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  2. After so much time feeling so ashamed and guilty trapped in this "immorality" mental and emotional nightmare that psychiatry made a chronic condition I just forgot how to do live differently.
  3. Yes, we are sane and we don't want to lose. Succumbing to suffering is not our natural direction. Symptoms skewing our perception makes it confusing sometimes, but our self-preserving nature doesn't die even if we feel so. Yes, it is so powerful that it smoothly blinds us. Recovery takes months for most of us, it takes over our everyday routines and concerns, so don't blame yourself for being lost in it cause we mostly are. I know that. Sometimes I read my old thoughts and think to myself "but how can I even believe this now?" which is our constant change and processing tempo delay that makes it so distant. But you are in all pieces, nothing is lost. You're on the right track and will come back stronger.
  4. The trapped sensations as you termed comes from out of nowhere? Besides making you feel awful it slows you down. Almost like the body is saying keep still because I am healing. You posting often seems very therapeutic for you as for me. You will one day emerge an even more powerful version of oneself.
  5. Many people would benefit from redefining themselves. Being labeled as "patient" in psychiatry borders on being offensive. What's human in us, what's individual is sacred, it's natural gold that makes us the centre of living. Invalidating that legally by psychiatrists bends the morality definition to dangerous levels. Someone who went through abuse can react in various ways and doctors judging these people by calling them "disordered" feels like it's wrong for you to seek your own way out. We deserve to be honest with ourselves.
  6. Doctorsrcrap

    Vitamin defiency

    I'm not on any any more but I took a lot of different rubbish
  7. I went back on courtem and bolouke suppliments today . 🤷‍♀️. Omg ! I am having a nervous breakdown ! I’m sorry ! I’m so scared and so lost !
  8. Wanted to share this with the community. It’s for Benzo withdrawals, but SSRI withdrawals are no different. The concept makes sense. All the other ones are fine, the agmatine theory is only tested on rats. So I won’t blindly trust that. Although, I’ve heard anecdotal evidence from people that it worked for them. Caution is advised with any of this. Treat this is as educational.
  9. Yes P5P and Niacinamide took care of it. Roughly 5 days to see an initial bump in improvement on the physical side, but took about 4-6 weeks to see the significant mental turmoil improvements. At 3 week mark my DP/DR was gone. I have other sensory symptoms that are still there, but many went away.
  10. @LostInCanada Can you guide how can we update signature??
  11. Atmospheric pressure goes lower and lower here. I'm not the only one in my house to complain about headaches, but my cognition and mood are pretty much my only symptoms now. Head is still hot, but nowhere intense burning or anything. Heartbeat fluctuates and sometimes it even pinches, but I can tolerate that. Actually, it could be all mood, because it's more like I feel like I don't process things quickly enough, but nothing I do, say or decide indicates I had issues with it. At least this is not the drunk sight or brain overload with chemical changes feeling I talked about in previous weeks. I was talking about memory issues, but seems like it's more of distractability or just losing train of thought if something interrupts me, however if I try hard enough nothing is forgotten, just lost from immediate sight. The "trap sensation" I was mentioning seems to be transforming into something or is about to disappear, because I don't have wierd thoughts in fact, I just have thoughts or levels of awareness that trigger wierd mood states. They're very disturbing right now but nothing I could do with it. It feels like my mind suddenly drowning in paint, a while later like in mud etc. Basically feeling extremely alien, but hugely on the chemical side. My digestion and waking up for a day is still slowed down, so I may be in a wave. Panic and anxiety got replaced with thoughts of going insane and wierdness on incredible scale. Since I eventually stopped having those unbearable pain outbursts, I hope I'll soon stop having all the depersonalization/derealization states or their variants. Forum page says there needs to be certain amount of receptors to stop having it, so maybe it's a matter of following weeks. I wish someone told me "Yes, Tomasz you are absolutely right. It's so close that you'll start feeling yourself more and more and then it will just be building up tolerance for stress and you're recovered!" but who can predict if that is the case. I started telling myself during the worst moments that it's not as bad as my future self will remember it and I think it helps. I remind myself that I'm not insane and that I'm still somehow managing this moment just so I won't be traumatized by getting back to it with my thoughts later on. I'd take a year of severe depression and anxiety in my recovered body over a month of regular functioning in this one, but such thinking won't change my situation now. When these "another dimension experiences" end and nothing worse replaces it, I will be very close to recovery. It's been 47 days since I experienced first depersonalization attack, my thoughts start to look like my regular thoughts would look like, but these forced mood clouds I'd give anything to go away. Some people consider other meds... I already call my symptoms unbearable, so how bad would they be had I taken something now? Definitelly wouldn't take a risk. Trauma is the subject I touched upon lately. I wondered why it's only my mom that I feel safe with, but honestly when I look at my relationship with my sister or dad, no wonder why it's like this. I couldn't spend time alone lately because I never trusted myself that I will take care of myself. Now it's all pronounced. See the trauma link? It's all there, my dreams, my habbits, just felt through some adapter because there's a wound my CNS tries to repair, but my experiences show what I'm made of for real. I feel strange because I'm lonely, because I was the popular kid at school who had it all, but wanted even more and then lost everything. Plenty of reasons to feel bad, now withdrawal is only showing this in confused signals like depersonalization or brain burning. I was thinking of posting daily routines, but I guess this is more suitable when some is tapering. I have a clear situation now: no meds and trying to stabilize on that. Came across some phrases like "crashing" or "holding", but seems like I don't need to know what that is, I just should be improving now because nothing is hindering that unless I overstress myself. I never really felt the recovery since I had that adverse reaction, but I guess this is expected. Basically at no point I felt myself, there was always some fog or layer on my body, my nerves, how I felt my thoughts and even my sight. It kept changing, but never got back to normal so far. I feel artificial and like walking on prosthetic aparature but instead of walking it's feeling of self. And not in emotional sense, I feel emotionally fine, but literally like in a different body. Like swallowing with a sore throat. I try not to stress about this, but I really want my "brain skin" back soon.
  12. I feel as if I’m loosing my mind . And I never had a mental illness . And I feel like I just don’t think I can continue this way ? And I have to take these Lyme meds just in case ? And they are very powerful drugs . So I can’t go to a hospital because they don’t know wds . And they also don’t know Lyme . So how do I do this ? Please god someone tell me how to do this.
  13. Today
  14. Onmyway

