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Dyschronometria - distorted time perception


Barbarannamated

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I've been experiencing greatly altered perception of time, or a "time warp". For several months, days went v-e-r-y slowly as if I could hear every second ticking by. I attributed it to my lack of activity and boredom.

 

This past Friday flew by. I got up at about these same time as usual (5:30-6:00), did nothing special or unusual, but suddenly it was 4pm and I was struggling to remember what I did all day. I rarely watch TV or have anything regularly scheduled (aside from meds - YAY). I recalled writing 2 emails to doctors about my NeuroImmunlogy case to find a 2nd opinion.

 

Yesterday went back to slowly ticking by. The holiday weekend is tough for me. I have "everybody is out having fun but me" syndrome on weekends and especially holidays.

 

I'm asking for 2 reasons: the shift between Friday and Saturday was dramatic. Previous shifts had been gradual and lasted for chunks of time (months).

 

Secondly, I know that I have structural damage to my white matter from autoimmune disease per recent MRI. That is known to cause perceptual distortions, depression, and personality changes.

 

I'm trying to sort out these symptoms to know what to attribute to withdrawal, autoimmune white matter damage or drugs to treat current condition (steroids, most notably). I'm having particularly "altered" perception in the morning and early evening (6-8pm).

 

I remember feeling this way in 2008 after the hospital CTd me from Klonopin and and opiate for 3 days and switched alot of drugs around. I clearly recognize those feelings as withdrawal now. Strong deja vu. I had no idea what was going on.

 

I will change my signature to reflect recent MRI findings and drugs. Until then, please know that my situation is extreme. I don't want to alarm anyone or suggest that it is something common to all who took drugs. My genepool set me up. :(

 

Thanks for any input.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Hi, Barb!

 

I sent you a PM. I didn't post any input here yet because although I relate so much to "altered perceptions" re meds and even re the state of the world (hope that doesn't sound too "out there"!), I would have asked what meds you're on - and what med changes you've made for, say, the last year or so - if you hadn't mentioned that you'd be updating your signature.

 

Given the medical things you've been going through (hospital, tests, etc.) I've totally lost track of your meds and med history, and therefore what might be factors in what you're experiencing.

 

In the meantime, sending you lots of hugs!

I was "TryingToGetWell" (aka TTGW) on paxilprogress. I also was one of the original members here on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I had horrific and protracted withdrawal from paxil, but now am back to enjoying life with enthusiasm to the max, some residual physical symptoms continued but largely improve. The horror, severe derealization, anhedonia, akathisia, and so much more, are long over.

 

My signature is a temporary scribble from year 2013. I'll rewrite it when I can.

 

If you want to read it, click on http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/209-brandy-anyone/?p=110343

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Hello Barb,

 

As you know, some time ago I brought up that I felt "time warped" and you said OMG so do you and you thought you would start a topic on it.... and so you have. I am sorry you are having such a hard time. I really have not read enough to know "your story" but enough to see that you have had a rough time for a long time and I am saddened by this.

 

Since I have gotten off of Efexor, though I doubt that I am over it yet, I must say I am feeling better and better for the most part. I am sitll having some withdrawal symptoms but over all I feel much better. As of today I am down to 15 mg. of Prozac. Your topic has reminded me of time warp and I realize that I don't think I am experiencing that anymore. Therefore, I might conclude that it is the drugs that cause this imbalance with our natural sense of time. Thinking broadly about all of these pschye drugs, there seems to me an endless variety of broken brain circuits that result in side effects and one is much better off of them IF possible.

 

Gosh I wish I could say something more helpful for you.

If it is of any consolation, I am not "out there on this long weekend having fun either." :(

I too send you ((hugs)).

 

AMG

I think! Too much!

Jan. 2009 150 mg. Venlafaxine

2012

5 June 112.5 mg. Venflx

25 June 75 mg. Venflx

8 July Fluox 5ML (0 Venflx)[/b]

10 July aprox. 20 mg Fluoxetine liquid, trouble measuring between 4 - 5 ml, 0 Venflx.

15 July Fluox 5 ML + Vnflx. 10 - 6 grains

24 July Fluox 5ML + 37.5 mg Venflx.

10 Aug Fluox 4.5 ML

13 Aug.Fluox 18 mg liquid; 18 Aug. Fluox 17 mg; 25 Aug. Fluox 16 mg;

2 Sept Fluox 15 mg; 10 Sept Fluox 14 mg; 17 Sept. Fluox 13.6 mg; 29 Sept. Fluox 13 mg.

7 Oct. Fluox 12 mg; 14 Oct. Fluox 11 mg; 21 Oct; Fluox 10 mg; 23 Oct. 9mg; 26 Oct. 8 mg.

21 Nov. 5 mg; 3 Nov. ZERO

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I haven't noticed anything like this, but I did see something on a documentary once about how our perceptions of time is in our brain. An inner clock. It doesn't seem unlikely that having issues with your brain chemistry could effect perceptions of time.

