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  1. I was on paxil for 18 years, my stupid doctor switched me to lexapro without weening the paxil (this happened more than a yer ago) My brain went into total dysfunction. I haven't been close to the same since. Since this time Ive went through a brutal ativan withdrawal and been on 10 different medications. I recently tried to get off paxil 10 mg and made it to 2 1/2 mg and then went into withdraw. I also was weening off abiIify during this time as well. I know now to soon and too fast. I am experiencing extreme fatigue, flu like symptoms, suicidal ideation constantly and some insomnia. Its horrific. I have since bumped my paxil back up to ten mg's about two and a half weeks ago but there is no improvement. As of right now I am also taking 300 mgs of wellbutrin which I've been taken for 6 months. I also take trazadone for sleep. Can someone give me some advice as to what the best path would be from here? I am pretty desperate.
  2. Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - Panicpax: Back on clonazepam Dear all i am happy im not alone, i have read many posts and see that at least in this world i am....not alone. 3rd attempt to taper 20mg paxil.... almost 2 years now and stuck at 3.6 using liquid paxil. my way was 0.2mg every week till now is great but as i reached 3.4 for a few days anxiety creeped , insomnia and waking up sweating and panic . my problem is even updosing 0.2mg which i did makes me feel a different worse.( agitation weird thoughts half the day. immediately updoased 3.5 and was back to normal only 2 days but still not enough so went to previous ( 10 days back 3.6 mg and hoping to stabalize here somewhere. then hold 2 weeks if im ok and then resume slower starting from this dose as i know SERT occupancy is telling my brain whops here is another drop ( had 1 same enstance at 9.2mg ) aggressive running, getting a cold or any fever makes me need to wait and gives WD symptoms. i have no physical WD just panic anxiety and insominia mild depression... usually only feeling down on day3 of a drop and first 2 days sleep is crappy. im interested in the cortisol thing i truley believe its the cause that WD symptoms i have ( awaking in panic and sweating and anxiety waves and windows) this past week trying to stabilise..... so...... vit C 1g and baby ASpirin at bedtime as the pubmed mentioned . an endocrinologist told me L-carnitine too. will start aspirin first and see it lowers in after a week of use ( 1.5mg per kilo so maybe 2 aspirins in 1 week if it didnt work. i get scared when i read some people have extreme trouble after 1mg .... if my experiment works ill still go slower and listen to my body but it feels like im crossing 2 building roofs on a thread holding a pole in my hands to balance.. cant go up or down right now without feeling it big time. any suggestions???
  3. Hi all! I’m really happy to be on this platform to learn as much about tapering off of antidepressants as much as I can. I have used Paxil/Seroxat for over 20 years and many of my attempts to get off them failed miserably. My last attempt this year also failed, and got me in severe turmoil. Temporarily used Oxazepam and Diazepam to help me survive that period whilst Paxil started working again. Little did I know benzodiazepines were such a difficult thing to get off of, so I tapered off it very slowly. Based on this ordeal I figured I’ve always been really stupid (understatement!) cold turkeying Paxil. That’s why I’m here to learn as much as possible so that I can wean off Paxil in the best possible way so I won’t make the same mistakes again I did in the past. Hope to learn a lot here!
  4. Panicpax

    Panicpax: Paxil victim

    Hi everyone ! Finally off clonazepam for the forth time while to get back to normal on 12mg of paxil. Now off 1 month and wasnt hard to quit clonazepam the 4th time ( 1mg made liquid with a compounding pharmacy always worked for me). Anyways, im ok if i dont jog or have sex, if i jog i have bad sleep for a few days, sex maybe just 1 day, if both it can go on for more then a week that i wake up every hour, thank god no anxiety or mood change though. Anybody have any explanation? How to manage this? I just need to jog 15 minute 5 times a week so when i decide to taper paxil again in 6 month i am protected from a higher chance of relapse into panic disorder ( no panic at all if i stay put on any dose )
  5. Tpain

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    I was in inpatient for major depression, suicidal ideation and was also dependent on Ativan which I weened off while I was at my first facility. Yes, all of the depression happened because of the med switch. I was on Paxil initially for social anxiety disorder. The trazadone puts me to sleep, I wouldn’t get any sleep with out it. Yes I’ve been on it since June
  6. Altostrata

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    For what condition were you an inpatient? Did all this happen since January 2019, when you switched Lexapro for Paxil? What effect does trazodone have on you -- 50mg since June 2019, correct?
  7. Hallo. I have been on Paxil for 20 years, 20 mg I went down to 10mg, then I switched to Prozac After 15 months tapering, I am down to 1 mg In my country there is no liquid for Prozac, but I can resolve them in water, just don’t know how to measure. I would appreciate a help with that. Thank you
  8. Tpain

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    - April 2018 2002 started 20 mg of Paxil - December 2010 started 30 mg of Paxil - late January 2019 was switched from Paxil 30 mg to Lexapro 20 mg. I was experiencing poopout. Was not weened off Paxil. Went into major withdrawal. - late June 2019 - fast tapered Paxil and went on Effexor 75 mg’s For three weeks and then 150 mags for three weeks. - late June started 50 mg Trazadone for insomnia -mid August 2019- Fast tapered Effexor and went on Zoloft. - Mid October- tapered Zoloft, went on 20 mg if Paxil - early November was put on abilify 2.5mg worked decently but then stopped working. - early January 2020 weened off ability as it didn’t work anymore. - early February I started Lithium at 300 mg. - early February was put on 150 mg of Wellbutrin. and then 300 mg after not feeling any better after 3 weeks. - late February was put on adderall after I was diagnosed with adhd. The adderall helped me stabilize and worked pretty well. - Early March weened down Paxil to 2.5 and weened off of Lithium. Went into withdrawal. - Since the withdrawal I bumped up to 10 mg of Paxil to try and reinstate. I am now on 10 mg of Paxil, 300 mg of Wellbutrin and 50 mg of Trazadone. - April 2018 2002 started 30mg of Paxil - late January 2019 was switched from Paxil 30 mg to Lexapro 20 mg. Without weening off Paxil. Went into majorwithdrwl - late June 2019 - fast tapered Paxil and went on Effexor 75 mg’s For three weeks and then 150 mags for three weeks. - late June started Trazadone for insomnia -mid August 2019- Fast tapered Effexor and went on Zoloft. - Mid October- tapered Zoloft, went on 20 mg if Paxil - early November was put on ability 2.5mg - early January 2020 weened off ability and - early February I started Lithium at 150mg. - early February was put on 150 mg of Wellbutrin. and then 300 mg after not feeling any better after 3 weeks. - Early March weened down Paxil to 2.5 and weened off of Lithium. - Since the withdrawal I bumped up to 10 mg of Paxil to try and reinstate. I am now on 10 mg of Paxil, 300 mg of Wellbutrin and 50 mg of Trazadone.
