LemonBerry;The rollercoaster of Medicine and Anxiety

[LemonBerry]

Hello everyone,

 

I'm LemonBerry and I'll tell my story here and will also try to help others hopefully. Also I'm from The Netherlands so sorry if I make mistakes in the sentences or that some medicine has a different name here.

 

 

It all started when I was 16 and got sick, my heart was beating 180 and I was diagnosed with 'supraventricular tachycardia'. Though this was quickly fixed by a surgery except I kept thinking after the surgery I was going to die of heartattacks and what not. So for over 4 months I struggled with anxiety and atleast one day a week I was at the emergency department because I really thought I was having a heartattack. After a while the docter decided to prescribe me Venlafaxine.I don't remember the dose anymore, it's too long ago. This didn't work out quite well, I woke up in the middle of the night from nightmares with a tingling tongue and ******. Also I was extremely angry sometimes. The docter decided this wasn't the right medicine for me. So they put me on Sertraline, 50MG. In 2014 I ended in the hospital twice. First time was when they increased the dose of Sertraline to 100mg (which they did because they thought I was depressed). I was having my school final (loads of stress probably) I was twitching on one side of my body. The hospital said they couldnt find anything wrong with my body but it could be a side effect of the Sertraline. In the end atleast I still got my diploma when I re-did my final. A few months later I was a weekend alone and also ended in the hospital because I couldn't stop thinking I was having a heart attack. In the end it was also because I had alot of stress about deciding wether I want to continue studying or find job. After this was figured out and everything was taking the right turn I decided to quit Sertraline. Everything was going well the only withdrawal symptom I had was the 'electric shocks' (not sure how to describe it).

 

At the start of 2015 things were quite alright except the fact I was quite down being not able to find a job and broke up with my boyfriend. I went to a person to talk to every week but this didn't really have much effect. Things were clearing up though because I found a really nice job so I decided to stop going to the psychologist since I didn't have much time as I'd be working fulltime from now on.

 

Things were going great till people got fired left and right, my manager was leaving and everything got really busy. This was were the anxiety started comming back. First all I thought about was work 24/7 after that when I felt something like a little bit of a sore throat I thought I had the worst things. I started going to the docter almost every week. They said it was stress (which it was) and I should try to relax a bit more. But having problems with anxiety you don't even believe the docter anymore. Then my legs started to cramp up and I started googling my symptoms. NEVER google your symptoms, this only makes things worse. I started to think I actually had the worst things like MS or ALS.

 

This was when the docter decided to rpescribe me antidepressants again, This time Escitalopram, 10MG. I did not react well to this. I was feeling super happy and super horny right after the first day I took it. After I took it my whole skin was turning red and I had difficulty breathing. Yet the docters at the emergency place told me to keep taking it since you can't just quit antidepressants. Plus people find it harder to believe you since you have anxiety problem. After 2 days I couldnt take it anymore, this was also in the weekend so I couldnt contact my own docter but the emergency docter agreed I took half of it. So I took 5MG and called my own docter right away monday. She didn't really know what to do since on one side Escitalopram is known for bad side effects in the beginning but on the other side these were quite severe. So she called a psychiatrist, which I could see and talk to the next day. The next day he told me to quit the Escitalopram as it seemed to make manic. Also being super horny doesn't really fir the image of anti depressants as it seems most do the opposit. Also since I was dealing with great anxiety still he advised me to take sertraline as I took it before and take some more intensive therapy for my anxiety.

 

I thought this was a good idea since I don't remember having very bad side effects from Setraline.

Even on 12,5MG the 3 days were horrible. I couldnt eat a thing and I barely slept. Also I was having a weird feeling in my ****** again. So I quit this aswell perhaps without the approval of my docter but I was done with all the medication. and my therapy starts the 8th of september. 

