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    Altostrata

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Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 07/01/2021 in all areas

  1. Imagine how strong we are gonna be
    6 points
  2. Hello all, In 2009 I had an adverse reaction to only 4 pills of Lexapro (Escitalopram) which took me around 4.5 years to recover from. My road was a very bumpy one as I had lots of waves, so it was very difficult for me to see where I was in the recovery process. And though it took a lot of time to really feel recovered, in the end I did. So to everyone who is still in the thick of it, keep on going and remind yourself that even if you do not feel well at the moment, the next big recovery step can be right around the corner. I cannot recount how often I was about to los
    5 points
  3. Thank you for your thoughtful post. This site has a policy of avoiding discussion of how neurotransmitters might cause various behaviors, emotional states, and psychotropic-related symptoms because 1. Despite decades of many publications about this topic, all outgrowths of the "chemical imbalance" theory, nobody knows anything about it. Not psychiatrists, not neuroscientists, not addiction medicine, and not people commenting about it on social media. 2. Despite it being a sciencey-sounding myth, there are thousands of Web sites and posts discussing "chemica
    4 points
  4. Lillo, seems like you are looking to the proposed ADs as a way to upgrade your mind/life and hoping that you will not return to your previous version of distress. In my experience, you are not going to get that. I was prescribed ADs at age 22 due to anxiety related to school. Initially, the anxiety got worse for about 6 weeks - I'd have night sweats and morning terrors for about a month, panic attacks. Dr said that would get better and it did. Once those side effects resolved, it felt like things were better because the intervening 6 weeks were so horrible. The next year I was numb for t
    4 points
  5. Hi everyone, just updating my progress. Still holding at 2,5mg olanzapine but today I was thinking that I am feeling more emotions and my libido also is finally normal (I have to say it was absent for years). I believe my brain is regenerating a bit, maybe even bypassing some of the drug's effects or I am just getting better, or even there's some hypomania here, it's really hard to tell at the moment. I have to deal with the emotions and that's sometimes tyring, I journal a lot, talk about what I am feeling more often. I believe exercise and my diet and my effords on adressing my emotional iss
    4 points
  6. Tweet's Introduction topic is here, Titled: Tweet my story, and they also have numerous supportive posts around the site. (mmt) Hello all. It has been a little more than three years since I went cold turkey off of 20 mg of Prozac per day. I'm not the same person that I was back then. I was wondering who I would be when it was all over because it had been so very long since I had been without medication. Going cold turkey was descending into the depths of hell precipitously at 3 months off and staying there for an intense 18 months. Many nights were spent curled in a ball in t
    4 points
  7. @Leo1983-- The main objective of this site is to help people remove antidepressants from their life so they can get back to living a life free of the interference of the drugs. While this is happening we also try to teach coping skills to get through the hard times of ADWD, but ones that will also be of use once a person is drug free. We are not about "curing" anyone's mental health issues but have found that the time spent in ADWD is well used to address the issues that got us involved with the ADs in the first place. This, however, is up to the individual. We have found that ADWD
    4 points
  8. Thank you, @ErellI always love hearing from you. Today I'm having a celebration: my brother will be visiting. We're going to go the coast (where we spent so much time as children). I notice how much people's kindnesses help me to sleep, help me with all the symptoms actually. At first I worried that my w/d symptoms embarrassed other people, but somehow he has been able to widen his understanding and want to help. My heart is as close to a (hiccuppy) song as it's capable of right now💗. I share the blessing of good will with all of us. My, god, who could ever believe how we struggle...
