TheWayfarer: Zoloft Side Effect + Emotionless

[TheWayfarer]

Unfortunately , none of this is " natural " and it's unlikely to be a result of your " breakdown".  It might be a window. It sounds like it.

Just so you all know i experienced chronic stress and anxiety before taking this medication. No it never caused apathy or thees manic rants but it did give me a bad back, bad stomach, "buzzing brain", adrenaline attacks and short term memory. Some morning i actually lost memory and forgot who i was, this was partially do to the lack of sleep i experienced but mostly because of the Cronic stress... I have heard that apathy can be allot like constipation, the more built up emotions you have inside that you havnt expressed the more clogged your emotions are and the more pathetic you become. Last night when i expressed my emotions and threw a bloody tantrum i immediately went into a political rant on how someone who lied during a congressional hearing shouldn't be trusted. (that was not an intentional political innuendo). My chronic stress and anxiety i believe accounts for more than 40% of my emotional and cognitive/intellectual symptoms are bi-products of stress and anxiety/medical OCD. This Medical OCD latched onto my self diagnoses of "PSSD" witch kept me from recovering.

 

If i can release i believe all the stored up tension inside of me and find ways to keep my stress on the "down low" my brain may finally leave the FF mindset and give me back my emotions.

 

Some videos my parents found that have been very "enlightening" (BTW if you need a laugh this guy is great)

 

As JP said when your apathetic the only time you feel emotions are (in your dreams) i found that that also was the only time i have been feeling emotions, in the mornings back when this was worse, i would find myself sleeping in till noon because of this.

 

I can be healed i know it, weather i will make a complete sexual recovery i don't know it probably helps being 17. But what matters is that i can get through this. I believe when this is all done and over i will start a new post on emotional side effects of SSRI and how your brain makes it worse than it really is. Because it does, come to think of it i was allot liek this even before taking the medication. No i didnt have spasm's (witch can be a major stress side effect) and no i didnt have the feeling of battery acid, but almost everything else was pretty prevalent, the SSRI's impact just threw my brain off balance enough for me to lose it. 

 

I do not think i need to worry about "losing it" in public. What happened last night was normal if not healthy, no one should have to keep everything bottled up forever, the fear anger rage pain sorrow distrust, it is healthy to let it out. because if you don't it will only fester and may even come lose in an uncontrolled fashion witch is how people get court orders to take emotional stabilizers. 

 

I very much appreciate all your advice, Shep, cat, jan, and amy and many others. You have all been allot of help in my recovery and i cant be thankful enough that a forum like this exists. In the future when i make a full emotional/physiological recovery and get back into politics i will not forget the evils of pharmaceuticals and big bushiness and just how dangerous this can be for the American people especially the younger population. SSRI's should NOT EVER be considered the first line of defense let alone the second in physiological hardship. It ALWAYS should be the last line of defense the last resort.

 

I cant help but feel slight anger (even in my apathetic state) when i see prosac and zoloft commercials. they make it seem so "normal" to take medication. Someone has to stop this insanity before every young child in America is drugged.

Anyway i am sure that this wont be the end of my time on thees forums, i am not nearly fully recovered. But it is detrimental to my recovery that i spend less time in my head and more time in this world. I will give the occasional update but i wont be nearly as active as i used to be. And for all those who may in the future be reading this post. Know this. What you are experiencing isn't permanent it is temporary. It will leave; allot of what you are experiencing is probably instigated by all the stress and anxiaty that you has been building up in you since the start of this dilemma. Weather you know it or not weather you feel it or not it is there, believe it or not you have control. Like damaged structure on the verge of collapse you may not be able to save it but you can control when it falls, so let it fall, conduct a controlled collapse. Let it all out. And then you will have a clean slate for building up an even more stable structure and even more stable life. The worst thing you can do is isolate yourself, read books watch movies. The human brain is not stagnate it can be like a clay sculpture, sculpted by your experiences. As jan said "Fake it till you make it"

 

you are not your brain.

-WF

 

 

(Forgive me for my terrible spelling)

[TheWayfarer]

Hello all,

 

Yeah im back already... I know many of you know allot more than i do about the CNS and nerves so i would liek to ask a question that has been bothering me for some time.

 

Two days ago i could get an erection pretty easily everything "down there" seemed back to normal in allot of ways. but yesterday i underwent acupuncture to help with stress... I know that the more im stressed the more of a chance this may be permanant so ive been very eager to find fast ways to releive stress.

 

Anyway after the treatment i have felt fatigued very fatigued. At first i felt like passing out literally. My body felt heavy and my head felt like it was filled with molasis. My private part got very numb and i can no longer get an erection at all its as if it has reverted to the way it was when i took the SSRI. Though it didnt shrink.. I also feel very warm.

