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  1. Hi everybody, I thought I'd introduce myself, and let you know that I'm going to be starting a weekly withdrawal log to map my progress, support others and hopefully receive support. Below, I've included a few points, and I'll be adding different things as I go on. For now, I wanted to keep it simple and get the ball rolling. Who am I? I'm currently taking 35mg of Amitriptyline for sleep, and as of today (01/01/18), I am starting a very slow taper off the medication. I have taken Amitriptyline since May 2016. Why am I doing this? I've had two withdrawal attempts prior to this, and in my last attempt, I stumbled across this website and realised that it was going to be something of a pilgrimage rather than a quick affair. I've also been interested in writing since I was a kid, and I've recently started up a creative writing practice again and thought that it would be great if I could start capturing my withdrawal journey because it'll hopefully be useful to somebody else in future and also provide me with context and a wider understanding when things start to get tough. My medication history / explaining the situation? I'll try to keep this as short as possible, so I'll use dot points: I have an OCD personality, I enjoy feeling good and things being perfect. I obsessed about sleep a lot. I moved out of home, couldn't control as many variables around sleep and started to get really frustrated when I didn't feel well rested. Cycles of frustration continued for 6 months, before I stopped being able to sleep altogether. This resolved, and was replaced by a 2 - 3am panic attack, being completely unable to fall back asleep. The 2 - 3am rising continued for 4 months, before I started waking 2 hours after falling asleep and being unable to fall back asleep. Tried everything, nothing worked and in my defeat, tried Amitriptyline 30mg. This worked, however the somatic and psychological impacts of the nightly panic attacks and sense of being "broken forever" remained. Withdrawal # 1 I had been taking the medication for about a month, and I was worried about weight gain and felt like a failure for taking it. I was also obsessed with "proving to myself that I could sleep without it now" because I had previously thought I was broken forever. I tried to taper off quickly, using a variety of other sleeping aids to mask the taper. In October 2016, when I had tapered down to about 5 - 10mg, I had a huge panic attack and reinstated, ending the withdrawal attempt. Withdrawal # 2 This withdrawal started in March 2017, when I tried to taper down much more slowly (but not slow enough). I fully came off in October 2017, however due to having family commitments and still working with a high level of anxiety in evenings, I reached my capacity and ended the withdrawal attempt. I reinstated to 35mg because I was so anxious and uncomfortable that I felt like I couldn't relax unless I took a larger dose. What I'd like to achieve? So now that I've had two withdrawal attempts, I realise that the challenge is going to be a combination: The physical and psychological fear of being permanently broken, and unable to sleep again without medication. The physical and psychological fear of feeling tired and how that triggers me. The obsession to feel in control re: sleep, and the fear of relaxing into a sense of flowing with life. The chemical experience of withdrawal. I believe that the process of withdrawing is going to be therapeutic in that it'll trigger each of my fears, and allow me to soothe them directly and rewire my nervous system over the withdrawal period. Hopefully, once I'm fully withdrawn, I would've also cleared out and rewired the triggers around sleeping. Eventually, I would like to be in a position where I am able to relax into the knowing that sometimes I'll sleep well, sometimes I'll sleep badly, and not reject one experience and try to cling to another. What will my taper look like? It's going to be a slow taper, going from 35 -> 32.5 -> 30 etc, in increments of 2.5 per month. I'm aware that I have a limited capacity to approach challenge with composure, so if I need to hold or reinstate, I'm completely comfortable with doing so because this'll be more like a marathon than a sprint and ensuring that I maintain a healthy capacity is going to be key for this. The goal is to feel comfortable at each reduced dose, and spend enough time at each increment that I feel completely confident that I could sleep with this amount. I need to do this, because when I have withdrawn at a quicker rate, I realised that I wasn't certain I could sleep on any of those increments and when I reinstated, I had to go back to the beginning to feel comfortable again. Please note that I'll be sharing more stuff, like the supplements I take, practices I use - for now, I just wanted to keep it simple
  2. Evss

    Evss

    Hey everyone, I would like to introduce myself and hope to get some personalized support. I've been reading through much of the content and only wish I had done so earlier this year. Alas, I find myself in a very difficult situation now. Thanks in advance for having me here. My situation is a little unusual so bear with me, please. I had a health crisis last July (2017) that resulted in severe fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, heart palpitations and brain fog. This came after years of health issues that compounded into an unsettling of my nervous system. I was so freaked out that on the advice of the Amen clinic, I flew down to California in July and had 3 ketamine infusions and was prescribed low dose seroquel for sleep. The ketamine seemed to take the edge off the anxiety, although initially it made things worse. I used an alpha stim right after which really helped and continued using seroquel for sleep for the next few months until it finally stopped working. Sadly, my health crisis lead me to give up completely on life and become reckless. Now I understand it wasn't so much the health crisis but the underlying unresolved emotional conditions that made it so. So from that point on until middle of February 2018, i was adamant that I would end my life and even though I had a lot of support, I really didn't care anymore. I didn't have the guts to go through with it, however and finally decided in February i wanted to live. That's just some background. In late October 2017, I started taking amitriptyline that my Dad had- it had helped him when he went through a severe health challenge and I was desperate for sleep. Because I was so careless, I would take it sporadically and in various doses, up to 150 mg. It's hard to remember but I believe I took it at least every