Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'Remeron'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
    • Relationships and social life
  • Members only
  • Current events
    • Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal
    • Events, actions, controversies
    • In the media
    • From journals and scientific sources

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Found 137 results

  1. Hi all, I am new here and found this site through a FB group. I feel like I need some help or insight because I'm currently lost and feel really hopeless. I tapered too quickly over the course of 5 months off of remeron/mirtazapine, I was on 15mg and got down to 7.5mg but I took a big jump in order to get to 7.5mg. I was crying everyday, vomiting, having two to three anxiety attacks per day, lost my appetite, had headaches, nausea, among other symptoms. I was a complete mess. I decided to reinstate after speaking to my doctor, I've been back on 15mg for three months now and I just feel so numb. No motivation to do anything. The nausea is gone and randomly crying but my nausea and anxiety is still there. It's gotten to the point I haven't left my bed for a week because I feel short of breath and have muscle aches. So after 3 months of being back on 15mg remeron I don't know if I should continue taking it at this dose because I can't go on feeling like this, or if I should try cutting down again? I am scared to cut down due to my fragile mental state of mind right now, but I also want to get better so I don't know if staying on this will help me?
  2. Oldlady123

    Oldlady123: intro

    I have chronic insomnia from histamine intolerance after tapering off Remerom 3 years ago. I also have Chronic Akathisia for 5 years from tapering off Chlonazapam. Drs. can’t help. I’m down to eating mostly meat since plant based food increases histamine. I just stumble through my days still looking for answers. Right now I take tryptophan and Benedryl but it won’t help if I eat something wrong. I have taken anti depressants most of my life but can’t anymore. Weaned off of Cymbalta 6 years ago. Also took Vicodin for years. Now only take Propanolol for blood pressure. Just looking for support now.
  3. Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25+ Years of Use One-year post taper “success story” – http://survivingantidepressants.org Elbee (male) - August 27, 2020 At the time of this success story post, I have passed the one-year mark (15+ months) living drug-free. I am speaking to you from “the other side” of hell to let you know I made it through the nightmare of psychiatric drug withdrawal -- and so can you. I want to start by saying that everyone’s withdrawal from psychiatric drugs is going to differ – no two paths are the same. While there will be commonalities in what we each experience, there will also be differences. I also believe that none of us are uniquely or irreparably “broken,” and that each of us can find a path to living much fuller, healthier lives in greater freedom. To be clear, I had doubts throughout this process . . . believing that somehow, I was MORE “broken,” and that I wouldn’t find my way out of the darkness. But the natural, innate healing power we each possess is profoundly AWESOME, and it quietly, patiently works in the background in each of our lives. . . even if we can’t see it, and even if we don’t trust it. For me, the psychiatric drug withdrawal / tapering process turned out to be an invitation to learn how to live my life differently. It became clear to me in this journey that I could never go back to some idealized place I vaguely imagined myself clinging to . . . I could only move forward to somewhere I had not yet been. I need to be honest: It is still hard to revisit and write about just how painful this drug withdrawal process was. Now that I’m feeling so much better, a part of me wants to forget the whole ordeal . . . as if looking in a rear-view mirror, driving ever-further away. And the reality is that this rear-view mirror perspective is very much real -- I’m SO grateful not to be suffocating in such intense pain anymore! But it is also true I will carry the scars of this experience with me for the rest of my life. It is clear to me now that some of me died through this drug withdrawal process. It is also true that the most precious parts of me came back to life. And I am still healing. I was very much disabled through the most intensive parts of the drug taper. I was on these psych drugs for panic attacks, anxiety, and depression my entire adult life, over 25 years. Additionally, I was drinking alcohol abusively, and relying on multiple pots of coffee and a pack of cigarettes to get me through each day. Even before I had decided to get off the meds, I was utterly exhausted most of the time, barely functional, and unconsciously stumbling through life like a zombie. I knew I had to fundamentally change how I was living. The first step in my detox efforts was to quit alcohol in April of 2014, 30 years after taking my first drink as a kid. Thankfully, I was able to release alcohol from my life relatively easily. Whatever boost alcohol had given me previously was gone, and it was clear to me as a 44 year old man that the devastating hangovers I experienced were getting more difficult. Then, over that following summer and under doctor supervision, I “tapered” entirely off both the Lorazepam and Zoloft that I had been taking for 24 years. I experienced tons of anxiety in the process, but I did it, and after the 4-month ordeal, I thought I was in the clear. Unfortunately, about six weeks after taking my last dose of Zoloft, what I now know to be protracted withdrawal hit, and my life spun into a depth of hell that words cannot describe. Instead of re-instating the same drugs I had been taking, the doctors took me on an 8-month “trial-and-error” roller coaster ride of psychiatric drug experimentation. I finally ended up on higher doses of the drugs I had originally quit, plus Remeron added in for good measure. Through all of this, I landed in a very bad place – exhausted, functionally disabled, unable to work, and unsure what to do next. I had some savings in the bank I could live on for a few years, so I decided to “hole up” to do a new taper, following the much slower tapering protocol of the SurvivingAntidepressants.org website. But my savings were limited, so I used the 10% reduction protocol as a baseline, and pushed the taper as fast as I could without killing myself in the process. I’m not sure I would suggest this approach to anyone else, but in my situation, that’s what I did. Note: I’m going to refrain from listing out all the symptomatic horrors I experienced (there were many) as I write this success story. Here is the link, if you’re interested, to my introductory thread which details my four-year psychiatric drug withdrawal process: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/11862-%E2%98%BC-elbee-25-years-of-meds/ And I want to take a moment here to say how incredibly grateful I am to @Altostrata, @Shep @brassmonkey, @bubble, @apace41, @Gridley, @Rhiannon (her writings), @JanCarol, @KarenB, @ChessieCat, @Petunia, @scallywag and all the folks at SurvivingAntidepressants.org who helped save my life. I also came across Robert Whitaker’s book, Anatomy of an Epidemic around the same time I found this site, and from these resources, I knew I had stumbled into truth. It became clear to me that so much of what the mainstream medical establishment had told me about these drugs, and about my so-called “chemical imbalance,” was false -- I had been lied to. SurvivingAntidepressants.org helped me anchor into this truth and set me on a new course. THANK YOU! With these new resources, I came to understand that getting off the drugs wasn’t just a simple matter of refraining from ingesting chemicals, or even about waiting for those chemicals to dissipate out of my body. I learned that my brain had restructured itself around the presence of the drugs all these years and that by removing the drugs, my brain would have to, very slowly, restructure itself again to a healthy state. The metaphor of a plant (my brain) growing on a trellis (the drugs) for support is so profound to me. How can