    Vitamin defiency

    Withdrawal I haven't heard to cause it. Drug treatment I am not sure - it has to depend on the drug and whether they compete for absorption with the specific vitamin. When you open your drug box, there is a leaflet there. Do you see the leaflet mention that about your drug? OMW
  15. We just need moral support, not to be fixed, nor drugs. That's the lie we've been told, that there is something wrong with us, abnormal, disordered, immoral, ill, that needs to be "treated". We are not broken and humans are perfectly capable of healing themselves naturally and finding homeostasis.
  16. I was tapering on a 1 ml siringe . And I was dropping literally a small notch of it . Per every few weeks . And then at the end I was literally on a notch and I came off one week after I got down to that really low notch . Mabe I should have held longer . But when came off I had Parkinsonism shakes and I had brain tremors and leg jerks . Burning skin and brain . Which I am getting now . And joints and muscles . And sweats and chills . And muscles spams . And this feeling of tight throat and pulling . And I am so scared right now because I don’t even know how to go on this forum and look at this . Or who I am even talking to right now ? But I just started the antimalarias again . Becaise I don’t know for sure if it’s wds or Lyme or both ? I had Lyme 19 years ago . And then in 21 when I came off klonapin I had it again . Came out from me being in wds . And I treated it and treated it . And then 6 months ago my dr Lyme dr told me that I had 3 tick born illness and we have to treat ? But he doesn’t want to know about wds ? And he doesn’t want to understand this and the confusion . So I stopped Becaise my nervous system felt like it couldn’t handle the meds . And now I am still having symptoms. And when I look up Lyme and I look up wds they are exactly the same ? So how do u know . Or can rest in peace with knowing what’s happening ? Cause no one understands wds ? No dr ? No one . But the groups . And my mom is the one here for me . I’m 47 and for the past 4 years I have been through just enough . My sister is 50 and has been battling stage four cancer . And we are all so close and got bad news yesterday . And mom can’t handle the stress from me and my sister . At the same time ? And I feel like I don’t know how to do this anymore ? What to belive ? Who to trust . It’s just terror wvwey single day because I have these horrific symptoms. But the fear and stress over what to do is killimg me . I was a model and actress a bartender social butterfly. To beimg house bound now for almost 4 years . And I don’t want to do this anymore ! I’m sorry for messaging this long message but I feel like I am having a breakdown from everything !
  17. Doctorsrcrap

