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  1. Hi Everyone! Thank you for welcoming me into this group, it means alot to me. I am a 25 year old female and need help in the worst way. I had been on SSRI's for almost 5 years straight and have been off for almost 5 months now (please see my signature for details). Main reasons I went off were I constantly felt like I was in a dream, couldn't feel love for my husband, and extreme weight gain (80 lbs since I started). I am lost now, a lost soul. I have no idea who I am and if I'm even capable of living in this world without the buffer of medication. I am scared constantly and h
  2. If the theory of up-regulated serotonin receptor sites is true as an explanation for depression, this could be a compensatory measure taken by the brain as a result of anxiety, acute stress responses, environmental factors, and even other medications. Seems to me that only non-pharmacological interventions would have any real long-term therapeutic value. Ie. cognitive behavioral therapy, altered thinking process, etc. Any thoughts?
  3. Hello all and thank you for taking the time to read this post My antidepressant experience started in 2014 after my father's passing. It was shocking, unexpected and I was devastated. I found out my father had an illness that he did not seek treatment for and as I did not live close to him, he told me nothing about it. We were extremely close and after not being able to contact him for a day and a half we sent the police to his house as he lived in a remote area. They had to break down the door and he was rushed to the hospital. I took the first plane out the next morning. He was
  4. My name is Natalie and I've been on an anti depressant of some sort since I was 16, I"m 29. For the first time in my life I got off Lexapro 5.5 months ago after tapering for 3 months. Things seemed a little more manageable after the horrific first few months but the past month or so it has been very bad again and I"m scared. I cry all the time, I have insomnia, I have a hard time working-super tired/anxious/irritable. Sometimes my anxiety is debilitating. Lack of hope or motivation. Lots of fear. My fear is this is either just how I am without them or I was on them for so long my brain needs t
  5. Hi there, I’m in my mid 40’s and am here hoping for some help with my current issues with anxiety, agitation, insomnia (early morning awkening) and akathisia, which I think may be medication related. My current meds are: Effexor immediate release tabs, 100mg in the morning, 50mg in the evening - taken for 18 years at various doses Trazodone 50mg at bedtime - taken for 18 years Klonopin 0.25mg 1-2 times/day as needed - taken for about 6 mos Lamictal 100mg twice a day - titrated up over several weeks and at stable dose for about 2 weeks now Risperdal 0.5mg at bedtime, 2-4 times a week as needed
  6. Hello to everybody. Ive been followin this forum for years, yet i never took the time to join you guys and share my story. Im a 20 y.o male, i had suffered tremendus depression and panic disorder in my late teens, something i suspect was caused either by a concussion i had or by b12 depletion which i recently found out as a potencial cause. The depression and anxiety was ancompanied by extreme brain fog, weak memory, inability to express myself and derealization. At age of 17 i decided to see a psychiatrist as it was the last thing i could try to figure out what was going on with my life.
