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It's great you can get sun. I'm so sorry you're in such pain. I can't imagine it. Are you able to exercise to the point where you'd get some endorphins? They're the body's own painkillers. But if you're very reactive these days more intense exercise than you're used to might destabilise you, for all I know, so the key is to ease into it. If you haven't already, I'd ask for a referral to a pain clinic and also read up on pain. A few years ago I had nagging, minor chronic pain -- nothing as bad as yours -- and I was looking forward to a possible surgery with a particularly long and painful recovery. Here are the links I started collecting in case I needed them. Pain clinic useful resources https://www.nbt.nhs.uk/our-services/a-z-services/pain-clinic-services/pain-clinic-useful-resources Living with chronic pain https://www.uhbristol.nhs.uk/patients-and-visitors/your-hospitals/other-services-in-bristol/pain-clinic/what-is-pain/living-with-chronic-pain/ Rethinking What Causes Pain: Psychological Treatment Shown To Yield Strong, Lasting Pain Relief https://scitechdaily.com/rethinking-what-causes-pain-psychological-treatment-shown-to-yield-strong-lasting-pain-relief/ Perceived choice in music listening is linked to pain relief https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/08/220803141240.htm Nostalgia relieves pain https://scitechdaily.com/nostalgia-can-relieve-pain-viewing-images-from-childhood-reduces-pain-perception/ An Update on Cognitive Therapy for the Management of Chronic Pain: a Comprehensive Review https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/31292747 Much of the above is about psychological approaches to managing pain. That's not to say the pain isn't real, but we feel pain more intensely when we're psychologically or physically distressed. But when we turn down the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight system) we reduce pain intensity. That's not as easy as taking a pill but it helps and it's safe.

@Tom2020 Yes I walk a lot so no reason I wouldn't get sun exposure

You don't need to thank me, friend. 🥰 I am happy to support you in any way that I can. You are NOT alone. If I can suggest a few YouTube videos.. Baylissa is amazing and so incredibly knowledgeable. Her videos are calming. Angie Peacock is a badass survivor as well and has great videos. I also love Michael Priebe of the Lovely Grind. You've got this @Dahlia50!!!!! Look at how many days you've gotten through. You are doing amazing! Reach out anytime.

@EdaB Hi there, friend. I am so sorry that you are having a difficult time tapering the Ativan. I did not taper Ativan. I was cold turkeyed by a Psychiatrist. If you go back and read my intro bio, you will read that I am still on Klonopin. I will be tapering that drug last. I am not in a position to help guide you through the tapering process but the mods on this site are. I have no idea which mod @KenA but I am sure Ken could help you find one that can help guide you safely. I am here if you ever need support as are A LOT of other beautiful souls on this site. Remember, this is temporary. You WILL heal. EVERYONE heals. I will be praying for you.

800IU isn't even that much. Thanks for the extra details. It's useful to document these things in case other people have a similar situation. Are you able to get enough sun in the summer?

Do you have a link? I'm interested! Even if it's it's in french... Thank you!

Thanks everyone for your reply. I have already published my paper on radio-canada.ca at the end of February. So I am not looking anymore. Good luck to all of you in your attempt to withdraw antidepressants. Julie

Here is my update after being off of Mirtazapine for 4 months. I continue to feel solid post taper and I am grateful. * My frozen shoulder is better and I'm getting more range of motion. About 75% healed. * Still sleeping between 5-8 hours a night, though it's hard to drop off most nights. I continue to take Magnesium Glycinate to relax me and sometimes L-theanine. * My mood remains good. Remaining Symptoms * Had a cold for the first time in years. Recovering. * Still feel some fatigue but am walking more. Plan to rejoin my gym in a few weeks. * Might have lost a little med weight but stil out of shape. * Have a low grade hissing/tinnitus in my ears that I hope will fade. Had it with benzo withdrawal too. Overall I feel positive about my post withdrawal recovery. Will post more updates next month. Hibari

@Tom2020 No different types each time. First one was 800iu daily from doctor prescription. This time was 400iu from a supplement. There were no added ingredients either. It just seems a bit to uncanny to me. But I dunno anymore

If you read through this thread, you may find some in your city to reach out to, etc

I think stress definitely predisposes us to bad reactions but even so that's a remarkably strong reaction to vitamin D. Given it happened both times I doubt it was a coincidence. Did you take the same brand and dose of vitamin both times? If you're only a little deficient in D it's not something to worry about.