    4 points
  9. @Shellbell ok so listen, when you meditate, the goal is not to be with out a thought. It’s ok that your thoughts are all over the place. The goal here is to observe them with out making any judgment on them. When we meditate, we are practicing to step back and look at our mind, it does not happen over night, well no good habits happen over night anyways. You are not your mind, Identification with your mind, which causes thought to become compulsive. Not to be able to stop thinking is a dreadful affliction, but we don't realize this because almost everybody is suffer
    4 points
  10. I want to share one last thing with you Shellbell in the hope that maybe it will resonate with you. When I first started this journey and ct’ed MMJ I was in PAWS. It was an absolute hell that I would not wish on anyone. My heart would pound day and night, I would sleep maybe two hours every three days, I had intense akathesia, I had such intense dp/dr that I would question whether I was real or not. I could not drive a car and was barely functional. I thought I had permanent brain damage and was terrified. It took months to slowly get better but even then I fought the way I felt. I wanted to f
    4 points
  11. Hi @Altostrata thank you for posting this, i was very close to messaging you when i saw that persons post and i actually got sucked into reading some of the links she posted. I have already been vaccinated so it was un-nerving to read to be honest and its the last thing people on this feed need isnt it. Worrying about more stuff! The majority of people on this thread have already been vaccinated too, so i cannot imagine that her post was helpful at all to anyone, just scaremongering. The press do a pretty good job of that already! Thanks for removing the post x
    4 points
  12. Dear Erell The middle of my WD and recovery were the worst for me as well. It seemed each day was no better than the one before and held no hope for a better tomorrow. But ever so slowly things did get better. You have an indomitable spirit that is so much stronger than the fear. You will recover!
    4 points
  13. Hello, @AndyPants, @getofflex, THANK YOU. Your words mean the world to me in this difficult moment. It is strange because knowing that there's more people like me makes me very sad(and angry!), but at the same time, makes me feel less lonely. Today I still have lots of symptons (palpitations, internal shaking, anxiety,pins and needles in feet and arms...), But I don't want to die. Actually, It is quite a nice day here in the UK and I even went out a bit to the garden with my nephew. @Faure, yes I talked to the neurologist. He gave a prescription of amitripty
    4 points
  14. I chanced late on this topic but I also struggled with this quite a lot and still do sometimes. A friend of mine put an interesting perspective on this by saying "you did the best you could given the information, resources and support you had and the assumptions about the world you had formed up to that point and the future that you expected." And that is basically all we can do. It is important to learn from our pasts but you can't judge your past decisions by today's rules/laws. It is also important to remember that WD does cause these ruminations and regrets in many so you
    3 points
  15. Go back in the media three years and Simone Biles was an athlete who was doing great and winning competitions while she was taking "anxiety medication": Simone Biles opens up on taking anti-anxiety medication video (4 minutes) Around 2 minutes in she mentions medication for anxiety but doesn't disclose what it is, but perhaps a benzo or an SSRI. And this was just announced in the media on July 27, 2021: Simone Biles' Exit Puts Mental Health Center Stage as Athletes Embrace Well-Being The problem with the messaging for the harm of th
    3 points
  16. It sounds like you have a lot of good things going for you. Personally if it were me, I would try some non drug ways of coping with the panic and anxiety before going on any drugs. But it is your decision to make with your doctor. If you do go on the drugs, it can cause adverse effects for some people, and if you are on them any length of time (1 month or more), it can take many months or years to properly taper off them. Most doctors don't know about this. Personally, for me, all the antidepressants did was cover up my problems, not help me to solve my problems. It made me
    3 points
  17. I did so too when finding I couldn't sleep. Then I went back to high doses of Olanzapine that put me out 12 hours at a time prior to cold turkeying but I still didn't sleep, so that is proof that it was the drug withdrawal, and it's knock on effects on my nervous system, causing insomnia. Based on the 3 datapoints you provide I think you have no good reason to continue entertaining the idea that you all of a sudden and just at the time you withdrew developed a "causating mood disorder" in such a way that this special mood causing you symptoms in itsef was not caused by withdrawal,
    3 points
  18. Welcome @christabel I am new here also but so far I have found this site to be source of comfort, hope and truth. I’m glad you found your way here too. I’m so sorry to hear of the withdrawal pain you are feeling now. Please hang in there and remember that you are so much more than the sum of your withdrawal symptoms.
    3 points
  19. So glad to know you're starting to feel better dear Arbor. Hoping your sleep will strenghten soon 🙏 Oh I love that too ! It is an amazing news, even the trauma from WD does fade. A friend from SA recently told me that he is now living a very "boring life" and just love it : one day we will cherish boredom too ❤😄 Take care !
    3 points
  20. Maybe's Success Story is here As is our custom, I will close this topic. Please congratulate Maybe in his Success Story topic.
