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  2. We ask that you please publish your posts in English so moderators can comment if needed.
  3. La psiquiatría me dijo que mis problemas (morales) no eran reales, que estaba loco, que había perdido la cabeza, mandó por la borda todo mi progreso personal en mi conflicto moral interno-externo, sin haberlo resuelto. Hace 8 años entendí que la causa de mi sufrimiento (moral) emocional, reacciones postraumáticas, estrategias de afrontamiento "disfuncionales" y "desajuste social"/"disfuncionalidad" psicosocial estaba en mi conflicto moral interno-externo, y que hasta que no lo solucionara no dejaría de sufrir ni reaccionar de esa manera, no pararía nunca de sentirme "así", inmoral, pero entonces me aislé para solucionar todo esto por mi cuenta y dejé de ser productivo, "funcional", y me sentí aún más inmoral y entré. en un loop de "inmoralidad", mi identidad moral enloquecedora me dominó y poseyó por completo. Desarrollar un sistema moral personal es la única ventaja social que puedo tener y la única manera de alcanzar la paz social, mental y emocional, no sintiéndome como un desecho humano y un miserable permanentemente. Y eso es lo que intenté hacer hace 8 años, pero fui arrestado. Luego esa mujer narcisista y abusiva arrasó con lo que quedaba de mi maltrecho sistema moral personal, necesitaba salvarlo, para evitar colapsar mental y emocionalmente, para no sufrir y sentirme "así" otra vez, inmoral, por eso me aferré a ella de ese modo obsesivo.
  4. So you can do small cuts with more ease. I guess if you have a 1ml syringe you wouldn't need to dilute it, but the reductions might be difficult to measure.
  5. Just a message to tell you that my anxiety is exploding, I'm passing a milestone I feel... This weekend I went to see a girl and I was hyper-anxious, like I've never been before, it was a nightmare between that and certain lamps in certain shops... I also find it harder and harder to get out of bed, no motivation to get out of bed because I have a depressing life with a terrible routine... I'm really lost, I also have psoriasis in my hair and I'm having an incredible crisis... I'm wondering, reading your post, if it wasn't stopping the magnesium that made everything worse... Maybe I should have waited until this weekend before trying...
  6. Today
  7. Please read the information I provided above. Here are a few of the most useful links: Important topics in the Tapering forum and FAQ Micro tapering Why taper by 10% of my dosage? How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules Using a scale to weigh and measure doses You have to do your own research and educate yourself on best practice for tapering. We recommend no more than 10% of your current dose each month.
  8. La cosa es, que contra el entorno el individuo siempre tiene las de perder, porque el individuo reacciona al entorno, no lo domina, no lo controla, el entorno relacional siempre es más poderoso que el individuo, el ser humano como individuo es débil, vulnerable, es una lucha perdida. Todo esto lo sabía de adolescente, pero lo olvidé completamente con el paso de los años, la psiquiatría, la Sertralina y el Withdrawal. Es imperativo adaptarse al entorno relacional para poder sobrevivir en él y satisfacer nuestras necesidades humanas, es del único modo en que podemos conseguirlo, lo que la psiquiatría llama ser "funcional", o sea, "moral", "normal", "sano", o cambiar de entorno relacional y encontrar uno en el que puedes ajustarte exitosamente. Por eso no hay otra manera de resolver el conflicto moral interno-externo que o encontrando algún tipo de resolución, término medio, negociando y ajustándote exitosamente o huyendo a otro entorno y por eso es tan importante la educación moral. Hace 8 años trataba de ser "moral", de ajustarme a mi entorno relacional para poder satisfacer mis necesidades humanas, personales y traumáticas, pero la psiquiatría me dijo que era inmoral y estaba loco sin remedio, drogándome, haciéndome desconectar química y psicológicamente, impidiéndome hacer frente a mi conflicto moral interno-externo, alcanzar una resolución, o tener la necesidad de huir de mi entorno relacional, anulándome, forzándome a adaptarme, oprimido, alienado. Satisfacemos nuestras necesidades humanas y vivimos una buena vida cuando nos adaptamos exitósamente al entorno relacional, cuando somos personas "funcionales", "sanas", "morales", "normales", "cuerdas", bien ajustadas, y no por la fuerza, reprimiendo, como hace la psiquiatría. Me aislé para aliviarme de mi sufrimiento moral disparado, evitar mis triggers morales y poder encontrar una resolución definitiva a mi conflicto moral interno-externo y complejo mediante la búsqueda del sentido a mi sufrimiento moral y un propósito, para alcanzar la paz social, mental y emocional, interna, pero me obsesioné con mi sufrimiento moral, tratando de entenderlo y controlarlo y me acorraló sin tener el apoyo moral de nadie, y por eso me llevé un año y medio aislado de todos. Alcanzar una resolución en el conflicto interno-externo tiene como finalidad llegar a ser una persona "moral", tener paz social, mental y emocional, eliminar mi sufrimiento moral y satisfacer mis necesidades personales, humanas y traumáticas, sobrevivir, ser feliz.
  9. FireflyFyte

