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  1. Until I was 30 years old I had never put an antidepressant in my mouth. I had a normal life. I studied, graduated, dated, got married, etc., etc. Since I was a child, I've always been a little anxious/worried. When I was young, I had some difficulty sleeping. I also had gastritis due to anxiety, but nothing more than that. I never resorted to medication, even though I faced many traumas (my father's death, problems with my mother that made me move in with my grandmother, etc.). However, I started taking Lexapro 20 mg from 2010 until 2017 to treat classic depression caused by a disease that no one discovered and that made me feel a lot of pain. In 2017, after many bad episodes, notably my son's diagnosis with a serious illness, Lexapro was no longer effective. I started to feel scared, depressed, with back pain and anxious. I was afraid that my eldest son would also be diagnosed with the same disease. Now I question whether the exacerbation of these symptoms was not a result of Lexapro itself. WE WILL NEVER KNOW. The fact is that the doctor - in 2017 - switched to CYMBALTA 60 mg and I reacted VERY WELL. I even got through traumatic episodes, like the sudden death of my grandmother - which for me was everything in life, as she was the one who raised me - and everything went very well. The only annoying effect was dizziness when standing up. I actually fainted a few times because of it. In one of them I even had to get stitches in my head. Anyway, everything was going very well until the episode occurred in May/2023, in which I was fired by my friend, who suggested that I had committed a crime in 2016. After what happened, I became very depressed, I didn't want to get out of bed, a feeling of injustice, difficulty waking up, etc., but I was still able to do normal activities. Early July 2023 - when I was much better and didn't feel any of the symptoms I'm experiencing now - I went back to the doctor, who decided, don't ask me why, to increase the DUAL to 90mg. About 2 weeks after starting the new dose, the monster that now plagues my life began to be born. After seeing a news story saying that a certain person had been convicted for an event that had occurred 6 years ago even though he was innocent, I began to feel afraid that the suggestion made by the monster who fired me could come true, despite there being no factual-logical support. for that. From then on, I believe that due to the increase in medication, I began to feel anguish I had never experienced before - and which I later discovered was not that bad as I would feel much worse. But, as it was something new for me, I was very scared and, after contacting the doctor, I was prescribed Pristiq 50 + 0.25 Rexulti. I argued that I didn't want to take two medications. Because of this, she told me to just take pristiq. After about a week, I felt much better and thought everything was over. A few days later, however, the symptoms of anxiety/distress and intrusive thoughts returned. Therefore, we switched to 100 mg of pristiq associated, at my suggestion, with cannabis extract. However, the medication (Green Care 79.14 mg/ml) caused me 2 panic attacks. I was traumatized by these two events and permanently stopped taking THC. For the first time in over a decade, I had to take a Xanax to calm down. However, without any change of medication, the anxiety began to return very strongly, to the point of almost preventing normal activities from being carried out. Even so, it was possible to tolerate the symptoms with GREAT DISCOMFORT. Upon returning to the doctor's office, I reported the worsening of symptoms and the Pristiq dose was increased to 150 mg, this time associated with half a Rexulti tablet (0.25). As I was very fragile and wanted to improve, I accepted the association with the antipsychotic. About 1 week later, my symptoms improved and I thought that, this time, things would go well. After 1 or 2 weeks I felt good - although a little accelerated. However, at the end of November/2023 I started to feel very anxious, accelerated and distressed, which caused a terrible cycle of thoughts. They were very uncomfortable symptoms that were slowly destroying me. I even had a kind of panic attack, but I resisted without taking Xanax. I was anxious for almost the entire day, but I refused to speak up for fear of more problems. Mysteriously, all these symptoms diminished greatly during the night, so that, as far as possible, it was possible to sleep well, despite being very distressed during the morning and afternoon. Well, after this episode I went back to the office. Seeing my condition, the doctor decided to replace the 150 mg of Pristiq with 20 mg of Lexapro with the removal of 0.25 mg of Rexulti. In the first week after withdrawing from Pristiq, it felt like something bad had come out of me. From 11/21 until 11/28 the symptoms decreased until they almost disappeared. I was quite happy. I thought I had discovered what caused all this and that there would be a happy ending soon. But there was no time to celebrate. On 11/29/23, 8 days after withdrawing from Pristiq and starting Lexapro, the anguish returned in a brutal and overwhelming way. So great and intense that the desire to kill oneself appeared as the only option to end the suffering. I had never felt this before. Therefore, it is obvious that the medication was to blame. From 11/29 onwards, my real downfall began. Despite the ups and downs, before that, I was able to go for my daily run, work and have leisure time. From then on, no more. After 11/29 I have certainly been facing the worst phase of my life. If I weren't working remotely, I would have to take time away from activities. From that date on, I completely abandoned the faith that had helped me so much in the past and my life became a distressing struggle for survival. From being a fervent Catholic with a daily rosary, I no longer had the strength to continue. It was my wedding anniversary and I couldn't go out to dinner with my wife, just to give an example. I was completely dysfunctional. Many times I couldn't even take my children to school or go to the supermarket. He was in a daily hell that seemed to have no end other than taking his own life. The days that followed were terrible. During this period, I was forced to take xanax every day (I only took it once a day, but if I could, I would take it every 3 hours), such was the anguish. I had never felt anything close to that. Not even Doistoevksi, or perhaps only he, could faithfully describe the overwhelming feelings that invaded my soul. On December 7th, due to my terrible condition, the doctor suggested that I take ketamine sessions and add 0.5 of Rexulti to the 20mg of Lexapro. From then on I had ups and downs. After the first two ketamine sessions I thought I was cured and that everything was over. I was wrong. After a few days of improvement, I began to worsen dramatically with terrible anxiety and panic, as well as intrusive thoughts. On 1/8/24, in a new consultation, the doctor decided to maintain Lexapro 20 mg and maintain 0.5 of Rexulti. That same day, I went on vacation with my family and had the worst vacation of my life. Catastrophic thoughts accompanied me at all times. I was already waking up with a LOT of fear and panic. I spent the whole day like this, with the same thought circulating and plaguing my mind. I went to the beach with atrocious difficulty. Every 5 minutes, throughout the day and afternoon, I had to relive what happened to tell myself that there was no reason to worry, that it was just the thought of a crazy person, etc., etc., all of this surrounded by a lot of fear, anguish and panic. At night, there was a little relief and, I don't know how, I was able to sleep well. But I woke up the next day in absolute panic. It was a nightmare. Upon returning from vacation, on January 22, 2024, in complete despair, I went to another doctor. He said that I had symptoms similar to those of OCD and ordered me to keep the Lexapro, remove the 0.5 of Rexulti and take Luvox 50mg for 3 days, then switch to 100. In the first three days I noticed that the intrusive thoughts decreased. Given this, he asked to maintain the 50mg, in addition to the 20mg of Lexapro. From the fourth day onwards, however, despite the thoughts having reduced, the anguish/panic increased a lot again and came in a BRUTAL and OVERWHELMING way. I had terrible episodes for about 10 days, where I really wanted to kill myself to end the pain. I woke up with a feeling so bad I couldn't describe it. I even fainted on two occasions. I couldn't carry out everyday activities, like going to the supermarket or taking my children to play soccer. I had never felt anything like this. Doctor gave Buspirone but it was like water. Therefore, he told me to take Xanax 3x a day, in addition to the other medications. Afraid of the effects of benzos, he took xanax only when the anguish was unbearable and tried to live in anguish at all times, without respite. Then, in desperation, I asked the doctor to remove the Lexapro - because I thought it was causing the symptoms. On 02/02/2024, he ordered 5 days of Lexapro 10mg and then withdrawn, he kept 50mg of Luvox and started Elavil 25 (should go to 75 mg in 5 days) and Lithium 600 (2x of 300). The day after taking 25 mg of Amytril, on February 3, 2024, I felt better. I was very happy because I didn't wake up in a panic and I didn't feel like throwing myself out the window, something that had been with me in the last few months. But my general condition continued to be poor. From then on, very slowly, I gradually improved. It wasn't great, but I stopped wanting to die. Given the improvement, the doctor asked to keep Elavil at 25 mg. I suggested that he reduce/remove Luvox but was ignored. I thought it might have effects from completely withdrawing from Lexapro but it didn't get any worse. At an appointment on 2/22/2024 with another doctor, I was in a simply reasonable state. Still very traumatized by everything I suffered and went through, but without that anguish and panic that paralyzed me and left me wanting to die (and sometimes to kill myself, which scared me a lot). As for the thoughts that I would be reported, etc., they came many times a day, but without panic or anguish. But it was much better than my previous state. I was very happy with your new doctor's line of thinking - who also understood that most of the terrible symptoms I suffered stemmed - not from my condition - but from the medications. I reminded the doctor that I was flooded with a sea of serotonin and norepinephrine (I was prescribed an incredible 150 mg of Pristiq + 0.25 of Rexulti, then 20 mg of Lexapro + 0.5 of Rexulti, and finally 20 mg of Lexapro, + 50 mg of Luvox). One of the doctors even commented that we could increase Lexapro to 40 mg!!!! My perception is that what made me improve was Lithium. After 2 weeks of taking the mineral, I had a good improvement considering my previous condition. The effect of 25 mg Elavil was also impressive, as I took it at night and, the next morning, I didn't wake up in despair. As for Luvox, I honestly think it does me more harm than good. I remind friends who read me that I am one of the many cases in which the patient presents a small complaint and is devastated a few months later by the medications. If the medication starts to cause unwanted effects, the standard medical approach is to always increase the dose, and never take out the medication. It's insane. The new doctor ordered dozens of tests, including genetic ones, and authorized the reduction of Luxox to 25 mg. I've been on the new dose for 15 days and I'm still doing it - not very well - but simply stable. He also said that our target is to remove everything ( AMEN). He also said - unlike the previous doctor - that I don't have OCD, just a persistent intrusive thought. I remember never feeling anything like that. I never had thoughts that tormented me day and night. I remember never feeling anything like that. I never had thoughts that tormented me day and night. This is yet another indication that this all happened due to the different drugs I was put on. The thoughts that I could be accused of something - despite having done nothing - appear all the time, but without the panic like before. Today, 8/3/24, I am taking low doses of three medications: 25 mg of Elavil 25 mg of Luvox 600 mg of Lithium, The first withdrawal occurred. 15 days ago I reduced Luvox from 50 to 25. Because of all this, here I am, looking for everyone's help to, little by little and very carefully - after all, I am very traumatized by what I went through and felt - remove these medications from my life and get out of this nightmare I have been going through. Thanks and sorry for the bad english.
