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  1. Not sure where on the site I should post this i’ve been on mirtazapine for 6 weeks, on 30 mg, and looking to taper off. 3 weeks ago i went down to 15, and just 2 days ago i felt some pretty bad electric shock like sensations through my body in the middle of the night and couldn’t sleep, so out of desperation i Decided to up it to 22.5 that same night. The next night was the same so i upped it to 30. now I’m not sure what to do. should I go back to 15 and ride it out now that I’ve already gone 3 weeks on it, or should I stay here on 30 and taper 10% every 4 weeks? I’m feeling weird today, not sure if it’s withdrawal, side effects, or just the lack of sleep i should mention that I’m pretty much bedbound ME/ chronic fatigue syndrome, and I’m not wanting to damage my nervous system even further I’ve managed to heal a lot in these 6 weeks that I’ve been on mirtizapine so should I maybe stay on mirtizapine until My body can handle the withdrawal? thanks
  2. Hi,could you help me please? I was on mirtazapine for 8 years. 15mg for 6,went into poop out and upped to 30 for 2. Withdrew from the 30 over 5 month.30-22.5 for month,22.5-15 for a month,15-7.5 for a month then off. No withdrawal at all. Then 2.5 year later woke up with an extremely stiff neck then anxiety came. Jumped back on 15mg hoping that would work,but felt like I was getting palpitations and had a bit of burning patches. Felt like I was gradually worsening so came off without tapering as I was only on for 3 week. Feeling gradually worse as no-one believes me and am expected to go back to work till time and look after my children and everything else. Partner thinks it's an anxiety episode,I'm so confused. Please don't tell me any bad news as I don't think I could bear it. My system is hypersensitive now.Been completely off for 1 week.
  3. Hello! I have an anxiety disorder. I took Opipramol for a few month, on average 100mg/day. Many would say that isn't much but I react very sensitive to drugs and I clearly felt the effects. I went cold turkey after a few month and 2-3 weeks later I had flu-like symptoms, hot, cold, sweating, anxiety, then started again with 50mg and it gradually went away. I then continued to take Opipramol 50mg/day for about 2 month. About 7 weeks ago I stopped taking it and replaced it with Mirtazpine. I would only take mirtazapine 7.5mg before sleep as I felt very anxious and couldnt sleep and my doctor told me it wouldnt have sideeffects. After a week of Mirtazapine I was having several sideeffects: Felt shaky inside, had joint aches, had stiff limps, gait uncertainty, inner tremor, tired all day and a lot of muscle twitches all over the body. At the same time most of the anxiety had been gone, which was strange because symtpoms really scare me and now I had tons of them. After 3 weeks of Mirtazapine (so about 4 weeks ago) I decided to go cold turkey and never touch ADs again. I've been taking 200mg 5-HTP/day (4x50mg) since and I felt its been helping a bit. I dont feel shaky inside anymore, I have no inner tremor anymore, I'm not tired during the day anymore, I had much less joint aches, my limps are sometimes still stiff but it comes and goes and its nowhere near as bad anymore, I still ahve a bit of gait uncertainty but it also got much better. What still worries me is the muscle twitching. It's not as bad anymore but it reduces very slowly. I have only taken Mirtazapine for 3 weeks and on a very small dosage but I reacted very sensitive to it and all these things appeared within a week after I started taking it, so by my logic I would say, chances these symptoms were induced by the drug are huge, right? How long can it last for my brain chemistry to normalize and these symptoms to fully go away? Is there anything I can do to help stabilzing my brain chemistry, for example with natural supplements? Thanks for any advice!
  4. Kree

    Kree:mirtazapine

    Hi.Is it always the case with an adverse reaction that you go into a protracted withdrawal? I thought i had an adverse reaction to cit 13years ago but went on mirtazapine and didn't happen.convinced myself it would. I was on mirtazapine for 8 years and successfully withdrew for a period of 2 and a half years. No withdrawal. Then had an anxiety episode out of nowhere. Jumped back on 15mg mirtazapine and started having burning and twitching strange muscle feelings. 3 month on and convinced again im going into protracted withdrawal. On amitriptyline for the past 2 weeks....just scared im gonna get worse with the protracted. The mental health team are in contact now and think im delusional i think.They say i need to be treated. Im so scared waiting for this protracted withdrawal. I have 2 kids, on my own,a house to run and a job to get back to.
  5. Kree

    Kree:mirtazapine

    2008-2009 citalopram thought I'd had an adverse reaction when i put myself back on but all settled when went on mirt. Was 100% convinced i was going to go into protracted withdrawal. 2009-2015 mirtazapine.15mg 2015..went into tollerence withdrawal upped to 30mg. 2017-reduced mirt over 5 months.No withdrawal. 2 and a half years later.Severe case of anxiety,had some speed on a night out(yes i know silly) 5 days later went back on mirtazapine,had twitching and burning,slight palps. Stuck it out for 3 weeks before cold turkeying. Over the past 3 month to this day I've been terrified of going into a protracted withdrawal. Mental health team have place me on amitriptyline 10mg...just went up to 20mg. Everyone thinks i just need an antidepressant and I've just been obsessing,bearing in mind i thought i had an adverse reactiin once before which i know is rare. I have 2 kids to look after and a job to keep,house to run. Do you think I'll be ok?
