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  1. Hi everyone Great to have found this website...I have been on SSRI's and more recently SNRI (mirtazapine) for past 17 years and the mirtazapine for past 5 - I have been depression free for past 5 years (previously had between 10 to 12 major breakdowns since age of 21 including whilst on the drugs..I am 38 now)...phew it's been tough but I have made it this far! I decided that, if I could go 5 years without a major depressive episode, that I would try and come off my meds as a I feel I have developed the coping skills and resilience skills to manage my mental health drug free...I reached 5 years and started in August 2019 - I managed to cut down from 30mg to 22.5 and then 22.5 to 15mg over the course of 5 months...I had a period of about one week of WD during both reductions and it was very unpleasant but I just toughed it out and it passed and I felt better again - so I made it to 15mg which I thought to be quite an achievement! With this in mind and also wanting to get off this drug as fast as possible (within reason) I decided to cut the 15mg pills and start on approx 11mg around 9 days ago (with my doctor approval who is, by the way, absolutely clueless)....I have been suffering WD since day 1 including anxiety, foggy head, insomnia, slight ringing ears and generally just feeling low and not myself - I thought that this will pass if I just tough it out again but now, 9 days in and after reading a lot of stuff online I'm not so sure...it seems that with mirtazapine (and possibly other drugs) it gets harder as the doses get lower...which is hard to believe when you see the size of the 11mg in your hand. I have now found this website and it's incredibly helpful and I'm so glad to be here and able to talk to others about this! My first and REALLY important first question to ask for advice is should I go straight back up to the 15mg where I felt ok and stabilise there before thinking about my next approach which could well be the 10% reduction advocated on here? I just want to feel better again so I can cope with stresses in my life...I would appreciate some responses ASAP as I may do this tonight! Could I possibly use a quality weighing scale and go to 13mg or will this just further confuse my nervous system more? I'm sure I'll have lots more questions in time but this will do for now Lovely to meet you all Big love and strength from Malbec37
  2. First I want to thank this community for providing such critical support to so many in need of informed guidance. I am here to seek advice for reinstating after having tapered of Lexapro WAY too fast (throwing my brain off a bridge). This was my second time on Lexapro for anxiety/depression with a starting dose of 5 mg for 5 months, increase to 10 mg for 5 months. Though Lexapro worked for me the first time (from 2008-2016 at 10 mg) , this second time around it hasn't worked nearly as well to address my anxiety and associated light insomnia. As a result, I decided to take myself off Lexapro (which I realize I should not have done without guidance.) After my taper, I felt okay for about 5 weeks. But around week 6 I started having anxiety and insomnia like I have never experienced before. I tried to ride it out but when severe depression set it, I decided I needed help. Since we had moved overseas during this time, I had to find a new psychiatrist. She put me on Paxil 10 mg, which significantly increased my anxiety and depression so much she took me off after a week. She then put me back on Lexapro 5 mg, which seemed to kick off severe insomnia - 5 nights with less than 2 hours sleep. Now she wants me to stop Lexapro and start Mirtazapine 15 mg since she says it will help with insomnia and weight loss (I am about 8 pounds underweight.). Having read through several SA threads and guides, I think it might be better if I just try and stabilize with the Lexapro. Though perhaps that window has closed and I should just switch to Mirtazapine and stabilize on that for several months before planning your advised 10% taper. I appreciate any guidance.
  3. Hello everyone. I'm CF. Been of psychiatric medication for 4 years, when I was a teen - due to depression and eating disorders. After switching many drugs, by August 2019 (discharged from last hospitalization) I was taking: 100*2mg Lamotrigine, 20*2mg Clotiapine, 25mg Promethazine, 400mg Seroquel XR, 60mg Mirtazapine. In the past: Lustal, Lorivan, Clonazepam & more I don't have documentation of. As of today, I take 100*2mg Lamictal, 400mg Seroquel XR and 45mg Mirtazapine. I am interested in lowering all of those, currently very interested in lowering Seroquel... I was never psychotic or manic. I was given Seroquel, Clotiapine and Promethazine because I was agitated and would self harm constantly. These medications did not change my situation; ECT improved my situation for a month, than went away. Therapy in last year helped a lot. -- My withdrawal history: - Prozac: 20mg (1y) -> 30mg (short) -> 60mg (1y) -> 30mg (1d) -> 0. Side effects: Unknown. Withdrawal: I had no adverse reaction at all, the day I lowered to 30mg I was given Remeron and started having tics. - Clotiapine: 10*3mg (?m) -> 20*3 (4d) -> 20*2 (6m) -> 20mg (2w) -> 0. Side effects: sleepiness (on 20*3). Withdrawal: No symptoms, more energy. - Promethazine: 25mg (6m) -> 0. Side effects: helped with allergies. Withdrawal: no symptoms, allergies still way better than before Promethazine😉 - Lamotrigine: 100mg (?) -> 100*2mg (3m) -> tampering to 0 in 2-3 weeks -> 100*mg (1.6y) Side effects: dry mouth. Withdrawal: Can not recall due to ECT treatment. I believe there were none but not 100% sure. - Mirtazapine: 45mg (1d) -> 60mg (10m) -> 45 (1m). Side effects: 60mg: tics (2h after administration, went away by next morning), sleepiness. The first day I was given Remeron I had tics and couldn't sleep, until I was given a sedative. Became better in the next week. 45mg: sleepiness. Withdrawal: Went from 60mg to 45mg in 1 day. Immediately stopped getting tics, sleep about 1.5h less than on 60mg (7.5h/night now). - Seroquel/Seroquel XR: 20mg (?) - 200mgXR + 20mg (?) -> 300mgXR (2y) -> 400mgXR (2y). Side effects: major weight gain, sleepiness. Withdrawal: not exactly withdrawal, but when I skip a night I have insomnia (2-3h sleep max), and when I skipped two doses - next day was almost normal (5-6h) with no side effects. Slightly sensitive/agitated on day 1 (lack of sleep?). I stopped taking Promethazine and Clotiapine in October-December 2019, Mirtazapine 60->45mg - since March 2020. These are the ones I can remember. I was given other medication before but I can not recall anything. -- My current situation is, my Psychiatrist refuses to let me try and reduce Seroquel XR because of COVID situation. I take XR is cutting it myself is not an option. Don't know what to do, I want to stop taking it, more time = worse withdrawal. I stopped taking 60mg Prozac with no issues (SERT, NET inhibition), Entumine (can not find mechanism of action), Promethazine (D2 and H1). I never had any issues with using brand VS generic. -- I interchangeably use: Lamictal & Lamotrigine; Clotiapine & Entumin/Etumin; Mirtazapine & Remeron.
