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Derealization or Depersonalization (DR and DP)


squirrel

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Hello everyone,

I am about a month in a half out in my withdrawal from taking citalopram for only a month, after having pretty sudden reaction to it, mostly emotional numbing. Coming off it it, the most severe side effect I had/have is derealization and depersonalization. I feel I am out of the brunt of it, as things no longer feel 2d and I do feel that I am present most of the time. Past this, the most disturbing symptom of dp/dr I have experienced is the loss of emotional memory. This meaning my memories don't really feel like mine, they feel emotionless and far away. I can recall all of the memories I usually go back to in times of sadness and distress, they just don't feel like anything, and because of that they don't feel like mine. As a result, I don't really feel like I have a strong sense of self, and spend most of my time feeling really blank.

I was wondering if any of you have dealt with this symptom, if it has gone away for you, and if you have any tips on dealing with it/ overcoming it.

Thanks for listening!

-in September 2015 took 10 mg of Prozac for one week

-off for one week after adverse effects

-in October 2015 took 10 mg of citalopram for one month,

experienced extreme emotional blunting.

-been off all medication for about 2 months.

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Hi  Paxe , welcome to the site.

You'll find discussion about derealization and depersonalization on this thread  http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=0ahUKEwjmz56MmajKAhUn5KYKHWXCBtMQFggcMAA&url=http%3A%2F%2Fsurvivingantidepressants.org%2Findex.php%3F%2Ftopic%2F1766-derealization-or-depersonalization%2F&usg=AFQjCNGXb-u13WIhqwiB5haa_wHoSUsF2A&sig2=5pwxktq1IESONfR5ismgHQ&bvm=bv.111677986,d.dGY

 

You might want to use this post to start a topic for yourself in the Introductions forum , so we can get to know you better.

 

Best wishes ,  Fresh

1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg

2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg

Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta

Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months.

July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months.

Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg.

October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive.

March 2016 , 21mg

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Yea i completely get it, like your thoughts are so far and you are too detached to make sense of it all!

 

I suppose you're feeling very confused too right? Because you just don't have that belief that it's withdrwal or anxiety or whater else. 

 

The ruminating thoughts ARE very much dp / dr related though. Because you feel soo detached and everything is dream like you start to question reality and have existential thoughts.

 

How long has this been going on for?

Yes, I don't know which thoughts are real thoughts and which thoughts are fears. It's all very confusing. How do you react to the feeling of confusion? Or are you able to just push it aside?

 

It's been difficult because I've lied and manipulated a lot in my life and I'm working really hard on changing that, but when past stuff comes up and I truly don't know what's real and what's not it's difficult for me. I want so badly to live an honest life that sometimes I feel like I'm "outing" myself about past things and don't know 100% if they have or haven't happened or something. 

 

I've had DP/DR before and it was unlike this. Have you also experienced it before, but this is a new form of it for you?

 

I had to google existential because I wasn't remembering the meaning... Thought I'd share this link with you that I came across, lighten up a moment of your day maybe. I like the one "I have no idea what I've forgotten." http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6900409/18-existential-shower-thoughts-that-will-change-your-entire-day

 

I feel like this form of DP/DR has been going on maybe 2-3 months now. How about you?

Last taper was off of Lamictal (Lamotrigine): Started drop from 225 mg in April 2014 by going down 25 mg every 2 weeks. Then to 12.5 mg every 3 weeks. Then 10 mg every 3 weeks. Then 5 mg after 3.5 weeks. (using the chewable, dispersible pills) I had gone down to 30 mg, but was far too sick and went back up to 35. I then dropped back down to 30 mg, then 1 mg drops until 25 mg. Dropped off completely at 25 mg because the symptoms from taking the pills were becoming more unbearable than the withdrawal at times. Completely off as of 5/11/15. Update 10/28/15: Reinstated 0.0625 mg, meant to take 0.25, measured wrong. Only took 2 days.

I've gotten off of: Abilify, PRN Klonopin (0.5-1 mg) - no taper as took it infrequently, and Effexor (300 mg). Abilify and Effexor were rapid tapers around the beginning of 2014. After tapering Effexor and Abilify I tried taking Remeron and Topamax for a short time with very bad side effects. (I have taken numerous psych drugs over the years (starting in my early teens), but these were the ones I was on when getting off completely).

