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  1. It's not your fault. It's within your reach. The work will mostly be yours to do. Those were the triad I had to learn to get the courage to attempt to be Paxil free, and to heal the awful anxiety disorder I had. (The following is Paxil and anxiety disorder centred.) The path I took was part communal (listening and learning from those around me), part medical relationship transformation (while I failed to gain a professional partner, I still believe it was right to try to get my doctor on board and HELP me withdrawal gradually), and part spiritual/existential.
  2. Hi everyone! First of all, English is not my native tongue and this is the first post I have ever written on a forum, so please bear with me. Writing this success story and sharing it with you have been a dream of mine for a long time. I never thought I would reach this milestone. I have mixed feelings posting this, as I know some of you might find it discouraging. If you are new to withdrawal, please stop reading here. This is a post for those of you who have been suffering badly for years and need proof that it's possible to recover even after a very long time.
  3. ADMIN NOTE Pennylane's Introductions topic is here PennyLane26: Need advice-Paxil Withdrawal Happy New Year to all! I figure today would be a great day to share my success story, and hopefully provide some hope to those struggling. First, my drug history: I was put on Paxil 15 mg in May of 2012 for anxiety caused my life circumstances. I had great "success" with the drug and then weened myself off of it a year later (at 25% intervals) in May of 2013. I had the typical withdrawal flu symptoms, but felt pretty much back to normal in about 6 weeks. Then 4 months later, all of
  4. MOD NOTE : Toulouse's Introduction Topic is here --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello all. I wanted to come here to give my success story. If you go through my first thread called My Paxil Withdrawal Journey, you can see for yourself the misery and pain that I went through, particularly the first 2 years of getting off of Paxil. I had so many symptoms, ones I've never had before.
  5. Hi @Alexander So glad to hear you have recovered from Paxil WD . well done !! You are very brave it’s such an awful drug. I am in the process of tapering from Paxil too. Can you list the symptoms you had from tapering to recovery ? thanknyou for coming back and sharing it gives us all hope it’s such a difficult journey .
  6. It’s finally time. I wanted to stop back in (formerly a PaxilProgress member) and do what I should have done a while back. I want to give an extremely positive and 100% true update. I think before getting too far ahead, it’s important for me to tell you all my history. I began suffering panic attacks as a teenager after a horrific injury during a sporting event. Everything else in my life was fine, never abused, always loved, it was just one of those things that happen to everyday people. After my first panic attack I freaked out, being a kid and never experiencing anything more than
  7. Hi i just thought I’d pop in and give an update about how things are now. i was talking with a friend the other day about what all id gone through with Paxil and I realized, I’m so far from where I was and how much I’d relied on this site as well as npanth’s articles during the very worst of everything. i remember reading success stories and wondering if the mental anguish would ever end for me. I can say, it has and it does. Here is my topic: So, basically I was on Paxil for about 14-15 years. I’m 40 now and have been off Paxil for
  8. Hi Noh1995! 1-Yes. Within a year and some change, experiences that began and endured while on or withdrawing from Paxil moved out of my day to day and into memory. It was a gradual process. The number of days they were present became less frequent until they slipped into "I don't remember the last time when..." 2-Oh I never chased after normal, nor a "returning". If I was to return to my old self, I would be the self that had a horrendous anxiety disorder and about to get her life bludgeoned with Paxil. =D So I couldn't go backwards, only forward. But I know what you me
  9. Hi coco! I read in your thread that you also developed an autoimmune condition due to Paxil and I’m now on the same boat... I’m pretty sure I have drug induced Hashimoto’s (I thought WD couldn’t get worse) this makes me extremely sad but I just wanted to ask you how you dealt with both? Thanks a lot
  10. Link to BrassMonkey's Intro topic Brassmonkey- A Success Story To some people six and a half years is a very long time to take to accomplish a goal. For me it’s been one tenth of a lifetime, one third of the time I was actively taking psych drugs and one quarter of the total time I was on Paxil. Given where I started six and a half years ago and where I am now I would gladly do it all over again if it meant regaining my life in the manner that I have. Six and a half years seems like a long time, but I can so clearly remember the night I made the decisio
  11. Hi again, @Erell! Yes, I needed to be proactive. But whether that's necessary or not probably depends on what symptoms you have and for how long. Let's consider muscle weakness. I was more or less bedridden for several years. There's no way I could get up from that bed and carry on as before Paxil, even if my wd muscle weakness had disappeared from one day to another. I no longer had the same body as before. I had lost a lot of my muscle mass, balance, and coordination. We must distinguish between wd symptoms and the consequences of the wd. A person waiting to be back to
  12. I'm going to update this and call my wave over. Although a lot of previous withdrawal symptoms had kicked in, this wave turned out not to be just a withdrawal wave - it was late-stage perimenopause. After skipping a number of periods this year, I started having some really severe hot flashes earlier in October, which let me know this was less about withdrawal and more about menopause. I'm 52 years old, so not unexpected. And I'm more than thrilled about not having any more periods. This is going to make the post-zero withdrawal waves a lot easier and I may see a lot more healing ov
  13. Thank you SO much Aurorax! That means so much! I am having a rough day- my EPI- Exocrine Pancreatic Insufficiency is causing pain and nausea today so I don't feel as perky and up to starting anything new today. I am active on Benzo Buddies and sent your story to a dear friend on there who is in Sweden and has to struggle with her English. She has had so many of the same issues that you've had and she is in year 4 of her benzo wd and still so sick. My failed paxil wd had basically the same sxs as my benzo wd so I know she can learn a lot from you. Did you dry cut your pills? I hav