other day. I tried stopping it a few times but couldn't sleep well without it. Looking back, I can't believe I ruined my nervous system with my own two hands- no doctor prescribed me this med So when I made the decision to live, I decided no more amitriptyline because it made me sleep too long and left me feeling foggy, depressed and just generally off. I stopped taking it around mid February and for the next 5-6 weeks, continued to try not using it but would end up having to take some every 5-6 days because the anxiety and insomnia were too much. I then learned that antidepressants shouldn't be abruptly discontinued and decided to reinstate at 25 mg which I did for the next 3-4 weeks. Even with that, the anxiety, insomnia, OCD, fatigue were not improving much so out of desperation last week, i took a big dose of 125 mg and immediately experienced a negative reaction which I believe was serotonin syndrome. Heart palpitations, anxiety, loss of balance, muscle twitching. I got really scared and took about 4 grams of phenibut to counteract this. I then slept for about 15-16 hours and woke up with a crazy mental state- I was crying and screaming uncontrollably the whole next day. Then, because of fear of withdrawals, I took a 25 mg dose 2 days later and again developed anxiety and heart palpitations which I again counteracted with phenibut. The next day, I developed brain zaps and have since not been taking it because i'm afraid my body is now sensitized to it. I saw my doctor today and had him muscle test it on me and my body really doesn't like it. So now I have to cold turkey it and I'm so upset at myself for doing this and worried about how I'm going to make it through with my already super sensitive nervous system. To give some perspective, I needed to sleep at least 12 hours before I ever started this med due to my health condition and even with that I had severe fatigue, light/sound sensitivity and POTS symptoms. Now I have to deal with all that on top of the drug withdrawal which hasn't even started yet and I already have so many symptoms. Has anyone experienced cold turkey amitriptyline withdrawals? I hope and pray I'll have the strength to survive these next few years of my life. I'm already barely holding on.
  3. I have been on citalopram since 2009 then it stopped working. The Dr put me on citalopram and mirtazapine combination which worked for a while then that stopped working. The Dr then put me on mirtazapine and Venlafaxine 150mg XL combination which workes for a while again ans then stopped working. The Dr put me on amitriptyline 50mg saying thay would be the best drug for me while i took 8 months to slowly remove each bead from Venlafaxine capsule to come off it. As soon as I took my last beed i went into crazy angry depression. The dr increased my dosage of amitriptyline from 50mg to 150mg but the side effects were horrible and at this point i got sick of these meds and decided to quit CT. I had horrible withdrawal symptoms and i started acting like a child and not being able to walk, had balance problems. I reinstated back to 50mg amitriptyline since april 2018 and i have been getting worse. I cannot sleep. My vision is so badly affected that i have grainy vision and floaters have increased dramatically . I see after images and it's as if the lights have been turned off. When i begin to fall asleep, i start to have dreams before i actually fall asleep and my brain keep. Waking up just before i am about to sleep. I cannot follow conversations, I mishear things all the time. I am totally dependant on others and i feel people think i have gone crazy. I don't know what to do i am getting worse and worse. I often trip, lose my balance. I hardly have any short term memory and cannot do simplest of things. I cannot even watch anything on TV as i cannot follow.it I'm having major concentration problems. I don't know how. I'm writing this. I cannot work or drive. Please you have no idea how i am putting these sentences together. I need urgent help. Please advice. I have no energy, no appetite. If I'm posting this in the wrong place, please accept my appology as I can hardly read and understand things. P
  4. Mea

    Mea

    Hi guys, Just wanted to introduce myself. After 21 years of being on several types of anti-depressant medications I am determined to completely stop (see history in signature). I am taking 150mg of Effexor at the moment and managed to stop taking it for 8 months last year but the experience was extremely traumatic. I spent about 4-5 months tapering off and then was completely off Effexor for 8 months. Unfortunately I went back on Effexor after the 8 month mark as I was worried about suicide and could literally not function or work or get out of bed. I have never experienced any type of severe depression until this point in my life (2015 when I attempted to go off medication). I didn’t understand what was happening until I found this - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201106/now-antidepressant-induced-chronic-depression-has-name-tardive-dysphoria I would be super interested to know of any individuals or moderators on here who have some knowledge or experience in tardive dysphoria/oppositional tolerance. I am hoping there may be someone out there with theories/solutions on how to go off an anti-depressant like Effexor with some sort of support instead of just going off and suffering for years and years until one day you hopefully might start to feel better? I would like to believe that that the neuroplasticity of my brain will definitely get me there eventually but I am really scared after my last experience and not sure how long I could tough it out. At the moment I am looking into st johns wart, saffron, lamictal and transcranial magnetic stimulation. I find Dr Kelly Brogan's work quite fascinating as well although I have already done everything I can nutritionally. She did her fellowship at NYU Medical Center after graduating from Cornell University Medical College, and has a B.S. from MIT in Systems Neuroscience and has some pretty fascinating things to say about antidepressants worsening the long-term course of depression, anti-depressants actually working via being an anti-inflammatory as well as the treatment of depression through nutrition. She has recently released a book but main stream media outlets have basically blacklisted her, likely because of their primary sponsorship by pharmaceutical companies. My aim is to try and go off of Effexor again but I want to have a better strategy in place this time and some sort of back-up plan so I don't panic and go back to Effexor. Last time was pretty traumatizing. Any suggestions, ideas etc are very very welcome!