  9. Hello, I have been on Ssris for the past ten years, different doses and different meds. I started on lexapro 20 mg when I was 18 and get great for years. When I hit 22 I started lowering my meds due to side effects and simply being uncomfortable being on meds. I got down to about 10 mgs and stayed there for a while. 2 years ago I did a fast taper and got down to 5 mgs way too fast. I experienced withdrawal really bad without knowing what it was and thought I was relapsing on anxiety/depression. For a year I messed around trying to find the right med and trying to find the right combo. I now realize meds were a problem all along and all I want is to feel normal and be off of them. I also realize I’m going through withdrawal and have to be patient. Ok, time to backtrack. Eventually I decided to go on paxil about a year ago after trying a slew of other Ssris. The reason being that my dad takes it and I thought it would help me out. Bad idea. I quickly got up to 37.5 mg in only about 4 months bc it didn’t seem to be helping. After this, I decided meds weren’t the answer and started dropping my dose, not knowing the correct method or pace. My first drop was to 25 mg controlled release and it was horrific. I decided to wait for a while before making and other drops. About 5 months. Back in may of this year I dropped again to 20 mgs regular release. I’ve been experience protracted withdrawal for almost 4 months now from that drop. Things seem to gradually be improving, but I just hit another bad wave and am looking for advice/support. Also, I’ve been on different doses of Ssris for a long time. Since I was 18 and I’m 28 now. I’m thinking about jsut holding head until I feel good before tapering the correct way. I just don’t know how long I should wait, or when it’s time to start again. Any help is very much appreciated. Thanks!!
  10. Tpain

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    Thank you Shep, I will start a daily journal. My symptoms don’t really change at all during the day but I will document what I’m feeling, the time and doses of my meds and my sleep pattern. The adderall was helping me. Once I went into withdrawal from the Paxil the adderall didn’t effect me at all anymore. I have now stopped taking it.
  11. Tpain

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    Thank you Shep for the resources and responding back. I know my situation is a mess with all of these meds I’ve gone through. My main question for everyone is how to move forward. I am in really bad shape. I have bad akathesia, flu like symptoms and suicidal ideation. Should I stay on the 10 mg of Paxil or go down and a bit more to stabilize? I would obviously like to get off Paxil but right now I don’t think it’s in the cards. Is there anything I can take to ease a little bit of the severity? Do think it’s reasonable that I can get back to where I was about a month ago when I was stabilized with the Paxil and the adderall? I know it’s hard to say but how long do you think it would take to get back to that point ?
  12. Tpain

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    Withdrawal for me happened when I tried to go from 5mg to 2.5 mg of Paxil. I had flu like symptoms, worse depression and anxiety, worse insomnia and brain fog along with the suicidal ideation. I missed a couple of your questions I take Trazadone for sleep at night 50 mg it’s heIping me now get 6 hours of sleep. I take my Paxil and Wellbutrin in the morning around 9 am and the trazadone at night around 10 pm. Sorry if I am causing You trouble but I am just trying to get used to his format. How should I configure my signature if 12 lines will only allow for half of my med story?