 

This is where the whole meberassing thing starts. After a few days of quitting Sertraline, I didn't sleep anymore and so I was having extreme anxiety of never being able to sleep again and dieing of lack of sleep. So I took 5mg of Oxazepam in the morning to calm down but I collapsed/fainted an hour later. Perhaps because of lack of sleep or worrying so much or the combination of it. So we (me and my mother) went to the emergency room again, the docter told me to take the other half of the Oxazepam and a Temazepam to sleep. I slept like a rose that night atleast so the worry of never being able to sleep again was gone. The day after I went to the docter and she advised me to take the Temazepam for a week so I could get a nice sleep rythm. When I got home I realized my ****** was feeling weird so I started googling thinks about anti depressants and the ******. This was also not a good idea. Like I said before googling things makes things worse and I get to the point I believe I have it. So I found an article about the relation between PGAD and SSRI's AKA the medicine I took the past 2 weeks. So I completely broke down. Atleast I took the courage to go to my mom and talk about it and asked her if she'd never stop believing me. Which she atleast agreed to do.

 

When I got home I decided to take a look at my ****** and noticed it was white. So my rationality pulled me back to the earth and I realized I might just have an infection from all the stress. So I called the docter and she prescribed me some kind of cream. I have been using the cream for a week now but don't really notice an improvement. My lower abdomen and back also hurt like hell. They also tested if I had Cystitits, which I did not. So Now I'm scared I have PGAD which is an insult to people that do have it if I don't and if I just have a stupid infection. Yesterday I felt a weird feeling in my ear and got super dizzy. I nearly fainted and got super workedup. I started googling (again, why do I even do that) about extreme low blood pressure and found things about Septic Shock and was convinved I was going to die from that.

 

But here I am, still alive the next day. Worrying about PGAD again instead since the cream doesn't have much effect and the stupid cramps in my abdomen are unbearable.

 

 

So this is my story thus far. If anyone has any questions I'd be happy to answer them if I can. Any advice is also very welcome. I really really really do hope it gets better with this stupid anxiety. Atleast I have a supporting mom and a loving boyfriend (we got back together again). But wanting the anxiety to go away and being done with everythign is appereantly not enough to solve it. I also have NO intention to suicide or whatsoever. It's more the opposit, that I'm paranoid of death.

 

Also sorry about the censoring and everything and I don't know if I put it in the right forum but it's certainly not meant sexual in any way.

[DavidStone]

LemonBerry,

 

I'm so sorry for the roller coaster ride you've been on.

 

I feel there is one point I can address that I share in common with you. I was born with a heart condition I didn't get a diagnosis on until a few years ago. It's called Wolff Parkinson's White. The simple explanation is I had an extra pathway that electrical charges could follow when my heart beat. When that happened my heart rate would soar like yours. Sometimes it would self correct sometimes it would and I had to go to the hospital. I've since had the problem fixed. But, I spent so much time focused on my heart rate that I've become overly conscious of it and it ties into my anxiety to some degree.

 

Here is what I believe may help me and perhaps you as well. Since for me my heart rate increasing has meant "bad" things my fight or flight response is a bit sensitive to it. So, I'm adding exercise into my daily recovery regime. I feel good after I get on my stationary bike and I'm trying to train my mind to accept that an increased heart rate doesn't mean danger.

 

I think desensitizing myself to being conscious of my heart is a key component to settling down my anxiety.

 

Currently I'm going through Lexapro (escitalopram) WD which isn't helping the situation but I believe that even when my body has returned to what is normal for me I will need to keep doing some work to deal with my past bad experiences.

 

Do check with your physician about exercise before you start if you're not already exercising to make sure it's okay. You don't need to do a lot just enough to get your heart rate up a bit.

 

I do wish you the best.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you very much for replying so fast.

 

Im sorry to hear it took quite a while for them to find whats going on with your heart.

 

And yes, working out bits by bits helped me aswell. I think after the 5 years I made peace with everything heart related. Afterall in this 5 years nothing big and bad happened. Plus if the same heartproblem occurs again they can fix it just as easy.

 

But now I'm worried about having PGAD then anything heart related.