    itsalyssadood: Lexapro taper

    There is a possibility that it has contributed to your current state including the stress of having to go to urgent care due to a pinched nerve. How are you feeling today?
  10. margaretLO

    margaretLO: 7 years Lexapro - 1 year off

    After crash i suspect panax ginseng: Symptoms i had heal or get better and didn't even remember because the memory didn't heal yet(or never) and woke up with all of them: Very Dry eyes Mucus on throat Hands weakness to the level of stroke Dizziness unbalanced Visual vertigo when moving my eyes Skin sensation, sexual aroused from nipple sensation/puffy shape of nipples Some empathy laughing but without emotions level felt anything Temperature problem / fever low temperature Low orgasm Some percent of listening music which was enough dance Severe symptoms when standing /dysautonomia Pain in Joints Symptoms got little better not healed and got even worst now: Hppd/ motion blintness Memory issues Brain fog Confusion Speech issues Feeling of fried brain
  11. It's today... 4 full months completed. The window lasted 5 days, the wave at least 3 so far and I believe it's fourth day now. I think the problem started with my note that I wrote during a window: "Starting to feel depressed. Mindset issue. I have great people around, lots of success and passions, but accepting some things doesn't come to me. I'm not how I wanted myself to be. I'm better than that, but in my mind things being on my terms have always been more important than them being good anyhow. I'd completely ignore the recovery since it will be back to normal at some point and I'm already over my breakup, but one thing that I could never live with is my body issues. It's very similair to this recovery but unlike my CNS, these things won't be fixed. I have nerve damage in my toes, my neck is chronicly clicking, milias, scars, badly located raised nevi. All this is stuck at the worst possible conclusion that I could never accept: "not broken enough to be malfunctioning/visible/painful, but not feeling as it used to be". This is very alienating. I could always be one who stays composed and rational in face of death of someone or an accident, but when it comes to something not feeling as before in my body, I detoriate into what I call "resent depression". It's the state I don't even want to exit. I don't want to accept positive things living alongside negative ones. I feel resigned, waiting for death and wanting to throw myself into sacrifice for others cause there is nothing upcoming for me anyways. What kept me going is a hope that it can all be fixed, but it's not achieveable with my inertia. I wish I was already 80, it'd be easier to accept that my body will not be how I used to be". I couldn't sleep for too long, way too much rumminations, even if unrelated to recovery or positive. I have to get over the mood from that note. I desperately tried to simply accept and flow with the waves. The problem is, this technique itself brings the absolute purest suffering out of the symptoms. I'm not sure if this is the right way to go with now. It would be wonderful if I could let the symptoms simply be there, unaffected by thoughts and feelings pushing me to fight them. Except they're not yet bearable and now I wonder if I should go back to coping which is often avoidance because breathing exercises are tools to make symptoms go away without embracing them and seeking support from others at least until the symptoms are no longer breaking me down or should I continue to push through this and insist on accepting symptoms. The thing is, recovery from meds is not exactly the same as desensetizing CNS from health anxiety without withdrawal/adverse reaction. Waves and hypersensitivity to other meds make it a more structured process. Therefore... I'm not really sure. Recovery from drugs happens regardless, so maybe the "coward" way of dealing with symptoms isn't that bad of an idea if I don't feel strong enough yet? The waves are very intense, I