  6. savinggrace

    savinggrace

    Moderator note: link to members-only benzo thread - Savinggrace: missed dose Hello, I have been following Surviving Antidepressants, off and on, for a few years but feel I must join now, as I could use some feedback. I have been poly-drugged for 15 years and on anti-depressants for 35 years. I am not sure how much I should write about how/why all this happened, but surely in the first decades, I just let it happen because I trusted my doctors and had no idea what I was setting myself up for. Since the internet made information so much easier to get, I have spent a lot of time learning about what these drugs have done to my brain, my body and and my life. I am joining this forum for two reasons...I am a person who has to taper extremely slowly. In fact, I just read a post of a man (2012) who planned to take 12 years to taper 25 mg. valium and I thought, "well, that sounds about right for me." On other forums, I have been almost laughed at when I admit how slow I have been, and must continue to taper. The other reason I like this forum is that it addresses the poly-drugging situation that so many of us have gotten ourselves into. This poly-drugging, in my opinion, has made everything so much more difficult. I guess there is a third reason, and that is that I have followed Rhiannon on BenzoBuddies and before that on a Yahoo group for years. She seems so rational, calm, and non-judgmental about all this. I have read many posts about not tapering from a place of feeling w/d symptoms. What if I said I have been in tolerance w/d (if that term is used here) for at least 14 years? I have not felt well, and in fact, have been quite sick all that time. About 6-7 years ago I got the courage, after tons of reading to start tapering. After making a 1 mg. cut (less than 10%) of valium, and suffering a near-seizure on the 5th day (that's what my doctor told me was happening and I believe him because 1 mg. valium relieved everything), I started tapering .5 mg/ month. (my signature will explain what happened before that) I did that for a few a year or so, but "hit the wall" so to speak, and tried .25 cuts (cut and suffer method). Very long story as short as possible, I only went from 17mg. down to 13 mg. before I was not able to cut any more and remain even remotely functional. A year or so ago, I decided if I couldn't cut valium, I would try another of my drugs. I have managed to taper 25% with small cuts and holds over a year, but again feel totally dysfunctional and unable to proceed. I think, at this point, up-dosing any of my drugs would require too big of an up-dose, and likely an unsuccessful one at that. I am holding now, but the reality is, I have many co-exisitng medical conditions, some caused by these drugs I suspect, and some not, that I really can't treat w/ meds as they interact with my psych meds and de-stabilize me immediately. I suffer a lot. I have no quality of life. I am 61. I can't go back; only forward. I am currently holding my trileptal cut to give my brain a rest. There is a lot more to share about myself but this was way too long already. How long should I hold? I feel like it will take quite some time before I feel like my brain has adjusted to this 25% cut. (done in 5-10 mg. increments, holding about a month w/ each cut) Here is my signature because I am not sure where to post it: Amitriptyline for 20 years and then remeron, 4 mg currently , ambien 10-15 mg. for 5 years and then updosed klonopin to get off ambien in 2011; klonopin 2 mg. for 10 years and then crossed over to valium 17.5 mg in 2010. 300 mg. trileptal for 13 years; tapered down to 225 in the last year. Holding on everything right now.
  7. Starboy17

    Starboy17

    took 1mg finasteride for near 8years albeit, I did take breaks, additionally I lowered the dose and only took it couple times a week, this is known as a maintenance dose. However just over a year ago I decided to take a generic versions of propecia and like a shot of lightening I then noticed mood swings, moments of crying spells, it took a couple months to realise that it wasn't university studies and a personal fallout with a friend (although I bet it contributed) however it wasn't until I completely stopped taking finasteride that I experienced insomnia for the first time in my life! I kept having panic attacks after being asleep for two hours I would wake up gasping for air, I also had close to 15 panic attacks during the day, followed by general anxiety disorder, and a feeling of dread that was unlike anything I've ever experienced, that seemed unbaiting I would have to say hands down it was the worst mental breakdown of my life this lasted for at minimum of three months and progressively got worse. To complicate matters I quit dexamphetamine 30mg a year earlier as I had been naughty on it as I only took it whenever I felt like it for over 3.5 -4yrs unfortunately I have ADHD and still do as an adult, yay lucky me! I also loved alcohol, was often considered the life of the party,(not my own assessment) however I have since decided that I self medicated with it and it only compounded my already fragile mental health, so I'm no longer drinking at all. I discussed the mood swings etc with my GP in Sydney Australia and was given Lexapro tablet (can't recall the dosage) the morning I felt great, by afternoon a sense of dread crept up on me followed by suicide ideation, whilst driving with my partner down the motorway I had intrusive thoughts about crashing my car, anyone who knows me, would agree that is the polar opposite of my personality, in the end I had no choice but to go to emergency the next day after I couldn't sleep and explain my symptoms, I was given 10mg Valium which did nothing except have a paradoxical effect, I felt more lively instead of relaxed I was later discharged and given 30mg of mirtazapine, I'm a small bloke 65kg but Wow that knocked right out of the water. Since April 2016 