On 2/9/15, received a Promethazine injection for nausea, which caused pain, numbness, burning, shooting pain and was prescribed pain meds (made me sick and didn't help), 5 days of Prednisone, and some sort of anti-inflammatory. I had been doing somewhat better with Lamictal taper until this point.

Current Supplements: Omega-3 with Co Q-10: 1000 mg x 2, Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids and Rose Hips: 500 mg x 2, Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotics

 

Dx: Asperger Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD), GAD, and PTSD

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Hi guys ,  in  this thread on "Derealization or Depersonalization"  members talk about similar experiences.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1766-derealization-or-depersonalization/?hl=derealization

 

Hopefor Better , the ruminating (going over and over things in your head) is a common symptom.  Try to use CBT

techniques to recognize that that's what's happening , and to make the decision you're not going to think about that

at the moment.  Most people find when their mind is engaged in an activity , the thoughts aren't there.

 

Thanks, Fresh. I'll have to try more of the CBT approach. When I try to tell myself more functional thoughts I just feel like I'm lying to myself. I guess it is all a process. I wake up throughout the night with these thoughts and find that they're often fairly constant throughout the day, even if I'm trying to be busy with something else. I'll keep on working on it, as I know there's no other way to get through this than to change my thought processes.

Last taper was off of Lamictal (Lamotrigine): Started drop from 225 mg in April 2014 by going down 25 mg every 2 weeks. Then to 12.5 mg every 3 weeks. Then 10 mg every 3 weeks. Then 5 mg after 3.5 weeks. (using the chewable, dispersible pills) I had gone down to 30 mg, but was far too sick and went back up to 35. I then dropped back down to 30 mg, then 1 mg drops until 25 mg. Dropped off completely at 25 mg because the symptoms from taking the pills were becoming more unbearable than the withdrawal at times. Completely off as of 5/11/15. Update 10/28/15: Reinstated 0.0625 mg, meant to take 0.25, measured wrong. Only took 2 days.

I've gotten off of: Abilify, PRN Klonopin (0.5-1 mg) - no taper as took it infrequently, and Effexor (300 mg). Abilify and Effexor were rapid tapers around the beginning of 2014. After tapering Effexor and Abilify I tried taking Remeron and Topamax for a short time with very bad side effects. (I have taken numerous psych drugs over the years (starting in my early teens), but these were the ones I was on when getting off completely).

On 2/9/15, received a Promethazine injection for nausea, which caused pain, numbness, burning, shooting pain and was prescribed pain meds (made me sick and didn't help), 5 days of Prednisone, and some sort of anti-inflammatory. I had been doing somewhat better with Lamictal taper until this point.

Current Supplements: Omega-3 with Co Q-10: 1000 mg x 2, Vitamin C with Bioflavonoids and Rose Hips: 500 mg x 2, Multivitamin, Vitamin D, Probiotics

 

Dx: Asperger Syndrome (originally misdiagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD), GAD, and PTSD

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Concentration problems are very, very common in withdrawal syndrome.

 

In addition, if you are taking olanzapine, it may well be making you dopey. That is its intended effect.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 4 months later...

Is DP/DR the same thing as feeling like you are a zombie and are zoned out?  I have been feeling very flat, like I don't care, almost trance like sometimes but have not felt like I was floating from above  so is what I am feeling DP or DR?

1995 - 2015 antidepressants and antianxiety medicine
Multiple failed attempts to quit/taper anti d/anti anxiety meds since 2008

June 17, 2016 began prozac bridge to get off of effexor xr, stopped effexor xr on June 24, 2016, could not tolerate prozac due to severe side effects so I had to stop it  Currently...300 mg ER of lithium, 1 mg of estradiol, 60 mg propranolol ER, Fish oil 2 x a day, Magnesium Glycinate,  zinc, vitamin c, vitamin d, NAC

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

Downtongirl,

 

I think the best description of DP/DR that I have heard from many people is a sense of "unreality" and the feeling that they are watching life happen from the outside (i.e., they are observing their lives).  Another descriptor that is quite common is that people feel like they are seeing life through a pane of glass or like they are looking through water.  Things don't seem real and there is a sense of disconnection. 

 

Feeling "flat" and "not caring" sounds more like the emotional blunting and anhedonia that comes with antidepressant use as well as from withdrawal from these meds.