I expect to abruptly rip out the trellis and think that it won’t damage the plant in devastating ways? This metaphor was such a clear illustration to me of how a neuroplastic human brain builds tolerance, and how we can so easily become entangled in the physiological mechanisms of addiction. And to be very clear, our brains develop tolerance to psychiatric drugs just like they do street drugs, and the mechanics of addiction and withdrawal in each are the same. Gaining this knowledge and allowing it to sink in was probably one of the most important early milestones in my healing process. In preparing for writing this success story, I re-read my entire introductory thread. Several pivotal posts stood out to me as other milestones in my healing process, and while this testimonial might go long, I think it could be useful to touch on some of them . . . In my very first post, I am already talking about the value of meditation. Sitting with myself quietly and focusing on my breath helped me slow down my mind and learn to relax. As I continued with the practice, though, I began experiencing periods of discomfort. I had initially taken the psychiatric drugs to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings, and as I practiced meditating space was again created for those feelings to arise. Learning to slowly sit with and tolerate whatever thoughts and feelings arose began to nullify my need to run away, and therefore, lesson my urge to drug the discomfort. Meditation became a cornerstone of my self-care practice, and self-care is what I ultimately found to replace the drugs. Next milestone -- about a year later, I wrote an entry about a decision I was struggling with on whether to consult with a renowned psychiatrist. A relative was able to get me an appointment for a psychiatric medication evaluation from a “leader in the field” (at the bargain price of $2,000). Looking back, it was then I decided I no longer believed in the efficacy of psychiatric drugs, nor the system that deals in them. I wrote: Next, in the summer of 2016, still early in my tapering and recovery process, I went on a 111-day, 9,000-mile solo road trip across the U.S. In retrospect, I was probably looking for something “out there” that was missing “in here.” I did a four-day vision fast in the wilderness, hiked a 14,000-foot mountain, roamed Death Valley, did a week-long silent meditation retreat, camped under redwoods, hiked numerous National Parks, etc. Was it really a good idea to take this pilgrimage in such a compromised state? I can’t say for sure, but it’s what I did, and I think it cracked through defenses that needed to open. In the Hoh Forest of Olympic National Park in Washington state, I experienced a release of emotions like I had never felt before. It was in that moment I finally realized that releasing stored emotional blockages could ease my anxiety: Another milestone: Upon returning home to Florida later that fall, I dove more deeply into my involvement with the Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACA) 12-Step program. In conjunction with doing EMDR with a skilled, compassionate trauma therapist, ACA helped me crack through layers of protective childhood denial that I had carried into adulthood. Some people advise NOT deliberately digging into the unconscious too much while going through psychiatric drug withdrawal, but my path has been that of heavy digging. I accepted living in a disabled state for a period of time and felt that if I was going to get off these drugs, I needed to address what drove me to take them in the first place. By early summer of 2017, my commitment to this recovery approach had strengthened. Along with addressing the trauma associated with childhood family dysfunction, I opened another door . . . into the shame and terror I experienced hiding as a closeted young gay boy and gay teen. I had initially come out 25 years earlier at age 20 (the same time I started taking the psych drugs), but that was only part of my truth I was hiding. The secrets of my sexual orientation were built upon the secrets of having grown up in family dysfunction: Homophobia turned out to be compounding trauma, and I had been living in a closet within a closet. I had more inner work to do. Perhaps one of my most significant milestones was realizing how important it was for me to take the lead in my healing, and how easily I had deferred to the “expertise of authorities” in my life. By June of 2017, I had navigated my way off the benzos completely, and I recognized the importance of building an internal sense of trust – connecting with my more authentic self to discover a new inner compass. Despite appearing outwardly confident most of my life, inner trust was something I lacked. By allowing myself to fully feel, I had opened to recognizing my own authentic needs, to directly and respectfully communicating my needs, and to setting healthy limits and boundaries. By learning these important skills that I had missed earlier in life, I discovered greater internal trust with myself, and greater discernment in trusting others. By January of 2018, I had another important insight: I more fully recognized I was going through an internal chemical withdrawal process in addition to detoxing from the drugs I was ingesting. Behavioral (or process) compulsions and addictions all have physiological and neurological correlates, and I had been heavily “dosing” throughout my life using my own “internal drug store.” This realization profoundly shifted my perspective on my psychiatric drug withdrawal process, seeing it in a more comprehensive context. A lot of my recovery has involved working with an “inner critic” that had been driving me most of my life, born and sustained from a lack of unconditional love. Ironically, this harshness was so pervasive that I had never consciously known it was there. My inner critic constantly pushed me into the extremes of all-nothing thinking. Again, meditative practices more than anything helped me identify this was going on, and ACA reparenting (inner child work) has allowed me to soften it. By the end of 2018, I started discovering something that had evaded me my whole life – moderation, and a general sense of “OK-ness.” By April 2019, I had found a new pace in life to accompany my new inner compass, and I was nearing the full completion of my psychiatric drug taper. I was one-year benzo-free at this point, and at times, I was overwhelmed with heights of new sensations and emotions. I was feeling things I hadn’t experienced since I was a teenager because I had been drugged my entire adult life. It was overpowering in many ways, but I was so grateful to be “awakening” to a much more fully human life. On April 28, 2019, I was finally free from Zoloft, and my psychiatric drug taper was complete. I had found a way out of the darkness, and I had survived. I couldn’t remember having ever felt so alive. So, while this isn’t my entire recovery story, I’m fulfilling my promise to report back and share my continuing journey with others. Where do things stand today, 15 months after taking a psychiatric drug for the last time ever? No need to panic. I’m not experiencing depersonalization, derealization (DP/DR), or panic attacks in frightening ways. I do still feel what I might call different states of consciousness, but often there is a positive, expansive quality to these experiences. Perhaps some might call this bliss? I haven’t really found ways to talk about it yet clearly, but I don’t experience panic attacks in the ways I used to. I still have fears of them returning, but less so with time. I also get “eerie” feelings now and again, but I have found ways to work with that when it happens, and it doesn’t usually last long. Scariest weirdness has ceased. Most of the “unexplainable” adverse reactions I experienced don’t happen anymore. I would get terrible flu-like symptoms for days at a time . . . hot flashes and chills, body aches, cramps, twitches, headaches, fogginess and disorientation, exhaustion, etc. Sometimes my heart would start racing for no apparent reason, or I would have trouble breathing. I had chronic digestion issues. I had intense agoraphobia, even paranoia at times. I had problems making the simplest decisions. All