  4. Hi everyone, I am writing to seek support during what has become a frightening experience for me. I have a history of severe depression and as I started to come out of the last one in the middle of 2018, I accepted the proposition put by al psychiatrist that I needed to be on high doses of psychiatric drugs. The two most significant were Lexapro at 45mgs and Mirtazapine at 90mgs daily. He also had me on Epilim and Propanolol to counter the impact of the benzodiazepines I was withdrawing from. The Lexapro was causing me to be uncomfortable with wind and I came off it over a couple of weeks at the end of last year without any difficulty. The Epilim and Propanolol were also removed. The massive dose of Mirtazapine remained, however. Even though it is prescribed off label for sleep, I was finding getting to sleep increasingly difficult. This is what led me to make a mistake seven weeks ago. Without consulting anyone I reduced the drug to 45mgs for three nights. This led to the onset of a nasty nauseous sensation in my body. I rang the psychiatrist and he told me that if I reinstated the dose the symptoms would go away. They didn't. So we reduced the dosage to 67.5mgs to see if that would enable me to stabilise on the drug. The symptoms continued. So we agreed to get off the drugs. Over the course of a week the drug was reduced to zero. Now after three nights the symptoms are worse and I am getting little sleep. This morning I was aching so much that I got up and tried to watch the cricket. My mistake was that I assumed as anti- depressants are not addictive and that because I had come off the Lexapro so easily that a reduction in my Mirtazapine dosage would cause me no problems. Moreover, I did come off 30mgs on another occasion with no problems. As as it looks as if reinstatement is not an option given the nature of my symptoms, I simply don't know where to turn. I fear that I am looking at an extended period of massive discomfort which could lead to a return of the depression.
  5. Hi there, I'm new to this site but need help! Have had 15 years of AD use, which include a couple of changes due to 'poop outs'. My last change was 9 weeks ago when the 15mg paroxetine that I'd been on for 7 years pooped out. Ended up under crisis team and physchiatrist switched me to 15mg Mirtazapine (straight switch from one day to the next). I had done a similar switch back in 2007 when my lexapro pooped out (tapered down over 2 weeks then switched straight over to the paroxetine). Over the last 6 weeks on Mirtazapine, the physchiatrist titrated me up to 45mg as I was in a bad state. 45mg WAY too high for me and caused akathisia, so he dropped me back to 30mg (after 3 weeks on 45mg). Akathisia better, but still lingering, so he wants to drop me down to 22.5mg. What do I do... I need this akathisia to stop ASAP, so a drawn out taper seems like far too long to wait! But I'm sure my body is in crisis from the med switch and titrating up then quick drop back down. Also used benzos over 4 weeks during switch, and titrated off them. Am I better to put up with the akathisia and do a slow taper? He thinks that drop percentage is fine (25%), but after reading this site combined with the weird experiences I'm having I'm too scared (so I'll need to enlist the help of a chemical compounding pharmacy) . Am I better to do that drop (25%) to stop the akathisia quickly, or just let my body settle down? Do 10% in another 2 weeks time (so that will be 4 weeks after my drop from 45mg to 30mg). I don't know what to do... I have been under the care of the crisis team and been going along with the plan, but can't help but feel these side effects are worse than having no treatment! I'm only 43 with a beautiful husband and son, but I'm scared that I've screwed my poor body up for life. I need advice, and stories of hope (and of easy withdrawls, not just horror stories, to give me hope). P. S Could my akathisia actually be paroxetine withdrawls even though I went straight onto another med?
  6. I have been taking Trazadone since January 2014. I started with .75 Traz and have been slowly tapering the past six months. I am now down to .38 Traz after making a cut 2 nights ago from .45 Traz.. I take it at night to sleep along with 7.5 Remeron. I have been doing well with sleeping on the .45 which I have been holding the past 2 months. Last night my sleep was very light and fitful after the cut. I doubt I got that much sleep. Also, this October I will be on year off Ambien 10 mg. I am looking for some encouragement from folks who have been down this road before with Trazadone. Any success stories out there? How did you feel along the way with tapering? How was your sleep? How did you feel one week off Traz, three weeks off, a month off?