  2. Mod note: link to: Happy2Heal: Hope I'm doing this right (Introduction and update topic) I was just an 18yr old, a very confused, naive young woman, er no- more of a child, really- when I was given (by force) my first psych drug, stelazine, a major tranquilizer. that was the beginning of a long series- spanning almost 40 yrs!- of psych drugs and hospitalizations. All along the way, I was plastered with one diagnosis after another, or several heaped on at once. My physical health went downhill and I ended up a virtual shut-in, living my life all in my head, friendless, socially isolated to the extreme, my only contact with drs and therapists, leaving my house to go food shopping maybe twice a month. This wasn't living, and I knew it. But I didn't know how to change things. I didn't know what was wrong. I spent over two thirds of my life believing I was mentally ill and *needed* to be on those drugs. but at some point, it occurred to me that the drugs might actually be the problem, or at least, part of the problem. I knew I had to get off them. and I did. The process and the pain of that is reported on my thread, I don't care to go back over it, at least not now. I learned a lot along the way, but for now, I don't want to think about where I've been, I only want to think about where I am now, and the life I have before me. Here I am, now, one year off all drugs, of all kinds. I rarely even take a ibuprofen for a headache. I want to write my success story, but I'm not 100% ready yet However I do have to say that what I feel most of all, is a great deal of pride in having survived. I suffered all forms of abuse as a child, emotional, sexual, physical, verbal, went on to be a survivor of rape, of domestic abuse. I was abused within the mental health system. I've spent virtually all of my adult life in poverty, raising my daughter as a single mom on disability due to "mental illness". But today, I feel as if I've done more than just survive; I am thriving. I have friends. I have a very active social life. I volunteer and I feel like the work I do is making a difference, having an impact. while technically I am still 'poor' by income, I don't go without anything I need, with the possible exception of good dental care I have a good life. Is my withdrawal journey over? I'm not sure.While I took my last dose of lexapro over a year ago, I feel like I am still having some symptoms that must be related to the nearly 4 DECADES on psych meds. BUT you need to know, these symptoms are extremely mild. and after that long on so many different drugs, it stands to reason that there will be minor little tweaks that my brain will need to make, for some time to come. I'd like to say that all that has faded into the background of my life, but to be honest: I am more vigilant about them now, than at any time during active withdrawal- because I don't want to fall into a trap of thinking that any problems I may have mean that all those doctors were right, I'm permanently disabled by a mental illness and there's no hope for me. I am pretty sure that the only thing I suffer from is PTSD, and I don't see that as a mental illness so much as a natural reaction to extremely stressful, traumatic life events. so Today I feel Victorious. I've overcome a lot and need to soak in that feeling of doing a good job I don't often give myself credit for my achievements or feel like it's ok to feel good about them but today, I give myself permission to bask in this feeling. it feels like the right and honest thing to do. I guess I just have to be different, I don't want to call this a success story because that sounds to me like the end, when in fact it is not. It's not really a beginning, either, because the beginning of my new life dates back to when I first realized that the drugs were the problem. to me, this just feels like a victory over adversity- something to celebrate! so please, celebrate with me, and know that you are going to heal as well, those of you still going thru WD/recovery. it's worth it, believe me so very worth it!
  3. JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium I’ll start with the Success Part, before I unfold the story. I am a classic poster-girl story of “Why You Should Taper.” I thought I couldn’t come off the drugs, I was convinced I was a “biological bipolar” – but by using SA’s conservative 10% or less tapering system, I hardly had any withdrawals this time, and could control my symptoms and make space for my stressors by holding. I’m a living example of why anyone should taper and hold in order to come off. And there is no such thing as too slow. I attribute my success to the SA taper, and a number of coping strategies. I got support. I had a psychologist, who was wholly supportive. I bullied my psychiatrist to do the taper “my way” instead of her way. She actually had helpful suggestions for lifestyle changes, too. I got an acupuncturist, a massage therapist, and later added an orthomolecular doctor and osteopath. I told my husband and all of my friends. I prepared for my taper. I owe so much to those who walked this path before me: AltoStrata, GiaK, Rhiannon, Petunia, BrassMonkey, MammaP, Bubble, Dalsaan, MeiMeiQuest, CymbaltaWithdrawal5600, and many more. And – to go further afield – Robert Whitaker for his excellent book, “Anatomy of an Epidemic,” and Will Hall for the “Icarus Harm Reduction Guide to Coming off Psychiatric Drugs” for showing me that it could be done, and how. And for helping me to accept that I may be different – but that different is not a medical condition. I got curious and read everything I could on the web, and learned a lot. I learned the most from SA and Beyondmeds.com. Most of what I have written as a moderator is not original – but is something I learned here or in my researches, that I applied to my life, and which I found effective. My psychiatrist resisted my desire to taper, but she told me she would support me if I put some things in place. We established a contract with my hubby, so that if I went off the rails, he would be able to get help for me. She would not taper me unless I made a commitment to take sun walks for light therapy and mood stabilization. I also eat meat and fish for mood stabilization & brain nutrition. I took up a tai chi practice and found a yoga studio which supports me. My karate mates have always supported me, even when I was too sick to participate. Meanwhile, my psychologist went to hear Robert Whitaker talk, and she came to realize how many of the cases she saw were people suffering from drug effects. She wrote glowing letters of progress to my psychiatrist, who really had no choice but to say, “Okay, I guess she’s doing well.” Nuts and bolts, I took a year to come off a low dose of reboxetine (it’s the least effective SNRI in the world, actually less effective than placebo), and another 2.5 years to come off the lithium. As I was suffering lithium toxicity (diabetes insipidus), I alternated some of my SNRI tapers with lithium tapers. I tapered 10% per month, or if while dry cutting, I had to drop by 15% (my largest taper), I would hold an extra month. I held an extra month if I had any upsets or stressors – funerals, travel, illness, bad news, etc. I held 3 months after the SNRI was gone before tapering the lithium again. My tapers were relatively symptom free. Most of my symptoms were from worry that I really was crazy – and there were mood spikes until I learned to manage my mood on my own. That’s what I should’ve learned when I got diagnosed 20 years ago. Nobody tells you that you can manage your own mood. In fact, nobody tells you that you are the only person who can manage your own mood! I greatly reduced gluten, especially wheat, and dairy. I cut the coffee way back. I start my day with protein (good for adrenals), and finish my day with carbs. I take magnesium baths whenever I feel "crunchy" and after every exercise session. I have raw food smoothies 2x a week. I take a number of supplements to manage my health without drugs. Most important: magnesium and fish oil. For mood & energy: NAC. I couldn’t take up meditation exactly, because of cult abuse in my past, but I can do tai chi and yoga, and I love breathing and mindfulness meditation. I found a great benefit to shamanic practice, because it is not worship of any foreign deity or guru, and my own inner experience is the guide to what I am learning and how I am growing. I took up creativity practices, like music, coloring, drawing, painting and writing. I took up correspondence with special people here on SA and in other places, so I could learn and grow by sharing with others. I was well supported by all of these people and practices, and I feel I have a web which will catch me if I ever fall down again. Sometimes now, I miss a practice. I might not get all the sun walks in, or I might eat wheat or dairy. But now I am well enough – I am buoyant enough – and I have enough practices – that missing one or two Jenga blocks doesn’t make the tower fall. (it also helps to not have a tall tower - our society asks too much of us, I believe, it's inhuman sometimes) When I come back, I’ll give more of my history – how crazy, abused, wild, suicidal, depressed, with unrelenting fatigue, and how I was convinced I was “bipolar.” Now, I have no diagnosis (I leave it on the medical charts so that I can refuse drugs – “No doctor, you can’t give me that, I’m bipolar!”), my body is broken from surgeries, abuse, accidents and pain. My major lasting drug effect is metabolic and autonomic dysfunction but those are compounded by surgeries, too. I still have severe delayed cycle sleep (but I always did: it is my difference), and unrelenting tinnitus. But my mental and emotional life is healthier than I’ve ever been before. I have compassion for my fellow human in a way I couldn’t before. I have passion for what I am doing, and a sense of purpose. I am driven to create, to share, to learn, to grow. I love meeting with people and listening, and feel so incredibly fortunate. I’m older and wiser than ever before, and I still have a lot of healing to do. But I am awake, alive, and grateful to be so.