of this, for the most part, has subsided. Consistent rest. My sleep has changed dramatically, and I’m so grateful. I have struggled with sleep my entire life . . . unable to fall asleep at night and feeling anxious and “hungover” with crippling anxiety each morning. For as long as I can remember, I wanted nothing more than to sleep “normally” from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m. and wake-up feeling well-rested. Today, more times than not, my sleep resembles very much what I used to wish for. I wrote an entry summarizing what I’ve done to address my sleep issues here. Keep gently working with triggers. I still have intense anxiety at times and find myself in hypervigilant states. I’ve come to understand this as a trauma response, and I can usually identify what has triggered me and/or how my inner critic has become activated. I’ve developed self-care routines that help to reduce these reactions, and that help me come out of this state much more quickly and easily. Some old wounds have healed permanently – some things that used to trigger me no longer do. AND I want to emphasize there are days now, thankfully, I live virtually anxiety-free. Self-care (reparenting) is my new drug. I had SO much resistance to doing self-care my whole life (for many reasons I won’t get into here). And by self-care, I don’t mean treating myself to a spa day (though that probably doesn’t hurt). I mean the day-in and day-out routines of physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually tending to myself like I’m the most precious being in the world. Self-care is what got me to where I am today, and it will be the practice of my lifetime. Don’t overdo it. As my life continues to get fuller, I can easily start “checking-out” again. If I stay dissociated for too long, I will pay for it. If I overcommit while on autopilot, I will have adverse reactions when I reconnect with myself. If I try to shortcut too much on the self-care, I will most definitely feel it, and I will struggle. Moving forward, I have to be very careful not to take on too much too quickly, and simply take next best steps. The worst is over. I’ve come to accept that I will never know how much of the excruciating symptoms I experienced these past years were due directly to the psychiatric drug withdrawal, versus how much was due to all the “inner work” I was doing. What I can say is that the symptoms from folks going through psychiatric drug withdrawal and folks doing inner transformative (trauma) work tend to be very much the same. It’s uncanny really, and I can’t explain it. But these two processes seem to very much mirror each other. What I can say is that while there will still be “windows and waves” as my brain keeps healing, and while I still have more “inner work” to do, I’m confident the heaviest lifting for me is done now. Perhaps most indicative of the healing I’ve experienced, I’m feeling well enough now that I’m back in school earning a Master’s in Social Work (MSW) – I’m going to become a therapist. While I’m a bit uneasy stepping towards healthcare systems that betrayed me so deeply, I also feel this is how I can be of most benefit. I’ve come to fully believe that my wounds are intrinsically linked to my gifts, and as I continue to heal my wounds, my gifts will become increasingly available. I’ve been doing volunteer work for some time now, which has helped me to “move back out into the world,” and I hope to transition into paid work soon. I’ve been meeting with people in support capacities, and I envision “coaching” people at some point until I more formally earn my credentials. I plan to be very open about my history with psychiatric drugs, as well as my recovery process. I journaled extensively all throughout my recovery process, and perhaps I will share the “long version” of my story in the future (yes, this is the short version). For now, writing this success story is an important next step in my “coming out.” Thank you for witnessing my healing. Elbee-Success-Story_Free from Zoloft and Benzos After 25 years on them.pdf
  4. if this isn't allowed I"m sorry. I promised a friend I'd try to get her help. She's 84yrs old and doesn't use a computer. she suffered the tragic loss of her husband 3 yrs ago (suicide, he'd had botched surgery that left him in terrible pain and he couldn't take it any longer) She "fell apart" she said, and went into a psych hospital for 2 1/2 mos. While there, she believes she was given meds to help her sleep and possibly started on lexapro, she's not sure. She thought maybe the lexapro was started some time later. In any case, she took lexapro for at least 2 yrs For some reason, her PCP (who has been prescribing the lexapro) switched her to remeron. She was going thru a hard time with a BF who was stalking her, damaging her car, etc. So it's possible she told her dr that the lexapro wasn't helping. So she was switched to mirtazapine/remeron. it's now Approx 2 mos after being off the lexapro and she's waking up with horrible anxiety attacks as well as severe GI symptoms. She's also dizzy and feels weak , hot and sweaty. She went to the ER and was tested for everything under the sun, nothing wrong. She was started on lorazapam/ativan at 0.5mgs once a day. her PCP has rather quickly upped that dose to 0.5mgs three times a day to now 1mg three times a day and she's been told not to drive which is not going to happen. She refuses to stay home and doesn't understand that the drug that an impair her ability to drive is also the drug that can make her unaware of her impairment (although I think I was able to get that thru to her by comparing it to being drunk) this 84 yr old woman has been active her entire life, kayaking hiking, etc etc, she would not just stay home. she's waking up with more and more anxiety every day and more GI symptoms, including a burning feeling in her stomach and nausea My feeling is that she's going thru lexapro withdrawal (delayed) she takes the remeron at night and she says it helps her to sleep but she's quickly gotten very fond of the ativan. I've warned her about addiction and tolerance and told her she needs to take the warnings about driving very seriously. she's at an age where she believes that only a dr knows best, so it's very hard for me to give her advice. Plus I don't want to cause her any harm she wants me to go with her to see a psychiatrist or other prescribing dr. I don't know that I'd be much good with that, since I HATE these drs so much for what they did to me (over 40yrs on psych drugs, given nearly every mental illness lable, etc etc) Is there anything I can do for her? My feeling was that a tiny dose of lexapro might convince her that her anxiety and GI upset are WD from the CT of lexapro... but I don't know if that would work now that she's got the other drugs in her system........?? what would be her best course of action? she does not want to be on these drugs but she's not been offered therapy!! she wants to go inpatient because she's recently lost her volunteer job and her BF and is lonely and needs things to do. I doubt they'll agree to admit her for that, but she may realize that her anxiety issues might be enough to get her admitted for a short while since she has good insurance I told her that they are likely going to keep her on meds and maybe increase them. They don't know how to get ppl off them. any suggestions welcomed. I'm so upset that she's going thru this. these damn drs dole these drugs out like candy, it makes me sick