  5. Hi i am new here so let me introduce myself and give you the history of why i have become member. I originally got tinnitus about 18 months ago from noise. I was a sound engineer when younger so my past had caught me up. I went and had all tests and was told nothing could be done. I started to get headaches and siatic pain down left side which seem to come on at same time thetinntus did. The doctors prescrided me 20mg of amitriptyline to be taken at night to help prevent migraines and help with sleep. I took it for about 11months but for last couple months i started feeling anxious, paranoid and suicidal in waves. I attended to A&E department who said that only way to tell if the symptoms were side effects of drug was to come off them and that i would have see GP. I went see the GP who didn' t believe the drugs were causing issues and that i had aggitated depression and needed to take different anti-depressent and stop the amitriptyline. I wasnt feeling well and did what GP had said and stoped the amitriptyline with no taper and started citrolpam. I took citrolpam for 4 days but just felt out of it so i stopped it. I didn't sleep for 14 days and had massive waves of syptoms. Went back doctors and he said i was ill like he had said and looked anxious. Tryed get him understand it was withdrawl syptoms. Doctor told me i needed to go back on amitriptyline but 50mg this time. I questioned the dose increase but as i wasn't feeling mentally or physically well i got tablets. I reinstated back onto the amitriptyline but only took 25mg for first week. The withdrawl symtems were still there but slowing a little. Decided to take the 50mg as doctor said as i really didnt know what i was doing by then. Made feel even worse than i was feeling. Friends told me to go back to GP but get second opinon from different doctor. Changed doctor and explained i was in withdrawl and i wanted to come off amitriptyline due side effects. She listened but still really didn't want say it was in withdrawl altho see did agree if i felt i wasnt depressed i should drop back to the 25mg as only been on 50mg for few days. I have had to take 9 weeks off work and am taking 25mg amitriptyline hoping i will stabilise to some kinda human being. At first i was having the windows and waves were as last few weeks i feel like the windows are getting smaller and waves bigger. I saw the mental health team who again avoided the whole withdrawl thing and tryed blame me. I advised her i want get off the drugs and after reading many forums realise i need to do a very slow taper as i am super sensative. I come here as many do in hope of some feeling like i will be able to come off the amitriptyline at some point and regain the person that i feel i have lost.
  6. I was on Paxil 23 years, prescribed as a result of a car accident/mild brain injury - talk about adding insult to injury......my mood was low, I had chronic pain, raising three young boys while also running a family business......I regret the day I put that first pill in my mouth. I had tried to go off them a few times over the years, always ending up pleading to go back on I felt so terrible...”clearly, my condition had worsened, or so they said” i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 plus years ago and amitriptyline was prescribed, in addition to my Paxil. Surprisingly, this condition resolved once i stoped the Paxil? I have recently weaned myself off - drug free Feb/18....during tapering I carefully supplemented with amino acids to avoid the brain zaps (caution needed with amino acids * serotonin syndrome* can cause life threatening event*)......I felt amazing, the unrelenting fatigue was gone for the first time in 23 years, no more fibromyalgia, I was able to easily get out of bed in the morning, no long naps, the likes of which, had become my trademark .......more access to my feelings......unfortunately, this did not last.... Then came the violent persistent suicidal thoughts - from out of nowhere and very unlike me.....the thoughts felt like they were coming from a source other than my own mind if that makes any sense....they became so frightening I stopped all supplementation for fear it might be worsening it, I then tried homeopathy (this is way off the beaten track for me) this has lessened the intensity, they are much more gentle instead of violent but still suicidal thoughts none the less......could this be progress? Feelings of having ruined my life, absolute, utter despair, nothing left to look forward to.......cannot focus - no interest or ability to finish a novel or movie - who cares how it ends.....anger at people ,places and things way out of proportion.....it feels as if all my unfelt emotions over the years are coming to the surface, all at once......I was once very people orientated, enjoyed a good chat and keeping up with friends......now it seems a real burden....some days I do not think I can bear it......but then I get an easier day and it gives me hope that I can heal from this terrible science experiment....and I wonder how many others are struggling just like me........someone mentioned windows and waves - I feel this to be a very helpful way to think about what’s going on ....looking forward to my next window........could it be today? Usually I know almost before I am fully awake if it’s a wave or a window.........I have joined a couple forums such as these and find them to be of tremendous help - Just knowing others have made it to stable ground and that maybe I will too, gives me Hope.
