Jump to content
SurvivingAntidepressants.org is temporarily closed to new registrations until 1 April ×

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'fluoxetine'.

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Categories

There are no results to display.

Blogs

There are no results to display.

Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Success stories: Recovery from psychiatric drug withdrawal
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
  • Current events
    • In the media
    • From journals and scientific sources
    • Events, actions, controversies

Categories

  • Articles

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

  1. NeedMoreHope

    NeedMoreHope: Prozac

    Hello SA Community, I am new to the site, but have been reading a lot of info here over the past 2 1/2 years. I am in a bad place... I was on 20 mg Prozac for many years, and was told by a Dr. in Feb 2018 that I could just "stop it". Well... I crashed bad. I didn't know what was happening, and over the next year and half, I was given over 22 different meds (including back on Prozac and numerous AD's, benzos, sleeping pills, BP meds, mood stabilizers, and lastly, an antipsychotic). I deteriorated more and more and finally decided to get off everything. I am down to my last 5 mg of Prozac. I have suffered very much - my biggest symptoms have been horrible insomnia, dark depression, intense anxiety among others. I haven't had but a couple of days of windows in the past year. I am just losing hope. Will I get better? I am holding at 5 mg for a long time (just reduced 2 weeks ago). I think I did EVERYTHING wrong.... Thank you.
  2. Been on and off antidepressants for the last ten years. Prescribed amiltriptalian 2012 to relief arthritis pain. CT as requested by surgeon pre operation 2013.. PTSD diagnosed by dr after surgery prescribed Dosulapin 2013. Was swapped to another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was duloxetine. CT. Cant remember year swapped to gaberpectin to help with OA!!! CTed. Eventually another antidepressant after a couple of years think it was fluroxetine?? No taper. Tried to come of but didn't understand taper diagnosed paroxetine 2019 30mg also given amiltriptalian to help with sleep again but luckily didn't use it. Been reducing current meds since 2021. Now doing ten percent taper every 4 weeks. Ups and downs!!!! use breathing teckniques, mindfullness,graditude diary,crafting , nature, essential oils, baths, books,support services such as berevement phone line, samartians, therapy of NHS for free or cheep charity counsellors but essentially do it all alone, no support from family limited support from friends
  3. Hi I hope that someone will be able to give me some kind of hope. I have been tapering from 20mg of Prozac and am now down to 4mg (for the last two months) but the side effects have been awful - mainly chronic fatigue, terror attacks, anxiety and generally feeling like I have the start or end of flu. Should I stay on the 4mg until this subsides? I was also on Venlafaxine 75mg (until about a year ago - but my GP withdrew me from this in a matter of weeks) so I'm not really sure if the symptoms are also due to this too.
  4. I was on antidepressants for 16 years - mostly SSRIs and Wellbutrin. Today I am celebrating being off of them for 5 years. It was a very difficult road, but I am, for all intents and purposes, recovered. My life is normal now. What few symptoms I have are almost nonexistent, brief and passing, bearable. So many times through the dark tunnel to today I thought I was damned forever, but I made it out. My first answers came from this site, and I am thankful. If you are in that horrible dark tunnel, hang on. Know that even if you don't see the light now, it will come. Keep walking.
  5. Hi all, I have been meaning to update here for some time now. I was thinking recently about my very early cold-turkey withdrawal and how I would read and re-read recovery stories or hunt for sun symbols within member's journals for hours because I was so desperate for any accounts of improvement and healing. I hope this gives people who are having a very difficult time a bit of hope. I stopped Paroxetine cold-turkey while on holiday in Rome in 2015 - I was feeling fatigued all of the time, having long naps everyday. I felt my emotional responses were blunted but I also had a strange edgy feeling much of the time - something felt 'off' and I had a sense it was the tablets so I naively just stopped taking them. About five days or so later withdrawal symptoms set in and I was very unwell, I ended up in A&E with heart irregularities. Predictably I was prescribed more medications (including diazepam) and I think people around me assumed I was having some kind of breakdown and the symptoms with my heart were the result of panic attacks. I felt conflicted because what I was experiencing - the combination of physical and mental symptoms were so bizarre and far reaching. So I started researching and found myself here - thank goodness for this forum and for the hard work Alto and the moderators put into it. It was such a lifeline. But coming to understand the phenomenon of withdrawal, the uncertainty of a recovery time frame and how dismissive health professionals are was devastating. I spent a great deal of wasted time trying to figure out a way to 'fix it'. I went to see Dr David Healy in Wales and his main advice was to exercise - which I did do and I found it helped me but I know that isn't the case for everyone. I experienced depersonalisation, an impact on my ability to sleep, neuro emotions, intrusive thoughts, physical jerks. heart irregularities, weight loss, issues with my skin and severe brain fog/memory issues. The early part of my withdrawal is somewhat haunting and blurry at the same time, it was incredibly difficult and I felt a need to contain everything because I was so worried people thought I was coconuts. I had graduated from uni a year previously and was having a break because I had been battling with anorexia for years and wanted to focus on overcoming that, so I didn't have a job to get to, I didn't have children to look after. Hats off to anyone who has to navigate these things in the throes of withdrawal. I spent a lot of time reading. It had always been something I retreated to and my mind would race and I would keep forgetting what I had read but I would just keep returning to it, it was almost like a meditative practice. I also tried to do crosswords and codebreakers and exercised, I spent a lot of time with my parent's dogs. Withdrawal pulled me out of my eating disorder. I was already underweight and lost more and more to the point where people stared at me when I went out. Having these symptoms thrust upon me made starving myself seem so ridiculous. Over time symptoms peeled away, withdrawal felt less and less like an enormous shadow looming over me. I had and still have some anxiety about how I am not the same post-withdrawal in various ways and I am not as capable etc etc. I still struggle with brain fog at times and I still have memory issues which at times can be incredibly frustrating and embarrassing. But the whole experience demanded strength and perseverance and patience and it's given me such a sense of resilience. So trust that it gets better, much better. I am hopeful my remaining issues will eventually improve. Hang in there. Sadie.