  4. Hi I’m mark. I spent an hour trying to make my signature , but it wouldn’t allow it because it was to long. Tried cutting it down significantly, still to long , gave up. Basically I’ve been on a million drugs on and off , and didn’t ween off any of the em correctly except lamictal and seroquil. I can make a extremely generalized timeline . Starting with cymbalta 16-17 years ago. cynbalta -2007 1 year 2012 -1 month wellbutrin-2007- a few days xanax-2012- 1mg, recreationally 10-15 doses klonopin-2013 1year .25-1mg lexapro-1-2 months 10mg topamax-2weeks small dose lamictal— 2015 7 years- doses(25-400mg) Seroquil- 2015 5 years -15-100mg ketamine-2019 -10 iv treatments gabapentin-2020- 300mg- 2 months litrhium-2020 1200mg-1 month ambien-2020 5-10 mg 3 months Propalanol-2023 10mg -2 weeks I’ve had several med trials for past 10 years trying to address symptoms that came out of nowwhere in 2013, which I now realize we’re most likely issues from taking cymbalta at an early age , not weening off then going into more rec drug use and Xanax . past ten years of my life were terrible , Constant doctors , trying meds , psych ward visits from bad reactions , not knowing what was wrong , more meds , even was convinced I had lymw and did antibiotic protocols , hyperbaric chamber , etc. also multiple shoulder surgeries from bad shoulders , one of which was a botch job and caused terrible nerve damage furthering my issues . started realizing psych drugs were the problem in late 2021. Got off everything for about a year I got hit with a severe life threatening bout of insomnia in 2022 June , and after being off of drugs for nearly a year , had to resort back to trying things , and things spiraled quickly . While I always have had the hypersensitive nervous system symptom, i I started developing this at a new level . super sensitive to sounds ( even not loud soundslike fridge clicking on, car door in distance , anything etc). Can’t watch most movies emotions trigger symptoms . Constant tinnitus . Can’t exercise , sex release , can’t go to the store without flare .) nighttime adrenal surges / jolting . even then I STILL was seeing psych and trying meds because I was not familiar with kindling . How would I know ? I was member of benzo buddies and knew something was going on drug related but was suffering and didn’t know how else to try and fix it . Then I finally learned of kindling , and found this site . I’ve been off everything for 6-7 weeks . I see people with exact symptom profiles and I see a lot of people that don’t seem to show improvement with the hyper arousal especially from sounds . ive already suffered most of my life , and it’s been ten years and I’m not even close to better , in fact way worse. I guess what I need is a success story, for people with similar countless (to long to list) drug trials , that had the hyper arousal from sounds , lights , emotions , etc and eventually showed improvement . I don’t want to break any rules by saying how I truly feel , but this basically isn’t doable . I saw one lady that said she has the auditory arousal issues seven years later .. what?????? No.. can’t, sorry, I’ve already been in hell for 10 plus years . any success stories or other who had this issue and showed improvement WOULD help. I can’t really find any though . thank you for allowing me in the group and for reading
  5. I want to know how to detox from all the psychiatric drugs that I took in order to make possible for my body not to need to take them anymore and to eliminate all the side effects that the psych drugs gave me. This is all the drugs that I took from psychiatrists: when I was 16 years old I took first paxil and rivotril (clonazepam) for a year and then only epival er (valproate semisodium) for a year and Then when I got 21 I took paxil and rivotril for 6 months. I changed to a 2nd psychiatrist he gave me symbyax (olanzapine and fluoxetine) I was with him for 4 months, then I went with a 3rd shrink that gave me lamictal and abilify for 6 months so then I changed with a 4th doctor which was a "neurologist" who gave me strattera for ADD and told me to go with his partner who is another psychiatrist (5th doctor) who added me sertraline, topamax (topiramate), olanzapine, lamictal, and because of the tachycardia that were produce by this drugs he added inderalici for my tachycardia. So after 7 months with this doctor I went with a 6th doctor that gave me paxil, rivotril, lithium and for my ADD he gave me methylphenidate (commercial name is tradea LP which is similar to Concerta). After 6 months with this doctor I changed to a 7th doctor that gave me sertraline in a very high dose and with this I decided to stop taking that pill a was taking but in a one day span it caused me to have a psychosis that made my father send male nurses to kidnapped and locked into a clinic (like hospitalization), in which the skrink that trated me was the one that treated me when I was 16 and he injected me haldol and gave pills more haldol, biperiden, triazolam and risperdal. I LIVED HELL WITH THESE DRUGS. Then the shrink after he saw that I recover reality, I was super depressed so he gave me citalpram but it didn't work so he gave me paxil and lithium. Then I started coming off meds and now I just take one quarter of a lithium pill every day in the morning. My actual side effects that I want to eliminate are: anxiety, very strong heart palpitaions or beats/beating that cause bad breathing and chest pain, difficulty to take decisions, nausea, extreme itching in my face, head, chest and back, buzz in the ears, difficulty to focus or concentrate, bad short-term memory, and wanting to pee all the time. Thank you very much.
  6. Short introduction, I'm pyr23 currently living in the netherlands. I've been taking medications since I was 19 and have quite a host of diagnoses. Most accurate is schizo-affective, I've been struggling this like most others here for quite a while, unfortunately after 25 years I now know it's a lifelong thing. My last try for getting in a better place involved a rediagnosis for Autism, in which it it might be possible to live with another medication structure. This didn't really work out since I'm actually way to old for that. I see that now as a midlife crisis from an old psychiatric patient. We can't all have a fast car and a young girlfriend, but we can go though another diagnosis, just for old times sake. If you're young please try and keep up and keep your meds as low as possible. For some people full recovery will be possible, and the younger you start the better your chances are. Try to make space for yourself financially with family and all other support you can find, if you're in a good place try to see what is possible.
  7. Hello everyone, My name is Giulia, I'm Italian, I'm 35 and I was diagnosed as bipolar type 1 in 2010. After taking lithium for 10 years (Resilient 83 mg slow release ) , I started to reduce it in June 2022. My main motivation was to try to conceive a child without lithium. Over the next 10 months, I reduced the dose by 20% each month. I now understand that my reduction plan was too rapid, because after 10 months I stopped sleeping and went back into a long period of mania (3 months), hospitalised twice, followed by a long period of depression. Now I'm back on lithium, this time carborate, 400 slow-release (Theralithe 400 mg slow release) I would like to start the taper again, even though I'm afraid of reliving the mania and depression as withdrawal symptoms. Has someone had the same diagnosis and has a psichiatrist to suggest, that could follow me in the tapering? Has someone of you been pregnant after the withdrawal? If yes, how did it go? Thank you so much for your sharing!
  8. Hi Everyone! I’m so glad I found this forum. I hope it’s the right one for me. I came here because an antidepressant was the start of my problems. Also, I have been unable to find a forum just for people trying to get off mood stabilizers. I was put on 10 mg of Lexapro at age 36 during a moderate depression in 2004. Before long, I was told that I had a “mood disorder NOS” and 600mg lithium was added in. Eventually, I was told I had Bipolar 2 Disorder, dropped Lexapro, and 100mg Lamictal was added. I think it’s very odd to be diagnosed with BD2 at age 41. I happened across videos by a lovely man, Dr Peter Breggin. Before long, I showed them to my husband. We both knew that we had to get his book and get me off these toxins! My psychiatrist reluctantly agreed to go along with us. He called Dr Breggin an “outlier”. My taper began March 11, 2020. I took my last pills on May 14, 2020. I had a very uncomfortable week in the middle of April, but otherwise was holding it together pretty well. About two weeks after I took my last pills, I began to have more symptoms. I haven’t had a normal day since. It’s been about three weeks of ups and downs. I’m waiting for “normal“ to come back. I have had these symptoms: -hypomania in the form of over-talkativeness, scattered energy, and insomnia -anxiety, frequent but fleeting panic attacks -depression symptoms that affect the body, such as tiredness, low motivation, sensitivity to lack of sun. I have not felt the hopelessness or despair I had when I was diagnosed with depression in 2004. -I have light headaches when I feel depression symptoms. -I have heard a “buzzing” in my head, only for one day though. -I struggle to drive further than my local small grocery store. I fear highways. It’s almost as if I’m a student driver. I’ve gotten mixed up a few times. (I’ve driven for 32 years with a good record.) I hope to gain some helpful information here and I hope I can help others. I feel rather alone, knowing nobody else in person who has gone through this. Sometimes my family doesn’t seem to really get what’s going on with me, though I try to explain again and again. My husband is a treasure! He was the one who adjusted my meds for me and filled the boxes every Tuesday night. May God bless him for it! He is the wind beneath my wings. ❤️
  9. Hi everyone! In order to understand how i came where i am in my life, i will try to give you brief story of my life. Born if dysfuntional family with alcoholic father who was making living hell of the lives of my family and me. During one of those events i was almost killed at the age of 7. All of that lasted for 10 years. Then war broke out, years of insecurity, danger, poverty, never knowing what next day might bring. Anxiety, depression, emotional dysregulation, horrible self-esteem and confidence were following me throughout my life. At one point of my life, i decided to leave my homeland and look for the happiness somewhere else and i landed in Malta, tiny island in the Mediterranean. Only once i was removed from such environment i was able to focus on myself and look for help. My doctor that i met in Malta diagnosed me with cyclothimia, or bipolar disorder. I was put on lithium carbonate in july of 2018. But, for years i havent seen improvment, i was suicidal every now and then, my relationships were chaotic. Then, in 2020 i met my trauma specialized psychotherapist who told me after first season that i am having CPTSD. When i told that my pdoctor, after one low phase due to relationship issues he placee me on Lamictal in june 2020. I worked with my psychotherapist for 1,5 at the time when Lamictal dose rose again to 150mg. Since the introduction of Lamictal my life was a nightmare, but my doctor kept rising the dose, even though i told him in a few emails that i am afraid how it is affecting me, that i am highly suicidal and anxious. He told me to rise it to 200mg and never replied to my emails again. After a month and a half of that dose of 150mg I got overdosed on painkillers and ended up in the hospital. Since i was convinced that Lamictal made all of that mess, i was removed from it completely in the hospital. I was on 150mg at that point. That was the breaking point for me and thats when i decided to go off all medication. I continued with psychotherapy, changed my lifestyle, started doing brazilian jiu-jitsu,stopped abusing weed and my life changed for 180°, which was another sign that meds were doing me only bad and that i have to get off them. In September i went from 800mg of lithium to 600mg on my own. I changed my doctor eho, regardless of my whole history i told him, kept bipolar disorder diagnosis with PTSD, even though i did not have one, but reccurent traumas that lasted for more than a decade. Then i made a break until may of 2022 and my psynurse lowered it from 600 to 400mg. I got flu like symptoms, nausea, i was vomiting for 2 days, my whole body was sore. On the next check up in june of 2022 they did not want to lower my dose more, so i realize i do not have their support and that i had to do it on my own. I was on that dose for 2 months and at the mid of July i went down from 400 to 300mg and withdrawl symptoms were horrible, same flu like symptoms and such weakness in my body that i could not walk 10 meters. I had horrible nightmares for days. On 12th of August i lowered from 300mg to 200mg and even though i feel a bit down, my worst side effect are nightmares that are with me for the last 10 days. I was looking for forum like this for literally a year and i know it would be much easier for me to taper it down without a lot of trouble, but it is what it is. What should be my next step? Should i continue with 10% rule? Thank you for all of your support and time you are putting into helping.