I've been stuck on mirtazapine. Through the haze that is my mirtazapine experience I knew that the dosage was far too high for me and regularly checked in with my GP and advised him, I've never been on an antidepressant before, only dexamphetime, I told the Dr there's no way i'm taking 30mg of mirtazpine!, he agreed to and I lowered the dose to 15mg although this was still sedating throughout the day along with memory issues, which I never had experienced in my whole life, I've always been a remarkable person for memory so that was really scary for me, eventually I started my own research, why not I'm a tertiary student, thank God I found this site and Dr Joseph Glenmullens book! I even had to take a semester off study and reduced to part time. Guess that law degree can wait. I'm currently on 2.8mg of mirtazapine and can't wait to be off this, however through painful experience the withdrawals are debilitating and that's putting it kindly, I saw a Psychiatrist last month and he mentioned that I must be ultra sensitive, I'm reminding myself regularly that I'm strong and that every day i'm healing and everyday I'm getting stronger. I'm not one for mantra's but this does actually help Sorry Alto if I raved on or if I didn't put this post in the right place, I've been reading and following your advice for months, quite studiously I will add and been wanting to post my experience so badly but have been so incapacitated by all that I've experienced over the last year. So days I feel I'm holding for dear life, the tapering can be so demoralizing at times and then out of nowhere I get tiny glimpses of gaining my old sense of self again, there's so much more I want to say but for now, i'm amazed I've been able to type what I have. Peace
  8. Hello. I am wanting some advice on withdrawing from the drugs I am currently on. I am taking 60 mg cymbalta, 5 mg zyprexa and 7.5 mg mirtazapine. I would like to withdraw from all 3 at the same time. Is this possible
  9. Hi Guys. I have been on every SSRI over the past 2 years, apart from Paroxetine. This all started from some situational anxiety at work. Each time i took a medication i was on them for about 3 month without any benefit at all. I would loose time at work, cold turkey and return back to work. Each time i did this i was getting worse and worse. I would then return back to the doctor and ve started on something else. This has basically gone on for 2 years. All this time i have got worse. I have now come to understand withdrawal and the fact i could have well been prescribed numerous medications due to an illness been mistaken for withdrawal. 8 weeks ago after stopping my second attempt of Escitalopram for 3 months i decided to stop for good with a fast taper. I feel anxious, dizzy, fatigued, poor cognition and inability to focus. I know if i take a dose of SSRI that this will improve however i will return to the Zombie state of meds. I am finished with medication!!! On reflection my problems i encountered prior to any medication was far easier than the problems i have had the past 2 years on medications. I think i have been a victim of Psychiatry! I dont think i ever needed medication! My chemical imbalance was created by meds! If i had no knowledge of this i would be stuck in Psychiatry! I just want to know ppls experiences and can i still be in withdrawal at 8 weeks after 2 years of messing about with meds. Thanks Lee
  10. Hello Im new here. Thank you for taking time to read this if you are. :) I have been on Mirt for only 12 days at 15 mg. Im looking to come off due to side effects, its just not suited for me. I was going to do 11.25 for 4 days, 7.5 for 4 days, 3.75 for 4 days, then off. Is that too quickly? I thought not since I have only been on it for 12 days at 15 mg. I appreciate everyones input and advice! :)
  11. Hi Everyone, Well i am 36 years old and my journey with antidepressants started at the age of 16 (in 1999) when i started having panic attacks, i had always been a sensitive person and prone to bouts of anxiety as far back as i can remember. The list of medications went from Aropax, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Fluoxetine etc etc and i had tried numerous times basically since i first got put on them at 16 to stop them, i resented the fact that the doctor was telling me i would need them probably for the rest of my life and that i had a "chemical imbalance" which was determined through an extremely flimsy set of written questions, with no science at all backing it up! But unfortunately i was young and naive and this was back when you trusted what your doctor was telling you, so i reluctantly agreed. Every time i tried to come off this medication i would fail spectacularly and end up in severe distress at which point the doctor would use this as "proof i needed medication" when actually this was a withdrawal symptom all along which unfortunately took a lot of pain and anguish and time for me to come to understand, but i am where i am. I had been on the Fluoxetine for over a decade (can't remember exactly how long) and was tapering off in 2016 (before i knew anything about tapering), anyway i reached a point after a difficult breakup where i had a complete meltdown anxiety wise to the point where it was unbearable and the doctor put me on Mirtazapine where my weight ballooned to the biggest i'd ever been and i am only 155cm tall and since being put on antidepressants have put on close to 30kg! I used to be quite fit and active until this happened. Anyway at the end of 2017 after being on 15mg of Mirtazapine for a year as well as remaining on the reinstated 20mg of Fluoxetine i began tapering the Mirtazapine because the weight gain was making me even more miserable. The taper was going quite well and i had been tapering for 18months and was down to 0.5mg! and found out my mum needed to have some pretty serious surgery and lost my job which sent me into a spiral and unfortunately because i didn't