  6. Hello everyone, I registered on this forum a while ago, and finally decided to introduce myself as I'm thinking about trying tapering from my meds again. I have read through the threads of tapering off lamotrigine and fluoxetine before but would like to hear other people's history with these meds and not just on tapering but also if you experience similar side effects(?) while on them. Here's my history of psychiatric medication (sorry that it's so long, I wanted to give all the important details) : I'm in my thirties. I've been on psych meds for three years. I was first put on them after I got a serious burn-out/depressive episode. It was most likely caused by very stressful work conditions (I am a social worker), but I remember having similar but much milder episodes before that. My main psychiatric "symptoms" were always very physical : mostly crushing fatigue, low-key anxiety that feels like tension in my chest. Mentally it's usually a lack of interest in anything and hopelessness, sometimes light derealisation. I have been on several different drugs and drug combos in varying doses (fluoxetine, lamotrigine, venlafaxine, fluvoxamine, sertraline and occasionally several benzos to deal with acute anxiety) which never "worked" or "stopped working" after a while or seemed to make things worse. Since then I went through several episodes of doing "better" and then the return of the above-mentioned symptoms. Until July 2022 when I was put on a combination of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine, which seems to be the combo that seems to be "working". This is what I am taking now. My mood is pretty stable (although kind of flat). Anxiety is low or non-existant. I can function okay on it. However I feel "off" and I have a hard time telling if it's the meds, residual "symptoms" of depression or something else altogether. I experience morning grogginess, constant light somnolence during the day, fatigue, sluggishness, muscle weakness, feeling a little "out of it", almost a little drunk, difficulty concentrating, slight memory issues and a sort of flat feeling where I don't feel particularly happy not sad. Most of the time these symptoms are light and I can function more or less normally but I have some days or periods when they become more severe and everyday life becomes more difficult, especially at work. I used too exercise a lot, for example. I used to love climbing and running and now it's too hard and not exciting at all. When I mention these thing to my psychiatrist he always seems to be slightly skeptical and keeps saying that fluoxetine is a stimulating rather then sedating drug and that lamotrigine shouldn't be causing somnolence especially at such a small dose. After doing well for several months on this combo, my psychiatrist agreed that I may taper off fluoxetine if I wanted to but insisted I stay on lamotrigine. He suggested I to do the usual alternating one pill and half a pill for a few weeks, then half a pill every day, and so on. I think I stopped fluoxetine over a period of a little over two months. I understand now that that was a very quick taper even for fluoxetine (I didn't know it then). However, I don't remember any serious withdrawal effects aside from maybe occasional slight dizziness. It seems that sleepiness and fatigue decreased at least at the beginning although didn't go away completely. After being completely off of fluoxetine for two weeks or so, I started having the depressive symptoms again which led me to believe that I really "needed" the drugs so return to my usual dose and felt better quickly but return to my usual slightly "sluggish" state. Later, when I learned about psych meds withdrawal, I started to suspect that maybe it wasn't a relapse but rather withdrawal effects from a quick taper and decided to try tapering off again but much slower. This is where I learn about antidepressant withdrawal. My psychiatrist agreed to prescribe me fluoxetine solution which allowed me to taper in a more or less recommended 10% increments. I was taping very slowly over a period of many months. Again, I don't think I had many usual withdrawal symptoms aside from some light dizziness and occasional slight agitation. But then I started to get impatient and especially started to suspect that sleepiness and sluggishness was mostly due to lamotrigine. So I started to taper off of it, at the same time (which was stupid, I realize), and very quickly (stupid) because lamotrigine pills dissolved very badly in water and I felt like I couldn't get the right dose at all. So I want from 100mg to 75mg and the after several weeks to 50mg. Again, I don't think I had any symptoms that could be attributed to withdrawal. But when fluoxetine was close to 10mg and lamotrigine at 50mg I slowly started to feel the return of depressive symptoms, and particularly the crushing mental and physical fatigue. Everything became hard again and I barely could go to work. So after struggling for many weeks I decided to return to my previous dose of 20mg fluoxetine and 100mg lamotrigine. I started to feel better quickly. I returned to my usual sluggish state but at least I could get out of bed and go to work and be able to manage. I started to believe again I may need to take these drugs for the rest of my life. It's annoying to always be sleepy and sluggish and I still want to stop the meds. Not only because of the side effects that seem to be causing, but also become I am not sure they are "actually' helping. I don't know what to believe about the actual reasons of mental difficulties. My symptoms always feel very "physical" and I am unsure how they can be dealt with through therapy, for example. So this makes the biomedical theories sound plausible. But at the same time I've been living without meds in the past and there are so much evidence about their ineffectiveness. And I often wonder how much of its action is placebo effect in my case. So I am planning to start tapering off fluoxetine again, by 10% increments and then eventually hopefully off lamotrigine (which seems to be the recommended way). But I'm afraid to not have enough patience again, or to being unsure what are symptoms symptoms, what are withdrawal symptoms and what is normal part of ageing or some other medical problems altogether. I would like to hear other people's experiences. By the way, I take both fluoxetine and lamotrigine in the morning. I tried taking them at night or splitting the doses and it only made things worse : worsened sleep, intense and vivid dreams and increased grogginess and sleepiness.
  7. I'm ******. My signature pretty much sums things up, but leaves out the In-depth details of the journey with this drug. My biggest fear is that I began taking the med as a teenager and while my brain was still developing. I can't help but wonder about the impact Prozac had on my neuro- development and what that means for me now and in the futures he last time I kicked the Prozac habit it lasted 4 months before I finally gave in to the withdrawal symptoms and resumed taking Prozac again. It's so hard to describe how bad it was and what it felt like. The physical symptoms alone were unbelievable. I honestly wasn't sure I'd survive it. Right now there are periods of anxiety and fatigue and irritability, but they are tolerable and slowly abating. When they do I will decrease my dosage again. That's how I'm playing it this time. Decrease, survive withdrawal symptoms till they [mostly] abate, then decrease again... Then on like that. I don't ever want to experience what I did the last time.
  8. Hello, My name is Leyla, I'm a 27 year old from Saudi Arabia. When I was 20 I went through a depressive anxious period during college and I started therapy then was referred to psychiatrist and started Lexapro. At the time, it helped me very overcome the crippling anxiety and at a point I was taking 20 mg which made me overly sleepy and low energy ,but also less anxious so I was happy with the result. 7 years went by and I was unaware that I have become fully dependent on the medication I forgot how it feels not to be on it. I decreased my dose gradually to 5 mg and was continuously advised not to quit whenever I tried because of how withdrawal was so bad it felt like a relapse. My doctor advised me in November 2022 to cross taper to 20 mg Prozac since it has a longer half life and so I did. I really want to quit medication and start following a holistic approach in dealing with anxiety and so I started taking the 20 mg dose every other day this month April 2023. So far my withdrawal symptoms are headaches, anxiety and seeing weird dreams. I am tapering on my own as my psychiatrist thinks that 20 mg Prozac is so low I can just stop taking it overnight, but I don't want to risk it so i reduced it by taking it every other day as I don't have access to 10 mg or liquid form where I live. I read some forums here that 10% taper is the safest way to quit, should I invest in a scale and start measuring the powder in capsules or would my current approach of gradually spacing my doses work? Also if you know any trustworthy psychiatrists I could contact online or any resources that could support me during my journey that would help. thank you,
  9. Just came across this site, wish I saw it sooner! My primary care doctor put me on celexa 20 mg in 2012 for some mood issues. Started seeing a psychiatrist in 2016 who then put me on 40 mg celexa. Switched to effexor, not sure about dose in 2018, then switched to 10 mg prozac in 2020. Tried coming off cold turkey in 2022, was fine for 3 months then withdrawal hit, psychiatrist had me reinstate to 10mg and I stabilized. April 2023 psych had me drop 1 mg every 1 months until I got to 1 mg in December 2023. January 2024 went down to 0.5 mg then February 2024 went down to 0.3 mg. The crash came at the end of February 2024. Psych had me updose to 3 mg which I've been on for 8 days now. Thought I felt some improvement with the updose but still having periods of severe anxiety every other day. My question is should I stay on 3mg for a few weeks and see if I stabilize? Thanks for any input.
