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  1. hey, i have been experiencing some really bad distress lately. i was put on lexapro 10mg in april 2017 for depression at 18 years old. after one month i experienced the all familiar sexual dysfunction, but since it seemed to give me some relief, i continued to take it, as this was also a stressfull part of my life, with exams during my final school year. after 6-7 months on lexapro i decided i have had enough and quit the medication cold turkey. my immediate withdrawals werent so bad. i felt a sense of light headedness during the day which only lasted about 2 seconds each time, paired with restlessness. it lasted for about a month until it was over. i got on remeron 2 months later and only stayed on it for about 2,5 months before i tapered it over a period of 4 weeks with no symptoms really. now its close to over 8 months since i quit lexapro and i still have some form of sexual function. i cant get erect through thoughts and images, and need physical stimulation either by me or my girlfriend. when im erect i also have very little senseitvity in my penis. at best its a slight ticklish feeling on the penis head. my erections are sometimes hard, but also vanish quickly, though i have had some recent success with the use of cockrings for harder and long lasting erections. my other major symptom is emotional numbness. at the moment i can feel anxiety, sadness through periods of crying, which mostly is triggered by the thought that this is gonna be permanent, and i will never have a fucntion body and brain again. i can still laugh and smile, but it all feels sort of fake and artifical. i havent experienced joy that could be with my for days and get me through several days at the time since i started this medication. the feelings of happiness i get is only in my thoughts, as in i know i should be happy about something, but i dont feel it in my body, just my mind, i dont get a body high from emotions to put it another way. after i started meditating during my remeron taper was about the same time i started seeing my current gf, and i could feel some form of sexual energy going through me parts of the day, and during meditation. it didnt even have to be fully sexual, just her sitting on my lap or w/e, and i would start to get horny and get a small erection going for a bit. it calmed me down in the moment because i already knew about pssd and feared the worst, however that has since dissappered, and hasnt returned for a couple of months. im really looking for answers as my GP and psychiatrist dont believe this really exist, or it is a result of depression. i know for a fact i am not depressed, becuase i rememeber the day i woke up with depression as a day with a gray feeling in chest, sort of where i would get that infaction feel when you crush on someone. that feeling is not present now, and i feel that its just the emotions lacking at this point. for my symptoms i just did a bloodcheck for hormones like test to see if those are the causes for genital numbness, but i doubt it. im writing this short story because im really getting worried that my life will never be like it used to. i will never experience happiness from talking to someone or seeing them again, i will never feel pleasure from sex, which has been pretty barren since i got together with my gf, we only managed it two times. im either not erect enough or losing it just as im inserting the penis, but my psychiatrist says its just mental, which it might very well be to a certain extent. im honestly just looking for some reassurense from someone that this will be over at some point. im hoping it wont 3-5 years like many success stories i read, but if thats the case, so be it. im will be happy if i will get back to normal at some point before my mid to late twenties, becasue i honestly dont think i can go on like this forever, this is just torture. the worst and most raging part about my AD journey was that my doctor assured me that lexapro was "neutral" in his word, and side effects were minor, and i took it because of me being in a vunerable posistion and needing some relief, but now i think im in this for the long run, or the rest of my life, but thats not really an option. i just feel tricked and scammed down to the worst level, even tho i can barely feel anything, i can feel so much anger towards that GP. i dont know how this story reads, because english isnt my native language, but im just looking if anyone can tell me this will be okay and that in years i can write my complete success story, though i dont know what to expect in the coming months or years. please excuse any silly mistakes, this was written in a hurry and i just want some feedback to hopefully calm my mind.
  2. See journal articles about PSSD in Papers about Post-SSRI Sexual Disorder (PSSD) Please note that SurvivingAntidepressants is a site for tapering and recovery from withdrawal syndrome. While we see PSSD sometimes as an aspect of withdrawal syndrome (and we see gradual recovery from it as well as withdrawal syndrome), this site is not specifically for discussion of treatment of PSSD or its neurological origins (which at this time are highly speculative). If you wish to discuss symptoms, theories, and treatment of PSSD, please go to these sites: PSSDforum http://www.pssdforum.com/ Yahoo group SSRIsex (log in to http://Yahoo.com to join) Facebook group (log into Facebook.com to join) Various pages on Rxisk.org
  3. hi everyone, I have been reading posts on this website for a while and decided it's time to join and tell my story. I was diagnosed with Anxiety, depression at 14. I didn't go on meds till about age 19. I first took Paxil for about 6 months when I was severely depressed then stopped because of the side effects. At that time I wasn't taking it regularly or every day so I didn't have or notice any withdrawal symptoms. I started taking wellbutrin around age 24 for about a year or so from what I remember. I stopped that as well because of the side effects. No withdrawal symptoms from what I remember. Then I read about 5htp(5-Hydroxytryptophan) on the internet. Which was what I thought a "natural" anti depressant. I read that 5htp is a replacement for tryptophan which was no longer sold in Canada or US. I took this for about 4 years and took 100mg a few times a week with food. I remember reading somewhere that this should only be taken short term and not long term. But of course I didn't listen. I recently stopped taking 5htp about 2 months ago. Since then I've had some sleeping problems, headaches and pain in my stomach. But nothing too major. However the main reason I am here is because of PSSD(Post-SSRI sexual dysfunction) if that term even applies with 5htp. I first noticed problems last summer when I met a girl. I had problems with getting an erection hard enough for intercourse. I never thought much of it at the time because I didn't really like her too much. However I met someone I did like about 4 months ago and had the same problem with my erections. I also had problems getting an erection when I masturbated which started about 4 months ago, and was getting delayed ejaculation, premature ejaculation and loss of feeling which was a real alarm for me. I wasn't too much into porn when I did masturbate before and just used my thoughts(hot women etc) when I did masturbate. But once I started having problems with my erections I started watching porn thinking that it would help. But it didn't really help that much or if anything made it worse. So I went to the doctor got blood work done, urinalysis and check for low testosterone and he said everything was fine, it's just Psychological. Since I stopped taking 5htp 2 months ago and all supplements my erections have improved somewhat and get the "morning wood" on and off but it's still a big challenge. My question to everyone on here is do you think 5htp can be the cause of my sexual dysfunctions? I've read posts from other members that have had pssd but again that was from taking prescribed anti-depressents and not 5htp? Sorry for the long read and I hope this was the right place to post this. I don't know what else to do. Thank you all for reading.