  7. Moderator note: link to benzo thread - Marsx: Am I not taking into account a clonazepam withdrawal? Hello I'm a 28 year old female with a history of anxiety and depression which is mainly caused by severe insomnia persistent since childhood. My insomnia was always my first condition which caused the others. I've been on numerous antidepressants since age 18 being a guinea pig for many psychiatrists over the years. I always felt like crap on antidepressants as I told the doctors I wasn't depressed, just i had severe insomnia. Anyways, for the past 4 years I have been on amitriptyline which was God sent for my insomnia. In hindsight it was just the antihistamines drowsy effect that was helping me. I was on a very high dose of 150mg. Reason is because b4 the amitriptyline I was on Seroquel and again the antihistamine effect and drowsiness put me to sleep and changed my life. But Seroquel was pooping out very fast. I would increase weekly until I was taking 500mg. Finally switched to amitriptyline 150mg and produced the same effect. Was stable on amitriptyline for 4 years until it completely pooped out in helping me sleep. At this point I was tired of all the drugs. I had severe constipation from amitriptyline that caused a bowel obstruction and hospitalization several times and I was sick of it.i was sick of my doctors who were unhelpful. I was sick of my psychiatrists. Everyone sucked. So I completely cold turkeyed off 150mg of amitriptyline. That was 14 months ago to this date. I have been in a living nightmare of suicidal depression along with a host of physical symptoms and brain feeling like it'll explode. Fatigue has been so bad I quit my really good job. I obviously didn't know anything about tapering and thought I was doing the right thing. I hate myself for it. I only got through it telling myself it's just withdrawal and give it one more day. I've been saying one more day for the past year or so and realizing it's not just one more day. Things never got better. I have never been as suicidally depressed as I've been in this past year. My insomnia has not improved in 14 months. I get maybe a max of 5 hours of sleep a week. My hair has fallen out from stress and I'm bald in certain spots. The fatigue has been so bad lately that my body feels it weighs 1000 lbs. I hate my family so I have no support. I finally read about PAWS and realizing how bad my life is and probably won't get better. So I decided to reinstate at 14 months because I simply have no choice. I just can't do it anymore. I can't. I know I can't and I know my only other option besides reinstating and it's not good. So I reinstated at 5mg and I am getting severe tremors. I remember now even trying to reinstate at 4 months in and getting tremors but feeling like the reinstatement helped. The same thing happens when I try Seroquel. In fact when I try a drowsy antihistamine the same thing happens. These tremors are seriously noticible in my face and hands. But otherwise I think the reinstatement helps right away. My entire body is twitching but it almost feels like I'd rather have this then the hell of withdrawal. On a side note I've been doing a lot of research on amitriptyline. I found literature saying it has the same chemical properties as the old antipsychotics which caused people tardive akthesia, taken long enough. It makes sense as all these drugs have a seditative antihistamine in them. I believe it's all connected. I've tried reinstating with Seroquel and the same tremors are appearing but Seroquel also seems to be too much for my system to handle. Ive lost my job. I look like in 50 years old, and just remembering over a year ago I actually still had a joy for life before going off the amitriptyline. QUESTION: checked myself into a psychiatric hospital and obviously they don't recognize paws as a real thing so they suggest ECT therapy for my depression. I'm wondering if anyone has tried ECT for PAWS??? I've never had depression quite like this and it's 100 withdrawal. The physical symptom of brain exploding/burning which I don't know how to explain seems to be the most severe along with being completely bed ridden. I'm willing to do ECT if it helps.
  8. Hi all, I am in a pretty decent place in life, and I have a few weeks with very few ”responsibilities”... I’m thinking it’s the perfect time to finally try to get myself off of my psychotropic of choice, Amitriptyline 100mg 1xday. Ive attempted to get off it before and made it a few weeks before feeling overwhelmed and going back to the pills. I would love some support and a place to vent throughout this process. Looking forward to meeting all of you.
  9. Hi I'm new to the forum. I am having awful trouble coming off Amitriptyline. My doctor is absolutely useless and no help at all. I am currently on 25mg of Amitriptyline. I have been on it for 2.5 years. For irritable bowel syndrome. I have put on a stone in weight, I feel so fat and unhealthy. I have tried 4 times to slowly come off Amitriptyline. But I have really bad side effects when lowering the dosage, even when I go from 25mg down to 20mg I get side effects, I can't sleep and get really anxious that's from just a 5mg drop. I really need help coming off them, because I can't stand being on them any longer. I want to come off them really slowly this time, but I don't know how to start. Can anyone please help. Thanks
  10. Dear friends. I am right now in a very big of a situation. My second daughter is coming into this world due in two weeks and i am as much as a wreck as evere. I had used xanax for on and off very small doses but after two weeks of continuous 0.25 mg usage it seems i got hooked and started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attack. Before that i have had twice problems but i managed to pass them with personal power and sort of other CBT. This time was a bit harder. I Somehow stabilized at start of April on 6 MG Bromazepam and 20 MG Anmitryptiline. After the stabilization i started tapering and failed the first time. The amount went big again up to 6 MG and after a period of 10 days i developed some kind of depression even though i managed to stay at work. Doctor prescribed Remeron 15 MG and i was a bit reluctant to take but i am in a very difficult position right now as my wife is giving birth to my second kid within two weeks and apart from that i have a loan to pay and could not afford to be off so i agreed with the doc to start it. Psychologicaly in the beginning i felt good because with Remeron help i started to make big jumps on the Benzo (Bromazepam) and within 3 weeks i have gone from 6 MG to 0.75 Mg currently. I am still scared though because i have never been on an antidepressant before and there are horror stories all around web about all types of them as well. This is the fourth week i am taking Remeron and is not helping to much with sleep some