  10. Hi Everyone, I am just going to jump right into this. I developed anxiety 4 years ago after having several life crisis in a months time. My mom was diagnosed w Dementia. My little sister was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer. I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma.A childhood friend died in his sleep from heart failure. I tipped over from the stress. I went to my GP and she started throwing AD's at me to help silence the anxiety. The AD's only made me worse. I went to the ER one night after experiencing my first panic attack The ER Dr gave me a script for Ativan. I took it for four weeks and then stopped because I was feeling much better. A few days later my world turned on it's axis. I didn't know what was happening. My anxiety was worse, I was pacing, heart racing, Panic attacks daily.... I went to my GP and she said I needed to see a Psychiatrist. To get in to see anyone was 3 months. I started to spiral. I had no idea I was in withdrawal! I ended up in the hospital to get help for my anxiety. I was put on Effexor (75mg)and Klonopin (.25mg). I stabilized and was sent home. I did really well on Effexor. After 4 months on Klonopin I started to slowly taper off. I tapered over 3 months. The taper went pretty well. I was cutting and weighing my pills. 8 months after that I felt good and talked to my Psychiatrist about tapering off of the Effexor. She strongly recommended to go slow and we did. I tapered for almost 7 months. To be honest, the Klonopin was easier to come off of than the Effexor. She put me on Prozac before my last cut of Effexor. Tapered off of the Prozac over 3/ months. I still had some anxiety but it was tolerable. It felt AMAZING to be free of AD'S and the Benzo....then COVID hit and my mom passed away. Anxiety came back w a vengeance. I ended up back in the hospital after a very bad reaction to Zoloft. My new psychiatrist kept telling me to "push through," the first 3 months. I was back on Klonopin but now it was.50mg twice a day.The hospital took me cold turkey off of Zoloft and started me on Remeron and Trazadone. The next day they added clonidine. The klonodine didn't agree w my system at all and I was taken off of that in two days. They released me from the hospital 5 days later. I lasted two weeks on Remeron. I was so disoriented, confused, high anxiety and felt like I could become violent on them so they weaned me off of that over 4 days and put me back on Prozac. Prozac didn't help my anxiety, I had constant headaches for months! I did get an MRI and it was normal. I started to feel more and more depressed on it. I was on Prozac for maybe two months when my psychiatrist took me off of that (tapered over 6 weeks) and put me on Lexapro. I had to have back surgery during this. I did NOT take a single pain med out of fear of making my WD worse. At first I thought the Lexapro was helping? I was still having breakthrough anxiety so he bumped it up. My Psychiatrist retired and a new woman came in to take his place until they could find a new one. She bumped my Lexapro up to 25mg when I told her I was having major anxiety rushes, my face would get bright red, I wasn't sleeping very well. That increased dosage was the worst! I was like a zombie but w heightened anxiety. I couldn't work, I would sit at my desk and space off for hours! I felt awful. So, she told me to start tapering off of the Lexapro (4 weeks total! I knew better...) and she wanted to cross taper me onto Effexor. I started that and boy....the depression was BRUTAL! I was not sleeping well, could hardly focus, anxiety was high, my legs felt like jelly, my head would burn, I felt my brain tingle all the time... I was nearing the end of my rope. I was desperate for a Psychiatrist that CARED. The interim Psych left and a new one came in. She wanted me off of the Effexor because she felt it was too hard to come off of and if it didn't work for me, I would be in for hell. I told her I was scared to switch AGAIN and she assured me that switching to Duoloxetine was it's "sister drug," and I shouldn't have an issue. I trusted her. The last 3 months have been.... (How do describe this hell?!) a daily battle to push through hell on earth. I am still working, I can still function, I take care of myself, my home, my dog. I am a divorced woman with a 22 year old son. I live by myself with my Rottweiler. Life is so friggin' hard when you are trying to get thorough this mess. I now have a WONDERFUL and caring Psychiatric nurse practitioner who truly cares. She is holding me on the last 10mg of Lexapro until the Effexor/Lexapro WD calms down...IF it calms down. I should tell you that I can't believe I have pushed through the last year. My symptoms have been Burning in my head, headaches, tingling in my head, mood fluctuations, burning on my skin, bloodshot eyes, pressure on my chest, sensitivity to heat, depression, sweat easily, joint pain, ringing in my ears, no motivation, grinding my teeth, feeling mentally off at times, at the beginning I couldn't sit still, short tempered, at times in the beginning of the Lexapro taper, I didn't want to talk at times...like I almost couldn't, buzzing in my body, feel like I'm going crazy sometimes, anxiety rushes...etc I am interested in this group for support and the combined knowledge from it's members. I know that NO ONE can tell me when this is going to end. What I am hoping is that someone can tell me what I am going through is normal for all of the med changes? I am honestly concerned if I am still having problems because of the Duoloxetine? My anxiety IS better since I have been on it. I get 8 hours of sleep. I don't drink. I don't use illegal drugs, don't smoke. I eat pretty healthy. I don't exercise. It's tough to get out for walks when you feel like hell and I guess I save my mental energy to work. I know I have rambled on. My mind feels like it's in a vice and also these drugs affect how well I put my thoughts into words. For the most part I am a happy and well adjusted person. I feel like the last few years have been stolen from me because I faithfully followed Dr's instructions and thought they knew best...I was so wrong. Thank you for your time. Blessings to all of you.
