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  1. When i try to taper off, at about the three month mark the terrible feelings of irrational fear return. i have never made it past this point. Has anyone else experienced this? My diagnosis is bi polar 1, with psychotic features in the distant past. Also, i am on lamictal and 5 mg of lexapro
  2. Hi everybody. I never joined a forum before but now it's time. I've been on AD's for about 20 years now. Always resistant to staying on them, because of flat affect and just a lot of fear of side effects. Started on maprotiline (yeah, nobody's heard of it) a tetracyclic, then tried St John's Wort, SAMe, TCM, before getting prescribed Celexa. My pattern was to stay on until I felt OK, than go off, probabl;y way too fast for my sensitive system, and crash. Aside from sadness and lack of energy/motivation, my main symptom was horrible insomnia -- I have atypical PTSD symptoms from a major trauma that included pretty much not sleeping for three weeks. Sleep is a big deal, not sleeping gives me really bad anxiety. So I went up and down on Celexa at the advice of my GP, pretty much staying below 20mg, and at one point on 5mg for quite a while and doing well. Used lorazepam periodically for sleep, and went off that really slowly without too much difficulty. Unfortunately, when I decided to go off Celexa (at the advice of a TCM doc who was supposed to be brilliant and said I didn't need it) I ran into a major stressful life event (my 19 yr old learning disabled daughter got pregnant and decided to have her baby) and crashed. In addition to the stress, it was again probably a mistake to stop 5mg cold. I didn't know. After a few weeks of hell and lots of acupuncture, I went back on but it took too long to start having an effect and... I eventually went to the ER, and was advised by the doc who advised not to go to the psych ward, and prescribed more lorazepam. Two days later I saw a PDoc for the first time. She prescribed a small dose od Zyprexa to "augment" the Celexa, and help me sleep. Which it did -- three days later I felt better and could function again. 20mg Celexa and 1.25 Zyprexa. A couple of months later when I was still up and down she added 50mg of lamictal to help me with "stability". So now on three drugs, sleeping, relatively stable. Over the next couple of years, I was able to bring the Zyprexa down to about .35mg, but couldn't get off without crashing. My PDoc called it a "homeopathic dose" and didn't try to get me off. REALLY sensitive to this stuff. Three years into this, a year ago, I had another stressful stretch, and incrreased to 1mg Zyprexa. Then I developed a tremor in my right hand. I freaked -- my dad had Parkinson's. After being in denial for 4-5 months, I finally went to a neurologist and after several tests told me it could be Parkinson's or it could be the Zyprexa. She suggested I try to switch to Seroquel that is supposedly less likely to have this side effect. Oh my, here comes the really bad part -- my PDoc said I could just do a switch of Zyprexa for Seroquel at "equivalent" doses. She knows how sensitive I am and this was a BIG mistake. I switched, and totally crashed. I was supposed to then increase the Seroquel until I felt better. That lasted about two weeks when I developed akathisia. Was given Cogentin and UGH, I couldn't think, my hands trembled, I couldn't have a normal conversation and my memory went downhill. PDoc said switch back to Zyprexa so I did but now at a higher "equivalent" dose (2.5mg). Akathisia didn't go away. Tried to drop Zyprexa to 2mg and BOOM, more depression. Back up, more akathisia. My PDoc then gave up and passed me on to another PDoc (not a bad thing at this point, but I felt abandoned). Since then, I'm titrating down on Zyprexa by .05mg per week. At 2mg now and akathisia is somewhat better but I still can't relax at all, and I still don't know if the tremor is drug induced or Parkinson's. I get the 10% per month and I plan to follow that as closely as I can. I've had enough of these meds. It makes me really sad that I know it's a long road ahead to get back to a semblance of normal. I wake up every morning trembling and depressed. I eat really healthy and walk 6-9 miles a day. By mid-day I feel a bit better but can't stop obsessing about the tremor. Can't concentrate much or I get really tired. Afraid to go outside my routine because it's more stressful and the symptoms get worse. I'm looking into TMS as a way to support this process. Whoever reads this thanks for listening, it gets really lonely sometimes, I'f you're here, I'm sure you know.
  3. Hey! I've been on one SSRI or another since i was 18. I'm 37 now. I've come off Zoloft, Paxil (twice), Klonopin (i know it's not an SSRI), and now Lexapro. I was on Lexapro for about 4 years. Most SSRIs that i have been on stop working after about 3-4 years. Recently it was suggested that i might be on the bipolar spectrum. I'm mostly hypomanic. When i get depressed, I'm still hypomanic, so i have mixed states that result in severe anxiety. Everything i have ever taken has been a result of anxiety. ANYWAY. I wish i had come across this site earlier. I started having severe anxiety and panic late last year (November) while on 5mg of Lexapro ( i had dropped myself from 10mg to 5mg sometime in the last 4 years because i was sleeping all the time. 1.5 hour naps every afternoon, then another 9 hours at night). So when my anxiety went up i upped my lexapro (with a doctor's consent) to 10mg (January). Things were a little better, but not much. I went to 15mg (February). This was not good. crawling in my skin, suicidal thoughts. I lasted on 15mg for 3 weeks, then dropped to 10. I had just begun seeing a new therapist at this time. He advised that i get of Lexapro immediately. So i "tapered off". Since my base was around 5mg it was not hard to get back to 5mg (was good at 5mg by March). Then i went from 5 to zero in about 3 weeks. That sucked. I dropped off completely on Tuesday April 12. Exactly 2 weeks ago. I've had to supplement with Klonopin to deal with some of the anxiety. So i'll have to deal with coming off that again, but with a slow enough taper i know i can do it (the last time i came off Klonopin i spent 6 months tapering). I was not aware that SSRIs required the same type of taper but i should have known. My Paxil withdrawals were nightmarish. Lexapro has been pretty bad as well. The brain zaps seem to have stopped, but i still get dizzy every day. My mood swings are FAST and they suck. I had a great deal of anger and agitation when i first started tapering. That seems to have cleared up. My face gets tingly sometimes (usually my lips). As far as anxiety and depression... It comes and goes. good days and bad days. If i can stay motivated and busy, i tend to do quite a bit better. The only thing is, i can't really relax. I don't drink. I kinda wish i did (not really) Since i started coming off Lexapro, i started trying to take care of myself. I started taking Omega 3, a probiotic, and Magnesium daily. I started working out 3x a week. I try to meditate once a day. (i've been doing this for a few years). I'm here to soak up the information and maybe help if i can.