know any better at the time i reinstated the full 15mg of mirtazapine again instead of just pushing it up 1mg or something and holding for 6 weeks (which seems to be the magic number for me). Anyway, after discussing with my doctor we decided to change the 20 mg of Fluoxetine over to 20mg of Vortioxetine after i had done a DNA test which supposedly tells you which medications may work better with your genetic makeup. So now i find myself on a new drug and also still taking the 15mg of Mirtazapine. The medication change was 10 weeks ago now and 5 days after the switch i did have some vomiting, diarrhea, headache and anxiety which passed but have had a steady stream of side effects including - intermittent Anxiety (sometimes panic), mild vertigo, some headaches, nausea, teariness and feelings of DEEP sorrow, irritability, ruminating thoughts the list goes on and on really but they all seem to pass quite quickly at this stage so i am hoping to power through and hoping that these side effects won't get any worse. Once i have had a solid period of time where there are no side effects and i feel physically and mentally ready then i will attempt at weaning from the mirtazapine (I wish i could do it immediately so i could finally fit into my old clothes again but alas the evil antidepressant side effects stop this from being a reality right now). I am being careful to keep a journal of my symptoms and become more aware of what my body is telling me, as well as learning from other people's stories from this website, which are immensely helpful as well as listening to James Moore's youtube channel called "Let's talk withdrawal" which i highly recommend to everyone who needs some encouragement. So glad to have found Surviving Antidepressants and reading all your experiences, it really helps to know I am not alone through this process
  12. I’m new to this website/forum, but I’ve been researching and finding great information about people getting off their psychiatric medication. I’m 46, and I was 20 years old in college when I experienced my first full blown panic attack (official diagnosis, panic disorder without agoraphobia, generalized anxiety disorder, depression). Looking back (after lots of therapy), I can now understand the stress I was under at that time. But the main point is that I was put on zoloft and lorazepam which, combined with lots of “social drinking” seemed to put a lockdown on the panic attacks (though I would still wake up with some varying degrees of anxiety most mornings). I put my head down and just sort of pushed my way through life, graduating from college with honors, holding a job doing community education / organizing / speaking, shifting gears and going back to school, and then starting my own successful business. Jump to about 4 years ago, 2012 and things just seemed to begin falling apart. The successful company I had created was now failing, a relationship I actually felt invested in was failing, and the hangovers from drinking had become really intense. In short, I ran out of steam. I gave up drinking in the spring of 2014, and that summer decided I was going to get off the damn meds. I did it the “right way,” tapering off the benzos first, and then the SSRI. And though the anxiety would increase while tapering and it was tough, by the end of the summer (early September) I was actually med free! Unfortunately, mid-October the panic attacks returned full force. Again, I can see now that this was a particularly stressful period of my life, but of course I was really disappointed when I decided I just had to get back on the meds (the panic attacks were relentless and excruciating). The problem was that the meds no longer seemed to work like they did before. And now I’m on MORE meds (add in remeron and extra 50 mg of zoloft). I have made some changes, doing lots of therapy, ACA support groups (and looking at childhood issues generally), exercising again regularly, EMDR, meditation, etc. And I want OFF the meds! I know I need to do this slowly, and at this point, I cut the remeron from 15 mg to 7.5 (about 1.5 months ago) and I’ve cut the benzo (now clonazepam) from 2 mg to 1.5 per day (just started that 3 days ago). My thought is to cut the benzos first, then the last of the remeron. I know with the relatively long half-life of the clonazepam, I need to take it slowly. I’m thinking .5 mg every 2 weeks. From the information I've come across, it seems like some taper off even more slowly than that? I'm looking for others to share their experiences with their own clonazepam withdrawal schedules (for panic disorder, preferably). I just don’t know what to do about the SSRI (zoloft). I realize this website is about benzo withdrawal, but I’m hoping to find others with experience on panic disorder and SSRI withdrawal too (as well as benzo withdrawal support). I hope this is OK on this forum? I’ve been “working with the anxiety” (trying to “make friends” with it as they say in the meditation circles). I know I’m less scared of it now, but I'm also not experiencing the full blown panic attacks. My concern is that I would get off everything (including the SSRI/zoloft) and then the panic attacks return, and it takes SO LONG for the SSRI to build up in one’s system. Do I just prepare myself to weather that storm? Will that storm really pass eventually without the meds? After years of trying to make my physiology match the lifestyle I felt I should lead, I’m now accepting the idea that I need to make my lifestyle match my physiology. The panic attacks are just so damn awful when they hit relentlessly all day long, day after day. I’m scared. Is there anyone out there that has had any experience with the meds and panic attacks along the lines that I have had? Are there other resources out there I should know about? Is it really possible that I can live a purposeful (and perhaps at least semi-peaceful) life without meds after 25 years of being on them? Much gratitude . . .