  5. Hello everyone. I'm CF. Been of psychiatric medication for 4 years, when I was a teen - due to depression and eating disorders. After switching many drugs, by August 2019 (discharged from last hospitalization) I was taking: 100*2mg Lamotrigine, 20*2mg Clotiapine, 25mg Promethazine, 400mg Seroquel XR, 60mg Mirtazapine. In the past: Lustal, Lorivan, Clonazepam & more I don't have documentation of. As of today, I take 100*2mg Lamictal, 400mg Seroquel XR and 45mg Mirtazapine. I am interested in lowering all of those, currently very interested in lowering Seroquel... I was never psychotic or manic. I was given Seroquel, Clotiapine and Promethazine because I was agitated and would self harm constantly. These medications did not change my situation; ECT improved my situation for a month, than went away. Therapy in last year helped a lot. -- My withdrawal history: - Prozac: 20mg (1y) -> 30mg (short) -> 60mg (1y) -> 30mg (1d) -> 0. Side effects: Unknown. Withdrawal: I had no adverse reaction at all, the day I lowered to 30mg I was given Remeron and started having tics. - Clotiapine: 10*3mg (?m) -> 20*3 (4d) -> 20*2 (6m) -> 20mg (2w) -> 0. Side effects: sleepiness (on 20*3). Withdrawal: No symptoms, more energy. - Promethazine: 25mg (6m) -> 0. Side effects: helped with allergies. Withdrawal: no symptoms, allergies still way better than before Promethazine😉 - Lamotrigine: 100mg (?) -> 100*2mg (3m) -> tampering to 0 in 2-3 weeks -> 100*mg (1.6y) Side effects: dry mouth. Withdrawal: Can not recall due to ECT treatment. I believe there were none but not 100% sure. - Mirtazapine: 45mg (1d) -> 60mg (10m) -> 45 (1m). Side effects: 60mg: tics (2h after administration, went away by next morning), sleepiness. The first day I was given Remeron I had tics and couldn't sleep, until I was given a sedative. Became better in the next week. 45mg: sleepiness. Withdrawal: Went from 60mg to 45mg in 1 day. Immediately stopped getting tics, sleep about 1.5h less than on 60mg (7.5h/night now). - Seroquel/Seroquel XR: 20mg (?) - 200mgXR + 20mg (?) -> 300mgXR (2y) -> 400mgXR (2y). Side effects: major weight gain, sleepiness. Withdrawal: not exactly withdrawal, but when I skip a night I have insomnia (2-3h sleep max), and when I skipped two doses - next day was almost normal (5-6h) with no side effects. Slightly sensitive/agitated on day 1 (lack of sleep?). I stopped taking Promethazine and Clotiapine in October-December 2019, Mirtazapine 60->45mg - since March 2020. These are the ones I can remember. I was given other medication before but I can not recall anything. -- My current situation is, my Psychiatrist refuses to let me try and reduce Seroquel XR because of COVID situation. I take XR is cutting it myself is not an option. Don't know what to do, I want to stop taking it, more time = worse withdrawal. I stopped taking 60mg Prozac with no issues (SERT, NET inhibition), Entumine (can not find mechanism of action), Promethazine (D2 and H1). I never had any issues with using brand VS generic. -- I interchangeably use: Lamictal & Lamotrigine; Clotiapine & Entumin/Etumin; Mirtazapine & Remeron.
  6. ResilienceandHope

    ResilienceandHope: finished benzos ... now on to ADs

    Hello, I have successfully tapered off Valium, Prozac, and Remeron. I was doing relatively well until my seasonal allergies hit last week. I didn't even think about it, and took Allegra, as I have done for 20 years. Well, I had a paradoxical reaction and feel like I'm in the middle of withdrawal all over again. I have panic, racing heart, extreme anxiety, sound sensitivity, tight band around my head. I also have a burning sensation in my ear canals and ear fullness. Any suggestions for what to do? I can't deal with this again when I thought I was healing.
  7. Hi Everyone . New member here and in need of advice if possible . I've been taking mirtazipine for just over 7 weeks for sleep issues which caused me anxiety. My doctor subscribed me sertaline which only after 3 dosed send me to extreme anxiety and took my anxiety from 3 too 100 . When back to my GP and he subscribed me mirtazipine 15mg ...I was on it for 4 weeks and although it helped a little with sleep ...didn't knocked me out all night like most and as I didn't feel any improvement as was feeling very groggy , brain fog etc...my GP advised to increase to 30mg which I've been on just over 3 weeks . I definitely don't think it's helping at all and I'm feeling pretty the side effects and half of the time I feel like a zombie ...sorry for the long post but my question would be how should I tamper of this medication as I was to get out of this medication. Do I need to tamper slowly even if I only took this medication for 7 weeks ? I would realy realy appreciate and information regarding this matter as I'm new antidepressants. Many thanks in advance
  8. leavingorganon

    leavingorganon

    Hello all. I've been on various meds since 2005 when I was 21. I was put on Remeron because of what I now see as situational anxiety due to then-undiagnosed ADHD. I think it's time for me to leave this state and move ahead. The trigger for this desire is a recent cognitive assessment I did where I found out that things that were once easy for me intellectually are now harder, which is especially concerning for someone who's always been over-achieving and has "being smart" as an integral part of their identity. My short term memory is really bad with all of those medications, and what drove me towards doing the assessment is struggles at work that have been going on for the last three years. Though the assessment was the acute trigger, there are larger themes at play that made me really struggle the last few years. My sense of self is vague and undefined. I used to be much sharper and brighter, passionate, and awake; qualities that I feel are lost under the haze of artificial neurotransmitter modulation. I'm at an impasse that simply can't be overcome by adding a new med every few months (believe me, I tried). I feel like I'm half the person I used to be at work and at life. I crave authenticity and clarity rather than an artificial sense of (over)confidence. Despite all of that, I really feel some gratitude for the journey. I did a lot in these 15 years in spite of/because of (can't tell at this stage honestly) these meds, including getting two master's degrees and meeting really wonderful people throughout. I try to avoid an attitude of being anti psych meds as they are really helpful in some life situations. I actually don't plan on going off the ADHD med I'm currently on, and I'm even open to the idea of being on an anti-depressant in the future if needs be and I can tolerate it. I recently gave stopping Remeron a try (jumped from 3.5mg dose or thereabouts, wasn't doing accurate cutting and weighing back then), and was actually doing fine (the most salient withdrawal symptom was itchiness, which is honestly fine). This went on until sometime in the second week when the usual acute withdrawal symptoms came at me (akathisia, insomnia, nausea, etc). Before that, I experienced a lovely sense of lucidity and intellectual playfulness that made me feel 20 again. I had the loveliest conversation with my best friend, without the recent robotic disinterest that these meds seem to cause me. I decided afterwards to reinstate, get off the other problematic meds I was on first (Klonopin and Latuda), regroup, then tackle the Remeron gently. For the last few months, I've been collecting stories of people who successfully overcame this mess as well as quotes from the Baylissa's book. I've also been training my faith, acceptance, and non-resistance/non-anticipation muscles. I am currently reading Hope and Help for Your Nerves, and determined to come up with a plan with my therapist to stock up on coping skills. This endeavor is, in essence, part of a greater desire to live a life that is built around my abilities (whatever those may be after I'm done with my tapering) and interests, instead of hysterically and aggressively going after situations that are overly ambitious but ultimately destructive for me. This, to me, is the reason I went on and continued to be lulled by these meds for a decade and a half. I really don't care about material ambitions at this point; I just want a pleasant and meaningful life. I've successfully got off Klonopin after a year of (low-dosage, 0.125mg every two or three nights) last month. I've also got off Latuda this week and I'm doing generally well. I do realize that I'm still not completely clear off of these meds, so my plan is to resume my tapering etc. after some weeks. When I started, my goals were as follows: 1. Stop benzodiazepines (DONE) 2. Overcome polypharmacy 3. Stop Remeron The order of 2 and 3 doesn't matter to me, though I'm currently leaning towards stopping Remeron first as I've been on it the longest and maybe staying on Brintellix while getting off of it can lessen the withdrawal symptoms. So yeah, this is my introduction post. Thank you for reading.
