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  2. Melissa Boutilier once mentioned she was in a video group chat with people at a similar point in their journey. There was always someone online. You could jump in and back out if it was too much. Even if it was just crying together. Supporting each other. I'd need something like that but guess it can't be forced. Needs to grow naturally.
  3. DustyMoon13

    DustyMoon13: citalopram

    I am reading my last post and I'm thinking... How could that of been written less that 3 weeks ago? It freaks me out how I can't measure time properly at the moment. I feel like that was written months ago. Right now the days are happier and I feel stronger. I also feel like I can easily fall. It's like the moment I notice I am feeling good is the same moment I realise I'm just balancing and there's a 70ft drop behind me and I just have to put one foot out of place to fall back into it. It's okay, I'm okay, things are going okay. Oh and hormones... Please for the love of God leave me alone. It's enough to go through withdrawl but then you also have a uterus. I'm lucky my husband is trying to understand me. We both know he doesn't understand but the attempt to understand and the comfort he trys to provide is helpful. I say attempt because i cannot physically be comforted and I cannot be emotionally comforted but having somebody stay with me and attempt to comfort me while I momentarily freak out is appreciated after the fact. After I've calmed down a bit I see the love he is giving me and I am so lucky.
  4. On another note, I am wondering if my 1 mg. Sertraline will keep improving over the course of six weeks like they say the so-called "real doses" do?
  5. Today
  6. Hi Peter Thank you so much for taking the time to write me, and I am so sorry to hear that you are going through something similar. It just is not fair. Are you out of the psychiatric ward now? I hope so. ❤️ I hope things will improve for you too. Soon, but slowly. 🙂 The moderators have been great. I feel safe in here.
  7. Ok so this is my final exit plan which i am comitted to... I still continue to have daily effects on and coming off the amitriptaline unfortunatly even at such a low dose. I have always worked towards getting to that dose where the reduction no longer effected me and coming off but it seems this is what i have to work with. I feel so tired mentally and physically right now and i know its time to finally get this stuff out my body once and for all. I really don't know whats instore as all i have is the 2014 experiance till now so i can be overwhealmed with fear at times and hopelessness. I totally don't remeber what it was like pre medication as i have lived in this mess for nearly 10 years now. With every reduction tho i have slowly started to make it back and now i just want to be off. So this is my exit plan. The next reduction below i will carry out in next 14 days.. Its a big reduction but not as big as the 100% when i come off after it after this. 0.2ml in syringe then taken to 6.4ml with water. Mixed in syringe then taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Mixed in syringe taken back to 1.6ml and water added up to 6.4ml again. Once i have some stability in my self which has been around 3ish months i will start the next step to fully stop!! This is a massive point for me in my journey and i just hope i have done enough to get off and start the next process of recovery. I have spoken to a parish community nurse and we have started making a withdrawl plan for the final time so i have got backup in place in the community. I have got support from local crisis hub which is open every evening to talk to crisis worker if needed and they are happy with this. I have my friends around me as well who are going to do what they can to support me. I didn't have any of this support in 2014 so hopefully this time i can get through this last bit and finallly off. I will update as i go on.