[Theon]

You remind me really a lot to how I was before started taking antidepressants. I also used to google obsessively about every symptom (caused many times by my anxiety) that I had, and I believed I had many diseases that scared me to death. And I have been like this since I was 14, I am now 22.

 

At the end I was put on prozac,  last year for 3 months and this year for 4 months, and it "cured" my anxiety, but I have payed back my libido, my enthusiasm, deepness of my emotions, empathy feelings, romantic feelings... and more.

 

I also started going to therapy last year, which allowed me to know myself better and to learn strategies to cope (not to fight, its impossible to fight against anxiety) with the anxiety, and therapy does not have side effects!, unlike prozac...

 

But the thing that I think helped me most with anxiety was exercising, and the most tired you end up after exercising, the better. This way you won't feel like worrying so much afterwards

 

My recommendation is not to take medication for it, I regret a lot having taken prozac. i feel that I should have accepted my problem with anxiety, and live with it the best I could, rather than feel ashamed for it and medicate it.

 

I know it is not easy, but  by medicating it you can create other problems that might be worse than the original one.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you for replying!

 

Yes, I completely agree. The medicine last month completely broke me and made it all worse. Even when Im going in to therapy I dont want to take medication. Perhaps only something calming in time of need.

 

But we'll ser what it brings, I try to stay positive but its really hard sometimes. Especially when I have those stupid cramps which kind of stop me from doing things and getting out of the house.

[brassmonkey]

Hi LemonBerry-- Welcome to the group.  I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough time of it right now.  If I am reading your intro post correctly it looks like all the trouble stated when you CTed the Sertraline back at the first of the year.  The reaction you describe sounds like classic CTWD.  the doctors didn't help anything by putting you on and taking you off of several other mediations in the following months.  I can't really tell, are you taking anything right now or not?

 

This will help you understand what is happening;

 

What is withdrawal syndrome?

 

Why taper by 10% of my dosage?

 

Once we figure out what you're presently taking we can come up with a strategy to help stabilize things.

 

Thank you for filling in a signature block, it really helps us to see what is going on.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you very much.

 

I'm currently not taking anything because I don't want all the symptoms anymore. Just some Temazepam since a week to get my sleeping rythm back again, which We're quitting tomorrow.

 

I read through that information before I made an account but I do not see anything back that has a bit of the same symptoms as GPAD (perhaps it's me obsessing over such things again). I found a topic about it on this forum and it concerns me http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4587-persistent-genital-arousal-disorder-pgad/

[LemonBerry]

Plus in my subsciption (the JUL 2015 part) is the situation that happened like 3 weeks ago.

[Altostrata]

Welcome, LemonBerry.

 

It sounds to me like you are one of those people who have immediate bad reactions to antidepressants. It was medical error to keep putting you on them and increasing the dosage.

 

Are you still taking the Temazepam?

 

Many people do better with fish oil and magnesium supplements, see
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/
http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/
 

[LemonBerry]

Since I have a bad reaction to some medicine we are tapering Temazepam too so I take half a pill now (5mg).

 

The docter thinks the weird feelings down there and the cramps are hormones. Before all the antidepressants I took the birth control pill for 2,5 week to see if it balances out everything. I quit this because I was convinced all the muscle cramps came from that. I also have hot flashes sometimes, I feel like a woman in her menopause haha. Hopefully its just that my hormones are a mess and will gradually adjust again once Ive been on my period. I will look into the fishoil and I have magnesium supplements. Atleast that stuff cant do any harm .

[LemonBerry]

I followed your advice on the fishoil, I got it the same day and will start taking that from now on.