  9. Hi there, I'm getting ready for a future reduction in Mirtazapine. It won't be any time soon (I need to get stable first) but am just wondering how I will go about this. I live in NZ and Mirtazapine only comes in the form of tablets (i.e not liquid or capsules with beads). I have 2 options... getting a compounding pharmacy to make up capsules (very expensive), or getting some gemini scales and shaving the tablets. All the info I can find on here is about taking beads out of capsules (which isn't possible with a compacted tablet). Is the shaving off and weighing on a gemini scale an option? And the pink coating that is on the tablet... is this part of the active ingredient too?
  10. Kornyboyo1917

    Kornyboyo1917: Remeron 15mg

    Hello, I was put on remeron 1.5 months ago after being hospitalized for severe benzo withdrawal. I have been off benzos for 9 months after a rapid taper. My symptoms are horrific and 24/7. - Racing thoughts/ruminations - Ear-worms (things I watch/read and conversations repeat over and over all day long) - Racing negative thoughts - Intrusive thoughts/memories - Loud inner critic/voice - Sensorimotor Hyperawareness OCD (thinking/thoughts and occasionally other themes) The remeron seemed to help with the pacing akatheisa and terror but did nothing else for my mental symptoms. I started at 7.5 for a week or so and then went up to 15mg. At 15 I got his with depression. Went up to 22.5 for a few days but couldn't handle the anxiety and fear it triggered so went down to 15mg. I don't want to be on remeron anymore because It's interfering with my benzo recovery but my mind is tormenting me on how to come off of it. I don't know much about tapering and what would be the best thing for me since I'm already in benzo withdrawal. I think its making the OCD worse (compulsive researching, chain smoking). The problem is i'm not going to know if I am having new symptoms from discontinuing the remeron or if it was masking some of the benzo withdrawal and it's coming back. Unless i develop new symptoms like DP/DR (which i don't have). I am looking for advice on a taper. I know my situation is different but any help would be appreciated. Thanks
  11. So I have been a member of this cite since i started my taper in May of 2018. Almost 6 years ago (age 18) I went into a deep depression from panic attacks that were induced by weed. The anxiety from that was so unbearable. I was in fear of everything. felt like i lost control of my body and my mind! Hid under my covers praying that it would all end. A year into not being functional, dropping out of college, and having suicidal thoughts I got placed on an SSRI along with Xanax (as needed). At the age of 19 I was on medication for my anxiety and got sober after getting out of a treatment center (forced upon my parents since i didn't stop smoking pot and drinking). I remember trying so my medications, a lot of them not on my signature because i forgot or got off of them easily with a switch to another medication. It started with one SSRI! then i started to have side effects. the main side effect was low sex drive, ED, and no orgasms. I couldnt have that being a young adult male. NO THANK YOU. so my psych added Remeron to the mix. Dont know why? probably because it has less sexual side effects, and was good for sleep. Remeron, though came with a handful of side effects too. GREAT! started with crazy tiredness. I remember starting this stuff and sleeping 16 hrs a day because i was so knocked out. I also couldnt stop eating carbs and sweets. I little felt like i was high with the munchies without the paranoia of being high. Kind of awesome until the weight gain started to come into play. Im a Fitness Trainer and very cautious with my weight and what i put into my mouth. So i started to really hate that all i was eating were sweets an hr before bed, felt sugar hangover and literally couldnt stop munching!!! The only thing I loved about Remeron was it put me to sleep fast. SO after I have been on Lexapro and Remeron, my psych added Wellbutrin to counteract the side effects of Remeron. Great... So now, somehow i went from 1 to now being on 3, WTF? I stayed on this combination of meds for a couple of months until I said "I quit, i dont want to do this anymore". What really turned my opinion, a couple of things that came into my life that opened my mind to new possibilities: #1 I told myself I live to much of a healthy lifestyle to be on all these meds. I workout everyday, I eat extremely healthy with a side of fun, I'm sober, etc. #2 I started to read literature about SSRI and psych meds. (Dr. Joe Dispenza's You are the placebo , MAD in America Anatomy of an Epidemic, Lost Connections) This really got my motivated to look at my life and see what action i could take. I didnt want to become dependent on medication for the rest of my life, I wanted to at least try to come off of this stuff. #3 And this PAGE!!!! Reading a lot of people's success stories and seeing what people were going through, I could relate. On May 20th 2018, I started my taper. my plan was to go the 10% taper a month, alternating between each medication. because I wanted to equally reduce all three as i went through my taper instead of doing one drug at a time, (Dont know if that was the best decision but it has worked so far) The taper has gone pretty well, Im actually impressed and proud of myself for taking this journey and getting through the problems with tapering so far. I have had all the WDnormal symptoms. some of them manage others not quite so much. I think some of my worse symptoms have been the psyhological symptoms. I was in relationship before the start of my taper, I was so sick of not being able to perform in bed that i decided to taper. Well during my taper my emotions have been all over the place! have you had this problem? It scares me so much, i scared im bipolar or crazy, i just try to keep telling myself its the taper. I had to end that relationship, the stress of the relationship was hurting me. I have thoughts to this day about what if i just stayed on the medication? and dealt with the side effects, could the emotions have not gotten so out of control for me to break up with her? Who knows, All i know is that this is something that i need to do for ME and my life (To try and come off of these medications). So its September 21st 2019, and im now on: Lexapro 2.2mg (started 10mg) Remeron 9mg (started 22.5mg) Wellbutrin SR 0mg (started 250mg) Im taking a break from tapering at the moment, because honestly im overwhelmed with the taper and im in fear that my panic is coming back because i have had a couple of small panic attacks that have hit. Im praying that its just the medication adjusting, and not my passed coming to haunt me again. Its very concerning!!! Would love to hear if you have had thoughts of this? I will say that though even so the anxiety and panic has been a little high, i also have had great moments of clarity and connection, sometimes tears or joy. Also I feel like im digging up emotions that were trapped when the medication was numbing me. Crying a lot, don't really care if its bad or not, just lots of emotions. I so badly do not want to be depressed, or have anxiety. But i guess those are natural things in life that we all go through and need to combat. This forum has helped me alot more times when i'm down and hopeless and scared that i won't be able to live a drug free life. I'm scared, I know God is telling me to be strong and show bravery, and Im doing but its just hard guys, do you ever feel like this? My next step: is to stay stabilized on the above dosages for a couple of months and see if my symptoms stay the same or get a little better hopefully. All the reasons i had for wanting to get off the medication (Sexual dysfunction, numbness, weight, excessive eating, to tired, lack of emotion, unempathetic) those have all really gone down as i have lowered the dosages, Which is a really good thing! Im grateful for that! So there is no rush to get off these medications at the moment, i dont want to be not functional, because i was there 6 years ago and it was the worst place to be. Thank you for taking the time to read my intro! I hope i get some positive words from you guys right now because honestly i need hope . Thank you i Dont even know you put i feel you and i can say i love you guys, i see, i hear, i feel your struggles, but i also see feel and hear all your little wins! Keep it up! One day ill be a success story.