    3 points
  21. Hello @Altostrata, hello everyone! I'm doing well enough, thanks for asking. I am still having vivid dreams every night which seem less imaginative than the once were, and now they seem to be more scenes of moments in my life, such as events of the previous day. It may not seem like such a big deal, but I often get confused between events in reality and those that appear in my dreams - Things I say or even actions taken I will mistake from time to time, and this can upset me, especially when I'm feeling low. I have learned a lot, together with my wife who has been with me throug
    3 points
  22. You sound more optimistic now. Yes, we know doctors don't know anything about helping people go off the drugs, that's why this site exists. The secret sauce to going off is coping with the withdrawal symptoms. We advise tapering to minimize the symptoms, but you still might feel odd from time to time. It's important to listen to your body and not panic when you feel odd. Often this brings up fears of incapacitation that spiral into thoughts of suicide. But those thoughts are only thoughts, you can manage them or even learn from them -- they may be causing by
    3 points
  23. @Outsider I will have to ask you to please watch your language. I have edited you recent post to remove inappropriate words. This is a family friendly site and we have a good number of minors as members. I totally understand your frustration, but we have to maintain the right tone. Your cooperation in the future will be appreciated.
    3 points
  24. Wonderful to hear from you, @DataGuy. I am so happy to hear that you're doing a bit better. This is truly uplifting news!!! Especially that you're getting better sleep. I'm really interested that fasting can make a difference. I hesitate to stress my system with more than what I'm doing. It's hopeful though and worth considering after getting reports like yours. Sleep and difficulty concentrating continue to be my toughest issues. Is there a difference, do you think, in how benzo's and AD's cause these similar withdrawal symptoms? Maybe our biological clocks are simply messed with one
    3 points
  25. I dont have a problem with over sleeping im the opposite. But I do have a lack of motivation and im just getting through the day. I get it. My therapist tells me not too be too hard on myself and if watching Netflix all night every night is what I need to do at the moment its ok. Maybe my body needs to rest because im so exhausted from huge anxiety during the day. This will all ebb and flow. Maybe you are just in a wave right now. Ride it out. We are all here . It's a comfort that we aren't alone.
    3 points
  26. Folks, this site is a NO ANTI-VACCINATION ZONE. Any anti-vax information will be hidden. Please save us the trouble and do not post it. If you want to find it, go out on the Web and look for it. From what I see, covid-19 vaccine adverse effect information is NOT being hidden at all. Unlike most drug post-marketing surveillance, regulatory agencies all over the world are watching it like hawks, and reporting significant case series as they appear. The case series are, for example, 8 cases of X in Israel. This indicates an adverse reaction that's
    3 points
  27. I'm doing well on 1mg (capsules). Had a mishap (long story, I won't go into it) and several doses were missed over a week or so which may have been on two consecutive days, not sure, but I did not experience any withdrawal. This was about three or so weeks ago. Mood is good, generally all is well. Overall, I'm much better on 1mg than I was on a full dose. Interestingly, in this part of my taper I have found it easier, not harder. If doses are missed, I am noticing no issues. (Not something I plan to do, but life happens.) It should be noted that I'm on 1% of my highest dose of 100m
    3 points
  28. Dear @getofflex Sending you all my support in hopes that the wave will soon end. I agree with arbor. Here is a quote that I find helpful: You don’t have to control your thoughts; you just have to stop letting them control you. Conscious breathing is something that I find helpful to snap back into the present moment. Also wanted to let you know that I appreciate all the help and support you bring to this site. Now just take good care of yourself we are here for you 🙏
    3 points
  29. Its never too late I would get the same intrusive thoughts that you are having and they would seem so overwhelming that I felt like I couldn't breathe, but I would force myself to keep breathing!! Sometimes you just have to take it one minute at a time if needed. Just keep pushing through one minute at a time. Eventually the minutes become hours and the hours become days. Each day you keep breathing you are one day closer to being healed. You can do this!!