  14. Hi Karen, congrats! I just wanted to know your experience when you jumped off July 2019 what your withdrawal experience was like? The first 3 months, 6 months, to now? I read your original story which is similar to mine. Started on one med, switched over to another, poop out, fast taper, switched, horrible wd symptoms, etc. Now I am on 20mg Lexapro AND 10mg Paxil. Currently slow tapering the Paxil first and using my mg digital scale for preciseness. But wanted some assurance that going the slow route my withdrawals will not be as harsh as all the other horrible withdrawal experience I already
  15. Thank you Aurorax for the info about your pill cutting. I am ordering a scale. I had actually not pictured grinding the entire pill into a powder but rather scraping off tiny bits until I have either the amount I want to remove by weight or the remaining pill at the weight I want. I guess I need to find out what most people do when it comes to that. It's still kind of vague to me but I think that is the route I will take. I loved what you said about intrusive thoughts and not believing that you are your thoughts. I was off paxil for 4 months and so sick but did not realize it was
  16. Hello thank you ariellab I would like to thank you for sharing your experience Also, I want to ask some questions, if you please 1-Have all of the Paxil withdrawal symptoms completely disappeared? 2- How do you feel after the withdrawal symptoms disappeared, have you returned to your normal nature? 3- Has the feeling of inferiority disappeared and that you are less than people (it is common to feel this feeling during withdrawal) Thank you
  17. The Two Wolves yay! That's a great classic. ❤️ The un-patienting I was hoping to describe was broader, where I layered the problem of systemic patient identity self-erasure, with the "who am I with x,y,z health burden" form of identity hijacking, which can happen after a long convalescence after a surgery or trying to keep afloat of a chronic pain in one's day to day. I had ignorant GPs throw Zoloft and Paxil at me. Same experience for me in the end, but different skies to shake my fist at I guess. Later in life I had really helpful psychotherapists and psychiatrists for things not
  18. @Aurorax Hallo Aurorax your story let me cry you are a very strong Person all the best for you hope now you can Live !! I am in the middle of hell i took paxil for 17 years and quit it two times too fast after reinstate in feb 2019 many things still were very Bad so i thougt cannot tollerate paxil and i got second Time Too fast off, a Big mistake i fight Daily for survive. My Main issues is insomnia sleep never came completely back even after reinstate. I was a very good sleeper 40 years of my Life and with the first too fast reduction sleep was gone und never come back. Then docto
  19. Thank you so much for your comment, @Leila. If I could turn myself into a mythological creature, then I would choose the Phoenix: There is a bird in love with its death Who, for the sake of a new beginning Will burn itself alive Adunis (Syrian poet) I read through your Introduction tread, and I love your description of wd: …/ this unbearable sensation like my brain is like an electronic control unit that goes crazy /…/ Don't let your brain trick you into giving in. You are 9 months out and have the worst time behind you. One thought that helped
  20. Thank you Aurorax! You make more sense than many of us who are writing in our native language. You are certainly wise beyond your years and I understand what you mean about regretting. We have a little sign on the mantle in the bedroom that says "Don't look back. You aren't going that way". It's so simple but so true and my regret at this point is that I want to be off yet another drug and know it may not be easy. I wonder too, at times, what I would've been like without Paxil even tho I didn't think it helped or hurt me for a long time. Of course I could be very wrong about the hurt part- if
  21. Hello brass monkey, Do you have any advice for me ? Actually I'm on paxil 7,3 mg since 13 days and deppresing I am at 7.3 mg and the discouragement and the state of absolute sadness and suicidal thoughts have returned. I had started again a decrease since June 2020 to 5/100 then I gradually climbed to 10/100 but already the pass to 8.1 has been more delicate. I usually have more problem 2 to 3 weeks. but this b**** added an increase in anxiety and depression. the problem is that i have been affected by two problems since january 2020. a complete with
  22. Oh wow..... that's so funny! I should get that attitude... a paxil withdrawal party! 😀 I am so conflicted. As I do better and better post other wds I am wondering if I really want to rock the boat. But I have to know. I want to get real emotions back. Thank you so much for your support! I too am a perfectionist, always proof read my posts (although I miss some booboos) and also keep that VPN on. If I was your age and knew how I am sure I would use the cryptocurrency. I am still so private. Only a few people know anything about my xanax wd. Very few people knew I was so sick because of paxil w
  23. Aurorax, I keep coming back to your posts and rereading. Plus I am copying bits of what you say and putting them in messages on benzo buddies. I tell them about the coolest young girl from Sweden who had the most amazing story and is an amazing writer. I have told you before how much you are helping but I keep being amazed at your thoughtful and detailed answers to everyone who reaches out to you. It is such a gift! I am friends with a lady from Sweden on BB who is 4 years into her benzo wd recovery and is not having any windows. From my benzo wd and my failed past paxil wd I can s
  24. Yes, we do! So happy you are doing much better, too, @Cocopuffz17 I read your Success Story. I didn't have alopecia, but I lost about 50% of my hair on Paxil. It grew back once I was off, during acute wd. I was also diagnosed with autoimmune diseases. The symptoms of Psoriatic arthritis (very likely a misdiagnosis) disappeared as soon as I was off the drug. My iritis disappeared 3 or 4 years ago. I refused to medicate my "rheumatic disease" or to take the painkillers they offered me (opioids). I was already numbing my emotions with Paxil and couldn't stand the thought of nu
  25. @Deepu, you had some important questions that I wanted to answer: Why did I start an SSRI? The reason I started Paxil at age 19 was that I didn't know how to handle my emotions. I started experiencing intense fear and unbearable emotional pain out of nowhere, which made me feel like I was losing my mind. I see many reasons for this that I didn't see back then. One of those reasons was witnessing a friend almost getting killed in an accident. He was hit by a car driving 45 mph and broke his back and skull. I sat by his side on the ground while waiting for the ambu
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