    Vitamin defiency

    I wasn't sure if the drugs themselves can cause it
  18. Onmyway

    Vitamin defiency

    Not seen anywhere that vitamin deficiency can result from withdrawal. Likely you are not getting the right vitamins from your diet.
  19. LostInCanada

    Jami: need help and advice

    So you were on Zyprexa 15 months correct? What was the amount of your last dose? How often did you drop the dose and by what percentage? So you were on Valium for 14 months ? What exact date did you stop and what was the amount of your last dose? How often did you drop the dose and by what percentage? Your body is used to this drug and it shouldn't be causing a problem. When did you do this and what are the names of the drugs. Please use the search icon and put Lyme in the search bar. Others on here have dealt with Lyme disease as well. It is a hard journey but please be assured you will be okay and heal. Breathe, be accepting, be kind to yourself.
  20. Restlessness, electrical sensations in my body, panic
  21. I have tapered off zyprexa 2.5 mlg was only on it a month and then tapered last year . I tapered it for 14 months . Liquid . And stopped on tiny dose liquid 5 and half weeks ago . I tapered valume liquid also for 12 months and was only on it about 2 months and I had bad wds also . And 6 months 1 week off . I have Pgad which I had coming off many meds . And I am worried that the Prozac might be making it worse as I continue to take it ? I hope I am posting in the right area . I am scared that I still have Lyme or something and there is no accurate testimg Becaise I had it in the past . So they go by symptoms? and that is scarying me to death because these symptoms are so same . ? As Lyme ? So I don’t know what to do ? I’m at a loss . Feeling alone and scared : with what to do ? The Lyme dr says it Lyme but then they don’t know wds either ? So I went back on antimalarias thinking this could be Lyme ? I’m so confused . Def had bad bad wds from all meds I had taken .
  22. Dahlia50

    Dahlia50: Reducing Zoloft

    Thanks @Jaffa for kind words 🙏
  23. LostInCanada

    Jami: need help and advice

    @Jami hi am welcome to SA. You sure have been through a lot. If you use the search icon and put pgad, you will find much information on this and its connection with withdrawal. I can see you attempted to do a drug signature but just ended up posting it on your thread. I would copy that info and then click on your name, then account, then account settings, then settings area and then signature. Then paste your info and save. ♥️ It would be great if you could add specific dates and tapering dosages. Your central nervous system is trying to heal still from the previous tapers. Please do not try to taper yet. You need to be pretty much symptom free to start the Prozac taper. You may be experiencing withdrawal from the Benzo or zyprexa and this needs to settle. Exactly how long were you on zyprexa and how did you taper off, dates and dosages. A very tiny reinstatement might help but we need a bit more information. Thanks 😊
  24. mariamisery

    mariamisery: Can I survive this withdrawal?

    Hi . You are so strong. If anybody can get through this. You will definitely do well. It is so challenging for me with the feelings. I don't understand it at all. This trapped sensation I can't explain. What is going on in my body. This is all that's really left. Why want it leave😌
  25. I couldn't realize all this while I was drugged, I needed to quit and reconnect with the emotional reality of my life.
  26. Hello, Yes, they have calmed down a bit, so it all doesn’t feel so intense and overwhelming. Now, I feel as though its present, but manageable for now. I just feel a bit flat.
  27. @Nocturna, @RachelSusan, @arbor Thank you so much for taking time out for writing for Pearl and sorry for not responding earlier. Yes I am doing board games also with her but she has actually never liked board games before as well. Plus her focus stays only for 10-15 mins at a time no matter what we try. By God's grace the wave passed in 4 days and she is sleeping well again. Fear is also almost vanished. Somewhere in this wonderful site it is mentioned that we get waves when the healing is happening in some part of the brain and then we get windows. I actually experienced it with Pearl. After this recent wave which passed just 2 days before, she has started reading her course books again💓 Although she is able to focus only for 10 minutes at a time but this is something beginning after almost 1.6 years of not doing anything related to school. And we did not ask her or push her to do it. She simply got up, went to her bookcase and started taking books out and reading 😀 Cheers to our battles and such little victories 🥳 Love and blessings for all of us here 💕
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