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  2. I wouldn't. When you get to the really low doses the changes in the brain are much more profound. Everyone gets the temptation to go faster when things are going well, the important part is resisting the urge. I would go down to at least 0.1mg before considering jumping.
  3. I need to recover my spirit, my morale, my passion, my energy, all that I lost at the hospital, in 2017, and that got replaced by that false synthetic mental and emotional state.
  4. Today
  5. bastringue

    bastringue: Is my tapering strategy good?

    Hi, I have a question. I'm going on with the Brassmonkey method and am now down to 9.8 mg duloxetine and 0.8 mg amitryptiline. My question is concerning amitryptiline: would it be safe to go from 0.8 mg to 0 faster than what was expected? It's kind of pretty low dose. Or what about simply going on until 0.5 mg and then stopping?
  6. How do I walk and cook and do when we have this kind of pain . And terror . ? I was cooking and starting to clean and shower and I was even going to get my hair done . And then this zyorexa . And I couldn’t . I started to a little and then I got scared and panicked and Frustrated. And tired of waking w little sleep w burning brain . And all of it . Mom knows . She’s been helping me and she’s been here every day almost . But feels so helpless . It hurts her so much . Becaise I am not this person and I have gone through just too much . And I will not go on medicine again ever
  7. LostInCanada

    Jami: need help and advice

    @Jami this is an iatrogenic illness. An illness caused by doctors and drugs. It is no less than any other illness and maybe worse because there is no protocol on dealing with it. But the fact is you will heal and you have validation here. You have to be strong and think positively. Many have been worse and healed. You will too. Find things that are positive and distracting. Reading, games, cooking, a walk, music, write in a journal, anything.
  8. Congratulations on healing and being med free! Huge achievement! Hibari
  9. Thanks SurreyGuy. I hope your journey is going well..
  10. @Onmyway im so sorry to hear this. It really does knock the wind out of you, esp frusterating when it comes out of no where. Sending positive vibes your way.
  11. Still considering tapering up, especially when I have "bad" days - I had initially reinstated thinking I could live a little bit of a normal life for the wedding festivities but joke was on me for that. On the bright side, I can say that I haven't needed alcohol to have fun - which is a god send. Sometimes I do feel othered when out with friends and everyone else is drinking, but 90% of the time, I'm really fine in those situations. Leaving a note for myself mostly as I did try a few sips of people's beverages on Friday night of my bachelorette party, just to taste them, etc. I just sipped on a mocktail, and truly just tasted the other drinks, didn't take a large sip or anything. That night i felt SO ACTIVATED. I'd heard people describe this and honestly just thought they were much more sensitive or something, but after not having a drink since December 31st, a night that sent me into awful waves for a few weeks, I recognized the feeling right away. It was like my body and eyes were tired, and it was well past my normal bedtime, but my brain felt so alert and like it kept waking me up all night when I had fallen asleep. Truly a wild experience, and while it was uncomfortable, I'm also glad I had it because it reminded me I'm much too sensitive for anything like that for the time being, and also that I don't need it to have fun. I never thought i'd be living a sober life. I wouldn't say I was a lush or anything, especially not over the last 3 years, and I realllllly cut back my drinking once my partner went to grad school, but I still thought we'd enjoy wine together or a cocktail out occasionally - my father owns a liquor store! But after this experience with WD, it's just not worth it at all, and being sober is actually not as boring as I'd imagined it would be.
  12. Psychiatry desordered my mind so much, all what I've doing these past 3 years is reorder my mind and readjusting to the true reality. I just needed to be heard, seen, understood, validated, when I was at the hospital, before and after. Psychiatry destroyed my morale in the hospital, vicitmizing and traumatizing me and at the same time drugged me, deceiving me and my mind, creating this huge mental and emotional chaos, it is all so cruel. What I need to do to finish my recovery process is to finally accept is that my original problem never got away. But the good news is that I can fix my original problem, it always has been fixable, I just lacked the external social, moral and emotional support to do it.
  13. Lost in Canada … please god . ! I can’t breathe . I think I’m going crazy ! I think I’m going crazy . I have been so f gaslit from eveyone . And told so many things . And I have been through so much trauma w this . And it makes me doubt this ! It makes me doubt it when I wake up burning alive . I think I may take a clonidine . I can’t calm it down ! Omg . I’m sorry ! I can’t call down . I wish there was someone that can take me by the hand and say jami , please , this is wds and it always has been and I won’t suffer for life :! But my mom is dealing w my sister has stage four cancer . And my dad didn’t want to believe me . And I haven’t spoken to him in almost a year ! Parents aren’t married anymore . And I can’t call my sister the one person that I always called ! And I can’t be there for her Becaise I don’t know how to take care of myslef w this . What I’m the hell happemed here . I am sorry I will let u go now . Thank u do much for being here for me all day long !
  14. mariamisery