 

I woke up in the middle of the night sweating and with ringing ears. Specifically my left ear was ringing like crazy. Ive never heard it ring that loud it was as if it was releasing pressure. I had neadles put into or on those ears.... Could this acupuncture have made my cns deregulation worse? Could it h ave caused some sort of nerve damage thus resulting in itchy and pins and needles parts of body (left foot more specifically) and ringing ears (left ear) and a numb crotch? And no sex drive? And most of all i feel emotionaly numb again this time i can only feel fear i cant feel anything else....

 

I didnt even feel joy or hope when Donald Trump Was elected! I should have but i didnt. I used to be so poltitical but i feel nothing normally i would have been shocked! What has happened to me... (I do not intend to start a political conversation i am simply making a point)

 

Is all this possible? why is it that my left side of my body feels strange? Left ear left side ringing, left shoulder, left side of crotch, left but cheek and left foot plus left hand are all itchy and pins and needles... 

 

My acu therapyst was very expernced and profesional but still. is all that a posability? 

[TheWayfarer]

My left ear is ringing allot... When i had a neadle put in it during acupucnture i told my drocter that it was sting allot adn he said thats was a sign there was allot of built up QI there... I hope he is right nd that what i ame experncing is just a short term side effect that means my QI is healing and my body is recovering... I cant help though be suspicious that putting neales in me hurt me more than helped me. I really hope it did not interupt the healing process (SSRI healing pprocess) allso i have been very stressed day in and day out since taking the SSRI. Is it possible that this constant stress will keep me from fully healing? allso after looking at Ghost's story i am afraid that mine may end up being the same... I thought i was recovering not that long ago but this sudden change after acupuncture has me questioning my healing. This stress cant be good for it.. Will i make a full recovery? Ghost was only on it for 4 days..

[TheWayfarer]

The way i see it my brain coudl have been healing but the acupucnture could have thrown off the process or i could have bee find before but the acupuncture trigured something and caused real damage and dysregulation that i am now having to deal with.

[TheWayfarer]

I am allso starting to havevery bad back pain and getting nasuous

[Shep]

Hi, Wayfarer.

 

It's likely the acupuncture caused some problems. According to Alto's post on the Acupuncture thread  - "Make absolutely sure your acupuncturist understands you want calming treatments, not stimulating treatments. Some may make the same mistake doctors do, thinking your "depression" needs some kind of stimulation."

 

Your CNS is incredibly sensitive right now, which was proven by your reaction to only one Zoloft pill. I would avoid acupuncture and concentrate on other forms of healing, such as Tai Chi, yoga, and / or meditation, which are all "calming". 

 

Acupuncture may be something you'll want to re-visit at a later time. 

 

Also, try not to conflate your recent acupuncture setback with anyone else's experiences. This is what's called a "catastrophic thought" and is a source of OCD ruminations. When these happens, it's time to return to your non-drug coping techniques such as distraction and play a video game, take a walk, do a Tai Chi video, etc. Don't let the thoughts pile on top of each other until they get out of control. 

 

From the quote I listed below, you were already having at least a partial window before the acupuncture. Give your mind/body time to calm down from this recent setback. 

 

 

 

I just got allot of my emotion back not all of course but enough to feel semi human again, i credit this to my mental brake down last night. It seems that after you freak out it releases allot of emotional tension giving you the ability to feel emotion again. It seems my parents were partially correct after all. Its not all SSRI induced. Allot of it is "natrual". I am also feeling allot more energetic, its as if i got a second wind. I never thought that i would feel such a sudden improvement.

 

 

[TheWayfarer]

It did not give me enrgy it made me feel like my brain and body was full of molasis...

[Djderek]

Hey buddy. I don't come here much but I was pulled in when I read your struggles.

As someone who went through this and Recovered, I want you to know and understand that this is not permanent.

I went through the same process. I kind of lost my mind, found pssd and did all the research in the world .

It only began to go away once I began to find peace within myself. It took many months and alot of suffering for me to let go of fear.

Fear is the ultimate emotion. It trumps sadness, happiness, anger. It's the ultimate emotion.

All I can do is offer advice. The ones that recover are the ones who find peace. Don't listen to people and their opinions about what's "really" going on and most important, rest.

The entire time I had anhedonia I was chronically stressed, I couldn't sleep. My mind took the wheel and I got lost in thought like a bug to a light.

Practice mindfulness and meditation.

You will recover

Take care

[TheWayfarer]

I really apriciate the responce. Its very admirabke of you to come back to theese forums even though you have fully recovered.

