptoms and situations. It also takes very long time for me to remember something, including what I ate for breakfast. Thank you.

Hello dear wonderful forum of SA ❤️ My name is Ana (and English is not my first language ) , my story about ADs has been a long one. I have been on and off them for many years ,starting 14 years old (now 32) when I took them for 2-3 days and due to side effects I didn’t take them anymore. Years later after my intrusive thoughts and scary ones emerged, I took ADs for a couple of months and dropped them. And after some years later I took them for a year and dropped them (Circa 2016-2017) I have been on different ones: Escitalopram , Zoloft and others I cannot remember. In 2022 after 4 years of battling my anxiety ( anxiety non stop, headaches, racing thoughts, vomiting, neck, head and terrible body pain at the point that I barely could stand up. Which may have been caused because of me experimenting with my on/off drug use ) I decided to try another psychiatrist. She prescribed me Abilify 10mg explaining that I was resisting the ADs and needed something else(poor me for believing this) I cannot explain how I survived the beginning of taking this drug. I stayed on it for 1.5 year and my anxiety still continued(no improvement whatsoever). Me and my psychiatrist decided to add Zoloft so maybe I could feel better. After a year and a half on Abilify I decided to drop it and went from 10 to 5 and from 5 to 2.5. Then cut it off at the end of November 2023. I had terrible Withdrawal symptoms but also had a little sparkle of determination and hope that I will survive it(this was my 4th attempt). I survived somehow. At the end of December I decided to cut Zoloft from 50 to 25mg (bad mistake, don't do it please) and ended in a terrible situation. Then went back to 50mg in January 2024. I have decided that I should try the 10% method. My question is when should I start ? How should I cut the doses? (in my country no liquid is available). Should I buy a scale and a pill cutter? Please help to start my safe (hopefully) withdrawal. Right now my symptoms are: Fatigue, brain fog, memory problems, allergy like symptoms : watery eyes, overwhelmed easily, anhedonia, depression, anxiety but not at big levels (after cutting off Abilify anxiety has really improved). At the moment I am trying to stay on track with a healthy diet( mostly I cook by myself healthy meals). I try and walk every 2-3 days a week and do 10-15 minutes of stretching/exercises every day. I am trying to add prayers to my daily routine but don't know how to do it ( I believe that a greater force has kept me alive so far and thus I need to create a connection with that) I have a full time job and don't know how I have managed but I still do work these 6 past years have been a nightmare and I don't really know how I have been able to work, I am married and have a 3.5 year old daughter ( she is my light ❤️ and mostly I am doing this because of her because I don't want her to be without a mother and I really do want to come to the other side ). Being a mother during this time of my life has been exhausting to say the least but I still have tried to keep a smile in front of my lovely daughter. My family is very supportive and they really have helped me be alive so far and for this I am really grateful. What has also kept me alive so far is the thought that I was not born like this and I clearly remember how I was such an active person, very alive and creative one. I am crying while writing this and am so sorry we all have to go through this season. Today I join this wonderful forum which I found after so many years of questions and no answers. I found my people ❤️ Note: Today's my father heavenly birthday (68 years) and I am really happy to join in a remarkable day to this remarkable site ❤️

Hi I am new here. I have been tapering from 75 mg Zoloft, 1250 Depakote, and 30 mg Abilify. I know those are some heavy-duty dosages. I am ready to get off of these meds, but I do not want to go too fast (and I know I have.) Every four days I've been lowering dosages. I know it's too quick a taper and will slow down. Thanks

I started taking MMJ two years ago to help “manage” my anxiety so I could come off of 50 mg of Amitriptyline and .50 of Klonopin. My doctor was completely on board with this as he said it’s “natural” and really wanted me off Klonopin. This past February I ended up accidentally overdosing on MMJ and started to hallucinate. I was told my metabolism must have changed and that I would have to readjust the dose. Even in my state of mind I knew that was a horrible idea and CT’ed the MMJ. I had NO idea what I was doing or what was in store for me. I was put on 2 mg of Abilify and was told that it would help “speed the withdrawal process.” I never even decreased the Amitriptyline or Klonopin the entire time I took the MMJ. I was told after a month to just stop the Abilify. I can’t even attempt to describe the terror I felt the next two months. I had de realization, depersonalization, disordered thinking, panic attacks, it goes on and on. I didn’t sleep AT ALL the first month and then the second month I was getting 1-2 hours a night. I didn’t even know that it was physically possible to go that long without sleep. I developed paradoxical insomnia as well as a fear of insomnia. I stopped the Ability after one month. I decided by the third month I would taper the Amitriptyline since I initially took it for sleep and it wasn’t helping. Did I mention I had NO idea what I was doing? I went from 50mg to 6mg in two months. I honestly was about to throw in the towel at this point and go on an antidepressant but then found this site. I knew at this point I was in PAWS from MMJ but didn’t realize cutting the Amitriptyline this fast was a contributing factor. I thought that this was my “mental illness” coming back. I increased back to 10 mg in July and am holding steady. I am currently on 10 mg Amitriptyline and .50 mg Klonopin. Seven months later I still have a lot of issues. More importantly I have a lot of hope. I worked with a wonderful hypnotist and am at the point where I don’t worry about sleep. I eat well and exercise every day. I practice gratitude and am learning to live in the moment. I still wake up every 1-2 hours a night; most nights I fall back asleep and I am grateful for that. I’m learning to observe my thoughts and use my anxiety and fear as guides. I am already the strongest person I know. I’m only starting my journey but wanted to share early hope for those that may be struggling with acceptance. I also want to thank everyone on this site, you have been a part of my journey.

Hi,everyone. My name is Manny.my psiquiatrist wants me to reduce the cymbalta from 60 to 30 mgs. I know it is a 50% reduction.i should decrease only 10%.how do i taper off 10%? And how long it takes? Should i open the capsules and count the number of beads and remove that 10%? How do i ingest the 90% remaining? With water? With juice? Can i do water tritation? I take cymbalta 60,abilify 25,ativan 2.5,risperdal 7.5 mg.