  4. Hello, I am 24 years old, and am currently going through what I think are Lamictal withdrawals. My story is rather long and complicated, so I will try to sum it up as best I can. If anyone wants me to explain anything further, I can do that as well. I was diagnosed Bipolar II in 2010 at 18 yeara old, and was prescribed Lexapro, Seroquel, Vyvanse, and Klonopin. I immediately felt like a zombie, and stopped taking everything but the Lexapro. Fast forward to May of 2016, I am only on 5mg of Lexapro now and feeling rather depressed. My new psychiatrist wants to try a mood stabilizer (I have always fought against doctors wanting to add new drugs to my cocktail). Unfortunately, my parents convinced me that a new pill would be the answer, and I started up on 25mg of Lamictal. For two weeks I took that and felt alright, a slight improvement I guess. Two weeks later I bumped up to 50mg and started noticing a decent improvement, but also some pretty noticeable side effects. Two weeks later, I upped the dose to 100mg, and the next day felt absolutely horrible. I got terrible flu like symptoms, rash on my hands and feet, swollen glands, spread throat, stomach pains, etc. I went to the hospital and they said it was just a virus. I continued to take 100mg of Lamictal. Two days later, the rash had now spread to my whole body and was extremely itchy. I went back to the ER, and again they said it was just a virus and had nothing to do with Lamictal. I took it upon myself to stop taking 100mg that day (June 5, 2016). The rash went away almost immediately, but the withdrawal symptoms were unbelievably overwhelming so I reinstated 50mg three days later when I couldn't take it anymore. I stabilized for two weeks on 50mg, until I got yet another itchy rash, this titem accompanied with a very dizzy headache and a lot of cognition problems. I stopped cold turkey again, and made it three days before needing to reinstate 25mg as the withdrawal was too much to handle. I then stayed on 25mg for a week (still feeling absolutely horrible the whole time). I experienced insomnia (jerked myself awake every time I was about to fall asleep), rapid heart beat, extreme anxiety, worse depression then I've ever had before, zero appetite (lost 13 pounds and am already underweight), dizziness, terrible brain fog, confusion, memory loss, dp/dr, shakiness under the skin, back and neck pain, extreme fatigue, bouts of crying, extreme anger, and much more. After trying to stabilize at 25mg for that week, both my pDoc and GP told me just to stop the 25mg as it wasn't making anything better and I was past the worst of it. They also prescribed me 2 weeks of Klonopin as I basically hadn't slept the past week. I took my last pill of Lamictal on July 1, 2016. It's now been two weeks since taking my last pill, and I'm not sure if I feel any better. One moment I feel alright and think I can push through, the next minute I feel like it's going to last forever and I should reinstate a small dose and try to stabilize there first. Then I think I've already made it through 14 days with no pills, and my symptoms are not nearly as bad as they were when I was taking 25mg of Lamictal at the end of the taper. The first week after stopping Lamictal I felt rather depressed, but somehow still hopeful that things would get better. I still had a very rapid heart rate, trouble sleeping, dizziness, and feeling generally uneasy, but it wasn't too bad at all. This second week has been somehow harder though, and I feel like I don't know what to do. I am now pretty dizzy all the time, my loss of appetite is back, and I usually feel pretty depressed and hopeless about the future. I also have almost no interest in anything that used to bring me happiness. It's getting somewhat overwhelming and I don't know what to do anymore. Should I just keep fighting? Both my mother and my pDoc think that I should keep pushing through and eventually things will get better. I want to believe that but I feel like my hope is fleeting me each day that I wake up and feel the same. I also am very addicted/dependant on Marijuana, and use it to sleep, eat, stop anxiety, feel better, etc. However, after this whole issue whenever I smoke it makes everything a million times worse. Unfortunately, when I don't smoke, all I can think about is smoking pot and that it will make me feel better. So I then proceed to smoke, feel worse, and then painfully sober up until I go through the whole process again. I want to stop smoking altogether, and have tried hundreds of times, but have never made it more than a few days before I feel like I'm losing my mind. I was taking .25mg of Klonopin 2x/day these past two weeks, but have decided to stop that now as I don't want to become dependant on it. I have also been meditating, eating healthy (when I do eat), trying to stay positive, trying to exercise and stay busy, got myself on a sleep schedule, and want to start taking some supplements. None of these things I was doing before all of this. I also scheduled an appointment with a talk therapist (as I feel I have some deep rooted issues causing my anxiety/depression) and with a Neurofeedback Center (in hopes of lessening my anxiety/depression, reducing pot addiction, and resetting my brain to its natural state). If anyone could offer any insight or advice or experience with anything I've been going through I would be extremely grateful. Right now I have so many concerns I don't even know where to start. Should I continue pushing through the Lamictal withdrawals in hopes the symptoms will reside soon? Should I reinstate any amount of Lamictal to stop the withdrawals symptoms? But couldn't that cause worse symptoms like it did when I was on Lamictal in the first place? Should I keep taking the Klonopin to help with anxiety/sleep or should I stop? Should I just cold turkey stop or try and taper down the Klonopin? Is it possible to already be dependant on Klonopin after only two weeks? I feel as though I may be dependant on it to sleep. Sorry for the long post, I'm not sure if that's alright, but I've been holding this in for a while and am not really sure where else to turn.