nights due to my worry thoughts, some more it has side effects (high cholesterol and triglycerides are a trend in my family, me no exception to that) and i am only 40 Years old. There are days when i really feel very bad and hopeless in this situation but somehow manage to push it forward. I need help whether i am doing the right thing and in case yes after i am done with bromazepam most probably in 3-4 days how long should i wait to start tapering Remeron.... One mor thing friends... i have never been depressed for all of my life. OKKKK... i have had difficult moments or periods here and there... but only mild situations. This time the doctore tried to cure me with the reason of my fears.... and i think she failed miserably. Anyway.... i was scared out of proportion after three weeks of xanax and some drinking sessions and all went berserk. Give me some opinions on what should i do???!! Should i wait some days and try taper fast Remeron??? (i will be on them total 4 weeks this tuesday). Maybe i am one of those persons who by chance do not have withdrawals... All the best and keep it tight.... WE WILL PREVAIL.... :-)
  11. Hello, Everyone here seems really wonderful and pretty knowledgable. I am trying to get off Lithium and Risperidone. But I need to do it safely as I am in college and can't take time off like I would like to. It seems it is hard to get off of these meds for many people. I got the "ok" from my doctor to get off of them, as I was only on them to begin with because of some traumatic things that happened in my life and I needed help adjusting.. however my doctor isn't really practicing anymore it seems.. its impossible to get ahold of her, so I am trying to figure out how to do this on my own. I really feel I am ready to be off of them yet cannot find a clear answer on the web as the how to do it. Can anyone help me? I have a very long history with medications (I was pretty sick for about 10 years.. only some of the meds are listed in my signature, mostly just ones during my worst) and while getting off of them, I never had withdrawals from any of them besides Citalopram. Currently, I am on 4.5mg of Risperidone and have been for a couple of years and I am on 1200mg of Lithium and have been on it for the same amount of time. I'm not sure if weight/height/age matter for getting off medications but in case it does I am 5'2 124lbs and am 24 years old. I would like to know how slowly I have to go off of these in order for it to not really effect much of my life or if I just need to be prepared to feel awful. Also, should I go one at a time? And if so, which medication should I start with? I am also on Amitriptyline. I deal with depression sometimes. Will going off of Lithium and Risperidone effect my mood? Also, when I was sick those years, I lived in a room and never left, it effected me very much. Thats why I am on Lithium and Risperidone now. When I re-entered society, it was pretty scary and created a lot of anxiety. Just having to ask someone a question was so foreign and startling to me that I decided to go on these drugs to help lower my anxiety and urges that I would get because of fear. I have readjusted really well, am doing great in school, finally able to talk to people, and hopefully will soon be able to better make friends, but these medications effect parts of my brain that I think I need. These medications make me feel less and I miss feeling what is around me. My art practice has kind of crumbled since I've been on them. They were helpful when I needed them but as I have said, I just feel it is time to be off of them. However, I am worried that going off will effect my ability to think clearly. I have come across this information in a few different places. But all in all, I just need some advice as to how to get off of these. If anyone has any advice for me about anything I have shared in terms of these medications, why I am on them or what to do to get off of them, I would really appreciate it. As I am worried I will fall back into a bad place if I don't go off of Lithium and Risperidone carefully. And although I don't have many withdrawals, I am very prone to side effects. If you have shared experiences or stories with either of these medications that would help me, please share them with me.
  12. Hi - My 10 yo daughter had acute stomach pain for several months (4/13 start). The GI put her on 25mg Elavil daily (7/29). She took it for 2+ months, but ultimately, it was surgery (9/23) that relieved the pain - they found and clipped an adhesion that was pinning her colon to her abdomen, and removed a normal looking appendix. The doctors won't speculate on which or what caused the pain to start or stop, however. She stopped Elavil 5 days before surgery (9/17) and had a very hard weekend, I didn't realize there would be a withdrawal effect, but her heart was racing (initial EKG was bradycardic and by the end, she was at the very high end of normal) and we were a bit panicked about the drug, and knew surgery was a few days away. As noted, surgery was successful, and she spent a couple easy weeks healing from the laparoscopy. All was great until 10/17: four weeks after stopping Elavil she got some acid and nausea. It is now 12/6 and she has constant heartburn and reflux. She has trouble sleeping, she's nauseous when hungry, refluxing after she eats. GI wants to... try another SSRI! Is it possible she is suffering form something related to the Elavil? Has anyone seen something like this? Many thanks!
  13. WuGang

    WuGang: Hello all

    Hello, I am new to this website. A little about me; I suffer anxiety, panic attacks and was diagnosed depression. Many years ago, when I was around 14-15 years old, I was placed on antidepressants (Seroxat). I was later put on Fluoxetine and Amitriptyline for close to 20 years, I'm now 33. This year I made the decision I didn't want to keep taking these drugs and arranged with my doctor to slowly stop them, one at a time of course. It took a couple of months in total with his instructions. It's now been around 2 months off the Fluoxetine and a month off the Amitriptyline. I have been struggling with the side effects since. On and off sleeping difficulties, wild mood swings, constantly angry and easy to temper, and a really bad temper! Depression. But also, problems with my mind, brain fog, difficulty concentrating. It's really hard to explain, I feel dumber since stopping the meds, I know my mind, know how it works and I can tell it just isn't right. I don't recognize my own mind anymore. I struggle to enjoy anything that I used to, struggle to understand or concentrate on the things I used to like. And to be honest, it's been scaring me, I've been really tempted to go back on the drugs just so that I can be me again. Still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. Anyway, that's a little about my story.