 

Others may view it differently but that is my experience.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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  • 5 months later...

I'm having this dP/dr stuff bad right now. Did it get better for anyone?

2005-2015 sertaline, 2015 to November 2018 escatalopram. Used liquid titration to drop doses. By 0.5mg at first then drops as small as 0.01mg at end of taper. Jumped of at 0.02mg

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I'm curious did most of you taper or quit cold turkey for these symptoms to last so long. I cold turkey from 2mg of prozac which I thought was low enough but a week after I stopped I got this intense out of it dizzy, blurry vision, zombie feeling. Almost like I can't think as clear or foggy brain. And still have it 3 months later.. Is this the same thing as depersonalization?

I was on paxil for 9 years. From 2004 to 2013. Switched to prozac got off and on couple times in that year then eventually staying on prozac last 2 years. Starting at 2 mg cutting the pill every day. Got up to 4 mg for about 5 months then lowered back down to 2mg for past 6 months. Then quit the 2mg. First week was ok then it hit hard. Confusion, dizzy, felt like was passing out. Anxiety attacks, felt depersonalization, body spasms, felt really weak like I could barely hold anything. Then had a few days felt normal then back to confused and had no emotion. Then my eyes and ears were very sensitive and still are.. About 6 weeks in got super depressed almost suicidal thoughts from the stress and the toll it has taken on me. I thought it would get better but hasn't.. So at 7.5 weeks reinstated to a little under 1mg with liquid. I don't take any other medication or supplements

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  • 1 month later...

I did a very rapid taper after 11 years of AD's like 2 months. Been feeling super weird ever since

I'm curious did most of you taper or quit cold turkey for these symptoms to last so long. I cold turkey from 2mg of prozac which I thought was low enough but a week after I stopped I got this intense out of it dizzy, blurry vision, zombie feeling. Almost like I can't think as clear or foggy brain. And still have it 3 months later.. Is this the same thing as depersonalization?

2005-2015 sertaline, 2015 to November 2018 escatalopram. Used liquid titration to drop doses. By 0.5mg at first then drops as small as 0.01mg at end of taper. Jumped of at 0.02mg

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I'm having this dP/dr stuff bad right now. Did it get better for anyone?

 

I had it, and it's now long gone, it does go away.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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Completely new to this site but can't say how relieved i am to read these comments.  I'm experiencing the DR severely right now from Paxil taper.  Only thing that helps when it gets out of hand is .25mg Xanax.  Please tell me that it does go away after completely quitting Paxil?

  • 15 Years Paxil 40mg
  • Started taper 11/2016 with few reinstatements/other med trials
  • Reinstated Paxil to a max of 20mg
  • Started new taper 12/2017
  • Currently at 5mg
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I have this at the moment - it started yesterday.

 

Its a weird spacey feeling, and yes, the out of body thing is not far off.

Dose History: 19 Feb 2014 - Escitalopram 10mg daily June 2015 - Started taper, 5mg every other day July 2015 - 5mg every 2 days August 2015 - 5mg every 3 days September 2015 - 5mg every 4 days Sept 14th - Completed tapering, but at 7 weeks "drug free" I suffered serious WD symptoms as a consequence of "incorrect" tapering. Nov 25 2015 - Re-instated Cipralex @ 2.5mg daily. WD symptoms faded. Held at this dose and experienced "windows and waves". 12 Oct 2017 Reduced dose to 1.25mg. 13 Mar 2018 Reduced dose to 0.625mg (approx.). 16 April 2018 0mg. Windows and waves triggered by stress (IBS/reflux, headaches, sinus issues) Aug 2019 Mirena coil fitted 6 Jan 2020 MAJOR Wave hit 19 months following last dose (protracted WD).  Symptoms listed below Mar 2020 Mirena coil removal.

Therapy: Nov 15th 2016 Re-started therapy Jan 19th 2017 Started CBT Dec 2017 Started listening to Hypnotherapy CD (self-esteem). Nov 2019 Started couples therapy.

Supplements: "Bioglan" Biotic Balance Ultimate Flora 10 billion CFU, live Bacteria, Probiotic, suitable for Vegetarians, with Lactobacillus Acidophilus, Lactobacillus Rhamnosus, Bifidobacterium Longum"Pukka" Vitalise a unique blend of 30 energising botanicals.

