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Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/19/2021 in all areas

  1. MOD NOTE : RealMe's Introduction thread is here ------------------------------------ Because of what I learned here and with the support I found here, I have been completely free of anti-depressants. I have not taken any mood altering chemicals in over two years, so I finally feel competent to write my success story. When I got here I was so confused, I'm not even sure what I was taking. I reported my symptoms to the psychiatrist, primary care doctor and therapist, and all were in total agreement that I "needed medication." Even in my confused mental state, I finally reali
    7 points
  2. A little update... I'm decreasing Paxil every 5 to 6 weeks usually by 10%. symptoms persist but I am managing a day to day life with them present. I have noticed an uptick in symptoms two weeks after each drop and this seems to be forming a pattern . All symptoms become more intense and this drop has seen the depression increase in particular. However the last two days have been more manageable. It’s hard not to get too worried when a symptom gets very intense but I am learning to ride through these times. Usually they will start to abate between the 3 and 4 week mark. I have had so
    5 points
  3. Congrats Brass! 4 years drug-free is a huge milestone, WOW! ☺️ And happy belly button birthday too 😉 It's been clear to me in my recovery that there really is no going back to where I was . . . I can only move forward to a place I've not yet been. And if in that place I can find some peace, connection, purpose, and wholeness -- then perhaps I'm living well. Recovery is a journey, not a destination. Best wishes on each new step forward you take 🙏❤️
    4 points
  4. Today marks the 4th anniversary of my making the jump to "0". It was a major accomplishment requiring a five and a half year taper. It has been a very eventful, exciting and at times stressful four years. I wouldn't have missed them for the world. After congratulations, the first thing everyone is going to ask is "are you fully recovered?". To which I will have to answer, "I haven't got a clue", but I'm functioning well in society, generally feel well, am in good health according to my doctor, and all in all enjoying life. But I do forget things, have body aches and pa
    4 points
  5. An update Recently, friends have been telling me they think I seem less depressed--read, irritable. (Either I've accepted w/d, or become resigned, or am putting a politer face on it, or in fact I'm slowly, reliably improving, I don't know, but rather than having dramatic windows, I've just been kind of plugging along, and perhaps can admit to feeling today more optimistic-- After getting the second Pfizer vaccine, I did have a set back, developing the same psoriasis rash that I had in the first year of w/d. It still hasn’t gone away again, so I’m waiting, and trying to thin
    4 points
  6. Londoner, You haven’t lived yet if you are 30 and you have been battling these drugs for 11 years. There is so much out there in the world that is awe-inspiring. You can’t appreciate it because you have been sick and anhedonic from the drugs, but someday, you are going to be so grateful that you survived. You have to, simply, believe me. You are going to come out of this in a few years with a zest for life, and you will be in your 30s! Once you get through this, you will never make the mistake of taking a drug again. You will stop having SI (suicidal ideation). It’s
    4 points
  7. @LostRunner you haven’t ruined your life . You will heal completely and the fact that some symptoms are getting better is testament to that . Time and patience are the key even though it’s the last thing we want to hear . Keep going .
    4 points
  8. So here we are, 2 months later. At this moment I am sort of in between a wave and a window, but for the first time I have had a window of about 26 days without any major WD symptoms!! It seems like things are changing... slowly but surely I do feel a bit better. The waves I have had since February have not been as heavy as before, so there is progress . I cannot say that I am totally fine yet - my nervous system can be very easily irritated, so I do need to remind myself to keep going slow and be aware of how I spend my time (also during my windows). BUT... I am very happy to n
    4 points
  9. The key is to distract yourself if calming yourself doesn’t work. There was, for me, a point in anxiety that distraction was the only way. I think that’s the point where anxiety and akathisia meet. The best non-drug coping skill for me was distraction. Books, Tv, movies, Netflix. Epsom salt baths are good if you have a book or can put the iPad on Netflix. Sitting alone with my thoughts was horrible. I needed distraction. Thinking about what’s happening and what you should do about it is not good. Tell people you are doing that or they will get very mad at you, but don’t actual
    4 points
  10. This is something I posted somewhere else and then saved. I know it's all stuff I've said before, but it bears repeating and further discussion. A lot of people, including healthcare practitioners; in fact, I guess, most people-- are operating from entirely the wrong paradigm, or way of thinking, about these meds. They're thinking of them like aspirin--as something that has an effect when it's in your system, and then when it gets out of your system the effect goes away. That's not what happens with medications that alter neurotransmitter function, we are learning. What happens when you ch
    4 points
  11. I agree that exposure therapy is too harsh for some of us. I've never found any appeal in CBT. ACT is the closest to CBT I can get. But I also experience sensory overwhelm and I don't believe, certainly for myself, that it is good to push through that to excess. I have some activities I will push on, for instance I try to ensure I turn up for the daily dog walk with my husband and two dogs. That is safe, local, and though challenging, it's generally survivable. Having made that my 'thing' I do not push myself to go to a shop. That's just too much and thankfully my husband is willing to
    3 points
  12. Checking back in with you guys. Been nearly 4 years since this happened? All things are good for me. I can confirm 1 million percent that Mirtazipine absolutely made me extremely ill (close to suicide), and I'm so glad to be away from that. I actually think that the state of the medical industry is focused purely around profit and not on treating the actual symptoms. Havent had any weird mental/physical problems since recovering. Anyone withdrawing from Mirtazipine, please see my journal. I can assure you - IT GETS BETTER. Peace until the next time.