  4. Hi all, New here. Was on Sertraline for 2.5 years until this Christmastime. Initially 25 then 50mg, attempted to go up to 100mg under the direction of my doctor. Suffered significant diarrhea due to this change, and so went back down to 50mg. And that is when the real issues started. Though I was not aware of what was happening. I was prescribed it during the midst of the breakup of my marriage, which started to break down due to the fact that my ex suffered significant pain on intercourse, which had meant our sex life had pretty much always been one of disappointment and difficulty. Towards the end of last year, I started to realise something wasn't right. I was in a fog, I have moved several times in the last few years as I got my life back on track. I moved to the Bay area in June. I am in the process of trying to start a new relationship, which started just before Christmas last year. I had the sudden realisation that I was having significant sexual side effects. To my horror, once I realised this, I also 'came to' and realised that this had been going on for maybe 6-8 months previously, and progressively getting worse, but I simply hadn't noticed because I had been in a complete fog. I was skipping doses... just unaware of my surroundings. I was having brain zaps, dizziness, confusion, night sweats, significantly decreased cognitive ability, memory loss, depersonalised. I remember people commenting that I seemed distant. I remember my doctor up in Fort Bragg California asking me last June if the sexual side effects were problematic and I cheerily said 'no'. When in fact they were - but I simply wasn't aware. How can that be?! Cue seeing my general practitioner, who is managing my medication here in the Bay area, plus quickly making an appointment with a psychiatrist. Psychiatrist - who was the only one I could get an appointment with at short notice - told me I didn't have depression, and could stop taking the zoloft immediately. I told him I wasn't comfortable with that, and would like to taper, and was met with a response that I was the kind of person who got anxious about taking pills, and promptly asked me what I would feel comfortable with. Clearly he didn't believe in the need to taper at all. We ended up doing a taper over 2 weeks. To 25mg and then cold turkey. I then went back to my GP as I did not trust the opinion of a psychiatrist who went against everything I had read. I am working to get in with another psychiatrist, but no appointments until April. My GP has prescribed Wellbutrin, I am 2 weeks into that but honestly want nothing more to do with antidepressants. It is also making me break out into a rash and increasing anxiety. At present I am about 3 weeks in to withdrawal. I get spells of intense anxiety, partially I think due to the wellbutrin, partially due to WD. I did have anxiety before being prescribed an SSRI. My brain gets tired easily. On the positive side, I have started dreaming again - just little bits and pieces. Mostly odd/weird dreams, but dreams nonetheless. Sometimes I wake in a sweat and a panic. But if I can find a way to go back to sleep then often I wake up calmer and more in my body. The sexual side effects worsened initially, but have probably plateaued about where they were before I stopped sertraline. However, I am now aware of just how much difference there is between how I am now, and how I once was. Suddenly my memories of what it was like to have a solid erection have come back. Memories of past sexual encounters where I didn't feel ashamed and broken. And so my desire to be sexual is something I have to fight for. My new partner has been very understanding, but I have to get myself out of a mindset of shame in order to want to be sexual in any way. Sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. I have started to be aware of birdsong, smells that I had forgotten about - woodsmoke, flowers. And I am generally more aware of myself and my environment. Like waking up from a long sleep and wondering where on earth I have been. Some sensation has returned to my genitals. But not much. Sometimes I notice what I feel is desire and attraction. But it feels weak. And erections are weak and unreliable. I have a meditation practice. I have started running and taking longish walks. I am taking fish oil with my food, and working hard to stay positive. I have a network of friends who are amazing and show up for me. At this point I am hopeful as things are early on in the WD process and I am coping. However, I am petrified that I will never get to fully enjoy sex again. It feels cruel, given that my past history was one of being a very sexual person, in a relationship with someone who couldn't give me a fun sex life, despite their best attempts. I am angry that I am in this situation. No one mentioned long-term sexual side effects or withdrawal when I was being counselled for this drug. It wasn't even mentioned as a possibility, although sexual side effects during treatment were. I will not be beaten. One way or the other I will become okay with myself again, whatever that looks like. I would very much like it to look like a regular healthy sex life and relationship again. Who knows. Maybe it will be with an asexual partner or as a Buddhist monk. But I have hope and am working to keep in a positive mindset overall. Not going into these negative thoughts, but just keeping moving at all cost. This is my journey thus far. I'm grateful to be here with you all...