Diet: 16 April 2018 Detox cleanse / anti-candida for 90 days. Jan 2020 Started "small plate" diet (i.e child size portions).

Exercise: Stretching, Yoga, Pilates, Spinning, Elliptical/upper body workout, walking.

Medical Test Results: 4 Jan 2017 Homeopathic Treatment starts 24 Feb 2017 Started weight loss program 24 Mar 2017 Naturopathic Treatment + anti-Candida diet started due to suspected Candida Related Complex (CRC). DETOXED for 7 weeks to "re-set" gut. April 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Comprehensive Stool Analysis NEGATIVE; Full Blood Count (Normal) / Blood Cholesterol: 5.6 (Borderline) / Blood Sugar (Normal) / 28 Jun 2017 FSH 8.2 / 14 Nov 2017 FSH 17.7 Dec 2017 Blood Cholesterol: 3.9 (Normal) / Kidney Function (Normal) / Blood Sugar (Normal). December 2017 "Genova Diagnostics" Food panel allergy (bloodwork) analysis - a few "VERY LOW/VL" allergens; Mar 2018 "Genova Diagnostics" SIBO urine analysis: High Level of Yeast/fungal markers found in small intestine but NO SIBO.  April 2018 Thyroid (Normal) / Full Blood Count (Normal) / FSH (Normal). 16 April 2018 Started anti-Candida diet - 3 month protocol.   25 March 2020 All test results "Normal". CRP" 5 mg/L (normal range to 0-5 mg/L).

Symptoms:  Flu-like symptoms, anxiety, anhedonia, sinus headaches right-side (severe), IBS issues/reflux (severe)**, tinnitus, fatigue, inner tremor, nausea, chills/hot flushes, pounding heart, muscular issues including stiff left hip flexor, intense anger, PSSD (ongoing).  **Histhamine intolerance (suspected).

Major Life Events: 

Re-located to UK from Canada: Jan 2016

My father died: 5:05pm, Monday 5 Feb 2018 Last Lexapro dose: 16 April 2018 (its now been over a year since I quit ADs)  Moved house: Friday 23rd February 2018  "Divorced" toxic Mother: Monday 26 March 2018 Starting working again: 19 November 2018  Diagnosed with: 5th August 2021 PTSD/C-PTSD Diagnosed with: March 2022 Interstitial Cystitis (IC)/Painful bladder syndrome

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  • 3 weeks later...

I have this really bad today. I read somewhere in the past (don't remember where) that DP/DR could be a protection mechanism in the brain to protect against chronic anxiety. It kind of puts up a barrier and makes threats seem not as threatening or something. Although it creates more anxiety feeling this way so I am unsure, but maybe this was helpful back when humans weren't at the top of the food chain. Has anyone heard that theory before?

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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  • Moderator Emeritus

I read somewhere in the past (don't remember where) that DP/DR could be a protection mechanism in the brain to protect against chronic anxiety. It kind of puts up a barrier and makes threats seem not as threatening or something. 

 

Yes, Waiting. Definitely.  That is the primary theory surrounding dp/dr to my knowledge.  Even those that view it as "dissociative" will agree that it is triggered largely by anxiety.

 

The following:

 

http://www.dpmanual.com/

 

Is in my view one of the best resources on this subject.  

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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Thanks Andy that is helpful

2011-2014: 25-50mg Zoloft then CT via doctors advice. Some mild physical sx but fully functioning, unaware that withdrawal was a thing. Dr didn’t know why I was chronically dizzy with brain fog & advised to try Zoloft again.

2016: severe adverse reactions to Zoloft (1 dose), Paxil (3 weeks), celexa (2 weeks), buspar (1 dose), lamictal (4 doses). Ativan 12 times within a month. Also tried Xanax & klonopin a couple times. Each reaction became more severe. Kindled. Became disabled from these meds.

Drug free 12-16-2016
Month 1-20: +5% healing every month
Month 21- present: setback to acute from amoxicillin antibiotic (1 dose)
Month 32- 11 months into setback from antibiotic. Seems I was floxed by amoxicillin somehow. Horrific.

 

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I had severe DP/DR at the beginning of WD, and it is better now, if it bring ease to anyone. I'm 18 months off by the way.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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does DP/DR affect vision?

went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct  back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs.

