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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 09/24/2021 in all areas

  1. @Floss, hello. I am really sad to read your post. My compassion goes out to you, and I hope you are ok. I can also relate to a degree to what you are going through. My withdrawal from both benzodiazapines and mirtazapine were very painful. I lost so much time with my children when they were very young. It was impossible to be the father I wanted to be for a very long time. I had been on psychiatric medications from a very early age. I felt my brain was heavily damaged from the wide variety of medications I had taken. My withdrawal started in 2012 when I had a 2 year old
    4 points
  2. I had heard about "letting go" for a long time as an advice to feel better regarding well, pretty much anything in life. In french it's called "lâcher-prise" and I'm unsure it bears the exact same meaning as in English. It's about letting go, especially mentally, of the situations you cannot control. Not to dwell on them because you have no power over it, even if it is very upsetting, even if it is happening right now such as withdrawal. And I could get the idea behind it but I definitely could not apply it to my thought process. As it turns out, I have slowly accepted
    4 points
  3. I just did another dose reduction to 0.06 mg liquid Lexapro. I have been reasonably stable for the past couple of weeks, and it's been a little over 7 weeks since my previous dose reduction, so I feel ready to taper now. I've spent the past couple of months journaling each day, to see what causes spikes in symptoms. I don't consider them waves, because they only last a very short time, and they are not major or debilitating. I found that intense exercise, MSG, stormy weather, all affect me. Also, the Shingrix vaccine in July definitely affected me and put me in a wave. My cu
    4 points
  4. ((Dejavu)). Yes, there are some strong waves that hit like a ton of bricks. I can second the opinion that there will most likely be a vast improvement after this hard wave. It’s a nice silver lining. You have that to look forward to and enjoy. You have been through a lot. I know that feeling of exhaustion. Having to press on . . . Well, you will and you will get through. Somehow you will as you have before. Remember that your thoughts are not you, and having doubts means nothing except that you are human. It’s going to be ok. Rosetta
    4 points
  5. I'm now down to 0.02mg. The end is nigh. Here is my complete taper with my first day of 0mg being 23rd October 2021.
    4 points
  6. Tapering these drugs is all a balancing act between stability and feeling quite bad. If you go too fast, too big or too often you lose stability and feel poorly. To feel better you have to allow your body the time it needs to make adjustments and heal. From your signature I see that you have made 10 major drug changes in the last four (4) years. Your body doesn't know if it is coming or going, and is screaming out for stability. The harm as already been done. Yes staying on the drugs will perpetuate it, but not taking the time to stabilize will just make it worse, and in the long run increase
    3 points
  7. Zero eh...followed my body's hunch a couple of weeks ago and touched down. Lots of adjustment but feeling way better. Tons of omega 3 and magnesium, rest and of course external stresses come up but my friends are great. Therapy is remaining essential in my case, still gruelling but increasingly rewarding. Getting there. Digital detox is helping tons and helping my dopamine reset. I'll be infrequent for a while but back down the road. Sleeping well 6-7 hours and steady as she goes. Thanks Alto and all you troopers. Chat soon.
    3 points
  8. @Kate2301 Yup, ruminating thoughts are completely normal while going through wd. Those thoughts would occupy my mind for hours upon hours for probably a good year or more. The further and further I got along in the process, the less and less they happened. Eventually they would come and go occassionally. As you get to feeling better and better the thoughts start to go away and will stay gone. I used to call them my OCD thoughts lol. But like everything else, they eventually went away!! The best way I found to deal with them was to distract myself constantly. I was always keeping my mind and my
    3 points
  9. Dear Floss, Please seek help with people you trust! I understand and feel your frustration. As Altostrata says, YOU WILL HEAL. And yes it may be slow and frustrating. But you can do it! You are NOT a burden to your family. When i was 10 years old, my mother took her life, also after having taken medication that brought her in a situation comparable with yours. She thought it was better also for her family. I can tell you, 52 years later I still miss her. She left 3 children and her husband behind. And this influenced our lives very badly. I am not the kind o
    3 points
  10. Hi Fighting. The key phrase here is you’re doing better than you were a few months ago. A wave is temporary but your improvement is permanent. You’ll get through this wave and continue recovery in no time!