@Deano32 Hi, just wanted to say I can relate to how hard this is. Also do not understand how it’s possible these drugs can cause all these inhumane symptoms. Hope we heal and get some relief 🌿

That's my story. I am still in the middle of it. I reinstated too high at 5 mg but then tried 10 mg and that was a disaster so after 3 days I went back to 5 mg. I had been off the drug completely for 3 months. I was suicidal and suffering from dp/dr, no joy, no emotion. The reinstatement helped with the big issues. Stabilizing took at least 6 months. My system is very sensitive and tapering is a slow crawl. I do not think it would be wise to add any drug to your sensitized CNS. You will heal. It will be a long journey. But adding a drug will probably make it worse and lengthen the healing process. Neither of our situations are ideal. Gratitude and being positive go a long way to helping direct your precious energy into healing. I too couldn't smile or laugh. It is still a struggle when I am in a wave. I read somewhere when you see your reflection force a smile. So I did and it helped. I honestly think we have to retrain ourselves to do it. I couldn't read, watch tv, converse but it has improved immensely. I have to be very selective in what I watch or read. It is a matter of carving out a life with the things you can do and not concerning yourself with the things you can't do at this time. Eventually we will heal completely. Kindness and acceptance will aid that. Honestly I wish I could have made it through without reinstatement but I am here now and that's okay too. You're got this. Others' examples have shown us that we will survive and thrive.

@Sonia009 Yes it is, terrible. Hug to you.

@Tom2020 I was in a stressful job which we thought was the cause but i had been doing it a little while. It just seems odd 2015 I was fine took vit d 4 days later bam antidepressant and propranalol prescribed. Took vit d this time few days later all the symptoms I had last time Could be a coincidence

@LotusRising Yes definitely i was totally fine after ct in 2021 .not even single withdrawal.

What was your health like before you took the vitamin D in 2015? Could anything else (drugs, supplements, stress, illness...) in the months before have contributed to your reaction?

Today I've had a horrible migraine type headache, probably brought on by crying and stressing too much. I nursed my husband through his TIA, spent sleepless nights with him, went through his mental health issues, but now the tables have turned somewhat I get no empathy from him, just "you've got to make more of an effort" reaction. He is going through withdrawal too but won't even accept it. I realise that I must get well again so that I can reconfigure my future. Sorry to rant but I have no one else to talk to and I just wanted to make the point of how cruel and devastating this whole withdrawal process is and how these drugs ruin lives.

You there? How are things today?

@LotusRising I have one question how can i stable on paxil when my aka had started after few pills?? Thank you so much .i really need your all help

@ThreeLittleBirdsHi, just wanted you to know that I can relate to your symptoms, I too am going through similar. It's a nightmare for sure but I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, I really feel your pain. I hope you find some relief soon.🙏😊

@AAOffZ Luckily the tinnitus was only yesterday... today I don't have the ringing. My waves have been getting shorter up until this current wave that I have been in since Friday of last week. Still a much better wave than the first one where I had suicidal ideations and could only sleep 3 hours with some minor akathisia. My main symptoms during my waves are somewhat minor but still very annoying. Dry skin, itchy skin, minor burning in legs (though that has mostly gone away), some adrenaline rushes, lowered mood, and sometimes just a weird feeling in my head. The other annoying thing is that deep breathing only works half of the time for calming me down. Luckily I do not have anymore anxiety so I know the Lexapro is working, now I just need my nervous system to balance out. I remember before I got on the Lexapro I had all the same symptoms I am having now like dry and itchy skin, just had the anxiety as well. Hopefully we both get back to baseline soon!

