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  2. Josh
    Hi @Altostrata we haven’t corresponded yet but I thought I’d tag you for a second opinion. I’m struggling since reinstating, could you potentially look over my symptom log and see if I’m in the right track? Today feels like a turning point, feel the worst I’ve felt since this past month. The physical symptoms are intense and now I’m depressed and feel like I’m losing my mind. im going to hold at 0.44mg until I feel a bit of relief and then move up hopefully.
  3. Daddylonglegs started following Emonda
  4. Daddylonglegs

    Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in

    Daddylonglegs replied to Daddylonglegs's topic in Introductions and updates

    I didn’t notice anything, although I was flying home from Bali, so I was quite anxious on that day because of that. i was thinking maybe this setback is caused by the weather? As approaching winter now and dramatic change in weather from BalI just surprised by this wave as it reminds me of the first week after ct
  5. BaccatePlayer
    Joining you in pain. Things can go drastically different within hours, days or maybe weeks, but we'll get there scot-free. It's just a matter how much we're gonna suffer in the meantime. Little steps and not much will be left.
  6. Emonda

    Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in

    Emonda replied to Daddylonglegs's topic in Introductions and updates

    Stopping CT is tough. Recovery requires time and patience. Windows and waves are part of the recovery process. I used to have maybe 2 drinks on the weekend. That all changed ~12 months ago. I'd read on this site that alcohol and recovering from AD tapering / a CT is unhelpful. I started to notice the day after one drink, I'd feel worse, so I cut it out completely. The day after alcohol, do you notice an uptick in symptoms/anxiety?
  7. PattyCatty

    PattyCatty: Tapering off 10mg Citalopram

    PattyCatty replied to PattyCatty's topic in Introductions and updates

    Dear @Emonda Is the experience of coming off SSRIs similar to what I have experienced above? Appreciate any input. I imagine it is but just looking for some resources or information that basically says, yes this stuff happens and it's normal, there's nothing wrong with me. That was I don't add the second suffering of resisting or being scared of what's happening. Thank you
  8. Today
  9. KaiLee
    Feel like being tortured. I've been mentally tortured since I was about 14.
  10. Josh
    Hi @Emonda - just adding to the above. woke up today with bad depression. This is the first time I’ve had this since reinstating. I’ve been quite good at dealing with everything emotionally so far but now this feels bad. I think I’m going to be in bed all day. my brain feels like it’s not functioning at all. Cognitively my thoughts aren’t stringing together. I think I am going to hold at this dose for a while longer, hopefully this blows over
  11. Daddylonglegs

    Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in

    Daddylonglegs replied to Daddylonglegs's topic in Introductions and updates

    thanks for the reply Ive been cold turkey from Pristiq since the 19th of September. I was drinking 1-2 beers a night and more on the weekend a week ago but I don’t usually drink that much or at all.
  12. Daddylonglegs

    Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in

    Daddylonglegs replied to Daddylonglegs's topic in Introductions and updates

  13. PattyCatty

    PattyCatty: Tapering off 10mg Citalopram

    PattyCatty replied to PattyCatty's topic in Introductions and updates

    Just breaking the tablet made a huge difference. The tightening in the head and neck and numbness didn't come on, I felt more energised and motivated. I felt I could feel more eg when swallowing I could feel the texture of the food hitting the back of my throat. It was unnerving having the numbness not come on and I was on edge waiting for things to get worse as the day went on as it did the time I simultaneously tried to switch to liquid and reduce my dose by 30%. Things didn't get worse they got better as day went on but what made things worse was the anxiety expectation that things would. It felt strange to feel things more and sense things more eg more aware of my thoughts instead of them being numbed out in a fog. I found it all a bit disconcerting and I was waiting for things to get worse I was worried there's something wrong with me because I wasn't expecting just cracking the pill and crushing slightly would be so impactful I thought any changes would be imperceptible. I also felt I don't want a few more days of white knuckling through the initial changes (I expect I would acclimatise in a few days) so I've gone back to uncracked uncrushed pill until I am feeling more up to it. So for the time being continuing to live with the horrible side effects. I'm glad I dipped my toe in though but also super nervous about cracking / crushing pill again.
  14. MarliesDutch
    @LotusRising thank you Lotus! Appreciate your quick response! It’s so weird. I just seem to get worse last 2/3 weeks. Since 2/3 days more symptoms like wobbly head on the left, panic in the left side of my body, feeling ‘revved up’, falling asleep is worse, loops with music and constant depression and suid ideation. I’m Just really scared. Scared it get’s worse, scared this is tolerance and I’m stuck. 😞
  15. Tolk90
    Greetings. I had a great day on April 17th, 2024. While my wife was on a buh course. according to the account, I was able to walk it was about 5km at an intensive pace, I listened to music and jumped straight off the asphalt with the feeling that I had conquered this world and everything was under my control. At lunch we ate, lay down to rest and then went shopping. It was wonderful. We rode around the city at night in our favorite car, listened to music, the city glowed fabulously beautiful, we moved from store to store, buying clothes, I was completely in life, here and now. I had a moment when my wife was measuring things in the fitting room and I experienced a rise downstairs, my libido increased several times. And even in the evening, when we arrived home, everything was fine. The morning came, I woke up very early and immediately hit the alarm, it is bearable, I can control it. But she still steals all the good feelings. I went on my next wave, which lasted all day yesterday. I have a feeling that the withdrawal symptoms are very similar to bipolar disorder. On the day I felt good, it was so pronounced that sometimes I envied myself.
  16. j1290 started following Arild: Tapering Wellbutrin because of high sensitivity. Then hopefully coming off Lamictal.
  17. j1290
    FWIW, one of the tricky parts is it can catch up with you months after your last dose. I'm one of the unlucky people that had a hard time tapering Wellbutrin, but I was on it 20 years or so. I'm hoping your taper is smooth sailing, and congratulations getting off of Effexor!
  18. Emonda

    Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in

    Emonda replied to Daddylonglegs's topic in Introductions and updates

    G'Day @Daddylonglegs Sorry to hear you've had a setback. So the moderators can best help you, please complete your drug signature by following these instructions. Adding a signature ensures your drug history appears at the bottom of every post, making it more efficient for those trying to assist. This link should go directly to your own signature: Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature Jet-lag and the diazepam would certainly rock the boat. Unfortunately, it's part of the process. Have you used diazepam again, drank alcohol, used illicit drugs, changed the manufacturer of your AD, or had a stressor you can identify? Have you changed the dose you are taking? Why taper by 10% of my dosage? Can you identify with any of the WD symptoms on the checklist? Daily Checklist of Antidepressant Withdrawal Symptoms (PDF) Lots of things can temporarily set you back. Here are a few helpful links which you may have already read: Windows and waves pattern of stabilization Emotional Spirals Non-drug coping strategies Melatonin for sleep We don't suggest many supplements, but two that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. Add one at a time and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. Magnesium Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) Avoid alcohol. Don't change the manufacturer of your AD. This is your own Introduction topic. Each member has only ONE Introduction topic. Your own Introduction topic is the best place to ask questions and the place to journal your progress. This keeps your history in one place and means you do not have to repeat your story. Once again, welcome to S.A. Emonda
  19. 6Eggs
    Although it is far less common, some people have little to no waves and the improvement is more linear and gradual over time, but most have the waves and windows, but not necessarily any at the beginning. Slowly the constant bad starts to fragment into small bits of less bad, that is the windows and that's exactly it, it's just less bad that the very bad. Over time the less bad becomes a little less bad again and the bad waves a little shorter and not as intense, but you can still have just as bad and sometimes new and even worse waves come in. These I would call setbacks and are normal part of the recovery but do look like starting all over again. I am currently going though a rather large patch of these and it is pure hell, but right now I am climbing up into a window again and so far it's not as good as ones I was commonly having. Symptoms often morph into something new during a setback or an unusual combo of ones you have before but not together. And yes, windows can indeed be 100% or close to that, I have had many close to 100% myself again last year before I got off the last med, but many months after I successfully CT the first med. There is no expected pattern in the short term ( during tapering and the several months and couple of years post CT) when there is poly pharmacy involved. Multiple drugs complicates WD far more than usual because most commonly multi drugs are normally working on completely different biological mechanisms (classes of drugs). It's kinda analogous to having a flat tire on your car, it can't drive but multiple drugs is like having a flat tire, and a busted transmission. Both stop the car together and on their own, but fixing one or the other is not enough and there is more effort, resources and time required to drive again.
  20. hayduke
    Sorry to hear you are still having such trouble breathing, @Carmie. Glad to hear you were able to get outside with your bloke. Hope things ease for you soon. And that the new ipad is fun. *hugs*
  21. Carmie
    Thanks Catina, I got out again today with my husband and his carer. I’m really struggling to breathe though, so it’s hard to enjoy anything. It’s hard to settle. I’m just so very sick. Just taking an hour at a time. I’m getting a new iPad this weekend, it will be easier to look at the screen for me then. At the moment I’m just on a small iPhone. Will write little gratitude list: 1. It was nice to see the river. 2. Lovely to chill at open air cafes in the park. 3. Got a supplement I needed. 4. Received a new dry skin brush in the mail, I like doing my dry skin brushing to move my lymphatics. 5. Got some more paperwork over and done with. Have another lot that I’ll send away this weekend, all I need to do is sign it. 6. I’m onto my third book in the series I’m reading. I’ve bought the fourth book as well, the fifth book comes out in 2025. 7. I’m grateful for my husband’s support workers. 8. It was a beautiful sunny day with a perfect temperature. 9. I just had a yummy lunch. 10. Am chilling lying down, might read some more of my book. Im feeling pretty low as I’m not getting a break from my breathing, so I’m going to escape into a book📖📚 💛💛💛
  22. jon1
    I’m the same. At first I thought a window would mean feeling 100% better, the sun shining, and happily singing with the birds. In reality it’s more like feeling ‘less bad’. Sometimes the improvements are so subtle, I only notice I was feeling a bit better when another wave arrives.
  23. StDymphna
    Tried melatonin for the first time during my withdrawal, as my insomnia has worsened. It isn't as bad as some people on this site, but I am afraid it will get worse. I have been getting 5-6 hours a sleep a night and I am used to close to 8 hours.. I am also a college student so not being able to fall asleep at night has been really stressful. I bought 1mg capsules and split it, I don't know how much I took because the powder kind of went everywhere, but maybe around 1/4 of the dose. After I started feeling like I was experiencing an adverse reaction: headache, nausea, fast heart bear, loud stomach sounds/stomach discomfort, increased anxiety and agitation. Almost just like the serotonergic reactions I have gotten from my SSRIs. Although it is hard to tell because some of these symptoms are similar to my withdrawal symptoms, but I feel like I have experienced this particular set of symptoms enough to recognize it... Could i be having an adverse reaction or a serotonergic reaction from just a tiny dose of melatonin? I just picked up liquid Lexapro I was supposed to try and reinstate tomorrow but now I am afraid of getting serotonin syndrome from .5mg...
  24. Daddylonglegs started following Daddylonglegs: Setback 7 months in
  25. Daddylonglegs
    Hey everyone I went to Europe for a holiday at the end of last year, I was taking 50mg pristiq at the time. Something happened with the time zone change and the fact I was taking diazepam for the flight and was taking more that I had left over in London. I suffered a huge reaction for a week and then for 7 months I’ve been going through waves and windows and all the usual problems with WD, but generally coping and doing well. In the last few days though I have had a huge setback and feel like I did when I was in London and have been in a state of extreme anxiety and fear for the past 3 days. I really need some advice on what to do at this point, as I’m reconsidering reinstating which I don’t want to do. Has anyone experiences a setback this far out? And has anyone come out the other side of it?
  26. Daddylonglegs
    Daddylonglegs joined the community
  27. PortugueseSea
    Baseline; What is my baseline? I find this a very difficult question to answer. Today I feel like I’m having a baseline day so I’m going to have a shot at it: I’m sitting down on a bench, doing somatic tracking. I start from my feet, they feel normal, comfortable, perhaps with a slight tingling on my left foot. I go up my body, the torso feels normal, the arms feel normal. The chest is where the first sign of symptoms occurs. There’s a slight pressure on it, breathing is normal, there’s just this weight. Then, I reach my neck and head. Funnily enough, I often find myself comparing my neck and head to my foot and ankle. Because one feels so normal and the other so abnormal. It feels like there’s a ball of adrenaline inside the back of my neck. Or that it’s stuck to a low power socket. The sensation diffuses into the back and head. Then, behind my eyes, there’s this constant and intense burning, I’d say a 6/10 normally. These two symptoms together sometimes ofuscaste activation/agitation. The latter has been calming down and I sometimes wonder if the distress from the aforementioned somatic sensations has come to replace it. I continue walking, continue healing.
  28. Dee12h