Taper from Cymbalta, Paxil, Prozac & Antipsychotics finished June 2012.

Xanax 5% Taper - (8/12 - .5 mg) - (9/12 - .45) - (10/12 - .43) - (11/12 - .41) - (12/12 - .38)

My Paxil Website

My Intro

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I remember reading some research on this as well as seeing something in a quick news blurb I think. IIRC it has to do with a supply of something in our brain that depletes as we get older which is why older people tend to feel time moves very quickly whereas younger will tend to get bored and feel it drags.

 

I wonder if this is something that gets messed up with the drug use. Sadly, there's no real way to knew beyond (if it were possible to measure the amount of this substance or whatever it is) doing autopsies on the brains of a massive random sample of people and including different age groups that never took any kind of AD or other psych drugs - they would be the control group. Then get samples from people who have used psych drugs and even or most especially those who have gone through withdrawal. Ah, finally, something that could be measured unlike the rest of the psych stuff out there.

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The holiday weekend is tough for me. I have "everybody is out having fun but me" syndrome on weekends and especially holidays.

 

I have this problem as well. I just *know* that everyone in the USA (except for you, AMG, a friend in Illinois, and me) is out having a smashing holiday weekend that they will remember for years to come. Never mind that I know better on a rational level.

 

I haven't experienced the time-warp phenomena from antidepressants or AD withdrawal, but I certainly did decades ago with recreational drugs, long before SSRIs were even invented. It's likely that other drugs might have this effect, too.

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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I remember reading some research on this as well as seeing something in a quick news blurb I think. IIRC it has to do with a supply of something in our brain that depletes as we get older which is why older people tend to feel time moves very quickly whereas younger will tend to get bored and feel it drags.

 

I wonder if this is something that gets messed up with the drug use. Sadly, there's no real way to knew beyond (if it were possible to measure the amount of this substance or whatever it is) doing autopsies on the brains of a massive random sample of people and including different age groups that never took any kind of AD or other psych drugs - they would be the control group. Then get samples from people who have used psych drugs and even or most especially those who have gone through withdrawal. Ah, finally, something that could be measured unlike the rest of the psych stuff out there.

 

What is IIRC?

 

This does make sense with my MRI findings if the substance is white matter or glia. I have damage (holes) in that area that appear to have started awhile ago. My undestsnding is that white matter damage/hyperintensities are a *normal* part of aging, but mine is advanced (and I have neurologic symptoms). I'm trying to find a neuroimmunologist to consult on my case. I'd like to know if my brain is closer to a healthy 60 yo or 90 yo (I'm 50).

I have a friend who has had 'neurologic variability' for awhile. His MRI showed white matter hyperintensities, but the doctors didnt feel it was significant (also 50 yo). I think this is a relatively new area of research. Focus has been on gray matter up until the last 10 years or thereabouts.

 

I'm trying to use it to slow the loss.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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IIRC = If I recall correctly

Psychotropic drug history: Pristiq 50 mg. (mid-September 2010 through February 2011), Remeron (mid-September 2010 through January 2011), Lexapro 10 mg. (mid-February 2011 through mid-December 2011), Lorazepam (Ativan) 1 mg. as needed mid-September 2010 through early March 2012

"Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity." -Hanlon's Razor


Introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1588-introducing-jemima/

 

Success Story: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/6263-success-jemima-survives-lexapro-and-dr-dickhead-too/

Please note that I am not a medical professional and my advice is based on personal experience, reading, and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers.

 

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  • 7 months later...

I can't quite recall if I have ever written about this before, but, ever since I reacted to an SSRI and then had to c/t, I have had extreme difficulty estimating how much time is elapsing. For about a month after c/t it was severe, while I was poly-drugged to treat the reaction and c/t, and then it lessened significantly when I got off one drug, but it never fully healed.