  11. I am tapering venlaflaxine at 5% monthly and I am at 17.50mg now. Been on antidepressant for 30 years
  12. I new to participating in the forum type sites so please forgive me if I’m doing this wrong. Anyway I started to have what I think is brain zaps a month and a half ago not really knowing what it was but from all the research I’ve done it’s the only thing that makes sense. I stopped taking paroxetine 40mg tablets and started taking fluoxetine 40mg. Wishing 2-3 days I started to notice this, it caused me to panic and spiraled from there. I stopped the fluoxetine and went back to the paroxetine and finally a couple weeks ago started to feel pretty good again. After talking to my doctor decided to try the fluoxetine again because I had been to my primary doctor, an ENT, and had an MRI done because we all thought the off balance feeling I would get was something else going on like some kinda inner ear problem. Anyway I tried it again because I was feeling the best I had felt in the last two months and wanted to fast track the feeling better process and get back to work and that was a horrible mistake. What I think are brain zaps came right back and that’s my biggest issue. It’s like if I try to do to much and I’m looking around and moving my head around eventually I will start feeling sick, my head will hurt and I’ve literally got to lay down and close my eyes. What I’m thinking are brain zaps is so hard for me to describe because I wouldn’t have said it felt like an electrical shock, the way I tried to describe it is if I turned my head or my eyes it was like my brain couldn’t keep up. I could trigger it by turning just my eyes from one side to the other, up and down didn’t seem to bother me. And it’s just a horrible feeling for to me that once it happens so much from me moving around trying to behave and do things I would normally do it feels like a bad motion sickness. Best thing I can compare it to because I’ve gotten motion sickness all my life. It’s really debilitated me and this being the 3rd different antidepressant I’ve been on since 2014, if this is what I’ve got to look foraward to is the medication stopping working and having to try a new one I’d rather figure out how to deal with my problems on my own. I’ve said for a long time now that my goal in life is to get off this medicine anyway. I’d really like to know if it’s brain zaps that I’m having as I haven’t stopped the medication as to just changed to a new one.
  13. Hi all, I have come to this website fairly late (I hope) in my journey with psych meds. I no longer take anything, but 9 weeks from my last dose of Fluoxetine I am still suffering bad waves/windows. Until May of this year, I was still suffering badly with waves/windows from Diazepam withdrawal, which began properly in June 2022. I have been off work pretty much since then. Things got a good bit better between May and August, more like a higher baseline of anxiety/vulnerability to stress, rather than the waves/windows pattern. During this time, I was doing Neurofeedback and the ketogenic diet (thanks to Dr Chris Palmer's excellent book). I was able to do a speech at a family gathering, which feels unthinkable now. In June, I started tapering from Fluoxetine, 20mg (my history with which you can see in my signature), using the liquid solution, reducing by 2mg every 3 weeks. I now realise that was too fast. In mid-August I started getting waves again. I had not done nearly as much reading into SSRI withdrawals as I had with benzos, so I assumed it was the Diazepam waves coming back (which Ashton says can happen), but then at the end of August I got one of my worst waves ever for about 4 days: suicidal depression, 0hr sleep (even during worst of benzo withdrawal I could get 2-3 hours a night), tremors, agitation. At the time, I believed that was because I was given a different brand of the liquid solution - I thought maybe more of the active ingredient was getting into my system somehow, causing serotonin syndrome (because of the tremors). But now having read about the dangers of linear tapering I am guessing that it was withdrawal from Fluoxetine, and my cliff edge was around 10mg, made worse as I was/am not yet fully recovered from the Diazepam withdrawal. However, at that stage I decided to just to jump from 10mg, partly influenced by doctors who said that would be fine. I have now read about the need to do hyperbolic tapering, but I am where I am - 9 weeks off and I do not really wish to reinstate. I am having waves/windows every 3 days, which is very different from Diazepam - that was more like 3 week waves, 1 week windows - but they do seem to be just as severe, particularly the depression. I realise that I am perhaps lucky that I was on Fluoxetine rather than another SSRI (I am well over a year out from stopping Mirtazapine, so I don't think that is likely to be playing a role still). I am interested to hear any indications/opinions from folks on here as to how long it may be before the waves disappear and I return to my previous level of function. I am encouraged by the fact that although they are regular/severe, the waves do seem to have identifiable triggers rather than totally random. This is embarrassing, but I have found that one definite trigger is orgasm/ejaculation. In that process, there is a huge release of dopamine, followed by a decrease but also an increase of a hormone called prolactin which at a high enough level can cause psychosis. I am thinking my dopamine levels/receptors are just too low, because dopamine restrains prolactin production. You may ask, why not abstain? But another clear symptom of my withdrawal is uncontrollable nocturnal emissions, which I didn't even have in my teenage years - roughly once a week, followed by a 3-day wave. I did not have obvious sexual dysfunction while on Fluoxetine, but I am thinking that this symptom is some kind of rebound hypersexuality. Finally, the other clear triggers for symptoms are sweet foods and stress. Thanks for reading - I wish you all continued, and quick, healing.
  14. HISTORY: *1998-2010: Buspar, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Paxil, etc. *2018: started sertraline/Zoloft *2019: Went to ketamine clinic seeking ketamine, but was dx with bipolar II instead. Started Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole. Continued sertraline. *January 2020: Got pregnant. Was advised by psychiatrist to cold turkey Vraylar, Topomax, and Ropinirole and quickly taper sertraline. Began my sertraline taper but was having such intense w/d symptoms from the Vraylar, etc., I was a mess and I cold-turkeyed the sertraline, too. *March 2020: Psychiatric hospitalization. Miscarried in hospital. Hospital docs determined bipolar II dx was a mistake. Started ECT but quit when pandemic started. Started escitalopram/Lexapro 20mg, and aripiprazole/Abilify 5mg as an adjunct. *2021: Started bupropion/Wellbutrin 300mg to help with daytime sleepiness and fatigue. Continued escitalopram and aripiprazole. Increased bupropion to 450mg, then decreased back to 300mg for seizure safety for Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. *Early 2022: Replaced escitalopram with venlafaxine/Effexor 150mg (cross-tapered over a few weeks). *Summer 2022: Dx with sleep disorder (alpha wave intrusion). Started trazodone 50mg as a sleep aid. *November 2022: Started phasing out aripiprazole by going down to 2mg from 5mg (p-doc's idea). Had symptoms, went back up to 5mg for the holidays. *January 2023: Began tapering aripiprazole again, this time decreasing to 4mg for three weeks. ********************************************** As you can see, I am on a big, hot, tangled mess of psychotropic drugs. Since my diagnosis in summer 2022 with a sleep disorder, and treatment, I am doing better than ever (no depression symptoms for several months). And I'm on way too many drugs. My psychiatrist has agreed with me that it's appropriate to phase out at least one. We're starting with the Abilify/aripiprazole. P-doc wants to go fast; I want to go slow. I checked the drug interaction website that is recommended here. It seems the Wellbutrin/bupropion has major interactions with everything else, so I believe that should go next. I would like one day to get down to nothing except trazodone, since it is treating my sleep problem. Questions: How do you handle disagreements with your psychiatrist? I need to keep her on my side enough that she keeps prescribing my medication. Bonus if she will prescribe the smaller pills that make it easy to taper. What if I want to go slower than she wants to? What if she does not agree that I should get off a particular med? My goal is to keep feeling good through the tapers. Thanks in advance for any help you can provide, Tezz