    3 points
  30. Leo, I’ve just come out of a stress induced wave at 31 months. When in it I was convinced this would go on forever and nothing had changed in 31 months. Looking back now that I am out of the wave I can see that I am a lot better than I was in the early days. I don’t spend nearly as much time in bed or on the sofa. Hang on in there Leo, be kind to yourself, and when it passes and it will pass, try to make a note of the progress you’ve made over the years, there’s no point doing it now the brain can’t see progress in a wave. For now be kind to yourself and distract yourself until this nasty wave
    3 points
  31. You can still have all that but you must develop good stress and stimulation management skills. Not what you want to hear I know but it is what it is for now, and it won’t be like that forever. Try to be patient. Easier said than done. I know.
    3 points
  32. Holding at 0.25mg. I squeezed in one more cut last week just for the satisfaction of being at 1/10th of the smallest tablet they issue. Have done another 7 day fast and shed a good amount of lard. It was much easier than the last one as I learnt to make my own veggie broth for nightly nourishment. My energy levels were high and I could comfortably have continued. Will see about another round while we have quarantine's silver lining of not having to show up outside anywhere for weeks at a time. It's really important for me to get rid of this belly and liver fat, a lot of diseas
    3 points
  33. @Shepthank you! That helps a lot. I need to remember also that in a wave everything is distorted just like as if I were under water in a real wave. Sometimes I can float but when it gets rough I get caught up in the undertow and get frantic. Thank you as always for your encouragement.
    3 points
  34. Hi all! Just touching base to let y'all know that the doldrums, the black dog, the "whatever it was" has passed, and I'm back to one foot in front of the other. I have modified my daily practices so that they are more fun, less demanding. Instead of doing every practice every day, I do tai chi & qigong daily, and add in another practice, which may be physio, walking, meditation, or even yoga. I still don't even get that in every day, and try not to beat myself up. Right now, classes have not been on for about 4 weeks for me - but they start up next week, so we'
    3 points
  35. No problem. Wishing you the best. I know that groundhog feeling you describe, mine was feeling like I was losing my mind. Even if is dissipated a little as long as it still is there it can be hard to get past and feel any progress. One day for me it all started to fade away and it all felt so silly. On my bad days I would try anything I could to feel better but couldn't, yet when I actually started feeling better I was able to do so with no effort. That is so frustrating we know what is happening yet have so little control. I am glad I have been able to provide so hope
    3 points
  36. Dear @ErellDont apologies for stating how you feel. You are not complaining! You are suffering and this is why we are in this forum to express how we feel and supporting each other. You are allowed to do this. We all understand. You are doing everything in your power to get better, and we are always here for you no matter what or how you are feeling. Big hugs to you 🤗
    3 points
  37. I made a rule for myself--no fortune-telling. Thinking how long...will I always feel like this...if this doesn't end in 6 months,...etc. For me this was a great rule since fortune-telling only brings a person down. Instead I tried to focus on where I was 3-6 months ago compared to now which was always uplifting. One day at a time and if you have to look somewhere, look back in time and see how far you have come.😊
    3 points
  38. Leo, I’m so so sorry this is happening again and again. Our symptoms are so similar, my last dose of escitalopram was Dec 2018. If it weren’t for this website with thousands suffering very similar symptoms I wouldn’t believe it myself. Hang on in there Leo we can do this, we shouldn’t have to do it without professional support but that’s where we’re at at the the moment, so it’s head down and one step in front of the other. Let’s hope in our lifetime we see big changes in psychiatry. For me that would be my consolation prize for this long, long journey of endurance. Take care remember you’re
    3 points
  39. Okay....so it's been over 3 months since I have checked in. Oops!!! Life is going really good!! BMS is the PERFECT taper for me!!!! Very little symptoms....from time to time something random will burn or tingle (fingers, toes) but only for a short time. Anxiety is very minimal....but I still don't like being by myself. Still fearful of that...although I'm not by myself often. But the thought of it still scares me. I do believe it's the medicine that has that affect on me, because I've never been scared to be by myself. Hoping it goes away as my dosage eventually goes away. But I am VERY
    3 points
  40. 6 months since reinstating - I have been laughing this week, really laughing. It caught me by surprise and I didn't realize I had been missing that. I am able to experience joy again, at least for now. I'm also waking up earlier and have more energy throughout the day.