    AndyPants: my story with Lexapro

    Dee12h replied to AndyPants's topic in Introductions and updates

    I would hold for awhile. I also research obsessively when I’m struggling or have concerning symptoms.
  29. PortugueseSea

    The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

    PortugueseSea replied to Healing's topic in Symptoms and self-care

    It is important to note that windows does not necessarily mean periods of time with no symptoms, it can also mean your symptoms calm down for a while before ramping up again. I don’t get any true windows, I haven’t had 0 symptom moments ever. What I do have is symptoms calming down for certain periods of time, though I’m not sure if that isn’t just my baseline improving between waves.
  30. Gonzo
    8 years ago I desperately wanted and needed to give definitive closure to the moral torture and moral hell of my life, to a be fully a "functional" and "moral" person, that is, I was trapped in this extreme moral loop that I couldn't escape from nor understand because I had never been able to understand and manage my moral feelings, emotions, trauma, reactions and conflict, I never had the moral support system and education that I needed to do so and get out of this excruciating moral loop, no ever explained all these things to me nor teach me how to deal with all these complex and overwhelming moral issues, I simply lacked that data and insight, so I was stuck in that moral loop, feeling immoral for feeling inmoral, for having those moral trauma responses. I had internalized my relational environment's twisted and insane moral system. When you feel immoral for feeling immoral, for having moral trauma responses, if the only way to feel moral and relieve the unbearable moral suffering is to be a "functional" person, i.e., a "moral" person, but you don't feel moral because in fact you feel immoral and are "dysfuntional" for whatever reason, and no one morally supports you to feel moral again and be "functional" but does the opposite of what you need, you are screwed. I did all this 8 years ago so I could escape from my excruciating, tortuous, hellish, terrifying, absolutely conditioning, disabling moral loop without anyone's moral support or understanding, in a definitive way, once for all.
  31. LotusRising
    It sounds to me like the symptoms are a little worse this last cut. If it were me, I would hold another week and see if they settle out. I can't say for sure, but I know the nervous system heals in patches, so it moves around to different areas. It could be that yours is working in a certain area, and then needs to move to another to do some work there too. That was my experience. If you feel the symptoms are too difficult, you could certainly try a microtaper. Or, you could just give yourself more time in between your cuts. I don't think you need to worry about tolerance withdrawal with holding an extra week.
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