  12. helpless

    helpless: 15 mg Mirtazapine

    Hello Its now about 4 years since i stopped taking remeron 15 mg i was on it for 6 months Lools like im permanently damaged, i feel like im mentally retarded, i never again had sleep like in the past, its like i was removed from this planet, my eyes are blank and my mind my emotions gone my personality my love and everthing else, im an empty shell I dont care about anything anymore, i spent money without thinking, no need for social contacts, i cant even enjoy having sex anymore I do not longer have my inner monolouge with myself so i cant function if i dont hear my thoughts Writting this was hard, concentration is gone It looks like chemical lobotomy
  13. Hi all, First off--I am sooooo grateful for this website and forum. Thank you to whoever thought of creating this site and brought it into reality however many years ago! I've been on a very low does of Mirtazapine/Remeron--I take an 1/8th of a 7.5mg pill (so about 0.9mg)--for over a year. Prior to that, I was on anywhere from 1.87mg (quarter tablet) to 3.5mg (half a tablet) for about 4 years. I started taking it when I was going to school and working full-time and I was getting approximately 4 hours a sleep a night. I am very grateful that it cured my insomnia 5 years ago, but now I'm sleeping fine and life is good and I think that it's time to get off of it. When I tried stopping two weeks ago, I thought that I would be alright--I've read a lot of people's experiences through this site, and I realize that I'm taking an extremely small dose compared to others. The trouble--I'm assuming--is that I've been taking it for so long that my brain has adjusted and become dependent on this small amount. Currently, I have no trouble falling asleep and I've been exercising a lot to try and make sure that i'm tired, at the end of the day but I just can't for the life of me stay asleep for longer than 4 hours! It's been about two weeks of receiving very little sleep and I'm wondering what else I can do to ween myself further off this drug. For my sanity, I think that I'll go back on my little dose for now. What do you think my next step should be? I'm already using a razor blade and cutting the pill into pretty much as small of a bit as I can. I've looked at getting a scale, but would a .001 g scale show amounts that are less than 1mg? At this point, I would need something that allows me to go from 0.9 mg to 0.7mg. Thank you in advance for any help or advice that you can offer!
  14. Wow! First of all I would like to say how relieved I was to have found this forum. For the years I've been struggling with this I have gotten so tired of other people (including doctors and therapists!) telling me that what I've experienced isn't possible and that I'm either making it all up or still sick. Everything started in my junior year of college. I had struggled with varying levels of depression and anxiety for most of my life, even resorting to SI when I was younger, but had finally hit a point where I thought that I needed some professional help. Looking back, I'm sure that the sudden drop was situational as much as anything. Most of my friends had moved away or graduated, my family was going through some money trouble, and I was working more hours to be able to be more self-sufficient. I started to become more withdrawn and my academics started to drop. I was an A and B student so this was very stressful to me. Thinking I was being proactive and doing the right thing, I went to my school's counseling center who then referred me to the campus clinic. The psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Prozac (20mg). About two weeks later I was hit with the worse anxiety I had ever had. I barely left my house unless I had to for class or work, would start shaking at random times, and had near constant chest pain. I tried to wait it out but eventually gave up and went back. She switched me to lexapro(20mg). This seemed to do the trick so I stayed on it though the end of the semester and over the summer. Unfortunately, when I started back up at school I started to struggle again. I'd tried to make positive changes in my life: made some new friends, got in contact with old ones, and started trying to date. Then, as it happens all too often in college, the guy I was seeing got me drunk and took advantage. This led to me having a bit of a breakdown and my friends urged me to go to the hospital. While there they switched me to zoloft(50mg), remeron(15mg), and lorazapam(2mg as needed). This is where things start to get really wonky. At first I thought it was helping but about a month after I got out of the hospital I started having these intense intrusive self-harm thoughts. Violent and strong enough to scare me. I had a medication review and those three were dropped and I was put on WellbutrinXL(150mg). Again things were better for a little while but about a month later started to go south. The intrusive thoughts were back and I had started to feel very unlike myself. Impulsive and disconnected. I later learned that this was probably a kind of dissociation. One night all of the stress and darkness got to me and I impulsively decided to chase the rest of my pills with half a bottle of vodka. It was strange because I wasn't trying to kill myself, the mindset was more: "I wonder what this will do. It can't be worse that what I'm already feeling." It didn't feel real, like it was happening to someone else. That put me back in the hospital where I then dropped out of college and moved back in with my parents. I had to be on a wait list but eventually I started seeing a new psychiatrist who decided to diagnose me with Bipolar based on the impulsiveness and out of character behavior I had while taking Wellbutrin. She called it agitated depression or mixed mania. At the time I believed her. I was scared, desperate, and seriously doubting my sanity, and I felt like I couldn't trust myself. She started out by prescribing me Abilify(15mg) and Effexor (75mg). This was my second nightmare. A few days later I started having akathisia and had similar feelings of impulsiveness and feeling out of control. When I told my doctor she urged me to wait it out which led to me relapsing into SI for the first time in over 6 years to cope. That combination was obviously stopped and I had the most physical withdrawal symptoms that I had so far. I couldn't leave my bed for two days I was so nauseous and dizzy. I feel like I should point out at this point that I was on most of these medications for max of a few months and didn't taper at all. Cold turkey then right on to another. Next on the list was Latuda(40mg - 60mg). My insurance ended up not really covering that one so what I ended up on as my final medication was Lithium. This was a blessing in a way because it didn't really do anything, which turns out, is what I needed. At one point I was up to 1600mg a day to control my "symptoms" which I'm now convinced was almost entirely side effects mixed with withdrawal. That dose completely destroyed my short term memory. After finally stabilizing, I had gone back to school and this was making classwork almost impossible, so after much debating the dosage was stepped down to 800mg. Finally, in the summer of 2017, I took a summer job working at a research station in the forest. After a lot of solo time hiking in nature I had an epiphany. This was the best I had felt in years and that all of my serious problems started after I sought "help." When I got back to see my doctor I told her my plan to stop