  8. Hello @wantrelief, I hope you are getting through your days with some moments that feel at least ok ish? It's all relative but maybe a nice enjoyable meal or a pleasant walk in nature or a moment of peace while meditating. I also like this meditation by Tara Brach. Vidyamala Burch also does a lovely live meditation on Tuesday nights England time for people suffering from chronic pain. That's us yes! I find her very soothing and compassionate. I haven't done one of her meditations for a while but must get back into it. The awful psychiatrist I last saw didn't give me the correct script for liquid Zoloft and did not return my three phone calls. I saw a new Gp and decided after some consideration, to just get some 25mg compounded capsules instead. Im wondering if cutting the 50mg in half and having slightly uneven amounts over the two days with each pill, has been causing problems with me reaching a better baseline. Ill give this a month and assess and then decide what to do next. The worst symptoms I have at the moment are horrid feelings on waking, comatose sleep at night which involves bad dreams or awful vivid dreams, feeling neutral at best during the day if Im not crying and depressed and frightened by how bad I feel and ear worms or an overactive mind that needs to be occupied all the time. Its like Im plugged into some battery. I find yoga, healthy diet (not easy when there is chocolate all over the place pre Easter) meditation and sometimes work -i'm a massage therapist in a calm environment, all helps. But most of the time I feel terrible. Its hard because it doesn't shift . Its been like this for eight months worse in the beginning but only mild improvements. I think Alto was right when she said that using mirt to deal with the symptoms caused by Zoloft was not a good idea. Anyway, Im heading to Sydney to put mum into nursing home next Monday. It will be hard. I keep saying to myself "we can do hard things". Sending love your way and hoping you are managing ok and have some company over easter. Jaffa xx
  9. Thankyou for getting back to me. Much appreciated. I have to go to Sydney to look after my Mum over Easter so I just got a compounding pharmacist to make a couple of months worth of 25mg capsules. This should be enough time for me to stabilise if indeed the cutting 50mg pill is causing problems. I introduced 15mg of mirtazapine 8 months ago and while its helped with the hyperactivity , hyper alertness, sleep and much needed weight gain it has brought on other horrible symptoms. So possibly the cutting of the 50 mg pill was what led to my destabilisation last May 23, even though the symptoms came on 9 months after the pill cutting began? Throw in me possibly missing the odd dose and enjoying a few glasses of wine and then some significant life stress and whoosh - the switch was turned on. To have experienced that level of suffering while still at 25mg made me feel terrified to taper any further. I waited 9 weeks to see if improvements would come but I seemed to be getting worse which made me introduce the mirt. If I would have tapered the Zoloft further I think it would have resulted in akathisia. As it was I felt like I was one step away from akathisia which Ive had in the past when I updated the Zoloft after experiencing withdrawal. Its all very worrying and I'm struggling with what to do next. I'll wait and see if anything gets better with the compounded 25mg script. After that, if there are improvements or not, I am lost as to whether to start the Zoloft taper of the mirt taper. I have dreadful feelings in the morning when I wake up. Its like a gut wrenching dread that improves once I get up and move around. I think this is an adverse reaction to the mirt. The rest of the day I feel very neutral at best, otherwise a crying mess, and I'm better in the evening. Many times I wonder if I'm even a safe candidate for tapering off psych meds due to the many akathisia episodes when reinstating/updosing. Akathisia is not something I could live through if its prolonged. I was thinking today that maybe I should talk to a neurologist and get na MRI on my poor brain. What do you think @FireflyFyte?
  10. Jaffa