Update: Unsurprisingly, I’m still struggling, but with new problems now. My PSSD symptoms continue to rapidly deteriorate and it’s directly correlating with intensifying Anhedonia and complete loss of emotion. It’s so severe even my sense of taste and smell have been greatly reduced. I feel so emotionally numb it’s basically painful. There haven’t been any windows with this and it only seems to be intensifying every day. I get traumatized by my own memories of my former self because they don’t even feel like my memories anymore. That person was alive and had emotion. I’m concerned by how many drugs I’ve been on that I’ve done something to myself that I can’t recover from. I cant engage in anything because of the intense brain fog and discomfort knowing nothing feels right. The prognosis for PSSD doesn’t look good…. I just want to feel at least a little something… all I can feel is the intense discomfort every once in a while. Im starting to get concerned because I don’t see how my brain could recover from this amount of rapid change. Having PAWS and PSSD at the same time is probably some of the worst suffering imaginable and I don’t wish this on anyone

Hi @ThreeLittleBirds- I'm new here, and wanted to say hello. I'm so sorry for the difficulties you're having. I'm no professional, but I have lots of experience with lots of drugs. I can only tell you what I have experienced. Whenever I have tried to reintroduce a drug that I had been off of for more than a couple of months, I had terrible side effects. One almost killed me- I tried to restart Wellbutrin several years after stopping it with a rapid taper, and I developed a dangerous arrhythmia. The only exception, interestingly, was Lexapro lol- the one that has caused you so many problems! So I don't know- maybe trying something different might help you in the moment, but maybe not. I don't think there are any easy answers here. If you do try something new, I would start at a SUPER low dose. I think the symptoms you are having a perfectly normal withdrawal effects. It SUCKS. I really do believe in non-drug methods of coping, but meditation and hard core exercise can certainly be impossible when you're in this state. Aim smaller- do a short walk around the block. Like 5 minutes. I like floating in water- I find it very calming. Try journaling- even if all you can do at first is write one sentence. I also enjoy spending time with animals- my pets get mauled with attention when I'm going through anything difficult- it has been scientifically proven to lower blood pressure and help with mental well-being. I also find that accomplishing something- even something really small, like cleaning my cat's litter box- helps me feel a bit better in my own skin. I think it reminds me that I am capable. Just think small, and take things one minute at a time... you can do this!!! ❤️‍🩹

Well Is complicated i tried to change my signature to put my dose changes AND i couldnt I Will try to write changes here. I think im worst than my baseline Specially in cognitive way Is very hard to do my work since my cognition Is not working well from the last Time i drop dose I held for about a month before The virus i got attack cns AND stay there permanent My currents dose Is 0.95 mg at 9 am ativan pharmacy do my pills 1 MG at 3 PM ativan pharmacy pills 0.95 MG at 9 pm compounding liquid pharmacy ativan then last Time i drop was sunday April 20 9 am dose from 1 MG to 0.95 MG Before this drop was with ni problem of 0.05 the virus changed all my system Is extreme fragile wich Is very scary Is cognition going worst i would like to stop tapering but i have the pills from pharmacy maybe i take them pills to do More of my current dose i have a scale now AND i want to start cutting my own pills or do water taper so no More expend money on pharmacy AND all that im very scared about cognition im failing my work all the Time AND i cant lose my job , i feel If i continúe tapering my cognition gonna be worst before i did 0.05 per week with no problem AND hold one week . That was totally like 5 % a month so currently - 9 am 0.95 MG ativan 3 PM 1 MG ativan 9 pm 0.95 ativan 11 PM 123 MG seroquel symtpms are anhedonia , worst cognition, bad sleep intolerance to food AND gym basically - Im going worst idk why i rally take good Care healthy life It supposed to go better from lowering dose idk . Thanks so much for reading