Hi, I am happy to know this site exists! After coming off of a couple of other antipsychotics (see below) I am finally on one that seems the lesser of evils. That being said Lurasidone is not perfect. I’m on 30 mg, soon to be 20 mg of Lurasidone. I have been on 30 mg (from 40 mg) for 3 months now so I feel it is time to trial a reduction. So far I haven’t had any withdrawal symptoms, but I’m pretty sure I am a poor metabolizer of this medication, so I’m expecting a delayed withdrawal. I think it will take some convincing to go down any further than 20 mg because I am on this medication for Schizophrenia which I have been newly diagnosed with, and literature with being poor metabolizers on antipsychotics is limited (I only found an article stating if you’re on Risperidone you should be on 1/4 of the recommended dose). It took enough convincing to get this far, as the normal starting dose for Schizophrenia is 40 mg. I haven’t had any hallucinations or other symptoms on 30 mg so I am hoping 3 months was long enough to go ahead and trial 20 mg. Overall, I find Lurasidone the lesser of evils for antipsychotics as I am not drowsy at all, and don’t have akathisia as bad as I did on other medications. I have had some weight gain, my hair is thinning a lot, and I have a bit of akathisia in the afternoons so I’m hoping the reduction will help with this. I wish I could go off of all medications, and part of me still believes that there is a possibility that my short-lived psychosis episodes were because of medication withdrawal, not schizophrenia, as I was coming off of medication both times the psychosis happened. Or, I have entertained that there is a possibility I have both Schizophrenia, AND had withdrawal psychosis. Either way the psychosis which presented as auditory hallucinations was super scary and I don’t think I want to experiment with being completely off a medication for now. If I was able to convince my psychiatrist to taper completely off of it at some point, I would probably want to be in hospital and because of the delayed withdrawals I experience, it would be quite a lengthy stay, so not ideal right now. July 2020 - Feb 2021 : Risperidone March 2021 - April 2021 : Abilify September 2021 - March 2022 : Clopixol March 2022 - Current : Lurasidone (Latuda)

I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will

Hi sorry for my poor english i'am suffering from nerve pain after I CT prozac and abilify I took them for almost 3,5 weeks I was on ativan from 9-11 2023 0.5-1mg Clonazepam 11-1 0.5mg tappering for 0.25 for month and i am on 0,25 from 2 month olanzapine 10m g 2 weeks in 12 2023 then abilify 10 days 10 mg 7 days ablifiy 5 mg and stopped at 13/12/2023 beacuse TD started Prozac 20 for 3.5 weeks and ct in 16/12 /2023 mild withdrawal then In 2/2 2024 My body started tingiling only when move then day after day pain is increased now it like fire ants 24/7 is it from prozac, abilify or clonazepam i was on 0.25 clonazepam for 3 weeks before it started and there was no thing

HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz

Hello, I have decided to go to a different medicine than my current one (going on 5 years with Abilify 30mg although it hadn't started that way at the beginning of course. it ramped up to 30mg over some time. I digress). I chose this different one based off a video that talked about the least weight-gain-inducing as a side effect, medicine. That medicine is Latuda. The reason for this is because the doctors are worried that my EPS side effect symptoms (in my case: oculogyric crisis and some weird hand tremors and movements) will last longer or become permanent if i don't either 1) taper down (which I've tried on numerous occasions [going down 1mg at a time] without success). or 2) Switch to a new medicine temporarily. That being Latuda. I guess the idea being switching and then tapering off of that one eventually. Or staying at a lower dose of the new one. Initial thoughts/questions: Did I make the wrong decision here? How would I have better prepared to go down on the medicine if I had chosen that route again another time? Thanks

Hi, I’m Kat. I’m a long time lurker first time poster. So I was told by the majority of the PSSD reddit to head here after thinking my symptoms were PSSD and there is some sexual dysfunction, I agree, but I also have uh, odd symptoms. I’m not sure if this is withdrawal from my other medications. Technically I’m still currently on 2 but I’d like to get off of all of them and get my life back. So the prevailing thing is- I can’t feel emotions. And I don’t mean Apathy or Anhedonia, I mean nothing at all. Like a blank. Not even anxiety. This started when I began tapering off of buspar (yes, buspar) in January of 2024. From 20mg to 15mg. (Yes, I know, extremely low dosages.) I was also on 20mg of Hydroxyzine as needed. Suddenly I had a horrible anxiety attack, and I couldn’t feel my stomach. Like it was gone. And there was no hunger or thirst. And then I started having horrible post nasal drip, and dry heaving. And I felt my emotions just go into this vacuum. Very slowly, but now I have blunted affect on my face and I can’t seem to make ANY facial expressions at all. My nausea disappeared, along with the these tremors, arm pains, and burning in my fingers that I’d had for a week. I went to my doctor to get an upped dosage of my long standing metoprolol prescription due to the fact that my heart rate consistently was up all the time. (That has since been controlled by propranolol and lisinipril as of February of 2024.) After losing my emotions, drugs lost most of their effects on me. And I noticed a dampening of all my senses, including (and this is the most bizarre) loss of most of my visual snow. My allergies have also disappeared as well. I recognize that these aren’t super standard withdrawal symptoms and many align with some on the PSSD board, but I did read many stories about emotional anesthesia here, which gave me some hope my emotions would come back. I also have awful insomnia, but never seem to feel tired. I do sleep, but it’s awful and only about a few hours at a time on and off. I do have some weird issues with my vision, to where if I see a light after I’ve opened my eyes in the dark, it flickers like a projector. I’m currently in a PHP program (pardon my ADHD brain) after being inpatient in a psych ward for a while in February. I’m still on two medications, wellbutrin 300mg and abilify 20mg. I can’t taper the wellbutrin in the normal way because the pills are covered by something, but I could potentially do this for the abilify. Again, neither drug seems to be doing anything for me anyway. Even Ativan which once worked in small doses or valium, which I took once in a hospital stay, does nothing. Nor does benadryl or anything else for that matter. I’m scared this is very much permanent and that I’ve ruined my life forever. Despite the hope that I’ve seen on the forum. (I know, emotions come back last, they leave first and come back last.) (I’m not taking benzodiazepines regularly either, by the way.) Anyway, any advice would be appreciated. And it’s nice to meet y’all.

Hello, My name is Kyy, and I would like to introduce myself. I am currently on a community treatment order. Been on one for 5 years. I have plans to taper off of Abilify Injection 400 mg... If anyone would like to discuss about getting off of a CTO or Abilify Maintena 400 mg, please message me. Thanks!

hello, I've been on psych drugs since 2004 when I was diagnosed with bipolar. around three years ago I began the slow process of a slow taper withdrawal. things are becoming very challenging with the lamictal withdrawal. I have looked into a peer run respite house that I am planning on going to for two weeks while I do my next 10% taper of lamictal. I am feeling some discouragement because it takes so much energy to deal with communicating and educating my family, friends, support system and the doctor and still maintain my integrity for keeping to my goals and what I value for my own health. I get tired of constantly having to deal with the misguided information that everyone seems to believe and try and keep me from moving forward. the thing is, I still have a long way to go and I can't afford to waste my energy on people who are not interested in supporting me for better health. I feel tired and then I get so exhausted when I'm tapering on top of it. I am so thankful to have found this site because there is so much good information on how to taper more effectively. Really, I've been going too slow. I need to keep my momentum going. I'm new to this site and I think I need to set up my profile, trying to figure out how to do that. I appreciate the support. 2004 -Seroquel and Depakote. many changes of many drugs. cold abrupt stop. 2007-abilify 2014- abrupt stop restart abilify. 2015- abrupt stop -- put on abilify injection. then abilify oral. lamictal. Cogentin. 2016- began slow taper of lamictal 100mg, taper of Cogentin 10mg. taper of Abilify 5mg. 2019- now 37.5mg of lamictal. 0 of Cogentin, 4mg of abilify.