  10. I am dismayed when I look back at the past ten years. I was diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder and headed off to college with Lexapro. Ten years of therapy, several diagnoses, seventeen medications, and one intensive outpatient program later, I still feel flat inside. My therapist has been encouraging me to reconsider my medication usage - we both share the feeling that I am overmedicated and disregulated. The medications I am currently on - Wellbutrin, Lithium, Trintellix, Caplyta, Topimarate, dosages in signature - have not nudged me in one direction or another - and I strongly desire a change. There are several reasons that drove me to Surviving ADs: Accidentally overdosing on Lithium during the summer Side effects: fine tremor in hands, difficulty getting erections, very low sex drive, constant battle against dehydration, discomfort with heat It's not sustainable for me to pay over $800/month on meds until my deductible is met My psychiatrist is leaving his practice and I need to find someone else for medication management I feel like there must be more to life than the slog the past ten years have been I don't particularly mind taking 10 pills a day, getting labs done every couple of months, or having to take Tadalafil every time I want to have sex, but it has to be worth it. Taking stock of my life right now, I don't think it's worth it. I've given it a good college try, and now I'd like to get off the ride. I'd like to plan tapering off my medications (10% at a time, of course!) while staying in talk therapy, and finding a new healthcare provider. As it goes, I'm not sure how to approach a few pieces of this: I don't really have a great relationship with a doctor at the moment - would it seem adequate to find a new doctor as a prescriber? Once again, my psychiatrist is leaving the practice, so I do need a prescriber as I taper off. How does the taper conversation go with a prescriber? How does a person taper off five medications? Is there an order of operations to follow? I'm at a point in my life where I can't even remember beyond foggy details how I felt before I was taking antidepressants. Would should I expect for returning to the unmedicated LaurenceAloof?
  11. New Member: A therapist/GP put me on Celexa in 2002 to help with occasional bouts of anger (not sadness). Then around 2014, my Celexa prescription transitioned to Lexapro/Escitalopram (20mg). This was my only prescription for many years as I was blessed with a healthy life until I decided near the beginning of 2020 to stop taking Escitalopram as I was feeling pretty good and wanted to be pharmaceutical free. Unlike myself, I didn't research the tapering process or ask for medical supervision. I took 20mg tablets when the headaches got bad. The times between headaches got further and further apart until I had not taken Escitalopram for about three-months. Then at the end of May or beginning June (2020), anxiety started to build more each day. At first I didn't understand it. Granted, this is when Covid hit and the world turned upside-down but I don't normally get too anxious about world problems. Then it hit me that this might be a reaction/withdrawal from Escitalopram. I restarted taking Escitalopram (20mg) and made a doctor's appointment. My recollection is that the anxiety was retreating for the few days I had gone back to it and I was still sleeping eight-plus hours each night. Upon my doctor's visit toward the beginning of June (2020), I told her that anxiety had kicked in a little but I was taking my Escitalopram again (I don't remember if I told her it was bringing down the anxiety). At this point she scrolled through an (Rx) app on her iPad and told me to stop taking Escitalopram and start Zoloft/Sertraline. Without questioning her I did as I was prescribed. Shortly after starting Sertraline my brain went berserk - I was getting anywhere from zero to six-hours sleep, shakes, "twitches," throbbing headaches, screaming tinnitus, severe anxiety, hours of pacing inside the house and unable to take naps. I used to be a productive person then I became a hermit rarely leaving the house. When I contacted my doctor to tell her what was going on, she seemed to minimize the urgency (my pain and agony). Usually she would just double the dosage or put me on a different prescription or tell me "she's got this." She had me take so many tests because she didn't believe it was mis-prescribing (her advice) causing the issue. She had me endure several blood tests, two CT scans (head and abdomen), a neurologist appointment (who did nothing but check if I could walk a straight line) and a hospital hosted overnight sleep study. This went on for almost five-months. I think all of the medicines can be seen somewhere on my profile. At some point, it seemed she - my general practitioner/internest - figured out that she had no idea what to do then recommended a psychiatrist to help with medicine management. He, the psychiatrist, told me stay on Escitalopram (20mg) and put me on Bupropion, Quetiapine and Lithium. At this point I'm taking four prescriptions. This is about the time my spouse found this site and learned I was not the only one going through this horrible experience. The notes and advice we found on this site seemed to make much more sense then what the doctors are/were saying or doing. At the moment, I am taking the following prescriptions: 1. Escitalopram (20mg), June 2002 - January 2020 (18-years), then back again August 2020, 2. Bupropion (300mg), Since October 2020, 3. Quetiapine (200mg), Since November 2020, 4. Lithium (300mg), Since November 2020, CURRENTLY TAPERING (down from 900mg). I want to reduce my reliance on prescription(s) as much as possible. Note that I still have the aforementioned symptoms; although, I am getting a little more sleep with a prescription (Quetiapine), that I wish to quit taking. Large parts of most days I am basically non-functional and spend time in bed with a pillow on my head. My questions include: 1. In which order should the medications be tapered? The "app" on this site wasn't much help. 2. How quickly may the medications be tapered? I see that 10% per month is common advice. Is this true for all medicines regardless of time taking? 3. Based on a few write-ups on this site, it appears going back to Escitalopram - full dosage - is "kindling" the withdrawal symptoms. So should I still slowly taper (10%) off of the Escitalopram or just get off of it quickly to stop the kindling? 4. Is there a doctor near me that has REALLY worked with someone in my predicament? My GP and Psychiatrist claimed to be experienced, but they weren't. Instead, they were experimenting with me and made it worse. 5. What should be my reaction if withdrawal or other symptoms begin - gut it out, restart the med(s) at a low dosage, high dosage, or other advice? Thank you for reading my long message and for any help you can provide.
  12. I read that it is more difficult to withdraw from a drug with a short half life. It is suggested to switch to a different drug with a longer half-life of the same category (i.e., antipsychotic) before tapering off (mind.org.uk). I have been on Risperidone for 5 years. I started tapering in April at 1.0 mg and am now on 0.70 mg. I am considering asking my doctor about switching to Zyprexa, another antipsychotic, and then tapering off Zyprexa. Does titrating off one drug and onto another need to be done as slowly as withdrawing from a drug, i.e. 10% every month or something like that? Has anyone had experience titrating off an antipsychotic onto another antipsychotic? Since Risperidone has a short half-life, I am concerned that it will be hard to switch onto a drug with a longer half life. According to Medscape, the half-life for Zyprexa is 21-54 hours, and the half-life of Risperidone is 3-20 hours. Thank you!
  13. Hi. I've been on SSRI meds for a long time. I'm currently tapering from Zoloft. I'm at 26 mg. I'm reducing at 2.5% every 2-4 weeks. My CNS is a mess and I can feel every taper. I'm so tired all the time and have no energy. I'm taking cal-mag citrate, Barleans Omega fish oil, Vitamin D3/K2, and an iron supplement for anemia. Sometimes I take Coq10. I'd like to know what has helped others with the inability to focus and with fatigue.