  7. Introduction! Hi members! I'm GoneGranola. I'm a 25 year old female who started tapering off of 20mg of Celexa (yesterday started taking 15mg) and am working on trying to get lower doses of IR (instead of XL) Wellbutrin to wean off too. Why am I weaning off? I have had debilitating chronic urticaria (hives) and angioedema (swelling of face lips hands and feet) that is getting worse everyday and has been going on for the past 5-7 years intermittently. I have eliminated environmental factors and have "Gone Granola" in that I only buy non-chemical, all-natural everything (soap, deter
  8. NotGettingBy

    NotGettingBy- Intro

    Hey Everyone, First time on the site. Was looking around on the internet about what I'm going through because I'm lost as can be. And I feel so damn alone going through it. So I created an account. My abridged story is as follows: You can see the drug history in my signature I believe. I went cold turkey off of Cymbalta on July 1, 2015. So a little over three months ago now. I am positive the last three months have been the worst of my life. Every day has been a battle and nothing seems to have gotten better. I read somewhere about the waves and windows concept and
  9. Just wondering on people's thoughts on this? The heaviness and dread and unable to move and despair I've certainly had in years on and off meds but I also suffered in childhood from a lot of crying spells and dread feelings but I never found the root cause and now I've thrown into the mix stupid medication. I've tried counselling, CBT, change of diet, eft and doesn't seem like much shifts it..it feels like there could be hundreds of causes but until the root is found anything else doesn't touch it. What has others experiences been? Did you find the root cause and how on earth did yo
  10. Hi everyone, I've been a visiter on many forums before but have never joined as a member, so this is a bit new for me. I was so delighted to find a current forum community that has such detailed and useful information regarding withdrawls from antidepressents, and is set up so well by such kind people! I have already learned a lot just through hopping around different threads and reading other people's experiences. IMO, I am getting way more useful information here then I would have ever received from my doctor (even though I have a conscientious and caring doctor). I'm already so grateful to
  11. Hi, I'm here seeking help after I've come to a realization that my mind is not something to treat recklessly. After a bout of depersonalization, derealization, depression and all around apathy, I decided that I could handle withdrawal from a cold-turkey method of discontinuation -- after all, my perception of reality has been quite flat as of late. Wrong. I made the mistake of outright discontinuing my SSRI a week or two ago. The symptoms hit me hard today. I thought self-medicating with cannabis would be fine, totally normal. But in my opinion, and in my case, this has led to a self-destr
  12. Hi Everyone. I am grateful to have found this forum. Something has been wrong with me for a long time. I feel broken. Hollow. I can only really feel anger and it's very volatile and quick. This is not like me. I am not myself. Recently I read something on XOJane and came across the term Tardive Dysphoria. I have no idea if this is actually what is wrong with me, but when I read the author's description it just clicked. I've been depressive since I was very young. I cut myself and cried a lot. I tried to be a functional adult, and was successful for a while. Something happened and I dro
  13. Hello everyone! I'm PanickedPathfinder (PanickedPat). I came across this wonderful website after discovering Paxil Progress had been foreclosed, but from what I've read and seen thus far, this community is a strong and supportive one, too. I'm excited to share my story and journey away from antidepressant use with other likeminded members! I'll attempt to be brief about why I'm here, just to give fellow members the highlights of my experiences with antidepressants. If you have any other questions for/about me, please feel free to message From the top: About a year and a half ago (
  14. Several months ago I started tapering off of lexapro. I have been on SSRI’s, off and on for a long time, so I expected to get a bit depressed and anxious. I told my 4 closest friends. I didn’t make a big deal of it, but I thought I was concise and to the point. Only one friend seemed to not want to talk about it, but, generally, I felt my friends were respectful and empathetic. The only thing I asked of them is to understand that I might not want to hang out with big large groups of people and that I cannot make definite plans to do anything this summer. My friends do not seem to understand th
  15. Hi everyone. My name is Neil and I'm 53 years old, have been fighting treatment resistant depression since I was a child up until today by taking all of the U.S. antidepressants and having many Ect treatments and hospitalizations for the past 30 years now. It has disabled so much that I finally stopped working in 2000 and started Social Security Disability and Medicare. At first I hated not working, but it turned out for the best. Since nothing has really worked, I've recently researched Vagus Nerve Stimulation, Deep Brain Stimulation and CES devices in hopes I'd find another route that w
  16. Hi everyone, At 16 I was diagnosed with Depression, anixety, PTSD and at a later stage BDD. I started medication at this age, with Prozac (fluoxetine) being my primary pill. I have trialed many different medications usually under guidance of Psychiatrist otherwise GP , most with bad reactions/ side effects. As a result i would always return to Prozac as it was the safest with mild to no side effects. However, this only ever gave me near 50% improvement. I was still incredibly depressed and anxious-serverly anxious at particular times where i was challenged. Having been on medication for
  17. I am a 36 year old male. I have had OCD, Depression and Anxiety as far back as I can remember. I have done everything that I can to treat it - multiple medications, multiple therapists and a slew of naturopathic treatments Is there any hope for me? I remember being very young and telling people that I was depressed and they would tell me that I didn’t know what that word meant….but I did. As I got older and more sophisticated, I realized that I had OCD. As an aside, both of my parents had issues. My Mom has OCD to an extent and is very anxious. My Dad has mental health issues too. ID
  18. Hello everyone. I am glad this place exists. I am currently trying to get off antidepressants and have read many posts on this forum. I would appreciate any advice on my current situation. Here are the basics: March 2001 At age 18, tried marijuana and a high dose of coricidan cough & cold (dextromethorphan) along with alcohol on spring break. Experienced a 'bad trip', freaking out and thinking I was going to die. For the next couple weeks I felt 'off': experienced dissociative feelings, derealization and anxiety (feared I would never feel back to normal) April 2001 Returned to "n
  19. everythingbut

    everythingbut: So lonely!