Hi all and thanks for welcoming me in this community! Here's my brief story with psychiatrists until now: - In the end of 2015 I got a burnout which resulted in insomnia & psychosis. Visited the psychiatrist and was diagnosed with Schizoaffective disorder. - Took Risperidon 2 mg for 2 months + Akineton (anti-Parkinson for the adverse effects) - Took Abilify 7.5 mg for the next 10 months. Stopped it CT with the blessing of my doctor, because I had some adverse effects, the most obvious one was weight gain, but I also had some anxiety in situations like being in a car or train. - 3 months later, being drug-free, I got involved in a road accident, which resulted in a lot of stress and triggered insomnia again. Was too afraid to go into a relapse, so I started with what I had left from the Abilify, again 7.5 mg for 1 month. - In 2-3 months got gradually down to 2 mg Abilify (with mostly non-existant side effects) after some negotiation with my doctor (she sent me out with the words "You know your condition, do whatever you decide" - I guess I was being too pushy). Kept that for the next 2.5 years, as I was travelling a lot on my own. - Moved to a new country, found a new doctor. When I settled down, went from 2 mg to 0 in 3 months. - Around 3 months of being drug-free in April 2019, again after some stress (related to other health issues) and being alone for a while I started getting back into insomnia. Initial symptoms of psychosis started reappearing (paranoid thoughts and delusions), so I went straight to my doctor. After 1 week of Risperidon (this time 1 mg IIRC) and some Zopiclon and a melatonin additive, the insomnia was under control and the psychotic symptoms dissappeared, so we switched back to Abilify, this time 5 mg. I've been on Abilify, 5 mg since then and I don't plan to go lower for now, as I'm travelling again in the next few months. I'm hoping to go down to 2 mg eventually, as with this dose the adverse effects were really tollerable. My sleep schedule is now mostly stable (going to bed around 10 pm and getting 8-9 hours of almost uninterrupted sleep). I got a sleep tracker, I take magnesium additive roughly 2 weeks/month (with intentional breaks) and I started doing mindfulness exercises. I do some light, not very regular exercise in the gym and swimming. I'm mostly interested to hear if anyone had similar experience as mine and what did your doctor say about it - is the insomnia + initial symptoms of psychosis due to the withdrawal (don't know if it's realistic 3 months after stopping the meds) or is it due to a relapse of the underlying condition. Thanks!

Hi all! Before I get into my introduction, I’d like to commend you all, it’s inspiring to see you all stay so positive and consistent in your attempts to reduce/remove these drugs from your life. I’ve been eager to join this platform in attempts to begin my own journey! Introduction I am a F(25) and got sick when I was 24. I was given these drugs due to a FEP. Naturally I am a sensitive/dramatic person so I failed to believe my FEP was actually as serious as stated. Although, I was hospitalized and told I would need to take the medication for a year in order to prevent relapse. Due to naivety and lack of knowledge and the huge levels of sedation the drugs brought me, I stopped them after 3 weeks. Besides I had stopped antibiotics before and never experienced any harm. I was fine for 5 months then I started experiencing extreme paranoia, related to my phone in which I went to the police station in order to report someone tracking my phone. The police sent me to the hospital and I was hospitalized for 4 days, in which I was reinstated 5mg of Olanzapine. I was then released and had cold turkeyed olanzapine again as before I was fine dir 6months and thought it would play out again. 12 days later I had what I call my first real episode of psychosis occurred. I was hospitalized again this time for 1 month. I have amnesia as to what happened in the hospital due to the cocktail I was put on and when I came around I was told I was a paranoid schizophrenic. All this happened within the space of 6 months. Reason for joining I am trying to get assistance to begin my taper as I truly believe my cold turkeys caused my illness. I don’t think I was ill beforehand. I express concern about something I cared about in a manner I saw fit and then was diagnosed as schizophrenic. I didn’t do anything to extreme to receive such a diagnosis. So I am hoping to taper off this drug or Atleast reduce my dose as low as possible as I am on a high dose at the moment. Life post psychosis Many things have changed, in terms of my capability. I am not as intelligent as I was pre-Zyprexa and it’s very evident that the drug has affected my thinking in terms of coherency of thought, conversation and even managed to dampen all of my emotions. I don’t feel anything I am numb and it’s brought me from a super driven highly motivated individual to someone who geninuely does not care about anything. Also lost my sleep and can not sleep untill I take an olanzapine tablet which is also wearing off at the moment. Current medication I am currently on 7.5mg of olanzapine and 2.5mg of abilify. I am not great at maths or anything that has to be done systematically and I have read a lot of the threads already and I can’t seem to find out how to begin this journey of tapering: if anyone could explain it as if I was 6 years old that would be great as that’s the capacity I am working with at the moment. any help or replies or encouragement would be greatly appreciated!

I’m A Phoenix Rising. I’m a 50 year old mother of 6 and I’ve been on psychiatric drugs for the last 30 years. It all started with Zoloft for depression and GAD. I now have 4 or 5 psychiatric diagnoses and about 5 other diagnoses as a result of my psych meds, which introduced even more drugs to my stash, multiple hospital stays and 3 years of ECT. They have destroyed my memory, made me numb and compliant, given me peripheral neuropathy, idiopathic hypersomnia, and ADHD-like characteristics. Not to mention the compulsions I have developed and desperately need to shake, weight gain, metabolic changes, and amotivational syndrome. These drugs, and psychiatrists, nearly destroyed my family so many times and came way too close to ending my life. The almost humorous thing is, up until Aug. of 2023, I was completely in the dark about the side effects and withdrawal from these drugs. No idea! I lived through it a few times yet I had absolutely no one tell me what I was going through was normal. I thought I had completely lost it and that I was destined to live out my life this way (on meds). Looking back now I see how uncharacteristically angry I would get while on zoloft. After my mother died in 2012, while grieving, I went to see a psychiatrist who put me on an anti-psychotic(seroquel), 2 benzos (klonopin & xanax) and adderall (not yet diagnosed with ADHD). My behavior changed drastically. I had a very short affair then decided that I was ready to die. I wound up in a coma for 3 days, then they promptly shipped me to a psych hospital. On 3 separate occasions they gave me a benzo and then refused after that (their funny idea of a taper, I'm guessing). That was the beginning of my very long withdrawal of those particular drugs leading to psychosis (more diagnoses) more suicide attempts, more hospital stays and finally ECT due to being treatment resistant. Lastly, once finding out I was pregnant (in the ER) in 2019, I was told to go off all meds. I wasn’t able to be seen by an OB for 6 weeks. Once seen they put me back on Effexor XR at 150mg (I was on 300mg), then a month later increased my dose to 225mg. Being an older mom, I was being monitored closely yet they didn’t recognize the very serious withdrawal. After looking at my baby’s brain, they told me it looked like “someone put his brain in a blender”. My son had a very rough start, but over time he pulled through. He is now a very loving, active, charismatic three year old! Symptoms of withdrawal; intense anxiety when I've made a mistake. Otherwise it's nagging insomnia and almost constant irritability. ***Life hasn’t always been sour and angry despite what I’ve written here. I am stable now and feel happiness. I have hope and I’m eager to make the changes needed to live out the rest of my years drug free. -Phoenix