  15. Hello! New to this site. I've found comfort in reading success stories on here and am looking for encouragement and support as I continue in my withdrawal healing journey. I was on Fluoxetine 20mg for about 4 years, on and off a couple of times. I did a 5-month linear taper 10% reduction every 2 weeks and jumped off in early January 2023. Six weeks later the withdrawals hit and since it's been a rollercoaster. I'm at Month 5.5. Thankfully, I haven't gotten many physical WDs but the psychological ones have turned my world upside down: despair, depression, terror, panic, anxiety, intrusive, looping thoughts, anhedonia, mood swings, zero motivation. I do have windows, which for the past month seem to be around 3-5 days, and waves, 3-6 days. I also take supplements: magnesium glycinate, probiotics, omega 3, vitamin d, b but have been on them since I started having some health issues in 2010 (chronic fatigue, muscles weakness, exercise intolerance, brain fog). I didn't start taking them because of withdrawal. I've been tasking htp5 for several months and am tapering that to try a difference amino acid supplement. Thanks for reading, Tessa
  16. 30 days off of Trintellix 20 mg.Prozac 20mg for 30 daysWelbutrin XL for 10 yearsGabapentin 12mg 6 monthsWas on Prozac & Wellbutrin for 10 years, but 2 years ago I was switched to Trintellix because it seemed like Prozac was no longer effective. Now my doc changed me back to Prozac. Seeking advice: I have stopped Trintellix twice in the last 12 months, with tapering per medical plan. The withdrawal symptoms are very hard to endure and I am asking for help or advice; The first time I stopped Trintellix, I was on a tapering plan to stop all my medications which at that time included Trintellix, Wellbutrin and Seroquel; I tapered off gradually per medical advice and had one or two months when I felt pretty good. Then I started to have horrific withdrawals including brain zaps, body shakes, body temperature fluctuations, excessive sweating, extreme nervousness, anxiety, fear, panic attacks, etc. It was scary because my psychiatrist didn't tell me I was experiencing withdrawals so I didn't know what was happening to me. My family doctor told me that I'm having withdrawals and prescribed Gabapentin to stop the extreme physical symptoms. It worked at the time for a short period. Then I started bringing back Wellbutrin and Trintellix to stop the withdrawals. I never reached a point of balance and well-being again. My dr said let's go back to Prozac which seemed to work for me in the past for managing anxiety, except for sexual dysfunction. I am now back on Prozac, Wellbutrin and Gabapentin and I am experiencing horrible withdrawals from Trintellix still - dizzy, body shaking, extreme anxiety, temperature dysregulation AND I also have sexual dysfunction from Prozac (no ability to orgasm). I would like to have some hope about the withdrawal symptoms - are they going to go away, when, what can I do to help myself... and I would like to regain a state of well-being and improve sexual dysfunction. I am willing to taper slowly off meds but I'm not sure if that's the right thing for me especially after being in withdrawal hell for a year. Any advice on brain rewiring programs? do they work for people who come off this type of medication? The medications and withdrawals are making it hard for me to function well at work, socially and in my relationship. Thank you for your advice
  17. Despite being quite nervous, I think it's time to make my introduction. I spent from early 2000's trying a variety of antidepressants. Prozac, setraline, amitryptiline, duloxetine, mirtazipine. Possibly something else, as well. Then, a crisis led to hospitalisation, and addition of quetiapine to fluoxetine. This was early 2019. Around four months ago, I stopped taking prozac, and about three months ago, I quit quetiapine. Both CT as I hadn't discovered this site. I was only taking 25mgs quetiapine and 20mgs prozac, so couldn't really taper without the help of the GP practice, in whom I have no confidence. A few months along, I am experiencing what I realise are waves and windows. Insomnia has been a recurring problem, but advice gained here has been very helpful. In my waves, I feel very depressed, but I now see this as withdrawal, rather than relapse. I don't think that antidepressants ever helped. As a cptsd sufferer, married to a troubled man, with two autistic sons, I was just overwhelmed. I am now a widow, and l live a very quiet life, with one if my sons. Medication does not feature in my future. History
  18. 2010- Two years of severe headaches. Bad vision in one eye. Muscle pains. The doctors did not say anything. 2012- anxiety appeared. the first drug sertaline - a paradoxical reaction. I got depression, ss thoughts and other bad symptoms. 2012- 2016 paroxetine - - I tappered slowly, but I did not know yet that it should be stopped more slowly. 3 months without paroxetine and withdrawal syndrome appeared. Return to the drug worsened the matter. I crashed. Bridge with fluoxetine. A year passed. at the end of September 2016 I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I did test in two different laboratories. 08/08/2016-now fluoxetin 20 mg 01/05/2016- now- triticco / trazadone 75 mg clonozepam - 04.03.2017. from 20.11.2017 I started tapper from 0.5 to 0.125 mg- when I got some relief from Lyme treatment. Now I am treated with ILADS ( Lyme and bartonella) and also tapper psycho drags. I want to not rule out the syndrome and stop the drugs safely. I am asking for support and exchange of experience, especially people who suffer from Lyme disease. I need to make plan. How to discontinue: clonazepam 0,125 mg, fluoxetine 20 mg and trazadon 75 mg How I feel now: Antibiotics have sustained discomfort from the urinary tract and improved the results of cytology. I have more windows, but I still experience strong hits of depression and pain in small joints, a specially neck. Through complicated diagnostics of Lyme disease and the syndrome, I do not know which symptoms are from what. Thank you for your attention, sorry for mistakes.
  19. Hello, and thank you a million times for the site, I am gutted to be here. I'm so sorry I didn't fill in my history, I thought it went in the signature and didn't want to do it twice, I'm in something of a rush and feeling utterly terrible. I realized I should have but don't seem to be able to go back and fill it in. Apologies for any inconvenience. One of a thousand stupid decisions I seem to make all the time on these meds. So I'm hoping for some advice about switching. I've been on Mirtazapine for approximately 8 years and I'm reaching the point where the Gemini scales won't be accurate so I'm looking to switch. However, I switched to Prozac a couple of years ago and had a terrible time. I was manic, couldn't sleep or eat, and so went back. At the time I thought it didn't agree with me but I now realize it may have been withdrawal from the mirt that was causing the problems. I'm really sensitive, which is why I've had to change pills in the past after reactions like skin rashes so I'm worried about trying something new. I'm hoping you guys might have an idea of what I could switch to that's soluble and hopefully, easier to get off than Mirt. Also, over the 2 or 3 months I'm starting to feel depression creeping in, which I haven't had before as a withdrawal symptom, so I don't know if it's withdrawal or relapse. I can't take anything else for the depression as it'll interact so I'm thinking of going back up to 7.5 and staying there but the thought of staying on this medication makes me feel suicidal. This is complicated by the fact that I stopped drinking completely 3 weeks ago which can apparently cause depression although the depression starting earlier but it could be exacerbating it. I realize there's a chance, a good chance, that, having been on these meds for so long, and having swapped about along with being so sensitive, I might well have to stay on them forever. I'm trying to come to terms with this, but I don't want to give up giving up too easy. Many thanks again for the site, I wish I'd found you earlier, and for any advice you can offer.