 

I have been trying mindfullness and i cant say im good but im getting there.

 

Although before i sign out for a while i have a question for anyone who knows allot about ACUPUNCTURE or atleast something.

 

My acupuncturist told me i was thinking to fast and my "QI" needed to be slowed down. At the time i was desprate for a solution so i didnt tgink about the consiquences of that.

 

Before the ACUPUNCTURE i was starting to feel normal. Normal adrenaline attacks ome emotion allot of sex drive and some returning passion for my hobbies. I started to enjoy talking again and my intuition returned. I always have hevily relied off of this intuition this gut feeling to help me choose thing, the right words exedra and it has never let me down and always helped me imencely.

 

Although since the acupuncture i expernced extreame fatigue, i felt as if my head and body were disconected from reality and filled with molasis. All my reactions were slow it was as if my nervous system was drugged. I couldnt feels stress headaches but i couldnt feel any emotion iether. My sex drive dropped to nothing again. And my intuition faded. I fell into depression again.

 

 

Its now been three days since then and i have passed the 72 hour period in witch i should feel complety normal.

 

So for those who know what there talking about.

 

Is it possible for me to have substained permanant or long term alterations from tbis acupuncture?

 

Will theese symptoms faid? Or are they long term?

 

Will i return to normal 100%? or will i always be dealing with the affects of this procedure....

 

Is this temprary and if so how come im not better by now?

 

Will my QI go back to the way it was before?

[scallywag]

The suggestion that you would feel normal after 72 hours was probably based on what happens for people who are NOT dealing with a destabilized CNS.

 

You will recover. Nobody can predict how long it will take. I think I need to write a macro for my replies to you.

[TheWayfarer]

I apriciatw your answer scallywag. Just an OCD question. How do you know i will recover compeltly? My accupincturist said what im experncing is very rare and hes never heard of it. He went on to say i should "give it time" and that the goal of the acupuncture was to return my brain to a balenced state if this is a balenced state i swear. He implied my brain has always been this way! And that the acupuncture just returned me to my normal state. If this is my normal state then i must normaly be a ... i just need reasurence from well read people anyoen who knows the bio chemistry of both ssri's the cns and acuouncture. Is it even possible for this to be long term? Will i return to my pre acupuncture state?

Edited November 11, 2016 by ChessieCat
removed obscenity

[TheWayfarer]

https://www.drlam.com/blog/tired-after-acupuncture/4766/

[scallywag]

First of all, what you're experiencing isn't that rare.  You'll see that this site has thousands of members since it started and there are many, many people who read this site without ever registering.

 

Your brain was not always this way. What an illogical and profoundly stupid assertion from the acupunturist!! Were you going through any of this before you took the Zoloft? Dumb question, of course not! Because if you were experiencing this before Zoloft you wouldn't have thought even once about it after Zoloft.

 

I can't answer your questions about the interactions among SSRIs, CNS and acupuncture. I think a person who can do that will be far more rare than someone going through neurological symptoms after one dose of Zoloft.

 

Best bet for now is to stay away from acupuncture and to do things over which you have more control -- tai chi, qi gong, yoga, meditation, etc.

 

I and others have said before that being young and having taken only 1 dose weighs heavily in your favour for full recovery. It may take months but the odds are definitely on your side.  I hope you shift focus from worrying to what you can do now to cope with the symptoms.

[TheWayfarer]

I apriciate your responce. Update: my neck is very itchy and i feel like throwing up. My sex drive feels like its at 0%...

[TheWayfarer]

My parents belive 80% of my current symptoms are caused by extreame and constant. Stress, anxiaty, OCD, and depression..... i dont know what to think anymore. I suppose they could be right

[TheWayfarer]

I told them i didnt feel stressed right now or else i would be feeling back and head pain. They say i am stresed i just dont notice it...

[ChessieCat]

Hi Wayfarer,

 

Please don't keep focussing on every little detail.  You've already been down that path and got yourself all worked up.  You realised that that sort of thinking wasn't helping you.  Just like before it will take time.  You need to do other things which will distract you and the time will seem to go faster.

[TheWayfarer]

Im really confused. I feel no sex drive and like i am going to throw uo any minute. When i told my parents they said i was stressed but i dont notice it... how do i relive stress i cant feel?

[TheWayfarer]

Apriciate the responce cat. I know. I just feel a need to understand my current situtation but evryone is telling me what im going through even though they dont seem to be right..

[ChessieCat]

What we suggested previously applies to this situation.