  14. Hello, I was diagnosed with fibro in 1994. I was just diagnosed by a rheumatologist with CSS - central sensitivity syndrome. A central nervous system disease/disorder that makes people hypersensitive to almost everything. Here are two studies that might be of interest: Fibromyalgia and Overlapping Disorders: The Unifying Concept of Central Sensitivity Syndromes by Muhammad B Yunus, MD -also: clinical review and education- JAMA April 16, 2014 volume 311, number 15 - Fibromyalgia A Clinical Review by Daniel J Clauw, MD. These articles show how the central nervous system plays a huge role in why so many of us have fibromyalgia CFS/ME, MCS-Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, etc. This explains why I've had so much trouble with antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and withdrawals, along with so many other physical and emotional symptoms
  15. Very long taper of 2 years coming off Venlafaxine, last dose 22 months ago. Took Amitryptaline for a while to soften symptoms. Still taking 45mgs Mirtazapine. Struggling with depression and anxiety but managing to carry out most everyday functions. Is it normal to be still struggling with these symptoms and should I wait for things to calm down befor I start withdrawing from the Mirtazapine. In touch with the Bristol Tranq. project who are very supportive. Many thanks, keep up the excellent work.
  16. Having successfully weaned from gabapentin, I felt ready to begin tapering from duloxetine. Then I found this site, entered my meds & viewed the interaction between them and I feel rather worried and would like help knowing which to leave off first. The ones I'm concerned about are duloxetine, amitriptyline, and trazodone. I also take tizanidine. tia
  17. Hello. I'm a 29 year old male. I took 12.5 mg of amitriptyline for six weeks last August for insomnia before having a serious bad reaction to it. I spent the next three months getting it out my system and felt seriously poisoned and generally comatose. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I was housebound with it but the amitriptyline has left me almost completely bedridden. I feel I've been through the acute stage of withdrawal but the post acute stage seems to be 100 times worse. I've been hit with crushing depression and feel like I cant bear to live another day and just a general feeling of going insane. I've never even expirienced any kind of depression before just insomnia and anxiety. I've lost all my vitality and interest in everything and feel there is no point in being alive but its not me and doesn't feel like an emotion it feels like permanent brain damage. I've been getting slowly weaker since I took the drug and can't even get any kind of panic reaction anymore. It feels like the spark plug in my brain has died and it's absolute hell. My diet has been excellent, eating lots of avocados, walnuts and vegetables and I'm taking all kinds of supplements but nothing is working. I feel like my brain is dying and I'm losing the ability to read and process information and my motivation is completely gone. I can barely eat and lost alot of weight. I'm somehow managing to survive on complete instinct and fighting the urge to kill myself all day. The psychological symptoms started about 2 months ago and started as anhedonia which then progressed into this feeling of complete doom which has got stronger and stronger and now feel completely suicidal. I can't believe what has happened to me. I can't take any other med as I have severe chemical sensitivity and and it will finish me off for sure. Any advice would be much appreciated. I don't want to die really I just want this feeling in my head to go away and just hanging in there praying it goes.
  18. Bonjour je écris de France Je suis laroxyl sous 6 gouttes DEPUIS 2 ans. J'ai Commencer le sevrage en Janvier of this year with a% de 5 au départ et là je suis à 4% TOUS les 15 jours. Je dirais qu'actuellement Tous vas bien, Mis à part Quelques Problèmes gastriques Mais rien Qui m'empêche de continuateur d'avancer. Je aimerais Connaître réellement La Demie-vie of this molécule et combien de temps reste t'elle dans l'organisme ?? Merci à vous ______________________________ Translation to English via Google: Hello I am writing to France I laroxyl under 6 drops SINCE 2 years. I Begin the withdrawal in January of this year with a 5 % of departing and here I am to 4% ALL 15 days. I would say that at present all are well, apart from some stomach problems but nothing stops me from moving forward. I 'd really like to know The Half- life of this molecule and how long it remains in the body you ?? thank you
  19. I started tapering from Prozac, 40 mg and Elavil 40 mg in Oct. 2015. I did not know if I could do it. One of my motivations was 3 years of chronic pelvic pain which started while I was on medication. Then all through 2016 I got sick. I spent 2016 in bed, mostly too tired to do very much and the withdrawal from the drugs was one of mostly forgetting to take the medications as I felt sick and had pains and distress, malaise, flu like symptoms In Nov. 2015 I got very dizzy. In Jan. 2016 I noticed that I had electric zaps up and down my spine and inner trembling. I became so weak in August of 2016, I could barely do anything. It felt like I had infections but I never had fever. By Dec. 2016 I had severe pelvic and groin pain. I could barely sit in Jan and Feb 2017. During all this time I felt ill, but not depressed. Today, I started to feel clinical depression coming on. I have seen a neurologist who discounted my symptoms of neuropathy. I notice that anything can trip the inner trembling and inner electric zap feelings on. In the past and recently there were no explanations of gynecological pain (all tests normal) or abdominal pain ( had 2 colonoscopies). I could put up with all the symptoms - but now 17 months after I started - I am really depressed. My nervous system seems to be hyper and reacts to everything with very subtle neuropathic symptoms which the neurologist discounted. I thought about reinstating prozac but I am scared. I was on antidepressants for 20 years and could not discontinue any of them before. This is the first time I made it - but I think I have peripheral neuropathy and I may not be able to reinstate to any antidepressants. I am still seeing my psych doc thinking that I should go back. But would it be safe?