  5. hello. like many here i have been on some sort of anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medication for the better part of my life. i started taking anti-depressants in my late teens after the sudden death of my mother and grandmother. i’ve probably been on 6-8 different medications over the last 20+ years albeit not consistently. in 2010 or so i was diagnosed as bipolar and put on 40mg prozac and 200mg lamictal. in 2017 i decided i wanted to stop taking these medications and at that time i was taking 20mg prozac and 100mg lamictal. in december 2017 i tapered off of both of these medications with my doctor’s approval. that’s right, only one month for both medications. the withdrawal symptoms began sneaking up on me a few weeks into january 2018- a little anger here, some sudden crying spells there... in february things got much worse. i began having tinnitus and some dizzy spells. panic attacks almost daily, often more than once a day, trouble falling asleep and staying asleep almost every night, lots of crying, a good bit of anger and a wee touch of feeling hopeless and doomed for life. i’ve seen my regular dr. three times in the last month or so and one ENT doctor. both advised going back on some sort of SSRI. i explained to my dr. in my most recent visit that, after doing a fair amount of research, i felt my symptoms were a result of me discontinuing the prozac and lamictal (and so suddenly). it was his opinion that withdrawal symptoms from those drugs only last a matter of days and therefore couldn’t be the source of my current woes. he wrote me a prescription for lunesta and lorazepam (which i have taken sparingly for sleep) and also one for buspar (haven’t filled that one). needless to say i’m lost. i have two young children that are my love and life so giving up is not an option but neither is going back on the prozac, lamictal or any antidepressants for that matter. i should add that i am exercising regularly-almost daily and i eat a WFPB diet so at least i have those two things going for me. emotionally, though, i’m exhausted and i don’t know what to do. yes, i know i tapered WAY too quickly but i can’t change that now. any advice is appreciated. thank you.
  6. Hi, im asking for advice on 12.5mg lamotragine taper that i plan for the new year. ive been taking it for 8 weeks today as a mood stabiliser. i have felt better but that may also be a result of the tamazepam taper starting a few weeks later and the anxiety around the potential breakdown of my relationship being removed as he did infact leave. hes a lovely caring man though who just couldnt hear my distress ans thoughts of ending it all anymore...its been a really hard year and september/October/ november in particular were hard. pregnancy, miscarriage and precervical cancer all in one. i havent worked since sep 1st when i had surgery. last time i felt like myself was August....that was before all these drugs and while i had terrible anxiety but the anxiety was nothing like with the drugs...they bought on serious depression too....
  7. Hello, I have had OCD and GAD since childhood and panic disorder since I was 30 years old. I am 48, and this summer completed a taper from Luvox. I plan to taper off other meds under doctor supervision but am currently considering when to schedule tapers since teaching and tapering may not mix. The Luvox taper was diifcult indeed but was not the beast it might have been had I moved too quickly. I have experienced a long road of meds, cessation of meds, and new meds followed by the old meds, and I have been in periodic therapy for many years. I am currently working with self-guided CBT and mindfulness. Several of the OCD symptoms have intensified, so I am willing to do the work. I am literally terrified of stoping the Xanax; my panic attacks were debilitating and drove me to telecommute for years. However, I want to leave anything close to a benzo behind me. Thank you all for sharing your experiences and for this forum.
  8. Hello, I am Sean. Long time depression and anxiety sufferer. 36y/o, male. Have been on various meds since being a young teenager. Have taken most types of psychiatric drugs at some point. Recently been dealing with hard depression and possibly BP2 diagnosis (if that matters), and am currently on lamictal, Wellbutrin, Gabapentin and Abilify. Sadly I stopped Abilify and Gabapentin improperly a month ago, and now am worried I am going through serious withdrawals and don’t know what to do. I have been on the Lamictal for about 6 years, and 1mg of clonazepam for sleep (or bad anxiety) for maybe 7-8 years. Recently, I had been taking 5mg Abilify since last summer (mid 2017) as an adjunct to treat depression and some psychosis, and also was given gabapentin for anxiety at the same time. I took the Abilify 5mg for a while, then would stop and start as I felt it wasn't doing anything to help, but eventually took is steadily throughout the last few months of the year. I would also take the gabapentin usually in the afternoons for anxiety attack flare ups. The gabapentin was prescribed as taking 1-3 300mg capsules 3x a day (for a potential max of 2700). I usually would only take 900mg a day, and that seemed to help me feel better. For the new year, I wanted to stop the Abilify and Gabapentin, and I had been tapering down the Abilify from 5mg a day to 2.5mg, but then forgot to take it with me on my christmas trip (December 22-28) and had to just stop. I also tried to minimize the gabapentin use and don't quite remember how much I took it over the christmas break, probably semi regularly. I came home from christmas on the 28th (2017) and wanted to be off so many meds as they weren't helping the original intent. I was still on the Wellbutrin, but also had these thoughts of stopping/tapering that down too. Well as of today it's been about 4 weeks without the Abilify, and maybe close to 4 weeks without gabapentin, and I am feeling very strange. Upon returning home, I have developed early morning awakening at around 4am every day (even when taking the 1mg clonazepam for sleep) and have extreme fatigue, obviously, through the day. But as I read more about the Abilify (and then gabapentin) withdrawals, I realized that I might have screwed up bigtime in thinking I could stop them. The gabapentin I was never told had to be tapered down, I thought it was an "As needed" for anxiety med, and I had been taking only 1/3rd of what was prescribed (900mg daily instead of 2700mg). So I've been nearly a month off that. At the same time, in my goal to reduce my drug cocktail, I also thought I could take the Abilify down to 2.5mg for a few weeks, then just cut that down to zero. That's been about a month now as well. But, now that I've read all through these forums, I realize that I may have screwed up real bad. It has definitely been a rough month of emotions and symptoms, but I attributed it mostly to some emotional strain over the holidays and a general continuation of my original depression/anxiety. But now I am wondering if I have thrown myself into a total loop by cutting off those two drugs so improperly, without doctor's supervision or advice. I thought I would be ok. So right now, my quandary is: it's been a month, do I restart the drugs and try tapering over again, or do I just realize that I made a big mistake and push through it now instead of starting back over? This is what I'm afraid of, I feel stuck! And I am not sure how much my pdoc knows or is informed on these withdrawal syndromes. Plus it's really hard to get an appointment with her. I just had one this week and I didn't explain myself well (and hadn't read these forums) so I wasn't aware of the 10% rule and the other possible effects of stopping. I could use some advice or insights. I realize if I'd read these forums before, I wouldn't have stopped like this. But now that I'm a month in, I don't know if it's better to try and start back up, and then taper down, or just figure I need to live through it. I am happy to answer more questions here or in other threads. Please help, thank you!