    3 points
  13. Hey @Erell, I just wanted to catch up on your thread and say hello and offer you a hug. I'm sorry you're suffering so badly. I know very well how awful it is to feel you're making progress and then to have slipped backwards. Unfortunately, it's all part of the process. I also think that January to March are tough as we're in winter, our bodies have had enough of the dark. I believe this affects our mood anyway, so it can surely make WD worse. Also, it could simply be a wave. A long one, sorry to say. All part of healing from that Paxil devil. Unfortunately, it's a horrid
    3 points
  14. All is well, things just keep getting better. Emotions regulating, derealization gone, my new self now, ull get there, keep plugging away, time heals all
    3 points
  15. @Yesyes123 You’ve done your best to support your friend, and that is all you can do. Doctors can give quite the sales pitch when it comes to taking drugs, and it is very hard to resist a supposed solution in an easy-to-take pill when you are so sick and suffering. I have a close friend who developed an ongoing problem with his throat, with constant coughing, congestion, and now damage to his vocal chords. His doctor eventually thought it could be a “nerve” problem, and after an unsuccessful trial with Remeron, he wanted him to ramp up to 50 mg. nortriptyline. After my awful exp
    3 points
  16. Londoner, No, I didn’t go to hospital. I was afraid they would make it worse, and that that would kill me. I’m more convinced that I was right every time I read about someone going to the hospital. Making akathisia worse, longer lasting and more intense is far too often the result. I didn’t reinstate either. It had been too long, many months, before I found SA, and I decided not to take the risk. You must not panic. Reinstatements take time. They are not like the effect of benzos (which kindle and make things worse in the long run.) If you are having
    3 points
  17. I know. It’s infuriating. We can lead horses to water, and then they do as they wish. I wish I had known. I was 19 when I took the first AD (after having surgery — guess who is very sensitive to anesthesia but had no obvious symptoms of that except depression?) and I quit immediately because it made me feel worse, but I didn’t know it would take years to be normal again. So, every few years I tried something else a doctor gave me for “PMS.” Birth control pills, hormone pills, Premarin even. Why did a 25 year old need Premarin? As you might have figured out by now, PMS is mad
    3 points
  18. Hi So it has been 18 months since my immediate adverse reaction to Citalopram 20mg. I hoped and prayed by now I would be writing my success story, but not just yet it seems! What has changed; The remaining symptoms I have are, intrusive thoughts and a chatter mind/rumination. This is my most problematic symptom. I am not sure I will ever get rid of this, so may need to attempt some sort of therapy soon if it persists. The horrible thoughts the scary ones I had on day 2 of my reaction have gone for the most part! Lack of
    3 points
  19. That’s true @Erell Our bodies heal in their own time and in their own way. "I tap into the infinite supply of strength within me to stay the course when doubts arise, to maintain endurance when I’m physically and mentally exhausted, and to withstand the persistence of symptoms when I struggle to cope. Baylissa.com
    3 points
  20. Hi guys, It's been 2 weeks since my operation. Things are relatively well. The 1st week I had some trouble sleeping probably because of the anestesia. After 4 months of taking 10 mg citalopram daily I decided to start tapering again. I jumped to 9.8 mg for a week and now on 9.5 mg. Today I suddenly had a very awful feeling and started ruminating again how fast I should taper and if I'm going too quickly.....the same old thoughts again. I felt awful many times while being "stable" on 10 mg so I guess it's just normal wd. Well, that's it for now
    3 points
  21. Reagan is still taking an amount of psychiatric drugs that might cause anyone to be confused and aimless. If she is feeling guilty about getting into this predicament, you might remind her to forgive herself by saying "I forgive myself" every time one of these bad feelings comes up. She should not be tormented by something she couldn't help while she's trying to recover from drug-induced symptoms, they're bad enough on their own.