  7. MOD NOTE: This is Gemma92's topic. Before Gemma joined SA her sister icerose posted requesting assistance. I've merged the two topics so that all of Gemma's history is in one place. _________________________________ Hello. I am new here, and I’m posting on behalf of my 26 year old sister who has been in a psychiatric unit for a week. My sister has a history of mild depression and functionable anxiety. She had occasional bouts of anger, periods of intense fatigue, and nightly hallucinations usually during sleep paralysis. She started having occasional panic attacks a few years ago. (The only psychiatric medication she had been on prior was Prozac during her childhood.) Despite her struggles , she was generally happy and enjoyed life. In August 2017, she had her right thyroid removed due to the growth of a large, benign nodule. Her anxiety slowly seemed to increase over the months and she experienced a panic attack after taking Benadryl (something that never happened before when taking Benadryl.) To help combat her anxiety, she started taking 10 mg of Lexapro in May 2018. Not knowing the danger of taking it intermittently, she took it whenever she remembered. Her doctor increased her dose to 20 mg which she took daily for 2 weeks. In early July, she developed strep symptoms, but tested negative for strep throat. Her doctor diagnosed her with laryngitis. Her throat hurt so bad, that she cold turkeyed off Lexapro because it hurt to swallow the pills. She continued to show symptoms of strep throat and was finally diagnosed on July 4, 2018. After 2 doses of Penicillin (and a couple days off Lexapro) she experienced an episode lasting a couple hours where her moods alternated between intense fear (needing to hold Mom’s hand, impending doom, confusion, depersonalization, terror from Hell) and fits of giddiness (giggling, silly talk). She hallucinated once during this episode (shadow in kitchen.) She stopped taking the Penicillin because she thought it caused the episode. Her doctor told her the strep would probably go away on its own. A week later, she noticed swollen lymph nodes on her neck (near collar bone.) She started another antibiotic which she finished. She started noticing increasing anxiety in the morning that would subside at night. She took Effexor for 5 days, but cold turkeyed because she thought it was worsening her anxiety. She lost her appetite around this time and had to quit her job. At the end of August 2018, she admitted herself into a psychiatric unit for 5 days. On one of the days, she had a fever and sore throat. It was not addressed. They put her back on Lexapro at 5 mg which she took daily for 1 month. During this time, she also took 0.5 mg of Lorazepam as needed. (10 pills over the course of a month) She cold turkeyed again off the Lexapro and Lorazepam because of bad heartburn and no help with anxiety. After this, she developed physical symptoms such as bad night vision, light sensitivity, ear ringing (stopped as of now), cold sweats (stopped as of now), bone chilling cold, dizziness, nausea, poor appetite, extreme weakness, chest pain (went to ER twice because she thought it was a heart attack), and mucus in her stool which was ongoing since before Lexapro. Her mental symptoms increased as well. Her anxiety became “anxiety from Hell” that resided in the pit of her stomach. She experienced impending doom (worse upon waking up), crushing depression, hopelessness, and inconsolable crying spells where she appeared to be very agitated. She obsessed over her health and started doing research. She self diagnosed herself with Lexapro withdrawals, adverse reactions, kindling, neurotoxicity, and brain damage. After seeing a psychiatrist on October 23, 2018, she started 15 mg of Mirtazapine. It dulled the massive anxiety, but brought out rage, verbal aggression, and threats directed at her family. She cold turkeyed the Mirtazapine after 6 days (last day was 7.5 mg). Her rage went down and her anxiety went back up. A few days later, she had a few hours a day where she felt like herself. (Was it the Mirtazapine starting to work?) A couple days before Thanksgiving, she went to the ER after a day of inconsolable crying, anxiety, and impending doom. They sent her home saying “there are too many questions marks in this case so follow up with your psychiatrist.” She had another intense crying/anxiety episode the following day where she was begging for help and immediate relief. She had stopped eating and drinking as was planning her suicide by starvation or going out to the woods to die. She went back to the ER via ambulance and was admitted into the psychiatric unit. After almost a week of refusing meds, she agreed to try 7.5 mg of Mirtazapine. It’s been 3 days since then and she is experiencing numbness in her head and discomfort on the ride side of her body. They are suggesting an antipsychotic (Zyprexa) or electroshock therapy. Since this nightmare began, she never stabilized on any medication and cold turkeyed off everything. She keeps calling me and begging me for advice. I don’t know what to do because I don’t know what’s wrong. No one has an answer. I thought maybe she had Lyme but her test came back negative. I thought maybe she had PANDAS because of the strep. Or maybe it is the fact she never stabilized on medication and kindled her brain. I came here for hope though because I’ve been lurking for a month and I know many of you have recovered from many years of psychiatric drugs and withdrawals. She wasn’t even regularly on anything for more than a month or two at a time. So we need to get her stabilized and we can begin to treat underlying issues. My question is how do we do that?
  8. I am so glad that I came across this forum! I feel like crying when reading peoples stories and their struggle with coming off the antidepressants! I was prescribed Zoloft for anxiety and Depression which I have been suffering for years! Mainly anxiety and panic disorder! I am otherwise healthy. Zoloft caused PGAD that has caused me so much anguish, I feel like I am living in a nightmare! I only took Zoloft for 3 days 25mg and this happened to me! I wanted to and still have thoughts of suicide! I felt that I was some kind of a freak and pervert! It has been 4 weeks and things have improved but not completely gone! I constantly feel burning sensation, and tingles that drive me crazy! I can deal with the burning sensations but tingles I can not stand! I got better then I took a herbal supplement for anxiety and it has come back today! I am taking fish oil supplement and I wonder if I am now sensitive to fish oil too??? Should I stop or cut back on fish oil? I just don't know what to take anymore! I never could imagine that this could happen to me as I was not aware! The doctor did not mention anything so I had no idea! I am naturally a slim person and my only worry at the time was if I was going to gain weight while on antidepressants, and my doctor reassured me "Very Unlikely". I took her word for it and I took the medication. In did not want to deal with, anxiety, depression and plus weight issues as a result of antidepressants! I told my doctor what happened to me and like many others have reported "she has never heard of it". That made me feel so humiliated and embarrassed. The point is that the doctors are not educated in regards to this issue. I recently went back to her and told her that I am still experiencing issued down below, burning sensation ever since Zoloft and she said that it is a coincidence! I am sick of doctors, they are full of ****! You tell them one thing and they turn it around! I just prey this eventually goes away and settles down! If this does not settle down I would consider removing sensitive part of my anatomy! I hate it! I can't stand it! How is everyone else coping with this? What have you found that helps? I have not felt peaceful down below for the last 4 weeks! I have never heard of this condition prior to taking antidepressants. Please help, Thank you.