  5. Hi, I wanted to introduce myself and also see if anyone has any input! I took a low dose of Paroxetine (20mg/day) for 3 months and quit the SSRI cold turkey 15 months ago. It left me sexually, emotionally and sensation wise numb. Much less libodo, less sensitive, less erection, more watery semen etc in comparsion to before SSRI. Also I am much less emotionally numb, cannot feel those deep sensations of joy, less sensation on skin, some hairloss (natural?, I´m 30) etc. Today I got my 23andMe results back and I would really appreciate if anyone could comment or suggest me to supplement with anything. I am thinking it would be something with my genetics that made me respond so bad to SSRI and not recover. I am eating paleo-ish with a lot of greens, supplementing with Mg and vit D. And doing therapy! Methylation Profile (geneticgenie) COMT V158M rs4680 GG -/- COMT H62H rs4633 CC -/- COMT P199P rs769224 GG -/- VDR Bsm rs1544410 CT +/- VDR Taq rs731236 AG +/- MAO A R297R rs6323 T +/+ ACAT1-02 rs3741049 GG -/- MTHFR C677T rs1801133 GG -/- MTHFR 03 P39P rs2066470 GG -/- MTHFR A1298C rs1801131 GT +/- MTR A2756G rs1805087 AG +/- MTRR A66G rs1801394 GG +/+ MTRR K350A rs162036 AA -/- MTRR A664A rs1802059 GG -/- BHMT-02 rs567754 CC -/- BHMT-08 rs651852 CT +/- AHCY-01 rs819147 TT -/- AHCY-19 rs819171 TT -/- CBS C699T rs234706 GG -/- CBS A360A rs1801181 AG +/- Heterozygous VDR Bsm VDR Taq MTHFR A1298C MTR A2756G BHMT-08 CBS A360A Homozygous MAO A R297R MTRR A66G
  6. TL;DR: Took Cymbalta in my teens for a little less than a year. After stopping, gradually an extremely low sex drive and ability to be aroused, as well as an overall feeling of apathy started to develop and I have been trying to adjust since then. Considering supplementation with inositol as my next move to turn things around. Am I on the right track? Thanks for any help. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hey everyone, looking for some input on my situation. Glad I found this forum while I was looking for some answers. I'll give a brief history here: In 2006, I had some suicidal thoughts and a highly variable mood. At the time I was in junior high. After talking to my parents, they became concerned, and took me to a (apparently the worst psychologist based on following events) psychiatrist. She started me out on Cymbalta at 60mg/day. At the time, my parents and especially I did not know anything about dosing ADs, but from where I stand now, it is extremely odd that she started me out on the highest possible dose that she could. Anyway, I was on Cymbalta for a little less than a year. In February of 2007, I decided that I didn't want to be on Cymbalta anymore (I don't remember why) and I quit cold-turkey. Apparently, my psychiatrist had no problem with this, and I followed through. No more drugs. At the time, I didn't really notice much, but things were probably happening gradually. The first thing I noticed was that my genuine interest in sex had pretty much disappeared. As a boy in his youth, I would say that was pretty abnormal. At the beginning of puberty, I was very interested in the thought of sex. However, all sex drive, any form of erections, any strong interest in the opposite gender severely declined and sometimes was completely absent a few months after stopping my medication, from what I remember. Nothing would arouse me sexually, and at age 18, when I started becoming sexually active, it was an intense struggle to have intimate exchanges with anyone. Now, at age 24, I am seeing some consistencies that have remained since stopping my medication. I continue to have issues becoming sexually aroused and getting an erection is usually very difficult without supplements that promote them. At first I thought it was from watching too much porn, but that hasn't been able to genuinely arouse me for years either, and after abstaining for well over a year and not seeing much of a change, I am starting to very strongly doubt that is my problem. My fiancée has also noticed that I don't really get excited about anything, and that my responses are very muted. I've noticed this too, but it's been so long, I thought that it was just part of my personality. However, I don't think it's normal that I don't usually feel affected or sympathetic about anything. I feel very disconnected from everything, and most things that I do are motivated by a feeling of obligation, like I SHOULD do things because they're good for me or because it will help someone else. I don't really get a ton of satisfaction out of much, which was something I've been chalking up to just a mildly-low self-esteem. However, I'm sick of feeling flat like this all the time. I am seeing the doctor in 10 days, to see if he will run tests and say anything different than any of the other doctors have in the past. I have had numerous blood panels and hormone tests over the past 5 years, as well as dabbling with other ADs for short periods with nothing working. Most recently, my testosterone has been slightly low (around 550) and prolactin levels have been a little high (~20.2), but everything else is pretty normal. I've been reading around about nootropics recently and the one thing I see keep getting mentioned is the use of inositol to re-sensitize every thing. In anyone's opinion, am I on the right track, or am I taking this approach in vain? I'm just looking to find the root of my problem so I can fully enjoy my life.
  7. Hi everyone, first post on here so will try not to jabber too much. I'm a 40 year old guy and have been on ADs twice in my life. I first took SSRIs when I was prescribed 20mg Fluoxetine for work-related depression around 15 years back. For about a year they seemed to work (in some way I relied on them after I got through the depressive phase) but gradually I felt more and more 'robotic', agitated and detached. And my sex drive went down the pan...lost all interest. In fact, lost all interest in everything. All felt grey. So, after two years on them, stupid me went cold turkey, expecting to return to normality fairly quickly. But it was not so. The disinterest got much worse. I stayed with the CT and it took a good 2yrs for 'me' to come back...though the libido never really did but in 2010 seemed to be showing signs of life again... ...UNTIL I had an allergic reaction to an antibiotic and was put on 10mg Citalopram back in October 2011. I was told I'd need to stay on the meds as I'd been on them before. I wasn't depressed at the time but blindly went along with the doc as the allergic reaction had shaken me up pretty bad. Initially, I felt mildly euphoric and life felt easy, I felt coolly un-anxious. But I couldn't ejaculate during sex, no matter what. And it got worse, to the point where I felt totally sexless, my desire just vanished in the worst way possible. And I started having crazy moodswings. So the doc switched me to Fluoxetine 20mg, after about a year on the Cit. No change. Dead libido, moodswings got even worse, pacing and inexplicable bursts of anger...so guess what? Cold turkeyed them again. Late 2013, about 4 weeks of big WDs, constant brain zaps and 'delayed vision', followed by huge bouts of anhedonia/apathy that still persist. And THE worst PSSD. No arousal, thrill, just this deadness in the pleasure centres of the brain. I can still love and see attractiveness but that 'engine' is...gone? It's horrendous, feel like half a man, like I'm out in the cold looking in all the time. Had tests, all showed fine but in a really good relationship right now that I fear is gonna suffer down the line. It'd kill me because we're so close and loving but I'm...inconsequential. 8 months and we just don't do it. Don't wanna lose her, we're truly soulmates. Want that connection back. That 'spark' in the brain...not there. For anyone or anything. Hurts so bad. I...just feel unsexual and I can't get my head around it. Nightmare. Am I totally messed up now, any hope, anything I can do? Tried ED drugs, various herbs, "He's dead, Jim". What a pickle.