 

This one symptom is causing me a LOT of problems in my life. People I don't know well don't understand that I might talk too much, for instance, or show up somewhere too late (when you have to be somewhere at an approximate time but no exact time is ever given, so you can't simply keep looking at your watch to make sure you are on time) because I have no idea how much time has passed. And it's nearly impossible to explain to people you don't know well why it is that you have no sense of time passing without telling them about the drugs, which I have no interest in doing anymore. Even if I just tell people I had a drug reaction and don't tell them what the drug was, it doesn't seem to work out well for me. And of course it seems pretty bizarre to tell people whom are nearly total strangers about your health problems if they didn't solicit for that info.

 

If anyone else has this problem, have you found a solution for it?

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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I have experienced this as well, but when dealing with longer periods of time (days/weeks/months). This is probably less debilitating than what you're describing. I'm not sure that I have any particular advice, but I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. Is your memory impaired apart from this?

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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USky,

 

I experience this from hour to hour and also through the year. For example, I just realized that it's been 3 months since the holidays. It seems like a few weeks ago. I wrote about it ina thread, but didn't know the name of it. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2893-time-warp-time-distortion-time-perception/page__fromsearch__1

 

I'm sorry i dont have any good suggestions for you.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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I'm like this too...you can use a watch or clock...it helps me a lot. When you know you have to be thinking about the time you look at the clock and go from there. It's second nature for me at this point and I don't experience the issue as much of a problem anymore...just a nuisance.

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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I have also found phone alarms to be my friends

1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms.

Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12

Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13

Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15

11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble)

9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol

7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol

56 years old

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yes, I use my kitchen timer for all sorts of things too...I bought one that I can set at a few minutes or a few hours...very versatile

Everything Matters: Beyond Meds 

https://beyondmeds.com/

withdrawn from a cocktail of 6 psychiatric drugs that included every class of psych drug.
 

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USky,

 

How do you feel this relates to talking too much? I'm not sure I understand that part.

 

I rarely go anywhere or meet up with people, but i use the alarm feature on my cell phone when I have an appointment. I also use the timer feature (not the Cook Time) on microwave occasionally.

 

This is one of my most disturbing symptoms, most of which fall into the perceptual category. Very disorienting.

 

Thanks for giving it a name.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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How do you feel this relates to talking too much? I'm not sure I understand that part.

I think he/she meant that that with such a poor memory it had become difficult to keep track of how long they'd been talking.

3 Years 150 mgs Effexor

2 month taper down to zero

3 terrible weeks at zero

Back up to 75 mgs

2 months at 75

6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine.

3 month taper back to zero

1 HORRENDOUS week at zero

2 days back up to 37.5

3 days back up to 75

One week at 150 - unable to stabilize.

Back down to 75 mgs

At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012.

 

"It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche

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  • 3 weeks later...

Sorry I have taken so long to respond, withdrawal issues and other problems have kept me from answering.

 

I have experienced this as well, but when dealing with longer periods of time (days/weeks/months). This is probably less debilitating than what you're describing. I'm not sure that I have any particular advice, but I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. Is your memory impaired apart from this?

 

Thank you for replying to me Narcissus, and sorry you are having similar issues. Unfortunately, yes, my memory is very much affected. I lost pretty well all of my memory while on drugs, and have only lately gotten some of it back. But there remains a core deficit I have no easy way to explain anymore--basically I can get at a lot of memories now, but they are vague and I now rely heavily on other people's accounts of what happened, because I often have no clear way to figure out if I am getting things right. Sometimes I have to make them up to a degree, as in, I have to fill in the details of old memories. And creating new memories isn't working out well...I know some of what I did, but by no means all of it, plus the chronology of events winds up very jumbled in my mind.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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USky,

 

I experience this from hour to hour and also through the year. For example, I just realized that it's been 3 months since the holidays. It seems like a few weeks ago. I wrote about it ina thread, but didn't know the name of it. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2893-time-warp-time-distortion-time-perception/page__fromsearch__1

 

I'm sorry i dont have any good suggestions for you.

 

Oh, I am sorry you are in the same boat. It is scary isn't it? I know EXACTLY what you mean about it seeming like only a few weeks has gone by. I am continually startled by how quickly it seems time is elapsing, and how confused I seem to be about what month it is. Sometimes I am off by as much as two months...and how doctors continue to maintain there is nothing substantially wrong here I will never understand. Have you had any recognition that this is happening or what caused it? I know mine is from drugs, there is no other possible cause as I have been through every test imaginable, but it would be nice if they even admitted I had a problem with time. I had no idea until I found this term online that it was even known of in medicine, though surely people with head injuries and the like must suffer it in some instances.