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Yes, definitely.

CD off meds in July 2015, not on any medication since. Went through WD nightmare, now dealing with normal anxiety, but decided not to leave this forum yet because I want to support and give hope to others. ♡

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Don't guess there's really any way to speed up the recovery from this ? Been having derealisation bad for past month now and it freaks me out when my own mom doesn't seem familiar to me and feel no emotion but dread and anxiety pretty much . And also I relate to feeling when looking at pics of myself or look in the mirror it's like looking at stranger , pretty unsettling symptom

Was put on Zoloft 15mg 1/17/2016 after I had my first panic attack I believe due to excessive drinking mostly .

 

Quit Zoloft 4/16 due to side effects and was put on lexapro 10mg

 

Quit lexapro 10 mg due to side effects 8/16

 

I don't want to reinstate any drug

 

Started citalopram 10mg 1/10/17

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  • 4 weeks later...

Can derealisation happen while still on the meds? I had it before starting the AD but just after huge panic attacks and very briefly. After the first try at WD it was terrible. When they upped the dose it got better but just for a while.

I started my taper two weeks ago and I am doing very well in general. But sometimes the derealisation kicks in and I think my existential dread and crisis are triggered by it, sometimes.

Will this get better when I stop the drug? And since I had it before (although very very mild) the AD, does it mean it won't go away?

 

Thank you all

2001 - 2004 (9yrs to 12 yrs old): Clomipramine (don't remember dosage).

2013: Sertraline on September but stopped after two weeks. Xanax for 3 months (late september to december). Two days of terrible withdrawal insomnia and panic but stopped.

2014 - 2015: Luvox 50mg (february 2014 to june 2015).

2015 - 2016: Luvox 25mg (june 2015 to april 2016). Started to taper in April, taking one every other day for a week, one every two days. Severe dp/dr, anxiety and panic attacks.

2016 - 2017: Reinstated Luvox 50mg in June. Started to feel very depressed and anhedonia. Thoughts of suicide that scared me.

January 2017: stared tapering Luvox.

(Gradually reducing 1/8 of the pill, 6.25mg each time (every 4 to 6 weeks) - 12% of original dose, because my taper was going well and couldn't cut pill into smaller bits)

July 2017: 25mg

(Reduced 1/8 of the pill, equivalent to 6.25mg - 12% of original dose)

August 2017: 18.75mg

October 2017: 18.75mg

 

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  • 3 months later...

New here and just started tapering Zoloft. Although I don't have much anxiety, I do have light feelings of Depersonalization. It's been very mild so far. Does this get worse with every successive cut? Is this typical throughout the entire weaning process? Should I always hold until the Depersonalization symptoms subside before cutting again?

April 26th - 36.5>32.8mg Z.

Feb 4th - 40.5>36.5mg Zoloft.

Jan 5th - 45>40.5mg Zoloft.

Dec 6th - 50>45mg Zoloft.

Nov 1st - 53>50.0mg Zoloft. Sep 22/17 - 50.0>53.0mg Zoloft. Sep 18/17 - 59.0>50.0mg Zoloft.

Aug 7/17 - 65.6>59.0mg  July 18/17 - 72.9>65.6mg. June 18/17 - 81>72.9mg 

May 28/17 - 90>81mg.  May 8/17:  Started my taper. 100>90mg

1995 to May 8/17:  100mg Zoloft/day.  Working well but suspecting some signs of Tolerance this past year.

4/5/17:  Started Testosterone Replacement Therapy via T pellet insertion.  Diagnosed with Secondary Hypogonadism.

Supplements:  1000mg fish oil, 10,000iu Vit D3 with K2, 400mg Magnesium.

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  • 1 month later...
On 10/6/2011 at 11:49 AM, Altostrata said:

As I understand it, depersonalization is usually described as a feeling of not really being present, or being behind glass, or not living one's life and feeling one's feelings -- being an observer.

 

I had this for quite a while. I guess it very gradually diminished, until one day I realized I felt I *was* present. It was a very different feeling, and a huge relief.

At the time it lifted, did any other symptoms also lift?  Like an anxiety? or light sensitivity? 

 

When it lifts, did it ever come back?

