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  2. Shep

    ColdTurkeySoup - Introduction

    No one can predict the future, CTS. You did what you thought was right back then. Now that you know more about these drugs, you're making different decisions. That's all we can do. Right now, you need your energy to heal, not to beat yourself up over things you can't change. Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism Tried to shift your negative thoughts so you don't dwell on them and go into a dark spiral. This is a great thread for learning how to do this: Dealing With Emotional Spirals When all else falls, learn to "change the channel": "Change the channel" -- dealing with cognitive symptoms
  3. Songbird


    Baxter managed a successful bridge from Cymbalta to citalopram. We can't tell you what you should do - switching is always a gamble - it's impossible to predict an outcome. However, it is possible as it has been done.
  4. Shep

    Goosie: insomnia crisis

    Goosie, how much were you sleeping prior to this last insomnia wave from reducing the herbal supplement? Was it more sleep than what you are currently getting? If so, you may want to hold a bit longer and see if you can reach more stability with your sleep. Please post your thoughts. Your last sleep update was only 3 hours, and I'm concerned if you start tapering again, it could get worse.
  5. thecowisback

    How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules

    I'm still having trouble getting the last bit of compacted powder out of the capsules. I've tried using as toothpick to scrape out the last bits but some still remains. If I put the capsule into the water to wash it out some powder sticks to the capsule when I remove it. Would it be ok to leave the empty capsule in the solution for the duration of the use of the liquid?
  6. Shep

    AlexRussia: Polydrugged in Russia

    I'm glad to read you're seeing improvements. As sleep continues to improve, you'll see even more improvements.
  7. @arsa I just copied this from your signature. You are still no doubt suffering from Paxil withdrawal from 8 months ago, your recent changes with diazepam and mirtazapine have been drastic. It's possible you may benefit from an updose of the diazepam. Benzodiazepine updoses work best within 2 - 4 weeks of the last reduction, and you are currently in that timeframe. Your reduction from 3 mg X 2 daily down to 2.5 mg X 2 daily was May 12, which is 10 days ago. That was a 16.67% reduction, which is too rapid a reduction. Please go ahead and start your drug and symptoms journal in the format ChessieCat posted. Please also include any supplements you are taking and the number of hours you are sleeping at night.
  8. thecowisback

    jonnypeters1234567: 11 months off Citalopram

    The memory loss is awful. I have list so many memories from when my kids were little. I just hope they're still in there somewhere and I'll recover them one day. How are you now Johnny?
  9. Hey @pug, you are incredibly helpful for all of us with your detailed replies and succes story I want to thank you for this. I dont know how many times I read your story over and over again when I have these intense withdrawal days. It always lifts up my mood when I feel alone with all those symptoms because no one in my environment can relate to what I try to tell them. What you describe is so common to what I am going trough for almost 4 years now. I say 4 years because I had lots of the known symptoms from the very beginning I started taking Paxil in early 2016. It is just so unimaginable that we still suffer after all those month because nothing I ever faced in life lasts so long plus the recovery does not feel like when you haveing a flu or a broken arm. As you described it is 1 step forward 3 steps back and no month is like the other. One symptom goes the other appears - One symptom which has gone for a few month just comes back and stays again for a few weeks. I quit paxil in Feb 2017 after a very fast taper and 2017 + 2018 were just awful for me though I had windows from the very beginning. Now I am sitting here in a bad wave 27 month after taking my last pill of Paxil with intenste Derealisation,Brain Fog, Dizziness, Tinitus, Feeling Drugged / Hungover ,Head Pressure, Hot and Cold Flashes / Sweating ,Gastic Problems, Muscle / Joint Pain & intense Moodswings. While having a wave there is constantly an inner voice which is trying to tell me that this is no WD and you are just sick or permanently braindamaged which is I guess a common WD symptom itself. The worse symptoms are Derealisation combined with Brainfog and Dizziness because I feel like I am not connected with the world at all and I cant imagine anymore how it feels when you are back to normal where everynthing feels balanced and "connected". The feeling of suffering from these symptoms plus not feeling connected to your world is so awful and sometimes I really lose all my hope that it will ever stop. It such a long road until now that I sometimes think I cant fell normal again because I was to deep and too long into it but than I read your articles and I think if he could make it out of it why not me? But this motivation only lasts until I get the next intense wave. I am waiting so bad for this very first day where I have no Derealisation & Brainfog and I feel "normal" and healthy again. Where everything makes sense again and I can continue with living a normal life. All the best to everyone reading this! Maggie
  10. RichT

    RichT: coming off Abilify

    Thank you Rosetta, I tried journaling this morning and it certainly helped. So i’m Going to try that more often. thanks again for your kind suggestions. R
  11. RichT

