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  1. Hello everyone, Just found your website after searching the net due to problems I'm having coming off Mirtazapine. I have been on 30mg daiy for over 3 years but due to weight gain I wanted to come off so DR said to go 30mg one night 15mg the next for a few weeks and review, it hasn't worked out well for me as I felt OK after the first week so dropped to 15mg per night but had big anxiety issues returning so panicked and tried to go back upto 30mg but found that that made me feel worse, it was like starting on the meds again so it was agreed to try 22 1/2 mg everyday for a month then see how I feel after that. I guess I am panicking at the moment so just want to take time to read up here and try to relax abit and hope things settle down. Looking at the reduction rate here I am way off and taking big hits so I find it reasuring that I gone way too fast reducing and this explains why I feel so rubbish at the moment. One positive is I am not eating well so can shed a few lb's but understand that i need to eat so im sure this will be a short term thing, I don't miss the raging apertite 30mg gave me that's for sure. Any way thanks for listening
  2. Community of healing, hello. my name is dave. in february of 2012, things started going terribly wrong. i have always been a person with some anxiety and depression. in fact my parents began medicating me for this when i was in the first grade, when the nuns at the parochial school i attended informed them i wasn't "living up to expectations." at this time (early 80s), the medications were as heavy as they are today - in fact, many of the drugs that were put into my childhood body are currently considered barbaric in standard medical practice. nice. anyway, in my teen years and early 20s, i tried many different medications. prozac, paxil, zoloft, blah blah blah. i wanted to put out the fire - i wanted to mellow out and not feel the anxiety. i wanted to not feel the sadness. i was taught that those things were not ok to feel - that these human emotions were to be avoided at all costs. the line-up that my doctors settled upon were remeron and ativan. the remeron was 7.5mg daily, the ativan .5mg as needed. for over a decade, i kept the remeron between 3.75 and 7.5 - the ativan, between .25 and .5. i've always been a "little dab will do you" individual. when i still consumed alcoholic beverages, i was a totally cheap date. 1 drink felt good, 2 drinks was a nap on the couch. my system has always been highly sensitive, as so many of ours are. in late 2011, the ativan wasn't working anymore. the doctors threw in some xanax and bumped the ativan dose. it helped a little. in early 2012, i noticed some profound dizziness - like i was walking on a swaying ship. i had actually been noticing this for a year or more, doctors could find no pathology to explain it. but it was getting worse. i suspected it was the remeron. my doctor said, "well, stop taking it." so, i ditched the 7.5mg of remeron cold turkey YAHOOOOO! and my system went nuts. i could not eat, i could not sleep. i began losing weight - lots. in hindsight, i realize i was in full benzodiazepine tolerance withdrawal and remeron withdrawal. my doctors said it was "just the anxiety getting worse." they were just about ready to throw some klonopin into the mix when i bailed. i started a rapid taper that essentially amounted to a cold turkey from the ativan and began to suffer intensely. between the months of april 2012 and june 2012, i went from being a solidly built 162lb marathon runner to a 129lb human who could not lift his head off the pillow, barely acknowledged his wife and children, was confused as to who the president was and what month it was, and finally, began having intense violent intrusive thoughts - both suicidal and outwardly motivated. i checked myself into a hospital. i was so scared. i figured that was the thing i needed to do. get fixed. as soon as i got in, they tried to get me to reinstate the benzodiazepines. i refused. in my lucid moments, i had read too much online to do it. they put me on seroquil, which produced serious side effects. they switched me to risperidone and left me with that. i wanted out of the hospital. they became fairly insistent that if i were to do so, i would need to be on another medication. i mentioned reinstating the remeron. they liked that idea. they put me back on 7.5mg. a day later, they bumped me up to 15mg, a day later, they bumped me up to 30mg. my whole body was vibrating. i was having nocturnal emissions nightly in the hospital bed. the intrusive thoughts and all the other withdrawal symptoms skipped along merrily, unaffected by the drugs, but the hospital thought i was "good to go." so off i went. oh, and they handed me a script for valium on the way out "just in case." in the hospital, i mentioned both benzo and antidepressant withdrawal. even offering to show them the ins and outs of the ashton manual, which in the benzo world, is fairly revered. the doctors took a position that what i had to say was of little consequence. they were the doctors after all, they should know best. and any words on my part were greeted as a questioning of their authority. the next 8 to 12 months were essentially hell. i kicked the risperidone to the curb almost immediately. if anything, that anti-psychotic was making things worse. the 30mg of remeron was so damn activating, i wanted to jump out of my skin and climb up trees daily. but i felt stuck on it. when i began experiencing intermittent periods of gradually extending "windows" and "waves," i began to taper the remeron slowly. things were very bad for a very long time. very bad. did i mention that things were VERY VERY BAD? i managed to keep my job. it wasn't easy. when i was at my very worst, i would work from my bed at home. getting up to puke, sitting in a stupor, trying to answer e-mails and phone calls as if my brain were not a bashed-up mess. trying to put together sentences. when i was able to return to work, the intrusive thoughts were so bad, i either stayed glued to my desk, or else went back behind my office building and fought off the daily urge to throw myself into the waters. i wanted