    3 points
  41. @Summer29 I was proscribed Prozac for panic, obsessive thinking and mild depression over 20 tears ago. Every time I would try and go off I would have waves of panic. It was probably withdrawal, but I didn't know any better and of course the doctors were clueless. I have tried to get off about 4-5 times. I feel weak and flu like. I don't get much for aches but definitely feel horrible, weak, shaky, nausea, depression, anxiety. You may experience many weird things. If you can, you should look at the Symptoms & Self-care forum. They have threads of members sharing the symptoms
    3 points
  42. Hi Erell If it helps, I felt much the same way in the middle of my taper and WD. Many people on the old PaxilProgress site seemed to be recovering at a faster pace than me. My problems centered around health anxiety and guilt, but it was the same persistent feeling I wasn't making any progress. And like you, I felt nobody other than my therapist could understand or truly support me. But I did make it through to recovery. I can't say there was one day when I woke up and told myself "I'm better!" Rather, it was a slow realization that some of the things that would hav
    3 points
  43. Can’t believe how potent these drugs are! You are at nearly 1/100th of the maximum dose yet you still need to taper cautiously! Still at least at these levels i suspect it is most likely just having an anti- histamine effect so at least your serotonin and dopamine systems are most likely healing/back to full signalling capacity. You’re nearly there (although it may not feel like it). Don’t lose heart. Even if you still have to go a bit more cautiously than you anticipated in the grand scheme of things it won’t be long till you can be drug free.
    3 points
  44. It keeps copying my previous comment and I don't know how to delete it. Anyways I dont want to only post when I'm bad. Today apart from a minor cortisol spike when I woke and some dr I feel pretty good. Like much better than I've felt on other good days. I don't think it's mania either because I feel pretty calm. I can come back to this if things get rough now.
    3 points
  45. It's very good to hear that you're doing well. You're doing a great job with the slow taper.
    3 points
  46. Hello Summer29. I hope things will stabilise with the reinstatement, I am so sorry to read about all that you've gone through. Better days are ahead, and by coming on this forum I hope you will find reassurance and advice to help you get through this! I am experiencing this myself. But I do notice that it is slowly getting easier lately. I'm still anxious about going out, but it doesn't make me as physically sick from anxiety. So I have hope that in some time, genuine joy upon going out with friends will come back. I believe that in the "success stories" part of the
    3 points
  47. Hi lovely @Erell I was just thinking about you guys in here. I always appreciate you dropping by my thread 💗 Was just about to do an update. Yeb I hear you, dont want to go to that dark place again for sure.😉 Hope you are ok, you are such an inspiration erell I am always rooting for you. Update, I have made a few changes in my routine since on my vacation. I have done exercise almost daily, taking it slow and steady, no pushing this time, but slowly upgrading little by little. Also doing slow changes with nutrition, adding more vegetables and clean foods in. Really focu
    3 points
  48. Unfortunately there isn't a magic pill or wand to help. Time and making smart decisions are your path to healing. Give yourself time to stabilize where you are at and if you decide to make drops do so slowly. For me I made sure to make healthy life decisions and tried to stay patient. I made sure to eat healthy, try to get enough sleep, light exercise, did not drink alcohol or do drugs, and kept a very conservative tapering schedule. I went from feeling like I couldn't remember anything, learn anything new, had trouble getting my thoughts out and speaking intelligently, and just an
    3 points
  49. Brain fog is a common symptom while on SSRI's and coming off them. I experienced both. I had worsening brain fog while on them, one of the reasons I decided to get off. At first in my withdrawal this started improving, then I had a setback and had a bad wave - this made my brain fog extremely bad. My CNS was all out of wack. As I have settled into a long window and continue to make progress my brain fog has improved greatly. I don't think I am at 100% yet, but feel mostly there. You will recover from this. There are plenty of success stories of people here who as their bodie
    3 points
  50. @Frank85 Sorry you are going through so much! First, some reassurance....all the symptoms you describe are very common. I had them all, and still have some of them occasionally. Mia1 and Hanna72 have posted some great information about being in the "Now," rather than trying to get out of where you are now and into a better place. Yes, we all want that better place, but sometimes there's not much you can do to get there. It has to arrive in its own time. You say, "I just want to be myself again - smart, quick-witted, confident, enjoying all of life..." That is wish
    2 points
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