Please see the following posts:

 

Post #159

 

Post #165

 

Post #170

[TheWayfarer]

Apriciate the rwpsince i could definitly use the reminder. Ive been experncing lately a lack of intuition and had trouble holding conversation and constructing sentences witch is very unsual for me. I recognize most of my problem is stress/anxiaty/depression(OCD induced and of i can learn mindfullness and ther coping mechanisms and imlament healthy life style changes i can probably solve most of this. But still. It is very hard for me to belive this is all caused by stress and anxiaty/CNSD soon i will be persuing more natraul means to solve this. But forst before i completly devite myself i must know weather it is a posablity that i am experncing from some sort of brain infection, tumor, damage exedra. I need to know that is not a factor. Because one of our ideas involve me going to a place were i wont have much acsess to medicle care.

[ChessieCat]

"soon i will be persuing more natraul means to solve this"

 

Time is natural.

[TheWayfarer]

So lately i have been talking to my new phyciatrist who belives strongly along with many other people i know incuding nurolagists and phyciatrists that SSRI induced long term brain damage is imposable and unheard of. They belive my sexual, emotional and physical sode effects are all being caused by Stress and anxiaty and depression. And that what im having is a placebo affect.

 

I desoratly want to belive this. But if that is the case why is it that so many PSSD sufferer's have e,oenrced the same thing i have? And is it not adnormal if not "imposible to feel the affects of the meds on the first day of taking 25mg of zoloft?

 

Curently im dealing with(this is going to be graphic but im not willing to leave out any details)

 

●Sexuality is greatly decreased

●Have a tough time getting erection(sometimes its imposable)

● No plesure from sexual function

● CROTCH numbness and tingling feel constantly

● inabylity to feel guilt, andrenaline(rare but sometimes i have adrenaline)

● brain and heart feel seprate

● emotions feel chemicle

● savere adihnonia

● loss of family attachment

● loss of interest in everything

I could go on for soem time but ive already listed the most important things (Suicidal thoughts, increased depression, Adahonia, Sexual dysfunction/numbness no adrenaline)

 

Now seeing i had emotional, adrenal and sexual numbness set in the very first day of taking the meds. Is it possible even after discontinoutaion that i would still be feeling theese side effects? Im told that this is just stress, anxiaty, depression and placebo but its hard for me to belive when there are so many PSSD sufferers online who have had exoernces just like me.

[TheWayfarer]

I allso am exoerncing strange burning sensations throughout my body (around my crotch, sholders) and itch feeling in crotch... its really strange. Waht worries me is the lack of emotion i feel amd sexualitu its not normal for me esoecally for a 17 year old. Does anyone know what this is? PSSD or S/A/D/P? Does PSSD exist? Im told it doesnt. And will i return to mu normal self after this? Or will i not like woman and have a changed sexiality?! Will i get my emotional motivation back and be me again? What do you think?

[TheWayfarer]

I feel disgust when thinking of sexual interaction with a girl. Witch is not normal for a me at all. (Im just testing myself by doing this) is this long term? Can depression/s/a/p do this?

[TheWayfarer]

And allso why does it seem that my symptoms are getting worse and better at the same time?

[TheWayfarer]

Do i have Ss?

[TheWayfarer]

This feeling of inability to feel emotion is terrible. Will it pass? I just don't see me being able to live like this in the long term. I just want my personality back. I am told one pill could never do this yet there are so many website and forms that are full of people just like me who only took one pill and had a reaction. I just can't fathom all this is because of that one decision. Please i understand the cycle of freeking out is bad but i need information. I am going to see my psychiatrist about all this. I will make sure to post any and all useful information i have learned about my condition. If you are religious please pray that this is just placebo. 

 

 

 

Thank you

-WF

[Djderek]

What your experiencing is a form of major depression. Yes, one pill could have triggered it. Some people get this from chronic stress, some from Benzodiazepines withdrawal syndrome, some people get it from alcohol withdrawal.

 

Right now, there's nothing you can do to make it go away. You have two options

 

1) wait it out

2) take a medication that can help alleviate these symptoms of depression

 

I was on Xanax for four years. When I came off, my stress was so bad, one day I woke up, and I was completely numb. It lasted for a couple of years, then it very gradually began to subside in intensity, before eventually completely going away.

 

I took ssri's in the past and never had this issue after discontinuing

 

I only got it from chronic stress, sleep deprivation and losing control of stress in my life

 

 

How's your sleep? Do you worry alot? Have a routine? Exercise? Eat healthy?

[ChessieCat]

Please be aware that a psychiatrist may suggest another drug or combination of drugs.  You have already had a bad reaction to Zoloft.  If the psych suggests any drugs, I suggest you research the possible side effects before even considering taking another psychiatric drug.