to die so bad. those waters were almost calling me into them. i fought back. and i am glad, beyond, that i fought. by the 8 to 9 month mark, things started improving somewhat quickly, the tapering of the remeron was becoming somewhat easier, the benzo symptoms were easing. the windows got longer and longer until the waves became basically a couple hours during a day or two per month. i need to cut this short. i could literally write a book about this whole experience, but i don't want to waste your time and i myself have to boogie. let me just say this. i am still tapering - i am now at 2mg of liquid remeron. i have a pharmacy compound for me. i make 10% cuts, hold for 4 to 6 weeks in between, and go in for another round. when i cut, i feel it the day after i make it - an intensification of the symptoms. things settle for a short while. around the 2 week mark after a cut, it kicks me harder. usually restless legs, nausea, intestinal disturbance, mild insomnia, intensification of anxiety and the desire to cry for no reason at all. the intrusive thoughts are totally gone. i don't experience these anymore. and i am thankful. they were my worst symptom. they plagued me and plagued me and plagued me and they are gone. i try to eat as clean as possible. higher protein, lower carbs, almost no refined sugars. i short-circuit the cortisol response by waking at 0345hrs each morning. i am at the gym very early, i put in a workout, i go to work. i could not exercise at all for the first year after withdrawal. it would activate my central nervous system to much. but now i lift weights and lift heavy and i do only enough cardio to keep that system as optimal as i feel it needs to be. i supplement with whey protein, vitamin d, b vitamin/folic acid, magnesium, and some occasional omegas in the form of either fish oil or hemp protein. i do not drink alcohol. i do not use pot. i consider these substances a colossal waste of time. i do not use any other chemicals that will interfere with my brain chemistry. i'm not sure how much of a hassle these last 2mg will be. i think i will probably be all done with the remeron by the end of 2015, if things keep ticking along. that is my goal at least. after benzo withdrawal, and the remeron withdrawal that followed, i know i can weather whatever storm. i'll own the pain. i'm not a tough guy at all. but withdrawal has showed me two things: that i can live through hell on earth and that the anxiety and depression that underlies my personal psychology is "normal," and manageable without the use of chemical substances. thanks for taking the time to read this. and no matter where you are on your own journey, hang in there. when i was 129lbs and barely able to move, barely cognizant of who i was, i doubted that i would ever heal. i am almost there, community. you will be too. hang in there...
  3. Hi, I'm 39 years old and have been lurking on this site intermittently for at least seven of the eleven years I've been on polypharma. I've never posted. The reasons I ended up on the meds I'm on are different than I've seen from anyone else, which has felt isolating. So for those who have the patience to read my story, I'd love to know if you share commonalities with me. The short version: escitalopram, buspirone, bupropion for 11 years. Mirtazapine for 8, following an unsuccessful too-fast escitalopram taper. Meds prescribed for terminal insomnia after ten years of cortisol-related early AM waking and being unable to go back to sleep, except bupropion, which was prescribed to counter side effects. Here's the long story, if you want. Rewind a bunch. I'm seventeen years old. I've been on depo-provera for a few months, which I don't realize is making me terribly depressed, because I have such little self-awareness. It's my first night away at college. Also one of my first few times very, very drunk. I don't know that it makes you dehydrated. I don't know that there's a cortisol spike in the AM hours, and that drinking makes that higher and earlier. I don't know much of anything, especially about how to take care of myself in a world full of interesting opportunities to experience altered states. I wake up at 4am with my heart racing. I can't get back to sleep for hours. This has never happened before. My childhood insomnia was about falling asleep, not staying asleep. The 4am wakeup and long sleepless period happens every single night, beginning that first night at college. Even the nights I don't drink. I try melatonin, Benadryl. Nothing helps. I develop anxiety around sleep, but I don't realize that's happening. I'm too young and have too little self-awareness. Drinking quells the anxiety enough that I can go to sleep. I don't realize it's making the cortisol cycle worse. - Now I'm in my early 20s. I dropped out of college to drink and take a lot of all different kinds of illicit drugs. It's mostly in an attempt to medicate depression and sleep issues, but I'm starting to realize that the drugs and drinking are making it worse. I am pretty sure I've done some damage to myself somehow by now, especially with MDMA. I'm still waking up at 3-4am. Sometimes I drink myself back to sleep. I spend part of a year taking prozac. It doesn't seem to help me. I stop taking it. If I have withdrawals, I don't notice them, probably due to drinking. Eventually, after a beloved pet disappears, I check myself in to the psych ward, suicidal and having panic attacks, but unwilling to admit that my primary issue is alcoholism. I've already convinced a psychiatrist to diagnose me with Bipolar I and send me home with Depakote and Seroquel. Being in a psych ward seems a logical next step. After I'm released, I find that shaking from the Depakote interferes with my ability to pour beer from pitchers, so I stop taking it. The seroquel makes me balloon up in weight (I've always been naturally very thin), binge on fast food, sleep 14 hours a night (still with a 4 am wakeup), and be unable to get off the couch when I am awake. I eventually stop taking it too. I don't notice withdrawals. I'm drinking far too much to notice something like that. - I've just turned 25. I haven't worked in years. A sequence of awful events leads me to get sober. I'm not on any