mean there are hours when I barely recognize my parents, when any thought is just so out of touch with reality, when I feel so stuck inside with some unbearable mood that I really can't see a hope to accept this in any way. I did a lot of work with countering negative thought patterns and avoiding rumminations, but the peak wave moments are like me being temporarly invaded by something and altered so much that there's only my rational thinking that works, everything else is not to even be felt. I don't even know how long can it take. Another month? Two? Four? Much more than that? I guess I can't really push through the mindset that it doesn't matter to me. It does. The second and third day of a wave should be spent asleep I think. If thoughts are so altered, then it's really cancelling yourself at every turn. If body slows down so much at all fronts, I may as well give it more rest. I've been to doctor and she prescribed opipramol. She says it's the weakest possible med, but I don't plan on even trying it out. The sense of trauma comes from the fact that I don't feel like I survived that wave. I feel like I gave up so many times but couldn't actually give up. If it doesn't improve, then it will continue to traumatize me. Mind and body in a free flow state. I wasn't expecting a wave to be worse than previous one, thus I was sure I'll handle it without breaking down. I felt like I had a serious life threatening mood, huge brain fog, depersonalization, interpreting the image or adjusting the focus, distance of my eyesight, headhands, balance issues, insomnia. I was insisting that I accept it internally, that I don't fear it and I survived like that up to sunday afternoon until I got some wierd attack inside. For 2 or 3 hours I was in some neurological suffering, hard to call it pain, but the burden was so heavy I felt like some total destruction was happening inside me. Phantom limbo falling as well (it's like brain thinking you're dropping from your body failing to register the body didn't go any lower) and it reached the intensity of January waves. Maybe I didn't snap under it more than anyone else would, but I couldn't bear it and it lasted so long, not even sleeping or panic first aid helped (fast enough), so next day I woke up traumatized and my body failing to feel secure again which is probably why it doesn't recover in the first place. My family was busy with guests the whole weekend, I felt aloof at church, my friend was sleeping and the mods here probably don't pripritize me after they saw me providing support to others and knowing all the coping believing they won't help me more than that. Dealing with typical anxiety symptoms is not the same as such "full system operations". I'm tired too. The mind during waves won't produce positive thoughts or moods, let alone after what I went through. Fourth day I still have too much terror and panic inside, way too anxious and alarmed, but at least my thinking isn't that estranging as it used to be. Maybe that whole "accept and observe" made me buy into the symptoms narrative too much. Maybe I really should distract myself instead, but there's no way of doing that during a mass or family meeting. Hadn't had such a bad wave in a month...
  12. Hibari

    54fiftyfour: trazodone WD

    @54fiftyfour Benzo withdrawal is not human. It is a very hard thing to do and causes the deepest feelings of despair. I know you absolutely feel that you will not heal and that your brain cannot recover. I felt that, as well as 95% of people withdrawing from benzos. On top of that, benzos create strong rumination because of the mechanics of the drug. I know people from my former benzo group who suffered with strong symptoms of many kinds. They all feared the would not recover and thought that their life was over. They like you had family responsibilities, which is very hard during withdrawal. They recovered and are living their lives now. Benzo lie and the truth will appear when you are off. Hibari
  13. BaccatePlayer