    3 points
  11. Thank you dear friends ❤️ I will keep going on, I still have hope to see improvements. I've read so many testimonies of healing, I want to believe that my nervous system can also calm down. It's just really hard to be a longtimer and to live in such a state day after day without a break. I still do a slooow taper of Prozac, with the hope that this molecule might be contributing to my symptoms and I might see some improvements as I lower the dose. I never really know if it's a good idea as stability is quite a complex concept when dealing with PAWS. I hope I'm helping my b
    3 points
  12. Hi @PsychologicalSafe15, i get better ! I still have symptoms of withdrawal but they are manageable. I think I'll need 3-4 more months until recovery ! I dream every night, because my sleep is so light (caused by Lexapro).
    3 points
  13. And the internet becomes a bad place. When I wrote that I was feeling crappy I think, probably because stuff wasn't going right. Lol. What you guys say is true, there is a bigger picture , I agree.
    3 points
  14. I havnt done a sleep study as I don’t think there is any point I have been damaged by the drugs and I believe now that only time will heal me I have learnt now over the years to just except that this is how things need to be until things change I have had enough of being passed around and given silly labels by doctors who havnt really got a clue try not to over think things your sleep pattern may return to normal in time I have seen many people on this forum and others who had huge problems with sleep who eventually returned to some sort of normality and many back to normal I never
    3 points
  15. ChessieCat, Wow! You are seeing the results of all your patience now. I’m so happy for you. I’m sorry any of this happened to you, but I think a lot of people have benefited from your experience and advice. That means you have something to show for all your suffering. After 30 years of ADs, you will be quite inspiration to others! Rosetta
    3 points
  16. @Altostrata OMG Hello! Didn't expect a personal hi from our founder! Huge fangirl!! I have listened to your interviews and this site was the start of me opening up my eyes to (what is possibly a minority, but a large one) of AD WDL. Thank you so much for being there, if it wasn't for the info on this site I wouldn't know how I was gonna get off the damn things (when they stopped working). I crawled through this site in my early days being constantly talked down from taking more meds and doing something stupid for which I am so grateful to the admins. And more than happy to share
    3 points
  17. ADMIN NOTE Also see Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms Deep emotional pain and crying spells, spontaneous weeping Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms Shame, guilt, regret, and self-criticism Dealing With Emotional Spirals Withdrawal dialogues & encouragement If you feel you cannot manage your thoughts and are actually suicidal, seek face-to-face help immediately, see For those who are feeling desperate or suicidal For many reasons, our emotions ar
    3 points
  18. So it's been 16 days (I think) since my last reduction, from 0.07 mg liquid Lexapro, to 0.06 mg. It's going OK. I'm having moderate to mild fatigue, some mild insomnia, and some mild DP/DR, but I'm having other issues, such as menopause (hot flashes), and some personal challenges I don't care to divulge, so I'm not sure how much of the symptoms are from the reduction, and how much is from these other factors. I have always had insomnia off and on since I was a child. Thankfully, the anxiety is pretty minimal. I still tend to ruminate, but that has always been part of my personality, so t
    2 points
  19. I appreciate you sharing your thoughts. And it's what I'm thinking too. There's no need for me to hurry to get off. It will happen. Just not tomorrow like I had planned. But I must admit that it still feels good to be taking such a small amount even though I'm not off.
    2 points
  20. The adverse effects from Zoloft appear to be diminishing. Please be patient, let's see what happens over a week before planning the next move.
    2 points
  21. No problem! We are happy to help. We have both been there, done that, got that t-shirt as they say. Alto is completely recovered, and I'm close to the end of my taper. We both are doing so much better, and someday, you will, too. You can read the success stories, on the home page about halfway down. They are very encouraging.
    2 points
  22. I do not think an updose will help you It may make you worse. Updoses are helpful when the symptoms are from dropping too much med too fast. Your symptoms are from adverse reactions to the eye drops, antibiotics and steroids. You have been stable at this dose for a long time. Changing it for a reason not related to why you are feeling poorly is likely a mistake.
    2 points
  23. Ken…… what can I say apart from thank you, thank you and thank you again! I took my 2 year old to a farm / playground today and felt great then started to feel strange again, no reason for it, just the usual weirdness that comes and goes but I kept thinking of the words you write above and it helped so much more then you will ever know, within an hour I was back running around with her. You honestly do have a great way with words and it’s given me so much more strength. I just wanted to ask, are you at a point now where you can relax again and sit and watch tv if you like? I am finding th
    2 points
  24. I can't change your opinion. But I can attest, I went from total erectile dysfunction to "normal" (what I was educated 15 years ago, is/was average sexual performance. Fluid amount, longevity and sensitivity.) Please consider reading my story and intro... I spent at least 2 years with no perceivable improvement. I'm not very good at explaining some things. I will mention "The Bell Curve" of recovery. Everyone is somewhere on the curve. Don't despair, that is not healthy. I think things will change with time.