 

I read it took three years before it lifted.  Do you put this down to time or maybe one of the other supplements /drugs /treatments you tried at the time? e.g. acupuncture, alpha blocker or lamicital?

 

Love your website and all that you guys do on here. You've been the beacon of hope for me and many of us. 

 

In Jan 2011 started Lexapro 10 mg after 10 minutes consultation with doctor telling him I felt anxious in confined spaces and had an anxiety attack on plane and underground. Remained on that dosage until Sept 2014. Tapered following a doctor's schedule on 2.5 mg drops every three weeks. Once stopped I developed severe withdrawals. Three weeks of Prozac beginning of Oct 2014 but had adverse reaction and stopped CT. Protracted withdrawals since. Supp now - magnesium, fish oil, turmeric, vit D, melatonin (but recently it's made me depressed), castus vitex capsule with ginger, Withania, Vit E, zinc, Lutein for PMS.
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  • Administrator

My recovery from depersonalization was extremely gradually. I don't recall noticing a big change in any other symptom pattern once depersonalization lifted.

 

No, once it went away, depersonalization never came back.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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On 7/3/2017 at 9:30 PM, Altostrata said:

My recovery from depersonalization was extremely gradually. I don't recall noticing a big change in any other symptom pattern once depersonalization lifted.

 

No, once it went away, depersonalization never came back.

 

Alto, 

Do you recall if your DP affected your memory of what life was like, self, family, friends, etc.? No memory of these things and no connection to them.... It's very un-grounding and causes fear in complex ways for me... If you did experience this "flavor" of DP/DR did it slowly fade back in?

 

Thanks <3

August 2008 No previous history of Depression or anxiety I was hit with post-natal anxiety and depression after my sons birth. March of 2009- given 100 mg Zoloft May of 2009-given .25 Xanax 3x a day due to Zoloft not helping anxiety
2012 pregnant with daughter came off Xanax and down to 25 mg Zoloft
Oct 2012 after daughter birth put back on 100mg Zoloft and Xanax .25 3x a day
Jan 2015 tapered off Xanax over the year
Dec 2015 started tapering Zoloft 6.25 mg every two weeks- slowed this down in May to every 4 wks. Still pushed forward regardless of intensifying mental symptoms especially severe DP.
Down to 25 mg Zoloft mid sept 2016-
Dropped again 6.25 mg and things became so severe I decided to hold. 12 weeks later dec 2016-  at 18 mg Zoloft. I am suffering severe debilitating DP and with this a lot of other mental symptoms and of course some physical ones that I can handle.

Did incorrect liquid taper and realized 3 weeks later I had dropped 10 mg- done Dec 15-down to 8 mg Zoloft

Dropped 4 mg Jan 20th 2017-Current dose 4 mg Zoloft- Did this all wrong!

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Guys, I need help.
 

 


I think that I might be experiencing this.
I'm foggy all the time and can't define a n y t h i n g, do I feel this way, do I think this or that, do I have or don't have some symptom... And those things are important to me, but I really can't say what I'm experiencing because it's all very foggy all the time and it never ends, whole day - every day.

The thing is that my doctor tells me that I'm not experiencing any type of dissociative symptoms (dpdr, dissociative amnesia, fugue or anything that falls under that category). I thought for a long time that I'm not experiencing them as well because when I was experiencing them (I know that I was because it was confirmed from a doctor, plus it's a symptom of my mental illness), I wasn't experiencing it on this way, it was much different. This all started at the beginning of May (2017.) and it didn't end until this day. Before that, I was having intense obsessions and compulsions and I was severely depressed and anxious in general. 

I don't know what else to say about what's wrong except this, because fog and feeling disconnected from the world is connected to dpdr.

 

Did anyone experience that kind of a fog where you can't define anything, anything when it comes to what's happening around you/to you ? And I don't mean that I don't know, for example, if an apple is in front of me that there's an apple (I know it's an apple) --- stupid example, but you understand what I am saying, but I can't define the behavior of other people, my own, what I'm even experiencing, feeling etc.

It was pretty much worse when I was on 10mg of aripiprazole, the medication I'm trying to get off from. It started even before taking aripiprazole (I've already had an intense withdrawal back then).