psych meds. I don't take any drugs. Sobriety gives me so much, hard as it is. I'm still waking at 4 am, heart pounding, sleepless for long periods. My recovery friends tell me it gets better. I practice ridiculously impeccable sleep hygiene. I exercise regularly, but not too hard. I go to acupuncturists, naturopaths, cranio-sacral practitioners, therapists. I check into a sleep clinic. I wake up 164 times that night. They tell me they can't find a reason for my insomnia. Two years pass. I still wake at 4 am, can't get back to sleep for over an hour. I am in college. I am working. I am pulling my life together. But I feel awful every single day from sleep deprivation. In the middle of yoga class, I fall asleep once doing downward dog, waking as I collapse on the floor. I am exhausted. I am desperate. I still don't drink, don't use drugs. I am 27. I get referred into the closed private practice of a neurologist. At my request, he tries tons of supplements first. I do not want to go on medications. I did not get sober for that. He is happy to work with supplements. He's past retirement age and clearly cares about his patients. He does this for love, not money. I am grateful. The supplements do not help. We try many. I am too poor to raise my dose more with some of them, even though he sells some of them to me at cost - the ones he can get at wholesale prices. Medications are cheaper. I cave in. He writes a prescription for Lexapro and buspirone, which I fill. I sleep through the night. It has been ten years since I got a good night's sleep. I wake in the sunshine in my high-ceilinged room, blocks from the university where I'm about to begin attending classes to finish my bachelor's degree. Everything feels like it is finally falling into place. I don't sleep through the night again, but every morning when I wake at 4am, I immediately fall back asleep. I am rested. I'm able to learn, to make use of my therapy and all my internal work. I've lost huge parts of my sexual functioning, which activates trauma from younger years, but I don't care enough to go off the meds. Sleep is too important. I do ask my neurologist if there's anything that can help. He prescribes bupropion. It sort of helps, a little. Maybe. I'm 29. I've lost a lot of my sexual functioning. I've also become disconnected from my spirituality, which was a fundamental part of my life since...since forever. It will take a few years before I attribute the latter to my medications. I'm still on three meds and a bunch of supplements. Now I'm 32. I've met the man I plan to spend the rest of my life with. We are talking about children. I am advised by several doctors not to have kids when I'm on this cocktail unless I'm certain I'm willing to go through whatever they may experience as a result of me being on them - which is a huge unknown. They may be born healthy. They may be born needing a lifetime of 24/7 care. I know I have to get off the meds. I find this site. I do a half-hearted six month taper off of ten mg of escitalopram. As I come off the last of it, I can taste my spirituality again and my sexuality begins working again. But none of that matters, as I lose my grip on sanity at the same time. I work with my neurologist to try a ton of other kinds of meds. None of them work well for sleep or mental health, but mirtazapine seems to help a little for sleep. So I stay on it. My neurologist runs out of things he can and will prescribe to a former addict. I go back on the escitalopram too. Then I raise the dose of the escitalopram from 10mg non-generic to 20mg generic, because the generic doesn't seem to work as well. I can sleep again. I exhale. No babies for me, no orgasms, no spiritual connection, but at least I can sleep. One time, when camping, I miss taking my lexapro in the dark. I don't realize it's still in my pill case. I have an overwhelming suicidal episode that lasts until that night, when I discover my mistake, take my dose, and am fine-ish the next day. I now know this is not a medication I can easily change. It's 2018. I'm 38. I have the dubious luxury of being between careers and the indisputable luxury of having someone else who can pay the bills, if barely. I am hearing scary things about antihistamines, which is what mirtazapine mostly does at the 7.5mg dose I'm on. It is drying me out. I know this cannot be good for me. I am still sleeping. I want to see if I can be on less of my meds and still sleep. Maybe I can get some of my sexual functioning back. Maybe some of my spiritual connection. Maybe just a healthier life in ways I can't identify for sure. Slowly, carefully, following the 10% or less rule, holding when I feel unstable, I begin to taper my mirtazapine. The lower I go, the worse my sexual functioning gets. I know the escitalopram has to be reduced. Last night, I took 18mg of carefully made liquid escitalopram instead of the 20mg tablet I've been taking for the last eight years. In the past few months, to deal with being on less mirtazapine, I've been carefully experimenting with CBD. I'm not afraid to trade off one thing for another, if I can sleep and have a side effect profile I'm ok with. I smoke and vape it to avoid the first pass metabolism interactions with my meds. I'm not sure if that actually works that way, but it seems to interact with them less than when I take it orally. I know this method of consumption isn't ideal, because it incurs health costs too. I feel concerned about my options. But I am determined to be on less of the meds that are giving me these side effects. Maybe someday I can reduce or get rid of the CBD too. Maybe the side effects from it are just not as frustrating. I'm not anti meds. I believe they saved my life. I was suicidal from ten years of daily terminal insomnia. And the meds still work for me. But want off of them, as much as I can be and still mostly sleep. I don't know if I get back my sexuality or my spirituality, at any dose or no dose. But when I quit lexapro before, it looked like I might, and I miss the life energy those things gave me. So I'm here to offer support, and to receive it. I'm sure I'll need to do both to make it through this process. I'll add meds to my sig later, when it's not so dang late.