  9. Hey everyone! My name is Cat and I've been taking antidepressants since I was 13. I'm now 19 and I've been on more medications than I can remember, as I say in my signature. I'm currently coming off of abilify , but taking viibryd and lamictal to keep my depression /anxiety combo at bay. I'm also taking ritalin for ADHD. I really hated the side effects of the abilify - at a higher dose (15 mg) it was making me extremely fatigued, and it's made me hungry all the time at pretty much all doses, leading to significant weight gain (Over the course of taking, if I'm remembering correctly, I've gone from 150ish to about 190). I kind of quit it cold turkey do to some pharamacy mix ups and for the first few days I didn't feel any adverse effects so I asked my psychiatrist how she'd feel about me coming off of it. Her response was that she agreed that I could continue off my dose of 7.5 mg and then we'd see how I felt when it was totally out of my system. Now, however, I'm feeling like my brain is fried and foggy. Concentrating and motivating myself are becoming hard, I'm worried that I came off the drug too quickly and, as I'm in college, I'm really worried about the effects this might have on my ability to learn, do homework, and get good grades. I don't really know how to approach this site, so I guess I'll just go exploring and see what I can find! On another note, I definitely want to look at my medication history now. It's probably huge and I think it'd be interesting to share it with you all.
  10. Hi..I'm new to this site and am hoping for some insight into what I have been experiencing. I was on Prozac for 15 or so years and tapered off (following Dr orders) over the course of a month. After 2-5 days after starting tapering I started having diarrhea daily which has now persisted for 7 months. Been to the GI docs and they did not find anything. Have also lost 30 pounds. Tired a lot and haven't been sleeping the best are really my only other symptoms. All my blood work has come back normal. Emotionally I feel pretty good. I don't want to go back on Prozac just to make the diarrhea stop because emotionally I feel ok. Has anyone else experienced something like this? Thanks
  11. Ccnt80

    Kimberly''s Intro

    Dx: Bipolar, depression, anxiety, PTSD, treatment resistant insomnia, CFS, Fibro, chronic pain Current meds as of Dec. 2017: Lamictal 200mg bid Omeprazole 200 mg bid Motrin 800mg qam Iron 65mg qam Despiramine 125mg qhs Seroquel 300mg qhs Remeron 30 mg qhs Clonopin 0.5 mg up to 5 tabs a day as needed (can take up to 3 pills at one time) *** I very faithfully take my med as prescribed. Supplements when I remember to take them: magnesium, iodine, zinc, probiotic I attempted to drop Seroquel down to 250mg for a couple weeks and was VERY irritability and awful feeling, so I ended up moving it back to 300mg. I had also recently dropped the Clonopin down from 5 tablets to 4 tablets a day. I worry about being on Seroquel cause diabetes runs in my family. As of now, my HGa1C shows a decreased risk for diabetes. I am about 70 pounds over weight. I have lost 50 pounds since May 1. My main issue is massive insomnia. That is the main reason for the poly pharmacy. I've been dx bipolar since 2005 (I am 37), but on anti-depressants since 2002. Due to my lack of knowledge and horrid docs, was on up to 10 psych meds at a time prior to 2009. Two 3 year periods in my 20s only slept 10 hours a week, even tho I was medicated so heavily I could barely move. I was so exhausted and wrung out I wanted to die. I'm on the seroquel, remeron, and desipramine mainly for sleep but they also help mood. I average 4-6 hours sleep, but it takes me 12 hours to get it. I wake up every 45-60 minutes. So don't typically feel rested. If I nap during the day, my sleep at night is no worse. If I don't take clone pin during the day to nap, I get very irritable and overwhelmed filling. Sensory overload. I've been off work for 2.5 years this time around, for mood issues and pain issues.
  12. Moderator note: Link to PInballWizard's benzo thread I have been on Celexa 20 mg/day for ten years. I have hone cold turkey several times with disastrous results. I have also been on Lamotrigine 100 mg/2x daily for three years and 100 mg/day for three years before that. I take Valium as needed and have decided to stop taking it since I haven't taken it in several weeks. I have decided to stop taking these drugs. I am working with my psychiatrist and want other people's experiences with withdrawals. I know it will take time, and I am not in a hurry. Thank you in advance.