  13. I was on a medication for depression,anxiety, and panic attacks for 2-3 yrs than I went off the med , but 2 yrs later I relapsed, than I started to take 30mg paxil. - On Paxil 30mg for 15 yrs than I tapered it off around aug 2013 went down to 20mg for 3 month than 10mg for 2 month than 5mg for 2 month than 5mg every other day for 1 month than 5mg every two day for 1 month than 5mg every there day for 1 month than 5mg every four day for 1 month than 5mg every five day for 1 month than 5mg every six day for 1 month than 5mg every 7 day for 1 month than 5mg every 8 day for 1 month July 30 2014- Went on vacation- I took a 3 day bus ride, then a wk later, i took an 3 day bus back. On the way back all I was very anxious and had very negative thoughts. I had a panic attack on the bus so I took a 5mg of paxil. When i get back home, it didnt go away and havent slept in days. Anxiety, despression panic attacks got worse. Went to go see family doctor, now i am back on paxil 20mg daily. Aug 10, 2014 - 5mg (on bus) Aug 11, 2014 - 10mg (at home) aug 12, 2014 - 20mg (after seeing dr) so here I am taking 20mg of paxil again daily. I think I tapered down to fast, because i didn't know better. -This is the second time I try tapper off Tapper off 20mg for 11 months went down to 10mg right now. when I was on 11mg I was ok but I just start the 10 mg 10 days ago April 25, 2016 Right now I having anxiety attack and depression. what Should I do. go back up to 20mg or Stay on 10 mg. I am doing this on my own I don't have a doctor and should I go see a psychologist or a doctor better. If you have any suggestions or advice, please feel free to post. thx
  14. I'm wondering if anyone else has or had experienced worsing withdrawal symptoms when switching from Paxil CR and Liquid SOLELY to the Liquid Suspension? I have been tapering slowing Since January by the following: (1 Pill = 12.5 CR) Starting dose of 2 (12.5 CR'S) = 25 MG OF CR Jan 21st: 1 Pill + 10mg liquid (2 weeks) 2/4: 1 Pill + 9mg Lq (3 weeks) 2/25: 1 Pill + 8 mg lq (1 week) 3/4: 1 Pill + 6 mg lq (2 weeks) 3/18 1 Pill + 4 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/1 1 Pill + 3 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/14 1 Pill + 2 mg lq (2 weeks) 4/29 1Pill + 1 mg lq (16 days) 5/15 1 12.5 mg Pill ONLY (9 days) 5/24 12 mgs liquid (8 days) 6/1 11mg lq (12 days) 6/13 10 mg lq until today 7/10 I have a feeling that the liquid isnt nearly as....either effective or has as long a HALF LIFE as the company would have me believe. When I first started the taper I was taking the 1 pill and taking all the liquid at 9 pm at NIGHT. Within 16 hours of the night dose I was having bad symptoms until I took the next dose. This went on for a week. I then experimented by switching the timing of the liquid to the morning at 9 am. Withing 2 days the withdrawal syptoms had switched from the evening to the morning! What clearly was happening, was the liquid was NOT staying in my system anywhere near as long as the CR. After a week of suffering the withdrawl symptoms at the new time, my doctor suggested taking half the liquid dose every 12 hours, since it obviously had a SHORTER Half life than the CR Pill, since my syptoms corresponded to ALMOST EXACTLY 16 hours after the last Liquid dose. With 3 days of splitting the daily dose into every 12 hours the symptoms had mostly resolved. Everything was going ok (not perfect but much better than the horrible symptoms when only taking the liquid once daily) UNTIL I recently finally got below the level of the pill and am ONLY on the liquid. Since I switched to the liquid ONLY I have been taking it every 8 hours -or 3 times a day, but the worsening symptoms have returned. Not as bad as when I was only taking it every 12 hours, but worse when I still had the CR for the majority of the dose. I THINK THIS LIQUID IS CRAP. I've only dropped 2.5 mg's in almost 8 weeks and I'm having WORSE symptoms than when I was dropping a 1mg every 2 weeks no problem. (Again with the CR pill as most of my dose. ) Any ideas? I mean, the fact that I had horrible symptoms correspnding to 16 hours AFTER the liquid dose, regardless whether I was taking it at 9am or 9pm, tells me it has to have a much shorter half life than they are saying, expecially since once I started taking the liquid 5mg ever 12 hours instead of 10 all at once things cleared up within 48 hours. And now that all I have is the liquid, I'm worse even though I'm dropping at only half the speed of when I still had atleast 12.5 CR. And! I'm taking it EVERY 8 hours: 3 mg AM, 3 mg Afternoon, 4 MG Night. I notice the electrical shocks in my head close to the time I am scheduled for the next dose, as if it's only in my system about 6 hours at a time. Help![/size]
  15. Shep

    Tpain: Paxil withdraw

    Hi, Tpain. Welcome to Surviving Antidepressants. That's quite a list of drugs. Please note there are several major drug interactions between Paxil, trazadone, and Wellbutrin: Drug Interactions - Paxil, trazadone, Wellbutrin Here is some information on withdrawal to get you started: How psychiatric drugs remodel your brain Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery video (4 minutes) The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Please add a signature. Include drugs, doses, dates, and discontinuations & reinstatements in the last 12-24 months. Also include supplements. This will help us give you the most accurate advice we can. Any drugs and supplements prior to 24 months ago can just be listed with start and stop years. Please use actual dates or approximate dates (mid-June, Late October) rather than relative time frames (last week, 3 months ago) Spell out months, e.g. "October" or "Oct."; 9/1/2016 can be interpreted as Jan. 9, 2016 or Sept. 1, 2016. Please leave out symptoms and diagnoses. A list is easier to understand than one or multiple paragraphs. This is a direct link to your signature: Account Settings – Create or Edit a signature. What time(s) of the day are you taking each of these drugs?