    Dahlia50: Reducing Zoloft

    @Dahlia50 I'm thinking of you every day and saying a little prayer of sorts to the Gods, the universe, the powers that be- that you are growing in strength and resilience and that maybe occasionally you are having just a little moment of relief. I know that what you suffer is beyond hard . Sending love
  11. just me leaving a report to track my state: 21.03 - decided to updose a little bit, although @getofflex said that I should try and lower. From 6.4 to 6.6mg. There is no right decision, but I knew I needed to try lowering a bit, or updosing to see how I feel. Immediately in a couple of hours felt relief in symptoms - the muscle pain and my energy levels were way better. That continued 3 days - the fatigue was better, brain fog better, the muscle pain too, burping was a bit better as well. 24.03 - when I took the dosage, I experienced tension headache, was a bit dizzy and burning feet 25.03 - was the same in terms of symptoms but milder. 26.03 - all of them were better. 27.03 - tired, weakness 28.03 - woke up, clenching teeth, a bit anxious I do experience this ball of heat, do not know how to call it, in my stomach. I still do burp a lot, also have nausea, gas etc. - gastritis problems. I hope that I made the right decision and I read that I need to wait week or two to see the build up of the medication. Hopefully it goes well, I could not wait longer. What is the next thing to consider - if it goes well and I improve and continue to improve, I will hold and then taper with smaller percent? And if things do not improve or get worse? - go back to 6.4, or try a smaller increment again?
  12. I share the same sentiment as @Prozack There is not many recovery stories here of people who took mirtazapine or had an adverse reaction to it. In fact, they seem to have the worst outcomes compared to anyone else on this forum. IDK.
  13. My heart goes out to you, so sorry you experienced this. That's so recent, how are you holding up? This is great news! Sleeping and eating always make for the building blocks of a more stable day. So glad body is working with you. What did your window feel like, if you're up for describing it?
  14. To add to the above - I think it’s important to mention that in the morning after I’ve slept I feel relatively okay, still odd, but better. I take my medication at around 10am and then around midday to evening I feel all my symptoms exacerbate and i feel bad. I was also taking fish oil omega 3 and magnesium 375mg but I am going to stop taking that while I stabilise as I don’t want it to interact thought this might be more key information for you to form an opinion on my situation and what I should do
  15. @Mikatrap Sorry to hear about your troubles. From your signature one thing stands out is that you are making too many changes too frequently. I understand some of it might be to avoid certain side effects from medicines, but even the taper amount of the meds seems quite high. Please look up 10% tapering protocol Also it seems you are tapering two drugs at once, please see below so you get an idea. So please have a read of these sources if you havent already and do review your end goal of 0 mg as it seems very short time and it may cause more problems then it will solve.
  16. Emonda

    Jami: need help and advice

    Hi Jami, I have moved your new post back here to your own thread. Please post anything relating to yourself here, rather than starting a new thread. Also, I've just seen you sent me a PM several hours ago. It's best to post questions here, rather than send me PMs as I work full-time. Posting here gives others the chance to help you. As to your drug signature, please look at the link in my first post and follow those instructions. Your signature needs to appear at the bottom of every post. That makes it easier for others to see at a place where you're up to. These drugs cause some unpleasant side effects. I have heard of some developing PGAD going on ADs. Have a read of this link: Depending on how quickly you stopped Zyprexa and Valium, you may well have WD from that. We all heal with time and patience. If you have WD symptoms from the Zyprexa and Valium, I'd wait until you feel stable before considering touching Prozac. Time and patience are your friends. Hope this helps. Emonda (BTW: you are welcome to jump on other people's introductions and interact with them - I think you asked about that in the PM you sent me)