  14. Hello to all, Beginning on May 8th 2022 I was put on lithium carbonate at 600 mg. After about ten days I began to feel some debilitating side effects. These included being very slowed down cognitively, concentration and memory issues, and feeling exhausted after pushing myself to do a fraction of my usual amount of work. Two weeks in, I actually felt quite ill for about four days. During that time I could not even focus enough to drive a car properly and I felt completely drugged. This passed, though, but the other side effects stayed. A blood test done on May 25th showed lithium blood levels of 0,4 mmol/l, and on June 2nd the psychiatrist upped me to 800mg to get me into the therapeutic range. This just made the side effects worse. As the psychiatrist was not making sense of my symptoms I went to see my GP for help. He found no physical symptoms of toxicity (shaking hands, etc.), but he referred me to another psychiatrist to get a second opinion. (If it is useful, I can add that the only straight-up physical symptom I ever displayed was a friend noticing that I had become physically bright red after a two hour academic seminar I was struggling to stay focused in.) The second psychiatrist seemed a little worried, but not a lot, and told me to go back down to 600mg of lithium, which I did on June 14th. Still, I did not feel that what he told me was completely cogent either, which prompted me to get an online appointment with a psychiatrist specialized in de-prescribing. This psychiatrist was *much* clearer than the others and encouraged me to taper down completely over a month. So I progressively went from 800 mg to zero from June 14th to July 13th 2022, following the recommended steps of dose reduction. The tapering went well and the only symptom I experienced was unusual fatigue when bringing the dose down for a day or two. Yet, when I finished the taper, the side effects had not improved very much. Now it has now been almost four months and the side effects have only improved partially. On the bright side, I no longer feel like a zombie, but I am not entirely back to myself either. My social skills and instincts still feel off, for example. But what is very problematic is that my intellectual abilities have not returned enough to get back to work. I am in an academic field which requires a very high level of concentration, and I still feel out of my depth when attempting what should be normal for me. I am also only able to get a fraction of my normal quantity of work done, even when attempting easier things. I am currently on a medical leave of absence because of this. Another symptom I can add is that I react poorly to any kind of intensity while exercising, usually feeling unusually tired/off for a couple days afterwards. What I am seeking is an explanation of what happened with the lithium, so as to be able to find a prognosis. One psychiatrists told me that I am experiencing a difficult withdrawal and that all should be normal in a matter of months. Another wondered if I experienced a form of lithium toxicity, which can cause long term damage. But, to be honest, neither seemed very assured in what they were saying, nor to have much knowledge on lithium withdrawal. I am still seeking a comptent medical professional to guide me, but this is a slow process. The information I have found while doing research has sadly been quite confusing, and even contradictory sometimes. I would be grateful for any insight that this forum could provide. Simply being able to name what is going on with me would be a huge relief, as well as getting some sense on what kind of outcome I can hope for. Thanks for any insight you might be able to provide!
  15. Introduction topic I promised myself that if I ever survived psychiatric drugs, I’d post a “success story” on the internet because I always found such stories encouraging to read, even if they felt like a distant dream—somewhere I could never really reach. And yet here I am—I’ve made it—and it’s “withdrawal” that now feels like the distant dream (or nightmare) from a past life. I feel it’s time then for me to share my story, albeit as a video. I didn’t expect or want to make a video but my own path to “healing” is somewhat unconventional. It goes beyond tapering, which for me was insufficient on its own. So, to really share my story, I need to provide a fair amount of background information. And, for me, this centres on how I’ve come to reframe my experience with “protracted withdrawal” into something else altogether, called The Mindbody Syndrome or TMS (a concept by the late John Sarno, a rehabilitation physician). It’s through my understanding of Sarno’s mindbody approach to chronic pain and other medically unexplainable phenomena that my years of withdrawal sensations (or TMS) finally ended. I’d note I’m not the first person to use a TMS approach for “protracted withdrawal.” Others have had success as well. I’ve communicated with some of them. It seems, therefore, that more people could benefit from knowing about this. To be clear I’m not saying this approach is necessary for anyone nor am I proclaiming a definitive explanation of “protracted withdrawal syndrome.” What I’ve done is taken a demonstrably successful approach for chronic pain of unknown origin and adapted it for withdrawal sensations that seem to go on and on for no particular reason. Given the limited scientific understanding of “withdrawal syndrome”, however, my adaptation comes with significant simplifications, speculations, and leaps that many people will reasonably see as implausible and too reductionistic. I get it. Despite this, I’ve posted this video because, well, this is my own understanding of how I resolved withdrawal sensations for myself—and, also, exact physiological details aren’t so important for a mindbody approach; it’s the broader psychological concepts that matter. And, who knows, maybe this will resonate with someone else. Regardless I hope everyone finds the best path for themselves. This is the one that worked for me. Finally, I’d just say that the following video is sort of like a self-help video as well. So for any person interested in this approach, I make suggestions based on my own experiences and interpretations, but I'm not saying what anyone should actually do or think. There are also references throughout the video so there’s lots of info and authors listed for anyone who feels so inclined to look into this beyond one random guy on the internet. Note: If you find the video too confusing or shoddily made but you’re interested in this idea, I’d suggest The Mindbody Prescription by John Sarno or The Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich for a better explanation of the psychology of TMS; or, if you’re interested in a more “scientific perspective”, I’d suggest Psychophysiologic Disorders by Howard Schubiner et al. (Psychophysiologic disorder is basically just another name for The Mindbody Syndrome.) Each of these books goes into medically unexplainable phenomena beyond chronic pain.
  16. As a 60 yo woman I took a hard look at my past life of various antidepressants since 1981 inevitably winding up with a 40 year RX drug habit, over weight and in pain. I'm active and eat health following an anti inflammatory diet w/ very little dairy or gluten and was just stuck physically. June 6th 2023 I made the decision to do a hard reset and stop My high dose Paxil and Deseryl and Xanax, not taper. As you'd expect the following week was of your typical physical drug withdrawal response, insomnia, loss of appetite, diaphorsis etc. What I didn't expect was that in the second week I started to feel an undeniable amount of strength returning, muscle coordination improvement and lack of pain. A high akin to a mushroom trip with heightened senses of pleasure, euphoria and an overwhelming sense of calm. I feel awake for the first time in decades. No unwanted thoughts or emotions, I have 40 years of coping skills and cognitive behavioral therapy in my arsenal. My gut health was the first to return to normal - there was No more bloating , constipation or abdominal pain. The chronic pain I'd been suffering with limiting my ADLs was GONE! And remains that way. I now have the flexibility of my teenage self and am back to practicing yoga on the floor with relatives ease. It's almost as if every cell in my being is undergoing a rebirth and is new again. The only side effect I have found unpleasant is scattered facial numbness which I'm hoping will ease its way back to normal as well. The 'electrical shocks' were an interesting side effect , it feels as though the nerves in my body are awaking again for the first time and I feel great. It's only been 20 days and I feel newborn and loving it... Finding this site has been a relief. There is No Support available for Antidepressant Withdrawl. It is not even discussed in the Healthcare industry. To entertain this thought process is considered non complainant , a 'behavioral' abnormality. I am in control of my mind, my body and my senses for the first time in my life ❤️
  17. My Physiatrist wont let me taper by splitting my pills. She's having me take it every other day or every three days. I think this isn't allowing for a slow enough taper because I have already had one relapse after trying to go off.