    RichT: coming off Abilify

    Thanks Marconyc, yes, there are things going on! We had some people to stay for a week, which I found stressful, even though they’re very nice people. Then the band I play in had a demanding gig, and then I went to see my stepdad who’s in his early 80s and suffering from unexplained and possibly incurable fainting. It was a shock to see him so frail as he’s always been a strong and physically imposing man. I’m feeling worried about him. So i’m going to take things easier over the next few days. thanks for your kind suggestions and encouragement. I find exercise very helpful, and I do meditate. R
  12. RichT

    RichT: coming off Abilify

    ‘Thank you so much Goosie
  13. RichT

    RichT: coming off Abilify

    Thank you so much for your kindness Dejavu.
  14. Today
  15. Hi Albin, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your symptoms and story. I also suffered from multiple adverse reactions and ended in simmilar state, in which body and mind are completely wrecked. I don't feel emotions, don't have imagination, my cognitive impairment is acute, sensations from my body are altered, my nerves and muscles are tight and spasmatic, my blood pressure dropped, my heart beat is weak, I can't concentrate, wake up every one hour at night and much more. I know how terrible it is and how hopeless it can look like. Personally, I don't think that it will be a short road to recover and if I will ever reach full health, but lately I asked myself what other option do I have? Suicide is not an option, I can't do that to my family and I value my life, even in these circumstances. I am sure there is a way to recover to a significant degree, but it requires a lot of work and full engagement. There is big connection between state of one's overall health and vulnerability to psychotropic drugs. I believe that if my body will be in really good shape, it will start to heal itself. So first step in my recovery is to make my body as healthy as possible. Good diet, supplementation, examinations to know how to tackle certain symptoms. I prefer to stay away from any brain chemistry altering supplements, as you've seen by yourself, effect can be disasterous. If you would like to talk, feel free to PM me. I wish you the best and believe that you will recover.
  16. Alua

    Tao of the Brassmonkey

    Interesting brass, at 2.5 years off I have been having migraine with aura every couple of weeks for the past few months. I also woke in the middle of the night from a dream with one which was most unusual. Mine lately have also not progressed to anything that a couple of panadol cant control. I have a slightly sore head and just feel off after one. My vision has been very erratic since the migraines started. I was blaming my hormone replacement but perhaps this is just wd normal at this stage. Since being off I had probably 3 in the first two years and i reckon I've had about 6 in the last 3 months. Peace and solidarity.
  17. My anxiety was unberable during waves and I do not think I am heading into menopause yet. Even if so, staying on this poison was not the option once I learned how dangerous they can be. I just wished I knew the importance of tappering before the drugs turned against my brain. I had the same issues like you. Each window, and I had so many in these nearly 2 years off, I felt great but it was always shortly followed by horrible wave that felt like I was at the beginning. But with time it improved. It looks like waves are not so district anymore. It feels more like a really bad day or not so good week. I can not be sure and I fear that those waves of hell can return but when I compare myself to that person at the beginning of wd, I know there was a huge improvement. Time helps. And maybe acceptance...
  18. Yes, Rosetta, this whole experience makes one feel worn and spent on all fronts. What She refers to as battle fatigue. I"m glad you've had some moments of feeling ok - a bit of a breather from the insistent symptoms. May there be many more...and more...and more ok moments Neroli 💜
  19. planifolia

    planifolia: Lexapro reinstatement

    Very grateful for your time and input brass, thank you
  20. that describes my days and nights very well. my husband tells me to not anticipate a bad night/next day as it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. i find it hard to stop looking too far forward and this is where mindfulness comes in. i have to constantly remind myself to live in the moment and not try to predict the future all the time. keep going - you're doing really well looking after your littlun despite everything that's going on xxx
  21. Zelnick, you have not given up. otherwise you wouldn’t be here. I’m new Here and my life got totally destroyed by Zyprexa. i totally your frustration. I am declining from being poly-drugged and I have been forced meds even more toxic than Zyprexa. My face and body and genetics are Altered. I experience no pleasure. Life is worthless for me. I don’t believe in recovery at all. I feel I am braindead forever. And I am negative and constantly complaining. But, I will not give up, even if this is the rest of my life, and you won’t either. Hang in there. I will. because you know what? Don’t let them win. Don’t let Big Pharma and the brainwashed win. Try. Like you are doing. You are still Here and you are upset and you want to heal. I’m not saying you will recover. But try you must. There are many years left and down the line people like us will get justice and propbably find something that will make life worth living again.
  22. Rbvdk

    Rbvdk: PGAD/PSSD or OCD?