  13. Hello all. Since 2010, I've suffered manic episodes that have landed me in the hospital. They say I am bipolar. I had never stuck to any type of medication until 2015, when I decided to pursue naturopathic supplements. These seemed to work for me until January 2016 when I attempted to smoke marijuana again and it triggered another manic episode. Ive had a terrible and absolutely draining experience with medication this year, and used this site to give myself some comfort this past summer after I was really put down by haldol injections. I was given the long term haldol injection in the hospital in February and was given it again maybe a month later when I was out of the hospital. I found a user account that was very similar to my own posted by "lapd" (in bed all day, not wanting to get up to shower/eat, no longer participating in athletics, no desire to do anything at all really). I never posted my own account on the site because I read through that user's and thought I'd give it time. I did some reading about Haldol on Wikipedia and found that there is a 20 fold concentration in the brain compared to the bloodstream, so even though it has been several months since my last injection, I am still affected. I weaned off the additional lamictal tablets they had me on as well. I weaned off July 15. Even though it has been a few months, I still do not feel like how I felt before the haldol injections, but I have gotten better. Compared to my usual recovery after manic episodes and withdrawing off of medication, this is very different. Now, if I don't have to be any place that day, I don't get out of bed. I will sit on my phone, watching videos or looking at Instagram memes the entire day. I also don't shower if I don't have to. I will avoid the gym on my own, and only show up to my boxing classes twice a week (if I don't skip), and this wasn't characteristic of me as I was in the gym six days per week to train for amateur boxing matches. I've lost my desire to compete. I've lost my ambition toward my career building as well. This loss of ambition was never present until the haldol injections, and I really really hope it's not going to be permanent. Life just isn't as exciting when I'm not feeling as determined. I also suspect the lamictal is still affecting me as well because I am having a dream every single night. This didn't happen until I started taking lamictal. The dreams are becoming less vivid and more faded as time goes on. I just really hope to get back to form, and by posting this I hope someone sees it that might have an idea of how to restore myself.
  14. I weaned myself slowly from Lamictal about 3 months ago. Since that time I have experienced ever- increasing & debilitating fatigue. I have malabsorption problems & iron-decifiency anemia. My ferritin was low again so I had 2 iron infusions in November. Usually, I perk right up, but not this time. The fatigue has been so overwhelming that I thought it must be something else. My labs are pretty normal except for a low white cell count. I really believe my physical decline must the Lamictal withdrawal. I had no idea it would last this long. Has anyone had this sxperience? How long did it take for some return to normalcy?
  15. Hello, I have been on and off of psychiatric medication for a variety of conditions for almost 10 years. My doctors have tried almost everything, first to ease depression, then crippling anxiety, then delusions/psychotic episodes. I have tried almost every drug under the sun, but usually didn't stick with them for very long. There were 2 combinations that I stuck with for a while, though. In college: Klonopin (as needed for anxiety) Prozac Abilify This worked well until I moved home from college and saw a new psychiatrist. He put me on about 7 different medications, which I can't remember all of them. I was admitted into a mental hospital and put on Risperdal to try. I took it because it started to relieve my symptoms, and I didn't know what else to do. After coming off of 4 of the 7 medicines (one being Lithium that I stopped cold turkey), I was left with 3 that I have taken for the last 5 years: Risperdal Lamictal Klonopin (daily) Recently, my doctor decided to take me off Risperdal, as I was having a variety of issues that may or may not have been related to the drug. I tapered the drug (but from what I read on here it was rather fast) from 1 mg to 0 mg in 2 weeks. At first I felt great, actually. I was super calm. The only thing I really felt was "vulnerable", like I could break at any second. And I had 0 tolerance to alcohol. Couldn't even drink a sip. Now, almost a month later (last 1/4 of Risperdal was taken on August 6th), I feel worse than ever. I am struggling with dissociative symptoms, and anxiety so high that I didn't think it was possible to be this anxious. It wakes me up in the night with sweats, and I was up in the morning frozen to the bed with anxiety. I feel like I can't move my body the anxiety is so bad. Immediately pre-ceeding this was a whirlwind of emotions, ranging from extreme anger to happiness, to just acting "not myself". Ever since I stopped though I should mention that the fatigue has been unreal/unbearable. The first two weeks I couldn't make it through the day without a nap. Now I'm just super exhausted all the time. I am looking for some support. Will this ever get better? I just got married and I feel so saddened that I'm not a "normal" person that can get up and do life. I feel like every day I never know what to expect or anticipate. It seems like when one symptoms disappears, another comes. Has permanent damage been done? Is there hope?
  16. Hi everyone. Thanks for reading this! This is my first post but I've read a lot. I'm in the south. 28 year old male. around 3 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder and started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist at the same office. I have a great relationship with both and I really trust them 100% with my care. I currently take 300 Wellbutrin, lamictal, buspar, abilify and cogentin Wellbutrin has been awesome over the years and so has buspar and lamictal. I was not diagnosed bipolar but they are using it as a mood stabilizer and it works well However over the years I've had some pretty bad circumstances and been on and off abilify. It works I guess in the way it can stop my obsessing andrew my mind slow down etc. I had been on about 10mg a year ago or so and then I stopped when I started lamictal. I had a bad turn around October last year and the cycle started again. Right now I'm on 5mg split between morning and night. 2.5mg. Oh and add the cogentin for good measure I have started to be quite foggy and started having some short term memory issues I think. The only thing we have changed in the last while was adding the cogentin and abilify back. I'm so worried my memory will not come back. I also need to talk to my pdoc this week as I want to start tapering off it. Thanks for reading! My mood was up and down and we started
  17. HeatherRose

    Heather Rose: Hello

    Hi. My friend referred me here. She is concerned about all my medications and bad side effects I have been having for a long time such as forgetfulness, trouble concentrating, shaking and dependency. I am on many medicines and have been taking various meds for almost 26 years to control my mood disorder. I have had times of shaking problems. I also have trouble staying focused and concentrating. I used to be a big reader but now it is hard for me to read a whole book. My attention just drifts. I am dependent on them for sleep especially. I wanted to see what this was all about so perhaps can come down off of them without serious consequences.