  20. Hi all, Newbie alert 🚨 I have lurked around this forum for well over a year, looking for advise and understanding. Today on my millionth AD tapering journey i’ve decided to register and introduce myself. A lot of the times I just want to ask “has anyone else experienced this?”, “how did it go for you”. Because the truth is, the doctors look at us as robots, or they just don’t understand and it becomes increasingly frustrating when you’re patronised - you know the ringing in my ear since tapering has nothing to do with that but rather “you’re not becoming any younger…with ageing a lot of things happen”. While yes that may be so, please don’t tell me you know my body better than me. Otherwise my doctor is quite ok. Most recently I asked him for liquid fluoxetine so I could taper slowly. He’s been with me a while and so knows that tapering fast is not for me. So I’m grateful he’s prescribed it. I saw another doctor just a week ago and she told me “you’re already taking 20mg fluoxetine every other day so you’re ready to just stop now”. Obviously I know better and on her part it has to be ignorance. Anyhow digress… I have been on and off AD since 2015 when at the age of 27, I was divorced, homeless and a single mother with my family having just moved away. That’s putting it in a concise and pretty way but I won’t get into the ugly…As the years have gone on I’ve made so much progress and so many changes in the way I think and approach things. So I must remember to give myself credit. However the times I decided to come off AD, the advise of the doctors was not great and I always rushed or went cold turkey. The problem was, I felt great the month or 2 after stopping. It’s about 5 months down the line when I either crash and feel extremely low or my emotions just scatter, so many feelings flood me. I have had counselling but I realise the latter, was probably due to issues not being addressed and the AD numbing those very real emotions. So this time, I’ve decided to move with patience. Go slow. Most recently I’ve taken the lower dose of 20mg fluoxetine from july2021 to Dec2021- this was after stopping cold turkey a few months before (when I was on 40mg). Since the new year I’m on 20mg every other day. I have the liquid which will be taken @ 10mg every other day. I haven’t yet started that dose as I still feel my body is still getting familiar with the 20mg every other day. One of the most annoying new symptoms of tapering is this ear ringing/vibrating. It feels very weird. I’ve never had it before in my ears but over the years experienced similar vibrations and spasms in my jaw so I guess it’s just different this time. It’s been about 5/6weeks since lowering 20mg every other day and I’ve just started feeling very tired, under the weather like I’m coming down with something. Not sure if that bit is related but we’ll see. Lastly the dreams! Omg the dreams, im having soo many very odd and random dreams. Didn’t think it was a thing when tapering because I always have the dreams when starting an AD. Weird stuff. If anyone can make it make sense, I’m happy for your input 😊 Any support, advise, words of encouragement, sharing experiences etc all welcome 🤗 Patient2022 x
  21. I’m a 63 year old woman and my first antidepressant use was in 1997. I saw antidepressants as mood cosmetics: an adjustment to my anxious, sometimes irritable and depressive personality that would help me get ahead and live more boldly. I didn’t stay on for long and I quit cold turkey. I broke up with my boyfriend and fell into a deep depression, which I attributed to the breakup. 2003, I found myself in a challenging job as I started having premenopausal irritability. My gynecologist put me back on Prozac, but at some point (2006?), my gp switched me to lexapro. I stayed on it until 2015. (I had post nasal drip with fluoxetine, which led (I think) to numerous sinus infections; that’s why I asked to switch) 2015, I realized I’d missed many doses and I felt fine, so I just stopped, but started having zaps, emotional lability, anxiety etc. I kept wanting to get through it, thinking the symptoms would abate sooner or later. After many months like this, I complained to my gp about hot flashes—not recognizing them as a withdrawal symptom. When she suggested lexapro as an off-label solution to that problem, it felt like a message from god and I resumed lexapro. 2021, I honestly felt there’d be no easier time in my life to taper. Never mind the pandemic, I thought my life was great, which presently seems blunted and delusional. 11/30, I started reducing my doses, and proceeded carefully for 254 days, listening to my body and making reductions after zaps stopped and I felt stable at the lower dose. My last dose in 8/2022. Tardive withdrawal symptoms started in September or October. They seem episodic but mostly, they’re present; I’ve had just a few multi-day breaks from symptoms. Writing this in mid-February 2023 and wondering if I’ll ever feel better. Dealing with loneliness, aging/dying parents and money issues are added, unavoidable stressors. of the four doctors who’ve prescribed ssris for me, one was a gynecologist. The others were GPs! Very grateful to friends who are willing to listen. what helps: —I used to take my Ssri with a fistful of supplements and I found it easy to lose the habit of taking supplements when I stopped the drugs. Now I’m careful to take supplements and they seem to help, but I’m not qualified to advise. (Everything I take: Fish oil, magnesium, b6, b12, calcium citrate, C, D3) —I take valerian to help with sleep. I like solaray because it has standardized active ingredient. Topical melatonin, also for sleep; sometimes kava tea for daytime calm —seldom drinking any alcohol —switching from black tea to green and limiting it to two cups in the morning —seldom watching any news at present —asking myself “what is the best way to take care of myself right now?”—especially when I’m symptomatic —I pick up a lot of good tips from YouTube channel “therapy in a nutshell”… not specific to drug discontinuation but useful techniques for staying calm I’m here to learn as well as to support and I welcome comments to improve my approach to recovery may we all be well, Mary
  22. Hello Everyone, My wife will be weaning off of Fluoxetine. I, her loving husband, will be helping her with the process and asking any questions here to help in the process. I am helping because my wife has dementia. I, her husband, have recently, after about five years, reached zero venlafaxine. I have learned a lot during this time. It is my wife's turn. The anxiety and cause of anxiety, that got her onto the fluoxetine, no longer exists. I do not want to miss anything about the process and likely side effects of tapering Fluoxetine. So even though I know how to navigate SurvingingAntidepressants.com, please moderator, do your introductory thing. Thanks
  23. Hey, my name's Leland. Last May, 2020, I started having Panic Attacks due to life stress, COVID fears, and unhealthy lifestyle habits. After a week of bad anxiety, DP/DR, I was prescribed 10 MG Prozac. The first week was managable, so I increased to 20 MG. Did all kinds of research on the drug to assuage my fears, but my side effects were pretty minimal. Panic attacks continued once a week or so, but began to slowly weaken. After one bad day in late July 2020, my doctor and I increased my dose to 30 MG. After a few weeks of this I felt pretty calm again. For the next few months, my anxiety was hit or miss, but I stopped having panic attacks, and I learned to live with the anxiety that would creep up, so largely that went away as well. I felt pretty detached and foggy with the medicine, but very calm, so it was worth it. This spring, I had gone 7 or so months without a panic attack, so I decided to taper off. My doctor recommended dropping 10 MG every 2-4 weeks, so I chose 4 weeks. Went from 30 to 20, then to 10 on May 8. On June 1 I took my last 10 MG pill. Immediately I felt withdrawal symptoms. Brain zaps, fatigue, body and head aches, and a feeling like I was underwater. Did some research on my own and found this site! Decided after 5 week of symptoms to talk to my doctor about reinstating and tapering again, from 5 MG. Before I received the liquid medicine, I went on a vacation with family and drank, a lot. Came back to California having new and severe anxiety attacks (not panic attacks, since I gained the skills to stop them from becoming panic). New feelings of DP/DR came from the anxiety. Took my first reinstated dose of 3 MG on July 30. The next week was full of dizziness, anxiety, DP/DR, aches. Came to an understanding with my Psychiatrist that binge drinking while having Withdrawal Symptoms led to my anxiety outburst. Increased to 5 MG liquid on August 7. Since then, my anxiety has lessened some, but I still have daily feelings of feeling underwater, occasional anxiety outbursts, and fatigue. Have cut my drinking by 85%, now only 2 beers per week. Sleeping well, eating well and exercising, walking to lessen my anxiety. Ultimately, I'm staying on 5 MG liquid for several more weeks before doing the 10% taper. Withdrawal symptoms *seem* better, definitely no more brain zaps. But it's hard to tell with all my new anxiety symptoms. I want to calm my anxiety holistically, instead of increasing my prozac back up to 10 or 20 MGs. The medicine really worked for me, but I want to be able to remove it from my life eventually as well. Will continue to take care of myself everyday, and hope both the medicine and anxiety symptoms even themselves out over time. Excited to have found this site!