  8. Hi guys, I'm a 24 year old french guy suffering from what I believe to be PSSD. Here's my story: Late 2012 - I was diagnosed with depression and went on citalopram for 1 month, followed by Cymbalta for 1 month. The meds slightly numbed my penis, even after discontinuation. 2013 - I went on different meds that made no impact on my depression nor sex drive, as they don't target serotonin (Abilify, Valdoxan, Solian, Wellbutrin, Lamictal). Only spent a handful of weeks on any given one of these. My penis was still slightly numbed by mid-2013, from the initial S(N)RIs. I then took an old MAOI antidepressant called Marsilid(Iproniazid) for around 4 months. The numbness in my penis got noticeably worse. I still had a libido but orgasms were very weak, it was harder to maintain an erection. I decided to quit psychiatric meds in december 2013. April 2014 - the penile numbness was still there and orgasms were still weak, no sign of improvement. ENTER THE THYROID MEDS. I took some thyroid meds (Armour thyroid) without a doctor's consent to see if it would help with my depression, although I had no thyroid problem. Looking back it was stupid, but I was depressed and desperate, plus I had read somewhere that T3 hormones were sometimes given as treatment for depression.That's when my libido took a massive dive, along with my ability to achieve erections, feel pleasure in life, and focus on mental tasks. I only stayed 6 weeks on the thyroid pills. Since discontinuation of everything around 18 months ago, the PSSD hasn't gotten better. I had to drop out of a prestigious university program because of my lack of an ability to focus on mentally-demanding tasks 9 months ago. I used to be an intelligent student with a great memory, but now I feel dumbed down. Paying attention to what people say during a conversation has become a little challenge in itself. Dropping out was devastating for my self-esteem. Concerning the sexual SEs, I am unable to be turned on by naked women like I used to be. I require heavy physical stimulation to even start feeling a little tingle of pleasure. Orgasms are pleasureless, and I've lost all ejaculatory strength. The semen just seems to slowly come out and dribble nowadays, whereas it used to to be propelled with great strength before. The numbness is crazy - I have a harder time even just feeling my own urine flowing inside my penis when I take a leak. Concerning erections, I am unable to keep them up during sex. As for pleasure in life in general, it's like it has been turned down. Watching movies used to make me thrilled, but now I no longer feel any sense of amazement during cool action sequences. Music doesn't move me like it used to. The touch of a woman no longer excites me, as if my skin had become less sensitive. I saw some PSSD posters on some website mentioning their skin felt like "rubber" and I think I get the feeling. I did some blood tests to see if my hormones (thyroid, testosterone, DHEA, and other stuff) were out of balance, but the results came back just fine. My theory is that the serotonergic side of the thyroid meds, on top of the previous SSRIs and MAOI screwed something in my brain, and I will need time to recover. I've seen a couple hormone specialists that have told me that thyroid meds don't bring these nasty effects on their own, and whatever effect they bring should disappear upon treatment discontinuation. I saw the Admin Altostrata mentioning time and time again that experimenting with meds to cure PSSD was dangerous and could potentially make matters worse, so I'll stick to taking nothing. Plus, the fact that thyroid meds made me a lot worse can serve as an example to illustrate the argument. Anyways, the past is the past. I hope I will get better, and will post every once in a while to update my progress (or lack thereof).
  9. I'm a 28 year old man from Greece. I am suffering from ssri side effects 8 years now. I think that Imight suffering from withdrawal symptom (or Pssd). I don't know also if there is a difference. I was diagnosed with OCD in 2009 and I was on Prozac from 2009 to 2014 daily on 60mg. On this time interval I have noticed that I had weak erections without paying real attention. But when I I had awful experiences with women where I didn't have enough erections then I realized that the prozac may be the cause. I haven't taken it since 2014. Occassionally I was on zoloft to 20mg (the indicated dose for ocd) but I stopped them gradually. Since April 2017 I am not taking any medication but I have to confess that I have to tackle severe side effects such as erectile dysfunction, muted or inability to orgasm I noticed also impaired seven quality and sometimes the quantity was insufficient (almost zero). I am in a bad situation and I feel regretful for taking these drugs. I preferred to have OCD (or whatever mental illness is this) rather than facing impotence and inability to have children. Has anyone an idea about what am I supposed to do?
  10. I am new to this board. I'm 24 years old now. I took Zoloft for 5 years or so - it seemed to help my depression - then eventually quit after some off and on stuff. I was given no warning whatsoever about withdrawal side effects (or any negative side effects) when the doctor prescribed it or else I would've never taken it. Starting around six months after I quit, I woke up one day in early December of 2015 with no libido (after a very healthy libido for all of my years) and very little feeling down there. It happened almost overnight. This bothered me tremendously and I went through a series of tests and online researching to see what the problem was, but only until about six months ago and no help from the tests did I begin to realize that this was probably related to zoloft/pssd, which I had initially dismissed because it started so long after I had quit. It occurred to me because I realized how unfeeling I have become emotionally. I accidentally and unintentionally offended a good friend of mine, who despite my efforts at reconciliation renounced our friendship and has never spoken to me since. I noticed when this happened that I didn't seem to care much despite the fact that he'd been my good friend for a few years now, which astonished me. I thought I cared, but I didn't feel sad. I felt almost nothing. I knew something was wrong. When I realized this, I began to notice it in other areas too, like I wasn't happy when I should've been and had no depth of feeling. Since I had lost my libido, I have become almost entirely food-oriented as that is the only thing that gives me any real pleasure in life, something which I just finally consciously realized about six months ago. Things that used to give me joy now give me very little joy. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel nothing, except a burning desire to feel something/anything. I feel like I'm completely numb, sexually and emotionally. It's extremely difficult for someone who is supposed to be finishing up his last semester in college (and an utterly unfair handicap on my efforts), and these last few weeks I've really started to despair. Up until this point I've always striven to look at the positive and to be optimistic, but I have woken up day after day for the last 15 months longing for an emotional or even sensual experience and it hasn't come. From what I've read it seems like the FDA and big pharma have left me/us for dead - damn them both - with little research going into treatment to help people like us. What is the doctor going to tell me? I can't continue to live this way. What this is, what I am, this is not living. It's been 15 months since these withdrawal symptoms started and I've seen no improvement, sexually or emotionally. This is supposed to be my prime, but instead I'm just a numb zombie. Sure, I think it's unfair that my sexuality was stolen away from me one morning and that's extremely frustrating but really I just want my emotions and my depth of feeling back. I simply and absolutely refuse to live the next 60 years of my life like some livestock animal who's only purpose and pleasure in life is eating. When I realized that zoloft was the problem, I vowed to never to touch the stuff again in hopes that I'd recover. But that's not happening, at least not 15 months in. So that leaves me wondering... despite it all, would it be worth it to just take the damn drug again? Of course I hate the idea of being dependent on it for the rest of my life, but has anyone ever got back into it? Did your libido and emotions come back? If my options are 1. continue living like this for the rest of my life (which really isn't living at all and wouldn't seem to be worth it) or 2. be dependent on zoloft to feel anything at all, I'll take the lesser of two evils which is the latter. I'm sure some of you may suggest waiting longer to see if anything improves, which may be worth trying. But I don't know how much longer I can do this. It feels like I'm not very far off from trying anything, including zoloft again. Anything is better than this. Also, I apologize for any perceived negativity in this post. I am not someone who likes to bring other people down to my level - that's why I haven't told several friends and family members about this nightmare of a life I am living (or not living, since I don't feel alive). Sincerely, up until the last few weeks I had somehow maintained my optimism. It's definitely waning now though.