  4. My story.. I have had a year from hell and scared and traumatised. Typically a high functioning professional person working full time until May last year when psychiatrist changed my medication from citalopram 40mg to fluoxeteine. This was because of episodes I experienced following drinking alcohol usually when tired and run down, I may drink 3-4 glasses of wine wake up with a hangover and crash. A crash involved feelings of severe anxiety and I would take 1-2 mg Diazepam and hanker down in bed for one sometimes two weeks and would gradually come right and life would go on as normal for years. The occurrence of theses crashes were becoming more frequent potentially because of work and family stressors so the decision was made to switch from citalopram to fluoxteine. From here I had 3 major mental health crisis which involved outpatient treatment at local psych hospital my medication regime was changed (see signature)and I completed a 11 week programme at anxiety disorders clinic based on CBD ending in December last year. While useful I continued until now to have a couple of good weeks followed by weeks where I felt terrible mainly with with physical symptoms anxiety, bowel and bladder hypersensitivity, unable to wind down, fatigued, breathless, weight gain +++ very speedy and fast in processing then crashing when i stop. Since January 2019 I have been trying to cut back the diazepam unsuccessfully an have currently given up on this idea. Have just been back to my GP as am struggling big time with the current combinations of medications (in signature) and do not feel they are helping me. She wrote to the psychiatrist who a recommended Psychiatrist recommending not commenced as yet Continuing with diazepam 3 mg daily not reducing while making changes to medication Reduction of Mirtazapin at 15mg increments prior to this decreasing mirtazapine increasing fluoxteine to 60 mg In the mean time I have had another crash needing to take a week off work. I should mention I resigned from my initial job after taking 3 months sick leave and started a new Job in February this year which is only 4 days a week. One day I go to yoga and have a quite day. Would be grateful for any advice support, I feel like i have lost my life and wonder how much of this is related to medication or combination of .?
  5. Hi, my signature has a potted meds history, there were others I don't remember. I recently spoke to my prescribing doctor (pdoc) and she agreed to assist with withdrawal from quetiapine (Seroquel XR) but when I tried by reducing 50% over the fifth day I unravelled completely so went back to full dose feeling like I a failure. She seems not to have a handle on what to do, so it is up to me to get informed. Have been on quetiapine since mid-2014 with a brief hiatus when a psych added Lithium which was disastrous, huge anxiety spikes and meltdown in public. But the psychiatrists said the response may have been psychological, rather than the lithium. I stopped the lithium anyway. I feel I am under a constant mental and physical oppression, I developed tinnitus in 2016 when I was briefly on another brain med, can't remember which one, the tinnitus continued when I stopped it. I struggle to be creative, I want to write, paint and create meaning in my life but mostly can't be bothered. I cycle through hypomania and despair with regular monotony. The drugs seem to do nothing to stop the bipolar cycle, although truthfully the lows are not as low since the mirtazapine increase last year, and the highs are not as high nor as prolonged as they used to be before the quetiapine/Seroquel. The only plus side is it regulates my sleep well most of the time. I found this forum via Mad in America when I searched for quetiapine withdrawal on that site. Brief on physical health: I am in my mid 50's. I have gained 30 to 35 kilos since 2014 I had a full hysterectomy and oophorectomy so instant menopause and also went onto quetiapine at that time mid-year. I am SO hungry all the time, I try to eat sensibly, but I eat too much and as I have a back injury and neuropathy in one leg, walking is difficult - I can do 1 to 1.5 km a day that's it. I started swimming again to try to reduce weight but both shoulders developed bursitis. So exercising is in the 'light exercise" range. I really want to lose most of the drug-induced weight gain. My goal is to come off Quetiapine all together eventually and reduce mirtazapine back to 30 mg. Because I am on an XR coated Seroquel the lowest dose available to reduce is 50 mg at a time I see from the information pages you recommend 10% at a time. I don't really know how to go about making a long-acting tablet into a 10% reduction. I am wondering if I could try to reduce 50mg (I went straight to 100mg skipping my morning dose and that didn't work) for 6 weeks and see how I go? I have read some of the advice here. I forgot I also have 25mg IR quietipine as a PRN but have not used it for some time. Perhaps I could do this and see. Drop 50 mg of XR and take 25 mg of IR so = 1 x 50 mg XR + 1 x 25 IR in the morning and the two 50 mg XR (=100mg) at night for say a month, to see what the effects are, keeping track of any withdrawal symptoms, then drop the 25 IR so only on 1 x 50 mg SR in morning for a month, watch and wait, drop that to 25 mg IR for a month, then stop the moring dose for a month. Then possibly go to the same formula as all that - repeated at night. Does that sound possible or sensible to begin?