  17. Hello, im sorry I can’t update my signature on my phone so I’ll just quickly do it here and then I will try update it on my laptop today. signature: sertraline 4 years bridged with Prozac after CT prozac for 6 years CT advised by doctor and now in withdrawals reinstated at 20 mg for 5 days 0.4 mg for 6 days to present im just checking in as I’m having a really bad time - but I’m still unsure if this is expected for my journey in reinstating my medication or if there are things I should be evaluating. it’s so hard to get a clear definition of what an adverse reaction is on this site, antidepressants, their withdrawals and start up symptoms can all be so extreme so it’s hard to know when to intervene or push through. my withdrawals were mild to moderate before starting to reinstate: tinnitus bad brain fog double vision balance problems flu like symptoms Occasional panic attacks since starting again my symptoms are a collection of prozacs symptoms as listed on drugs.com as well as previous withdrawal symptoms exacerbated. tiredness extreme brain fog and concentration issues occasional muscle twitching restless legs in the morning and at night Occasional head pressure / head aches nausea once, and some Diarhea but it’s been mild and expected as I have IBS. some depersonalisation today. And I have had heightened anxiety that when it comes on makes my muscles hurt and cause burning sensations and it generally just feels like I have a lot of energy / adrenaline in my muscles that makes them ache. The heightened anxiety has only been bad twice, tonight being one of them - although I think it’s a fairly natural response to being in a situation that’s quite scary - it’s hard to not panic in situations like these when you feel like you’re in a scary situation, surrounded by information online that’s making you constantly doubt all your decisions whether you are okay or not, or will be okay. I have had more general anxiety but it’s been manageable. I need reinstatement to work. It’s my only option. But I am worried my dosage is not giving me the relief I need. increasing by 10 percent every two weeks seems too slow for me. I can’t afford to not get better over the course of a year I need to find relief as soon as I can. I understand about waiting to not cause sensitivity or kindling (although I still don’t understand how the concept of kindling is different to the start up feelings of antidepressants when “it gets worse before it gets better” feeling) However I need to find a way out of this so I can stabilise. Would 1mg increase in my dosage of Prozac every week be okay? Would I need to try reinstate on another medication? Like cotalopram? I do not want to use any other medication that has a short half life. I’m feeling very fragile but in retrospect I think I’m doing okay compared to other peoples stories. I’m not suicidal, I’m not depressed, img emotions are fairly sound. Which is positive and gives me hope that my body is strong enough to stabilise again with reinstatement. It’s just hard to gage whether the heightened anxiety is the “kindling” response or just withdrawals and starting a medication. please please please any advice air clarification on what’s going on, there are still so many holes in my understanding of what’s going on. I’ve seen people go to 5mg and stabilise, even tho they felt worse before bettering better. thank you x
  18. littlebird