    I feel uncomfortable talking about myself and this! I'm a lively, rambunctious person and I can't believe I'm here, seeking help and affirmation on an online forum. I don't know how I got to where I am but I'm more than ready to resurrect myself and I just wish that my friends and the world would go along with me. I've always struggled with addiction issues, but about a year ago I turned to sleeping pills to help with my longstanding insomnia. I didn't even think I was remotely addicted, until I tried to stop. I went through two months of deep withdrawal and then turned to trazodone, which,
  20. Not sure if anyone will be able to help with this, as I know meds affect everyone differently, I started being depressed and anxious around 3 years ago. The last year of school it came about. The anxiety has stopped me from doing much of the things I used to love doing like Horse Riding (which I am scared of now but also miss incredibly). What I experience is anxiety leading up to events such as going out to a friend's place (I never do anymore for this reason), as well as thoughts of not wanting to do something as soon as I have made the decision I will do it (such as organising a riding
  21. Hello everyone, I am in graduate school working on my capstone research about trends in prescribing antidepressants. I am inviting you to participate in this anonymous survey. The survey will only be used by me for the purpose of completing my capstone research. I hope that you will take the time to complete the survey. Your response is important and I want to thank you in advance for taking the time to complete the survey. https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/ZS2YFC5
  22. hey everyone. so i'm in need of help. lets start from January 2014. I started Prozac 20 mg. I stayed on this until the end of June 2014, taking 1 a day. Then i switched to Celexa 20 mg once a day. I've been taking this and still am on this dosage. As you can see I've been on an antidepressant for 9 months straight with no breaks. With Celexa I've been having weird drug interactions. If I take benadryl I start feeling tingly and feel like I'm on fire. So i stopped taking benadryl. I"m also prescribed adderall 10 mg as needed. If i take adderall I start feeling like im on fire as well. So
  23. Hi I'm Lauren, I'm 24, and have been on and off meds since I was 18. I was put on 5mg of lexapro at 18, with strattera 70mg for ADD. I was on both for about 2 years, strattera did nothing for me. And I tapered off lexapro slowly after two years with no problems except brain zaps for a few weeks. Depression never came back. I had a baby when I was 21, and came down with post partum depression and was put on Wellbutrin for 2 months. It made me feel crazy, very up and down and much more depressed so I tapered off quite fast, and was fine afterwards. Suffered no real withdrawal. I was th
  24. I am desperate to be understood and accepted in life. I'm constantly disappointed by family and friends because they think I should just be able to get over it or change. Sometimes I feel like I'd have to be slitting my wrists in front of them for people to take me seriously. I find it hard to leave the house and people just see this as lazy and criticise me. I often isolate myself from society because I feel like I don't belong or I don't fit in I've tried to make friends in the past but something always goes wrong and I end up getting hurt by them or I get left be
  25. Jeff Foster talks about seeing depression from an 'awakened' perspective. "We can view depression not as a mental illness, but on a deeper level, as a profound, and very misunderstood, state of deep rest, entered into when we are completely exhausted by the weight of our own false story of ourselves..." While watching this video I could see how it might relate to many of us, desperately trying to uphold a life, reputation, roles and ideals which no longer seem possible.... "when we are completely exhausted by the weight of our currently unworkable story of ourselves" The original
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