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Yes losing my mind. When I say quiet I mean I am not jumping off walls but body feels like it wants to. This is a new feeling just today. So difficult to navigate.Trying to distract. I was not built for this
  15. LostInCanada

    Jami: need help and advice

    The best thing you can do is heal. Don't change the Prozac. Be resolved to stay the course. Try to do some CBT. There are many free online courses as well as books at the library. Look at Claire Weekes Help and Hope for your nerves. Listen to some of her YouTubes. You are definitely dealing with WD. Now just heal. It takes acceptance, patience, kindness and time.
  16. BaccatePlayer

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Like I said you don't even need to fall asleep. Even if you just lied down and spend a while with closed eyes this frees your brain from a few processes like coordination, walking, interpreting seen images. Anxiety may even be omnipresent because you know that inside you there is a constant change. Changing and adapting into something new is mysterious. You are tense and alerted because this is one of the states your body can be in and your CNS is yet to figure out when it should be and when not. Sentesized system simply overreacts. Maybe you were in a crowd room lately and it's a delayed response, maybe you were feeling lonely but didn't notice, maybe you thought of your last wave and your mind tried to fixate in it hoping it'll figure out a way to prevent it. It's a valid feeling, accept it because like you said "this is something new" and we naturally are scared of something we don't control or recognize. Good luck!
  17. This is a worthy topic. I am currently finding it difficult to tread the right path between “looking after myself” - taking time out from work, taking care not to exhaust myself, avoiding the news which tends to fuel these awful feelings of being unsafe, avoiding social situations that might be difficult etc - and living my normal life. I do not think it is at all healthy to identify with the condition. I sometimes wonder if I would regard myself as being essentially better - but with difficult periods still - if I hadn’t learned about PWS. Perhaps I would be living a far more expansive life again by now. On the other hand, not knowing about it in the past has kept me on the ADs for years and has nearly landed me with additional diagnoses and more medication. I would strongly encourage people not to identify with their PWS as best they can. I think this includes be wise about how you use this excellent forum.
  18. BaccatePlayer

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    This is a bit complicated cause it may mean many things. Feeling like you're gonna collapse? Yes, it's common. You may be feeling so week that you couldn't believe you are still standing. Feeling like you are dying? Yes, I was sure this will happen during first panic attack and at some point before falling asleep. But you mentioned feeling like you're going mad, so I suspect you mean "losing it" as "losing control over yourself". This may be on the depersonalization spectrum or you feel your thoughts keep narrowing and you can't access something in your mind, like forcefully being expelled from some paths in your mind. I experienced all of it and yes, it is powerful enough so that you feel you wouldn't be able to break past it. Quiet? Depends on severity. Mines were not quiet, but these are normal emotional rockets during recovery and will neither harm you nor stay like that forever.
  19. mariamisery

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Thank you...if only my body would allow me to nap. I am envious of you. You are right no matter how horrible it is. This too shall pass. Why am I having anxiety now and did not have it initially,? Wish I was as insightful as you.
  20. BaccatePlayer