    AndyPants: my story with Lexapro

    I got the advice once to put some easy wins at the top of the daily to do list: - Drink some water - Take meds - Brush teeth - Eat something Then every day you're starting the day off feeling productive! I used to do this, need to get back into it. Right there with you! Ah yes, the "never good enough/ I'll be nice to myself when ______" - doing the same thing. I have a friend who is encouraging me to be kind and loving to myself in all my mess. Working on it! Hope you're having a good night and going easy on yourself. 😎
  19. ShadowDancer

    Gth27: mirtazapine withdrawal

    @Prozack definitely some of my symptoms are gonna be permanent like the visual snow syndrome and tinnitus/hyperacusis. The only symptom that got somewhat better is the headaches. They are weaker in intensity but my sleep is ****. Tbh, if I can fix my sleep and get rid of the headaches I won't come back to this site.
  20. Jayyy

    Jayyy: Introduction

    Thank you so much for your kind words. This night I slept only for around 4 hours. Maybe less. Is not the first time this happens. I woke up at 4 am, 6 hours after the night dose. My hand was numb and extremities started to hurt and not long after my stomach started to hurt as well. I thought that maybe I'll fall asleep as in other nights but no. My interdose withdrawal is messing me too much. I'll have to dose 5 times to solve this and I don't know if I can do this. My pills are too small to do this. My total dose weights 0,096 g. That would mean 1 dose has to be around 0,019 g. It would be a mental torture to make them, the scale isn't accurate at low doses and I'm afraid I'll mess myself up. Switching to valium would be the best but I can't really do a cross-over at my dose since one valium pill is 10 mg. I can't cut 2,8 mg in at least 4 doses to have one month cross-over. The pieces would be too small and inaccurate. If I would somehow manage though, this would be the most comfortable option... The only reason I want to jump off Lexapro first would be because of the activation in the benzo withdrawal, but right now the benzo makes everything worse, it doesn't help me at all. I don't know how to solve the interdose withdrawal...Should I try dosing 4 times to see how it goes?
  21. Dear Mods, I know I have been foolish, but is there any advice you can give? I posted the following a while back and didn't get any replies. Dear all, I have a question for the mods or anyone who might be listening. Background I made the mistake of gradually increasing my Prozac dose to try and deal with my OCD symptoms so that I could continue working. I increased the dose very gradually over about 5 years from 20 mg to 30 mg. In the last few months I made the last jump from 27.7 mg to 30 mg and have unfortunately been hit by a wave of insomnia and akathisia. I realize that increasing the dose was foolish, but the OCD symptoms were very unpleasant and I wanted some respite from them. I wish that I could change my decision, but unfortunately I can't so I need to decide what to do now. Method of Prozac dose change from 27.7 mg to 30 mg At 27.7 mg I was taking one 20 mg hard capsule and 7.7 mg of liquid solution made from a hard capsule. When I moved up to 30 mg, I swapped the 7.7 mg liquid solution to a 10 mg hard capsule which was incidentally another brand to the 20 mg hard capsule. Current Situation I have just been through 3 days and nights of insomnia, Akathisia and other symptoms that became so unbearable that I took 0.5 mg Klonopin to relieve them and get some sleep. In the previous 5 years after my initial recovery, I only took Klonopin 0.25 mg a handful of times, so I am not a regular user. My question to the mods and anyone else is: what do I do now? I think it makes sense to go back down to 27.7 mg and hope I stabilize. Is that what I should do? Is there anything else? I am really frightened at the moment, so any kind words or advice would be greatly appreciated
  22. For anyone reading this, please do not make the mistake I made. I stabilized on 20 mg of Prozac in 2017 and was able to return to work. However, after some time, my psychological symptoms worsened to the point that I felt I needed to increase my dose again in order to continue working. I slowly increased the dose back to 30 mg over 5 years while continuing to work. Things seemed to be going well until February of this year when I made the final dose adjustment to 30 mg. Now I'm in a world of pain and regret. As bad as the psychological symptoms were, they pale in comparison to the physical symptoms I'm experiencing now. I honestly don't know how I survived the last 6 weeks and have no idea how I will survive in the future. If you are reading this and considering increasing your dose after stabilization, I would strongly advise against it. Once you are physically stabilized from an adverse reaction, your focus can shift to the underlying psychological symptoms, and there is a tendency to forget how bad the physical symptoms were. When that happens, you may be tempted to try to increase your dose, but it's not worth the risk. Hopefully this post helps at least one person avoid the mistake I made.
  23. Ok, thank you very much for your help so far. I'll continue to monitor my symptoms. Hopefully I will get out of this sooner rather than later, as I am still young. I never thought this would be the trajectory my life was going to take, but its a learning experience I suppose. I'll keep pushing forward as much as I can.
  24. Ok this is what was being pointed out in the last comment from Lotus, u see 10 mg of tablet is not equal to 10 mg of liquid (for some people atleast) this can be due to different manufacturer or just how the body metabolizes the active ingredient. Hence when switching from one form (tablet) to another form(liquid) a slow transition can help Day 1 75% tablet 25% liquid Day 4 50% 50% Day 8 25% 75% Day 12 100% liquid Please note above transition rate is just example, different people may tolerate different speed of transition. I have used 4 day principle as a guesstimate for blood plasma concentration achievement. Now in your case you have switched from tablet to liquid and at the same time reduced dose by 10%. Maybe these two changes are a bit much for you. What do you do now is really based on how bad your symptoms are for you. If it were me I may attempt atleast to restore to 10mg (liquid) and hold there for atleast 3 to 4 weeks to understand if my body can adjust to liquid dosing before resuming taper. More conservative approach could be 5mg(tablet) 5mg(liquid) for sometime till stability. Thats just my opinion but you are best judge based on your symptoms. Please do consider keeping a journal / diary as mentioned on the previous links, this will help mods (and yourself) to get a true picture of your symptoms over 3 to 4 days. And lastly, for future you can always try 5% decrease instead of 10%. To reduce WD effects. Or lookup Brassmonkey's slide method in search. Hope things get better soon for you.
  25. Psychiatry is the cause of my mental and emotional nightmarish chaos. During 2021 and 2022 stages of my withdrawal I clung for as long as I could to the false but "peaceful" reality of the chemical deception of Sertraline.
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