    3 points
  22. ADWD gives us the opportunity to address and work on many aspects of our thought processes while we have been reduced to a very primal state. The drugs tend to "burn away" all our preconceived behavior patterns and leaves us with just our most basic and solid beliefs. We can then build on them, examining each new emotion as it reemerges and adjusting it to our personal needs. I won't say the it will cure preexisting conditions, but it allows us the chance to examine them at a very deep level and redirect our life and thinking in a more positive direction. ADWD is a pretty horrific thing to go
    3 points
  23. Oh, I forgot to mention in my update...I now am the guardian of an eleven week old kitten. Got him three weeks ago....I've called him Obi ( yes, as in Wan Kanobi.)😂 He's an absolute delight ❣️ and a total distraction. Am getting next to zero chores done as all he wants is to cuddle and play. He's definitely a force for good in my life.
    3 points
  24. Topic title: Paroxetine Success Story The temptation to recover and dash has been extremely high and I can see why people do. I want to put this all behind me and move on with my life but I will drop a success story before I do, to hopefully help others as others have helped me. I turned to ADs in 2018 to deal with an episode of depression and anxiety that set in after a series of poor lifestyle decisions and a suboptimal elective surgery result. I have had both depression and anxiety before in life but worked through them naturally in the past. This time I was inpatient a
    3 points
  25. Hi all, it's a long time since my last post. I think sharing an update about my journey could be important, especially for people like me are taking Citalopram/Celexa. So here we are. From Feb 2020 to Aug 2020 I was able to reduce my dosage from 8mg to 3.4mg. I had an episode of depression (very strong) from Dec 2020 to Feb 2021, with suicidal thoughts, pure-O, insonnia, brain fog, etc. Surely triggered by the incredible taugh period we are all experiencing. I had to personally thank all members of this forum, cause I was really close to visit a psychiatr
    3 points
  26. This is absolutely true, a whole day can be changed simply by the kind, positive words of others. The world would be a better place if more were able to acknowledge this. Take care, We CAN Do This!
    3 points
  27. Good morning! The journey continues! I seem to be back in a pattern on sleep good one night and then sleep poorly the second. I had this back in January for a few weeks. So far this time around my bad nights I’m still going 5-7 hours of broken sleep. Which is much better than in January. I wanted to write this today because the positives I’ve noticed lately are my sound sensitivity has greatly reduced. I’m hesitant to say it’s gone but i really don’t think i’ve noticed it much at all the past few days. My startle reflex is also greatly diminished. Similar to sound. What’s replaced them are
    3 points
  28. Withdrawal is different for everyone. There will be ups and downs, waves and windows, during the taper and after zero. Listen to your body, monitor your symptoms as you taper, and slow down if you feel you need to. I know the measuring and weighing is a pain, but be glad you've got a method that's gotten you down to 10.6mg from 67.5. That's a real accomplishment and something to be proud of. Consider a D3 supplement, especially in winter when you don't get enough D from sun. It can be a little activating (I've done fine with it) so take it in the morning. Star
    3 points
  29. You may not need 15 mg. People start with a tiny amount. As they post daily logs, if all goes well, the Mods sometimes recommend trying a little more. Updosing is risky, too. It’s easy to get too much. Simply making the change too soon has consequences, as well. I have seen people take very small amounts, stabilize on those and then taper off of it. If you updose at all, it may be only once or twice. The dose you were taking (15 mg) has no relevance now that your body is hyper -sensitive. That may be hard to understand, but it’s true. People who have very mild WD symptoms an
    3 points
  30. Alan, I’m not upset with you. No one here is upset with you. We have all been through this wringer you are experiencing. We have all trusted doctors and doubted anyone who contradicted them. It took me months to come to believe that I was doing the right thing by avoiding drugs. I read here from July or August to December before I was sure that avoiding drugs was the key to my recovery. I was lucky that I avoided the drugs while I made my decision. I could have done the opposite. You have akathisia. The inability to sit still is classic akathisia, but
    3 points
  31. Alan, I’m so sorry you are struggling. Please believe me as I have been through it — you will not get better by taking any new drugs the doctor gives you. They will hurt you more. I know because I followed the doctor’s advice, and I became very, very sick. After I became so sick, I made a huge mistake by cold turkey-ing Zoloft. Don’t cold turkey mirtazapine. What you need to do is let your nervous system settle down by giving it consistency. Unless a Moderator here says otherwise, stay with your 15 mg dose, and be very careful to take it every day, without fail, a