  18. Hi, all. Thank you so much for providing this site. I’ve been inspired by the stories here, and look forward to my own recovery and hope to help others as I can along the way. It’s been a hellish year… I have a rather long story – 99% of which takes place within the last year – so please bear with me. I’ll write this out in a timeline for organization’s sake. In essence, I have a history of anxiety and depression, and have OCD. I have been suffering from severe postpartum anxiety (PPA) and depression (PPD) since delivering my son in May 2018 – exacerbated by a move out East so I could start my PhD, the decline and death of my dog, dealing with childhood trauma, etc. I was on Prozac and Xanax as needed before I was pregnant and went off without any problems while we were trying to conceive. I had an uncomplicated pregnancy. Here we go… 1999ish – 2005 (6th grade – high school) (Zoloft, Lexapro, Wellbutrin) I was diagnosed with severe academic perfectionism and OCD and put on (I think) Zoloft first (not sure of dosage). In the years that followed, I was on Lexapro and Wellbutrin, all in various combinations. I don’t remember timing or dosages. I don’t remember having a hard time coming on or off any of the meds. I was chronically ill in high school, though, with fatigue, mono, sinusitis, shingles (to be fair, I had immunological issues before going on meds, too, and a complicated family situation). I took the year after high school off to recover, went off all meds. All I remember is feeling tired and my sleep being on a weird schedule. 2005 – 2009 (no meds) I started taking some community college classes, started volunteering, and then working full-time. Started paying more attention to my diet (went off gluten and most dairy after I realized it made me feel better). Was doing very, very well. Summer 2009 – Summer 2017 (40 mg Prozac daily, ? Xanax PRN rarely taken; occasional supplements - multi vitamin, vitamin D, fish oil, probiotics) Started on 40mg Prozac (slow taper to START it), as a ‘preventative’ measure against OCD and perfectionism (I know… probably wasn’t necessary, but I can’t prove a negative) as I was about to start at a university in the fall of 2009; I was pushed by family (also on psych meds) to start. I think it helped somewhat but it’s hard to know. Eventually, I had an Rx of Xanax, which I took maybe 5-10x/year as needed. I did well in college, though, started a great career, went to the UK on scholarship to do my Master’s and then decided to QUICKLY taper off the Prozac when my husband and I (we married in 2014) decided to conceive. I don’t remember having any issues coming off the Prozac. I was on it fairly consistently for 8 years. Summer 2017 – May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Pregnant, more depressed than usual, especially after moving back home from the UK and being unsure of what was next. Still, did the damn GRE, applied to PhD programs, got into a great program out East, started setting up our life out there. Obsessive compulsive symptoms were worse than usual but not unmanageable. Late May 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Delivered my son. Epidural, long labor. Started breastfeeding. Early June 2018 (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Had a week of awful insomnia and anxiety and intrusive thoughts, but it went away. Early June – Mid-July (no meds; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Doing okay, just exhausted and depressed (I was breastfeeding around the clock). One week in mid-July 2018 (? Xanax, one-time dosage ~6mg Zoloft, and one-time dosage 2mg Ativan, one-time dosage ? Klonopin in hospital; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) Then, at around 7 postpartum weeks - BAM - I was hit with a week of NO SLEEP. I just couldn't sleep and I lost my appetite. I had been given an Rx for Zoloft by my OBGyn and took a very small amount that Friday (I wanted to ease in). That night, all my symptoms were much worse – and I also felt this severe restlessness in my limbs. It was AWFUL. I even tried Xanax to calm me down (I gave to my son pumped breastmilk). My anxiety was so bad that I went to the ER that Sunday. They drew blood and it turned out that my blood sodium was dangerously low (126) - possibly due to not eating enough and drinking too much water. They gave me Ativan (2 mg – which was A LOT for my system), some Klonopin, too, eventually, and fluids overnight and I felt MUCH better the next day. I was given Ativan and Remeron as needed but didn't need to take it for a few weeks. Mid-July to Late Aug 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily; supplements: prenatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil) I was fine for a few weeks, and then my family and I moved out East, where I was attending grad school (I’m now on medical leave). The anxiety and insomnia came back around the move in August. I took Ativan (0.5 – 1 mg) as needed each day and had some rebound anxiety but was able to get through until setting up care there. I was assigned an interim psychiatrist (before being placed with a regular one), who Rxed me 0.5 Ativan to take at night to sleep for 10 days. This worked for sleep, but not the overall anxiety and depression. Due to breastfeeding concerns, they switched me to Trazodone (25-50 mg), which worked ok for sleep. Eventually, I was able to fall asleep on my own for a couple/few nights. That would be the last time I could do that to-date. Late Aug to Late Sept 2018 (0.5 – 1mg Ativan daily, 1-5mg Prozac, 25-50 mg Trazodone; supplements: postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, probiotics?) I started seeing a regular psychiatrist in early September, and we agreed I should go back on the Prozac with 1 mg Ativan/day as needed. We started sloooow on the Prozac - 1mg, then 2, then 5. By week 3, I had lost my appetite completely, and my anxiety was through the roof - just on 5mg (I was on 40 before becoming pregnant, so I couldn’t understand why I was feeling so terribly). The Trazodone was no longer helping me sleep, and was giving me terrible dry mouth. My limbs felt like they were vibrating. My psydoc FINALLY directed me to go off the Prozac and Ativan, and Rxed me just Klonopin 0.75mg/day. In addition to the psychiatrist, I saw a primary care doc, who checked my thyroid, adrenal glands (several tests there), vitamin levels, and other things - all normal. My blood sodium has still been a little low, but they believe it's due to not eating enough. Oct 2018 (Klonopin 0.25 – 0.75mg/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) My appetite returned but it was never the same. I was sleeping better, but not well – maybe 6 hours at most, sometimes waking in a panic. I could only take one class. I was very depressed and frustrated, and deeply confused as to why I wasn’t responding to medications. But I felt BETTER than when I was on the Prozac, and was able to feel like I could sleep on my own again, and on just 0.25mg Klonopin/day – but the plan was to let me ‘settle’ and then try a new AD, sooo… Nov 2-4 2018 (25mg Anafranil at night, 0.25-0.5mg Klonopin/day; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) The psydoc suggested Anafranil, a TCA. The day I started it, we put my dog down and I stopped breastfeeding (I had been tapering on that for months). It wasn’t a great time to start something. But I did. I took it the night of the 2nd, fell asleep instantly, then woke up feeling SO GOD AWFUL about 3 hours later. I had a tremor, I vomited, I couldn’t eat. My husband had to hold me while I shook in bed. I called the psydoc and she told me to keep taking it, sounding annoyed with me. So I pushed through for three days – but that was all I could do. Until then, that was the worst I have ever felt. Nothing could calm me down. Things start heating up here, so I’ll spare some details and focus more on the med changes… Nov 5-8 2018 I barely remember these days. Sleep was poor, I felt awful. Then on a Thursday night, I was up all night with panic attacks. I called my therapist and made the decision to go into the psych hospital. Nov 9 – 15 2018 (In hospital, put on 0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day and worked up to 100 mg Seroquel at night) I didn’t start sleeping until I was put on a combination of Seroquel and Klonopin. BUT, I remember this creeping feeling of “buzziness” and restlessness when I woke up everyday. That feeling would continue to get worse over the coming weeks and stay with me to the present. Nov 15 – Early Dec 2018 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day → 0.25mg Klonopin 2x/day; 100mg Seroquel at night; some supplements – don’t remember) I left the hospital taking 100mg Seroquel at night and 0.5 mg klonopin 2x/day. I officially went on medical leave from grad school. I stuck with this doseage for 2ish weeks, was sleeping well but feeling horribly depressed and anxious, then started to quickly taper the Klonopin. I don’t remember how quickly – but I wasn’t taking anymore than 0.5mg/day by early December. I then tapered on the Seroquel after feeling SO much worse when an IOP psydoc tried bumping the dose to 125mg; I remember not being able to sit still – going outside to pace. No tremor – just pacing, fidgeting, and losing a lot of weight. Early December 2018 – Early Jan 2019 (1mg Ativan at night, 2.5mg Zyprexa at night, 25-100mg Lamictal; postnatal vitamin, 800 mg folic acid, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, started taking some B complex, I might have tried some hormone-balancing herbs – I don’t remember exactly, probiotics?) I made the decision to move back home to do a program specialized in PPD (we ended by moving back entirely later that winter). In the program, I was put on 0.5-1mg Ativan at night, 2.5 mg Zyprexa at night (for sleep – though it never helped), and titrated up to 100mg Lamictal (the psydoc suspected a bipolar spectrum diagnosis). I was still incredibly restless, unable to sit down and just enjoy a movie. And my sleep was growing worse and worse. It was awful – then my mood grew worse and worse as we went up on the Lamictal; I also had increasingly bad tinnitus and TMJ. I was hospitalized as my thinking became suicidal – just ideations, but I was ready to go back in… Early to Mid-Jan 2019 (0.5mg Klonopin 2x/day, 5mg Paxil/day, 50mg Benadryl at night; 0.25-1mg Risperidone 1-2x/day; some supplements?; THEN back to 150mg Seroquel) In the hospital, I was taken off the Lamictal and put on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep), and Risperidone 0.25mg once or twice a day (I don’t remember). I became increasingly orthostatic (low BP, high HR). I stabilized mood-wise – sorta – and left the hospital feeling off, but better… Within days, though, we tried increasing the Risperidone, and my HR went up to 140 (I think we tried 1 mg). I wasn’t sleeping AT ALL. I was taken off the Risperidone, stayed on 5mg Paxil once/day, 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, Benadryl 50mg at night (for sleep). Eventually, as my sleep diminished, the PPD IOP doc put me back on Seroquel (I has actually asked to go back on) – but suggested as much as 150mg. After that, my mood really shifted and became erratic; I was really upset and angry at my husband and suicidal ideation returned. So it was suggested I go back in the hospital... Late Jan to Mid-Feb 2019: 3-week hospital stay (see below for crazy med changes) All the docs agreed I didn’t need to be in there this long (everyone kept asking why I was still there), but there I was so they could keep throwing stuff at me to see if something stuck. I was holding out hope SOMETHING would work this time...: First week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 100 mg Seroquel at night, 300mg XR lithium 2x/day (HORRIBLE stomach reaction, especially when the doc abruptly pulled the Seroquel) Second week: 0.5 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, some amount of Depakote (I don’t remember – wasn’t improving, irritable), tried PRNs of 12.5mg Seroquel and became really depressed Third week: 1 mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 1200mg gabapentin (taken as 300mg twice during the day, and 600mg at night). That’s how I left the hospital. Mid-Feb to Early-March 2019: (0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day, 50mg Seroquel at