  13. Hi, I am surfing this forum for over 2 years now. I took Mirtazapine in septembre 2017 prescribed by psychiatrist 15mg for 5 days and stopped because I felt "off", very dizzy & personality changes. Developed severe problems just after stopping. Could not talk on day 1, words would not come... 3 weeks later sleep was gone... so I sporadically took 7,5mg sometimes. Anyways... in Octobre I got into Psychiatry and Neurology to check out if I got some serious illnesss because I did not understand what was happening & could not connect it with the meds, thought they are totally benign. I got quetiapine & took it with low dose mirtazapine & developed dystonia & akathisia & stopped sleeping but still did not know what was happening so I CTed. After that I had 20 days no sleep, akathisia & all withdrawal/adverse symptoms imaginable. I could not relax or drift of to bed no matter what. This changed after 20 days I slept but it was toxic sleep.. like not the normal one I am used to... it was more like I slept because my brain couldn't manage it any longer. I still woke up with cortisol flashes every morning & akathisia. So I got on klonopin 1mg and life was somewhat ok... i tapered down to 0.5mg 3 months later and thought this will all go away soon, except that it didn't. ---- I complained of worsening vision, hearing, weakened perception of bodily sensations.... I feel like my body is still going through severe adverse/withdrawal reactions 25 months later... I feel like I sleep but I actually don't because since this started I feel like I am on cumulative sleep deprivation even though I sleep.... My body could manage cortisol spikes for a good year but then it got more and more derealized so I upped & upped the dose of klonopin till 8mg... I have no idea what to do now... my problem is that I feel like I haven't slept for a year or so.... even though I sleep because my symptoms are super super weird derealization. I feel like my mental space has gotten less and less for the last 2 years... Like if there is loud noise somewhere I can not talk because it takes over my brain... I have physically difficulty talking because it takes much more mental space to form sentences.... I feel like I am a complete outlier here because I can't idenfity myself with anybody who has symptoms like me. I am 27 and I just feel completely asleep while awake but not in a fun way anymore as I did in the first year. My vision & hearing are so completely off that I have serious difficulty percieving watching at my phone or something.... When I look into a room I literally feel like I am not processing enough... I wonder whether I should take some antipsychotics or antidepressants again because I literally feel completely hopeless, it's been too long already and I fear losing everything.... I can't continue living like this.
  14. Hi I had to taper off Mirtazapine quickly over 17 days after being on it 3 months due to adverse side effects it was causing me; sinus congestion and inflammation, Eustachian tube dysfunction and middle ear infections. However since I stopped it two weeks ago, I’ve had severe sinus congestion with thick sticky mucus running down my throat 24/7. My throat constricts when I try to eat anything and the mucus becomes even worse. I am struggling to function at all. please help
  15. Hi, I just came across this peer support group and am delighted as I am really nervous about how I will cope with the withdrawal symptoms. Not looking forward to getting more depressive feelings, suicidal thoughts, crying jags, mood swings, energy slumps. At least with support I can hopefully surf the waves. I still get PMS (32 years and counting!) every 3 weeks and feel like the world is too horrible a place to keep going on - and then my period arrives and I go "Aha! So THAT's what it was!"
  16. I have been on citalopram since 2009 then it stopped working. The Dr put me on citalopram and mirtazapine combination which worked for a while then that stopped working. The Dr then put me on mirtazapine and Venlafaxine 150mg XL combination which workes for a while again ans then stopped working. The Dr put me on amitriptyline 50mg saying thay would be the best drug for me while i took 8 months to slowly remove each bead from Venlafaxine capsule to come off it. As soon as I took my last beed i went into crazy angry depression. The dr increased my dosage of amitriptyline from 50mg to 150mg but the side effects were horrible and at this point i got sick of these meds and decided to quit CT. I had horrible withdrawal symptoms and i started acting like a child and not being able to walk, had balance problems. I reinstated back to 50mg amitriptyline since april 2018 and i have been getting worse. I cannot sleep. My vision is so badly affected that i have grainy vision and floaters have increased dramatically . I see after images and it's as if the lights have been turned off. When i begin to fall asleep, i start to have dreams before i actually fall asleep and my brain keep. Waking up just before i am about to sleep. I cannot follow conversations, I mishear things all the time. I am totally dependant on others and i feel people think i have gone crazy. I don't know what to do i am getting worse and worse. I often trip, lose my balance. I hardly have any short term memory and cannot do simplest of things. I cannot even watch anything on TV as i cannot follow.it I'm having major concentration problems. I don't know how. I'm writing this. I cannot work or drive. Please you have no idea how i am putting these sentences together. I need urgent help. Please advice. I have no energy, no appetite. If I'm posting this in the wrong place, please accept my appology as I can hardly read and understand things. P
  17. Questions: I have been withdrawing from Sertraline for 9 weeks. Doctor put me on two sleeping aids in between to help with insomnia and had Serotonin Syndrome again (trazodone and mirtzopan). Did this put me back at square one with withdrawal symptoms from Sertraline? 9 weeks ago my body began rejecting Sertraline after I was tapering (bad tapering for a year). I developed Serotonin Syndrome and was told to stop the medicine cold turkey. I have been on Sertraline for 7 years transitioning from Cymbalta right before that b/c of pregnancies. Was on it for 5 years) After 3 weeks I had to find relief b/c of the horrible side effects and dark thoughts. I was put on Buspar (just six weeks ago). I read that Buspar doesn't help with withdrawal which was disappointing. But in between the cold turkey of Sertaline (9 weeks ago) my doctor has put me on two serotonin sleep aids because of the horrible insomnia (which I've never suffered with as an adult). I had Serotonin Syndrome again both times. I"m so much better than i was that first month. Dizziness is mostly gone, my appetite is back, I'm laughing again, enjoying activities, but still struggling. BUT my insomnia is still horrible. I took a few days off of .5 klonopin to try over the counter sleep aids. Worked for a few days and then wore off. So my pharmacist put me on both the over counter sleep aids to take with my low dosage of Klonopin (taking .25 or less at night) so that I can eventually wean off of the klonopin. Some nights bendryl has been enough. Other nights, not at all. I"m so discouraged b/c I want to stop the klonopin. This is really the thing that is making me the most depressed. This is when my neuropsychologist put me on mirtzopane and trazadone. Both caused the serotonin syndrome. My question is this. 2 weeks ago was when I took my last dose of trazadone (which i had the adverse affect) does this mean I'm at square one again with my withdrawal symptoms? I"m definitely feeling better but i have to admit. These have been the hardest 9 weeks of my life! I know I will get better but this is hard. Any help and encouraging words would be great. My withdrawal symptoms are now at the moderate stage from the sheets people have posted on here. Thanks and light and love to you all!