  6. Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Hibari: Swtich from Ativan to Clonazapam Hi, I have been Remeron since April 2014 reaching a dosage between 37.50-41.25 I also have been on Lamictal since September 2014 reaching a dosage of 200mg. I began a taper of the Remeron with my psychiatrists knowlege, I think at the end of February/March? Hard to remember with my somewhat foggy brain. I am now down to 28.125-tapering at about 10% for each cut. My withdrawal has follwed a specific pattern. I make the cut, feel some nausea but okay, then after about 2-3 weeks have a crash, depression, crying, and anxiety. Then I pop through and move into a more stable period. I think I let myself stabilize for about 10 days and then make another drop. My question is about starting a slow Lamictal withdrawal at the same time. I may be overeacting but when I read about what Lamictal can do to the brain, along with other antidepressants, I want to start the taper now. I do have some professional obligations happening over the next few months but I don't want to stop my progress. I like many others I have read am very impatient about getting off these medictions. They served their purpose to help me after a long stressful period of caretaking-7 years-and then the death of my mom 2 1/2 years ago. Any thoughts or experience about taper from two drugs at the same time. Thanks. Hibari 28.125 Remeron 200mgs Lamictal
  7. Hi, I would like to know why making a liquid form instead of just tapering with a milligrams balance and a cutter ? is it faster, isn't it ? I just cut off a small piece from the tablet (in my case a mirtazapine soltab) with a cutter then I weigh it in the milligrams balance. Maybe it's not so accurate like with a liquid form but if you are precise in cutting the tablet you can do it. For example my mirtazapine soltab (30mg) weighs 300 milligrams so for a reduction of 10% I just substract 30 milligrams from the tablet with a cutter. So why a liquid form is better ? maybe for the reason that goin down in a smaller doses it becomes harder to cut 10% or are there other reasons ? thanks.
  8. I suffered a breakdown a year ago and was suffering from severe panic and anxiety. I was put on 100mg Sertraline for 9 weeks which didn't work. C/T from that. After 6 weeks of Sertraline, Quitiapine 50mg was added which helped me sleep but not much more. C/T after 5 weeks. Never really understood the importance to taper. After 4 weeks off medication back in hole so back to dr and put on Mertrazapine 15mg, seemed to work at first then stopped and after 5 weeks ended up in hospital with akathisia - taken off C/T. Then put on 2mg Lorazepam a day to deal with the akathisia. Kept on for 6 weeks then started a taper over 12 weeks which i thought was long enough but ended up in a really bad way. Reinstated 1mg Lorazepam and placed on Amitriptyline 75mg. Amitriptyline helped me sleep but after 12 weeks has not helped the anxiety and depression. I ended up in a bad way again and went to a new psychiatrist. I know that I have anxiety and depression that existed before I was put on any medication but none of the medications have helped so far. I was not educated on what a benzo can do or that antidepressants should be tapered. I was not on anything that long! I have now read a lot on line including benzo tapering sites and realise everything needs to be done slowly. My new psychiatrist has gradually put me on 10mg escitroplam - I started at 1mg and have been working up slowly over the last 3 weeks. I have slowly tapered down my lorazepam to 0.2mg per day. I am also still on 75mg amitriptyline. My psychiatrist has told me to keep these both stable until I have been on Escitroplam for a few weeks at 10mg. It is so difficult to do as i am desperate to reduce both but understand one thing at a time. I am happy to be on the escitroplam and see if It does give me some relief but want off the other 2. I will listen to my doctor but would also like to hear feedback from others as to whether I should come off the benzo first - I am so low. Or hold that while i come off the amitriptyline slowly. Also how fast can I come off the amitriptyline given that i am on a new antidepressant and have only been on it 12 weeks. So many questions. Thanks
  9. Hello all, i had found this site on google before and have some questions. I took 15 mg Mirtazapine 6 months and stopped 5 months ago, now i'm in big trouble. After stopping i slowly started losing my emotions and feelings but now i'm complete dead inside, it feels like my soul has gone, there is only silence in me, no matter what i'm doing i can't enjoy things anymore because i'm not connected to it in any way like emotions, thinking about it etc.. and it's almost impossible to sleep, because i simply don't feel anything and don't even know when i'm tired, when i read my name or see some old pictures of myself, i don't feel connected to it in any way, same thing if i look in the mirror, it simply is like there is nothing inside me anymore. I don't have panic attacks or feel sad, i can't say how i'm feeling because feelings are no longer there. If i remember some things i can't get some emotions or feel deep about something that was very important to me, i lost interest in everything that i loved, its hard to concentrate without feeling anything, or know what todo, what is important or not, what is right or wrong..... it's also almost imposible for me to go out or visit some friends, but i know that i'm in reality and never had hallucinations, some time after stopping mirtazapine i was manic My question now is what could this be? Is it permanent braindamage or is it some sort of DP? I had DR before but i had feelings and panic attacks, now i simply don't feel anything. I had depression for years but this for sure is no depression anymore. Please let me know anyone what i can do about this because im very suicidal the last time, but i don't want to give up and die in this condition, i had many plans for my life, i can't belive all that could happen to me and i don't wish such condition to anyone, well maybe to the doc only that gave me that pills... Regards, helpless.