  9. Hi all, I’m so grateful for websites like these. I was on Mirtazapine for over a year at 15mg/day for sleep. Can’t remember exactly how long. I’m so stupid I stopped cold turkey. I just didn’t want to be on them anymore. I did not keep record of timeline but I believe after 8-12 or more weeks of stopping all of a sudden I couldn’t sleep. However, I’ve been going through a lot of relationship issues that has caused me emotional pain and anxiety which I though it was that until I researched withdrawal. I panicked and took a dose of 7.5mg and 15mg here and there. It wasn’t working like it used to so I decided to go on 7.5mg everyday for last two weeks. Panicked and up it to 15mg for a few days. Now back to 7.5mg. I’m so scared. I can’t sleep. Some night I can’t sleep at all. In the last week I sleep for four hrs and automatically always up same time every night (4hrs of sleep). I don’t know what to do. I jus want to come off again and deal with the insomnia. No other symptoms except for what I’m feeling with my personal issues. I shouldn’t of come back on and just went with insomnia. Should I just stop it all together again since I cannot sleep anyway?
  10. Hello all, I finished my 4 month benzo taper in April 2019 after 1 year of taking it as prescribed . I had developed interdose withdrawal and tolerance to benzos and didn't know what it was at the time. After finally figuring out what was going on, I figured out how to taper. I was also floxed with Cipro while in tolerance from benzos. It was absolute hell, and I can't believe it did it. Determined to be off of all medications, I started to taper off of Prozac and Mirtazapine. I went too fast initially, and now I'm really suffering. I'm going to hold until I stabilize. I would appreciate any advice from anyone else who has been polydrugged. I know I need to go slow- 10% a month. Do I finish the Prozac taper first and then work on the Mirtz? Thanks in advance for your help!!
  11. Muddles

    Muddles: desperate

    Hi there! Need a bit of advice. My father passed away Christmas Eve :-( I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 4 years. Since my father passed I have been experiencing a lot of strange & worrying stuff which I can only explain as withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine. Depression - severe, insomnia, mind chatter, body buzzing, twitches, jerks of legs/arms, panick attack, anxiety etc. I went to see my doctor as my friends and family are concerned. She wants me to up my dose but am not sure i should do it. Could it make things worse? I feel upping may cause more problems. I felt sooo depressed this morning and slowly withdrawing from everybody...scared! Thanks in advance.
  12. Hi all. I have been on a combo of Risperdal and Zoloft since 2012. I reached 3mg risperdal and 200mg zoloft in early 2016, tried to taper off both starting in June of that year, and had a bout of insomnia in November, at which time I reinstated along with an additional 15mg remeron. Adding the remeron, I've learned, was a huge mistake and most likely unnecessary. Since then I've slept at most 6 hours instead of my usual 8. For the first 2 months on remeron I avoided caffeine and tobacco. Then, after picking up both again, my sleep suffered, and I eventually had nights with 2-3 hours. I've since learned that caffeine and tobacco induce the enzyme CYP1A2, which metabolizes remeron, explaining this. By abstaining from both, my sleep has returned. I have also tried shaving a sliver off my 15mg pill with no luck...getting a full night without sleep. I would like to be able to drink coffee and smoke again. That leaves me with 2 options, get off the remeron (seemingly impossible) or tolerate the lack of sleep. If I do the latter, will my sleep eventually not recover even when abstinent due to repeated withdrawals? I had been planning to use coffee and cigs only sporadically, letting my sleep return before using them again, or using only on the weekends. If I that is not sustainable, then how do you recommend I get off the remeron, given my sensitivity to even a small dose decrease? My doc has suggested trazodone as a replacement, but that med interacts with my other meds and a post about it here scared me away. Thank you so much for your help.
  13. Hi all, I hope it’s ok that I’m posting here. The website says to make an intro post. i started on meds in 2005 when I had anxiety attacks during a really stressful period. I didn’t know what was going on and felt like I lost my mind. It turns out I was having panic attacks from too much stress in my life. At the time, a doctor prescribed depakote. My girlfriend at the time strongly objected and I never took it. I was later prescribed celexa by another doc. I took celexa and then lexapro for the next 14 years. in 2019, I started having really bad anxiety again. My doc put me on seroquel 50 mg. Because I didn’t feel much better, I tried the following meds: Wellbutrin, cymbalta, prozac, Zoloft, then mirtazapine. All during this time, I stayed on seroquel. the mirtazapine helped a lot with the anxiety and I’m currently on 45 mg. I decided to taper off the seroquel 50 mg at the beginning of 2020. At my doctors instructions, I went down to 25 mg for 5 days, 12.5 mg for the next 5 days, then off. looking back now, the taper schedule was way too fast. I’m having a lot of withdrawal symptoms: foggy head, headaches, agitation, depression, irritability, palpitations, fatigue. once I’m fully recovered from my seroquel withdrawal, I’d like to eventually get off mirtazapine. id love to hear if anyone who has had experience getting off seroquel (I took the generic quietiapine). How long until withdrawal passed? Anything to reduce withdrawal symptoms? much love.