    3 points
  32. Gloria’s 2 Year Post Zero POSITIVE Update It was 2 years on February 27th that Glo jumped to “zero.” The journey continues but I wanted to offer a brief hopeful summary to those suffering from antipsychotic withdrawal. I have been recording Gloria’s journey (now and 87-page document) since October 1, 2018. Before that I was using paper and pencil. 😊 I have a lot I could say but time is precious these days so I will keep it simple…. Overall, the “goods” keep getting better and the “bads” aren’t as bad as they used to be. For more detail, please read her thread. Timeline o
    3 points
  33. Over the last week things have, finally, started to get better. The dizziness has lessened considerably: it's still there, but it's not much of a problem. I've been out walking a lot without it bothering me. The brain zaps are still there, but have reduced both in frequency and intensity. The headaches seem to have a specific cause: the Salmeterol inhaler. Salmeterol is a vasodilator and a common side effect of using it is, apparently, migraine headaches. During the course of lockdown in the UK I've started cooking a lot of my own food from scratch and have been paying
    3 points
  34. Hi Erell-- Paxil is such a bear to get off of, I'm sorry to hear that you are having such problems with it. Stopping the daily toothpick is probably a good idea, but if things get really bad you could use a "rescue dose" on the toothpick. Just a once in a while thing to help in the really bad times. That little tiny amount should not cause any problems if used once in a while. We usually don't recommend skipping days to taper but with the toothpick there is not much of an option. Possibly using it every other day for a while and see what happens. When I get a chance I'll read your
    3 points
  35. @Erell firstly it’s not true for everyone that the further we move toward recovery the easier it gets. As you know we can’t base out recovery on anyone else’s. Each journey is unique. some people have windows from the beginning while others start to get them only after months or a couple of years and others don’t have windows at all. But none of this means that the person that has windows right from the beginning will heal quicker than the one that never had any. It’s not how it works. An example of this is Pugs success story. His windows were intermittent while Judith never had a
    3 points
  36. Thelongestroadhome's Introduction topic: Thelongestroad home: long road back with Lexapro I thought it was about time that I wrote my success story. It has been 30 months since I took my last tiny dose of lexapro in September 2018. I have always been a worry wort! Ever since I can remember I have found something to worry about. It never affected me negatively, yes it was annoying but basically I got on with life and had a happy disposition. All that changed when I surprisingly fell pregnant with my youngest child at 42 years old. My husband was not keen on having anoth
    3 points
  37. Erell, I have been checking in on your thread, just hoping that a solution will be found for you🙏 Your description of the symptoms are identical with what I went through. And remember I was all of a sudden hit with this after months with out the drugs. I believe it’s Paxil withdrawals, and also when our bodies are in constant high alert and anxiety it’s very difficult to balance it. Like Sebas said, making a decision when we are controlled by anxiety is very scary. Makes everything harder. In my case when I had made a decision to go back on fluoxetine I was terrified, even if I started wi
    2 points
  38. Hi Kris. I’m a survivor of Prozac withdrawal and taper. I was on Prozac for 26 years before I successfully tapered from 60 to 20 mg. I took a break from tapering for several years and am now tapering again. one of the things I realized I never talked about and hadn’t attributed to withdrawal until I saw other people’s stories was the rage you’re talking about. I had stopped cold turkey in 2012. At the time I had no idea about withdrawal or that that was what I was experiencing. It wasn’t until I went into withdrawal again in 2014 and then found this site that I realized my experience i
    2 points
  39. (EDITED 2x) @Reagan Is this correct? Regan took 3 mg a day of Lorazapam (Ativan) spaced out 1mg 3x a day for 4 weeks? From March 4 to April 8th? And the new psychiatrist told you to stop the Ativan cold turkey? Did he say why? I would defer to the Mods, of course, but I would think that you need a second opinion immediately. That course of action will throw her system into benzo withdrawal. Benzo withdrawal must be corrected within a very, very short period of time (less than two weeks) or the patient is running the risk of being ill for a very, very long tim
    2 points
  40. Bases on calculations the SERT is about 53% at a dose of 3,2mg. These drugs are extremely powerful at low doses. If you look carefully at the graph on page 4, you can also see that the SERT is close to 50% at a dose of 3,2%. The SERT at each dosage can be calculated with the formula shown on page 4 (under the graph). Here is a chart of several dosages of Prozac, showing the SERT (calculated with the formula mentioned above). % of 1 pill(20 mg) Dosage in mg Prozac % blockage