  10. Hello all, I finished my 4 month benzo taper in April 2019 after 1 year of taking it as prescribed . I had developed interdose withdrawal and tolerance to benzos and didn't know what it was at the time. After finally figuring out what was going on, I figured out how to taper. I was also floxed with Cipro while in tolerance from benzos. It was absolute hell, and I can't believe it did it. Determined to be off of all medications, I started to taper off of Prozac and Mirtazapine. I went too fast initially, and now I'm really suffering. I'm going to hold until I stabilize. I would appreciate any advice from anyone else who has been polydrugged. I know I need to go slow- 10% a month. Do I finish the Prozac taper first and then work on the Mirtz? Thanks in advance for your help!!
  11. Hello all, New here. After some traumatic life events (including diagnosis with an autoimmune disease) was put on mirtazapine nov 2018 during a day clinic program. They said it was a strong depressive episode with symptoms of anxiety. It was never pushed on me though most other places it might have been. Here they felt I had clear reasons and grief. In any case, I started mirtazapine 7,5 mg and slept for the first time in months. Then 15 mg and finally 22,5 when 15 wasn’t cutting it. This was the right dose. Yes I gained a bit of weight and had vertigo at times but that went away. I was given this med because I also take baby aspirin to think the blood to due a clotting antibody that was found. They felt this was the least risky. Who knows? Last month found out we have to start the process to have kids faster than I wanted due to diminished ovarian reserve and my psychiatrist who I will now fire gave me no real directions about the med and pregnancy. Said better not to look back and wonder if any issues with the kid were your fault. So I decided to taper down to avoid adding another med to my list and I have been feeling better and working, disease more well controlled. I asked for taper tips. She said in theory you can stop tomo but maybe try over a few weeks. No more tips. So I reduced a quarter every 10 days. Was pretty ok with one day (second day after reducing) usually being tough. Irritability, fatigue, sadness, a bit of anxiety. Then it would level out mostly. I was traveling this week, and figured I would be in a good mood and tapered mid break but forgot and did a half instead of a quarter (15mg to 7,5 mg) and BOY what a catastrophe. I had all those symptoms but magnified x10 and went back up to 15 mg the next day and felt almost immediately ok again. However today I felt headachey, sad and a bit anxious again and am afraid after some things I read that I have somehow permanently busted my already shaky brain and nervous system. With fertility treatments coming in the next months, I’d like any hope or advice on how to manage the taper? Or to hear from anyone who used it during pregnancy at a lower dose. Thanks for having me and for doing this! What a relief that this group exists.