  16. Hi RhondaF, When did you taper your Abilify last? I noticed that you were on 5 mg of Abilify, back when you did your first post. And then, it looks like you've done a taper of Zoloft recently too? Are you taking both clonazepam and ativan at present? If you go to AccountSettings/signature you can update your signature, for clarity. I'm not sure when or if you did a 50% taper off Abilify. You could also note when you started Abilify, at what dose, and then when you changed it, and to what dose. Then I saw a mention of Paxil, in your narratives too. So now, am really confused as to what a day looks like, even with your current medications. Or what your current medications are. Try a day of daily notes please. You'll see a sample note in that link. And do your best to get a 24 hour period in, with the times on the left, then each drug by name, and then dose. Continue with the times on the left, and please also note any symptoms throughout the day, when they occur, on the right. Here's our topic on: Tips for tapering off Abilify(aripiprazole) 2.5 mg is not really such a small dose, as far as aripiprazole goes. There is more in the link, as well, on how to get smaller doses, without just essentially CT(coldturkeying off). And it has a really long half life too, meaning that changes made today, may not register for awhile. And then......WD(withdrawal) may come back and hit you really hard much later When was your cholesterol and triglycerides last checked? And is this then a recent upswing in their levels. For right now, if I were you, I wouldn't just jump off your Abilify. Try to give us a bit more information, via updating your signature, getting some more dates in there, and then doing a daily notes, and posting it here, as well. Thanks RhondaF. Best, L, P, H, and G, mmt
  17. Hello everyone, This is my first post and I want to apologize for my poor English, I’m a French Canadian. I will try my best! My story started in 2007, when my GP put me on mirtazapine because I was suffering a big bout of insomnia, following a stressful year. I was a young 27 year old woman without any health issue and I was very naive at this time. I trusted my GP a lot. Big mistake! I went to see a psychologist and did some cbt. This allowed me to taper down my mirt, so after 5 months of tapering, I stopped mirtazapine. Of course, no one has told me about withdrawal syndrome, so I thought that the rebound of insomnia (from mirtazapine) was a relapse. This is where my GP decided that I had a general anxiety disorder. I was now labeled. She put me on celexa 20mg (with seroquel 25mg). 4 months later, I got pregnant, so my dear GP asked me to quit Celexa and seroquel asap. I immediately stopped seroquel and I tapered down celexa from feb 2009 and stopped it by July 2009, at 6 months of pregnancy (My GP assured me it was safe for my baby). I already had the intuition that a rapid weaning was not a good idea. I didn’t suffer any w/d symptoms at that time and finished my pregnancy in pretty good shape. Few months later, 2 months after giving birth, I had a relapse of anxiety in the form of my dear insomnia coming back. Of course, my GP wanted to put me back on AD. This is where we started to have trouble finding an AD that was working for me. Celexa wasn’t working anymore. I tried cymbalta and it wasn’t working either. I tried Paxil and it finally worked. I stayed on Paxil for four years and a half. By mid 2014, after some stressful events, I started to feel that it wasn’t working anymore. My GP asked me to quit Paxil fast then switch to mirtazapine. So I quit Paxil within 3 weeks. After the last dose, I had very hard time for the first 3 weeks. Then she put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Pristiq 50mg. I stayed on this cocktail for some years. At some point, I asked my GP if I could stop my AD, but she explained to me condescendingly that I was like a diabetic with insulin, I couldn’t live without those meds. She was destroying my self confidence. In 2018, I decided to stop Pristiq because I wanted to have only one AD to take. I taper down Pristiq , by switching to effexor, relatively slowly (but more than 10%) and stopped it by January 2019. My GP upped my dosage of mirtazapine to 45mg to compensate. This is where problems started. I didn’t feel any w/d symptoms in the beginning, but slowly, during the next months, I started to feel more and more anxiety. By May, I had a big relapse of anxiety related insomnia. I overcame my insomnia with cognitive behavioral therapy, without any meds. This gave me some confidence so I decided to wean myself of any drugs. I started a slow taper of mirtazapine . I decreased my dose by 10% each 2 weeks. In august, I reached 30mg of mirtazapine and decided to make a little break from tapering and stayed on that dose for few weeks. Unfortunately, during that break, I’ve had the biggest relapse of anxiety of ALL my life! Of course, my GP asked me to return at 45mg of mirtazapine. But it didn’t improve my mood. Since then, I’m struggling with a lot of anxiety and I’m not able to get rid of it. I’m experiencing big mood swings. Sometime I see some improvement, then the next week I fall again in a deep hole of anxiety. I don’t understand myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body! Worst of all, 4 weeks ago, I started to have OCD like obsessive thoughts and that’s very unusual to me, because I never had OCD before and I'm 40! I’m actually seeing a good psychologist, but even with that, I’m not able to cope. So I’m here and I really don’t know what to do. I’m very desperate because I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I have the feeling that mirtazapine is pooping out and that it causes some of my problems. Maybe I’m always on the rebound of stopping Pristiq to. Who knows! This is why I would like to stop this drug and heal myself from all this toxic stuff!! Sorry, I had a lot to say... Thank you
  18. First I want to thank this community for providing such critical support to so many in need of informed guidance. I am here to seek advice for reinstating after having tapered of Lexapro WAY too fast (throwing my brain off a bridge). This was my second time on Lexapro for anxiety/depression with a starting dose of 5 mg for 5 months, increase to 10 mg for 5 months. Though Lexapro worked for me the first time (from 2008-2016 at 10 mg) , this second time around it hasn't worked nearly as well to address my anxiety and associated light insomnia. As a result, I decided to take myself off Lexapro (which I realize I should not have done without guidance.) After my taper, I felt okay for about 5 weeks. But around week 6 I started having anxiety and insomnia like I have never experienced before. I tried to ride it out but when severe depression set it, I decided I needed help. Since we had moved overseas during this time, I had to find a new psychiatrist. She put me on Paxil 10 mg, which significantly increased my anxiety and depression so much she took me off after a week. She then put me back on Lexapro 5 mg, which seemed to kick off severe insomnia - 5 nights with less than 2 hours sleep. Now she wants me to stop Lexapro and start Mirtazapine 15 mg since she says it will help with insomnia and weight loss (I am about 8 pounds underweight.). Having read through several SA threads and guides, I think it might be better if I just try and stabilize with the Lexapro. Though perhaps that window has closed and I should just switch to Mirtazapine and stabilize on that for several months before planning your advised 10% taper. I appreciate any guidance.