  11. Hi everyone! I'm new here, I'm an 18 year old girl, will be 19 soon, and I took Zoloft from when I was about 16 and a half to when I was just about 17, so a year and 4 months. I've been clean of the poison since August 28th, 2016, so ten and a half months now. Since I don't think the drugs were good for me to be on to begin with because they caused a whole host of strange behaviors and feelings, like sedation and mania at times, as well as periods of complete apathy and feeling sick, not to mention the sexual problems, I decided to get off of them. Here's how things went: Felt better when initially coming off Zoloft. Much better. Perhaps more negative, but more energy, felt more normal, looked better, etc. Less headaches and other side effects. Happier...almost manic sorta. Sex drive increase and no problems with prolactin overloads. Continued like this (with adaptogenic herb, B6, inositol, and other supplementation) until December 2016. Sometimes wanted to "crawl out of my skin" also and getting more frustrated when my best friend wouldn't call me, less worried about what he thought. December 2016, my life crashed. My best friend and I had a falling out and he was distant for a while. Worst depression I have EVER felt for 2 weeks straight. I was stuck in my body, it was the worst feeling I have ever EVER had, profound depression, profound pain, I could not deal with it..so incredibly horrible. Definitely would not have been nearly as bad if I weren't only 4 months off Zoloft. Probably wouldn't have been bad at all if I were still on Zoloft..scary. Extreme disconnection from the body. This scared me because the issue was generally pretty mild--a friend being distant. The fact that it caused such a terrible horrible depression made me realize how hard this journey was going to be for me...my ability to handle stress and emotions have been greatly diminished. January--February were blahhh. He texted me again, didn't switch schools, we were friends. I also started taking tryptophan for serotonin deficiencies and the pain went away but the horror of what had happened still lingered and left me exhausted and terrified of another episode. I felt extremely out of control of myself and my life. Never would have felt this way on zoloft. March was terrible. He ignored me again, again intense anxiety, worse than I could possibly describe. Literally horror. Started taking ashwaghanda which, along with him reconnecting with me, made April and May more bearable. Sometimes felt GOOD in those two months..other times not, but it was really not horrible. A couple periods of intense pain, usually from relationship stress, but I recovered when things went back to normal. June..was fine. I'm living. In college now. Was pretty intent on committing suicide a couple of days ago..thoroughly convinced myself that I would do it and that I need to do it. Didn't do it. Probably won't this week. Can't take the unbearable social pain any longer though..it's putting a hole in my heart. I refuse to go back on those meds. Ever. They're awful and they still are affecting my sex drive..PSSD is there. Realizing that I'm at the end of adolescence and never had a true, hormonal, exciting sexual experience and the ability to experience that kind of thing will go away when teenage hormones go away. I may never be normal again. I'm incredibly upset and worried and cursing myself for taking those pills. Also feel really alone because nobody understands and I can't talk to anyone about it. If I weren't in a fine mood, I'd be ready to pull the friggin plug. All of my sexual experiences are awkward and bad, make guys feel like rapists, never result in orgasm, always lose excitement once any touching of the genitals is involved, and end up very VERY bad. Masturbation is 100X better but it still takes longer and isn't as easy to cum.. I feel hopeless and screwed, scared and worried. The same mechanism affects your ability to fall in love..I need hope. When will these things get better? Note: One thing I can say is the intense feeling of being disconnected from my body or wanting to crawl out of my skin has gotten better, which makes me realize that my brain is normalizing itself. I'm just worried that things will never be the same again, because of receptor problems or permanent brain damage, especially in the sexual department... Help?
  12. SadDoll

    SadDoll

    Hiya, I'm Laur I dont know where to start. I'm new, kinda. I've been a lurker on this site on and off since 2015 but I've never joined until now. I'm a 24 year old woman from Ireland who was put on antidepressants when I was 18/19 for OCD, depression and suicidal tendancies. I was first given 20mg of lustral in late 2011 and it didnt affect my sex drive or emotions in any way. I didnt take them everyday though, I forgot a lot of the time. Then in late 2013 I was switched to 150mg of lustral. I dont think I took them every day either until I made an effort to take them regularly only to quit them one day out of the blue cold turkey sometime in early 2014. Stupid, I know. At the time I was constantly either stoned and/or drunk so I wasn't very responsible, to say the least. On top of this, I was binge drinking a lot, a few nights a week, and smoking weed nearly everyday from late 2012- 2016 as well as being constantly dependant on a dangerous recreational drug for about a year in 2013. Oh and I wasnt eating properly, so my nutrition was bad on top of this. Anyway, I haven't touched an antidepressant since Spring of 2014 but I have absolutely no libido to speak of, as well as no pleasure 'down there'. Sex for me feels like nothing at all every single time. No arousal. No sensation. I think maybe once or twice I had some slight sexual feeling with an ex boyfriend sometime last year. But it wasn't anywhere near my sexual function pre PSSD. On top of this, I worry so much that I wont be able to fall in love, that I'm incapable of romantic feeling. This bothers me the most because that has been my fear for about 5 years now. And I read online that antidepressants destroy your romantic feelings forever. I dont know how true that is, but it makes me want to die. Ironically, that is what my OCD focused on. The fear of never falling in love. So the doctors presribed me a higher dose of a new pill. I feel like I'm trapped in my own worst nightmare and I feel anhedonic and dead inside. I'm reluctant to post here as I dont want to make anyone feel hopeless from my story. And I'm afraid of other people's stories making me feel even more hopeless. I'm down in the depths of hell here. I feel empty and broken and incapable of love and feeling anything positive at all. Please, can someone offer me some hope? I feel like the fact that I was on a very high dosage (150mg), constantly high for the best part of 4 years, dependant on alcohol, plus a history of past substance abuse, PLUS the fact that I quit cold turkey means that I dont have any hope of recovering. I cant recall what it feels like to feel aroused and I cant imagine ever getting better. Please no negative comments as I'm very suicidal as it is