  20. I was put on Amitriptyline originally for migraines. Over a 3 month period I tried 3 different drugs - Amitriptyline 25mg 10 days Topamax (anti-convulsant) 25mg 28 days Pamelor (TCA) 10mg 8 days Amitriptyline 10mg - 20mg maybe a month (they told me I could take 20mg on bad days) Two days after I stopped, I couldn't sleep the entire night. I called my doctor and they said because my dose was so low, it was fine to go off the way I did. I functioned for 3 weeks and then it hit me like the flu. It's been almost 7 weeks since and I have experienced: Muscle spasms Weakness in legs/parasthesia/leg pain Electric sensations which feel like nerve pain in arms and legs Insomnia Body aches (worse in morning) Eye twitches Loss of appetite Light sensitivity - hard to look at anything on phone or computer None of the doctors will acknowledge my health declined after I stopped. I have had so many tests including a trip to Columbia University for a neurological work-up, rheumatological tests, viruses, MRIs, thyroid, Lyme, glucose, etc. I am considering trying Lexapro liquid at 10 and then tapering down to see if it helps any of my symptoms. I am 32 years old and am not really functioning in my daily life. I just opened a business this year so I have to get my life back on track soon! My husband or family doesn't really understand and it makes it so much more stressful! Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
  21. Hi, I'm glad to be here, I have been here before, had to do withdrawal way too many times before. I could really use your encouragement and support, I feel so alone, not too many people understand this nightmare. I'm now tapering Abilify, I was on 5mg now Im on 2mg, for almost one year now. Im also on 50mg Amitriptyline and 20 mg buspar. I went on these meds because of a con man pharmacist, that told me I could take high doses of progesterone to help ease withdrawal from a muscle relaxer I was tapering off of. My story is long and complicated, in a nutshell, progesterone in high doses can act as a benzo, with my 20 year history with benzos, that wasn't good. I was on 800mg of progesterone cream. Then I was cold turkeyed off of it,estrogen and the muscle relaxer (zanaflex). I was a complete mess!!! I wound up in the hospital, where they put me on amytriptaline, then later the buspar and abilify. Anyway, Im now tapering the abilify, I feel very anxious,nauseous, morning adrenaline surge and depressed, its horrible! I may have tapered too fast. I have read your posts on tapering to go at a rate of 10% per month. I know all to well about this, with my benzo history and all. I cut the 5mg pill, in half, and was at 2 1/2mg for a couple of months, now Im down to 2mg, been here for about 15 days. Its weird, I had a couple of good windows while on the 2 1/2mg dose, but it was up and down though. Now at this 2mg dose, I'm REALLY struggling. What do you think??? Any advice would be welcome. I know cutting is not the best way to do this. I now have a gemini scale, and plan on taking it down much slower. I would titrate with water, but I don't think abilify is water soluble. I sleep really good, the amytriptaline help with that. I will eventually taper that and the buspar. I don't think buspar has done much for me. Thanks for reading, look forward to hearing from you.
  22. Hello, everyone. Before starting my topic I want to thank founders of this site, stuff and everyone who is writing here. I am visiting SA for many months almost daily. This site helped me to survive. Many times I wanted to start my introduction topic and join discussions but I was not sure that I can express myself in English. The story of my meds started in 1992. I was hospitalized with PTSD. That time I was underage and no one asked me if I want meds. My parents did not have any idea about psychotropic drugs and became agree with doctor’s choice. First day I spent in the transparent room where all kinds of sick people and drugged people stayed on arrival. In the evening I got my first injection (seems to me Diazepam, but may be I am mistaking). This injection switched me off for 2 days. I was living in fog, could not recognize relatives etc. After that they shifted me to the normal room and doctors started their treatment. So many years passed and now I can't remember all medicines I got in that hospital. I remember for sure Haloperidol, Amitriptylinum, Cyclodol. There was something else (actually it was a huge drug cocktail), but I forgot the names. I stayed in hospital for 40 days and then I was prescribed to take them further, but I followed the advice only for a month, and then abruptly stopped taking pills. As a result, I got what was expected – derealization, insomnia, tremor, nausea, mood swings and much more. It lasted for few months, then it got better. No w/d symptoms for many years. Now I understand how lucky I was that time. Of coarse I did stupidity that I dropped all meds at once. If I tapered slowly I would not have all those consequences. Anyway I recovered comparatively fast (and I guess I would recover from my trauma even faster if I did not go to hospital). I have no idea why my recovery was so successful that time. May be I was young and body was actively helping itself… Or may be meds were different… I don’t know for sure but people say that old meds do not form dependence like latest generation of meds do. May be true may be not… It could be too that I was taking those drugs just for 2 months that’s why w/d was not that much bad. So that story was burried in past and I could never imagine that I would take these meds again. But in 2013 it happened. Severe stress triggered the depression (insomnia, loss of weight, anxiety etc.) and since then another story of meds started. I know I had to be more careful because I already had experience of taking psychotropic drugs. I told about it to my doctor but she convinced me that 20 years before medicines were different and now they have such advanced technologies blah-blah-blah So I believed there’s nothing to worry about and agreed to take Magic Pill with beautiful name… Paxil. And this was begging of my nightmare… Sorry I can’t tell all my story today. But I will definitely do it later. Thanks to everyone who red my story.