I am not a medical professional and nothing I say is a medical opinion or meant to be medical advice, please seek a competent and trusted medical professional to consult for all medical decisions.

 

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This has been very bad in the last several weeks. Or perhaps I've had more reminders of my loss of ability to track time. For years, I attributed this to not having a job, kids... life events that force one to track time, be it hours, days (weekdays/ends), years/birthdays/anniversaries.

 

Every day seems disconnected from the previous (Groundhog Day effect). The lack of continuity is MADDENING. It feels like I've been asleep - or in another world - for many years (Rip van Winkle effect). When anyone asks how old I am, my immediate feeling (before I stop to think) puts me in my early 30s. That's when I began on SSRIs, almost 20 years ago. I remember things that happened, but they *feel* like they were in a parallel world. Or, I can't FEEL the emotions attached to those events. Disconnected, dissociated.

 

I am aware that I have vascular brain lesions (per MRI). I dont know if that is related and dont want to scare anyone else who has this symptom of time distortion, but I hope anyone who has experienced this can tell me if it ever resolves. Does lost time reconcile itself??

 

Most importantly, if this is related to the cerebrovascular damage, I wonder if it will get better or worse. I want to believe that this is withdrawal-related and I am HEALING, but very scared that this may be progressing.

 

The doctor who found the lesions attributed it to autoimmune damage in brain but couldn't explain why the symptoms flared with withdrawal of Pristiq. He prescribed hydrocortisone but I reacted very badly to it (suicidal thoughts upon wakening).

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Thanks to Unfolding Sky for giving this a name: Dyschronometria

 

Link to thread: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4152-dyschronometria/page__pid__51108#entry51108

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Barb,

 

One school of thought contends that a lot of autoimmunity comes from the gut. GAPS diet is based on this idea but there are other proponents beyond the founder of GAPS. Have you ever had a metametrix stool test, Barb? If I was in your shoes, I'd order one.

 

Hang in there,

Alex

"Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast
I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past
But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free
I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me.

Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there
Everybody's got to move somewhere
Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow
Things should start to get interesting right about now."

- Zimmerman

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  • Administrator

Merged two similar topics on a very interesting subject.

This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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  • 1 month later...

Just had an episode of this. Felt like I hadn't communicated with a friend in a few weeks. Left a message on Facebook and saw that we last chatted on Saturday. I recall the content of the brief exchange, but I was shocked that it was just a few days ago. I'm certain this is contributing to the feeling of time going slowly, painful boredom, and life seeming very long.

Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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  • 2 years later...

Is it just me ? I think since being in WD time has slowed down for me.Why I don't know is it that it's such a horrible experience ?

Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently

5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.

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Yes I think so. Think reached point where can't quite remember what's its like to be normal, suffering seems interminable, instead of being looked forward to days become something to be got through. Hard to imagine being free of all this. And in acute, days can be got through minute by agonising minute. But when we re normal again, hopefully this will seem like a bad dream

Paxil 10mg 21/2 years to June 2012 after a 2 month taper

 

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wake me up  :D

Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently

5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.

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Agreed. When feeling normal, the years fly by.

 

Now, months drag by slowly.

 

I've only had this head noise for ten months, and it seems like a lifetime.

 

Hard to imagine that I might have to deal with this for a few more years.

 

I'm just getting by hour by hour this past week. Yet two weeks ago, best windows ever, symptom-free and feeling great. I was already writing my success story in my head, it was that good, for a few days. I was thinking of those poor folks on SA, suffering, as if I was no longer one of them. But the joke was on me. Something in me knew it was just a window......and slowly, the symptoms crept back.... 

 

During windows, I quickly forget the severity of my symptoms, and begin planning to live normally again. My mind wants to move on, at any sign of real improvement. I think that's how we are, we move quickly to get past the trauma.

 

I ran three miles just now, and the constant head noise disappeared for an hour. Oh happy day!

 

It's amazing to think of how much money I would pay to be cured. That's one way to know just how bad this is.

 

Once we are normal, we will compress this agonizing time into a single block of memory and feeling.

 

We will get on with life, and begin to complain about little inconveniences again. But I'm sure we'll carry a few lessons learned from this time: among them - when you have your health, you have everything.

Hell hath no fury as an SSRI scorned.....