  19. It’s my first time posting so hello to everyone . I’m so glad I stumbled on this site I’ve been so scared not knowing what was going on with me . ill try and make this as short as I can . In August of 2018 I hit what I believe to be called poop out (reaching tolerance) from taking seroxat for 15 years straight . Anxiety started to creep into my days even though I was on 20mg and hadn’t had problems only minor in the past . A visit to the dr led to him increasing my dosage to 30mg. I didn’t feel happy about this and decreased back down within 3 weeks. I knew for me the answer was to taper off. In November 2018 i went to see a psychiatrist for advice on tapering as my dr hadn’t got a clue (too long to go into) . She said to drop 5mg see how I went for 4 weeks before dropping again . This seemed to go ok . In December 2018 she said to drop another 5mg again I felt ok. Don’t get my wrong I had lots of weird symptoms with some depression and anxiety but didn’t feel too bad I put this down to the 50mg of pregabalin she said I should take three times daily (prescribed in November ) . I take twice daily on the advice of my dr. In January she said to decrease by 2.5 mg which I have done. I am now taking 7.5mg daily . From reading things on this site I now know I am tapering tooooooo quickly and my body is now telling me this too as my symptoms are more pronounced and the depression is really setting in. I don’t know what to do for the best and was hoping for some advice here. Do I stay put and wait to get stable though I have read somewhere on this site that it can take up to 18 months to start to stabilise after poop out. Or do I increase tiny amounts until I feel able to cope better with the symptoms? I am still working every day . my thoughts before finding this site were that I needed to get off seroxat because it had started to make me feel so much worse and that by keep taking it I’m poisoning my body and it will never head towards homeostasis while I’m still taking it no matter what dose. I would be so grateful for any advice .
  20. Rhi's success story I know I need to introduce myself and tell you my story. But I am so sick of my story. It was so long and so painful to live through, and it's long and painful to tell, and probably tedious to read. Too bad I can't draw, I could do it as a graphic novel. That might be more fun. So, shooting for nutshell version: In 1992 I was put on Prozac and then Xanax and flurazepam for PTSD after an assault. The Prozac introduced me to the fun world of akathisia and eventually chronic episodal suicidal depressions. A few years after that I began to have intrusive memories of horrific childhood abuse and I started into therapy and into a long, excruciating journey of dealing with those recovered memories and aftermath, but I won't go into that further now. During the ensuing years I was switched around on various meds but most of the time was taking Wellbutrin, Buspar, Xanax (at bedtime only, bad mistake), and Elavil. I also used marijuana a lot, almost daily, for an unremitting anxiety and edginess that I now realize was probably the combination of akathisia and agitation from the ADs and daily interdose withdrawal from the Xanax that I was only taking once a day. (Xanax is short acting and produces roller coaster blood levels with resultant withdrawal symptoms if you wait too long between doses.) I won't go into all the details of my life during those next 15 years or so; suffice it to say I was barely able to function, I couldn't work a regular job, I struggled to raise my children through the miasma of pain and fog, and after another relationship and a breakup and another change in meds combined with perimenopause I became delusional and very unstable and did a lot of crazy stuff that I will forever regret, leading to me losing my house, my life savings, almost all my possessions, and what few friendships had survived my years of social dysfunction and agoraphobia on the drugs. In 2007 I swallowed a handful of Elavil and woke up in the hospital. They finally let me out after filling me so full of strong ADs that I went into a classic manic episode (interesting, and horrible) followed by (since I ct'd all the meds while I was Superwoman) the worst suicidal depression yet. Which got me diagnosed bipolar and started on Lamictal and Neurontin. fast forward slightly...I did get a job, which I was almost fired from for not being able to remember anything for more than about five minutes, and I needed the job desperately so I CT'd the Morontin; crashed into a horrible, suicidal depression; was put on Paxil and Xanax; decided after 3 weeks of 10 mg Paxil that I didn't want to take Paxil and quit it CT on my own; and went into another horrible suicidal spell. But this was interesting: For the first time, for whatever reason, I actually saw that the problem was the drug. It wasn't me. I had always thought it was me, just my "disease," my "underlying disorder" causing all the weird emotional stuff I went through. But this time it was so clearly the drug. And I realized for the first time: these drugs are not like aspirin. Not like herbs or vitamins. These drugs are extremely precise and incredibly potent in their action, and they do something very specific to the brain, specific and strong and not good. So in February of 2010 I started tapering, and that's what I'm still doing now. I started on 5 mg of Ambien, 300 of Neurontin, 200 of Lamictal, about 0.7 of Xanax, and 10 of Celexa. Today I'm off Ambien, down to 78 of Neurontin, 141 of Lamictal, 0.41 of Xanax, and 5.25 of Celexa. I'm also taking 2 mg of Valium, from an attempted crossover from Xanax; I'm not tapering the Valium yet. The rest of my taper is going to go more slowly than the first year, I think. I've discovered that I like being functional and having a life. Now, tapering, dealing with withdrawal, I actually feel better most of the time and am more functional than I ever was during all those years when I was actually taking psych meds at "therapeutic" doses. I cut small amounts, slowly, and take intermittent holds whenever my symptoms start to ramp up, and hold until I feel better (I usually get to about 80% improvement before I cut again). I'm more stable than I can remember being in a very long time (I think that's due a lot to the fact that I'm dosing the Xanax properly now). I'm definitely doing well. But that's me today--I'm just coming out of a long hold and just found out I'm moving so I'm continuing to hold, because there's no way I can deal with moving while in active withdrawal. And I get to feeling pretty good during my holds. You'll be hearing a whole different story in a month or so when I start cutting again, no doubt. I do plan to keep the taper slow, though. The more I learn, and the more I experience what's happening in my own CNS, the more convinced I am that slow, slow, slow is what my body/brain wants and needs in order to repair and recover and maybe, if I'm really lucky, minimize the damages wrought in the past 20 years. I don't know yet if I'll be able to get off all meds. It may be too late, given how long I was on meds and how many. But I plan to get on the lowest possible dose of the fewest possible meds, and have the best life I can manage with the years I have left. And that's it for now. Okay, so, it was a large nut. what can I say. --Rhiannon