 

We went with my boyfriends car and my ****** felt like it was going through the roof. Im still scared I have PGAD/PSAS and that it will never go away. I'm not a sexual person at all. I still wanted to marry and have children. I'm scared its going to ruin the relationship with my boyfriend . I told my mom everything and she says its too soon to say I have it and schould talk about it with my psychiatrist. He will probably think I am some nymphomaniac with anxienty and top of it. Im scared they will lock me up because no one believes me and 'Its all in my head'

[LemonBerry]

This has been a rough week. I literally collapsed and fainted last night from anxiety and worry. So I took half Oxazepam because my muscles couldnt stop trembling.

 

I wish I never took the medication last month. I hope just talking and therapy can solve this because I do absolutely not want to take anti depressants.

 

I geuss this is withdrawal. And I do hope after bad days there will also come days where it goes slighly better. Only just a little bit is enough, slowly. Everytime I think it cant get any worse it does get worse.

[Altostrata]

See Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder (PGAD)

 

and these scientific journal articles

 

Goldmeier, 2009 Persistent genital arousal disorder: a re...

 

Leiblum, 2008 Persistent genital arousal disorder in women...

[LemonBerry]

First here is my introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9942-lemonberrythe-rollercoaster-of-medicine-and-anxiety/#entry179449

 

Since all the change in medicine the last 1,5 month I feel awful. I have diarhea everyday. I cant stop gagging (even puking sometimes) and I eat almost nothing. I lost alot of weight too. Might have developped PSAS/PGAD since the nervous tingling/burning sensation won't go away between my legs.

 

In my introduction post someone mentioned I quit the Sertraline CT in 2014. But I was on the lowest dose you can get here so there wasn't really much of an option.

 

Now what do I do. Do I reinstate the Sertraline or not? I'd like to get through this without medicine but I can't eat anymore and I don't sleep anymore.

 

Im scared I had Serotonin Syndrome from the escitalopram and that it's not even possible to reinstate an SSRI anymore. I really don't know what to do anymore, I'm getting weaker everyday, I do not want to die like this :'(!

[LoveandLight]

Someone will be along to help that has more experience. But in the tapering section there is info on how to disolve tablets and then take a small amount..also this is how it is recommended that people taper..and this way you can control the amount that to take down to 100 th of milligram even.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you.

 

The problem is I can't eat anymore and its getting worse daily. I used to love food and eat all the delicious things.

[LemonBerry]

I found something on the internet that really seems like my symptoms:

 

http://www.steadyhealth.com/topics/strange-and-persistant-tingling-in-the-clitoris-help?page=2

 

Anyone have an opinion or some advice on it?

[LemonBerry]

I'm still convinced I shouldn't go back on medication.

 

Tomorrow I have my first appointment for anxiety therapy, hopefully this will help. I heard good things about this facility, it focusses on the person itself and the history of a person and doesn't just brand a label on you.

 

And I won 5 lessons of meditation which I really like to try out. I read Mindfullness and meditation/yoga is a good way to cope with anxiety (and hopefully withdrawal symptoms aswell).

 

Now only to get my sleep back and to stop taking the Temazepam (I already reduced it from 10mg to 5mg now hopefully 2,5mg soon).

[Hopefull]

Hi Lemon Berry,

Welcome!

It sounds like you have developed PGAD from SSRI's.

Did you first experience it after Zoloft?

I had the PGAD symptoms when I took Zoloft and it did go away.

You are not alone in this and you are not imagining it.

So many people experience this symptom from AD'S, but yet it is considered "rare"!

It is probably more common than what you think.People are too embarrassed to report it to their doctor.

I definitely can relate to your story.

I used to have heart anxieties for at least 8 years, due to ectopic beats and palpitations. That is how my anxiety started. I understand what you are going through. You have had the surgery to fix the problem. We are not in control of what happens tomorrow.

You were so young when you started experiencing SVT's , it is obvious that you have been traumatized by this.

Hopefully you are seeing a good psycologist to work through your issues.

Best wishes, Hopefull.

[Hopefull]

Your PGAD symptoms are likely to go away.

Your are obviously very sensitive to AD'S.

Don't take anything and let your nervous system heal. It may or may not take a while for PGAD symptoms to go away.