  18. Hello, I would like to ask what i should do with my mirtazapine tapering. I started mirtazapine about 10 months ago with dose of 7.5 mg for sleep. I have tried multiple times to quit it cold turkey and i haven't succeed with this kind of method. My doctor prescibed me Trintellix (Vortioxetine) for depression 10 mg/daily which i ate for 13 days and i didn't see any benefit from it during that short period of time. When i started Trintellix i just stopped mirtazapine cold turkey and i slept ok and anxiety was manageable but at day 6 on trintellix + mirtazapine cold turkey withdrawal i experienced serious increase in anxiety so i ate 7.5 mg mirtazapine and day after that i ate 3.75 mg mirtazapine. My anxiety reduced after this and i was again 5 days without mirtazapine and again terrible anxiety came back, tinnitus and i wake up at 3 am anxious and unable to go back to sleep. I don't know what i should do. It would be really nice if you can recommend good aproach for withdrawing from mirtazapine. I don't really want to eat anymore AD:s because i haven't noticed any benefit from them for depression. Mirtazapine has helpt with sleep alot. I think that i should continue mirtazapine withdrawal and quit Trintellix at day 14 because i dont want to be addicted to psych drugs anymore. Two years ago i ate bupropion for 7 months but i had quit it because it started to cause itchy rash around my body. After quitting bupropion i experinced worst depression ever in my life and it also probably destroyed my sleep + memory.
  19. Hi, I was healthy, happy person until 2017. Unfortunately I went through situational stressfull period in the beginning of 2018 and was prescribed Mirtazapin to calm down and to go it over easier. I took 7.5mg for 2 months. Already 3rd day on it neuroanxiety started, I was scared to death but accepted it as starting symptom (I even didn't know it was anxiety). Overall I slept 13hrs a day, felt dizzy and anxiety was there about twice a week so after 2 months I stopped CT knowing nothing about ad wd. 6weeks after non-stop massive anxiety started, I was put on Sertraline, which caused 100% insomnia, fever, vomitting so stopped after 10 days and I was put back od Mirtazapin and stepwisely went to 30mg to "cure" neuroanxiety from Mirt (I didn't know it, I was thinking having serious anxiety disorder)...however anxiety persisted even in lesser extent and I slept good...After 1 month on 30mg I started to be extremely agitated and shortly after anxiety increased and my sleep crashed to 4hrs as well some melancholic spells started. I finally started to google in English and found out that Mirtazapin is cause of my state.. Since Nov 2018 I started tapering 10% every 2 weeks, I know, fast taper but still manageable for me (I had absolutely no pattern in wd sxs). I was on sick leave and still am. Last cut was to 4mg (23rd June). Since July I hit the wall as severe nonstop anxiety hit me again with high BP spikes and terrible other symptoms (sxs were at scale from 1-10 at 5 until June, since July 9-10), I'm bedridden. I hardly sleep, waking from anxiety, sweating terribly, up at 4 a.m. I have to say I have never had anxiety, depression, insomnia my whole life as well any disposition to it (no childhood trauma, very sociable), I have hormonal issues. Currently I know I will have to hold to stabilize. But I'm desperate because my anxiety is so severe it is unbearable for me. Should it be unavoidable during wd I'm not able to go through...I lost already 20lbs on Mirt and have no more reserves. Just I have feeling I'm stuck in this forever but feeling terribly so it can't go on so. Any supportive words?