night, 300mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 600mg at night, brief re-trial of lithium – 150mg; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics?) Instantly went down to 0.75mg Klonopin 2x/day (fear of dependence). New trauma-based IOP. Was very constipated. Tried low-dose lithium (150mg) as lithium seemed to be the only med to be helping to-date (along with benzos); was improving somewhat mood-wise, but the stomach issues were SO bad, so we went off. After going off lithium, my restlessness SKYROCKETED, and was particularly bad for 10 days. My stomach was AWFUL; I was taking antacids all the time; seemed to be worse after taking gabapentin, so the new IOP doc cut THAT dosage in half. Developed a tremor. The new IOP psydoc diagnosed me with akathisia – FINALLY. I had NEVER heard of that before (although, in retrospect, I think it has been mentioned to me in the hospital as a possible side-effect of the antipsychotics – but I remember them saying “you can get this, but I don’t see that in you, so…” and so I ignored it (dumb)). When I read about it, I felt so frustrated; this had, no doubt, been plaguing me since at least the one-time Zoloft attempt in July - and in particular since the first Seroquel doseage in November. Doc suggested I reduce my Seroquel from 50 to 25mg; I couldn’t do that for a couple of weeks. Early to Mid-March (→0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, brief re-trial of Depakote – don’t remember dosage; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Continue reducing my Klonopin down to 0.25mg during the day and 0.5mg at night. We tried XR Depakote as a Hail Mary in the med department. It seemed to help a bit, but also increased some of the restlessness. At this point – and this should have come sooner for me – I was done – just DONE– with med changes. My body needed a break. I haven’t added or taken away and particular meds since (with one exception - the propranolol, see below) – though I have reduced the dosages… Early April (0.25mg Klonopin during day and 0.5-0.75mg/night, 25mg Seroquel at night, 200mg Gabapentin 2x daytime and 300mg at night, up to 70mg propranolol throughout the day; multivitamin, 1,000-2,000 mg vitamin D, ? fish oil, 1200mg evening primrose oil, probiotics) Was diagnosed with thyroiditis (my thyroid had been normal as recently as January) – a relatively common thing postpartum, but it was ‘late’ to arrive to be postpartum thyroiditis, so doctors suspected the lithium. B/c I was hyperthyroid first (usually follows a pattern of a few months in 'hyper'/overactive mode, followed by anywhere from 3 to 18 (or more) months underactive. I was put on propranolol (taking as much as 70mg throughout the day). That seemed to help the tremor, heart palpitations, and restlessness maybe 50-75% of the time. But it crashed my BP. Early-April to Present (see below) We’ve moved into a new, stable house (both good and really stressful). As of early June, I am off the Seroquel. I tapered from 25 to 0mg by reducing by about 6.25mg every two weeks or so. I tried re-starting it to do an every-other-day ending taper, and felt instantly WORSE, so I am done. But it was probably too quick a taper. I NEVER want to take another antipsychotic again, though; I can point to the beginning of the worst parts of this whole cluster to starting Seroquel, and the akathisia that ensues and continues. I reduced the daytime Klonopin to 0 (though I’ve had to take a 0.0625mg to 0.125mg PRN three times in June as things have grown worse). I still take 0.5mg Klonopin at night. In June, I also went off the propranolol – too quickly – and have been having heart palpitations, and have been orthostatic. My BP was just getting to be so, so low. Now, taking any amount of it seems to make me more agitated/restless or, at best, woozy. In June, I also got ambitious and reduced the gabapentin from taking 400 mg during the day (200mg 2x/day) to 0 at the end of June, mostly b/c I thought it was making me feel worse; I’m not sure on this STILL (or if it ever did much of anything). I still take 300mg at night with 0.5 mg Klonopin. May was my best month - not great (I was still constantly restless, struggled with my appetite, and was really disoriented and depressed), but it felt more manageable. I should have done a slower taper on all things when I felt more stable, then – but here I am. June started out okay but, after going off the Seroquel and trying a glass of wine again (out with a friend), it’s been awful; the akathisia is back in full swing. NOW I seem to have reached this point where my body won’t tolerate much of anything again – as if it’s saying “if you’re done with one, then you’re going to be done with them ALL.” I’ve also noticed that the first half of my menstrual cycle is FAR AND AWAY WORSE than the latter half – and am trying to explore ways to (as naturally as possible) balance my hormones. I tried bioidentical progesterone cream that an integrative MD Rxed and it helped somewhat, but caused cramping and spotting and an upset stomach – no go. Currently Taking 0 – 200mg gabapentin during the day; 300mg gabapentin at night 0.5mg Klonopin at night 5mg melatonin (+10mg B6 – combo pill) at night Fish oil (1400mg EPA + 480 DHA) in morning and afternoon 1500mg primrose oil morning and afternoon 200-400mg magnesium glycinate at night, and magnesium oxide throughout day 2000mg vitamin D afternoon Cal+Mag+Potassium supplement afternoon 2 kinds of probiotics morning Multivitamin morning What Makes Things Worse Alcohol; I haven’t been able to tolerate this since sometime early spring – makes me SUPER anxious. Any antihistamine; it used to help me sleep but something in the last 2-4 months has changed my brain so I now feel WORSE the next morning. Some vitamins (I say that b/c I sometimes feel more buzzy after taking a multivitamin; on the other hand, sometimes I feel better) Caffeine (not that I’ve tested this too much; the most I ever drink is a cup of green tea, and I haven’t been able to do that in weeks) Antacids (found that out the hard way) What Helps Epsom salt baths Sweating Crying (when I am able to) Walking (especially in sunshine) Melatonin (at night – for sleep) Klonopin (but I am trying not to go over 0.5mg/day – mostly at night; and want to taper off) Massage Stretching Kombucha (not too much, though b/c caffeine) Apple cider vinegar + lemon water (ahead of meals and when I have an upset stomach – at east once/day) Eating enough (really tough to do right now) Not Sure if it Helps (tried/trying it) Acupuncture (doing this for a few months now) Therapy – CBT, talk Gabapentin (want to taper off anyway) Primrose oil Multivitamin Fish oil Magnesium Calcium CBD oil What I Need Help With I’m here b/c I need to feel like I’m not crazy when the psydoc says this isn’t still akathisia. I KNOW it is – I KNOW it’s protracted withdrawal and the effect of such a brain-altering year. I know this b/c, even in my most anxious moments pre-postpartum medications, I never felt this protracted insatiable restlessness and dread. I was a champ at sleeping (though a night owl). And my appetite was always solid (too much so, at times). This is DIFFERENT. I also want to get off the gabapentin and the Klonopin – but do so in a smart way. I’m not sure the gabapentin is a net evil right now and shouldn’t be taken off altogether? And is the gabapentin the best thing to drop first? And I need help managing the akathisia. I've read some tips here, and will explore those. Any help on the hormone piece would be invaluable. There is something there. I feel the effects of akathisia/withdrawal/autonomic disregulation far more at the start of my cycle. And this whole postpartum period has been inherently hormonally disregulating (compounded by meds like Depakote, which altered my cycle). Anyone else? Anything help? I plan to keep a more focused journal as this site recommends and track my symptoms alongside food, supplement, and med changes. Of course, what sucks THE MOST is the lost time and what's been taken - from the joy of being a new mother, to what was supposed to be a fulfilling career move in pursuing my PhD (I might have to give up my place now b/c I'm so disabled), to feeling defective for not responding to the 'right treatments.' The worst year of your life should not also be the first year of motherhood. To those of you that read this monster of a post – or event 10% - THANK YOU.
  19. Help777

    Help777: journal

    Effexor x12 years. Added lithium in sept 2015. Added prozac in october to help bridge taper from effexor as i started having symptoms. Started withdrawing effexor in September 2014. Over last 4 months i went From 112.5 to 14mg as of last week.. Last week I seemed to all of a sudden hit a wall. Crying uncontrollably constantly. Shaking, nausea, extreme fear and overwhelming need to cry. Ive read your site. Ive reinstated to 20 mg of effexor for last 3 days but absolutely no improvement. Im so scared. I cant go to work like this. Continuing prozac 20 and lithium 300. Please help.
  20. Hello. Details below but I think I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms, mainly intense anxiety and insomnia. Both seem to be geting better following the windows and waves pattern, but it's exhausting. Looking to make sense of what I'm going through and support. Brief med and treatment history 2002-2019 Lithium 900-1200 mg (0.6-9.0 mEq/L blood serum levels), 2018-2019 Prozac 20 mg. After trying various mood stabilizers following manic episode precipitated by Zoloft (very high 100mg+ dosage), I was prescribed lithium, which I took most of the period from 2002 until I stopped it in 2019. During that time I tried various other mood stabilizers, including depakote, lamictal, carbemazepine, and abilify in addition or instead of lithium. 2008-2010 became dependent and withdrew from benzodiazipes. Underwent ~20 ECT treatments in 2010 following hospitalization for depression which marked a turning point in course of "illness." Significant improvement in my life from 2010-2020 but some anxiety and depression symptoms remained. Tapering Started Prozac in early 2018 to help with continued chronic anxiety and mild depression. Prozac did help...most notably with the anxiety. I recall it seeming to lift a huge weight off my shoulders, allowing me to let go of the indecision, rumination and general anxiety. While on the prozac, I stopped lithium, tapering fairly rapidly, going from 900 mg/day to 600 mg, to 300 mg, dropping down after a couple months each step. In late 2019, I then went off the prozac, going from 20 mg to 10 mg for about 2 months, then to 0. I was not aware of this website or procedures to taper even more slowly. Current State - Withdrawal? Beginning in 2020 after being off prozac a couple months and lithium over a year, I began experiencing bouts of intense disabling anxiety, insomnia and intense emotions (crying for hours on occasion). All of these seem to be of a different quality than the anxiety symptoms that led me to take the Prozac and very different from anything before then. At the same time, I have also been experiencing periods of clarity and heightened consciousness, which feel like my brain and mind waking up after many many years. Also, have had some periods of calmness. Its hard to make sense of the mix of feelings and sensations, but for the closest experience to the clear periods, I have to go back to my teenage years before the diagnosis and before the pills. After reading the New Yorker profile on Laura Delano, I learned more about antidepressant withdrawal through this website and some of her work. I think it's probably the best explanation of what I am dealing with and am looking for help getting through this. I feel like I am on the precipice of regaining a full mind and life after 20 years in varying degrees of darkness. But this is also scary, hard, and it's difficult to keep things together. I am continuing to juggle a demanding career, parenting a two year old and five year old, and being a good husband....while caring for myself and trying to practice self-compassion as I go through what I view as a major life event. Looking for support and to hear more about others experience, hopefully to give me some confirmation that there's an end to what I'm going through. Up typing this in the middle of a stretch of anxiety and insomnia.