    It was a year ago on the 19th I tappered to 0. I can't say there's much improvement. My headzaps and urethra spasms seemed like they were improving but have come back worse than before, same with the pgad (it never went away but it started to become manageble) now that's come back worse than ever. Am I the only one who has actually gotten worse over time? I don't think this is normal and I'm scared. I've tried supplements but they don't seem to be doing anything, I worried they might have even made it worse. I'm trying to get the vitamins through food instead. I think the only thing that's been slightly helping is a keto diet. My anxiety reduced a lot and it calmed what felt like overactivity in my brain that would cause sudden pgad flares (like just from thoughts or loud noises etc). I want so badly to give this another year and hope it improves but I seem to be an extremely slow healer (if at all). I might start considering medication for the pgad but I'm scared of making it worse. Here are my symptoms now, I'll try to give them an overall rating based on frequency and intensity: - PGAD (7/10) - it's unbearable but I know it can be worse from other's experiences. The bladder and abdomen flares have come back suddenly too - headzaps (3/10) - happens almost every morning now which hasn't happened since I first withdrew - undigested stools - idk how to rate this lol it's just never normal since, it's always yellow with pieces - urethra spasms and feeling of fullness after peeing (4/10) - getting worse again - tinitus (2/10) comes and goes now - earworm (9/10) constant even in my dreams but lately there seems to be breaks from it in the day (either that or I'm too used to it) - word salad (idk the word for this but my sentences are all muddled up and I can't even write properly without using a ton of mental effort. This hasn't improved at all) - severe anxiety (low carb has got it down to 1-2/10) - depression (7/10) I mostly only feel it due to pgad but can feel myself/happy on a good symptom day. But when it does hit it hits hard and I'm extremely suicidal - groggy/tired/flu symptoms/headaches/ sickness/stomach cramps etc - (5/10) getting worse - temperature disregulation (2/10) - hot and cold flashes usually in legs (2/10) getting worse I also recently (January) started getting this weird symptom where my burps feel and sound like hiccups, it doesn't come out normally anymore it sort of spasms? and just hiccups instead? I don't know if it's withdrawal related but I don't know what else it could be. The symptoms I got from last time I withdrew are still here too, all pudendal neuralgia symptoms like: Stinging in and around perineum and vulva Crawling and stinging in anus Pins and needles in tailbone Anus spasms every time I pass gass lol Sizzling burning in butt (mostly where the sitting bones are) when sitting I still wonder if my injury there is what is causing most of those (although there was a huge delay which is a lot like how withdrawals act) but I know the pgad is from withdrawing, I totally forgot about this but in 2014 I took paxil for 2 weeks and then stopped and actually got very mild pgad (just 2 little flares) until I started citalopram. That was before injury but maybe my injury could be making the pgad worse than it should be? This is long but it'll be useful for me to look back on. I just want to know why I'm getting worse??
  23. Will add signature later today, to tired now. the thing is the the anhedonia is something that happened due to Mucuna Pruriens. Not the AD or AP:s. Emotions died, but I still had anxiety and reward in way I don’t know before Mucuna. I was also desperate and took like 15 sorts of supplements in addition go Mucuna. b12, selenium, vitamin D, zinc, magnesium, curcumin, gotu kola, b3, b complex... Now I understand that just made it worse. And I have always eaten supplements, since I few years back. ( zinc, mag, d, omega 3). i also did LLLT on my head. Didn’t improve at all of course. I fear I have just damaged my self for real by trying to combat what happened.
  24. brassmonkey

    planifolia: Lexapro reinstatement

    In the past ten months you've essentially CTed, reinstated at your full dose, done a very fast taper/CT, reinstated almost your full dose and done a 50% taper. Your body doesn't know what's hit it. Right now you are highly sensitized to any changes and your body needs stability. Feeling well during a fast taper is not an indicator that things are going well, it is your body becoming confused and trying like crazy to handle not having the drugs it needs to function. After feeling well for several weeks to several months it all comes apart in a major crash. That crash can take a very, very long time to recover from. For the foreseeable future, six months to a year, possibly more, it would be best to stick on the 10mg dose and ride it out until you stabilize. It won't be easy, but stability will happen. Once stable you will be able to start a very careful, slow taper and work your way off of the drug.
  25. Yep. I'm realising how off balance I still am by my reactions to things that wouldn't really have bothered me before. In fact, I noticed this time last year (before I updosed) that I was over reacting to little things. I had been holding at 2.5mg of cit for about a year at that point. I didn't realise at the time that I was having a delayed withdrawal response, it didn't really hit me until the beginning of that year. Hindsight is a useful thing...at least I know what to expect now. I have woken up feeling a lot calmer today. The last 48 hours, had a really intense wave of anxiety. One thing I've noticed as I've gone along is that I've had a wave pretty much every month since reinstating, and it has lasted about a week. In April, that changed a bit. I've had shorter waves, they don't last as long.Maybe a couple of days, quite intense but then they go again.
  26. ChessieCat

    BeWell: AD taper

    The mods will need at least 3 consecutive days of symptoms notes in order to assess your situation and whether reinstating is an option:
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