  21. I've been on Paxil for 2 & half weeks, quit cold turkey, reinstated, and cold turkey'd again. Everything after my 2nd cold turkey went fine as everything from withdrawal started to diminish. My question is, i've only have 2 problems still from withdrawal and its the vivid dreams and also visual snow. I was wondering if anyone has experienced this after/during withdrawal. Mainly visual snow, i know vivid dreams are common but do they stay with you forever? Also do withdrawals come back even if you feel better? The whole visual snow, vivid dreams freak me out as i researched alot about it with people saying i'm psychic lol
  22. I don't come here anymore, but somebody just sent me a PM asking how I was doing. I joined near the beginning of the site, and only posted a few times. I'm more of a lurker type than a poster type. I'm a quiet person in real life too. I used to be on the old paxil progress forum before it shut down. Anyway here's an update to give hope and a few tips. It's almost 10 years (October 2010) since my last dose of effexor. I was on it for 18 years.The two main problems I developed from quitting were very bad anxiety and disturbed sleep. I would wake up anxious after like four hours of sleep. Both sleep and anxiety gradually improved, in an up and down manner. The anxiety went away. Sleep improved, but I'm not the best sleeper. Was diagnosed with sleep apnea, but was unable to use cpap. I usually sleep about five or six hours a day, and sleep straight through. On good days, I'll sleep a over six hours straight through. On bad days which aren't that often, I'll sleep less than five hours. But when I don't sleep well, I no longer freak out about it. I would probably say my average sleep is something like 5.5 hours, but it's straight through and I wake up calmly instead of in a panic. That's about all I can say I guess other than a few tips which I will list below. There will be a couple links, but I'm not affiliated in any way with them. If I think of anything else, I can add it later in the replies. Wishing you all the best of luck with your taper and great health and happiness. 1. This article somehow really helped me with anxiety. I mean I think it made a huge difference. I don't remember if I heard about it here or on paxil progress or what, but I'm glad I found it. I remember reading at the time that it had a profound effect for some other people too. It's called "Nothing Works, A Letter To Myself." http://nothingworks.weebly.com/ 2. For sleep, I use a sound machine. Here's the machine I originally used. Eventually I ended up making my own custom solution with an old laptop. But this machine worked well for me, and I gave one to my mother and it made a give improvement in her sleep too. Link: Lectrofan 3. Meditation. I started seriously meditating at some point during my taper, and never stopped. I try to do it twice a day everyday. I did/do it more for spiritual/religious reasons, but I've got to think that it must have helped in some way regarding anxiety and maybe even sleep too.
  23. Hi Soggy! 🙂 I'm looking at You Paxil history: 2019-5-2 Started Paroxetine 30mg, 2019-10-1 paroxetine still 30mg 2019-10-17 paroxetine still 30mg 2019-10-22 paroxetine 0mg, So it seems you took 30 mgsof Paxil from 5/2/19 to 10/17/19, and then was finished taking it 5 days later by 10/22/19, is that correct? Just over 5 month ago since You Cold Turkey'd? If so, did You notice any emotional outbursts, crying, etc. Along with any of the head shocks or "Paxil Flu"symptoms, like aches and pains? Interested in how Your managing any Paxil issues. Thanks! 😎
  24. Hi! I use to post occasionally on Paxil Progress under Basil but took a step away in the mist of withdrawal and confusion. I only found out recently the site had gone. I'm not sure what help I can get here but I though I would share this long story and to get it off my chest/help myself in some way. I'm from the UK near Manchester and currently on 25mg of Pregablin/Lyrica. I also take 50mg mirabegron to try calm my bladder but that doesn't seem to do anything. I'll share my story first and how I got to this point but firstly I have so much empathy for people here and others going through this. It has been one of the most cruel and crazy journeys which it seems mostly only people who have experienced it, believe.... Male 36 Good career one child Single MENTAL Current Symptoms: Depression, lack of motivation, no drive or focus This has come on over the last couple of years to where I feel dead inside now Fatigue and brain fog I've had bouts of this in my life but this has been constant for a year now. Sometimes I can't work with it. Frequent urination, genital sensations, pain Major problem the last 18 months and probably made the depression worse. Touch wood I now have days where I'm nearly fine and haven't had pain in nearly a year. Had nearly every medical test going and nothing can be found apart from a small bladder which I doubt is the problem as I would have always had this. I also have the sensation when nothing is in my bladder. Anxiety I've always been this way, not the withdrawal anxiety at the moment (fingers crossed) Story (warning, very long) April 2007 I've always been highly strung and critical but after pushing myself with my final year Uni artwork I developed Repetitive strain injury in my hand which spread to both arms. Nothing structurally wrong was found and I freaked out that my career was over before it started. I was anxious and feeling down, my ex advised I get something to help as she was out of ideas how to help. My doctor had suggested CBT and put me on the list, an emergency doctor after suggested PAXIL/SEROXAT/paroxetine 20MG. If only I knew now how trivial at the time that anxiety and low mood was! August 2007 Paroxetine 20mg, felt it straight away and within one week my mood was up. Arm pain was easier to deal with, started eating again, playing games and doing stuff within a month. I went from an anxious mess to drinking lots, over eating, smoking, occasional drug use, sleeping most of the day, annoying my ex but I felt great. I went form 11.5 stone up to 14, I sweated a lot, sexual dysfunction but indulging in stuff felt amazing. August 2008 Weight gain was starting to annoy me and I had realised my behavior had changed with the medication. At this point I was having periods of no arm pains. I