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Yes dear, it is recovering organism that's playing tricks on you. There are three planes you should track now: 1) Anxiety - Spend time on a relaxation technique. It doesn't seem intuitive, but it's never a bad idea to just trust that it will help. You may not even realize you are in agitated state, but accepting your feelings and putting it into perspective will definitelly make it less bothersome. Decelerate your body with a bath, massage or something like progressive muscle relaxation and then clear your mind. If it runs fast, cortisol and adrenaline will be running fast too. 2) Alienation - This may not be a clear variant of depersonalization or derealization, but feeling impending insanity building up in you throws you away from current real life and puts you into doubts regarding your actual health. To counter it, you should focus on something familair, ideally closest people because things are simply less engaging and not very interactive. Tell them that you feel lonely and want to feel included. If you don't have anyone reliable nearby, connect with a cat or start praying. If this is also not your thing, DM someone who really pays attention to your words, understands you and makes you feel listened. Point is, let yourself be a participant and observe how your actions and words are logical and make perfect sense, so you don't feel crazy. 3) Rumminations - Don't sit in front of it trying to solve it. You may be too deep into such mood. Go to bathroom, pour warm water on your face, then colder one, then some more warmer one and find some shocking statement you may be missing. Maybe you forget it will pass, maybe that it's harmless, maybe that there's always an option. You have so many things to think about: games, cartoons, sports, movies, imagining you are a dancer or imagining you're singing in front of a crowd or imagining you're having a conversation with someone you were infatuated in when you were younger. Anything that opens up your thinking. Also, it may take some time before it eases. Remember that you can always take a nap and "quick sim" even 10-40 minutes this way which may make a difference. Even if you don't actually fall asleep you may wake up with some new thoughts that will be easier to navigate.
  21. mariamisery

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Thank you. I also just posted that it makes me feel like I am losing it. Have you experienced that? It is a quiet but powerful sensation.
  22. I am sorry to hear you have been back in a wave. You are very strong and will get through this.....just keep holding on. I am thinking of you and sending good thoughts your way.
  23. BaccatePlayer

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    I had a phase of such pain. Unbearable and oddly interconnected with panic. I suspect these are moments of low serotonin because that's usually source of pain, but you may as well be going through some big shift and there's a strong signal your brain doesn't know how to interpret, so it confuses it with pain. My advice is try to sleep through it or spend peaks of such pain on listening to podcasts aimed at reducing anxiety and panic. It's best to have prepared guide because under such burden you will struggle with coming up and ordering proper cues. Hyperalerted mind also reacts better to external commands. It's really one of the more disturbing symptoms, you don't know where the pain comes from, most likely from the brain but it overwhelms you fully as if just being was painful. Ideally, don't think during such moments, put yourself into the void of thoughts, this pain doesn't make sense and you won't find a good response to it even though it feels like calling for some action. Thank you, sweetheart! Yes, it is exactly like that and can catch you off guard anytime. I noticed messing with neurotransmitters makes it worse, so working out, sexual activity, intense music and huge amplitudes of sugar levels may sharpen this pain further.
  24. I feel si ‘ I was just reading this nice womens post . And she said that if the dr tells u u have Lyme u prob do . But it sounds like wds ? And I am screaming . I am screaming so loud . I’m in such a panic . Becaise I can’t rest . And I can’t take it anymore ! It’s been too much for me . And scary ! Omg ! I’m sorry ! Omg ! The phyc dr just called me and he said to me that he will refer me to someone else for my scripts . Becaise I don’t want to see him anymore Becaise he said that Becaisw I have chronic pain it causes anxiety ! That’s not what happened to me ! I never had chronic pain before this past 4 years ! I never had this pain . And suffering . And I can’t stop thinking of bad things . That’s wrong w me . And I just feel so alone here ! Scared . To death that I won’t be normal again ! That I will go through this pain for ever ! I don’t even look like me anymore ! God ! I’m sorry
  25. Psychiatry destroyed my morale in the hospital, brutally oppressing and alienating me, deeply traumatizing me, then drugged me and chemically improved my mood, making me feel, think and believe that I had left my moral, emotional and social problem and struggle behind, that I had finally overcomed it. But I never really got over it, I just was chemically disconnected and deceived suffering medical spellbinding. My perception of reality, personality and identity were all chemically distorted without me realizing it. I resisted accepting all this as much as I could, been in denial. But since 2023 couldn't no more, my true feelings and emotions became too intense and reality too overwhelming too keep ignoring them, this is exactly what happens when we are not drugged, we are forced to face reality and our real problems. Psychiatry desordered my mind so much, all what I've doing these past 3 years is order my mind.
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