  14. I was incredibly ignorant and did not realise how important it was to taper off mirtazapine, and basically came off 30mg cold turkey at the start of January. I KNOW this is a huge mistake and I didn't realise it at the time and my doc didn't think anything of it either. I had no physical symptoms to speak of like a headache or dizziness or brain zaps or anything like that, so I thought I was fine. However, since coming off mirtazapine, I have had terrible anhedonia and emotional numbness, zero motivation and energy, zero appetite and significant sexual dysfunction/low libido. These were not symptoms for me during or prior to taking mirtazapine. It has almost been four months now and have seen little improvement. I am very concerned but want to stay positive. Can you please tell me if there is a way out of this for me? Thank you so much. (The one thing that helps in all of this is vitamin D3, however it seems to lose its effectiveness if I take it too many days in a row, so it's not a sustainable solution for me.)
  15. Hello everyone, This is my first post and I want to apologize for my poor English, I’m a French Canadian. I will try my best! My story started in 2007, when my GP put me on mirtazapine because I was suffering a big bout of insomnia, following a stressful year. I was a young 27 year old woman without any health issue and I was very naive at this time. I trusted my GP a lot. Big mistake! I went to see a psychologist and did some cbt. This allowed me to taper down my mirt, so after 5 months of tapering, I stopped mirtazapine. Of course, no one has told me about withdrawal syndrome, so I thought that the rebound of insomnia (from mirtazapine) was a relapse. This is where my GP decided that I had a general anxiety disorder. I was now labeled. She put me on celexa 20mg (with seroquel 25mg). 4 months later, I got pregnant, so my dear GP asked me to quit Celexa and seroquel asap. I immediately stopped seroquel and I tapered down celexa from feb 2009 and stopped it by July 2009, at 6 months of pregnancy (My GP assured me it was safe for my baby). I already had the intuition that a rapid weaning was not a good idea. I didn’t suffer any w/d symptoms at that time and finished my pregnancy in pretty good shape. Few months later, 2 months after giving birth, I had a relapse of anxiety in the form of my dear insomnia coming back. Of course, my GP wanted to put me back on AD. This is where we started to have trouble finding an AD that was working for me. Celexa wasn’t working anymore. I tried cymbalta and it wasn’t working either. I tried Paxil and it finally worked. I stayed on Paxil for four years and a half. By mid 2014, after some stressful events, I started to feel that it wasn’t working anymore. My GP asked me to quit Paxil fast then switch to mirtazapine. So I quit Paxil within 3 weeks. After the last dose, I had very hard time for the first 3 weeks. Then she put me on mirtazapine 30mg and Pristiq 50mg. I stayed on this cocktail for some years. At some point, I asked my GP if I could stop my AD, but she explained to me condescendingly that I was like a diabetic with insulin, I couldn’t live without those meds. She was destroying my self confidence. In 2018, I decided to stop Pristiq because I wanted to have only one AD to take. I taper down Pristiq , by switching to effexor, relatively slowly (but more than 10%) and stopped it by January 2019. My GP upped my dosage of mirtazapine to 45mg to compensate. This is where problems started. I didn’t feel any w/d symptoms in the beginning, but slowly, during the next months, I started to feel more and more anxiety. By May, I had a big relapse of anxiety related insomnia. I overcame my insomnia with cognitive behavioral therapy, without any meds. This gave me some confidence so I decided to wean myself of any drugs. I started a slow taper of mirtazapine . I decreased my dose by 10% each 2 weeks. In august, I reached 30mg of mirtazapine and decided to make a little break from tapering and stayed on that dose for few weeks. Unfortunately, during that break, I’ve had the biggest relapse of anxiety of ALL my life! Of course, my GP asked me to return at 45mg of mirtazapine. But it didn’t improve my mood. Since then, I’m struggling with a lot of anxiety and I’m not able to get rid of it. I’m experiencing big mood swings. Sometime I see some improvement, then the next week I fall again in a deep hole of anxiety. I don’t understand myself anymore. It’s like I’m a stranger in my own body! Worst of all, 4 weeks ago, I started to have OCD like obsessive thoughts and that’s very unusual to me, because I never had OCD before and I'm 40! I’m actually seeing a good psychologist, but even with that, I’m not able to cope. So I’m here and I really don’t know what to do. I’m very desperate because I don’t understand what’s happening to me. I have the feeling that mirtazapine is pooping out and that it causes some of my problems. Maybe I’m always on the rebound of stopping Pristiq to. Who knows! This is why I would like to stop this drug and heal myself from all this toxic stuff!! Sorry, I had a lot to say... Thank you
  16. Hi I am new to this forum and this is my first post . I am currently on 30mg mirtazapine and 200mg of pregablin , I have been on these mess for about 3 to 4 months . I have just cut my mirtazapine from 30mg to 15mg and in the space of 4 days I have have horrible side effects , anxiety through the roof , shaking , lack of appetite poor sleep crying spells and the general feeling of feeling crap . The reason I have started to withdraw from the mirtazapine is that after 3 months I feel no benefit only get awfull side effects . No help with my anxiety and depression if anything it's made me more depressed . I have gone through withdrawing from Effexor and that was really tough , however just the drop for a few days of the mirtazapine has left me crushed , my doctor told me that mirtazapine was a easy drug to withdraw from , but after 4 days it has left me house bound . Has anyone got any idea on how I get through this or any experience in mirtazapine withdrawals
  17. Hi all , I am 8 months off reinstated sertraline for a month ( by doc) and Aripropazole. History Its around 4 years back when i passed out my college and not get placed even after making to finals in many interviews .. that i decided to write competitive exam for PG. I had taken coaching but just before exam I came back and found myself unable to recall things. My brain is just like nothing in it. I found myself in despair and stopped studying. This fog is happening all the time since my engineering but I managed to get average marks sometimes and sometimes very good . There is more in back history but I ll get to it later. So, my parents took me to a psychiatrist ( family known) and he put me to Olanzapine and one more thing. He diganosed me bipolar2. I got about 10 pounds on it but its not help . Meanwhile after 4 months, with the help of a relative , I got intern in a company and I moved out with fog to a distant city. TThere in a hospital, they put me on floxetine and Amisulpride for 3 months . Then i moved to a private psychiatrist ... where it starts getting haywire . He stopped fluoxetine and Amisulpride . And put me on Venlafaxine and Seroquel... As i was interning, i get usual heat racing in between job times but my doctor convinced me to stay with it . 