    2 points
  41. First traveling trip ever since WD and was a success for the most part. I went from exercising a half hour to doing 1.5 hour walks on a forest trail with varied landscape ( up a “hill”, lots of leaves and sand, etc etc) so it was more rigorous than just flat land. But, excited that I can exercise for so long. Not being able to travel was another one of my large regrets during WD, then Covid hit and it didn’t matter. As far as sleep is concerned (and I definitely was concerned) I got crappy sleep the first night. It turns out I still need a dark room and my EXACT pillow (it’s a thinner temperpe
    2 points
  42. HardTimes has done a good job of covering the emotional part of your question. It's really quite funny that depression is a side effect of antidepressants, actually not funny, but you get my point. All antidepressants work by causing us to feel nothing at all, about anything. They don't fix depression they just make us not care about it. So trying to change to another drug won't do anything to help the situation. The only way out is to stop taking them. Once we are off the drugs we no longer have their affects to deal with but go back to having to deal what ever got us on them in t
    2 points
  43. HI Manati, In spite of your situation, it is "nice" to hear from you again, if you know what I mean. I was thinking I'd post something here just to inquire how things are going. And I hope BrassMonkey gets back to you too, I just thought I'd throw in my two cents for whatever they're worth. Once again I feel a surge of familiarity with your situation. For the longest time it seemed that my complaints were primarily physical, along with the insomnia. I was often grumpier in the mornings due to the infamous "cortisol spike", but somehow WD seemed to be mostly a physical thing (b
    2 points
  44. Just wanted to say that I read through your story and I'm rooting for you, my man. You've been through a lot. Keep posting here for support. You've got this.
    2 points
  45. Spoke to a friend a few moments ago who experienced withdrawal when changing from Lexapro to Celexa years ago. She also withdrew very slowly from a Benzo and experienced terrible effects. She is very healthy and happy right now and it was so good to talk to her. She understood everything. She assured me that I wouldn't feel this way forever. We won't feel this way forever. I also came across a video on youtube that gives me hope. It's called "Antidepressant Withdrawal Success Story." This woman is beautiful and strong and went through so much.
    2 points
  46. @Erell I don’t think any family member really understands WD from these meds. My husbands a good kind man but he can’t listen anymore because he can’t for the life of him understand why I’m still going through withdrawal 21/2 years after starting my taper . And is even more staggered it’s going to take me another 18 months to be completely free of Paxil. And to be honest neither would I if I were him and he were me. It’s funny how our mind latches on to negative rather than positive stories . you talk about years healing from CT and then to start taper . How
    2 points
  47. @Longroadhome : I always find your words comforting, thank you. And thank you for mentioning Bloom in Wellness : I didn't know there were Success Stories there too, now I have new stories of healing to read ☺ I agree, every journey are different and the outcome is the same : recovery. I don't doubt recovery, I trust those ahead us. I'm just exhausted I think : since August 2019 I haven't had a day where I felt ok or good. Just days that were easier to survive, but always survival mode. I have now forgotten how it feels to just Feel yourself or "ok", being able to take a nap
    2 points
  48. @JAV1 Thank you for the congratulatory note, very much appreciated! Glad to hear that your anxiety symptoms have subsided, that's a really big deal and I am sure you are feeling great relief from that. I did experience both the burning sensation and tinnitus. I'll give you a brief description of how those went down for me during my withdrawal process. Burning sensation: I was out of what I considered the "acute withdrawal phase" and was still tapering. I was standing in a grocery store and suddenly felt as if my leg had touched something extraordinarily hot. I w
    2 points
  49. About to watch this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT5GnBn2DFQ Sherry Julo, Ed White and John Read – Online Support Groups for Psychiatric Drug Withdrawal
    2 points
  50. Oh my gosh!!!! I can't believe it! All those years ago, I was searching for stories of surviving cold turkey, and now I can say I DID survive!!! How crazy to see this thread that I started because I was terrified, but now I can look back at my past self, and others like me, and I can say with confidence that they can make it through.
    2 points
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