[Altostrata]

LemonBerry, I moved your posts here. Your Intro topic is the place for those "what do I do now?" questions.

 

It sounds to me like you have bad reactions to antidepressants. Since you had a bad reaction to it before, I cannot see how going on sertraline will help.

 

Can you treat your stomach gently for a while? Perhaps eat just broth, purees, and smoothies? Maybe it will calm down.

 

Also, do what you can to calm your anxiety, this is probably making it worse. Some people find meditation to be helpful.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you!

 

I think the Temazepam made everything worse. And Im just feeding my anxiety by googling things. Like the Benzo Withdrawal Syndrome. Im scared to death now. I slept without Temazepam last night and with 5mg melatonin. I already went from 10mg Temazepam to 5mg and I took it for about 2 weeks. Im so scared I get a seizure or psychosis from this stupid medication. Why didnt she prescribe melatonin in the first place ...

 

The 'PGAD' is going much better. I think the stress just went between my legs so to say.

 

I see a pattern in my anxiety. I was panicking about PGAD that only made things worse there and now I panic about the Benzo withdrawal and the 'PGAD' things are getting less.

[bubble]

Can you add all the drugs you are taking, even occasionally, to your signature?

 

It's good that you recognised that you are increasing your own anxiety. The next step is to try and stop doing doing it Maybe a talk therapy would help.

 

We also have a benzo subsection here if you want to get a closer look at your benzo situation.

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/forum/29-members-only-benzo-forum/

 

It is extremely unlikely that you will get  seizure or psychosis but if you continue to google it, I'm sure you will find what you are fearing. There's everything on the internet. Good and bad.

[LemonBerry]

Thank you for the feedback.

 

Yes Im getting cognitive behavior therapy (if I spelled it correctly). And today is my first lesson in meditation.

 

And yes I know Im feeding my own anxiety and indeed I found the things I fear. I regret it so bad but I can't undo it and delete it from my memory.

 

I'm so frustrated and angry at the docters who threw in medication after medication which made a thing that was bad only worse.

 

And I will edit my signature but I threw out all the Benzo crap. You cant just buy that on the block here or get it from the docter so I can't and won't take those anymore.

 

I wish I had something to do during the day so I can get my mind of things. I help my mom in her clothing store but and hour already feels like ages.

[Altostrata]

How often were you taking the benzo? When did you throw it out?

[LemonBerry]

Daily for two weeks. First week 10mg and the 2nd week 5mg. I slept two nights without it now.

 

Since I took it, it went downhill with my anxiety. No wonder considering what kind of junk it is. Anxiety is pretty now since I stopped taking it.

[LemonBerry]

Anxiety is pretty bad is what I meant.

 

I can't edit on my phone

 

Neither can I edit my signature.

[LemonBerry]

Well I quit the benzo's completely but got troubles sleeping because of that ofcourse. Got a bad cold after that and my anxiety is peaking. I was so scared to get meningitis in the weekend and called the ER 6 times on one day. I feel so ashamed about that because I knew deep down that I was not going to get that.

 

The cold passed but I kept having troubles urinating. So I peed in a cup for the docter but I didnt have a UTI. But they'd let the bacteries grow (or something; outstanding english) and the next day it turned out I did have a UTI. I was completely shattered, I just survived the stupid cold and now Id have to survive the ABs (Anti Biotics). It went alright for a couple of days but the last day I was taking the ABs I had alot of pain in abdomen. Went to the ER again and they said it might be the UTI again but I still had a few more pills to take so I had to take those left. The next day the pain in my abdomen got worse so I went back to the ER again and this time the docter said it was caused by the ABs.

 

Things started to go even more downhill from there. On monday I went to my docter again because my abdomen hurt very bad and I kept vomiting and had diarhea. So they were gonna check the bacteries in my pee again. I went home and colapsed, mum took me to the docter and they checked for any infections but the values in my blood were fine. Later that day the pain got so severe we went to the ER again and they send me to the hospital. They checked my blood and pee again and everything was fine. They suspect a virus or IBS. A virus would make sense since I got that terrible cold 1,5 week ago. Weird that it got a little bit better before taking the ABs though and went bad after it again.