  13. Hey there. This is my first post, but I have a success story that I’d like to share. I’d like to preface by saying I had been on 75mg of sertraline (Zoloft) for approximately 7 months. I quit last year and have successfully made it through the withdrawals! I see more horror stories than success stories on SSRI discontinuation. My hypothesis for this discrepancy is that people who successfully quit the drug don’t really have that much of an incentive to post their stories, while people dealing with the terrible side effects are more likely to seek out information. I knew there were millions of people on SSRIs, and I refused to believe that my discontinuation symptoms would be permanent. Of course, there are always exceptions, but I found out quickly how unhealthy it was to hold this mentality of permanence. I tapered off a too quickly (~2 weeks). I believed that since I had only been on the medication for a few months, I could get away with tapering off at that rate. Consequently, I ended up having over 6 weeks of hellish withdrawals. The first 2 weeks had the most powerful physical symptoms: brain zaps, fatigue, nausea, etc. These symptoms seemed to go away around week 3, but then came another wave of symptoms: anxiety, paranoia, depression, and a lot of overthinking. I didn’t realize it till week 5, but these feelings were more powerful than when I had them before starting sertraline. Week 5 was the worst; all these terrible feelings went into overdrive. I remember a few specific days of this week were particularly dreadful. I had been reading up on SSRI discontinuation online and freaking myself out reading people’s horror stories. I was afraid that I permanently removed what it was to be human. I was terrified I’d never feel joy, sexual desire, or ambition in my life ever again. I was angry at myself that my choice to try anti-depressants fucked up the rest of my life. I was broken, and I just wanted to be normal again. These are unhealthy thoughts, and I was wrong. My life did start coming back. I slowly felt what it was like to be “me” again. Small steps every day reminded me. One day something would make me laugh. Another day I’d notice a cute girl. I appreciated and cherished every step throughout the way. And slowly but surely, old joys started coming back to me: I started feeling ambition, I was looking forward to future plans, I was dreaming again (I could sleep well again!), and I was feeling love again, both for myself and others. I believe there is a strong psychosomatic component during these withdrawals. It’s difficult because your brain doesn’t allow you get past these negative thoughts while its readjusting, but you have to keep moving. There isn’t a quick solution, but your brain is powerful and adjusts to your current circumstances. That’s why exercise, a healthy diet, a support network, and a positive outlook are so important; you want your brain to re-adjust in an ideal setting. So, don’t blame yourself or hold a grudge for trying SSRIs; you actively did something to confront your inner demons. From one stranger to another, you will survive this. Good luck.
  14. Hi all, After only using Citalopram for a week I ended up with the inability to get an erection. I went into sertraline for a week after coming of Citalopram and symptoms continued. i decided to come off SSRI’s after this as I wanted my sex life back. Unfortunately I am still suffering side effects today and I took these meds 3 years ago! I did see see some improvement early on, but as times gone on this has only got worse, to the point not even Cialis works for me! Im only 25 years old, was given the meds at 22. I don’t want to live my life like this! From researching I’ve only come across SSRI use and porn use as the only two possible reasons behind my impotence! Seeing other stories across the web I’ve seen several like my case who only took SSRI’s for a very short period and endured very long term effects! Many feedback on this would be very much appreciated!
  15. You can check out the Story of me completing the 2018 Brighton Marathon on Sunday in support of the Rxisk Prize campaign on antidepressant permanent injuries that include sexual dysfunction. Here is a blog post on my support campaign called Run Against Castration: https://runagainstcastration.com/2018/04/20/how-i-completed-the-2018-brighton-marathon-supporting-the-rxisk-prize/ And here is a vlog update https://youtu.be/uAZ_sS9RudY Please share and support widely to get our message out
  16. ME: 37 y.o. female STORY: In escitalopram 1 year and two months: low dosis (10 mg per day) from Jun 2013 to May 2013, then I low to 10 gr every two days. eventually quit on September 2013 WHY STARTING WITH IT? I had the drug because I experienced a great general anxiety. It really cure my problem. Other drugs you are having or gone back to this one : NO SIDE EFFECTS: - Not arousal, not libido: the sensation of "I could live without sex" - I can get orgasms but they are much weaker. - I have noticed that my breast don´t get swollen before menstruation - Lack of vaginal discharge - Barely absence of vaginal odour Any improvements since then: NO Natural suplements or herbs you are having?: 1500 mg oil fish omega 3 daily since 28/1/2014 "if you come up with any good ideas, please let us know"
  17. Hi everybody! Will try to sum up shortly the nature of my problem: - Jun'17. Big family tragedy. Got nervous, could barely sleep at night (3-4 hours daily max.), lost appetite. Used simple herbs-based anti-axiety pills to calm myself. No big impact. - Jul'17. Nervousness continues, sleepless nights, poor appetite. Added other more potent natural pills (as I live in Germany - Neurexam). Took Stillnox (aka Zolpidem) as sleeping aid. To no avail. To calm down took 1 single pill of Laif 900 (Saint John's Wort, SJW). My anxiety paradoxically increased even further. maybe because I drank juices (which is not advisable with SJW). As my nervousness continued went to doctor, who prescribed escitalopram 10 mg per day (in the morning). To be on the safe side, took half of the pill (i.e. 5 mg), immediately felt unwell (sweating, heart palpitations, giddiness). Took char coal to wash the pill out. As I did not know what an antidepressant is (thought it to be a sort of anti-anxiety / sleeping pill), took 2.5 mg before sleep for the next 2-3 days. My agitation got worse. In retrospect I think that I provoked a mild serotonin syndrome, given that I took escitalopram soon after taking SJW. My body was shaking, trembling, I was not able to control my hands. Neede even to call sick from work. Got strange suicidal thought which I had never had in my life. Did not know this state was provoked by pills. I somehow foolishly decided that because of my insomnia and malnutrition, my brain started to die off. Dropped escitalopram. Got electric splashes in my head. Panicked. Did not know it was a side effect of escitalopram withdrawal. Was afraid that my brain was harmed beyond repair and decided to commit suicide by jumping from the balcony. My relative held me tight, but I somehow managed to drop him on the floor and get loose. Panicked that I harmed my relative. I called ambulance but they came not alone but with ... police (apparently neighbors called them as I shouted a lot). Was not able to understan what was going on, tried to jump off the balcony in the presence of doctors / cops. Was hospitalized in the ward involuntarily. - Aug'17. Spent 14 days in the ward on 4 mg risperidone (aka risperdal) daily in pill form + tranquilizer (lorazepam). After this "treatment" did not feel well. No thoughts, no emotions, personality erased. Dropped risperidone cold turkey. Was not able to sleep for a week. Went to private psychiatrist. He reinstated risperidone at 1 mg ( I went from 1 mg daily to 0 within 1 month) + gave lerivone (mianserin) 15 mg as antidepressant for sleep. Have been on various doses of mianserin (from 15 mg up to 45 mg and then progressively down to 0) from September to December (i.e. 3 months). Dropped the last 5 mg cold turkey. Since Dec'17 - drug free. Though my initially poor thinking / no thoughts etc has dramatically improved (thanks God), I still suffer from a symptom which first appeared somewhere in mid November: genital numbness, loss of sexual interest, decrease in libido. I found out it is PSSD. My questions are as follows, to which I would kindly ask to help me: 1. Why is this impotence? What is the more likely culprit: risperidone or mianserin. I ask as I have read that SSRI / SNRI are the most likely culprits of PSSD, whereas mianserin is actually used to treat it (with varying success though). 2. How can it be cured? 3. Has anyone experienced reduced eyesight (increased myopia) on antipsychotics / antidepressants and will the issue resolve itself? Thank you very much in advance for your kind help !!!!
