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  1. Hello all. This is my first post to this website. Here's my history.. 27 years old male. October 2014 I had a bad panic attack that started this whole downward spiral. Me or my family has no prior history to anxiety or depression. My doctor put me on sertraline to help with the anxiety. The highest dose I was ever on was 50mg. March 12th 2016 was my last dose at 25 mg. here is my problem and I'm kind of freaking out. The good news is my anxiety/panic attacks are gone haven't had one since October of 2014. But now I am suffering what feels like major mood swings and depression. I felt like ever
  2. https://www.madinamerica.com/2016/11/frenzy-lobbying-21st-century-cures/ “A Frenzy Of Lobbying On 21st Century Cures” Kaiser Health News and NPR report on the immense lobbying effort aimed at passing the "21st Century Cures" Act which would fast-track FDA approval of drugs and devices. "The 21st Century Cures Act set for a House vote Wednesday is one of the most-lobbied health care bills in recent history, with nearly three lobbyists working for its passage or defeat for every member on Capitol Hill. More than 1,455 lobbyists representing 400 companies, universities and other organiza
  3. rowinghippy

    Suicidal depression

    I don't know how people last as long as many of you have, because I just so badly want to end this all. In my current state of mind I can't foresee ever being better. Partial recovery stories and stories of people in wd years out terrify me. Also terrified because I haven't found any recovery stories of people who had some serious hormone issues because of the drugs. I care less and less about my family and friends. They're all that's left from my pre-drug life, and even they're affected by wd. College is near impossible, but if I drop out then the one real thing I have left to live for (f
  4. rowinghippy

    Need strong catharsis

    Not a classic self care/symptom, but felt it fit in this section regardless. Long story short, I'm so incredibly angry to my core that my life is in shambles and that I'm in agony everyday. It's made me depressed and suicidal. Historically, I'd vent whatever anger I had through physical activity, but in my present state exercise is not really an option, as it would just make symptoms worse. Things like meditation, yoga, etc. are fine and good, but not cathartic. I really need a way to release this bottled up anger. I (figuratively, please don't read this literally, I'm not violent)
  5. I'm 32 with no prior history of mental health problems. I had a manic and psychotic episode in late May of 2015 after to weeks of starting CPAP therapy for severe sleep apnea. I take a cab to my hometown and admit myself to the hospital because I'm freaked out by my behaviour and my feelings, and after being evaluated I'm given seroquel (25 mg 2x day) and risperidone (2 mg before bed) and end up staying at the psychiatric ward for 5 weeks. After leaving the hospital, I suddenly have no libido and significant fogginess and anhedonia. I get off seroquel and get prescribed lithium (450 mg initial
  6. Depression, Anxiety – When the Pain-Body Awakens – Teachings of Eckhart Tolle Go to the link for the Podcast. From the description: On this episode of Living with Tolle we talk about the pain-body, a powerful spiritual insight Eckhart Tolle first introduced in The Power of Now. We explore how the pain-body manifests in life and strategies for dealing with the short term and long term effects. What is the Pain-Body? The pain-body has been described by Eckhart Tolle as past emotional pain alive in your life today. The pain-body is a living entity or energy field
  7. Hey ya'll I'm new here (even though I joined a long time ago, but for some reason didn't stick around. (life happens) I have a crazy story, who doesn't? Was prescribed prozac for ADD. Gave me anxiety like mad, became an alcoholic. Quit cold turkey, developed agora phobia and entire year of darkness and sabatoged all my friendships could not function on a social level and was gripped with fear / anxiety but now it's been 3 years and have never gone back to any meds anyone with a similar story? I don't recommend cold turkey to anyone but I didn't know any better. If an
  8. Hi! This is my story: At the age of 23 I was taken with panic disorder. I had no previous experience with mental illness and went through hell experiencing this for the first time - saw myself locked up or not being able to take care of myself or live a "normal" live (whatever that is) ever again. This was during my last year at teacher training college. I was prescribed Anafranil (TCA) and also got Sobril (benzo) to cope with the anxiety during the first weeks of medication. After a couple of months with medication, therapy and breathing technique training I started feeling quite OK and so
  9. NaturalBorn

    Help Me

    i'm hopeless man, completely hopeless, i can't express my pain, i can't express how bad i feel when i realize that this will go on for YEARS. from the severety of what i felt i can just say that this will not pass in a few months. how can i live like this?, knowing that everything i will do from now on will be poor quality? i met a lot of people with drug problems, NONE of them felt the kind of sickness we felt, i really just wish that i could see some light in the end of the tunnel, because when i was off drugs i did not got one single day of improvement it was just like watching my health be
  10. I have taken Lexapro generic (Zytomil 5mg) then quit cold turkey for fear of cognitive impairment. Mild withdrawal symptoms (Paraesthesia in legs and brain zaps). Then went on 5-HTP which caused depression because of lowered dopamine. Then switched to Curcumin which is the best I've ever taken but quit after a month due to no libido whatsoever. Then went back on 5mg Zytomil and felt good but OCD and social annxiety got worse so was switched to Prozac by Psychiatrist 20mg. Felt really strange and massive social anxiety with insomnia. Switched to 10mg Lexamil and then back on Curcumin at
  11. I am making a final decision about getting off antidepressants/stimulants for good. Please help me decide. I am in great need of encouragement and wisdom. It has been about 2 years since I started my journey. But some history: In college (2005) I was started on 20mg Adderall XR to help with ADHD which was said to be causing a lot of anxiety and perhaps depression. Adderall induced depression in me after my dose would wear off, so the doctor prescribed Lexapro 20mg. I felt probably the best I've ever felt in my life. However, I still wanted see who I was without the meds. I wanted t
  12. Hi All, I found this http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2016/07/when-the-body-attacks-the-mind/485564/on my https://flipboard.com/ cover last week. It's by far the most interesting take on the causes of depression I've read to date. It also opens up a whole new thinking on how to treat or diagnose depression before dishing out AD's! I'm hoping that there is some one medical on SA who could comment on a possible "pre screening" method for depression diagnoses. Julestheboy
  13. As I write this, I have just retired from my work as a librarian after 16 years. I have been taking Paxil for the same time frame. After reading a recent study linking Paxil to dementia, I determined this was not the drug for me. My mother was one of 6 siblings - she died before dementia set in, but all 5 of her siblings were diagnosed with it, and her one remaining sibling - her twin sister - is in a dementia ward currently. So, with the drug linked to dementia and a likely genetic predisposition, I determined I no longer wanted to use paxil. I should point out that it appears the paxil
  14. I stopped my antidepressants about 2-3 weeks ago, on accident. I make up a pill box and I guess I forgot to put my Zoloft in, also. Before I tell you about my withdrawal symptoms, let me tell you that I have been thinking about tapering off of Zoloft since I've been noticing a lot of symptoms that have been affecting me daily. I have also been wanting to go a more natural route, like eating more healthy, exercising, taking vitamins, meditating, etc. I have been on Citalopram, affexor, Citalopram again then sertraline. (That I can remember) I have had terrible memory loss since I was about 14 w
  15. In 2007 I was put on meds at 19 for depression. Then they decided I was bi-polar, the bi-polar where you are just really depressed. So from 2007 until November 2012 I was on a cocktail of meds. Three meds at a time. I was on abilify, wellbutrin, sequel ( only for two weeks because it made me extremely tired) Lamictal, Depakote, Effexor and so on. So what would happen is my psychiatrist would prescibe meds and I would feel better and didn't want to take them so I would stop or miss a lot of days. When I would go to see him I lied and said I was taking them and they didn't do anything so he
  16. Hello All, I'm new here and this is my first post. Since I can remember (as early as pre-k) I've suffered from anxiety. When I turned about 13, it started to develop into depression. From that age, I have been on and off drugs for my condition (Zoloft, Xanex). When I was 19, I was prescribed 20mg of Lexapro and have been taking it ever since. It's worked okay, up until recently I've had terrible suicidal thoughts. I went to a psychiatrist, who suggested I up my dosage to 30mg. I've tried this, and it has helped with suicidal thoughts, but I feel like I am barely there mentally. I hate feel
  17. I’ve tried writing this introduction more than once and I have to say that it’s kind of difficult to summarize almost twenty years of wrestling with these dang meds. Around 1995, my second marriage was falling apart. I hated myself and I was falling apart. The marriage counselor my (ex-)wife and I were seeing recommended a doc who could prescribe something for me. In tears, I practically begged that doctor to give me antidepressants. To his credit, he was reluctant but he did end up giving me handfuls of free samples of a relatively young drug called Paxil. At that time, I had never had a p
  18. Had a bought of BAD BAD BAD anxiety at age 23 (I'm now 30). Didnt know what was wrong with me. Couldnt sleep, eat, or sit still for 6 days. I thought I was sick. Went to the Dr.. Said what I was experiencing was anxiety. He gave me Ativan and Lexapro. That was 6 years ago. I ditched the Lexapro and only took Ativan. But I took it sparingly, b/c I did not like the thought of withdrawal or addiction. My Dr. told me that I can not get addicted. Long story short over a 4 year period I had SO many UPS and DOWNS, strange symptoms that got weirder and weirder as the years went on. Numerous Dr vis
  19. Hello everyone, I was diagnosed with Anxiety disorder, agoraphobia, claustrophobia, and severe depression, few years ago. I was on Nexito (Escitalopram) and Rivotril (Clonazepam) for almost 3 years. I went off the above medications 4 months ago, i.e., in January 2016. Withdrawals started after a month. My shrink prescribed me with Stablon (Tianeptine) 12.5mg twice a day, to fight the withdrawals. Three weeks into the new drug, and I started experiencing the following symptoms. Head ache/stuffy head Muscle ache Weakness Joint pain Dry mouth Dizziness Anxiety Suicidal Thought Mood swings Los
  20. Suziestarshine

    Suziestarshine hello there

    Hello there everyone, recently took the plunge into tapering off of sertraline after our 2 year love affair began to sour. I'm no newbie to anti depressants and have been battling depression for most of my life. I had my first episode when I was 15 which escalated to a suicide attempt at 16. Since then I have had 3 major episodes the last of which began early 2012 but I let it run and then New Year's Day 2013 I experienced the biggest meltdown of my life so far. My GP began my treatment with citalopran but my body was not comfortable with its side effects so this was replaced with sertraline.
  21. I need some help.. I started taking SSRIs (lexapro,seronil,and last paxil, i had to switch every year because i developed tolerance)when i was 15-16. When I was almost 20, last April , i told the doctor (it was a student practicing) i wanted to switch meds, because i was suicidal.He ,based on my history of switching ssris, wanted to start me on high dose of antipsychotics (i already took ketipinor /seroquel 100 mg a low dose) i refused and wanted to quit paxil. He tapered me off very quickly, from 40 mg to 20 mg in one day, and from 20 mg to 10 mg to 0 in one month. Also ketipinor (seroquel)
  22. Hello Everyone, This is my first post. My oh my, where to start. I guess from the beginning. I'm a 24 year old male. A year and a half ago, while still in college, I would smoke weed almost everyday. I had only started smoking about a year before that, so I would consider my experience with it slightly amateurish. I'm a normal kid, but I'm definitely shy, more than the average, introverted I guess. I'm also very sensitive. I don't like to be shy, I just care too much about what others think. I think this is why I turned to weed. It gave me happiness I guess you can say. I neve
  23. Call me Kylo. I've been know to tear computer consoles to shreds with my unstable lightsaber when I get bad news. I was first diagnosed with anxiety, maybe GAD, in about June of 2010. My son was born in February of that year and I made the decision to quit my job and play stay-at-home dad for a while. My anxiety, which I'd dealt with in the past, dating back to at least high school, but never really identified it, went from dormant to bad to worse in a matter of days. I finally consulted my GP and I was placed on a low dose of Celexa and given Clonazapam for the bad moments. I stayed
  24. Hey everyone! I'm Pretzle, 27 and I'm from the Netherlands. I have a (family) history of depression. Both of my grandmothers and my mother suffer(ed) from depression or other mental issues. My mum has a sister who's schizophrenic and I've struggled with depression since... well, as long as I can remember. I always resisted going on meds, but two years ago I was struggling so much I was finally ready to try them. To be honest, it has changed my life, for the better. I absolutely don't want to hurt anyone's feelings and I understand the view that for a lot of people using these meds is
  25. Hey! I read a lot of topics here already and would like to share my story with you. Also I need some help regarding my long term use of Citalopram. I began using Citalopram in 2008, I was 17 at that time. I felt depressed and had crazy health anxiety with panic attacks. My GP prescribed me 10 mg of Citalopram and since then I am taking it everyday. I changed dosage multiple times, I once was on 40 mg, but came off it after a while when I was feeling better. I tried coming off of it since this year, I was on 30 mg in January and reached 10 mg in late July. I felt good with it, but sadly
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