  20. Hi folks, First of all I'm new to this site, so feel free to tell me I'm in the wrong area or redirect me.. But here's my story... I currently have what I think is severe anhedonia. Last July, I was a bit depressed (I stress a bit, not majorly).......doctor gave me lexapro 10. After taking this, I vomited on the first night and developed sleep problems. Later in the week, I was given 25 seroquel which apparently would help balance out adverse effects of lexapro.......by the end of the week, I wasn't sleeping and I was suicidal. I subsequently was admitted to hospital. In hospital, I got more and more meds thrown at me and my mid august I was on 125 seroquel, 30 mirtazapine, 20 lexapro, 20 Olanzapine/Zyprexa....My main problem was the medication ripped my stomach apart.....the docs didn't believe me and just gave me more and more meds. I left hospital anyway on the concoction I mentioned.....I spent the following four months on these meds. During those four months, I felt no emotion whatsever, nothing. I felt suicidal, and that I would never recover. I had no desire to do anything. I just stayed in bed until late in the day, even though my sleep did not feel like real sleep. By mid November, i realised that the medication was messing me up, I demanded that I gradually come off everything. On that day, the doctor dropped the mirtazapine, and cut everything else in half. There was a quick taper, maybe too quick, and by christmas eve I was off everything. There were brief windows of emotion during the taper but still 95% anhedonia. Days after I went off everything....I cried for the first time in six months.....days later I laughed for the first time in months... I'm now 6 weeks off everything, I had huge headaches up unitl last week. My stomach started to improve after going off everything and is on the mend. However, I'm still worried about emotions/desires/thoughts etc.....over the last six weeks....I've had maybe 5 occassions where I felt strong positive emotions...and maybe 3 times where I've been sad/angry to the point of proper crying. outside of those 8 occassions, there's still an awful amount of flat feeling, apathy etc... I'm worried and wonder how long or if I will recover at all. Feedback welcome!!
  21. Hi Everyone I just wanted to introduce myself. I have been lurking this forum for long enough now. 🙂 Male, 28 My story starts in November 2018 when I went partying with a few friends and consumed different recreational drugs (MDMA, Cocaine, Speed and Alcohol). I wasn't new to these drugs but I made the huge mistake to not test any substance and not dosing correctly. However I didn't feel bad throughout that weekend and the hangover was as expected. After four days the panic attacks and the depression started and it just did not get any better over time. A month later I had enough and went to my GP who immediately put me on Effexor and Seroquel. Later on Seroquel has been exchanged first to Mirtazapine and then Trazodone (see signature). The drugs definitely helped with the panic attacks but Side Effect were just unbearable I felt 40 years older, manic, aggressive, suicidal, without any motivation and completely emotionally numb. There was just no way I would stay on this horrible stuff any longer so I went cold turkey after two months. The first two months were kind of ok but I still felt drugged. After that the emotional symptoms kicked in and it became a fight for survival day by day. I will not go into detail about it because you probably all know what I am talking about. Sixth month later I made some progress, the symptoms became a little bit less intense and I had some windows. Over the next four months I made some further minuscule improvements, windows became longer. I started to feel kind of stable in my recovery, it gave me some hope that I didn't lose my job and my girlfriend throughout all this time. Next month I will be drug free for a year but it is still a massive struggle every day. Right now I seem to be in a long wave (5 weeks so far) with a great change of symptoms. The anxiety and the panic attacks have become a lot worse recently and there are a lot of physical symptoms like dizziness, nausea, loss of appetite and generally feeling miserable. I have become less active, less motivated to exercise but on the other hand I am also feeling kind of ok with it. Also my sleep seems to have changed quite a bit, I didn't have very bad insomnia so far only very intense and draining dreams. They are mostly gone now but instead I am sleeping two to three hours less per night. I try to see these changes as my brain being at work 🙂 I can't differentiate if I am still in Withdrawal or if this is the after effect of the recreational drug incident (any ideas?). All I can hope for is that my brain will heal the same way as it does if I had taken psychiatric drugs only. Throughout my life I only had a few bouts of mild depression and anxiety (and three mild panic attacks), nothing I couldn't cope with. I also have never been on any psychiatric drug. I will try to document my recovery in this topic. Massive thanks to the people of this forum without you I would probably have gone back on psychiatric drugs a long time ago. You can't imagine how much hope I got reading through these pages! 🙂
  22. Hello! I was Rx'd mirtazapine postpartum for postpartum anxiety and insomnia, as well as ativan 0.5mg - 1 mg (i only took the ativan for about 2 weeks though). At one point before these meds, I was up for 72 hours straight - not a single minute of sleep. It was horrible, but the meds were a godsend. I've been on it a little over a year now (about 14 months). I was originally rx'd 7.5 mg and upped the dosage to 15 mg in Feb 2019. Since my reasons for being rx'd it are now gone (my son is well over a year old and my postpartum hormones have leveled off), I want to try my life without it. Before the birth of my son, I was never on any AD's or antianxiety meds. I saw a doc on monday and he said to just start by taking half a pill and do that for a few weeks or a month and then we would reassess how I feel and proceed the rest of my taper from there. Last night was the first night on the low dose and sleep was hard - I ended up taking 1 mg of ativan (which I have for the occasional anxiety inducing situation) and 50 mg of benadryl. I didn't get great sleep - maybe about 3-4 hours, but without those meds I would have gotten none. I'm reading some places not to take benadryl with mirtazapine - but I'm not sure I understand why. Can anyone explain why that's a poor decision? Is it ok to do every once in a while - as long as I don't do it every night? I can handle a night of absolutely no sleep if I know I can get some sleep the next night. I've tried melatonin but it doesn't seem to work for me - I was taking 3 mg, but maybe I need a *lower* dose of it? Valerian root gives me nightmares so I avoid it. After reading some on the board, I think I'm going to taper by 10% from 7.5mg -> 0mg. I've bought my solution and pill crusher - but I've already started this taper from 15mg -> 7.5mg so I think I'm just gonna see it through the next few weeks - even if it's really horrible. Anyways - other than the crappy sleep, I don't really have any other noticeable effects from the drop yet. I know they may take a few days to show up. Thanks!