  18. Sorry this is complicated, but this is a general overview of my history with antidepressants. Overall the main problem I've dealt with most of my life is trouble sleeping. One part of it is that I can have a lot of difficultly quieting down my thoughts. Another current aspect is that my friends/roommates stay up all hours of the night, and I've been getting influenced by this way too much. Over the past number of years I feel that I gotten too dependent on doxylamine/diphenhydramine for sleep, and it can be limited in how much it helps due to how fast the tolerance builds up. My overall reactions to antidepressants suggest that I have some form of bipolar. I did try a number of antidepressants around 1997-2000, and I tolerated them just fine, although I'm not sure if they really helped. The next time I tried an antidepressant was 2008, which was 20mg of cymbalta. This made me completely wired with racing thoughts, and unable to sleep for 3 days. In 2012 I was given temazepam for sleep (30mg), and I was told that it would be fine to take continuously. After about a month I started feeling strong tingling sensations through my whole body, and I this hunger that would not stop no matter how much I ate. I told my doctor and he said to just stop taking it. Once I did, my brain just went haywire. I started getting rapidly alternating bouts of severe anxiety followed by calmness. This turned me into complete emotional wreck over the next month. I went to my doctor and he said me that withdrawal is not a problem with temazepam, so he sent me to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist told me the same thing about temazepam, he thought something else was going on. I was given 7.5mg of remeron, and this solved everything after the first pill. It was able to put me to sleep quite well for the first two weeks, but then the sedation wore off. He upped the dose gradually to 22.5mg over a course of a month, and it eventually shifted to feeling like some sort of crazy stimulant. He had me stop it immediately, and afterwards I didn't sleep for 3 days while not feeling at all tired, and my mood was quite good. This is something I'd never felt before. If took me about 5 months to settle out and start feeling normal again. I found that during this time I was immune to all the sleep medications that had worked before. Also, if I had anything that had any amount of caffeine, it felt maybe 10 times as powerful as it should. In the beginning of 2015 some majorly stressful events happened to me, and a different physician sent me to another psychiatrist because I just couldn't sleep with all the stress. I've always found that long periods of sleep loss can send me into an emotional meltdown, and once I start sleeping again my mood resolves itself. I was given 50mg of amitriptyline, and it worked great for sleep for 2 weeks, but then the the sedation wore off. They were quite surprised that I was no longer getting any sedation, but they wanted me to keep taking it anyway. I had the same issues with caffiene feeling dramatically more powerful at any amount. I've been strictly avoiding it ever since. I stayed on the amitriptyline for about 3 months, until I started feel this building anxiety with this anger and frustration towards the end of the day. When I would take the amitriptyline, this feeling would disappear. This was another new thing that I hadn't experienced before. I went off of it and then this feeling was gone within 3 days. This past winter was particularly bleak. I had next to no social contact and I got severely depressed. My sleep became very restless where I would get maybe 1 hour of sleep a night for 4 days. I started getting the same bouts of anger that I got from the amitriptyline. I might be able to sleep well for a few days and start to feel normal, but then I would crash hard. This was extremely alarming, because once again I had never experienced anything like this before. I went back to the psychiatrist and I was put on lamotrigine and paxil. I started with 25mg of lamotrigine and that was upped to 50mg. For paxil I started at 5mg which was brought up to 15mg. I was able to start sleeping again around the 5-10mg dose. Once I got to the 15 dose, I started getting a lot of muscle twitching. With in a day or two, my whole body was shaking uncontrollably. This unbelievable amount of anxiety came out, and I was having a complete emotional breakdown. I could sleep for maybe a hour after a few days when my body would sort of drop from complete exhaustion. Another thing that happened is my pupils got really dilated, colors got incredibly bright, and I started getting hallucinations: where things would moving around and I was seeing faint, shimmering geometric patterns in objects. This was an utterly horrifying experience. I was given a bottle of temazepam (15mg) to help deal with this, and I think this is the only way I managed to survive this. The psychiatrist was only available through email and she told me to just keep taking the paxil. Once I got them on the phone, I got the shout down treatment. They called BS on this being any form of bipolar, and they told me to get to work to take my mind off things and that I was sitting around worrying myself to death, however I did finally manage to convince them that antidepressants were not for me, and they had me stop taking the paxil. I eventually got in contact with my work and explained the situation, and I decided to leave the hospital completely and switch health insurance. I visited a new physician that looks to be a very good one, and I discussed the temazepam with him, which I had been taking for about 3 weeks. The only reason I had continued to take it that long is because I was afraid of the withdrawal. The physician told me that some people can take it for a very long time and not have any withdrawal, while a smaller group of people can have quite a lot of trouble after only two weeks. Temazepam, is proving to be very difficult to get off. I've been trying for the last couple of months to balance getting rested, getting my life and work back together, figuring out of the new medical system, while trying to taper off the temazepam. For a good long while I felt that I was totally back to normal. I found that anytime I lowered the dose, the anxiety and sleeplessness would come back. I did have 3 days when I was out of temezapam and I couldn't get anymore due to an insurance/pharmacy mix up. I ended up getting powerful tingling sensation all through my body, along with sensation of things crawling across my skin. Visually, I was seeing exaggerated after images. Sleep was not happening. This stopped once I was got more temazepam. So, I'm about two and a half months into temazepam. The tingling sensations and anxiety are continuously getting worse as I take it. I went back to physician, and he sent me to a new psychiatrist, though he said with the new medical system he's on, he doesn't know the people he's referring the patients to, and he doesn't know if they're any good. The new psychiatrist dismissed that the tempazepam could be a problem. They interpreted the issues I had when I couldn't get tempazepam as a bipolar episode, and I'm having trouble buying into that. They want me to up the dose of lamotrigine (bringing it eventually to around 300mg), which I'm on 50mg of and to keep taking the tempazepam. I do agree with the bipolar stuff to a point. Any description I've read of full mania is not something I can relate to in any way. Hypomania only really fits how I felt after I stopped taking remeron, but I can't say ever felt like that otherwise. Some things fit, like the difficulty with turning thoughts off, and taking on too many projects. Atypical depression best fits the type of depression I get. The elevated mood and euphoria is not something I can relate to. But things get tricky when they say patients have a poor ability to recognize these things. So, this is the point I'm at, and I'm not sure what move to make next. (There are probably a lot of errors. Sorry, writing is not my strong point.)