taking medication. She was extremely judgemental and basically told me I'd be back when I had a relapse and just told me to tapper off with the what I had left (about a weeks worth). I'm very happy to say that she was wrong. All I've done since then is get better. I still struggle with some depression and anxiety but if that is the trade off I will gladly live with that. After a year and a half of being free of psychiatric drugs I'm surprised at the difference. On medication I was dissociating, having panic attacks, paranoia, and suicidal ideation. I felt like a complete basket case. It's terrifying to me how easy it is to get stuck in a downward spiral like that. Not ONE of the doctors or therapists that I'd seen even considered that the medication could be what was causing me to get worse and worse. They just saw worsening "symptoms" that they had to "get ahead of" and I believed it too. Now, even that the worst is over, the experience still haunts me. I feel so guilty about the way that I behaved and I have no idea how much was my fault versus the medication. I know that it was a factor but I remember making the decisions to hurt myself and destroy my life and I'm not really sure how to live with that. I have nightmares where I'm back in the worst of it feeling like I'm slowly losing my mind and I have permanent scars from the SI. I saw a new primary care doctor recently and the first thing she tried to do was get me back on mood stabilizers after seeing "bipolar" on my chart. I don't know how to get that removed or if I even can. The only people who believe me are my friends and family who saw me go from a somewhat stressed young adult to nonfunctional almost overnight. I know that this hasn't ruined my life... but it certainly feels like it sometimes. I'm sorry that anyone else had to go through this hell but I'm so, so glad that I'm not alone in this. Even now I'm not sure that I'm completely recovered. I guess time will tell.
  15. After 15 years on 7.5mgs of Remeron I decided to taper off on April 1, 2019. I cut in half to 3.75 mgs for 25 days. Then I stopped taking it since April 25th. About a week later I started itching and having all kinds of skin burning symptoms. After 5 days of this I realized that I might be having withdrawal symptoms. I just reinstated at 7.5mgs two days ago but am having all kinds of spaciness and discomfort. I know it will take about a week for my blood levels of Remeron to stabilize and hope this stops the withdrawal. I now realize that I should have tapered very slowly and just did not realize how strong even my low dose of 7.5mgs could be. I was totally stable until a week ago so I hope that I caught this quickly enough. So my history is: 7.5mgs Remeron for 15 years....very stable and no issues. Cut to 3.75mgs Remeron for 25 days. Stopped completely for 7 days before any withdrawal symptoms started on May 2nd, 2019 Reinstated 7.5 mgs on day 12 of cold turkey on May 7th, 2019 Itching symptoms have stopped almost completely after 2 days of reinstating but having spaciness and general body discomfort and edginess. My thought is to stabilize and wait a few months before tapering again at no more than 10% per month as recommended. Any advise would be much appreciated. I hope I am doing this right to stabilize? Thanks!
  16. Admin note: link to benzo forum thread - mikeyboy: Help with Zoplicone taper I've been trying to come off Mirtazapine, which I have been taking for 12 years, for 15 months now. I gradually reduced my dose from 15mg and then started tapering properly by 10% from 3mg 6 months ago. I got down to 1.8 mg and last week my doctor said I could just stop as it is not a therapeutic dose, which I did. I feel ok, sleep is a bit more disturbed, but I'm worried this may not have been a low enough dose to stop at. If so, what is?
  17. *Symptoms are in BOLD font, the other things are just my story. I have quit Remeron since 64 days now (quit it abruptly), i am not so sure if these symptoms i am facing are due to my withdrawal. and i really need help with that! so if you think these symptoms are familiar please let me know. my life is a nightmare right now, and only yesterday i realized that this craziness that i am living in is maybe because of the medication. i used to fight my ego for (as i thought it was the reason for all of this) i thought that i was over demanding and needy. but no man, i can't be demanding these very basic things that are absolutely have no link with consumption. i am a very thoughtful guy, a bookish person, very honest with myself, i don't just blame something for being the reason of my shity life. but now my concentration is zero, like a maniac anything that is moving around me grabs my concentration immediately. i used to be very chill and calm ( i am still for everybody else, but from the inside it's just torture) but at this stage, i am pretty confident that this is just not normal. my symptoms are as follow: I have had an emotional shock before quieting, it made me less concentrated, and at that stage remeron was not doing a good job as it used to be. i made a trip for 1 month and i quit it during that trip. after i got back, things started to get so bad. i am literally fearful of light, i just turn off the lights and sleep by myself wishing that no body would come in. fearful of my own family, meeting someone by chance. it's not like normal fear, it's just my heart starts beating so fast that i am paralyzed and can't do anything. i am absolutely disconnected from reality, i don't have any logical thinking (i find it hard to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong), ideas cannot be linked together in anyway. i would be thinking about something and an another totally different idea just swipe me with it (like a hallucination, it grabs my attention and just hold on it) - severe depression (even though the feeling of depression is not a problem anymore comparing it to these other things), i am totally fine with depression, but not having a sense of reality is just something that i don't think anyone could handle, i just can't think because my mind keeps jumping with other useless stuff. i think i have a digestive problems, dry mouth, cramps (especially when i sleep). - social anxiety, with the same type of fear. - raceful and self harm thoughts , suicidal thoughts - sometimes hallucinations (i see dark objects on the floor, that do not exist) - excessive sexual desire - stiff muscles all the time, even when i wake up i feel tired as if i was running or smth (i forgot what the concept "relaxation" even means) - i have a problem waking up in the morning, with a very very bad depression (i hated the sun (light) for this reason). are these a symptoms of withdrawing? or am i having a rough days? and if it is, for how long would it take? is it better to keep going cold turkey? (i don't have any problem with it, i can handle it) but i don't know does it have any dangerous results (medically speaking)? Thank you ❤️
  18. Hi everyone, I’ve been on a mess of medications since I was prescribed propranolol for panic attacks last November, stopped them and was put on Sertaline, couldn’t tolerate it so stopped after two weeks, then Prozac with the same results plus tinnitus! Eventually began with Mirtazepine 6 weeks ago, and after initially feeling ok I really want to get off them, I feel very unlike myself and it’s horrible. I get some days or hours where everything seems completely normal, but mostly it’s making my anxiety worse. Any advice on tapering would be greatly appreciated.