  12. Moderator's note: link to benzo forum thread - EmmiseA: Can I taper an antidepressant and benzo at same time? Hello, I came on here for some much needed advice/ reassurance. Back in March 2018 I had a horrific reaction to being put on Sertraline 25mg for postnatal anxiety/depression. After 2 weeks, the insomnia was dreadful, anxiety and depression was through the roof. I switched onto citalopram 10mg and after no change in symptoms after a few days apart from developing horrible Hypnic jerks, I was told to come off it by my psychiatrist. The brain zaps, skin crawling, heart palpitations and other side effects lessened over a few weeks but I couldn’t sleep due to these awful jerks and my anxiety and depression were through the roof. I went back to my psychiatrist who put me on quitiepine and pregabalin and 1mg clonazepam. I slept on the clonazepam no problem, but still noticed a few jerks on sleep onset. I successfully tapered off the pregabalin, quitiepine and clonazepam with no new effects but the doctors decided I needed an antidepressant and put me on 30mg of Mirtazapine. I am now on Mirtazipine and down to 0.375mg clonazepam, this being given to me again to help the jerks. 5 months later I still have the Hypnic jerks and muscle fasciculations. They haven’t got any worse on the Mirtazapine - if anything they have got somewhat better - but I still have a few nights a month even when I’m this low dose of clonazepam where they don’t allow me any sleep at all, the twitching is so bad. I really really need to hear some success stories of the jerks going away, please!! I’m afraid to touch anything at the moment in terms of the antidepressant, but am still tapering clonazepam with the aim of being off it soon. My aim is to try and get stable with these jerks and my sleep patterns and then very slowly taper off mirtazipine. Please no horror stories, my nerves just can’t take it!! I need to hear success stories. Many thanks xxx
  13. Hi, Just curious if anyone can provide some help. I've had a rough 2015. I was in the ER with a couple of incidents of low sodium. As some of you might know, Lexapro and other SSRIs contribute to that. I've been on Lexapro for 15 years. I also had a night time drinking problem. My Dr told me to quit Lexapro in June which I did cold turkey. They didn't tell me otherwise. I had dizziness for a month but that's it. I tried it back up on my own in September but quit after a week cause of the symptoms. Then with my Dr's help I quit booze. Forgetting about the issues with low sodium he strongly urged me to go back on it cause I would be stressed from quitting booze. I did and gave it up 12/3/15 cause of the side effects again. I had some withdrawal from being on it for only a week. Anyways, due to incredible anxiety and insomnia for a week straight I went back to Lexapro on 1/1/16. Part of the stress is due to a new job opportunity to start in January if I want it. High stress gig. I was given meds to help with the low sodium issues. My long winded question is this? Was the stress due to withdrawal or a relapse of stress? I don't know which is the answer I want but I'm scared cause I'm not myself and have been in bed for weeks. Christian
  14. Hi all, I need an advise from you. My Story is very stupid in the sence that I didnt well educate myself... I have a visual snow and the doc told me to try Lamotrigin. I did it and wenn up to 225mg with in couple of months from Oct 2018 till Feb 2019. At a higher dosis I started to experiance anxiety. Thats why I started to taper it. During the taper (1 month mid Feb 2019 - Mar 2019) I started with Mirtazapine to Deal with the anxiety. To be honest I thought I would take couple of Mirtazapine half of tablet (7,5mg) only when I get anxiety attack. I got it quite often, so I took it rather randomly. Then I finished my Lamotrigin taper (also didnt take any Mirtazapine after that) in Mar 2019 and thought I am done. And then got hit by a panick atack. I thought it is a lamotrigin withdrawal syndrom and took 15mg Mirtazapine for couple of weeks. Then I thought it is time to get lower and reduced to 7,5mg. I think that all the time a had a withdrawal from lamotrigin, but now I understand that it was Mirtazapine. After 4 weeks of taking 7,5 I went to 0. Two weeks later bam, and I got the full blown withdrawal. I didnt know what happend to me and I also talked to my Psychologist and she told me that I have a Depression and anxiety and that I need the medication. But actually I was doing pretty fine before lamotrigin. So I got scared and I took 7,5mg first day and 15mg next two days. Now I've read on the forum that reinstating from 0mg to 15mg is absolutely wrong... Now I am not sleeping at All, no anxiety, but nö sleep and Vertigo and tremor. Can you advise what I should do now? I think this an emergecy case... I think I've screwed it entirely. Like evry step I did Was wrong. Please help. Maybe I should go to 7,5, since I took 15mg only 3 days... Summary: 15 Oct 2018 - Feb 2019: Lamotrigin up 225 Feb 2019 - Mar 2019: Lamotrigin down to 0 Mid Feb 2109 - mid Mar 2019: Mirtazapine 7,5 1 week mid of Mar 2019: Mirtazapine 0 End of Mar 2019 - 1. Apr: Mirtazapine 15mg 1 Apr - Mid of May: Mirtazapine 7,5 mg Mid of May - end of May: Mirtazapine 0 (Panik) End of May - reinstate 15mg... Best, Tony
  15. I have been on citalopram since 2009 then it stopped working. The Dr put me on citalopram and mirtazapine combination which worked for a while then that stopped working. The Dr then put me on mirtazapine and Venlafaxine 150mg XL combination which workes for a while again ans then stopped working. The Dr put me on amitriptyline 50mg saying thay would be the best drug for me while i took 8 months to slowly remove each bead from Venlafaxine capsule to come off it. As soon as I took my last beed i went into crazy angry depression. The dr increased my dosage of amitriptyline from 50mg to 150mg but the side effects were horrible and at this point i got sick of these meds and decided to quit CT. I had horrible withdrawal symptoms and i started acting like a child and not being able to walk, had balance problems. I reinstated back to 50mg amitriptyline since april 2018 and i have been getting worse. I cannot sleep. My vision is so badly affected that i have grainy vision and floaters have increased dramatically . I see after images and it's as if the lights have been turned off. When i begin to fall asleep, i start to have dreams before i actually fall asleep and my brain keep. Waking up just before i am about to sleep. I cannot follow conversations, I mishear things all the time. I am totally dependant on others and i feel people think i have gone crazy. I don't know what to do i am getting worse and worse. I often trip, lose my balance. I hardly have any short term memory and cannot do simplest of things. I cannot even watch anything on TV as i cannot follow.it I'm having major concentration problems. I don't know how. I'm writing this. I cannot work or drive. Please you have no idea how i am putting these sentences together. I need urgent help. Please advice. I have no energy, no appetite. If I'm posting this in the wrong place, please accept my appology as I can hardly read and understand things. P
  16. Hello, I need some help. I was on mirtazapine for 6 months until october 2017. Did a fast taper from 12mg to 7.5mg, 7.5mg to 3.75 and quit, all in one month taper. After that i started having foot pain and tingling in my feet, worst in my right feet. Also sensation of bugs crawling in my head and severe insomnia. Almost two years and i still have horrible pain in my feet and sensation of bugs crawling in my head with same strenght and frequency. I waited until i posted here because this is not getting better. I dont understand how this is still so strong after almost two years, cant fuction cant work cant nothing, please help.