 

But its all going downhill with me. Im ridiculously scared all the time. The pain in my abdomen is less but I keep puking and have diarhea. My tongue is purple which scares me to death but the docter said it was from the ABs and she said it was very important to go to the psychiatrist. I know its important but I have the weirdest physical symptoms. It feels like Im going mad with the brainfog. I cant find words sometimes or I forget what day or month it is.

 

Its really hard to say if its from AD withdrawal or from the benzo's or from the UTI or that I have some weird other condition . My mind wont accept everything is going to be okay but instead is convinced Im going to die. I know a proper sleep is important but I keep fighting against sleep because Im scared I wont wake up the next morning.

 

These are the symptoms (not that I want an online consult put maybe someone recognizes it or has some idea to relieve the symptoms):

- Weak

- Weight loss

- Muscle twitches

- Puking

- Diarhea

- Dry eyes (Eyes get irritated by makeup or contacts)

- Thirsty feeling

- Dry Mouth (I drink 2+ liters a day)

- Sore hips

- Painful back

- Tense shoulders

- Brainfog/Panic/Confusion

- Stiff and sore hands

- Waves of Adrenaline

- Purple (ish) tongue

- Cold hands

- Cold feet

- Night sweats

 

The docters keep saying Im fine and I have nothing but why am I vomiting, have diarhea and have a purple tongue then :'(.

Im scared its something with my kidneys. Overall it feels like my body is failing me and Im a crazy wreck.

[tgirl]

HeyLemon Berry,

 

Have you tried some meditation or an Epsom bath?

 

What antibiotics did they give you for the uti?

 

Take a deep breath.

You will be fine.

Just give it some time.

 

Tgirl

[LemonBerry]

Thank you for your kind words <3

 

I had meditation lessons but the last lesson my concentration was so bad I panicked because of that. (Brainfog perhaps?) That wasnt relaxing at all .

 

The epsom bath or any bath at all sounds amazing but we only have a shower. I dont know any family members or friends with a bath either. We are all shower freaks.

 

I had nitrofurantoine. The weird thing is; if they do the fast test they find nothing but in the one day test they do find bacteria. So perhaps its not that severe but why does it hurt so much then.

 

I do know Im driving myself crazy. Thats why I cant keep my food inside an have diarhea. The ABs probably also did a number on my stomach and I already had acid reflux. I have Pantoprazol for that and I know its bad but thats a care for later. Im just scared to death I will develop sepsis from the UTI, thats the only thing on my mind 24/7 and the anxiety just paralyzes me. And the result from the specific urine test is monday. Until then Im stuck with heavy pain and this terrible anxiety.

 

Atleast tomorrow I have my first CBT appointment.

[LemonBerry]

Well the anxiety goes from Sepsis to Appendicitis. It's driving me insane.

 

In the hospital I wasn't that scared and my mom noticed I was more relaxed. Kind of weird to relax in a hospital... :|

[LemonBerry]

Sorry that Im posting so much but I kind of want to get it all out.

 

I got panic attacks alot today with hyperventilation . (Atleast I got some kind of labyrinth box to breath in (Hyperfree: http://www.alfaco.nl/files/nlalfaco/image/hyperfree-hyperventilatie.png). Certainly not trying to advertise here but its a great thing to use if you dont want to breath in a plastic bag.) I know I have anxiety yet my mind won't accept its just anxiety. Its really hard to deal with.

 

I cant sleep at all tonight. I keep sweating like crazy while Im cold. I measured my temperture but I dont have a fever. Why are so many anxiety symptoms the same symptoms as from infections... Since I got the UTI and the abdomen pain I cant stop panicking about infections. They checked my blood monday and there were no signs of infections. That should calm my mind atleast in some way but it doesn't. Im scared it developped in the meanwhile.