Does this sound like dpdr to you ? If not, please tell me how to cope with this.
How I'm coping so far is by doing things that I'd find useful for my future when I come out of this mental state, for example. I'm trying to constantly do things and be distracted (but I have nothing to be distracted from, because of the fog, constant fog that doesn't let me do anything), I'm trying to exercise for 3 times/week (1 hour), drink enough water, smoke less than usual, journaling almost every day, plan every day what I'm going to do, color... But the feeling doesn't go away. Never, ever.

 

I don't know what to do.

My withdrawal journey (click)

 

"If you're going through hell - keep going".

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No, depersonalization did not affect my memory. It eliminated the emotional associations connected to my memories.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

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20 hours ago, apathetic said:

Does this sound like dpdr to you ? If not, please tell me how to cope with this.
How I'm coping so far is by doing things that I'd find useful for my future when I come out of this mental state, for example. I'm trying to constantly do things and be distracted (but I have nothing to be distracted from, because of the fog, constant fog that doesn't let me do anything), I'm trying to exercise for 3 times/week (1 hour), drink enough water, smoke less than usual, journaling almost every day, plan every day what I'm going to do, color... But the feeling doesn't go away. Never, ever.

 

Yes, this sounds like dp/dr to me.  It is a crappy feeling and the best thing one can do for it (other than waiting for healing to take place) is to practice mindfulness and try as best as you can to remain in the present moment.  That plus acceptance of the condition (for the time being) -- Dr. Claire Weekes would say "true and utter acceptance" -- are the only things that can really be done.

 

The things you are doing in terms of "planning for the future" are all good and serve as distractors to keep you from being hyperfocused on the dp/dr on a 24/7 basis so I would continue that, but beyond that you are doing the best you can.

 

Best,

 

Andy

Sertraline 50mg and Clonazapam .375mg from 2000 -- symptoms of dizziness Spring 2012

increased to .5 Clonazapam and 100mg Sertraline -- no improvement

Benzo microtaper from November 2012 to November 2014 (followed benzo sites "taper benzo first")

Started Sertraline taper in December 2014 cut by 25mg to 75mg; 62.5mg 1/1/15 and 50mg on 2/1/15

Held at 50mg through April 5 to use liquid 
Reduced dosage in 10% or less drops from 50mg to 25mg -- at single tablet of 25mg on 10/5/15

Transitioned to all liquid for accuracy while tapering -- Horrible insomnia -- back to 25mg liquid and held until October 1, 2016

10/16 -- 11/18 tapered very slowly to 10.6mg.  No real improvement and never really stable so updosed to 12.5mg (1/2 a pill) for convenience and long hold.

After 8+ months of holding with no noticeable improvement decided to add .4ml of liquid Prozac (about 1.5mg) to see if that improves the situation

Supplements, Magnesium, D3, Omega 3, curcumin, Valerian, 81mg Aspirin, L-Theanine, Vit. C,

 

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27 minutes ago, apace41 said:

 

Yes, this sounds like dp/dr to me.  It is a crappy feeling and the best thing one can do for it (other than waiting for healing to take place) is to practice mindfulness and try as best as you can to remain in the present moment.  That plus acceptance of the condition (for the time being) -- Dr. Claire Weekes would say "true and utter acceptance" -- are the only things that can really be done.

 

The things you are doing in terms of "planning for the future" are all good and serve as distractors to keep you from being hyperfocused on the dp/dr on a 24/7 basis so I would continue that, but beyond that you are doing the best you can.

 

Best,

 

Andy


Thank you so much.

My withdrawal journey (click)

 

"If you're going through hell - keep going".

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  • 5 weeks later...

Does DP/DR lasted for years for everybody? Is there a case where it lasted only for months? Im so afraid because i have 2 small kids and is so hard to take care of them in this state, i want to mention that i cold turkey risperdal (1 mg at night and half in the morning) i was on it for only a month and trileptal for 3 months, i stopped those drugs 5 weeks ago and im experiencing brain fog and DR 24/7 non-stop, does this mean im going to have this for years? Omg its really scary😞 I dont think its severe like some people have it, i feel connection with my kids, laugh with them, give them plenty of love and cuddles and i feel it! I have my emotions, the problem is that everything looks unrealistic and that things are just there! Light bothers me so when i go out i always have t wear sunglasses and if im sitting down and then get up i get dizzy, i also feel sedated or drugged, is that also a feeling of DR?