  19. I've been tapering off of Lamictal for about 5 months now, and won't be done until September 22nd. I'm tapering 25 mg every 2 weeks. I've experienced some withdrawal symptoms with other meds, Effexor being the worst, but coming off of Lamictal is one of the worst things that I've ever experienced. I've put in the time and effort to have bettered myself in order to be stable enough to get off of these medications, but the mental and emotional symptoms are intense. The endless physical side effects just make the emotional parts worse. I have a good support system, but I'm finding myself still wanting to talk to others who have experienced similar situations. I put together a list today of my withdrawal symptoms currently. I'm basically housebound right now, and it is beyond hard. My Current Withdrawal Symptoms: Physical Withdrawal Symptoms 1. Nausea/Vomiting 2. Diarrhea/Constipation 3. Migraines 4. Vision Changes 5. Body Pain/Foot Pain/Muscle Pain/Neck and Shoulder Pain/Stiffness 6. Tooth Pain 7. Bone Pain/Joint Pain/Cracking/Rubbing 8. Gagging/Vomiting from smells, tastes, textures, etc. 9. Easily out of breath/hard to breathe/chest pain 10. Overall weak/low endurance 11. Cold Sweats/Hot Sweats/Hot Flashes/Temperature regulation problems 12. Crawling in my skin/body is uncomfortable 13. Cold symptoms – runny/stuffy nose, sore throat 14. Extreme Fatigue 15. Off-balance/fall/run into things/hurt self often/dizzy 16. Malaise 17. Restless limbs/body 18. Metallic taste in mouth 19. “Brain Zaps” 20. Chest pain/tightness 21. Sensitive skin/Bruise and Bleed easily 22. Sporadic Appetite Emotional/Mental Withdrawal Symptoms 1. Anxiety 2. Unease/Nervous/Paranoid 3. Moody 4. Irritable 5. Anger 6. Rage 7. Depression 8. Crying 9. Emotional Lability 10. Jittery 11. Memory Loss 12. Concentration Issues/Can’t think straight or function 13. Confused/Disoriented 14. Easily scared/gasp from fear 15. Strange/vivid/intense dreams/nightmares Has anybody experienced anything similar to these symptoms?
  20. Hello. My name is Dixie and I have been on Effexor for 9 years. I am currently on 150 mg a day (75 twice a day). The last nine years save the 9 months I was pregnant I have been in a fog. I just recently through much research, talking to ignorant psychs and some smart psychs have realized that this is the reason for my increased depression and total personality change. I have tried to go off the effexor with the worst experience of my life. And I have been through alot including spinal fusion surgery and opiate withdrawal. No pain, no experience has ever been this bad. I am determined to start my life anew and get off this horrible drug. I realize I will have a harder time than others getting past this medication because I had a gastric bypass 7 years ago and the way my body absorbs meds is crazy. I have to increase my dosages and it is a tedious balance at times. So this will be trial and error and I am terrified. What scares me more is that most doctors are just as baffled as me. And that is amazing. They should be aware of these issues with this drug. The other thing that has baffled most doctors is that while I was pregnant I was off the effexor for 9 months. With no side effects from the cold turkey method. Nothing. Some have hinted that it may be from the chemicals that change in your body and brain while pregnant. I was a different person while pregnant with my daughter. I had different more positive thoughts...I was not depressed. i was active and motivated. A few days after the baby was born I was a mess again and went back on the effexor. If anyone has any advice or similar experiences please share them with me. I was originally hoping to find a drug that would help with my depressive disorder that I was diagnosed with at 17 that would not make me feel like a zombie but have no good recommendations yet. I have heard wellbutrin and celexa might work. But who knows.
  21. Hi Everyone, I am new to the site as a member, but have read quite a bit so far! I am based in Texas, have been around the block a few times with meds. Currently taking lamictal and Wellbutrin and from what I can gather going through a withdrawal from Abilify. Thanks for reading!