  23. Hello everybody. I'm from Finland. My health problems started 2015 when I tried to change my diet to vegan even I had build my physics with gym and eating much of meat half of my life and I had big muscles. This suddenly diet changing caused problems. My nervous system didn't recover anymore and I start to lost muscles and power very fast. I stop gym but half year later I started it again but still trying to eat vegan diet and that led me to bad problems. I got sinus problems and cat allegy and I had two cats. All this led me problems caused by medicines. First some medicine caused panic attack when I was sleeping and then I got anxious and doctor gave me benzos. They caused problems and when I tried to get off them but I made some mistakes because I didn't understand how it should to do and doctors also didn't understand. I started to use mirtazapine (same than remeron) for sleeping when tapering benzos and it caused even bigger problem and when I tried to get off mirtazapine the situation went so bad that I started to SSRI named Escitalopram (same than Cipralex or Lexapro) because pressure by the doctor and my symptoms was also so bad. Doctors didn't believe withdrawal symptoms by mirtazapine. When I reducing the mirtazapine dose my digestive system also stop working properly and I think that also made me feel so horrible. It took time to find how I should eat. When I tried to reduce my Escitalopram dose I failed few times. Then I started to looking some ways to make systems of my body working better that reducing the medicine could working and one after another I found some things that worked for me. Finally the reducing the dose start to working. I also found a good method from one Facebook group. The problem was that escitalopram is not water soluble. I developed that method a little better. In this video I show how I made that: How I tapering Escitalopram I tapered the dose about one year from 15 milligrams to 5,73 milligrams. Then I started suspect that the medicine itself make the tapering harder. That is a little hard to explain. I decided to jump to zero from that dose and I knew it's huge jump. With all my systems that I had found my symptoms have stay tolerable. I mean food system and some supplements. I kind of manipulate my nervous system with them that the symptoms stay away or not completely away but they stay much easier. I took my last dose in 28 th september 2019. It was over 4 months ago. Now I feel this is gonna take very long time to heal. I can't sport much and I can't even use computers too much. I need even limit reading books or listening audio books because capacity of my brain is so low. So I need allways consider where to I want to use my limited capacity. If I have used too much computer and smart phone it can took few days to recover from that. Sometimes I also feel anxious and depressed. My nervous system is also extreme sensitive to many things like herbal spices, vitamins, many foods and so on. My food system is very very limited and exact. I have to eat certain foods exactly in certain ratio. If they are not in that same ratio I get symptoms. All those my systems protect me that my situation stay tolerable. I also need to take certain supplements at a certain time and just the certain dose or I get symptoms. Now I'm just waiting how long this is gonna take and when all this is going to get better or is the worst yet to come. I guess this is going to take at least year but probably longer to heal. So my problems started from very little but because my and doctors weak understanding the small problem grew very big problem. Every time I understood certaing things when it was already too late and the situation was got worst.
  24. Since my Intro thread seems to have disappeared, this is my new one... What led me to this world of AD's and Benzos was a panic disorder, more than 10 years ago. And the PD was triggered by anxiety and depression. I'm not sure even by these days if that anxiety brought depression, if depression brought anxiety, or both came at same time. But my better guess is that anxiety showed up first and triggered all the rest. Anyway, after many drugs taken such as Paroxetine, Venlafaxine (both caused me severe adverse reactions), Moclobemide, Mirtazapine, Alprazolam, Midazolam, Mexazolam, Diazepam, you name it, eventually I could stabilize with Escitalopram and Ethyl Loflazepate. Two years ago I started to take Mirtazapine to helps me sleep. I had some problems at work and my sleep was affected. Last November, due some problems (also in my job, but there was more...) I started to feeling more anxious and I can´t sleep...and the whole thing started again. I took Levomepromazine to helps me sleep and my former Psychiatrist told me to stop Mirtazapine. Didn´t work since I felt numb all day long. So I came back to Mirtazapine and started to take Clonazepam. When I knew this site I still tried to drop off Clonazepam, but it was very thoug. However, I already reduced Clonazepam from 2 mg to 1.6 mg as well Escitalopram from 10 mg to 9 mg and now I'm holding, as you can see on my signature. That being said, let me continue with my journal... I´ve been noticed one thing, first I didn´t pay attention but now I thought it could be interesting: in the morning I feel more depressed, with all regrets I have, all intrusive thoughts, stuff like that... Later in the day I start to feel better, despite becoming a little bit more anxious since about 5 p.m until I take Clonazepam at night (as discussed on my benzo thread). Let´s say, my best time in day is in the range 1 p.m - 5 p.m. and the mornings always are more complicated. When I just awake all seems to be hard... Is there any explanation for this?
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