Hi Everyone! I consider myself the Kimmy Schmidt of internet forums, having been in seclusion for so long, but I grew tired of hiding . My disastrous dance with Big Pharma started in 2006, when I began hearing voices after months of anxiety and panic over a very traumatizing experience. Cops handcuffed me and placed me in four point restraints after I started screaming in public. The good young Doc at the local hospital they shipped me to gave me Zyprexa, never once asking if I had a family history of diabetes. I DC the drug after a week and about 5-6 months later I had another episode. 2007-2011 A true blur. 4 hospitalizations (two in 2007, one in 2008 and the last in 2011). Three months of sleeplessness due to Zyprexa withdrawal (someone in my life at that time told me that their family member discontinued cocaine in 3 days after years of abuse and I should due the same with Zyprexa - huge mistake), lost many friends due to neglecting their needs and my own, and a crazy amount of weight gain. My voices pestered me to the brink of despair. Yet, I still held on... 2011-2015 The breakthrough years. Switched from Zyprexa to Abilify without major impact on my sleep. Started working again although, not employed at this moment. After a spiritual breakthrough and addressing the demons of my past, I am on my way to permanently breaking up with Big Pharma. I attribute this breakthrough to trusting God and the guiding spirits, reading stories from those who have triumphed or in the process of triumphing over psyche drugs, and seeking support from family (although they still believe in the medical model of my so-called condition). Critical Psychiatry sites that delve into the rampant fraud and fear-mongering present in modern US Psychiatry also provided an alternative narrative to the chemical imbalance-broken forever label that my pdocs dumped on me. For the first time in years, hope blooms in my heart and mind. Will I be the same pre-drug woman? No and in many respects, I don't want to be. Those years in spite of the intensity of emotion that I felt and the warm and love in my heart, I could not take care of myself or establish healthy boundaries. Now I do a much better job of that. I don't eat as much sugar, and I have cut out caffeine and alcohol completely. I'm grateful for the victories, great and small. I want to document this journey for my brothers and sisters in the struggle and build community, because I believe in the healing power of relationships and knowledge sharing over BigPharma's so-called quickfixes. Also, I understand that I need to do the work on my own, to self-care regardless of my situation. A balancing act, for sure. Towards a drug-free me and a brighter tomorrow.

Hi, ive known about this site for awhile. But this is my first post. A breif history about myself. I struggled with opiate addiction and drug/alcohol addiction in my late teens and early twenties. When I got sober, I started to get panic attacks. And was put onto paxil. Ive been alcohol and drug free for almost 11 years (aside from antidepressants, ect) After 7 years of working, it pooped out. And i was left with symptoms that I had never had previously. There is a detailed breakdown in my signature, regarding my dosages, and taper. Upon my recent drops, mainly once I got under 1.25 mg, I expierenced strange withdrawl symptoms. Feelings of dissociation, occasional waves of anxiety. But these generally reside after a few weeks. Previously, Ive only had one migraine in my life before my taper. Interestingly, ive began to have frequent confusional migraines following a drop. It starts with pain behind one of my eyes, coupled with an inability to see out of one eye. Or, distorted vision. This transitions into extreme sensitivity to light and sound. And, not always, but most times, a pounding headache. Also, familiar names and people, I sometimes do not recognize during this period. This period lasts about 4 hours. I know this is all from my abilify taper. The reason I am writing now, is because today is day 1, on 0mg abilify. I take Viva Naturals Omega 3 fish oil (1400mg EPA | 480mg DHA) and Pure Encapsulations Magnesium Citrate 150mg I occasionally take L-Theanine 200mg for anxiety, unsure if it helps or not. If the panic returns with a vengeance, i do have .25mg xanax I can take. But I have not needed to take it, and borderline refrain from doing so. Most of my original symptoms are gone. And I feel that my diet of 0 processed foods, heavy protein//fat from animal products, limited carbs, usually under 150grams a day, and only 40mg of caffeine in the morning have cured my original panic disorder. I am 6'0, 172 lbs, I excercise extensively every day. Any advice, suggestions for possible supplementation, or what to expect from jumping off of abilify at .08mg would be appreciated. Thank you, and I pray that God continues to bless.

Hi. I'm new here. Here are the basics of my story. I had been on 150mg of Zoloft for 17 years for dysthymia and generalized anxiety disorder. I decided to taper off, with the blessing of my pdoc. My depression and anxiety returned, and I had to not only increase the Zoloft to 200mg but add 1mg of Abilify (plus Konopin as needed). It's been a year and a half since the episode began and a year since starting Abilify. I'm feeling quite a bit better--I hardly ever take the Klonopin, and my pdoc said I can try doing without the Abilify. I just went 16 days at only 0.5mg of Abilify, but I'm feeling anxious and depressed again and bumped back up to 1mg. I'm so frustrated with the whole situation. I'm working hard to recover: I'm in weekly therapy, I run just about every day (3-6 miles), and I meditate almost daily. I don't want to come off the Zoloft, just the Abilify. Maybe I won't be able to, in which case I need to come to terms with that. Any comments or questions would be greatly appreciated.