  18. Hi Ive suffered from depression in the past and have been on various antidepressants, been admitted to hospital and had ECT...this was all in the early 90s. In the intervening years I have suffered depression on and off and was happy to take Fluoxetine 20mg, I'm not sure if the Fluoxetine kept the depression at bay or I would have been OK without it, but as I was feeling well I kept taking the Fluoxetine as a prophylactic. During this period I went cold turkey several times for various reasons...I suffered absolutely no withdrawal symptoms at any time...I consider myself very lucky. Ive only just discovered the danger of CT via this website and others. So far so good, but in 2015 I was diagnosed with cancer and endured gruelling chemo and radiotherapy and was given the all clear in April 2016...one line of text...so much pain! After the treatment finished I began to suffer from depression again, a kind of post trauma effect, my doctor recommenced increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg, which I agreed to. This didnt really make much difference...my doctor then suggested switching to Sertraline 50mg, I agreed and started a very steep tapering to come off the Fluoxetine (one month)...I did actually feel quite well at the end of the taper and did not start taking the Sertraline. However some months later in December 2016 the anxiety and depression became so severe I OKed it with my doctor to start the Sertraline. I took the first tablet and in a very short time I experienced some terrible side effects, dizziness, headache, confusion and a level of anxiety I did not believe was possible, I went to bed for the rest of the day. I knew it would take a while of the side effects to settle, so took the second tablet the next day, again the same effects plus the start of the sexual side effects. I took one more tablet the next day and decided enough was enough and stopped taking the Sertraline…(Just 3 doses!) I assumed the side effects would subside soon after stopping…how wrong I was! Its been 7 months and the effects below are still with me: Tinnitus Cognitive and memory problems Insomnia...1.5 sleep per night PSSD, no libido, poor and difficult to achieve erections, reduced semen volume and a kind of emotional disconnect with the opposite sex. One effect which did remit was the sensation of looking down on myself from above...a very disturbing experience. So here I am in a bit of a mess. I wonder what the best way forward is? I seem to be very sensitive to any drugs or supplements...Ginkgo Biloba and Maca root caused havoc after one dose! Ive tried Acupuncture and Homoeopathy with some limited success...at least nothing negative! Im finding this very difficult emotionally, especially the sexual side of things. Ive been following similar cases here (and the PSSD forum) and there seems to be quite a bit of despair often with the OP just vanishing...I find this worrying. Trying to keep positive Regards
  19. Hello everybody, First I would like to say that I am new here and hope to be able to contribute well in this forum. I apologize for any grammatical mistakes, I myself come from Germany and translate most via google. Now my story: (please read it, I'll try to be brief) I've been dealing with genital numbness long before I've ever taken a psychotropic drug. I have had pronounced depression and anxiety since around 2012. My first antidepressant was fluoxetine, which I gave myself in the summer of 2015. I loved it at first: it did not make me feel negative things so strong but I was not a "zombie". It also seemed to improve my genital numbness, all worked fine. In conjunction with alcohol, it gave me a wonderful, light feeling that I will never forget. In the spring of 2016, I switched to fluvoxamine, as fluoxetine barely helped me against anxiety, and the effect seemed to be abating in general. I call it about a year until the spring of 2017. Since this also only weakly helped against fears, and also hardly any effect, I put it off. A few days later, I got genital feeling numbness, but at the time I still had a girl and a strong libido. I first came across PSSD but thought maybe my depression just came back and PSSD is a scientific hyphenation. The numbness improved fortunately within 2-3 months, at the end of the year my libido and feeling was more intense than ever. All I had to do was look at a woman's back and was excited. My experience with drugs was rather positive until then. Now comes the misery: In a clinic (where my libido was so good) I had Trazodone prescribed. I had constant sleep disturbances and fears, depression was well under control. I took 100 mg for one week, I got restless legs syndrome and could hardly sleep. My libido was fast in the basement, as I've never known it in my life. I did not know sexual discomfort until then. I still could get an erection, but orgasm was not so intense and my sperm was waterier than usual. I thought (unfortunately) I let the drug adjust something to my system. From the second week on was dosed to 200 mg, I was finally able to sleep. But I became so dizzy and generally uncomfortable with Trazodone. I really felt like a zombie, almost remotely controlled. It felt like acid was eating through my spine, as soon as I took the pills on my tongue she became numb. I also got spontaneous erections, but when I tried to do it on purpose, it barely worked. So I set off Trazodone after 9 days (7 * 100mg, 2 * 200mg). My worst nightmare came true: I got genital numbness, my libido just did not return. I also noticed an emotional numbness. Now I know that PSSD really exists. I hate myself for getting myself into these pills again. All I wanted to do was sleep again and not have any constant anxiety attacks anymore. The withdraw is now soon 3 months ago. I still have almost no libido, and genital numbness. Also sometimes testicular pain. I feel cold and warmth, and pain, but hardly any normal touch. I tried St. John's Wort with Ginkgo and Maca, I had some emotional and libido windows but I stopped because my d*ck went more numb. Now I'm taking chlorella, curcumin, green tea and maca. Sometimes I feel something like arousal again, but it's hardly fun because it feels so numb. I sometimes have brain zaps too, is that a good sign? I want my life back I never thought that my life would be so changed by 11 stupid pills from ******* pahrma mafia. regards