had started missing doses, temporary GP told me to just stop cold turkey. No problems until 3 month later when the arm pains came back full force. December 2008 Arms pains were becoming a major problem so a GP put me back on Paroxetine 20mg. Worked fast and pulled me out of a hole quickly, found a new job and all the naughty behavior came with the meds again. August 2009 I started reducing the medication, I can't remember but it was rapid with no obstruction from the GP. Some brain zaps and strange symptoms but nothing that bad. November 2009 I had noticed through the last 3 months I was highly tense and irritable then the arm pains came back. I was so distraught I couldn't get rid of them without paroxetine. My ex suggested I try St john's wort which did nothing after a few weeks. I stupidly went to the GP on the Friday after stopping the St john's wort on the Thursday and asked for to go back to Paroxetine without telling her I was on the herbal remedy recently. I thought before was bad but now I was entering hell. After 2 days back on Paroxetine I woke up to a panic attack in the night and uncontrollable agitation, felt like my mind had exploded. I couldn't sleep, eat, sit still, stay safe. I had such strong suicidal feelings but no one would believe how I felt. I walked the streets at night sweating, pacing, heart pounding waiting for the doctors to open. I explained at the Emergency room what had happened but the Doctors did nothing. I was obsessed with serotonin syndrome due to st johns wort being taken few days before Paroxetine. I phone the crisis team and they gave me diazepam 2-4mg to take as needed and zopiclone 3.75mg to get me to sleep. They put me to sleep but after 1 hour I was awake again. I was then switched from Paroxetine to 20mg of Citalopram which increased the problems ten fold. I admitted myself to a ward as I couldn't take it anymore. In the ward I was given Clonazepam, zopiclone and the citalopram. I calmed down and slept for the first time in a weeks. I thought things were better but it would appear it was just the clonazepam covering up the issues. I decided to checkout as I spent most of my time playing pool with the young nurses and felt pretty good. When I got home I realised the clonazepam was so addictive after some research so I stopped it. I went back into hell. At this point I was off sick from my dream job I had got 6 months earlier, lost my flat, split from my partner, living back at my mums. Then I also found we had conceived a child in the middle of this madness. Christmas 2009 I saw an emergency Pysch Doctor and she removed me from all medication over a week. Thankfully it lowered all the mental and physical symptoms some what but the my arm pains were on fire and I was very low in mood. January 2010 I was attending a day clinic and the medical practitioners would not listen to my story. Paroxetine had worked before so I was convinced to try again after no luck with propranolol and buspar. Started at 5mg and worked up to 20mg. I wanted to kill myself, I had visions of sticking a blade into my stomach but I pushed through with the symptoms. February 2010 By the end of February I suddenly had a pleasant thought. The paroxetine kicked in big time and I was back to feeling good with all the usual side effects. I did some horrible things over the next few months including taking a drug on my birthday (MDMA). One week after I slipped into some horrible extreme anxious/agitated state which last 2 weeks. April 2010 - August 2010 Within this time I started having the waves of extreme periods of symptoms to then very high mood. Akathesia Extreme anxiety depression Not eating or sleeping Each wave got shorter and good periods got longer. My son was born end of August and my experience I realised I could not mess about anymore. March 2011 I joined Paxil progress and started connecting some dots. Yes I had taken illegal drugs on a few occasions but I saw my symptoms with the Paroxetine in other people's stories. At this time I was still having occasional days of extreme agitation and anxiety. A night out drinking could trigger this off sometimes. I was nearly 16 stone and couldn't care less about things. I decided it was time to taper off. August to November 2011 I had two major waves while tapering, both lasted 2 weeks. November 2012 I had tapered down to 1.25mg with not too many problems. After feeling slightly out of sorts for a week one lunch time the extreme anxiety suddenly turned on and I went into a major crash. December 2012 Crisis team Severe akathesia/anxiety Suicidal ideation Nausea So many symptoms but no arm pains. I updosed to 5mg Paroxetine with no relief. Pysch doctor/mental health team would not listen to the theory of severe withdrawal from Anti depressants. I was diagnosed with severe GAD and told I need to take Pregablin and stop the Paroxetine. I did not want to add anything else and held on till end of January. Tried Propanonol again which did nothing and took occasional Benzos (once a week for a break) Jan 2013 I stopped going to Paxil progress as it made me more anxious. I was being discharged by the crisis team as I refused to take Pregablin. I was suicidal and my body was on fire but I was freezing. I would spend most mornings in despair with my body jerking and pacing with the akathesia and extreme anxiety. I sometimes would feel normal in the evenings. My family was lost what to do and upset. I had been off work 2 months, not seen my son. I had also managed to get an appointment with Dr Healy in Wales but had to wait till April. I decided to take the Lyrica end of Jan. February 2013 The Lyrica had no start up effects for me and I hate saying it did help somewhat. It gave me a window (I think it was that) I was able to get back to work by March. 2 x 150mg Lyrica a day and 5mg Paroxetine. I decided this was my fate for now. I started the pattern of waves and windows, the waves were very intense but I worked through them. April 2013 I saw Dr Healy and he listened. He asked my what I wanted him to do for me and I wasn't sure. He did back up my story and it's on my file. He expressed concern about the Lyrica as the new drug everyone was getting prescribed and to come off it. I tried with his withdrawal plan but I was just too scared with the waves to alter anything. He suggested to stay on the Lyrica and come off the paroxetine when ready. Everything seemed a bit hopeless but I had to keep pushing through these waves which were getting shorter luckily. March 2015 Life had been better and I had done stuff I thought I'd never do. I had been very successful at work. I had a couple of major waves and had tried to get off Lyrica once more but a big wave took me back on it. I decided I would taper off the paroxetine finally. I had to fight with the GP to prescribe me liquid paroxetine. Some GP's had now started confirming the