  17. Muddles

    Muddles: desperate

    Hi there! Need a bit of advice. My father passed away Christmas Eve :-( I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 4 years. Since my father passed I have been experiencing a lot of strange & worrying stuff which I can only explain as withdrawal symptoms from mirtazapine. Depression - severe, insomnia, mind chatter, body buzzing, twitches, jerks of legs/arms, panick attack, anxiety etc. I went to see my doctor as my friends and family are concerned. She wants me to up my dose but am not sure i should do it. Could it make things worse? I feel upping may cause more problems. I felt sooo depressed this morning and slowly withdrawing from everybody...scared! Thanks in advance.
  18. , dying to stay alive from poisoning of klonopin and mirtazapine
  19. My first post here... I have been taking Remeron (Mirtazapine) for 16 years. I tried to come off of it in October, but I weaned too fast and have had problems ever since. I tried to taper off of 15 mg. I ignored my doctor's fast tapering plan and tapered from 15 mg. to 10 mg. The first part of the month was fine, but then a delayed withdrawal hit with horrible symptoms including insomnia. At that point I was only sleeping about 4 hours a night. I reinstated so that I could continue to work... back to 15 mg. In hindsight I realized now I shouldn't have been changing doses so fast. After having reinstated now for about a month, I am still waking up every night in the middle of the night wired! Why??? Could I still be having withdrawal symptoms even after I've been back to my original dose that I was sleeping well on? I want to try to withdraw again, even slower but I don't know how I'll do this if my sleep is already so poor! Thank you!!!
  20. username: BJFM when stopping remeron : withdrawal symptoms: stomach pain, nausea,slow digestion, etc...loose weight don't eat much.( stop remeron 3 wks, take doxepin 1 wk, reinstate remeron) reinstate 3.75. mg remeron + dompéridone 10 days, up dose to 7.5 mg + dompéridone since april 17th. gradual progress, now,no more stomach pain and nausea (still use dompéridone), I think I eat normal but don't understand why still loosing weight, SCARY questions: should I raise remeron or stay on 7,5 mg? While on remeron 2014-2017 never had any kind of digestive problems, can I hope to feel that way again? thank you very nuch
  21. Anyone successfully coming off this medication after 10 years or more? I am planning a slow taper process.
  22. Hi I have been on mirtazapine 15mg for 6 weeks and taking 1.5 clonazepam a day I’m very sedated and was wondering how I can taper the mirtazapine
  23. GirlfromD

    GirlfromD: insomnia

    Hi im new, I will update my storie when I am feeling better than now. At the moment i can't sleep, i fall a sleep in the morning at 7 or 8. the other day i tried to change it by staying awake for 25 hours straight. And i got a little bit of sleep last night. But today im feeling odd, like i haven't slept for 3 days or something, could the insomania return, in that case me staying awake for so long is a total waste of time!? Should i just go with the insomania and sleep when I can not try to force myself into a better sleeping pattern. Please help! And sorry for my English.
  24. I’ve been on mirtazapine for 6 years and venlafaxine for 5 years. I started tapering off mirtazapine last year and stopped completely 5 weeks ago. I’m still experiencing nausea. My GP said it would be a couple of weeks before it went but it’s been longer. Is this normal?
  25. Hi, I started my tapering journey from mirtazapine, which I've taken for almost eight years, on mid January of this year. After reducing to 25% and feeling awful for two days I found on the internet that 10% is what people recommend reducing. Tried a 10% reduction and after two weeks depression and anxiety manifested and went back up to 100% for a day. I'm on a 5% percent reduction and AM very happy to Say that WD symptoms now practically have disappeared. My current challenge is during PMS. Even with taking a full dose, PMS has been challenging. WD symptoms appear (a wave) and I find that taking one 100% dose makes me get back on track. Has anybody dealt with PMS and WD symptoms? I want to thank Altostrata and all the people who collaborate to keep us informed. I'm learning a lot from this forum and hope to keep learning and finding hope for this journey.
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