Took 600 mg of trileptal (2 pills) every night and 300 mg (1 pill) in the morning for almost 3 months

 

took 1 mg of risperdal at night and half pill in the morning for 1 month

 

these are the only 2 drugs i've ever taken.

 

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HI,I have this also and I did loads of reading up on it and found some videos on YouTube about it ,when I get it bad I just try focus on what I'm doing at that moment and try not think about it ,the main thing is don't panic ,the problems arise from the panic rather than the actually the DP/DR ,the busier you are the better I find ,its a strong form of anxiety/stress ,I suggest reading the non drug techniques to cope .

only time will tell how long it lasts ,5 weeks is still early for stopping a drug from what I've read .

The fact you feel connected and enjoy your kids is a very good sign so I suggest not to panic .

take care

PB

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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2 hours ago, powerback said:

HI,I have this also and I did loads of reading up on it and found some videos on YouTube about it ,when I get it bad I just try focus on what I'm doing at that moment and try not think about it ,the main thing is don't panic ,the problems arise from the panic rather than the actually the DP/DR ,the busier you are the better I find ,its a strong form of anxiety/stress ,I suggest reading the non drug techniques to cope .

only time will tell how long it lasts ,5 weeks is still early for stopping a drug from what I've read .

The fact you feel connected and enjoy your kids is a very good sign so I suggest not to panic .

take care

PB

How long you been having it for? Is it also a withdrawal symptom for you? Do you get headaches? Earaches? Anything else? 

Took 600 mg of trileptal (2 pills) every night and 300 mg (1 pill) in the morning for almost 3 months

 

took 1 mg of risperdal at night and half pill in the morning for 1 month

 

these are the only 2 drugs i've ever taken.

 

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13 minutes ago, Lolitaheb said:

How long you been having it for? Is it also a withdrawal symptom for you? Do you get headaches? Earaches? Anything else? 

definitely withdrawal for me ,I'm in protracted withdrawl.I've had it about a year ,comes and goes in intensity .

I get headaches ,noise sensitivity also[some days this is very bad ] ,I've got a good few symptoms ,ile only be moaning if I list them all :(:D.

keep all stressors in your life to a minimum ,things will tick us off that don't before so be mindful of this ,this will exacerbate it .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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4 minutes ago, powerback said:

definitely withdrawal for me ,I'm in protracted withdrawl.I've had it about a year ,comes and goes in intensity .

I get headaches ,noise sensitivity also[some days this is very bad ] ,I've got a good few symptoms ,ile only be moaning if I list them all :(:D.

Wow, i'm glad to know i'm not the only one going through this, i just wish i has windows where i feel a little better, but this dreamy feeling is 24/7, well i hope we recover soon, i know for me its just the beggining

Took 600 mg of trileptal (2 pills) every night and 300 mg (1 pill) in the morning for almost 3 months

 

took 1 mg of risperdal at night and half pill in the morning for 1 month

 

these are the only 2 drugs i've ever taken.

 

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Just now, Lolitaheb said:

Wow, i'm glad to know i'm not the only one going through this, i just wish i has windows where i feel a little better, but this dreamy feeling is 24/7, well i hope we recover soon, i know for me its just the beggining

ye its unnerving at times ,so do all the research you can on it ,you will feel better about it after informing yourself ,there's a few on here with it ,I don't believe its permanent .

Alcohol free since February 2015 

1MG diazepam

4.5MG PROZAC.

 

 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

Does anyone get really bad or worse derealisation when they turn their head certain angles and keep it turned.  When I am talking to someone at my side, so my head is turned, I get heightened derealisation... I then almost panic like I'm losing my place on earth.

In Jan 2011 started Lexapro 10 mg after 10 minutes consultation with doctor telling him I felt anxious in confined spaces and had an anxiety attack on plane and underground. Remained on that dosage until Sept 2014. Tapered following a doctor's schedule on 2.5 mg drops every three weeks. Once stopped I developed severe withdrawals. Three weeks of Prozac beginning of Oct 2014 but had adverse reaction and stopped CT. Protracted withdrawals since. Supp now - magnesium, fish oil, turmeric, vit D, melatonin (but recently it's made me depressed), castus vitex capsule with ginger, Withania, Vit E, zinc, Lutein for PMS.
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