  20. In brief: in 2017 took bupropion 150mg 5 days, 300mg 8 days and very abruptly experienced pain in testicles, loss of libido, 80% ED, genital and other skin numbness. Stopped due to this ct and ran into a terrible state including total anhedonia, deep amotivation, loss of appetite, loss of tiredness and panic-like anxiety for multiple weeks. 11 months later no real improvements beside less anxiety, using remeron 15mg and getting some sleep. All in all very wide and disastrous symptoms. So bad, had to leave job and basically have been in bed ever since. Nothing feels and motivates. Lately also quite severe anxiety attacks for hours. Scared and worried about ever recovering. Pssd alone is a tragedy, but having lost all emotions and motivation and will to live is even more devastating. Really sad about the small number of found recovery stories in contrast to number of sufferers. Bupropion is no safer than 'ssri' s. Forget about the categories, they are all poisons. I deeply regret ever taking one, which I did after weeks of thinking. Was so anxious that I fell for the 'marketed safe' one. It turned out to be a disaster and made the original state even worse (depression and anxiety into panic). I am really angry for these poisons and their prescribers being legal. Ready to join into any group/class suite etc. It is unbelievable how the pdocs cover themselves and each other all over the world using same phrases and not even 'believing' the victim. Many say they are clueless, I say they are collegially lying. To them it is nothing if 1 or even 5 in 100 get the devastating lasting symptoms. It is still low enough to claim that everything is due to depression etc. Glad to hear any encouraging recovery stories or talk PM with similar cases.
  21. Hi everyone, just wanted to share my story (and hopefully my eventual recovery). I am 20 years old, and was 19 when I started on 50mg of Sertraline I was prescribed it in Feb 2015 for social anxiety and took it for a month. Quit cold turkey because I felt pretty depersonalised, and cause of the sexual side effects. All of my symptoms came on during my time on the drug or shortly afterwards. They are: Dulling of emotion/Anhedonia - Have felt sadness a few times, and anger a few times. No joy, no passion, maybe some flashes of love but that's it. Unable to relate to characters in books/TV. Dimunition of visual imagination - I used to daydream constantly prior to taking the drug. Since cold turkeying the pictures in my mind are very blurred and I am no longer able to daydream. Loss of creativity - Before the drug I used to read a lot, and when I read I always felt like ideas were constantly popping into my brain. Since I stopped medication this no longer happens. I feel like I am reading the words on the page very superficially.. Physical numbness in brain - Feels like there's a great pressure in the frontal lobe of my head, almost like it is torn (but there is no pain) PSSD - No libido, anorgasmia, difficulty getting and maintaining erections (too much information but I want to be thorough here) No fatigue behind eyes - this one isn't necessarily negative, but since stopping the drug my eyes never get tired regardless of how much time I spend using screens or reading. Possible other symptoms that could be unrelated: Muscle twinges (very mild), worsening of eyesight (20/20 vision pre medication), urine delay (is considerably better now) Improvements - I saw very positive changes when it came to anorgasmia and erections around 6 months into my withdrawal. Unfortunately it seems like in the past 2 months things have gone back to square one. The physical pressure in my head varies a lot, and is definitely much better than it was at the start of my withdrawal (though it still gets very bad). I couldn't read for the first 6 months of this withdrawal because I got absolutely no enjoyment out of it and that was depressing because I used to love reading prior to the drug. Now I read a bit, and it feels nicer than doing nothing I guess, but seriously if that's an improvement in my anhedonia then it's 0% to 1%, because I still have zero positive emotion. General - I feel hopeless about recovery a lot of the time. I have suicidal thoughts but would never commit suicide because of the effect that would have on my mum. I browse through the forums looking for recovery stories, but it seems like most people who recover haven't had this constant anhedonia, and were in a more turbulent emotional withdrawal. If anyone who is in my position, or anyone who was in my position but recovered, could reply I'd be very grateful. Many thanks, Raven
  22. theloneranger86

    Pudendal Nerve Entrapment PNE

    Hey Alto and other members on the forum Has anyone in withdrawal ever tested for PNE (Pudendal Nerve Entrapment) / other pelvic dysfunctions ? Could this be a complication from the trauma ? Didn't see a single thread about this on the forum so thought of bringing this up ?
  23. Hi everyone. I wonder if anyone could tell me how long it took to get your emotions/sexuality back after stopping ssris. I’m currently 17 months off sertraline and I’ve seen windows of my emotions returning, but for the most part I’m constantly empty, flat and anhedonic. I’ve been suicidal because of both this and pssd, which go hand in hand. I can’t live like this. I took the drug for 16 months in case anyone is wondering. I’m hoping someone can give me some information about when their emotions started to come back. Or, if you are 10 years out and you still have anhedonia (just like I know quite a few people who are 15-20 years off SSRIs and have both PSSD and anhedonia), do tell, because that’s useful information too. I just really want to know what I’m dealing with here.
  24. Hi everyone! If you have taken an SSRI or an SNRI such as Zoloft, prozac, luvox, and you still experience sexual dysfunction after coming off the drug (in the form of genital numbness, reduced pleasure response, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, etc) please fill this form out to help us end PSSD for good! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc4NixcXLN_sRV-4jSIWeDAYvQ1V96F-8B0MR8GuDpbjbD3rg/viewform
  25. potions

    PSSD Lawsuit

    Hi everyone! If you have taken an SSRI or an SNRI such as Zoloft, prozac, luvox, and you still experience sexual dysfunction after coming off the drug (in the form of genital numbness, reduced pleasure response, inability to orgasm, erectile dysfunction, etc) please fill this form out to help us end PSSD for good! https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc4NixcXLN_sRV-4jSIWeDAYvQ1V96F-8B0MR8GuDpbjbD3rg/viewform
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