    2 points
  25. Thank you both @Gratefuland @Carmiefor dropping by with your kind words💕 I am sorry Carmie you had to experience this treatment, no one should go through this. At least now we are very informed and we can take the power back. Hugs sent to you guys 🥰
    2 points
  26. @Armorallthank you for taking the time to answer my questions and provide some reassurance. I highly doubt anything we’ve experienced from withdrawal is completely permanent. I say in 10 years max, the majority of us on the site going through withdrawal will be 105% healed.
    2 points
  27. Just wanted to stop buy and say I was looking forward to hit 6 months since jumping to 0 and I almost forgot it was today!
    2 points
  28. Thanks Carmie. Just putting this here for my own record. I've felt quite reasonable all afternoon. My reduction was supposed to be to 0.05mg, however because of what happened I've made it 0.0625mg for the last 2 days. If I feel okay tomorrow I will go to 0.05mg.
    2 points
  29. And it also makes it difficult to know if something is helping or worsening things.
    2 points
  30. @ShiningLight 👋 Not sure which post you’re referring to but Yes, the change of weather was not easy. And, doing challenging new work (crisis hotline) has amped up stress. Anxiety/depression are the mental health challenge I am still working on but this time without pharmaceuticals. Congrats on your journey — your signature is impressive! Behind all those numbers is a lot of work to keep steady on the path. Well done!
    2 points
  31. Just journalling an update. I am holding tight on the reinstated dose of 3.9 mg quetiapine. And I have told myself that I will wait for one full month of WD normal before contemplating a slight drop again. I have been on 3.9 mg since beginning August, so I am into the third month of this dose. I am also trying to manage stress better so that I don't aggravate the stabilisation process. I am feeling much better though overall, but still have an anxiety blip around once a week.
    2 points
  32. Someone once shared this fable with me in a 12 step meeting, and it really stuck with me. It's about a donkey who falls into an old dry well, and since the donkey is old and not much use to the farmer, he decided to just bury the donkey in the well. The donkey decided to shake off each shovelful of dirt, and step up, and eventually escapes from the well. Recovery from WD has been like this for me. I find myself being taught lessons about perseverance and patience. Knowing how painful this is gives me compassion to help others. Shake it Off and Step Up What lesso
    2 points
  33. @Iman thanks for stopping by! You have a lot of patience! You are so smart to be going slow and steady the way you are. You will get to the end, most likely with a lot less symptoms than those of us who rushed things, had. It will likely be a huge relief and a very happy day when you get to zero! @Greatful Hi there friend, thank you for your kind words. You know, actually I did not worry about surviving without the drugs but probably because I realized that the drugs WERE the problem. I could look back and see how each new added drug gave me side effects that led to me being given
    2 points
  34. It’s kind of funny but IF this is a new kind of depressive episode bought on by some of the events listed in the previous post then it still has a waves and windows pattern! Basically since my last post I have been in a lovely window. No rhyme or reason. Nothing changed. I went to bed one night feeling awful and woke the next day feeling fantastic. And that has been ongoing since then. Im not even going to try to analyse it any more. I know for sure that the windows are great and the waves are awful. When you are in a window the waves are like a distant memory. I have to remind myself th
    2 points
  35. Hi @Oaktree1 I want to tell you how sorry I am that you are struggling, and what you have had to endure in life. I think life circumstances play a big role in how we perceive ourselves in life, and incidents that we have gone through. We identify ourselves with the hardship we have gone through and start to label ourselves with all kinds of “diagnoses “ which in fact are normal emotions when life is extremely hard and unfair. I agree with arbor that you should not look at yourself as a mentally ill person, rather a human being that has gone through really hard times and you are trying
    2 points
  36. @Elyssa143, yeah, recovery is a long, uphill road! I am glad to hear you are out of the horrific stage though -- it is so bad. I think that our nervous system was fragile, then toxic substances were added for a while, our body changed in response, and now we are a little more more fragile. At least I am. I too have days when what you speak of -- dread, knots in stomach, fatigue, apathy -- are there. Hell, it can vary from hour to hour. I just try to ride the waves and wear this life like a loose cloak, not dwelling on how I wish it was -- happy, free, hopeful -- but how it is and facing it, ev
    2 points