  23. First I apologize ahead of this is worded awkwardly as I'm not in the best of places. Was tapering K until major abdominal surgery Sept 2014. Developed a near fatal spinal infection from surgery then had to taper off three narcotics from that and then baclofen. Two weeks after baclofen wd ending I cut on the bz taking me to 1.375 of K. (Start dose was 12mg K as of 2011) A few weeks later I cut K again in a small cut. I had to go back up to 1.375 as I couldn't cope. Realized I'd pushed myself too hard and health was deteriorating both physically and mentally. I've been holding on cutting everything and now I have to move probably January 1 of 2015. I am alone in every respect of the word so I have to be able to look after myself. How this relates to antidepressants is that after looking at the fact I am on 100 mg of Amitrip and how it interacts with other drugs I'm on (PPI, acid blocker, thyroid and BP med) I'd pretty much decided it wud b best to get off the amitrip before finishing the benzo taper. I have been doing reading on here about tapering Amitryp and I came across something saying that one should not taper Amitryp if tapering a bz. This was not meaning both at the same time but regarding the entire process of tapering both separately. I've scoured this site and for the life of me I cannot find this info again yet I'm positive I read it. This leaves me in a quandary as to what to do... Continue the bz taper or do the Amitrip. I'm open to both of course but want to proceed safely. I am aware of all slow tapering facts so that is not the issue. The issue is which to do safely first. All this is complicated by this move. I've been holding on the last K cut for a bit over two months to regain physical strength. In this time I've yet to begin having anything close to a restorative sleep and I'm experiencing really crazy stuff I've not before in the now 5 years I've been tapering. Its reached a point I go a night without any sleep at all. The next night I'll sleep and then half the morning. I'm becoming a total wreck and I've got this move. I realize this point probably covers a ton of "issues" that perhaps need be dealt with separately but I'm unable to do so in the mindset I'm stuck in now. I feel at the point of crisis. Plainly and simply I don't know what to do. Any insight is appreciated especially in regard to whether taper bz or Amitrip given what I'm positive I read on here as to it not being wise to taper amitrip if in the middle of a bz taper. Thank you so very kindly ahead of time for any help. I'm losing hope. This has been a very lonely journey and I'm without support at all except online. Thank you again.
  24. I'm so glad to have found this forum, I think this is just what I need to finally get free of the tricyclics that I've been on for most of my life. It's really amazing to me that I've actually been on drugs for so long, without any really serious attempt to break free until last June. I always assumed that I could get off it fairly easily if I wanted to, after all, I had missed a night or two now and then, and aside from disturbed sleep and sweats, it was totally bearable. I didn't really get the fact that I wasn't going to get the real effects of withdrawal until I was about a week out. Then the s*** really hits the fan. Amitryptiline was my way of dealing with low-grade depression, and the 4 o'clockies that came along with that. A few years ago I started dealing with perimenopause, and the insomnia issues become much more severe. Eventually I started on progesterone, which was a godsend for me, and my depression has completely lifted. At the beginning of last year I got very serious about the insomnia issue, and getting very healthy in all ways--the list of things I have done for insomnia could fill a book. Suffice it to say that I'm very healthy otherwise (great diet, sleep hygiene, etc..) and I'm tired of being on this drug! I know it is messing with my blood sugar and interacting with the hormones. I've got to simplify things. In June I made my first real attempt to get off. I was only taking 6 mg. at the time, so I naively thought jumping off would be fairly easy. The first week wasn't bad, just light-headed and spacy, a bit of an upset stomach. But by week two, my stomach was in a total uproar, insomnia came back with a vengeance, and I started to feel positively ill. Then I finally did some research and realized this was not going to be easy. I have some experience with tapering off of a benzo, so I know the principles. Can believe I was so clueless! I bounced my dosage up and down for years, never really understanding what I was doing to my body. Currently I'm on 12.5 mg. amitryptiline. My sleep is still very unsettled with the hormone changes and addition of estrogen. I'm going to try to stabilize and get my sleep settled, on the estrogen for a while longer, as the sleep I do get is much better quality (very deep and restful). If I can't (too much reliance on sleeping pills) I'll have to drop the estrogen and reevaluate. Once I am stabilized my plan is to start a very slow taper. I figure it will probably take about a year. If anyone has feedback on this plan, or familiarity with a tricyclic taper, I'd love to hear from them! The idea of finally being drug free is very exciting to me.
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