    Hypersensitivity and Kindling

    Yes, it's yet another way CNS present itself as abnornally sensitive to a harmless stimuli. Precisely the music example is what I can relate to. I guess you can either wait it out until your system build enough tolerance for such experiences or you can gradually keep trying to expose yourself to it more, practise acceptance of your worsened symptoms and hope your mind will register this activity as safe. Your default arousal levels are too high and quickly activate you too much in face of any major change. Probably similair effect would be achieved with working out, sexual activity or going on a carousel.
  14. Yes. The only difference is that I don't think of it as permanent damage, but more like a very long one. Technically realistic thought, it may very well last twice as much, thrice as much or even longer, but the worst is knowing I have to face the unbearable symptom in the moment. There's no relief, pause, escape or anything to make it easier and there are no people around willing to get me out of panic attack so I have to do it by myself, then deal with the trauma again because my body got frightened by the intensity of suffering. Distracting doesn't work until lots of hours, sometimes days pass with me canceling pretty much any automatic thought. I don't think there's a way to break the cycle until a certainly low level of intensity of symptoms is achieved. If you expose someone to a situation beyond their maximum consent and tolerance, of course there will be extremely strong fear of it happening again. If the symptoms keep changing, then it's even more difficult because you have to go through a whole suffering until you become somewhat familair with that and believe it ends in a certain way.
  15. Nunca entendí ni supe qué hacer con mi sufrimiento moral, cómo gestionarlo, interpretarlo, etc. Siempre lo sentí como anormal, incomprensible y peligroso. Nunca he sabido negociar con mis emociones y sentimientos morales, con el sistema inmoral imperante, sacar partido de él, usarlo en mi propio beneficio, siempre he querido controlarlo, dominarlo, resistirme a él, siempre sentí que no encajaba en él, por eso mi necesidad de controlar y dominar mi sufrimiento moral resultante desbordante, liberarme de él, aliviarlo, de las cadenas de mi identidad moral opresiva y alienante, dominándola, controlándola, de ser libre de la moral aplastante. Mi estrategias de afrontamiento no son malas, lo malo es no tener apoyo moral. Hace 8 años trataba de superar el sistema moral de mi entorno relacional, opresivo y alienante, que tanto me hizo sufrir, haciéndome sentir miserablemente, internalizado en mi identidad moral postraumática y tiránica, enloquecedora, por eso necesitaba apoyo moral y validación emocional externa: trataba de superar el sistema moral social imperante. La psiquiatría y la Sertralina me sabotearon y debilitaron inmensamente, ml espíritu, mi moral, pero pese a todo no acabaron conmigo, porque nunca me rendí, seguí luchando, seguí creyendo en algo mejor y más humano es posible, algo más moral que lo que hay.
  16. 25% is a much larger drop than we recommend which is no more than 10% of your previous dose per month. You can read more on why at Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Were you feeling the symptoms you listed when you began tapering again?
  17. If you have 20ml of water * 90% = 18ml that you would consume this month. Next month would be 18ml * 90% = 16.2ml to consume....etc There is nothing wrong with going slower than this of course 😊
  18. Hello team and hope you are doing well. I have started my zoloft weaning off on 1st o April. From 50mg I cut down to 37.5 drop by 25%) and I don't see until now any major changes except the usual ones that I have almost daily and don't know why , which are: a sense of overwhelm during the day everyday , ear ringing all the time, and strong chest pain and low back-pain. For the back pain I am starting today physiotherapy and see how it goes. Is the constant overwhelm from my zoloft and abilify use? Because I cut off the drugs and still have this overwhelm daily. I want to mention that I used to have anxiety daily when I was using Abilify and now I have this overwhelm all the time almost. Maybe the CNS is still very sensitive and is trying to adjust but to me is so exhausting at the end of the day Thank you and have a great day ❤️
  19. The balancing act...I hear you. For me, I take the fact that it changes in intensity as a good thing—it's not permanent. I assume if it were permanent damage, the noise would be constant/consistent in intensity. I read Brassmonkey (I think) talk about WD normal (I interpret that as meaning stability). You still have symptoms, but they are manageable, and you can go about your normal day. Have a read of Windows and Waves again. Distractions help If other stuff has improved, this is positive. It's an unpleasant situation we finds ourselves in, but there is lots of support and encouragement on this site. Have a read of the success stories for a boost.
  20. FindRest