  37. I think it is just like regular ADWD waves where we need to try different non drug coping techniques. And remember that something that worked at another time might not work at different time. It's good to have a toolbox of the non drug techniques to call on when needed. And sometimes it's just a case of AAF. This post was made in relation to anxiety, but it is useful for other symptoms too:
    2 points
  38. https://www.theonion.com/man-s-neuroses-really-putting-genuine-compliment-throug-1819577488
    2 points
  39. I would pursue this with getting a second and third opinion from specialists. While people get various forms of headache and body pains from withdrawal, we're just a peer support site. We cannot say for sure that symptom is iatrogenic when you have evidence of a pituitary tumor. At what point and what drug combination do you think you developed serotonin toxicity? Your drug history does not indicate this. Please keep daily notes of times o’clock you take your drugs, their dosages, and your symptoms throughout the day. We need to know how you feel before and
    2 points
  40. Today's update is that, and I'm very happy to say this, I haven't truly felt in withdrawal, meaning big symptoms, since end of August. A note about this "milestone": as I approach the 8 months mark, I am currently as I type this staying in the very place (friend's house) I was in, when withdrawal unexpectedly started for me, marking the beginning of this journey. I am staying in this home for the first time since then. And so far, I feel alright (I tend to associate things, be it places, songs, smells... with bad memories, to the point it forbids me from enjoying said things)
    2 points
  41. I’m sorry you are feeling this way. What ultimately helped me with this was finding my reason why I was doing this, accepting the symptoms and transforming the experience. I think when you can stop fighting your experience but rather move with it and use it as a vehicle to grow it no longer matters as much how long it will last, it becomes a unique opportunity that you keep growing from. I liken it to Navy Seals training, specifically Hell Week. Even the strongest can break during this time, the mind starts to tell them they simply can’t do this and they believe it. Only a few can
    2 points
  42. ((((((Erell)))))))). I wish I could do something more to help you. Yes you are right, WD can be really hard. This is a good thing. I've done this too, and it helps me as well. Please hang in there. I continue to pray for you.
    2 points
  43. @FarmGirlWorks Hi FGW, Thanks for stopping by. It's going great. Saturday I cut to .043. I see daylight at the end of the tunnel. How are you doing?
    2 points
  44. Hi there @Toast thanks for this response. I appreciate you and you reaching out. what medication did you taper? I’ll be praying for you. Sounds like we have similar stories and It makes me happy knowing someone in the same boat as me was able to get off. I would say I’m maybe 10% better. Im not sure if it’s stabilization or getting all the meds they threw at me out of my system. They tried so many medications that caused HORRIFIC reactions. Im thankful to be sleeping again however I am sleeping 15+ hours a day sometimes!
    2 points
  45. Hi AndyPants, just wanted to offer some support. Hang in there!
    2 points
  46. @Dejavuthanks for stopping by my page. ❤️ I do notice that my nastiest waves produce the most promising windows so hold on to that hope for yourself. I hope you have decent ways to distract yourself from all the emotions—a good binge on Netflix or something? If you need any show ideas, let me know, I’ve watched them all. take care—Sheera
    2 points
  47. Good morning @Katy398. Nice to hear from you. Sending you my best wishes. I am at the 3-year mark and unfortunately still struggling. My baseline overall improved and I am back to working full - time (from home - which means I can get up and rest or journal or engage in any self -care when I need to between meetings) but I still have cloudy memory and mood issues, muscle pain when I exert physical effort (unable to go to gym even though in the first year of WD I could - but back then my main symptom was anxiety and the gym helped me). Now my symptoms are different. I also have zero libido or a
    2 points
  48. Because you're feeling better, I added our cheerful "here comes the sun" symbol ☼ to the title of your Intro topic, to show you're recovering. Please continue to let us know how you're doing. I hope you will add your story to our Recovery Success Stories eventually! I developed histamine intolerance myself (from aspirin injury and food poisoning) and had to go on a restricted diet. Fortunately, I was not sensitive to salicylates (but I still have problems with spinach, an oxalate). When people have food sensitivities, all they can do is to systematically ex
    2 points
  49. Update: I have been in a better over all better spot,, still having wd symptoms but finding my brain is a little more clear. I feel like I had adjusted to the 2% cut and healed some even, so it has been 25 days since I cut 2%, I decided to try cut 3% today. I will be leaning on those of you who are tapering and still feel wd symptoms. What is wd normal?
    2 points
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