 

When I lay down under the blankets I start sweating like crazy while Im cold. When I breath in the box thingie the sweating gets less, its obvious its panic then. Yet still in my mind I think Im dieing of some infectious disease.

 

I wish it would get better soon. Im so done with all the anxiety. I want to do fun things with my family and boyfriend again.

 

While I am typing this my cat is peacefully snoozing on her cat bed and softly snoring. Im jealous :$

[LemonBerry]

Are there any meds or remedies safe to use to help against anxiety and stress? I can't really take it anymore, it feels like my brain is suffocating :'(.

[LemonBerry]

This was a terrible week. I spend 5 days in a Crisis Centre and had to take Oxazepam again for 4 days. Because I was convinced I had madcow disease and had suicidal thoughts. Now they put me back on Sertraline 10mg bit the anxiety got even worse. I feel extremely weak and it feels like my blood pressure is extremely low.

[starburst]

Hi LemonBerry it sounds like you are having a hard time with anxiety. You must remember that a lot of what you are suffering is probably due to WD symptoms. On top of that it is possible, in my opinion, to scare yourself silly by 'googling' symptoms. I know because I have done it myself  If you can recognise that what you are going through  is anxiety and not a genuine health concern then it will make dealing with the issue easier. Instead of googling symptoms you would be better off looking at some of the links here to things that might possibly help you cope better with the anxiety. I find that by accepting it as a weakness and letting it run its course it is easier for me to deal with in the long run. When I fight it and start googling all the symptoms I feel, well that is what led me to the ER on more than one occasion. 

 

Some things that I find helpful are Magnesium. I take two doses a day in a glass of water. It could be placebo but by convincing myself that it helps I genuinely feel better after taking it. Here is a link to the thread on Magnesium http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1300-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ Ialso take 2000 IUG fish oil every day and there are quite a few studies that show that it helps with depression and anxiety. Here is the link to the thread of Omega 3 http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/ Mylatest 'health find' is Vitamin C which I have only just started taking so I can't tell you whether or not I feel the benefits of that just yet. Here is the link to the thread of Vitamin C http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/40-vitamin-c-ascorbic-acid-or-ascorbate/ Ialso will be adding Vitamin D to my list of supplements Here is the link to information about Vitamin D  http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/39-vitamin-d3-cholecalciferol-or-calcitriol/toy . All these things are not miracle cures but they may or may not help you to cope better.  Distraction is another tool that I use. For me it is surfing the internet, usually Youtube and looking at vlogs of people following a healthy diet, losing weight , anything like that interest me. Or sometimes I might go in the garden and start doing a few chores. I find it better to stay at home when I am at my worst but one thing I don't do it focus on how I feel, I focus on distracting myself from how I feel. I also bought an adult colouring book this week and have enjoyed spending time working on that. I actually find that quite meditative which is good because I do find complete meditation difficult when anxiety arises. It is good once I get in to the pattern but it takes me a while to calm down enough to reach

that stage. Here is a link to the thread about non drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1112-non-drug-techniques-to-cope-with-emotional-symptoms/

 

I really wish you all the best. Things will get better, trust me, when I was at my worst with anxiety I never thought it would. Take care of yourself. Try an Epson Salt bath, go for a massage, anything that will help calm you. 

 

[LemonBerry]

Thank you very much, this is really sweet of you.

 

Deep in my mind I know it's just anxiety but there is always a 'what if' in the back of my mind. It's kind of silly and frustrating. Even reading back here I can see I thought I had numerous diseases and it changes daily on what disease it is. 

 

So I decided I will not continue to take the Setraline I took for the last 3 days. I really set my mind on eating healthy and taking the fishoil supplements. But that again might also change the next couple of days. At the moment I'm kind of stuck in a 'flight' state, I can't sit still, stop fidgeting and can't seem to relax. 

 

I will try to be hopefull, pamper my body and tell myself to be patient so it will get better one day.