  24. ADMIN NOTE If you are looking for information about switching or "bridging" to Prozac to go off your antidepressant, read this ENTIRE topic: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/19373-the-prozac-switch-or-bridging-with-prozac/ Prozac was the first popular SSRI, released in 1987, and was a substantial source of profit for Eli Lilly for many years. It became available in a generic form in 2001 (Lilly's fortunes subsequently plummeted). It comes in 10mg, 20mg, and 40mg capsules, as well as a liquid (usually 20Mg/5Ml), which is very helpful for tapering off. After a single oral 40 mg dose, peak plasma concentrations occur after 6 to 8 hours. In Australia and parts of Asia, brand-name Prozac is available in 20mg flavored dispersible tablets, instructions for which advise that they may be dissolved in water. The tablets are scored, indicating they may be split. (In the UK, similar fluoxetine dispersible tablets are called Olena.) Prozac also comes in a 90mg weekly capsule, containing coated pellets for delayed release adding 2 hours for peak plasma concentrations (very rarely prescribed). Prozac has the longest half-life of any SSRI. After you take it for a few days, half-life is about 16 days. Fluoxetine itself has a half-life of 2-4 days, but as it is processed, your body creates an active antidepressant metabolite, norfluoxetine, which has a half-life of 7-15 days. So Prozac keeps on extending its half-life as it is metabolized. According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluoxetine , fluoxetine and norfluoxetine inhibit each other's metabolism, extending the half-life of the drug. Because the half-lives are so long, the full effect of Prozac on the brain may not be felt for several weeks. fluoxetine (1-6 days) ---> norfluoxetine (up to 16 days) ---> other metabolites Prozac is mainly metabolized by the liver enzymes identified by cytochrome P450 CYP2D6 and CYP2C9/2C19, and inhibits its own metabolism via cyp 2D6 and cyp 2c19, which means lower doses get metabolized faster. (Prozac and its metabolites are also mild to moderate inhibitors of CYP1A2, CYP2B6, CYP2C9, and CYP3A4.) Is Prozac "self-tapering"? Because of its very long half-life, Prozac has the reputation of being "self-tapering," meaning it requires only a short taper. However, some people do suffer withdrawal from Prozac, just as severe as other SSRIs. Because of the long half-life, withdrawal symptoms simply take longer to appear. We suggest starting out with a slow taper of 10% per month for a couple of months; if no withdrawal symptoms appear, rate of taper may be increased -- but slow down if withdrawal symptoms arise. Reduce by 10% per month to start The 10% rule holds for Prozac, just like other psychiatric drugs: Reduce by 10% per month, calculated on the last dosage. (The amount of the reduction gets progressively smaller.) See Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Using fluoxetine liquid to taper Using a liquid can be a very precise way to taper, by far the easiest way to titrate by very small amounts. Fluoxetine liquid comes in a concentation of 20mg fluoxetine in 5mL of liquid, meaning there is 4mg of fluoxetine in 1mL. If you are taking 10mg Prozac now, the liquid equivalent would 2.5mL. If you want to take 9mg of Prozac, you would take 2.25mL of the liquid. Always check the concentration of the liquid you get as it can vary among manufacturers, and adjust your calculations accordingly. If your fluoxetine liquid contains 20mg fluoxetine in 5mL of liquid: 1 mL= 4mg 0.5mL = 2mg 0.25mL = 1mg 0.2ml = 0.8mg You will need an oral syringe to measure out your dose of the liquid. To use the oral syringe, you need a special cap to put on the bottle of liquid Prozac. The cap should have a hole in it, the tip of the oral syringe fits into this. Read this about oral syringes. If your pharmacist doesn't have a cap, ask for a smaller medicine bottle with this type of cap. Pour some of your liquid Prozac into it and draw your dosage from the smaller bottle. Here's an illustration of how to draw the medication from the bottle http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-tapering-techniques/page__view__findpost__p__2284 Also see http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-tapering-techniques/page__view__findpost__p__21391 See more detail about how to measure and taper Prozac-brand liquid here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/759-tips-for-tapering-off-prozac-fluoxetine/page__view__findpost__p__41090 It may be more convenient for you to take part of your dose in tablet or capsule form and part in liquid form for a while, tapering from the liquid part. Or, you may wish to gradually transition from taking your dose in a solid form to liquid form. See "Using a combination of tablets or capsules and liquid" below for how to make the change from taking your daily dose in all-solid form to all-liquid form. Making your own fluoxetine liquid how-to-make-a-liquid-from-tablets-or-capsules Fluoxetine is one of the few psychiatric medications with a long history of do-it-yourself dilution in water or juice. Mixed in cranberry juice, it's been called "Cranzac." My own personal preference would be to dilute it with water, to avoid any degradation that might be caused by sugar or acid in the juice. Also, it will be easier to see how well the fluoxetine is dissolved in water. (There may be particles swirling around, that's the filler in the capsule that doesn't dissolve.) Your fluoxetine liquid may be a little bitter -- just swallow it quickly. You might want to chase it with a little fruit juice. There are instructions for DIY Prozac solution here: http://depression.about.com/cs/sideeffects/ht/cranzac.htm (A psychiatrist posts about it here.) For very gradual tapering, for example, you can dissolve a 10mg capsule or orally dispersible tablet in 10mL of water to make a solution with 1mg Prozac in 1mL of water. To take 1mg Prozac, use an oral syringe to take out 1mL. Refrigerated, it's supposed to be stable for 14 days. From a pharmaceutical technician manual Using a combination of tablets or capsules and liquid Rather than switch directly to an all-liquid dose, you may wish to take part of your dose in liquid and part in lower-dose tablets or capsules, gradually converting to all liquid as you get to lower dosages. This can be very convenient and reduce any problems switching from one form of the drug to another. For example, if you are taking more than 10mg fluoxetine per day, you could get your prescription filled in 10mg tablets or capsules and take part of your daily dosage as a capsule or tablet and the rest in liquid. If you are taking 10mg fluoxetine tablet or capsule, for the transition, you might alternate days where you take 10mg in capsule form and 10mg in liquid form, gradually taking more days in liquid form. (Do not skip any doses.) If your doctor prescribes liquid and tablets or capsules at the same time, most likely, he or she will have to indicate "divided doses" in the prescriptions to get the drugs covered by insurance. Dividing contents of capsules into empty gelatin capsules One way of tapering is to split up the powder in a capsule into smaller dosages. Go to a health food store and get empty gelatin