Hi everyone! My name is Rubied and I live in the Netherlands. This is my, hopefully summarized enough, story. I would be immensely grateful to get any response on this thread and to hopefully be able to continue posting so I can get some relief out of the situation I'm currently in. I'm 29 years old, suffered a major trauma/abduction at age 17 which changed my entire life. Barely lived, but survived, for years, without any medication. Moved to the Netherlands end of 2018 to start my career, and started really suffering psychologically with the compounded effects of trauma, moving countries, starting a job etc: depression, starting hearing/seeing things, severe untreated PTSD and anxiety. For the first time in my life I got psychological help, at the end of 2019. In 2020 I was started on 25 mg of Sertraline to help with the depression, which got increased to 50mg in 2021. In 2022, Sertraline got increased to 75mg as my depression wasn't improving much. Due to a psychotic episode I had in 2022, I got put on 5mg Abilify. Then, February of this year, my father died, I got promoted, my job offices changed, and my manager changed, all in the same week. It sparked another psychotic episode and I was put in psych ward for 1 week and increased to 10mg Abilify. Meanwhile, important to mention: I come from a family who never really believed in 'mental illness' or mental health drugs, they believe in 'natural healing' with sunlight and being around animals and so on. I spent some weeks with them and they influenced me to quit my psychiatric drugs as they believe it does more harm than good in the long run. In my latest episode I had a 'vision', where we are living in a type of 'Matrix' controlled by superior beings who are experimenting on us with medications and other random life events. So all of this has influenced me. However, I like to think I am of sane mind currently, and I would much rather pursue a 'natural way of living and healing' and come off this scary medication I've been put on. I have tapered from 75mg to 50mg sertraline for 4 weeks now, so currently I take: - 10mg Abilify - 50mg Sertraline I would like to safely, taper off all my medication, and I know this is the internet, but if you have any good advice for me, I would be deeply grateful. I am currently typing this, very emotional, having spent Easter alone in my room with stomach cramps from nausea of the increased Abilify, and sick of this medication nightmare. I just feel in my gut, no pun intended, that medication is not the right approach with me and it doesn't feel right, those are my main motivators if I have to be honest, besides the side effects which I haven't delved into much. Thanks if you have read this thus far, -Rubied

I have tried three times now to taper off Abilify. My last try I had gotten down to .25mg daily and then I had insomnia for three nights and then went into psychosis. I had to be hospitalized. At the hospital they raised my dose to a very high amount, 10mg in morning and then 15mg. night. This caused akathisia, but got me out of psychosis. I am now back down to 5mg of Abilify. (Under supervision of my psychiatrist) My akathisia is much better, but I think I still have it. I do not know what to do at this point... I really wanted to be medication free, but that is not possible unless I exercised more and took other supplements consistently. So I could try again, to taper off completely,(and risk being hospitalized again) or I could stay at a maintenance dose of maybe 2mg daily. What do you guys think? Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!

Here is my intro thread: ☼-armorall-ct-from-bupropion-and-risperidone Hello everyone! I will relay all the important things that I think serve people in WD (as did me, all I ever did was read the success stories part), then if you want to read more details, there’s a more detailed account following the abridged version, lol. Dosage and Tapering: I’m a 46 year old cis-female. I took 150 mg Bupropion for roughly 4 months alongside 2mg Risperidone for 3 months then switched to 10 mg Abilify for 3 weeks then 20 mg Latuda. So basically I took an SNRI plus an antipsychotic for 4 months. All were cold-turkeyed and no one I touched, not my psychiatrist, his nurse, his resident, my therapist or my GP said anything to warn me about it. I found this site two weeks after I started having symptoms. Trying to figure out how to reinstate drugs was too tricky amongst mod discussions, so we decided that nothing was probably the best solution. Symptoms: I couldn’t sing, write/listen to music, watch TV/music, read, take my son out to parks because I was either too tired/depressed, or the activity would send me into paroxysms of anxiety. At work, I slept through all my prep periods and had to leave early/show up late often because I was so beyond tired, even after sleeping for 8 to 20 hours. I couldn’t eat, I lost 70 pounds in 3 months, I lost 50% of my hair. I had heat dysregulation that would wake me up at night (heat would roll down my body), my skin peels off like a snake. I couldn’t eat sugar or carbs or else it would hyperstimulate me or make me super sluggish. I have tinnitus in my left ear, I still feel tremors at night. If I turn suddenly, either in my sleep or awake, my heart will start to race. Eating food or taking naps will also stimulate intense anxiety. I had to wear sunglasses while using the computer because the light was too bright. I will never be able to take cold medicine, drink coffee or alcohol ever again as it will bring me back to being ridden with symptoms. Hypnic jerks, waking panic attacks, fractured sleep, intense fatigue, floaters in the eyes, sound sensitivity while sleeping, expressive aphasia, inability to exercise for more than 10 minutes because it exacerbates symptoms, I often mix up homophones, and my short term memory suffers. Sore muscles if I do things that are slightly outside of the norm (reaching for a can on a higher shelf, using an unfamiliar computer mouse, twisting my body to tie something that I don’t usually tie, different shoes) will make my muscles sore. Recovery: Month 13 - I turned my first corner. I suddenly stopped having massive anxiety/rage episodes after napping, eating or upon waking in the morning. Month 18 - I then hit another benchmark of improvement. I could workout for 30 minutes without any repercussions. Month 22 - I found myself fully recovered!!! What had happened is that a friend was DJing on the beach and we decided that was a safe enough activity to try. We walked two miles to get there, danced all night, then walked the 2 miles back to car, then I got on the phone with a friend in distress and was up until 4:30am- I got up the following day at 11am and received house guests and never felt any ill effect, no waves, nothing. I realized then that I was fully recovered. At month 22, I could: sleep more or less normally and take naps with no consequence, wake up early in the morning without effect, exercise or dance as much and as long as I wanted to, eat sweets with no effect, listen and enjoy music, movies and other media. I feel like my old vivacious self again. I can work all day, plan parties, and am very active as an activist. I am fully present to my family. My husband and I are now seeing a sexologist (highly recommended) since we had lost our sex life before in withdrawal. It’s fun! At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. If I’m out doing some activity, I don’t notice it, but if I’m home, I’m asleep from the effects. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire (like at work) and in a more relaxed situation (like laying in bed with my husband) where I have to search for the words I mean to say (ex. So…I was at the store and I uh…trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. If I get too hot (while I’m asleep or during the summer sitting in the heat) my heart will start beating faster, but it doesn’t do anything to me emotionally. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! - ALSO thanks to the crew here at SA, aside from trying an acupuncture/herb regimen at the very beginning of withdrawal (which was completely disastrous), I never ever took anything to try to alleviate the WD state. I think that helped me a ton even though I kept asking in the forums about various things to try and noticing how risky it was. I never ended up taking/doing any of it. Just sleep, fish oil and magnesium. That lack of tinkering with supplements, drugs and weird devices probably got me here quickly and in a solid manner. So, please hold off on those for temporary relief whenever possible, it will help your receptors come back earlier in the long run! - I encourage everyone to start dropping reviews and doing what you can to get the word out about our suffering (like sharing the movie “Medicating Normal” - I have the link you can use so people can watch the 56 minute version for free! https://www.pbs.org/video/medicating-normal-kinbho/) once you are healed or feel up to it. I am available to help you write your reviews if you want. Just contact me here or via FB. Link is in my signature. Here is a breakdown that I had on a calendar of what new symptom was showing up/then later going away month by month. Month 1: Insomnia Month 2: Tinnitus Month 3: sore muscles from slight, but unfamiliar activity Month 4: fatigue/depression Month 5: nervous stomach Month 6: getting worse, turmoil Month 7: just absolutely awful Month 8: muscle twitches at night Month 9: more depression, more muscle twitches Month 10: inner tremor Month 11: expressive aphasia Month 12: dry eyes and mouth, more head pressure Month 13: Doing better! No anxiety anymore after dinner or nap. No new symptoms! Month 14: lots of muscle soreness as I try to increase my time on elliptical to 10 minutes Month 15: I can now listen to music and watch movies Month 16: my menstrual period stopped becoming erratic and is a normal cycle can workout for 16 minutes Month 17: Can eat sweets again! No cortisol from taking a nap. Month 18: Can workout for 30 minutes! Can eat A LOT of sweets and nothing happens to me. Month 19: Workout 40 minutes, sleep well even after exercising late in the day Month 20: Average heart rate lower. Up to 1.5 hours of exercise! Can listen to music and it feel the way I did before withdrawal Month 21: Doing well! Month 22: Breakthrough! Dance and walked 4 miles, stayed up all night, still felt good the next day! Month 23: Done! Functioning and feeling normal and good. When to write success story? Extra special thanks to @Shep, @Altostrata and @Undiagnosed1 for dealing with so many questions and keeping me grounded and unmedicated. Special thanks to the following SA members for their constant positive feedback and support: @Superwoman, @mustafa, @Erell, @Glosmom, @coldturkmama, @Hanna72, @ChessieCat, @manymoretodays, @Sassenach, @DrugfreeProf Here is the long and detailed version of my account if anyone wants to read it, otherwise take care and ask all the questions and requests for support that you want! As you can see from my drug history, I started out taking Bupropion and Risperidone after practically forcing (meaning I didn’t know my rights in the hospital, I thought I *had* to do what the psychiatrist told me, I found out later I was wrong. I was hospitalized on my own decision, so I didn’t have to take anything) me to take it via the hospital psychiatrist. Interestingly enough, her reviews show that polydrugging and overdrugging were definitely her thing. One complaint said that someone’s wife was on 9 medications because of her. Anyways, so after debating with the doctor on how deadly psychiatric drugs were (and my crappy therapist calling my husband to tell him to coax me into it because “it’s the only solution”) I was on both. Two months pass and even though I was spellbound from feeling better when I first took the drug, in retrospect, I was the same or worse. What was making me nuts prior to being hospitalized was probably how crazy I was while breastfeeding. I had learned before that I really don’t do well with hormonal changes- couldn’t take the pill without it driving me crazy, couldn’t take the Mirena IUD- just made me hungry and I bled for 6 straight months while others usually lose their period using Mirena. Anyways, so when I took Bupropion and Risperidone, I guess one of the side effects of the latter is that it ups your prolactin levels (related to lactating). So, even though I quit breastfeeding because I was on psychiatric drugs, I was still as jacked up or worse on them. The wellbutrin was super activating for me, too. I remember taking it and at night my eyes just dried out into raisins and I couldn’t sleep until 3am. So later, once the risperidone built up enough, I started getting suddenly sleeping at 11pm and couldn’t stay awake if I wanted to. My psychiatrist took a blood sample two months after I started and noticed that my prolactin levels were high. The next time I saw him, he said he’s switching me to Abilify, and that I should cut the Risperidone in half, take one the next day, the other half the next, then start a half of Abilify and the other half the next day. Yeah, that’s his idea of switching me out. So, 21 days pass and I’m slowly becoming more restless. I can’t lay in bed long enough to put my son down for sleep. I go get a facial and they cover my eyes with something and I freak out and rip one eye cover open. Simultaneously, I’m becoming more lethargic. I stop caring about hanging out with my adorable toddler son. I’m a teacher so I’m off for the summer, but I keep dropping my son off at daycare instead of spending time with him. The idea of having to make him breakfast seems overwhelming. I call the resident (because I can’t just get a hold of my shrink) and the resident approves me going off it. My shrink puts me on Latuda. I have crazy insomnia, then I go off of it. I continue to have insomnia. Mind you, I’m still taking Bupropion. My therapist says that bupropion is too activating for some of her clients. I go off it immediately in hopes of sleeping. After a week, I could finally sleep on my own, no melatonin or anything. Mind you, my psychiatrist knew, my GP knew, my therapist knew- I had happened to see each and every one of them within a week of quitting. NO ONE told me going off cold turkey was dangerous. No one. A month later, I start the heck that is withdrawal. And I’m so lucky I found Surviving Antidepressants at that time, or else I would have been even more kindled. I did go back to my psychiatrist to confront him about not protecting me (the psychiatrist in the hospital *also* never said anything about cold-turkeying drugs being dangerous). He said that withdrawal only lasts two weeks and when I asked him what he thinks I should do, he said he’d prescribe me Wellbutrin again and Trazadone for my insomnia. I never saw him again. So, that was my “taper plan”! And, I was scared to death. Like many of us, my symptoms changed every month, and for the WD-addled mind, it’s so scary. Looking back, some of the changes were very benign, too, like muscle twitches. You can see it all in my history. Through all this, I read success stories over and over. I also got in touch with Michael Priebe of the Lovely Grind as well as Undiagnosed1 who had posted his story here and offered to be an ear to anyone who is struggling. Both helped me, I paid for coaching from Michael (and Baylissa for a time- yes, I talked to EVERYONE- Stuart Shipko, Ann Blake Tracy, you name it!) I know you are not supposed to cling to other people’s timelines and compare yourself to them, or stick to a designated time on when you’ll think you’d be done, but I did it anyways (and yeah, got yelled at by one of my coaches- I won’t say which one). I tried to tell them, it’s just a goal, like when people say they will lose weight by a certain time- if they don’t hit it, they just make a new goal, but it at least gives me hope. So the strange thing is, my timeline was very close to Michael and Undiagnosed1. I was suffering pretty badly about 3 months in, I wasn’t asked back to my school of employment because I was struggling so much at work, my husband served me divorce papers at 7 months in because he was done with me being a wreck in front of our kid and blaming him for my medication usage. The only thing that really saved me was Covid- the courts weren’t in session so my husband *couldn’t* divorce me. We saw a therapist and she said to take advantage of this time to see if we could heal together. With Covid outside, I was able to rest a lot at home. My husband somehow trusted me to be with our son after all that and my son and I would just lay in bed and watch cartoons together and eat or go out to the forest and explore, it was actually really nice as my body continued to buzz with withdrawal. The insomnia portion had really died down after month 5 and I was really, really tired more than that, but of course deeply depressed/anxious. My husband and I still argued, mostly it would be me waking up anxious after a name, then being frustrated from the toxic nap and us getting into it. At month 11, a new symptom was expressive aphasia (it was hard for me to respond with the right words). I was so freaked out and contacted two different people who had had it on SA. Both said they recovered from it (I eventually did, too). Miraculously, at month 12, something in me settled. Like, eating and sleeping stopped triggering such a harsh response from me. I was still pretty messed up, but the fighting stopped. I stayed on that level and taught from home that year, which was also much more relaxing of course than managing behavior and teaching in person. I stayed at that level, then at month 20, I realized I could listen to music fully and it didn’t make me anxious and I could find it pleasurable in the same way that it did before WD. Month 22 we went out dancing and I realized I was probably mostly recovered. Before, I was only doing like 10 minutes on the elliptical (exercise) machine and that was enough to bring on symptoms. Here, we parked the car almost two miles away, danced all night, walked back. Nothing happened to me, it didn’t throw me into a wave or anything. Then on the way back to our house, my friend calls in turmoil. I get on the phone with her and stay up until 4:30am, yet another thing that would have taken me out in WD. Nothing happened to me. We even had guests the next day at noon and I was fine, didn’t feel wavy or even wiped from the night/early morning before! So, I’m sure I’m leaving out a lot about symptoms. I kept a journal the whole time as well as every month I would list on a sheet as it passed, I would write down any new symptoms each month, then after month 13, started writing improvements at each month. I will leave that list in another post as I’m getting tired now. One thing I did notice, expressive aphasia was probably my worst symptom, and after I experienced that one, a month later is when I finally started to get better instead of worse. I remember Undiagnosed1 had kaleidoscope vision right before he got better. So, I wonder if you do get some crazy symptom right before you start feeling better. The biggest tip I can leave here is about “turning the corner”. When I was in withdrawal, I kept scanning and scanning people’s success stories and feeling hopeless. Like, they still list symptoms they still have and it made me feel like no one “really heals”. What I found though, in that month 13 when I turned the corner, is that turning the corner is really the most important event on your healing timeline. Of course you want to heal and feel like your old self again. But, what I learned from that corner turn makes so much of a difference in relief, that once you do it, you know you can handle everything that come after it with ease. I often tell people, don’t worry so much about gauging when you have totally made it to the other side. Just hold on until you turn that corner (which will come way earlier to you than when you completely heal), because I swear, once you do, you know you can handle the rest and you are not suffering so much. That being said, when people post their success stories and they still list some lingering symptoms (like me) know that they probably felt good enough that the bulk of their suffering is over, and that’s why they felt good enough to post. I know it’s true for me, I’m so happy to be able to be happy every single day and have energy to enjoy life and get things done. I do feel resilient and capable, and if I can’t drink coffee anymore at the expense of that, well, no biggie. Only detriment is that when I feel really tired, I have to go to bed, there’s no more pushing through it to keep working with coffee, and I’ll take that exchange over what I don’t have to suffer with anymore. Life is beautiful again, and it will be for you! So, what are my lingering symptoms? At 29 months off now, I still cannot drink coffee, juice and most likely alcohol. I do try every couple of months to drink coffee, because it was my only religion before, lol. Even decaf messes me up (not terribly, but I really don’t want to feel bad at all). I have found though that I’m much, much more peaceful and less anxious than I ever was before WD, because I was a coffee fiend in that past life. I didn’t ever believe that coffee was making me anxious, but looking back, it was. It wore me out, it made me more irritable. Nothing like withdrawal, but still. I am much more peaceful than I was back then and much less irritable. I also can’t eat massive amounts of starch (but I will) it makes me beyond tired. It did before WD but it is brutal now, lol. My short term memory is slightly taxed (you know when you walk into a room and then can’t remember why you’re there? I have more of those), and I have more moments when I’m not talking rapid fire where I have to search for the words I mean to say (So…I was at the store and I uh…(trying to remember what words represent my experience at the store). Nothing big and nothing noticeable to others. I’m really bursting over with life now, constantly enthusiastic, met all the dreams I had when I was in WD, teaching my kid soccer and music, really being there for him and my husband. Gone back to being an activist and loving it. My husband and I started seeing a sexologist (yeah, I had never heard of one either, she’s a friend of mine who was licensed recently, that’s how I knew about it- I can refer you if you want! She works with a lot of people who are suffering from PSSD), and now we are embarking on improving our sex life. I’m at 29 months out. I would have written my success story around 24 months, but I wanted to wait until I was teaching in-person full time so that I could really celebrate being in the space that was destroying me when I was suffering with withdrawal fatigue. One step or one yell too many and it was like I had lost all life and energy. I wanted to come back to the space and see how much I could finally handle it again, with all the love and energy I have for the profession and my children. But…it looks like with how often schools are closing and opening because of Covid, it may be a while before I can actually go back into the classroom (I am privileged in that I can make that choice), so I thought now, while it’s the beginning of the year, is best. I am absolutely indebted to all the staff here (which reminds me I need to make my yearly donation). Without you, I would be kindled and who knows what else. I’d like to shout out Altostrata, Shep, and so many others that helped me along the way. You are incredible and save and improve so many lives. Please please ask any and all the questions you want. I also included my facebook link in my drug history signature if you need to inbox me and it is full. As those before me, I am here to support you, and remind you that you will heal soon.

Heylo folk, Grateful to be here, on this massive learning curve of a journey, in the now, for today. At times this voyage seems so challenging I wonder what I'm doing, at others the determination for authenticity drives me.... I've only read a small part of your shared stories, feelings and experiences, feel there is such a lot to read, absorb and process here.... Not sure where to begin, so I'll just start somewhere, as you do. After getting off booze, antidepressants and mood stabilisers over the last few years. I have now begun tapering on the monthly antipsychotic injection, Abilify Maintena 450mg down to 300mg about 7 weeks ago, under advice from psychiatrist. Before I'd read the 10% recommendation here. Plan is to stay on this dose some 6 months, as Ive come this far, and allow my systems to reconfigure. I am also on Clonazepam 0.5 mg daily, and very occasionally Temazepam 5mg to sleep. I began here with JanCarol and Brassmonkeys awesome success stories, the next thread I turned to was that on anger. Came up pretty fast for me, along with grief, trauma triggering, volume aka voices, misperceptions and some really distorted stories. I am finding developing a witness seems help full, yet can not always maintain such polite clarity. Lets just say the inner banshee hasn't been so inner. I lost it with my partner very recently, in a mirror maze of projection and raw verbals. It was a wake up call, another one. Today we spoke around this very gently and tentatively, as I had recovered enough equilibrium to do so. I have noticed some patterns with this currently, like that from 4pm on especially, a semiconsensual reality tends to distort and morph into a tale that sees me defensive, protective and yes, the aforementioned experiences occuring. External triggers can also bring this on at other times. Between and betwixt there can be potential times for creativity and study, although my capacity to focus aint grand. My body is moving slow. I have cried more in this time than for years, but this feels like a clean emotion. Originally being medicated at age 22, Im now 51. Spooky. Abuse and trauma are present in my story. I am working with strong infusions of dried herbs, oat straw (Avena sativa) and stinging nettle (Urtica dioica), and drinking motherwort (Leonuris cardiaca) tea as a chillax aid. Also taking a shroom powder Lions Mane recommended for brain regeneration. I'm napping during the day as have the flexability to, and it organically began to occur. Im often awake round 3 -4am, I injoy the quiet, low stimulis energy of this time. Usually had enough by 9 -9.30pm. I find daily meditation and a specific mantra clears voices to a certain extent, if I let this go a few days I pay for it. I wear noise cancelling headphones a fair bit. Music supports. Excuse if I've rambled, I just wanted to connect in some while I'm in a relatively calm state tonight....I feel pretty vulnerable doing so but there you go, part of the process.... Thanksgivings....