withdrawal of Paroxetine to me and my clinic had stopped prescribing it. February 2016 Tapering using liquid was going fine apart from lack of enjoyment and mood dropping. I then experienced a period of frequent urination which my GP couldn't find a reason. It disappeared... and came back on occasion. I was still on 2x150mg Lyrica/ April 2016 I woke up with tinnitus white noise in one ear randomly and still have it. Nothing could be found to be the cause. April 2017 I finish my paroxetine taper with no problems but at the same time a relationship breaks down and I feel very emotional. This person had helped me through a lot since 2013 and I missed her dearly. I chose to have no more children after this experience so we split. August 2017 With usual perfect timing over just 3 month the withdrawal anxiety started with the akathesia to follow. I was still dealing with the breakdown of my relationship at the same time, life went to sh*t. Very depressed at the same time. Next five months involved in waves: Extreme anxiety Akathesia Depression Nausea Diarrhea Freezing chills GP's would constantly say I need Sertraline, everyone wanted to prescribe me this drug. A GP wrote to a psych doc as I wasn't ill enough to be seen apparently. I don't know why I let them as I knew no one could help but prescribe drugs. Mitrzapine and Promazine was prescribed. I got the prescription but never took them thank god. December 2017 Just before Christmas the wave ended and hasn't come back. January 2018 I was so happy I was now 3-4 weeks of a good window. Finally my mood was up and I started living again, still on 300mg Lyrica a day. This was cut short after going to the toilet one day and then urgently needing it again. What followed has pushed me as far as the akathesia and anxiety to nearly ending my life. I never knew needing to urinate could be so torturous. I saw my now regular GP and he prescribed all kinds of medications to try control my frequent urination but nothing worked. By the third week I was experiencing pain in my bladder and strange sensations in my genitals. My life was now even more restricted than before, I 24/7 needed to urinate regardless if I had anything in my bladder. My GP had suspected Lyrica as the culprit but I wasn't ready for rocking that boat yet. August 2018 I had every test done with no problems being found in urology, I managed to get the pain to subside to an acceptable level with stretching. I now started to experience severe fatigue and brain fog, luckily I was off work for the last 4 month but had to go back. December 2018 Fatigue, brain fog, depression increased, frequent urination. Occasional better day of less urinating but life seems pretty hopeless with this never ending nightmare. The sensations in my genitals are unbearable as well and it now seems that anti depressants are the treatment to stop me urinating and for the fatigue haha! January 2019 My refusal to take anti depressants my GP suggests the Lyrica being the problem with urological symptoms. He suggests 1/2 the dose to see if it improves as I'm in such a state. Strangely it seems to work but in waves and windows again with stress seeming to set it off immediately. Today So here I am at 25mg of Lyrica, my urinating seems to go up and down. Just when I feel it might be gone it comes back for a few days intensely. I've not had the strange genital symptoms in months thankfully. I have the worst brain fog and fatigue which occasionally lessens. I'm depressed which I think is due to how long this stuff has been going on. My life is very restricted but I've tried to break free and chose to always push myself even with the symptoms. I mean someone suggested a holiday so I went to South Africa which was absolute hell with the urinating but I still did it. I really want to break free of this and finally enjoy life again. I sometimes fear my brain is permanently broken after this, I've not felt happiness and enjoyment in so long. I'm hoping the Lyrica is the cause of the Fatigue/brain fog/frequent urination and things will get better once I'm off. I didn't follow a 10% taper of Lyrica as I'm desperate to get relief from urinating which seems to improved with the reduction. I've only experienced some withdrawal from 50mg to 25mg with even more fatigue and zombie like state. Jan: 75mg 2 x a day Feb: 75mg a day April: 25mg 2 x a day July: 25mg a day I'm not even sure what I'm asking but I thought I'd share this very long story, good to actually get it all down. Hopefully this story will come to end soon. It seems crazy to go on a medication for low level anxiety/low mood due to essentially stress and go through this! Boris x
  25. hello everyone I am happy to be here! I started Paxil 20 in sep 2000 for stress anxiety and chronic back pain . I do know that anxiety- pain - depression all feed off each other. After 11 years on Paxil became sleepy all the time and no interest. When I would drop to lower dose I would feel better more interest in things. Tried stopping Paxil the wrong way twice. And Every time that I’ve dropped to fast and had withdrawals for a period of time and started back it always takes me 4 to 6 months to stabilize. Anyway Ended up with a dr -try this try that - side effects then withdrawals y’all no the routine. Dr doesn’t have a clue. I did meet one dr in 2006 that new about slow taper up and down don’t know where he is now. I am in process of tapering to 10 mg lexapro. I’m at 15 mg lexapro for 1 yr. I will see dr in one week to get 5 mg tablets to reduce by 1.25 mg every 2 months. I will end up dropping 11% when going from 11.25 mg to 10 mg which will be a little more than 10%. In 6 months I will go back to dr and ask for liquid lexapro. That’s my plan . I want to see how we do getting to 12.5 mg first ! My nerves are stable at this time. Reason for wanting to taper on down tired of side effects. At this time dry mouth, dry burning sinuses, dry eyes, little constipation, sleeping 12 hours on weekends. I’m working in a job I enjoy which has some little stresses. I still deal with come and go back pain and life stresses. Teens and college!! Over the years I have became sensitive to these drugs withdrawals and such. Obsessive worry type anxiety. I want to fill my tool box with all resources I need for this taper down. Changing thought patterns, letting feelings be there and not react to them, pain etc. I would love it to find cbt/support groups that is experienced in the areas of my needs in my location. After trying to withdraw a few times I am in no hurry If it takes 4 years that’s fine. I have learned a lot about these drugs in the past. I am glad to have found y’all and look forward to learning more!! I am so glad I found SA!!! My signature info should be on this post let me know if it don’t. I’m still learning my way around. thanks
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