capsules, the biggest they've got. When you open up a Prozac capsule, you can carefully pour a fraction of the powder into empty gelatin capsules. You won't have 5mg per capsule exactly, because it's difficult to eyeball the amounts. If you want to be more precise, carefully pour the powder onto a piece of black paper and divide it into quarters with a knife, then scoop each 1/4 into an empty gelatin capsule. See more about this technique at http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-tapering-techniques/page__p__3033#entry3033 If you are very sensitive to variations in dosage, this method will not be precise enough for you to control your taper. Divide up capsule contents with an electronic scale If you want to be even more precise, weigh the powder in a capsule with an electronic scale, divide it up, and put it into empty gelatin capsules. The powder is very fluffy, though -- make sure it doesn't blow off the scale. See Using a digital scale to measure doses Have a compounding pharmacy make up capsules of smaller dosages With a prescription, a compounding pharmacy will accurately weigh the doses and put them into capsules for you. See http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/235-tapering-techniques/page__p__3001#entry3001
  25. Hi there. I joined last year, but this is my first post. I'm not really sure what I hope to achieve here. Sometimes I feel so alone in this. Sometimes I just want to yell from the rooftops, warning people to stay away from Paxil. I guess this post stems from both of those statements. A little of my story- I moved to QC, Canada when I met my wife in 2002. Married quite quickly after meeting. Coming from the US, I was definitely not prepared or knew what I was in for, with a move 500 miles away to another country. Especially when it's a country within a country, so to speak, as Quebec can often be seen. Extremely long and winding story short - I became a very different person, within the first five years or so. So much I can point to now, as the catalysts for my becoming a shell of a man. I think it was mostly a perfect storm of childhood traumas, harmful paths as a young man, and high stress life circumstances as a young married man. I can honestly say my wife was not the problem. I was. But I didn't see it that way, at the time. After five years in, my wife told me she thought I needed to see a doctor. That I "needed" to be on medicine. That since my mom had mental health issues, depression etc., it ran in my family. That it was a chemical imbalance. When you break your arm, you go to the doctor, and they fix you. It's the same with mental health. These are things I completely reject now, but at the time, I needed to do something. I was becoming someone I didn't recognize anymore. Aggressive, depressed, anxiety ridden... You can't imagine how I wish I could go back to that point in time. The moment I pulled my car up to the medical clinic. I wish I could go back and tell younger me, that it was the circumstances in my life that needed to change. It was the healing I needed to do. It was the therapy I needed to seek out. Instead, I sought out a drug to "fix" me. And on top of that, one of the worst drugs in the ssri family you could possibly take. One of the hardest to get off of. One with the worst side effects. One that would change my life... But not for the better. I went into a clinic and had a seven-minute conversation with a GP that obviously was there at a drop-in clinic for some extra side cash. "Do you feel down?" Yes, I said. "Do you lash out?" Yes. "Does your mother take any anti-depressants?" Yes. "Here's a prescription". I'll sum up my years on Paroxetine. It gave me all the typical side effects, but it seemed to help with my anxiety. It did not make me feel happy. It did, however, seem to blunt my emotions. Which I suppose could be interpreted as "helping" with being depressed. Over the years, I'd start feeling confused as to why I'm not feeling happy. Why I'm still having moments of lashing out. Why I can't seem to click into life the way I see others can. Just always feeling like something was just wrong with me. So, I went back, upped the dose a couple times. Over the years, I tried to get off of it. The very first time, was cold turkey. I was NEVER told by the doctor about ANY negative side effects, and that coming OFF of Paxil can be difficult. I knew nothing of tapering, withdraw, discontinuation syndrome... None of it. I remember having the extreme zaps, the suicidal ideations... I went back on. I tried to get off a few other times and couldn't ever do it. I've been off of Paxil for about half a year. I'm definitely experiencing withdraw. I'm so thankful I'm off of it though. Because I know what I lost while on it. I've come to realize that so much of my impulsive behaviors, risky behaviors, emotional indifference can be traced back to being on Paxil. I went from a man with a wife, three kids, to currently alone. I've lost it all. The things I've done, and said, and thought over the years are unfathomable to me now. It's as if I've awoken from a nightmare. And I don't mean that figuratively. I mean it literally feels like I'm awake after over a decade of dreaming. I left my wife seven years ago. A woman who stood by me through it all. Who had to suffer alongside a man who became a shell. I did things over the years on Paxil, that when I think of now, makes me actually ill. I can't believe the person I was. I can't believe the decisions I made. I can't believe how numb and callused I was towards her, my kids, and really my own life and self. Basically, what I've realized, is that Paxil did nothing to "fix" me. All the problems that weighed on me and my heart/mind/soul, never went away. I just was able to numb myself a little more towards them. Sometimes now drug-free, a memory will pop up and I'll see it and feel it in a completely different way than I did at the time. It's hard to explain. It's like I think about my life and see a movie played out, by an actor that looks like me, but isn't me. I'm angry. Angry at Paxil, angry at that doctor... I feel I've lost years and years of my life. Years I won't get back. But alongside that anger, I have empathy. Empathy for myself. I'm trying to balance guilt and sadness, with empathy and hope. I'm in the process of working this all out. Maybe someday I will have my family together again, intact, by the grace of God and clear mind. I've talked with her about a lot of this, and she seems to understand how these brain and body altering drugs can play a part in the downfall of a person. Discovering Dr Roger Mcfillin, and many others has been a game changer for me, personally. Also moving towards God and His grace and forgiveness. Redemption. Things I never cared about really, and eye rolled over. For those of you who have lost during your time on one of these drugs- I know how you feel. We must take responsibility for our actions and life choices, but to deny that Paxil didn't have a role in this for ME, would be a gross mistake. I'll post more as I continue this journey in healing. As I said, I am experiencing prolonged withdraw, and I'll share more another time. Love to you all. Have hope.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy