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  1. Hi, I have been going througha really tough time the past little while and am hoping to find some people who can relate. I went to see my family Dr. around 8 weeks ago because my life had gotten very stressful and I was having some uncomfortable physical symptoms (itchy skin, tingling hands, rining in ears chest pain etc.) I have always been on the anxious/woryer side of things and have always noted that it got worse when I am stressed (work, life, etc) and generally got better when the stress lessened. A number of factors over the past year compounded together made my anxiety worse than it ever was before and I felt I was having a hard time coping. Some of the stresses were difficult to remove (work, worries about family members etc) so I decided to go and seek help from my family Dr. who diagnosed me as having generalized anxiety disorder and recommended that I try Zoloft. I was on Zoloft was Zoloft for approximately 6-7 weeks and was tapered on to the medication at 25mg/week (started at 25mg) to a maximum of 100mg/day. Almost immediately I started to feel "unwell". It's difficult to describe but something just didn't feel right inside my head. My feeling of anxiety got much worse and were consistent (where they were only sporadic before starting the drug. My brain felt "foggy", I had a hard time concentrating and I developed a headache "pressure on both sides of my head" that was almost consistent throughout the day. Most days I felt tired and needed to rest in the afternoon but when I closed my eyes to try to have a nap I would wake up within. 15mins with a sense of panic. I also experienced worse insomnia (that was one of the reasons I had gone to the Dr. in the first place) I returned to my Dr. and asked to be taken off of Zoloft and he sad that these were normal side effects which should stop at around week 4 of taking the drug. He pointed out that it would be shame to stop taking the Zoloft before seeing the positive effects and so he prescribed me .5mg of Clonazepam (taken twice daily) to help with the side effects and to help me sleep. I have a history of drug addiction and alcoholism (sober now for 11 years) and was was afraid of taking the Clonazepam, so i decided to only take .5mg in the evening to help with the insomnia I was experiencing. The Clonazepam helped me sleep better but the combination of the drugs left me feeling groggy the next day. Overall my sense of anxiety got worse than before I initially asked for help so I returned to my Dr and asked to be tapered off the Meds. He agreed that what I was experiencing was not the "normal"/desired effects of the drug and told me to begin tapering off. Per the Dr's instructions I tapered off of the Zoloft by 25mg every 5 days and stopped taking both the Zoloft and Clonazepam (no tapering of Clonazepam) 5 days ago and have felt terrible since then. Below are the symptoms I have had since then: -My head started to hurt immediately - I have been unable to fall asleep and have experienced the worst insomnia I have ever had. I feel as if I am in between sleep and awake for most of the night. - During the day I am dizzy and have a headache. -If I turn my head I feel as if I am going to fall over/dizzy -Almost constant headache/pressure on my temples -I have tinnitus in my ears and my left ear feels fully plugged. -I have an electric feeling that radiates from my head (worse when I turn my head or stand up) which I have read online is called a "brain zap". -When I stand up too suddenly I feel like I'm going to pass out -I am feeling (slightly) paranoid and on the verge of crying (sporadically) throughout the day (particularly when trying to explain to people how I feel) -I feel generally unwell and anxious when I have to go out in public I went back to my Dr. yesterday and he said that he thinks I'm experiencing withdrawal from the Zoloft and that it is normal. He also said that I am not experiencing any withdrawal from the Clonazepam because it was such a low dose for such a short time. He prescribed me Torazadone to help me sleep, which I took last night in a desperate attempt to get some rest and feel "normal" again but I am now very afraid of becoming dependent on that and then needing to go through all this withdrawal again...I'm wondering if I should just "tough it out" and not take anything but the lack of sleep make me feel almost like I'm losing my mind. Part of me feels as if I haven't been taking these drugs long enough to feel this bad and that maybe I am losing my mind or that I should just "suck it up", but the truth is I feel truly awful and am pretty damn scared at the moment. I have come off of street drugs in the past, and do not remember feeling this bad, but maybe that is just because so much time has passed since then. I am hoping I can look back and laugh at tis experience one day. My wife/family are being as supportive as they can but it's hard to verbalize what I am feeling so I came here hoping to gain some support/advice from people who can empathize. I apologize in advance for to those who just had to read through my whole novel..lol
  2. I hope somebody can help me. I was on Zoloft for eight months at a low-dose of 25 mg during my pregnancy. After the pregnancy, it was not working. I had a lot of anxiety. I tried to go up on the dosage and it did not work, so my doctor prescribed Lexapro. She told me just to cut the 25 mg in half for two weeks and introduce Lexapro. Once I introduced Lexapro I had a bad reaction. Now it's been four months later and Im still withdrawing from Zoloft. I'm having terrible dizziness and feeling off balance still. My anxiety has been through the roof. I've been to the ER multiple times for panic attacks. Not my depression is back with a vengeance. However I'm not tolerating meds very well They tried to start me back on a low-dose of Lexapro at 2.5 but it caused a lot of major major anxiety. I'm also having terrible brains zaps that run from really inside my brain to my neck. When I turn my head I had them when I talk I have them when I walk I have them. I think my nervous system has been shot. I should also mention my feelings are everywhere from confusion to worry and fear. I feel like I'm losing my mind. Do you eventually recover from this? Was their permanent damage to my nervous system when I stop Zoloft so quickly. No other medication is working and I'm trying to work with a psychiatrist on this. Do you think my brain will eventually adjust on Lexapro? It's been now three weeks with Lexapro almost 4.Any help would be appreciated I need some reassurance.
  3. How it all started. November 2017 I was prescribed .5 mg of Klonopin to be taken once daily I do not have any pre existing anxiety or health issues. The "medicine" was given to me to help with some stress induced insomnia. Since then the stress that caused the insomnia has long been resolved. I was told this medication was a low dose, and it was perfectly safe, and could be taken nightly for up to 3 months without having any problems with dependency or addiction. Even though i told the doctor 11 years prior i had a bad withdrawel from Ativan that was prescribed to me after my mothers death. He said klonopin is much safer and easier to come off of. Also i took increasing doses of Ativan for close to a year... so of course it was hard to withdraw from... I took the Klonopin .5mg exactly as prescribed for about 10 to 12 days, and then for a week after I took half the dose .25 mg. Then i quit... Apparently I'm very sensitive to these types of medications and not biochemically compatible with them, because what happened over the next 8 days, I describe as increasing anxiety, insomnia, and irrational fear, that got to the point (8 days out) of having absolutely zero sleep the night before and feeling completely detaches from reality. Now i wish i would have realized what was happening and stuck it out, because I'd probably be 100% recovered by now. However, I ( like so many of us ) went running back to the doctor for help. I made an emergency appointment with my doc. He prescribed me a very high dose of Gabapentin and told me that its a great new medication used for benzo and alchohol withdrawels. He promised me that this drug was completely safe and not addictive at all as he did with the Klonopin. but he convinced me of it by telling me it wasn't a controlled substance. It worked great for about a week, but then all of those strange withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin started coming back, and I required more of the Gabapentin to control those symptoms... My doctor actually said I could pick up the 3600 mg of it a day if need it without any worry of withdrawal. I had a massive bottle of 300mg pills and another massive bottle of 100mg pills to "fill in" I got to the point where I was taking 300 mg in the morning, 300 mg in the afternoon, and 1200 mg at night. But something just didn't feel right, I wasn't myself, I felt like I had suddenly lost 10 or 15 IQ points, the world seemed dull and so did my emotions. So the doctor pulled me off the gabapentin and put me back on the klonopin and once stable I would do a very slow taper, i was desperate to feel normal again so i agreed... I was pulled from the gabapentin after being on it for only 9 days... but with no taper and put back on the klonopin. Only this time it was not really working... I am well aware of Heather Ashton, slow tappering, micro tappering, and the effects benzos have on our gaba receptors... i personaly think Ashton is to highly regarded... I think the cross over to valium is a bad idea and does not work out for a lot of people... i respect the work she did, and her research, but that information is out dated and had needed to be continued and expanded upon. I do not agree all benzos effect the brain the same way the only difference is half life... My doctor thought going on valium would be my best option because of the long half life.... but there was no transition, it was just simply stop the Klonopin 1 day and start on 8mg diazapam the next... valiums main chemical of action breaks down in just 4 hours, while the rest of it just builds up in our systems... so the relief factor is short, while the rest of the chemicals just build up. Where I am at now I am currently taking 3 mg of Valium in the morning and 3 mg of Valium at night as well as 300 mg of Gabapentin in the morning and 300 mg at night ( yes im back on the gaba... mainly because the lack of sleep that started after my 2nd valium cut was just killing me) . This process is drawn out for the better part of a year now, and I'm still not medication free, and I'm still suffering insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of detachment. What I'm really wondering is if anyone has been on this combination of medications, and how they approached the taper. It doesn't matter which one I cut, I feel the effects of both in very much the same way with the same type of symptoms. Should I be tapering say half a milligram of Valium every two weeks, and 100 mg of Gabapentin every 2 weeks? Or tackle one at a time??? I apologize as this intro has turn into a book, I'm just very desperate for answers from people who have been through this I'm not seeking medical advice just personal experiences. My doctor and my pharmacist both say that what I'm experiencing is impossible given my dosage. But i know better. Just last year I was a highly functioning, healthy , strong, muscular, independent hard-working man, that ate a very healthy diet. After taking the Klonopin for just 17 days, the aftermath has been the loss of my job, i've had to move in with my sister for the time being. And all any doctor wants to do is give me more drugs or up my doses. I know the reality is this is a side effect kind of withdrawal from the medication so I refuse to do that. I have had a ton of blood work, and other neurological tests that are all perfectly normal I currently take both ionic and threonate magnesium in the middle of the day. I dont know if it helps ot not... i still eat healthy and walk at least 3 miles a day. SYMPTOMS I have lost 10 pounds of muscle, i have diahrea everyday I have benign faciculation dissorter My hands are shakey I have a massive panic attack in the middle of the night that wakes me up After the panic attqck at night I spend the rest of my hours in stage 2 of sleep ( where i feel like im not sleeping but i actually am) during this time i have a constant stream of thoughts, songs stuck in my head, and thins that make literaly no sense at all... I sleep between 2 and 6 hours per night. I have daytime anxiety mainly in the afternoon. Thank you, and best wishes to all of you.
  4. Been quietly observing and reading other peoples posts and finally decided to post my story. My path with AD started with a full blown panic attack. I had never in my life experienced a panic attack so it was very difficult at the beginning. Everybody's different. My panic attacks were debilitating lasting for several hours. Went to see my doctor and was quickly put on benzos. Started with xanax 0.5 mg and was quickly raised to 2.0 mg. Later it was switched out to klonopin 2.0 mg. It did control my panic attacks and my anxiety attacks. Later on I was told to add an AD to further control my panic attacks. This was the fun part where I became my own guinea pig where I had to "FIND THE RIGHT MED" for myself. Initially started with lexapro and was told that it could take up to 4 months for the drug to kick in. 4 months past by and it did nothing. lexapro had no effect on me. Tried viibryd, celexa, paxil, and prozac. Settled with paxil and klonopin for a long time. Towards the end made the jump to cymbalta and klonopin. If it wasn't for people around me telling me how I've changed, over the time frame that I was on these drugs, I would have probably continued taking these drugs. I've lost all emotions nothing in the world gave me any enjoyment. Started drinking heavily to the point where I was drinking every day. Spent money like money grew on trees. I had no apathy at all towards others. I became completely indifferent towards the entire world. I have so much respect towards people here that are maintaining their strict taper schedule. I tried to slowly taper from my drugs but I could never keep it myself. At the first sign of withdrawal I kept running back to my drugs. I decided to throw all my meds out and go the cold turkey route. I fell into a dark abyss. I didn't bother going to no doctor because I knew it was my fight and my fight alone. Woke up with severe panic and dread. It was as if all my nerves were fired up. Every person was associated with a flash back from the past with a very negative flash back from my past. For example, my dad was asking me how I felt and I had a really bizarre flash back from the past where my dad was not so kind to me when I was a kid. It was a memory from the past that I had forgotten for a very long time. This flash back resulted in me with a rage like emotion towards him. Pretty much everyone I met, that had an unkind past with me, brought up these negative flash backs. Entire body feels numb. Light/noise sensitivity. Blurry vision as if I'm surrounded by fog. All my muscles were sore, aching and shaking. Tingling burning sensation on the skin. Itchy anus. Joint pain like I've never experienced before. Difficulty breathing. Flu like symptoms. Severe headaches. Head felt really heavy as if there was a rock embedded in my brain. Messed up sinus. Weak legs. Weak neck. Difficulty speaking. Difficulty balancing myself. Coordination skills severely impaired. Severe tinnitus. Body feels heavy as if gravity increased. Severe dp/dr. One day I spilled my entire plate while eating and I could see my plate fall down in slow motion in 3-D. One day I was cooking and accidentally burnt my hand and I could feel the pain from my hand travel all the way to my brain. I'm pretty sure there were a lot more symptoms that I really can't remember them all. It's been six months now that I've gone cold turkey. I'm still a long ways from recovery but looking back sure as hell feels like I've made some progress. Going cold turkey put my body in full reboot mode and slowly one by one I get to feel parts of my body come alive one by one.
  5. Hi, i'm new to this forum, so forgive me if i make mistakes, i'm still learning. I'm about two years out from withdrawing off of Paxil that i tapered down on, and about one year from one situational exposure to benzodiazepines, and two years from consistent benzodiazepine usage (the klonopin,) as i withdrew both the antidepressant and the benzodiazepine at the same time. I am drug free for an entire year. The drugs tagged in my post are also drugs i have been previously exposed to, or had other exposures in the same class of drugs, (E.g, i have also been exposed to zoloft, prozac, and pristiq in the "Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor" category over the course of 14 years, though paxil was my last exposure to an SSRI drugs.) For the sake of simplicity, i will spare the details. I am posting here today because i am struggling with a couple issues that the specialists i've seen cannot help me with, and i hope to find resources here. I have ruled out thyroid issues, cardiovascular issues, vitamin deficiency in standard ranges, and other infectious disease issues through doctors and testing. I am debating about seeing an endocrinologist, but have lost a lot of faith in medicine since my psychiatric outpatient stent and the answers for my health that continue to elude me. I have listed my main issues below: 1. Fatigue - From what i've read and am trying to understand, fatigue can be a huge factor in antidepressant and benzodiazipine post acute withdrawal because of potential effects on hormones and neurotransmitters. I've also read that amphetamine withdrawal, especially in the context of abuse can cause fatigue, but my exposure to amphetamines was a decade ago, so i don't know if that could still be a contributing factor or not? The fatigue seems to come on intermittently, i drink green tea to help with wakefulness as the fatigue can feel debilitating throughout the day, and i feel like my brain just doesn't want to function on all gears. I am also sensitive to caffeine - if i ingest more than normal it can send me into a panic attack. My intermittent benzodiazepine exposure last year was in part induced by too much coffee, but i used to drink a pot of coffee a day without too much anxiety on paxil. 2. Emotional Blunting - I know that emotional blunting is also a factor in both benzodiazepine and antidepressant use and withdrawal, but i am a little perplexed that i still feel difficulty with emotional attachment. I theorize that this may be due to the benzodiazepine withdrawal mostly, for the reason that benzodiazepines inhibit or prevent neurological recovery from trauma, from what i understand. Is it possible that my body and mind are still in a state of survival even two years out from antidepressant and benzos? I understand that the psychological trauma from years of being medicated may also play a key factor in trust and developing relationships, but that is a psychological piece that should resolve itself through counseling, CBT, once the body begins to function correctly again. My other theory is that all my exposure to drugs over the years, (especially in the context of intermittent antipsychotic and benzodiazipine exposure) has caused irreversible atrophy to the neurological circuitry that is responsible for those functions (pre-frontal cortex and frontal lobe?) I'm looking for any input, resources, or suggestions that might help with those pieces Thanks, - NR EDIT: I don't have any recreational drug exposure either, all my drug exposure has been exclusively psychiatric with the exception of alcohol on a few celebratory occasions. I have also had antibiotic exposures on three separate occasions in the past five years.
  6. Mialiliana1

    Mialiliana: Remeron

    Hi I'm new here currently tapering kolonopin and was wondering if anyone her has ever came off remeron doing a micro taper? Thank you
  7. Hey! I've been on one SSRI or another since i was 18. I'm 37 now. I've come off Zoloft, Paxil (twice), Klonopin (i know it's not an SSRI), and now Lexapro. I was on Lexapro for about 4 years. Most SSRIs that i have been on stop working after about 3-4 years. Recently it was suggested that i might be on the bipolar spectrum. I'm mostly hypomanic. When i get depressed, I'm still hypomanic, so i have mixed states that result in severe anxiety. Everything i have ever taken has been a result of anxiety. ANYWAY. I wish i had come across this site earlier. I started having severe anxiety and panic late last year (November) while on 5mg of Lexapro ( i had dropped myself from 10mg to 5mg sometime in the last 4 years because i was sleeping all the time. 1.5 hour naps every afternoon, then another 9 hours at night). So when my anxiety went up i upped my lexapro (with a doctor's consent) to 10mg (January). Things were a little better, but not much. I went to 15mg (February). This was not good. crawling in my skin, suicidal thoughts. I lasted on 15mg for 3 weeks, then dropped to 10. I had just begun seeing a new therapist at this time. He advised that i get of Lexapro immediately. So i "tapered off". Since my base was around 5mg it was not hard to get back to 5mg (was good at 5mg by March). Then i went from 5 to zero in about 3 weeks. That sucked. I dropped off completely on Tuesday April 12. Exactly 2 weeks ago. I've had to supplement with Klonopin to deal with some of the anxiety. So i'll have to deal with coming off that again, but with a slow enough taper i know i can do it (the last time i came off Klonopin i spent 6 months tapering). I was not aware that SSRIs required the same type of taper but i should have known. My Paxil withdrawals were nightmarish. Lexapro has been pretty bad as well. The brain zaps seem to have stopped, but i still get dizzy every day. My mood swings are FAST and they suck. I had a great deal of anger and agitation when i first started tapering. That seems to have cleared up. My face gets tingly sometimes (usually my lips). As far as anxiety and depression... It comes and goes. good days and bad days. If i can stay motivated and busy, i tend to do quite a bit better. The only thing is, i can't really relax. I don't drink. I kinda wish i did (not really) Since i started coming off Lexapro, i started trying to take care of myself. I started taking Omega 3, a probiotic, and Magnesium daily. I started working out 3x a week. I try to meditate once a day. (i've been doing this for a few years). I'm here to soak up the information and maybe help if i can.
  8. Hi Guys, I had a difficult childhood but rather not common! I have wonderful and spiritual parents but I was born a worrier with intense fear of the world. Who knows, maybe genetics, etc… The fears made me feel different and I didn’t develop like the standard child in the 70’s. I avoided social gatherings, had no real friends but otherwise healthy as per my pediatrician. I was aware of my fears but thought that some threats are forever when they were not and threats that I had, everyone has, which was also not the case. I kind of managed to get through life while being chastised by my parents that I was lazy, had no self-confidence, low self-esteem, etc… It came to a point where I just couldn’t see eye to eye with my parents nor with the world around me! This caused lots of anxiety, more fears, and a disconnect. Doctors, herbalists, or anything under the sun in the 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s were tried but everything seemed to point to my mental distress although people didn’t give any credence to these kids; either you were a top performer or you were down in the dumps, I guess. To get to the chase, at age 18, I had a panic attack in the summer and then another in the winter at age 19, followed by anxiety symptoms, which at that time were physical and left me worried as a hypochondriac… At age 20, I was becoming convinced I’ll never marry, I’ll never make it in life, and nobody really needs me. My father hates me and my friends are moving along, leaving me behind. At a cousins wedding, I had a horrific anxiety attack, which left me pacing and twitching, not knowing what the morrow will bring. Of course, my parents at that time took me serious and tried to console me, without success. To make a long story short, I was introduced to my first Psychiatrist/Butcher. After 45 minutes, I had a prescription for Prozac and Zanax, being promised I will heal and that the drugs were not addictive. His psychotherapy was worse than no therapy and after a while, I was introduced to the new phenomenon of being drugged for life. Change of meds to Paxil made no difference. I was encouraged to get married (bad advice!) while taking all the drugs. Although I was not comfortable, somewhere down the line my parents convinced me to cut medication. Off with the Xanax (too fast, of course) and tapered the paxil to 10mg (too fast, of course!). I was doing well (so to speak) until I collapsed into a more horrible depression with suicidal ideation and urges. Well, I think you can guess the rest and I won’t bore you with 10-15 useless years. Changed and added new meds. Ranging from: Paxil, Klonopin, Lithium, Zyprexa, Lamictal, Ritalin, Trileptal, Effexor XR. I was separated and made the mistake to get back before I was ready, pushed by a psychiatrist with an agenda! Started with worse anxiety, I ended up seeing a psychiatrist that introduced washout in Cornell at Westchester, NY. What a slam of a deal! Stupid people tapered me off all the drugs in a 3 week range, leaving me with panic attacks that hit the roof. Sleeping was damaged, so was I. I complained, so they reinstated Klonopin, added: Depakote, Ambien for sleep, Lexapro, Seroquel low dose for sleep, and Wellbutrin XL. I was one big mess. This happened in 2013. I was separated, to be divorced, after that incident for good. Living in my parents’ house was hell and the doctors and parents started blaming me for being not motivated and a weakling. After a few months of torture, I started seeing a psychologist that works with the “system” suggesting a new, best in the world psychiatrist for meds and he’ll do the therapy… Now my regimen has changed to: Cymbalta, Wellbutrin XL, Klonopin continued, Viibryd, Seroquel increased, and Deplin. I wasn’t doing too great and my parents suggested holistic medicine. A cortisol test confirmed the highest level of cortisol 24hr a day. I was given supplements, a diet plan, and Seriphos. The Seriphos worked like a charm and after a couple of months, I was read to even think about withdrawing from drugs. I started with Wellbutrin and went down to 75mg Regular release (from 450mg), Cymbalta to 60mg (from 120mg). Still stuck on Seroquel 200mg, Klonopin 2.5mg, and Viibryd 20mg. This is where I crashed and had to stop the withdrawal, for now. I can’t seem to break below 60mg of Cymbalta and was told by people on this forum, outside of forum that I need to go slower. I guess this is where I’m now. A short and sweat hell. After the Hospital event, where I stayed for a month behind locked doors and fortress like walls, I seemed to not respond to the drugs the same way anymore and have constant mood swings and other withdrawal symptoms. I’m working in NY as a Database Reporter and trying to keep my job despite the difficulties… I have two wonderful kids and I’m hoping and praying to G-d that things will turn around and get better. Maybe this forum will allow me to learn other people’s experiences so I’ll heal smater! I am seeing a new holistic practitioner and taking lots of supplements. I also took the 23andme genetic test showing some defects. Did multiple testing and I guess it’s a hit or miss; sometimes I’ll feel better, other times not!
  9. Hello, I am 24 years old, and am currently going through what I think are Lamictal withdrawals. My story is rather long and complicated, so I will try to sum it up as best I can. If anyone wants me to explain anything further, I can do that as well. I was diagnosed Bipolar II in 2010 at 18 yeara old, and was prescribed Lexapro, Seroquel, Vyvanse, and Klonopin. I immediately felt like a zombie, and stopped taking everything but the Lexapro. Fast forward to May of 2016, I am only on 5mg of Lexapro now and feeling rather depressed. My new psychiatrist wants to try a mood stabilizer (I have always fought against doctors wanting to add new drugs to my cocktail). Unfortunately, my parents convinced me that a new pill would be the answer, and I started up on 25mg of Lamictal. For two weeks I took that and felt alright, a slight improvement I guess. Two weeks later I bumped up to 50mg and started noticing a decent improvement, but also some pretty noticeable side effects. Two weeks later, I upped the dose to 100mg, and the next day felt absolutely horrible. I got terrible flu like symptoms, rash on my hands and feet, swollen glands, spread throat, stomach pains, etc. I went to the hospital and they said it was just a virus. I continued to take 100mg of Lamictal. Two days later, the rash had now spread to my whole body and was extremely itchy. I went back to the ER, and again they said it was just a virus and had nothing to do with Lamictal. I took it upon myself to stop taking 100mg that day (June 5, 2016). The rash went away almost immediately, but the withdrawal symptoms were unbelievably overwhelming so I reinstated 50mg three days later when I couldn't take it anymore. I stabilized for two weeks on 50mg, until I got yet another itchy rash, this titem accompanied with a very dizzy headache and a lot of cognition problems. I stopped cold turkey again, and made it three days before needing to reinstate 25mg as the withdrawal was too much to handle. I then stayed on 25mg for a week (still feeling absolutely horrible the whole time). I experienced insomnia (jerked myself awake every time I was about to fall asleep), rapid heart beat, extreme anxiety, worse depression then I've ever had before, zero appetite (lost 13 pounds and am already underweight), dizziness, terrible brain fog, confusion, memory loss, dp/dr, shakiness under the skin, back and neck pain, extreme fatigue, bouts of crying, extreme anger, and much more. After trying to stabilize at 25mg for that week, both my pDoc and GP told me just to stop the 25mg as it wasn't making anything better and I was past the worst of it. They also prescribed me 2 weeks of Klonopin as I basically hadn't slept the past week. I took my last pill of Lamictal on July 1, 2016. It's now been two weeks since taking my last pill, and I'm not sure if I feel any better. One moment I feel alright and think I can push through, the next minute I feel like it's going to last forever and I should reinstate a small dose and try to stabilize there first. Then I think I've already made it through 14 days with no pills, and my symptoms are not nearly as bad as they were when I was taking 25mg of Lamictal at the end of the taper. The first week after stopping Lamictal I felt rather depressed, but somehow still hopeful that things would get better. I still had a very rapid heart rate, trouble sleeping, dizziness, and feeling generally uneasy, but it wasn't too bad at all. This second week has been somehow harder though, and I feel like I don't know what to do. I am now pretty dizzy all the time, my loss of appetite is back, and I usually feel pretty depressed and hopeless about the future. I also have almost no interest in anything that used to bring me happiness. It's getting somewhat overwhelming and I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just keep fighting? Both my mother and my pDoc think that I should keep pushing through and eventually things will get better. I want to believe that but I feel like my hope is fleeting me each day that I wake up and feel the same. I also am very addicted/dependant on Marijuana, and use it to sleep, eat, stop anxiety, feel better, etc. However, after this whole issue whenever I smoke it makes everything a million times worse. Unfortunately, when I don't smoke, all I can think about is smoking pot and that it will make me feel better. So I then proceed to smoke, feel worse, and then painfully sober up until I go through the whole process again. I want to stop smoking altogether, and have tried hundreds of times, but have never made it more than a few days before I feel like I'm losing my mind. I was taking .25mg of Klonopin 2x/day these past two weeks, but have decided to stop that now as I don't want to become dependant on it. I have also been meditating, eating healthy (when I do eat), trying to stay positive, trying to exercise and stay busy, got myself on a sleep schedule, and want to start taking some supplements. None of these things I was doing before all of this. I also scheduled an appointment with a talk therapist (as I feel I have some deep rooted issues causing my anxiety/depression) and with a Neurofeedback Center (in hopes of lessening my anxiety/depression, reducing pot addiction, and resetting my brain to its natural state). If anyone could offer any insight or advice or experience with anything I've been going through I would be extremely grateful. Right now I have so many concerns I don't even know where to start. Should I continue pushing through the Lamictal withdrawals in hopes the symptoms will reside soon? Should I reinstate any amount of Lamictal to stop the withdrawals symptoms? But couldn't that cause worse symptoms like it did when I was on Lamictal in the first place? Should I keep taking the Klonopin to help with anxiety/sleep or should I stop? Should I just cold turkey stop or try and taper down the Klonopin? Is it possible to already be dependant on Klonopin after only two weeks? I feel as though I may be dependant on it to sleep. Sorry for the long post, I'm not sure if that's alright, but I've been holding this in for a while and am not really sure where else to turn.
  10. emergingfromhell

    emergingfromhell: Tips

    Hi. I'm HOPEFULLY coming out of what could be called a 7 month mental breakdown induced by antidepressant roulette ....I've read so many of your stories over the last few months (which have been the worst) and they have helped me...so I feel like I should share my experience in case anything in it can help someone else. First is a short version of what happened to me. Below that is a list of specific things that helped me. And below that, I've shared a longer version in case you'd like more details. I'm truly in awe of how behind psychiatry is. No one should have to suffer like this. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME - I was on Wellbutrin and Prozac for a few years - couldn't quite get the balance right (turns out SR and XL were getting messed up so that didn't help). I was always a little too anxious or a little too depressed. It wasn't bad, but could have been better so I thought I'd try something new. First, I got off Wellbutrin CT. Prozac alone was hell - probably bc of Wellbutrin withdrawal. Then I cross tapered Prozac with Pristiq. Pristiq worked for a month then stopped- I was in hell again - probably delayed Prozac withdrawal. Then I added Ability to the Pristiq - horrible side effects. Then I stopped those CT and I took Viibryd. Pristiq/ Ability withdrawal + Viibryd side effects, and after all I'd already been through, worse than hell. I took Klonopin and 10mg Prozac to wean off of that. I started to feel slightly human again. I got back on Wellbutrin and Prozac and felt more human. Then had to wean off the Klonopin - worse than what's worse than hell. Now I'm just on the Wellbutrin and Prozac like I was originally and I finally feel like a person again. What a nightmare - 5 withdrawals in 7 months. Anyway...I've learned some things.... THINGS I'VE LEARNED - Medicine tips: 1. Try to stay consistent with a pharmacy/manufacturer if you're taking generic bc that can make you respond differently to the medicine (I think that was a problem with my wellbutrin originally - also XL is smoother than SR and it's important to stay consistent with that as well) 2. Adding Prozac while weaning off an anti-d can really help with withdrawal 3. Wellbutrin can increase the concentration of Prozac in the body if taken together which is important to know when tweaking the dosage 4. Don't CT anything even if you're on something else or getting on something else. 5. Changing is a REAL b**** so only do it if you have to. 6. If you have to take a benzo to help with withdrawal, don't take it everyday or for too long bc you'll have another withdrawal and nothing to help with that one. Anxiety: 1. When panicking, holding ice, getting in a really hot bath, running or doing push ups can be good bc your heart is racing due to a threat it doesn't understand...when you give it a real reason to race and then take it away...your heart feels the threat is removed and will slow down a bit. Plus your mind will focus on that pain instead of on the more painful racing negative thoughts. In some messed up way, it's like a less harmful version of cutting. 2. Lavender oil is very calming, and smell is the only sense with a direct pathway to the amygdala which is the part of your brain associated with mood and emotions. Smells that remind you of happy times work as well. 3. Warm baths helped me more than anything. Increasing body temperature can help regulate mood. Sometimes, putting cold water on for a little helps as well bc that can help circulation and increase oxygen. Switching back and forth can help with the chills/hot flashes that come with withdrawal. 4. After bath, I put towel down on floor and did some stretches to open chest and hips bc that's where we carry a lot of grief. I recommend making it part of a morning routine. 5. Writing affirmations on paper with a pencil or pen can be therapeutic. Find words that resonate with you - simple sentences. It sounds silly, but it actually helped. 6. If people are pissing you off, but you know you shouldn't be confrontational in this state, write them letters that you don't send. 7. Fresh air really helps, even if you just open a window. 8. The mornings are the worst bc of Cortisol. 9. Google Alternate Nostril Breathing and do that for longer than feels comfortable. Also, when taking deep breaths, the exhale should be longer than the inhale and is more important, but if you do it for a really long time, make them equal so you don't get light-headed. 10. There's a good mediation app called "Insight Timer" and another called "Calm". 11. I read a book called "Love Warrior" that was a good distraction and very relatable. If you have stress relating to a toxic relationship, "Women Who Love Too Much" is also a great book. 12. Binge on a Netflix series to distract your mind. The Moth app is good for that also if watching is too hard. 13. Hugging or cuddling releases oxytocin and can really calm stress. Massages obviously help a ton as well. 14. Imagine a happy place in detail - the smells, sounds, textures etc...for a proper amount of time. Get lost there. 15. Talk to yourself and tell yourself the things you wish someone would say to you to calm you down. You'll feel crazy at first, but it helps. 16. People who've had easy experiences don't write on message boards, but there are plenty. So don't get discouraged only reading horror stories on here. They're the worst cases. 17. Focus on today. Making big changes to address the underlying issues that caused the original anxiety and depression are things to consider once you're stable. And whatever in your life is getting messed up bc of the state you're in, focus on fixing those later when you're better as well. Be honest with work, family, friends etc and hope for compassion. In the meantime, think of the next right thing to do and the next breath. One thing at a time, one moment at a time. Everything else will be much less daunting and easier to fix when your biochemistry isn't going haywire...so cut yourself some slack. Nausea: 1. Pepto can help. 2. Chocolate Boost Plus is good for when you're too nauseous to eat but need to keep weight up. Banana and peanut butter smoothies with chocolate protein powder helped me. Whole foods has a bunch of shots, smoothies etc if you can't make them. 3. Pedialite can help with dehydration. 4. Three fingers from your wrist is the pressure point for nausea. 5. Ginger helps more than you'd think. Ginger candies to suck on are good. Despite what people say, I found Ginger Ale made me more nauseous. Loved Ones: 1. It's helpful if other people can make many of the daily small decisions for you bc thinking at all can be really overwhelming. 2. Complicated conversations about politics, business etc should happen in another room. It's important to focus on simple and positive things to help your brain heal 2. Google SSRI withdrawal symptoms and show them to your loved ones so they know what to expect and so they know your behavior is the result of a chemical clusterfuck and is not reflective of a new or old you. 3. Explain to loved ones that if you sense their anxiety about your anxiety or their fear or impatience, you will feel it magnified and it will slow your recovery massively. You need to be around supportive people who will tell you you're going to be ok and keep you calm. That's crucial. From Me to You: This is only temporary. You will get through this and be yourself again, no matter how impossible that seems while you're in it. I know my story isn't very encouraging, but I really believed the new me was going to have to live like that forever, and I really didn't think I'd survive if that was the case. But I did survive and I'm here now - feeling like the old me with a new appreciation for everything, and the hope that what I went through will somehow help someone else. Here's the more detailed version if you think it might provide some useful information - about what NOT to do For a few years, I was on 300 wellbutrin and 40 prozac... I couldn't quite get the balance right for anxiety/depression, and I thought maybe being on just one drug would be a better idea. My doctor suggested I CT the wellbutrin and up my prozac from 40 to 60. I stayed on just Prozac for the month but crashed - fatigue, anxiety, depression - and A LOT of it. I still don't know if that was wellbutrin withdrawal but, in hindsight, I suspect it may have been. I went to a new doctor who suggested I try Pristiq bc my mom does well on Effexor (strong proof that members of the same family tend to do well on the same drugs) and it was the improved version. Also bc I had done well on Cymbalta years earlier, except for the intense fatigue, she thought another SNRI might be good for me. I weaned off Prozac in a couple of weeks while taking the Pristiq. It worked really well for about a month on it's own and then I crashed again - fatigue, anxiety, depression - and A LOT of it. Again, in hindsight, I wonder if the prozac had a delayed withdrawal bc that can happen even though doctors don't acknowledge it much. I raised the Pristiq by 25 for a couple weeks and it didn't help. Studies have shown that increased levels of Pristiq doesn't increase efficacy of the drug...it's just more to get off of later. So I went back down to 50 and my doctor then added 5mg of Ability. I had awful side effects - restlessness, jumping out of my skin, major depersonalization, etc. She suggested Rexulti which has less side effects but isn't covered by insurance and would have been 1k a month so I tried Geodon instead for three days - same class of med, same problems. So I gave up on Pristiq. Stopped CT and started 10mg of Viibryd. That's when things started to get really really bad. I basically compounded Pristiq withdrawal with Viibryd side effects. I eased up over a month to 40mg - the therapeutic dose. I woke up in a panic attack every morning, I couldn't function at all, I could barely talk or eat. I felt terrified and almost catatonic. I took 20mg at 11am and 20mg at 3/4pm, and you have to take it with food which is hell when you're that nauseous. It got a little better after 5/6 pm everyday which was strange. It also got a little better at 40mg in that my good windows would last a little longer but my bad ones were still awful and still lasted for the majority of my day. I added Valium in the morning but didn't want to get addicted so I'd go three days or so then experience increased depression when I stopped. My doctor kept telling me to be patient, that things would turn around, but after two months of feeling like I was dying everyday, unable to function and having suicidal thoughts, I lost any bit of patience I had left. He had also told me that he thought a lot of this was psychological not chemical and that I should spend more time talking to my therapist. Anyone who has been through awful side effects and/or awful withdrawal very much knows the difference between issues that can be resolved by a therapist and issues that need a good psychiatrist. The only thing I needed to talk to a therapist about at the time was the physical pain I was in due to the medicine. I saw another doctor who told me to wean off the Viibryd - that I should be feeling better by that point. I honestly thought I wouldn't make it through another withdrawal period, but the Viibryd was so bad for me that the withdrawal was actually less miserable than the side effects had been. She also told me to take Klonopin .5mg in the morning and at night. My anxiety was way worse in the morning so I took it then, but fortunately, didn't get addicted to the full 1mg a day bc I didn't take it at night. She also added Prozac - 10 up to 20 while I weaned down on Viibryd. After being off of the Viibryd for a little over a week, I needed to figure out what anti-depressant was next. I honestly felt too scared to try anything else so I added 300xl of Wellbutrin to the 20 Prozac - a little less than I was on originally - before I started all the changes. Still not finished - then I had to withdraw from the .5 Klonopin I'd been taking for a month. I cut in half for a week then half of that for 3 days. I suffered terribly that whole time and then for a few days after my last dose. I am writing you from the other side. So...I basically went through all of the hell to circle back to where I started, and I definitely didn't have it in me to get off altogether bc I know adjusting to life without meds after 16 years on them is going to be a bigger task than I have the energy for right now...but I did learn some things....
  11. Admin note: link to Rafatennis' benzo thread - Rafatennis: Clonazepam and Nortriptylene Withdrawal Really enjoyed reading the information by the administrator on this site. I too was sold on the idea that I needed to reduce a benzo Clonazepam before the Nortriptylene but have had little success. When I read that its best to taper off the activating AD first it made total sense. I'm currently holding at 1.5mg clonazepam and have recently started reducing the AD, dropped from 25mg to 23mg over the last two weeks using the water titration method from this site, what I did was put the 25mg capsule of Nort into 25 ml of water and shook the combination and drew out 2ml of the combination for a 2mg reduction. Lat night after two weeks I dropped to 20mg. My question is do I continue to reduce by 2mg all the way to zero or use some different % ratio. Thanks and glad to be connected with this group,
  12. ostrich

    ostrich

    As a teenager I was on anti-psychotic stelazine, then off all meds till my early 40's. I started on prozac in order to improve mood and productivity in 1994. I went off it for a few years to maintain a certain license and my symptoms worsened over time. Went back on it in 1999, switched to weekly dose around 2002 (90mg). That seemed to become less effective as time went on and it was upped to 180mg. Added Strattera at various doses starting in 2003 with major physical reactions (all food tasted foul, stomach and abdominal cramps severe enough to require hospitalization, and 2 small heart attacks at 40 mg, leg and toe cramps at 50mg, settled on 25mg). I sometimes don't take the strattera in less stressful seasons (summer, christmas) and only notice a loss of focus. After a recent heart attack (3rd) switched back to 20mg of prozac daily. Not only no side effects, but feeling much better. From reading the book "Lost Connections" and some of the research cited, I've decided to start weaning myself off of the prozac first and then the strattera. I plan on taking about 4 months to wean off of prozac, wait a few months, then ditch the strattera.
  13. AlanHarper

    AlanHarper: need help

    I am new here, although I did try to start an account awhile back. I am sure there is much on Paxil withdrawal. I cam off of 2mg of klonopin and still am on paxil which I wish to discontinue. I am using Alan Harper as pseudonym. Is there someone out there who is willing to help me in my desire to stop using paroxetin 20mg.? Thanks.
  14. blueyes

    blueyes: My Story

    Hi Everyone! I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself and share my story.... I was on Lexapro for 12 years. I actually think I have been on something else when I was pregnant but I honestly can not remember due to the short term memory loss these drugs have given me. Anyhow, the lexapro gave me insomnia so the doctor also put me on a sleeping pill called Lunesta...when I switched over health insurances to Kaiser, the doctor told me they don't cover Lunesta and told me to try this other "sleeping pill" called Klonopin. Little did I know, Klonopin is worse than Xanax. I was taking the Klonopin for over 2 years. I also started gaining weight so the doctor also put me on another pill called phentermine for 6 years to help curve my appetite. When I found out all these drugs were addicting I got nervous so I starting lowering my dose of all the pills over an 10 week period (which now I know was way too fast). By June 1st, 2016 I was off all the drugs. My initial withdraws were not so bad then bam come the 3rd month...ALL hell broke lose. I literally had almost every withdrawal possible and they only got worse as the days went on. I was like a vegetable...couldn’t see well, hear well, confused, hard time comprehending simple things, felt out of my body, depersonalized, dizzy, disoriented, diarrhea everyday, no appetite, sensitive to light, losing my hair and the list goes on and on. I literally felt like I was living in hell. As the days turned into weeks then months things only got worse. I ended up with so much anxiety and depression like I have never experienced before. Then the insomnia kicked in so bad I ended up not sleeping for 3 straight weeks which made me manic. I was pacing around the house like a crazy woman. Then I became extremely, extremely suicidal.... Meanwhile, during all this, I kept walking in the evening for exercise, working, journaling and begging God to help me but NOTHING was working. I finally googled what I was going through and it was ALL right there.... withdrawals from the meds!! I ended up in a mental ward for 10 days. It was literally the worst experience of my life. In the hospital they tried to drug me up again. I ended up getting back on something just so my brain would go back to normal. Right now, I am only on 10mg of Prozac and thankfully I'm off the Klonopin and Phentermine! I’ve been off the Lexapro and Phentermine for 18 months and the Klonopin for 7 months. I am still feeling weird. It’s been a little bit over a year since I was hospitalized. I’m not sure if I’m still going through withdrawals from all the previous meds I got off of or if it’s side affects from the Prozac. As if today, I am still losing my hair and have to wear a wig full time because of all the hair loss. My memory and vision are horrible but getting a little better. I still have racing thoughts everyday but that’s getting better as well. I have 2 young children and dont really look forward to anything. It’s almost like I can’t wait to die but I’m not suicidal. I feel flat with no happiness or joy. I never want to do things and nothing really bothers me now. My initial plan was to start a very slow taper of the Prozac this May as that will put me a year off the Klonopin but I am now having 2nd thoughts. I feel like maybe I should stay on the Prozac a couple years till my children get a little older and start a really slow 3 - 4 year micro taper. I am just so scared of going mentally ill again. I would love to hear positive stories of people who have been on antidepressants for years and have safely tapered and are doing well! Thank you for listening to my story! God Bless!!
  15. I'm holding at .25 mg of clonazepam twice a day. Since September 2017 have been slowly tapering down from .5mg , 3 times a day from Aug 2017. The madness started when I tried to taper off 1 mg of xanax 3 times a day in May 2017 . I could not taper off xanax , even with a trial of ativan or valium both intolerable. 2 mg dose of valium caused uncontrollable shaking of body and stuttering when speaking . Ended up in Aug 2017 , in hospital , pulled off xanax, thrown on mirtazepiene , gabapentin and clonazepam . Have slowly tapered off the gabapentin and mirtazepiene, one at a time . I need help in lowering my dose of clonazepam , because have been holding for 30 days + due to on and off internal vibrations , and the start of warming spine with tingling , assorted chills on and off, etc . My fear is the next taper will bring constant burning of spine , as had with xanax , and worse the reinstatement of gabapentin. Gabapentin did stop burning spine but with depression, blurred vision, weight gain and acne like eruptions on face and neck , as well as other side effects , etc. I need help on my next drop . Do I just stay where I am at and hope the internal vibrations, tingling , and warming spine at some point stop ? I'm very strong and determined to be free of this drug but do not know how to endure burning nerve pain from withdrawal . I have tried topical magnesium oil , oral melatonin for sleep , Ubiquinal , etc to no avail. Ubiquinal at low dose reved me up , just to stimulating . Who knows if placebo effect , but tart cherry juice , twice a day allows for some sleep. I find my body during tapering, less is more and fear supplements cause more harm due to a very sensitive nervous system. I do take vitamin b with c and vitamin d . I follow a low cholesterol diet , no alcohol or caffeine . My DR. does not believe in protracted withdrawal or that my symptoms stem from benzos . A neurologist disagrees as thankfully no neurological damage just neurological symptoms every time a cut in dose is made . Does any one have any insight to ease my suffering ?
  16. Hi everyone, I have been on Klonopin since 2013 and started my taper in tolerance withdrawal this past February at 2.5 mg's a day. My method of tapering was to liquefy .5 mg's in 100 mL's of milk and reduce by 10% a month while taking the rest of my dosage dry. Things were far from good but ever since I've been at about 1.75 when I slowed to 5% I've been completely non functional. I'm extremely dizzy, have DP/DR, horrible morning anxiety, agoraphobia, bad gastro issues, insomnia, depression and many other symptoms that I'm sure many of you suffer from. I know that everyone is different and that a MT was not a guarantee to a smooth ride by any means but I at least thought it would be bearable. I don't work, I don't see my friends, my memory and photo-sensitivity are so bad that I can't really even watch TV/movies/sports and I honestly have no idea how anyone can live like this for a prolonged period of time. My prescriber is extremely unwise when it comes to benzos and attributes any worsening in my symptoms entirely to my "underlying anxiety disorder" while pushing drugs even though I've been seeing her for three years and have gotten MUCH worse as I unwittingly let her up my Klonopin dosage and try several SSRI's and other psych meds. I just don't know how to progress. I am at 1.5 mg's so I am just holding there and taking my full dosage dry for the time being but I don't know whether to try a cut and hold or find someone who will oversee a Valium crossover (which I've been looking for to no avail for a long time) or what. I just don't know if there's anything that I could be doing to limit the amount of suffering that I'm going through and I'm feeling very hopeless and confused. I don't ever seem to "stabilize" but I don't know how to proceed. I'm not sure what I'm looking for to come out of this but any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  17. Hello all, I believe I am withdrawing from Paxil, Clonazepam or both. I thought I was over with the Paxil withdrawal, and started decreasing my Clonazepam. Lately I can't go for quiet walk without anger and bad memories driving me to quit. I have nightmares, am irritable, angry..I feel like I can't be around anyone. The Paxil quickly lost its effectiveness in treating my depression. I tried to get off of Clonazepam and Paxil years ago, but was having waves of repeating panic attacks. 24/7. At the time I was on 60 mg of Paxil and 3 mg of Clonazepam. Before I was on these drugs, I had anxiety issues, but only 1 full on panic attack. The drugs have made me so much worse. I resumed the medication as quickly as I could. Currently, I thought I was able to get rid of the Paxil, I seemed to be fine. I had to come off of 30 mg, rather than the previous 60. The weaning off period lasted a few months. I don't think reducing the clonazepam is the problem, because taking the full dose doesn't help. I am wondering if I am still having a residual withdrawal issue from the Paxil. I really don't like what it happening to me, and I'm really afraid I won't be able to recover.
  18. Hey everyone, 46 year old single woman here with a history of anxiety and recently some intrusive thoughts & depression because of the anxiety/intrusive thougths. Have been on Remeron, Lexapro and Klonopin since 8/2015, my signature has the complete history and details. Anyway, I am currently trying to taper off 15mg of Remeron mainly due to weight gain and feeling better, but am having a pretty hard time. My psychiatrist originally told me to go down to 7.5 for 2 weeks, then 0 but I knew that would be too fast. I tried to drop by a quarter pill and was ok the first week just a little sadness. The 2nd week got headaches, trouble sleeping, worse mood, fatigue, achiness, a little nausea. At this point I started looking online for other peoples stories and found this site among others. I found information on one site on how to mix Mirt. into a liquid, and started dropping by 1mg a week, currently starting my 4th week and am at 12mg. But honestly I feel like crap. Depression is probably a 6-7 out of 10, having trouble sleeping and that really affects my mood, very low energy, hard to concentrate, some headaches and body aches, intense dreams/nightmares, feel very unmotivated and getting more intrusive thoughts (which I have dealt with for 2 years now). Ironically my anxiety is better! I thought I was going at a slow enough taper, maybe I'm wrong or maybe I wasn't ready. Not sure, just want to feel better though. I really want off the mirt because of weight gain (45 pounds!) and was feeling better, at least before I started taper. I see my psych next week and will talk to him. Just thought I would ask you guys for some advice since you've been there or are currently in the middle of a taper. Any thoughts about what could help me, should I go slower? I think sleep is the main thing that wrecks my mood and gives way to a lot of the other issues. Any tips or kind words would be greatly appreciated! Jade
  19. Hello, I have been on and off of psychiatric medication for a variety of conditions for almost 10 years. My doctors have tried almost everything, first to ease depression, then crippling anxiety, then delusions/psychotic episodes. I have tried almost every drug under the sun, but usually didn't stick with them for very long. There were 2 combinations that I stuck with for a while, though. In college: Klonopin (as needed for anxiety) Prozac Abilify This worked well until I moved home from college and saw a new psychiatrist. He put me on about 7 different medications, which I can't remember all of them. I was admitted into a mental hospital and put on Risperdal to try. I took it because it started to relieve my symptoms, and I didn't know what else to do. After coming off of 4 of the 7 medicines (one being Lithium that I stopped cold turkey), I was left with 3 that I have taken for the last 5 years: Risperdal Lamictal Klonopin (daily) Recently, my doctor decided to take me off Risperdal, as I was having a variety of issues that may or may not have been related to the drug. I tapered the drug (but from what I read on here it was rather fast) from 1 mg to 0 mg in 2 weeks. At first I felt great, actually. I was super calm. The only thing I really felt was "vulnerable", like I could break at any second. And I had 0 tolerance to alcohol. Couldn't even drink a sip. Now, almost a month later (last 1/4 of Risperdal was taken on August 6th), I feel worse than ever. I am struggling with dissociative symptoms, and anxiety so high that I didn't think it was possible to be this anxious. It wakes me up in the night with sweats, and I was up in the morning frozen to the bed with anxiety. I feel like I can't move my body the anxiety is so bad. Immediately pre-ceeding this was a whirlwind of emotions, ranging from extreme anger to happiness, to just acting "not myself". Ever since I stopped though I should mention that the fatigue has been unreal/unbearable. The first two weeks I couldn't make it through the day without a nap. Now I'm just super exhausted all the time. I am looking for some support. Will this ever get better? I just got married and I feel so saddened that I'm not a "normal" person that can get up and do life. I feel like every day I never know what to expect or anticipate. It seems like when one symptoms disappears, another comes. Has permanent damage been done? Is there hope?
  20. Hello fellow survivors, In 1998 I was in the throes of peri-menopause and some life stressors which caused me to experience severe anxiety. Went to my family doc who prescribed some Ativan, which caused me to feel really depressed. I was then prescribed Zoloft and slowly but surely I weaned myself off the Ativan. I have to be honest and say that the Zoloft did help with the anxiety and other peri-menopausal symptoms so I continued to take it. In 2010 my insurance changed and it no longer covered the brand name Zoloft I was using so went on the generic. I did not feel well after I began taking the generic so I went to my psych doc and she wanted to add a mood stabilizer to my regimen. I did not want to go that route so I decided that it was time to get off the medi-go-round. I continued taking the generic Zoloft, but also decided to give bio-identical hormones a try with the hope that I could eventually wean off what I believed was the worse of the two evils...Zoloft. Well, the estrogen patch only made matters worse for me and I went into a severe depression. I then went to see a homeopathic psych doc who increased my Zoloft from 100 mgs to 200 mgs., prescribed Klonopin, and Remeron. Boy was I over-medicated and a mess. Since then I have managed to wean myself from the K...the R and decrease the Z from 200 mgs back to 100 mgs. The more I lowered the meds, the better I felt. I am currently considering weaning completely off the Zoloft, but have so many concerns. It is my hope to continue to learn as much as I can about "surviving antidepressants" to be able to survive without them. Sunflower
  21. Hello all - I am 1 month post taper of Klonopin. Took over 4 months liquid titration. I was given the neurontin to take to assist with the withdrawal process. I take anywhere between 300-900 mg every other day to every third day over the past 3 month. However, I think I am having a bad reaction. I feel suicidal and cry all the time. Since I was not taking alot and was not taking it every day, can I just take a week of oif work and let it get out of my system? Considering it makes me have those horrible suicidal thoughts, I would prefer not to taper, but if you feel that is better let me know. I am so not ready to taper another med and deal with more withdrawls after the hell of the Klonopion, but I need to do what is safest and best for me. Im close to losing my job from suffering job performance due to the Klonopin taper/withdrawl and the fact I sleep once every three days. My brain is a mess. Please help me!
  22. Started with gabapentin and klonopin .. tapered off during pregnancy .. was thrown back on post partum .. didn't take gaba again .. from 3mgs klonopin to 1.25 .. with just mom brain as she's still an infant.. I take inisitol , magnesium , pre biotics .. work out eat clean and am looking forward to being off .. I've been cleared for a cannabis card also
  23. Just began seeing alternative medicine practitioner (DO/Psychologist) in the hopes of finding natural products to replace meds with. Several specialty blood tests taken; waiting for lab results. Cannot see that doc again for 2 months. Need something to help the withdrawal process in the meantime. Don't trust long term psychiatrist. Next appt. on 8/19. Took early retirement in October. Attending classes. Finals this week. Husband laid off in June. I hope to return to work soon. Lots of stress and anxiety. Lost 2nd flash drive last week since May. Lost 2 pairs of prescription glasses this year. Home very cluttered. Very little motivation. Can't think straight. Lost and confused. What forum would be best to post in?
  24. SynyKon

    SynyKon: Need help

    I don't know where to start. Several months ago I began seeing a psychiatrist so I could continue getting my prescriptions for Klonopin. That has always been the best med for me, really helps my anxiety. Due to diagnosed liver damage, she severely lowered my dosage from 0.5mg 3 times daily to only one a day and added paxil for depression even though I told her I don't have depression. I was on that for a month and told her it was not working, if anything I felt depressed since starting the med. So she switched me to 37.5mg of effexor 2 pills per day. After one month, told her it wasn't helping me so she increased my dose to 3 pills per day. I've been on this mix for two months and the longer I was on it, the worse I started to feel. I actually started feeling extremely depressed and overall emotionally unstable. 4 nights ago, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I walked out of my house with all my meds, went to the fire department nearby that was at that time closed and I swallowed my last 10 Klonopin and at least 12 effexor. I grew so dizzy and lightheaded that I could barely walk but managed to get home and fell asleep. For the next two days, I felt fine, just tired but then yesterday out of nowhere, I began feeling very sick with severe abdominal pain, electric shocks shooting through me, severe nausea and diarrhea, numbness everywhere, severe disorientation, lower back pain like an extension from the stomach and abdominal pain, severe dizziness, weakness, emotionally broken (crying uncontrollably for no reason, unable to stop), rapidly changing chills and feeling hot, slightly slurred speech, etc. I could not eat or drink anything, even water, without feeling sick. Finally fell asleep and woke up today with the stomach and abdominal pain so strong I can't stand straight and feel like I might fall, still feeling very weak, severe dry throat, still very nauseated, etc. I am at a loss. All my psychiatrist cares about is getting me working, she does not listen to me at all, very condescending and I do not feel she has my health and safety in her best interest. I currently am without transportation and I'm desperate for help. I'm worried about my liver, the Dr expressed real concern about it but neglected to give me much information other than he was concerned about the damage they found. I'm scared, depressed because I'm in no condition to take care of my 3 year old daughter who keeps asking, "mommy are you sick? You need to go doctor?" Please anyone help.
  25. I'm new to the forums - currently taking 225mg Effexor, .25mg Klonopin, and .25mg Risperdal. My psychiatrist noted that the Risperdal is temporary (will be taking it for about 3 months), but after reading about withdrawal from this particular drug, I'm wondering if I shouldn't begin going off it sooner than that. It's worth noting that the depression and anxiety that I was experiencing even with Effexor and Klonopin did subside almost immediately after beginning Risperdal. At any rate, I already know I'll be beginning a taper off Klonopin soon, after successfully dropping from .5mg to .25mg without any side effects after 4 weeks - I think I got lucky there. I've been on Risperdal for 28 days, so my natural question, given that withdrawal from psychiatric drugs can occur for anyone taking them for "1 month or longer" is whether I should just stop immediately, since it's been just shy of one month and my dose is low, or if I should taper. I understand that I shouldn't expect a definitive answer to this, but I'm very interested to hear what others think and, quite frankly, very scared about what I'm about to face, given the need to taper from two different drugs. My psychiatrist will undoubtedly tell me to just stop taking it after I've been on it for 3 months, as she seems to believe that there are no withdrawal symptoms from any psych. drugs. So I kind of have to go it alone on this decision without guidance from her. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
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