    Doctorsrcrap: can't cry and frustrated

    Did they tell you what kind of cysts they are? I have several Tarlov cysts, aka nerve root cysts, on my spine. A couple of them are large and a few more medium and small. They wrap around the nerve roots. Mayo Clinic said the treatments are too risky and don’t work for a lot of people. They also said many doctors downplay their significance but they can be debilitating for many patients. You’ve repeatedly said that no one understands the pain you are in. The truth is some of us do, like I’ve told you before. I can be crippled by nerve pain. I’ve passed out from the pain several times. I know many people have it worse, as mine comes and goes, or I go in waves of several days/weeks, then it gets better. Things that have helped me are: 1. Keep hunting for a dr who will take you seriously. Don’t stop. Also hunt for the right physical therapist, one who knows how to help you. 2. Reviewing the MRI report and researching the exact diagnosis. (You need to find out what type of cysts you have and the precise locations. This will lead you to the right type of specialist.) 3. Wearing a back brace. 4. Ice/heat and repeat, repeat, repeat. Every single day. 5. It is possible to have epidural shots into your spine to take the pain away. They work wonders. 6. My TENS unit has been my saving grace. If you don’t have one, get a good one, then have a physical therapist show you where to attach the electrodes for best results. Don’t get a cheap one.
  21. hm, it’s really hard to tell what stability looks like. Is it just more manageable symptoms, or do I have to wait until I feel feel really good? it’s also hard as symptoms keep jumping around in their own timelines, like just as of yesterday I was becoming really distressed and frustrated with my ears clicking and the pressure and pain that came with it. This has worsened recently, but other stuff has gotten better. It’s so hard to tell! im so torn between these decisions and so scared to do any more detriment to myself. should I wait for my tinnitus to settle a lot more before I go up? It has settled slightly and I’m able to ignore it a bit more but it’s still there. Im finding this self management scheme very distressing as I just feel damned if I do damned if I don’t
  22. Doctorsrcrap

    Doctorsrcrap: can't cry and frustrated

    @LotusRising The pregablin is making me feel really sick and spaced out and I don't like it. If I wanted to could I just stop taking it? At what point does that become not an option. Its making me feel really ill
  23. @Emonda ah I am so sorry to hear that! It’s really unfortunate that tinnitus comes into play with this medication and withdrawals I actually experienced tinnitus coming off prozac in January, since reinstating it has aggravated it slightly and it’s coming more present, it was diminishing a lot during the few months I had it before reinstating and I really hardly noticed it. Now, it’s a lot more present - im concerned I may be causing permanent damage to it by reinstating. But I was concerned that I was going to crash even more late down the line and got scared.
  24. It's your choice, but if you can give yourself another week, it might be worth trying. Stability is key, and allowing plenty of time to adjust to small changes. I know at times in the past I've wanted to make a change out of desperation for relief. With encouragement, I held my dose and stability came. I'm sorry you find yourself in this position.
  25. Very jarring - I can't recall what I told you, but I developed tinnitus after reinstating Lexapro ~10 years ago at too high a dose (I hadn't found this website back then). It's never gone away. Most of the time, it is just background noise. The WD symptom checklist lists tinnitus as a WD symptom of ADs. I dropped slightly more last month than normal, and it flared up my tinnitus...three weeks later, it's still jarring! I guess what I am saying is that if reinstating the AD has caused your tinnitus, you'd want to be careful about increasing the dose further. It's a fine line between getting stable and managing side effects. I don't know what the right answer for you is. I hope my rambling is a little helpful.
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