 

Prozac:   20 mg 1996 – May 2003 CT to 0 mg; by Aug 03 CRASH then protracted WD 3 yrs

Zoloft:    2004 few weeks;, CT to 0 mg

Effexor:  2005 few months CT to 0 mg; bad withdrawal. 

Lexapro:  10 mg from 2009 – 2011; cut dose in half to:

Lexapro:    5 mg from 2011 – Feb. 2014; CT to 0 mg; 2 months of fatigue, followed by:
Aug - Oct 2014 Lexapro WD Insomnia Wave; sleeping very good from Nov 2014 - Nov 2015; broken sleep pattern Dec 2015 - Jan 2016

Dec 2014 - present: Brutal Lexapro WD ear ringing/head ringing/head pressure lasting for 14 months now.

 

24 months SSRI-free  

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Its very cruel I only have very short Windows couple of hours at most.I'm grateful for that then back to the nightmare.

Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently

5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.

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Withdrawal has made my days drag by agonizingly slow, but weeks have flown by and months seem to have passed even faster. I've lost 4 years of my life and looking back its like they only took a few months to pass. My daughter turned from a teenager into a young professional and I don't know how it happened, I missed it all.

I'm not a doctor.  My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one.

My Introduction Thread

Full Drug and Withdrawal History

Brief Summary

Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects

2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010

Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal

DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms

Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal)

May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins.

Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes

Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine

Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D

June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens.

Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered

Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days.

April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close.

VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from?



VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made?



VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes?



VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects?

VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes

 

 

 

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long withdrawal terrifies me, & i agree w/ pteunia time does go by fast ,but I'm not proud of the lack of things i've accomplished these past few months. it's almost as if I'm already a dead man at 17

Summer 2013: started on Prozac for OCD

Fall 2013: started Lexapro due to Prozac zombie effects

 

Stopped Lexapro because of lack of empathy/emotion,anxiety,lack of concentration etc.

Fall 2014: switched to zoloft 

 

February 2015: started effexor quit C/D after 2 weeks.

April 2015: was on zoloft for a month again to try and wean a bit more slowly. DID not work.

May 2015: dumped all of my medications

July 2015: Struggling day to day with withdrawal symptoms but hopeful that I'll be better at the end of august for the next school year.

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Time is incredibly slow, I check my watch all the day long. But, hey!, nearly a year has passed from when the nightmare started. And i have a void in my head if I try to recollect memories of these past months, scary thing!

March 2010/ October 2010:

Sereupin 30mg a day, EN 15 drops a day

October 2010/ 1st November 2014:

Cipralex 50mg a day (tapered to 40mg a day in August 2013), EN 15 drops a day (switched to Lexotan 15 drops a day in September 2014)

Started Risperdal 1mg a day on the 1st November 2014.

Stopped Risperdal on the 23 November 2014 because that day, after a short mental crysis, I suddenly lost all my emotions,desires,motivation and they not come back yet.

Stopped Cipralex C/T in December 2014.

Added, tapered and stopped other drugs during the following months (also a voluntary hospitalization in January 2015 for a suicide attempt)...no changes yet.

 

 

I'm med free from 3rd December 2015

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What's weird for me is I feel time is going by fast. Mainly because I am watching everything around me evolve. Friends having babies, weddings etc..and I feel like its groundhog day for me, nothing changes stuck in a nightmare but yet time is going by eventhough my symptoms are heavy..can't wait for the nightmare to end.

Was on 30mg (Lexapro) for 7-8yrs20mg for 3 months (This was my choice my Doc wanted me to drop much faster)15 mg 2week10mg 2 weeks 5 mg 1 week0 since August 24th . PPI Dexlant  30 mg taper has begun. Cutting 20% currently.  using zantac as needed.  Benzo is currently 0.10mg 

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Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc).

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Theres a name for it great.

Sertraline 100mg amytrip 60mg diazepam 4mg (and when needed) since late 90's.Reduced all meds over 6 wks (too short) last doses 13 wks ago.Still having withdrawals.I would have done it differently

5th august 2015 reinstated 5mg amytripiline.increased to 10mg amtrip 9th sept 2015.

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I have no perception of time at all. I think this is because of the severe dp/dr - every minute of the day is the same.

2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription.

Severe adverse reaction

Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on.

Poop out - December 2013

15mg

Currently on 13.5mg,

April 12mg

May 10th - 11mg

June 10th - 10mg

July 8th - 9mg

September - 0mg

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