 

Time and using non-drug coping techniques is probably your best options.

[Djderek]

I for sure wouldn't take any meds if I were him. But if I was suicidal, it would be a better option to take something rather than following through with it

[ChessieCat]

I can understand your thinking Djderek but unfortunately we have been led to believe that a pill will cure us and many of us here have discovered that that is not the case and can in fact harm us.

 

The problem with thinking that a pill will cure our ills, whatever they may be, is that we tend to turn to the drug as a solution rather than finding and trying other non-drug ways of getting through a bad spot.  We want, what we think is, a quick immediate and easy solution which doesn't involve too much effort.  Using non-drug techniques can be hard work and can sometimes be a matter of just getting through the next day, hour or minute, but in my opinion that would be better than the alternative of using drugs.

 

In TheWayfarer's situation, taking another drug is most likely to cause more issues and could possibly lead to a lifetime of being poly-drugged and numbed.  It is highly likely in his case that giving the brain and CNS the time it needs to heal itself is what is needed.

[Djderek]

Living with emotional numbness is like living in a world full of black and grey with no color, no love, no joy. And there's nothing you can do but wait it out. It's the most painful thing I've ever gone through. You can't truly appreciate the emptiness unless you've Been through it yourself. When your numb, there is no motivation, no fear of death. Just a never ending, minute after minute, relentless itch to make it stop

 

I respect what your saying, but I don't agree with your stance on the subject. Sometimes, medication is necessary if it will save someone's life. You telling everyone that medication will damage them, will keep people who need help from actually getting on something that can make them feel some form of life again. If you've never truly suffered from depression, then who are you to speak for people living with it?

[scallywag]

Wayfarer, If you decide to see a doctor about getting a new prescription, please

• make sure that you inform him/her about your STRONG reaction to a single dose of Zoloft (sertraline)
  -- and --
• ask the doctors many questions about why a particular medication was selected
  -- and --
• research the medication before taking it. You could ask to speak with a "clinical pharmacist" who acts as a consultant on medication issues.

[TheWayfarer]

hey thank you all for your responses. My new doc understands that i should not be on medication and is willing to respect my decision not to go on. She is very open minded and intelligent. before our latest appointment i sent her a list of concerns along with links to PSSD forms and websites such as RISX. She looked into all them and even did some of her own research. based of her research she believes that most PSSD suffers really have underlying stress anxiety and depression along with a placebo affect that keeps them locked with symptoms they know and call PSSD. Although she was not able to explain why i had such a large reaction to the medication on the first day she believes it has all left my system and is in no away affecting my brain as it stands. She believes the pill triggered a negative response (sexual numbness) witch influenced my emotions. This sudden change forced me into a panic attack. After the panic attack. I sat it out as side effects for a few days. After learning about PSSD i attributed everything i was feeling to that. The sudden shock of believing i was stuck without emotions and sexuality for the rest of my life made me greatly stressed anxious and depressed. That depression and stress was somehow so overwhelming that my body just had enough and blocked out emotion and numbed me to adrenaline and tension headaches exedra. So now if i can treat my underlying stress and anxiety it will help my depression and release many physical symptoms. But its a two sided coin because i must also treat my depression witch has gotten to such a level that i no longer feel my heart. This sounds all very strange to me and PSSD seems like to easy of an explanation but what she believes could be true. People who claim to suffer from forms of PSSD could very well be experiencing, a combination of extreme Stress, depression, anxiety and placebo or just placebo alone without noticing it. 

 

 

I really how this is the case. as it stands she wants me to trust her that PSSD is for the most part this and i cam experiencing just that, placebo stress/A/D.

If this is the case i will make a full recovery. But still what worries me is how this who have PSSD say they feel like emotion are just chemicals. DJDEREK, you said you had something like this and eluded it was just an unmanned high level of stress. Do you remember feeling the heatless and chemical feeling? 

 

And as for suicide i will never do it, if i do have a long term thing(i shouldn't even say this because I'm already costatraphizing and convincing myself its PSSD, but if it is long term if not really long term(avoiding the word) i would travel to the middle east and take out as many jihadists as i possibly could before dyeing. The old no the REAL me would never kill himself, so if can't live with my real personality because of a chemical error, i will attest die in  accordance with real personality. 

 

Anyway thank you all for the responses once again. 

[TheWayfarer]

And one pill triggering depression? Hm, i have to say to myself this is all depression and stress the sexuality change everything darn. Alright so DJDEREK whenn you had this did you experience all this? Do you still have any side effects? was it the pill or just depression and stress? If your comfortable do you mind telling me your story? Anything that will help me change my paradigm..