4 months and I just started feeling agitated due to stress. It happened that I slapped a senior on abusing me and there I left a job I never happened to get physical in my school or college .. but it happened. Doctor told me to scrap the prescription he wrote of raising Venlafaxine. And he put me paroxetine + Oxcarbazepine. In his words , it is best tolerable and has lesser side effects. I managed to get a job by my own and cracking first time. But this time there is lot of work and culture pressure. Its a startup with full of politics . Boss and his boss .. all keep on putting things. Let office aside, I started feeling some well .. overly casual ... excited .. raged .. Iits about 25 mg Paroxetine and 300/600 mg Oxcarbazepine. I had unusual violent acts .. had hit a school friend .. insomnia.. I decided to leave the paxil by asking the doctor . He said half in a week and then other half a week to off. Thats when it all started , i cannot sleep whole night and with day light i start getting a nap. I left going office with fear of state i was in . I cannot wake and even if I .. i was too tired and angry . Doctor then gave me Mirtazapine which didn't help . I resigned job telling muly boss about all and came back home. It was Nov,2015. I start getting yhese uncontrollable rage that I locked myself in a room. Parents took to a local shrink who put me on Venlafaxine+ Mirtazapine(CRF), lamotrigine, resperidal, Seroquel. The NEXT Day I woke up so fresh .. all calm like 12 yrs back .. i was smiling happy.. but it lasted only 4 hrs .. and i am doomed again . I took those meds 10 days and i decided to go off. Physical Damage. I got brain zaps as sounds with eye movement .. While on Paxil I got severe neck stiffness and movement pains - which came out as Osteophytes. Anger , heart race , memory, fog , chest pains , fatigue ... All I beared for 4 months. Reinstatement after 4 months. Father took me to another psych who put me on Sertraline+ Aripropazole+ Seroquel. I started having increases restless legs than before and the doctor asked me not to go over net. After 2 visits and when he said it wslas Aripropazole for restlessness all time.. and he is cutting it . I stopped all meds . Withdrawals in 8 months. All first symptoms with some new like utter sensitivity in teeth. It is while breathe in most of the teeth . Muscles gone from forearms .. My left hands gone ulnar neuropathy and i got surgery done when no hope lived. Right hand has stiffness too . MAnger I am living with .. I have stopped talking .. I have decided to go sit on my Shop but I was unable to understand the talk . In spite anger biuts and memory makes it difficult to adjust. I keep forgetting people faces .. important talks . So i stopped . Now I am muted all the time with burst inside . Read success stories and play CoC. This is the most I can write now.
  18. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  19. I feel low & numb & anxious & stuck in my own head & struggling with intrusive sucidal thoughts. I first started panic attacks through a couple hangovers didn't no much about them which they were scary, went to doctors to ask advice straight away given citalopram told to take once a day did so for a few weeks till I realised I didn't want to be on these and they were antidepressants, then the trouble started panic attacks everyday so went back to doc & given sertaline tried for less than a week and symptoms was to bad stopped then went back to doc & given citalopram liquid tried for couple weeks had like a high effect which wasn't good & finally given mirtazapine was on it for over a month with really bad lows and symptoms at first then started to ease but I still didn't want to be on a mind altering drugs! So I got told to just stop. Now from July 10th 2018 that's when all the issues have started been a rocky road ups & downs but I'm sat here thinking what's the next steps as I feel low and numb and sucidal thoughts all the time shall I go back to the drugs or ??? Struggling with no sleep Sucidal thoughts Anxiousness Low mood Snappyniess No interests in life
  20. Kornyboyo1917

    Kornyboyo1917: Remeron 15mg

    Hello, I was put on remeron 1.5 months ago after being hospitalized for severe benzo withdrawal. I have been off benzos for 9 months after a rapid taper. My symptoms are horrific and 24/7. - Racing thoughts/ruminations - Ear-worms (things I watch/read and conversations repeat over and over all day long) - Racing negative thoughts - Intrusive thoughts/memories - Loud inner critic/voice - Sensorimotor Hyperawareness OCD (thinking/thoughts and occasionally other themes) The remeron seemed to help with the pacing akatheisa and terror but did nothing else for my mental symptoms. I started at 7.5 for a week or so and then went up to 15mg. At 15 I got his with depression. Went up to 22.5 for a few days but couldn't handle the anxiety and fear it triggered so went down to 15mg. I don't want to be on remeron anymore because It's interfering with my benzo recovery but my mind is tormenting me on how to come off of it. I don't know much about tapering and what would be the best thing for me since I'm already in benzo withdrawal. I think its making the OCD worse (compulsive researching, chain smoking). The problem is i'm not going to know if I am having new symptoms from discontinuing the remeron or if it was masking some of the benzo withdrawal and it's coming back. Unless i develop new symptoms like DP/DR (which i don't have). I am looking for advice on a taper. I know my situation is different but any help would be appreciated. Thanks
  21. LuRu8 Hello everyone 🙂 After a very turbulent year of various medications, I have now been off Mirtazapine completely for about five/six weeks now. The withdrawals started after I was advised to finish up by taking 7.5mg every other day, and I felt terrible from the first day ‘off’ which led me to believe I could stop and power through. Off the top of my head, I was itchy, I had headaches, almost constant nausea, insomnia, very dark thoughts and fatigue with low motivation. After those initial few days, I experienced some okay ones, followed by some really bad ones again including two or three where I got absolutely no sleep at all. However, moving past those days gave me twelve really good days, where I felt like an improved version of my old self. I mistakenly thought I had made it! Through subsequent reading, I know this is standard. Another terrible few days followed where I was constantly nauseous, throwing up or dry heaving every morning, unable to relax or switch off, and feeling loads of adrenaline pretty much all day. Then another twelve good days, albeit with sleeping issues, adrenaline and nausea, plus flu-like symptoms including a sore throat (possibly from acid reflux?) and throwing up. But since Tuesday of this week, I woke up feeling really flat and disheartened, which then led to another spiral, another sleepless night, huge feelings of hopelessness and suicidal ideation, no appetite or desire to see anyone or do anything, and lots of negative ‘stories’ which I was telling myself. A lot of fear in the morning and apprehension about not getting to sleep, which obviously prevented me from sleep and became a self-fulfilling prophecy. On these days, I will tell myself I am “broken” and that I will never recover; that I have always been like this (until May last year, I had no history of mental health issues although other family members had) and that this is