I took Abilify for 2 weeks, then tapered for a week and quit. Withdrawals have been intense. How long should I expect them to last?

Hello everyone! I'm writing this because I told myself I also wanted to be of help for those struggling one I made out of the mess psych drigs withdrawal is. While I still struggle with anxiety and some ocd, therapy is currently my only prescription haha along with a few other natural supplements like cbd, magnesium chloride spray, pregnenolone, and a few others. My main objective with this is not to say mental illness is not real and that the meds don't work, because they do sometimes and when we decide to come off them is not like our traumas and mental struggles will disappear. But I hope to say with this that it is possible to overcome ssri withdrawal and start a drug free life along with different coping strategies and a good support system. I was put on sertraline 25 mg along with buspar 10 mgwhen I was 15. I was never very consistent with it, but would experience the effects every time I'd try to come off it. I kept going on and off until 21 when I went cold turkey and my life was almost paralzyed from the withdrawals, I was then put on sertraline 50 mg and aripiprazole. The sertraline game me horrible side effects at first and most of the time i was on it. I believe it was giving me mild serotonin syndrome. I then tried to come off and again withdrawals so I was put on prozac and buspar. Stayed on it until 25. I decided to come off, but did a very small tapper compared to what is needed. The withdrawals were manageable at first, but then they came full force. I was throwing up, head spinning, brain zaps, you name it. I thought it'd never end. that's when I found this group and a few other people hwo have through the same on intagram. The success stories in here gave me so much hope, and that's why I wanted to create mine. Yes, it was horrible. The worse was aroound 6 months, then took 18 months to feel almost close to normal, and now its almost two years, and my nervous system is no where near where it was when I came off the drugs. I'm able to drive, exercise, run, wake up with energy in the morning, go to the store without feeling like my world is spinning, and so much more. For me prayer, supporting my body, and believing I was going to be ok, were huge in my recovery. DUring my worst times where I'd feel hopeless prayer became my strenght and usually something would come that reminded i'd be ok. i also found the work of Dr. Ray peat on serotonin. OS when we come off these drugs our serotonin receptors are all over the place and we actually need to lower them most time. This why I decided to go bakc to the doctors and asked ot be presribed Vistaril, hydroxizine, which is a non addictive, take as needed anciety med. Its simply a potent antihistamine, so there is no withdrawals from it. It realy was of huge help at my very worst to bring some stabiity from the nausea, dizinness and racing heart. I really recommend anyone going through withdrawal to try this if they feel like they can;t simply handle it before going back on the ssri's. I no longer really take it as I now take cbd, but it is usually considered a safe drug free of withdrawals if given at small doses as is simply once again, a potent antihistamine. Apart from that, I worked on bettering my thyroid, nutritional level, and make sure to stay hydrated with mineral water and coconut water to help my nervous system. I also impletened a lot of grounding which is supper healing for the nervous system. AT my worst, I'd simply wake up early in the morning to sit on the grass and take in some sun while sipping on coconut water and listening to worship music. That was very healing for me. But I really encourage anyone here to check out the Walsh protocol and perhaps work with Walsh practiciner as they're expect in treating mental illness naturlaly and healing the many hormonal imbalances and nutritional deficiencies behind long lasting withdrawal symptoms. Please also research mind syndrome and german new medicine so you can learn more how your brain has the ability to keep creating symptoms even after the withdrawl is over and also to learn how the body has immense healing abilities and if taken care of and supported it is very well capable of healing from psych drugs withdrawals. To anyone reading this going through the worse right now, please hang in there, it gets better, it truly does! But makes ure you're getting enough rest, being gentel with yourself, and supporting your body with sunshine, minerals, and plenty of grounding if you also wish. I truly think constant grounding was huge in shortening the duration of my nervous system breakdown. Also find your grounding stone, by that I mean that something that gives you a little hope when it all seems lost. I remember when I was barely even levaing my room, I had a lttile picture with a Bible verse letting me know God was in control. I'd look at it everytime i;d feel panic and repeat myself the words in it. I also hope with this post inspires some to find their support in The Faithful father we have in heaven. As you go through this, I promise you, that you're not alone. I remember reading another srri success story on instagram and how at her worst moment she pleaded with God and a humming bird suddenly appeared on her window. She also beautifully stated how most times when she'd feel low the humming bird would suddenly appear. For me it was an orange butterfly and owl. Many times when life just felt hopeless i'd go to my backyard and boom an orange butterfly would come to my greeting. other times, an owl would literally appear out of nowhere, and my mom also oftentimes saw it, so I wasn;t hallucinating form the withdrawls haha! But I hope this encourgaes you and reminds you that this universe is huge and there is a purpose and a reaosn why you're here. You're loved and cared for, trust that. With a little faith and time you'll be an even stronger and better version than you were before all of this. Oh! I also found @cherellethinks page on instagram very helpful. HSe had her own journeyw ith anxiety, a truly life changing one and also took psych drugs. SHe does one on one coaching and can be of huge help for many in here! @brookesiem is also extremely knowledgeable and has her own encouragng story! SHe also answers dm's and helps answers questions you might have, Last one is @livingrootswellness. Theresa is awsome and also usually answers questions about her withdrawal story. SHe also has an eft tapping group and offers incredible information on improbving withdrawals symptoms! Hang in there my friends! This is truly horrible what you;re experiencing. But with some faith and dedication from our part it gets better! Also, I;m sorry for the many errors. I'll come back soon to fix it. I'm very sleepy but felt liek it was alreay time I wrote my story to hopefully help someone out there. I;m not anit psych drugs by any means, I knwo there were likely of help for me at a time, but I do find there are many alternatives to try before putting somoen on a drug cocktail. ALso, i feel like there is no medical training or experience when it comes to tappering patienst of these drugs. Hopefully, with time this chnages.