  22. Hello and thank you in advance for any help and support you can give me. I'm struggling, but I'll try to make it brief. I am 44 yrs old.I was diagnosed Bipolar II in June 2015 after an extremely stressful few years that led to a breakdown. It's been almost two years and I have tried 9 different drugs in various cocktails. (Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin, Klonopin, one that starts with an A that I can't remember, and another that I can't remember at all.) I told my pdoc from the outset that I am very, very sensitive to all medications. Most of the medications didn't work due to awful side effects or the medication just not metabolizing like it does in people that it helps. So, in a nutshell, there has been no improvement in the two years since I started meds. I feel...different, but in no way better. For over a year now, I have been suffering with this horrible, horrible, horrible feeling where everyday, on and off all day, I will get a wave of high anxiety that lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes, and that is followed by a very brief wave of almost euphoria that lasts about 15 seconds and then I feel just "normal" anxiety/depression until the next wave. This is a terrifying and exhausting way to live and it seems to be cyclical which makes me think it's the medication. I have an extremely difficult time waking up in the morning (Seroquel) and can't even get out of bed no matter hard I try before 10a.m. I'm groggy and not even functional for a good hour or two. Around 1 in the afternoon, the first waves begin to hit. They are more mild at that time. Then it peaks around 6-8p.m. and then is more mild again until I go to bed. My symptoms are also affected by my menstrual cycle. A few days before my period I am usually hypomanic and the week after my period is a nightmare of depression/anxiety and derealization. (The derealization is the WORST.) In March 2017, I started a low carbohydrate diet to feel physically healthier. I think this is relevant because holistic therapy often supports a low carbohydrate, whole foods approach. My pdoc doesn't think it has any effect, but I feel physically healthier, so I want to stick with it. As you can see in my signature, I know that I am tapering too quickly. I know it's counterproductive, but I am just SO SO desperate to make the daily waves stop. It is exhausting and terrifying and I just can't take it anymore. I feel like these meds are poison in my veins. I am less functional now than I ever was. I have tapered off the Gabapentin and lowered the Lamictal on May 10th. I have felt no different. Not better. Not worse. Last evening, I decreased the Seroquel from 300 to 275 and today I feel pretty awful. Anxious, racing thoughts, and derealization (not altogether here). I have used the Klonopin on and off over the last two years, taking it I'd say an average of a few times a months .5 - 1mg/day. Usually preventative for things I know will cause anxiety or if I'm having a difficult time falling asleep. I'm just not sure where to go from here. The Seroquel is going to be the hardest, I know. When my pdoc prescribed it, I had horrible side effects within 1 week, she stopped it, and I went off the rails, so she put me back on it at a lower dose and upped it slowly. But the more I research, the more I feel like it's the meds causing most of my problems. I tried to keep this organized. If you got this far, thank you for sticking with me. I just need someone to shake me and talk some sense into me. Lol.
  23. It's been really helpful to hear about others' experiences with tapering off Lamictal. I've done it in the past but was just guessing at the time as to what to do. If I remember right, I decreased by 25mg every few weeks. My experience with tapering off was that I felt nauseous, my eyes hurt in a weird way (kind of like a burning but way in the back of my eyes), my neck and shoulders felt very tight, and I felt like I was getting hives up my neck and into my hair on the back of my head. I didn't actually have hives,it just felt that way, hot and itchy. If I ever forget to take my medication for a few days, which is rare but can happen if I get out of my morning routine for a few days, I always end up remembering by day 3 because I have all of the above symptoms by then. The hives sensation is the one that always makes me think, "Ooooohhhh, that's why I felt like poo!" I take the medication again and all is fine by the next day. Thanks again for all your insights, hopefully they'll help this attempt at tapering go a bit less painfully!
  24. Hey all! My name is Cat (she/he pronouns) and I'm 20 years old. I've been on medication for depression and anxiety since I was 13 (7 years, what the heck). I've tried a wide range of medications since then, but I only put about the last year in my signature, There's been a lot less switching around in those years, which I'm grateful for! Recently, my psychiatrist was going to switch me to latuda from abilify. He told me to quit taking my 5 mg dose for a week, then start the new drug. That week (last week) was absolutely hellish. I had tried to come off of abilify before due to the large amount of weight gain it's caused me, but with bad results. I didn't ask my doctor about tapering this time, though - I figured he knew what he was doing and didn't really self-advocate. Horrible depressive symptoms, brain fry, fatigue, and confusion followed me stopping abilify, and they persisted even after my psychiatrist told me to go back on 2.5 mg. Yesterday he told me to start taking 5 again, and I've been feeling a little better (less like I want to die). This entire process has solidified some doubts about medication I'd been having. I'm a psychology undergraduate student in college and the more I learn about medication, the more I realize how guess-and-check the process is and how the studies don't tend to measure real-world results. I'm thinking about trying to come off some of my medications because even though they are "working" in the sense that I'm not suicidal, having panic attacks daily, and I can function fairly well, it's been so long since I haven't been a cocktail that I'm not even sure how my mood would be like not on 4 different drugs... I don't like taking and depending on this many pills. So yeah, I'm going to look around the forums and see what I can do to learn and help myself make an informed decision
  25. Sunita21

    Sunita21: Anxiety!

    Hello All, First, I am FRIGHTENED!!!! I've been on SSRI's and Mood Stabilizer (Lamictal) with intermittent Benzo (however, I'm an addict~and I always end up abusing those) for 27 years. I've been diagnosed w depression, anxiety, and "soft" bipolar. This year has been sheer Hell and I've changed meds 5x. I was about to go on a 6th med~when I decided that I'd had ENOUGH! And so, I weaned for 3 weeks and then cold turkeyed for a week~at a drs. suggestion~I added back lexapro for about a week and now am off everything. I am ANXIOUS round the clock~even in my sleep. The sad thing is-my life is pretty nice!!!! And I can't enjoy a bloody moment of it. Any SUGGESTIONS are welcome! Sunita
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