  21. Hello everyone, I'm confused lately on what's going on. I'll share my history first: I was on Effexor, Lithium, Klonopin and Tegretol for various times for anxiety and bipolar (although I'm not sure if I was bipolar or just developmental psychology throughout my 20's). Anyway, I came off all drugs after tapering. The klonopin was the last drug I came off back in 2012. I healed from it all around 2 years later.... Here's what's strange after all these years of feeling better, I suddenly got derealization and depersonalization again along with adrenaline and some tinnitus. I'm just curious if this is because of stress in life OR if it's a setback. Perhaps my brain was still healing on the back burner? Maybe I took something that caused me to setback or overwhelming stress: only things I can think of I took the past month was nicotine gum, collagen supplement or retinoid creme for my face. Only things I can think of. Just strange after all these years off meds and healed, a few of the symptoms come back. Don't get me wrong, I've healed myself bucket loads in 10 years, but why some of the symptoms return? Can this happen because of stress or something we took? The derealization and depersonalization are the worst: I haven't been able to feel much emotion in 2 weeks now. Just terrible stuff. Thanks, D.
  22. Moderator note: Link to benzo forum thread: summitbound: Poly-drugged: Thinking about tapering an AD w/ benzo Hello, I'm brand new to this site. I've been so busy learning about benzo tapering (and suffering!) on benzobuddies.org that I have yet to tackle getting off any of my antidepressants. I've already been tapering the benzo for over a year. I know that the general rule is to taper off your benzos first, and then work on your antidepressants. That said, I probably have a year or more left on my benzo taper and I hate being poly drugged with three antidepressants. I'd like to safely chip away at at least one of them. I think the mirtazipine is really helping with my sleep during bezno withdrawal, so I don't think I want to touch it. It seems like the low hanging fruit would be the lithium, since it seems I'm on a less than theraputic dose at 675 mg. Thoughts? So far, I have been "blessed" during my benzo taper in that I have not suffered from depression, severe anxiety, or panic. So I do want to tread carefully. Thanks so much!
  23. Jac12844

    Jac12844: scared

    I would put information in my signature, but I can't figure out how. I have been off and on more psychiatric meds than I can count over the last 20 years. Most of them were SSRI's but a few were mood stabilizers, atypical antipsychotics, and benzodiazepines. I didn't seem to have trouble stopping or starting medications until about 3 years ago, but I didn't understand what was happening. In Sept 2020 I had a terrible experience when I reduced paxil from 5mg to 2.5mg and tried to reinstated to 5mg after 2 weeks. After 4 days of reinstating, I ended up with extreme anxiety, agitation, and suicidal thoughts. I couldn’t tolerate the 2.5mg dose anymore and would get anxiety rushes each time I took a dose so my psych NP advised me to stop and switch to very low dose Vraylar. I stayed on that until early December. I was having some intrusive thoughts on it and some thoughts of suicide so I tried to switch to Effexor which I have been on many times in the past. It did not work. I kept getting adrenaline rushes and anxiety from 1/3 of a 37.5mg pill. I only took 4 doses. It sent me into a hole it seems. It made the Vraylar not work right and I was extremely depressed and anxious and developed more intense intrusive thoughts about death, derealization, and abnormal thinking that I have never experienced. I was on a very low does so my psych NP advised me that I could just stop. That was 2 weeks ago. The intrusive thoughts, abnormal thinking, and most of the derealization have subsided. However, for the past 2 weeks I have had extreme anxiety, fear, agitation, fear of being alone, insomnia, tinging, and burning sensations on my skin, trembling, and restlessness. I feel like my nervous system is ruined. I have taken a few doses of klonipin which have helped but I know this is not a long term solution. I’m terrified and thinking about going inpatient as I don’t know what else to do. I have been laying on the couch with my husband for the last two weeks mostly feeling terrified. I can't continue this way. I know the idea here is to get off of meds, but I don't know if I can do that. Has anyone had luck going inpatient. I'm scared to go and scared not to go. I'm scared of trying a medication and scared of not. Any help is appreciated. I'll add that I am still taking trazodone 50mg-100mg to sleep as well.
  24. I had been on some form of anti-depressant and mood stabilizer/anti-psychotic since high school, 2002 or 2003. Initially I was put on Zoloft for depression which caused me to become "manic" which lead me to be put on Lithium, Abilify and Risperdal (not sure doses or when). Starting around 2008 I was put on Cymbalta and Lamotrigine/Lamictal. I got off the Cymbalta & Lamictal cold turkey on my own in 2011 and it resulted in brain-zaps and then a deep deep depression. I reluctantly got back on my meds. Beginning in 2020 (exact date I'm trying to find), my psychiatrist agreed to help me taper off my meds. I was able to get off the Cymbalta it seems fairly easily, which I have been off since the end of the Summer 2020. After getting off that I began tapering off the Lamictal ... I'm trying to find information on how much I lowered initially, etc., and don't have it right now. I do know I got down to 100mg by November 2020 and had to go back up to 150mg over the winter due to debilitating depression. Starting in ~March 2021 I began tapering again (again don't have exact dates/dosages as of now). I have detailed records of my tapering beginning in May 2021 when I began using the 25mg tabs to taper: 5/18/21 (May 18) - 6/13/21 (June 13): I alternated daily between 87.5 mg one day and 100 mg the next day (87.5mg/100mg/87.5/100) 6/14/21 - 6/21/21: 87.5mg each day 6/22/21 - 7/11/21: 75mg/87.5mg/75/87.5 7/12/21 - 7/26/21: 75mg each day 7/27/21 - 8/8/21: 62.5mg/75mg/62.5/75 8/9/21 - 8/30/21: 62.5mg each day 8/31/21 - 9/12/21: 50mg/62.5mg/50/62.5 9/13/21 - 9/26/21: 50 mg/day 9/27/21 - 10/10/21: 37.5mg/50mg/37.5/50 10/11/21 - 10/24/21: 37.5mg/day 10/25/21 - 11/7/21: 25mg/37.5mg/25/37.5 *On November 1, 2021, my dog and best friend of 10+ years, the Big Guy (110lb. half boxer/half mastiff), died after a brief fight with cancer... in retrospect I should have ceased tapering at this point; instead I continued my tapering in earnest and began to self medicate excessively with alcohol and cannabis 11/8/21 - 11/21/21: 25mg/day 11/22/21 - 12/5/21: 12.5mg/25mg/12.5/25 12/6/21 - 12/20/21: 12.5mg/day 12/21/21 - 12/31/21: 0mg/12.5mg/0/12.5 January 1, 2022 - Present: Off Lamicital Completely I had no idea about this site or a couple days ago. I have been realllllly struggling this whole year but especially the past couple weeks. Some days I am so depressed I can hardly get out of bed. Some days I am "functional." I have major brain fog where I can hardly think most of the time (which is not good for my job!). I can't hardly make even the most basic decision. It is bad. I am desperate. I do not know what to do. I really don't want to get back on the Rx. I'm looking for suggestions on how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms. I have been sober (no alcohol or cannabis) since January 1st as well. I workout, do Wim Hoff breathing, garden, meditate/pray and eat mostly organic. Supplements: EMPowerPlus Lighting Sticks, 5-HTP, Vitamins C, D, B-complex (6&12) & K2, Magnesium Glyinate, Kyolic Aged Garlic Extract; Just started taking St. John's Wort a couple weeks ago I don't really recall withdraw symptoms (depression) prior to my Dog being diagnosed with cancer in September 2021 (which coincides with me getting down to 50mg/day)--since he was diagnosed and then passed Nov. 1st, I have been mostly depressed. The brain fog didn't really start that I recall until ~January of this year when I was totally off -- but I could be wrong. Since November of last year, it has kind of been a blur. On another note, while not directly related to withdrawal, I am very unhappy with my current career and have been for some time. I think doing something that goes against my values and not really knowing what my purpose is has a big impact on me feeling depressed. However, right now with my brain fog and depression, I am having a really hard time doing any work whatsoever. So my purpose now is to get past these withdrawal symptoms so I can find my purpose in this world and what gift I can offer to other people. I am VERY wary of getting back on any RX and do not want to go that route if at all possible. Thank you if you read this far and I appreciate any advice on how I should proceed!! -Will
  25. Hello everyone. I'm Vega. I started tapering my medication earlier this year after coming to the conclusion with my doctor that they weren't doing much for me and were negatively impacting my physical health. I fully went off Seroquel over the course of a few months, which was difficult but not impossible. I'm now tapering my Lithium. I started two months ago by going from 600mg to 300mg and the withdrawal was 10 tens worse than for the Seroquel. I've had nausea, intense migraines, flu-like symptoms, memory problems, the whole thing. This is seriously one of the most difficult things I've ever had to go through. My doctor agreed to taper me by 50mg next time, which I feel is encouraging. However, the symptoms from my first taper aren't fully gone yet and I don't know how long I should wait before tapering again. I have been searching for a forum like this for literal weeks and I'm overjoyed to have finally found an active forum dedicated to this topic. I'm sure all the info available on this forum will very useful to me on this awful yet necessary journey.
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