my life now, forever. This is where the suicidal ideation comes in, as it feels unbearable and like I’ve ruined my life and taken my wife’s husband away from her, and my children’s father away from them (as I don’t feel same as how I used to, when it was all effortless just to be a satisfied me). However, last night I managed seven hours of sleep with no Zopiclone (I forgot to put it in my signature - I have 3.5mg tablets and take a maximum of three per week, although I haven’t needed them all on any week so far) nor Magnolia Bark (more natural sedative, allegedly). I also have magnesium bisglycinate and CBD oil although I haven’t been using these much recently. Anyway, today feels a little easier than yesterday, although it is still very early. To give a bit more background, I came off the Mirtazapine because I didn’t like certain side effects, and was never keen on medication anyway; I took the first one out of desperation and - what must be a familiar story on here - a startling lack of information provided by my GP. I have a wife and two children (both under five years old) and I am a counsellor working in private practise, but only for a few hours a week at the moment so as not to overwhelm myself. Also, due to lockdown, I spend most of my time in my house with my family. Thank you for reading. I’d be interested to hear how this all compares to others, although I know that everyone is different. I read a lot and I’m currently on Claire Weekes’ books. I also have a therapist who I’ve been seeing since November.
  22. Hi, Just curious if anyone can provide some help. I've had a rough 2015. I was in the ER with a couple of incidents of low sodium. As some of you might know, Lexapro and other SSRIs contribute to that. I've been on Lexapro for 15 years. I also had a night time drinking problem. My Dr told me to quit Lexapro in June which I did cold turkey. They didn't tell me otherwise. I had dizziness for a month but that's it. I tried it back up on my own in September but quit after a week cause of the symptoms. Then with my Dr's help I quit booze. Forgetting about the issues with low sodium he strongly urged me to go back on it cause I would be stressed from quitting booze. I did and gave it up 12/3/15 cause of the side effects again. I had some withdrawal from being on it for only a week. Anyways, due to incredible anxiety and insomnia for a week straight I went back to Lexapro on 1/1/16. Part of the stress is due to a new job opportunity to start in January if I want it. High stress gig. I was given meds to help with the low sodium issues. My long winded question is this? Was the stress due to withdrawal or a relapse of stress? I don't know which is the answer I want but I'm scared cause I'm not myself and have been in bed for weeks. Christian
  23. Rcat Hey , new to the group. visited Mayo Clinic for my executive physical May of 2019. My Dad passed away a few months before this, and I was having trouble sleeping as I grieved . So was perscribed 15 mgs Mirtazapine May 2019. Slept great while on it but as I progressed I started to gain weight and felt disconnected, agitated..... fighting with spouse..etc. so , I started to taper Jan 2020, Breaking the pills down by about 10% each week until done in mid-March. Been off since then.... been struggling . Everything seems overwhelming. Sleep sucks. Normal stuff that I handle with no problem seem like huge problems now. Been back to Mayo Clinic (where I was prescribed the Mert), thinking im dying..... All seemed to check out ok. Been off completely now for 8 weeks. So, 9 months on 15mgs, 10 wk taper and 8 weeks off completely. Think I tapered too quick? Thanks,
  24. Hello everyone, At age 4 I developed PANDAS (unknown at the time). It was characterised by extreme OCD and comorbid Tourette Syndrome and ADHD. In my teens I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. At age 7 I recieved my diagnoses. At age 8 I was medicated with Paxil. My OCD improved dramatically. I was switched to Zoloft because of anti-cholinergic side-effects experienced with Paxil. I was maintained at 150 mg of Zoloft for several years. I developed worsening akathisia and emotional numbing. At age 15 I developed severe apathy in the absensce of depression. With the help of my mother over the next 3 years I titrated to 2/3 of a 25 mg pill. I could feel the difference between 12.5 and roughly 16 mg of sertraline, and I could not go lower than 16 mg without side-effects. Due to my lower dosage, some emotional range was restored and I fell in love and started what would become a 3-year long-term relationship. At some point I figured I could do without sertraline. I stopped it and did not notice much. Eventually a creeping relapse overtook me with intense obsessive thinking. I started back up on fluoxetine. It caused bruxism and akathisia. I switched to sertraline after realizing this. It caused me to become hugely dysphoric (with superimposed hypomanic features). I got into a fight and broke several bones in my face. I was sent to a psychiatric ward. I found a study that found that fluoxetine caused an increase in diazepam concentrations by as much as 50%. I decided that I was probably undergoing acute benzodiazepine withdrawal, so I requested to be switched to Luvox, which also vastly increases diazepam concentrations. I have a long history with benzodiazepines which I will not expand upon here, except to say that my GP, who is handling my medication, is always pushing me to go faster on my taper. I got him to approve an Ashton schedule, although I think I would do better if he gave some leeway to hold at a dosage for a while so I can adjust. I stabilized within a few days of the change, and my akathisia was relieved (or masked by diazepam?). I left the ward at 100 mg of Luvox. To achieve further reduction in my OCD, Luvox was titrated up to 300 mg by my GP. This again caused emotional numbing and akathisia. I reduced my dose to 200 mg. I sat at this dose for a while, but by accident, or fate, I started missing a few doses here and there. This triggered intense emotion reactions. Life had me hooked. I had an emotional reaction to a song, and I have told myself that I am never going back into no-where land. I am going to decrease my Luvox to 100 mg, as 200 mg leaves me wishy-washy about wanting to taper. I will request my diazepam be increased to 25 mg and hold for 1 month, and then recommence taper. I have taken an SSRI for the vast majority of my life, and I have a question: Here is what I believe to be one of the enigma's of SSRIs. I know that it is true for myself. I hope to see if it is true of others. At the dose of an SSRI required to stave off withdrawal, the desire to get off of the SSRI diminishes. This can shave years of "living" off of your life. On the other hand, if you CT or cut too low too fast, the withdrawal will force you to reinstate. I have also struggled with intense DP/DR at times. It was at its height when it was 24/7 and I felt like "I", (insert my real name, let's pretend Jay) had died. That was the most excruciating time of my entire life, save brief periods of bash-your-head-in-the-wall akathisia after being given an antipsychotic at a psychiatric ward. Thank you so much to anyone who made it to the end of this post, it means a lot, Peace. EDIT: Also, sometimes when experiencing distress I wonder if it is the SSRI or the benzo, withdrawal from either of these, or just normal.
  25. Hello Everyone! My name is Tomek, I'm 33 years old and my miserable adventure with antidepressant started 9 years ago in December 2009. My entire history with antidepressants is in my Signature. Suffice to say that I had some experience with withdrawing from many meds especially from SSRI and benzodiazepines. Xanax withdrawal. In 2014 after an accident I was very much addicted to Xanax, taking it every day. During that time I had some very unpleasant incident with this med. On one Sunday I started to feel extremely bad. From very early morning to late night I had many unpleasant symptoms like: extreme sweating (all the time I looked like I've just had a shower), muscle pain, muscle stiffness, tachycardia, extremely dry mouth and problems with my eyesight. I completely stopped taking Xanax at that moment. I was in this terrible state for the next five days. The good thing is that after this incident I practically stopped taking benzos for good. During the last 4 years, I've taken them maybe once per year and even that in very small doses. The bad thing is that since then I still have problems with my eyesight, specifically, my eyes have some strange problem with focusing on objects, like my vision becomes shaky when I try to focus my eyes. To this day I'm still not 100% sure what happened to me. Was it benzo withdrawal like my psychiatrist suggested or something else, for example, serotonin syndrome (I was on Clomipramine and Mirtazapine back then). After this incident for the next 6 months, I had a terrible anxiety almost every day. Anyway, in December 2014 I started taking Paroxetine 30mg (Seroxat) again. Since September 2014 I’m also on Mirtazapine 15mg. From 2015 to 2017 I actually felt pretty well on those meds. Even problems with my eyesight weren't very bothersome, although it never completely healed after the incident with benzos. Paroxetine withdrawal. Finally, at the end of 2017, after 3 years I decided to start withdrawing from those meds. My liver tests weren't very good so that's one of the reasons but not only. My first attempts weren’t really successful as I hesitated between 30mg and 20mg. During January 2018 I went three times between those doses. One of the reasons is that my close friend died during that time. This made me feel very depressed and anxious. I don't know if this was because of changing those doses or because I was very stressed back then but I started to feel physically ill. I was nauseous, weak, I had dizziness and photophobia. After three weeks I started to feel a little better. I decided to tamper the doses very gradually. For two weeks I was reducing from 30mg to 20mg. After that, I stopped reducing and was on 20mg for 2 months. Then again reducing from 20mg to 10mg for 2 weeks. Then 3 months on 10mg and after that reducing to 0mg for 3-4 weeks. I finally stopped taking Paroxetine in August 11th 2018r. Changing the dose slowly from 30mg to 20mg wasn't that bad. However, going from 20mg to 10mg was a whole different story. I had unpleasant brain zaps and was nauseous. The worse part was actually my mental state. I was constantly irritated, even the smallest things could make me feel angry. Never in my life felt something like that. Fortunately, after 2-3 weeks, I started to feel better. Not as good as before changing the dose but I could make through the day without hitting my desk with fists. So somewhere in the middle of July, I decided to finally go for it and try to reduce my dose to 0mg. During it, my photophobia and afterimages increased. On August 11th, 2018 was the first day since more than 3 years that I finally survived the day without Paroxetine. Since then I'm depressed almost every day, especially in the mornings, a few times I had panic attacks during the night and couldn't sleep. I'm still on Mirtazapine so that helped me with sleeping. Then fun fact though is that without Paro I managed to finally go on vacation after 5 years ;-). In the past, I always felt too lazy to go somewhere. Mirtazapine withdrawal. My next plan was to withdraw from Mirtazapine. I started reducing doses from 15 mg to something like 11mg at the end of September. At the end of October, I was on 7.5 mg for almost three weeks. Unfortunately, I started feeling worse, more often had panic attacks and my eyesight went even worse. At the beginning of November, I've returned to 15mg but that didn't help me very much. My eyes still have a problem with focusing and my vision is shaky, I'm experiencing brain zaps although they're not as strong as they were before. At this point, I'm not sure if it is a good idea to withdrawing from Mirtazapine so fast when I've just stopped taking Paroxetine like 3 months ago. On the other hand, I really want to try to get off this med. I apologize for any mistakes in this text due to my poor English.
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