  19. I want to get off Saphris. I was taking 2.5 mg and tried to taper it down over the course of four months, went with three-quarter to one half to one quarter. Became suicidal and so anxious that I almost had several panic attacks. Was manic, and I'm not bipolar. Felt pressure to do things, mostly react with extreme emotions. Went back up to one. Now want to taper down and desperately want to get off of this hellish drug. I also take lamictal (300 mg), Viibryd (40 mg), and Mirtazipine (7.5 mg). I want off of all of them and am horrified at how long it is going to take me. I so want to hurry my taper. I also just quit drinking, after tapering down on alcohol over the course of a week. I've been an alcoholic for years. I am now, today, two days sober. I am going to remain sober. My diagnosis is Depression and Generalized Anxiety disorder. One thing I've noticed is that I have so much rage over the doctors who put me on all of these meds - they just kept shoving more and more meds at me, and never told me about the scary side effects. I want to sue one in particular. The other thing I've noted is that I just hate myself for letting them put me on the meds. My mother said, when she learned of all that I am on: You dropped the ball! She was horrified, and rightly so. I am horrified at myself. Like I said, I hate myself for letting this happen. So mad for ruining my life. So there's this rage and horror at the doctor and at myself. There is also this manic anxiety and decision making problems for myself, problems that I worsen by my anxious reactions. I've been back on a whole dose for a while, but every few days I get scared, and try to take only 75% of a dose. It's not really working out for me. For the last two days, I have felt very suicidal. It's nuts. This is not me. I don't know what to do. That's why I've come here. I am desperate, and very, very afraid. I hope that I've done this intro thread right...
  20. Hello Im new here. Thank you for taking time to read this if you are. :) I have been on Mirt for only 12 days at 15 mg. Im looking to come off due to side effects, its just not suited for me. I was going to do 11.25 for 4 days, 7.5 for 4 days, 3.75 for 4 days, then off. Is that too quickly? I thought not since I have only been on it for 12 days at 15 mg. I appreciate everyones input and advice! :)
  21. LLiz's introduction topic is here: ☼-lliz-still-not-able-to-jump-off-mirtazapine An update: Ok, it's hard to say whether I am completely symptom-free yet. I have had several other major and long-lasting health problems this last year which have caused pain, disability, sleep disturbances, and fatigue. One of the harder adjustments has been continuing again with technical learning and studying. But this has been influenced by my trouble believing that I can actually think and remember again after some of the extreme difficulties I had during my withdrawal. The fair amount of interrupted sleep and disability due to my other health issues hasn't helped. And the withdrawal lasted so long that I have needed to do a lot of reviewing to get up to speed again, which seemed like cognitive dysfunction at first to my low-confidence feelings, but wasn't really. One thing is definitely true: I don't think of myself as being in withdrawal anymore. All the best to the many of you who are struggling so much yet!
  22. Hello: I am here after a person on another forum (BenzoBuddies) alerted me to the existence of this one when I queried if anyone there had experience with tapering/eliminating Aripiprazole (Abilify). I am currently working on titrating down from the Clonazepam I have been taking. I have hopes of eliminating all the medications listed in my signature, in time. Once I have eliminated the Clonazepam, I would next like to work on the aripiprazole, then the Mirtazapine. I have only very occasionally used the alprazolam. So, I do not see that as a real hurdle. There is an erroneous date listed in my signature. It should be 2012. If someone could guide me in editing it, I would sure appreciate it. It was kind of a mystery just to create it. I hope to find some useful information and encouragement here. I did a big drop of the Clonazepam (50%) on September 19, as instructed by my doctor. Withdrawal symptoms were uncomfortable, but not terrible. Days 1-3 met me with needing a bit more time falling asleep. Days 15-21 met me with some irritability, headache (most days), one night of insomnia, a few days of mild depression and some free-floating anxiety. Day 22 and onward, the aforementioned symptoms were gone and I was feeling better than what was my normal self. I am glad for this. After reading a lot of information (Professor Ashton's manual & on the BenzoBuddies forum), I decided to continue with reducing the Clonazepam at a rate of 25% every 14 days. Yes, I know it is more than recommended (5-10%), but I believe I am capable of proceeding at this rate and take comfort in the fact that I can always adjust my dosing, if needed. My dose tonight will be ~.4700. When I began taking the medications (in 2001), I was diagnosed with PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder (without psychotic symptoms). I did spend some time in a psychiatric hospital (~3.5 weeks), during which time several different medications were tried/thrown at me. I don't remember all of them (prozac & paxil, are two that were tried...). I did not take any but the Clonazepam longer than a few days/weeks. Oh, except lamictal. I took that for about 6 months (in 2001). Almost forgot about that one. A couple other antidepressants were tried just before I began taking the Mirtazapine in 2010: Effexor, Celexa and Trazadone. They all made me feel loopy, so I rejected them. Sleep is what I needed and the Mirtazapine helped to deliver that. The Abilify was a depression add-on which did seem to give me an overall improved affect/mood. Since 2001, I have remained steadfastly committed to and deeply engaged in an in-depth therapeutic relationship (with a couple practitioners). As a result, I have achieved a complete psychological, emotional and spiritual make-over. Over the course of the past couple years, I have questioned if I really have a need to continue taking the medications, for I simply am not the same person I was 17 years, 10 years, 5 years or even 1 year ago. It is my deep hope and desire that I will eliminate the medications. It will be very nice to see who I am today, without the medications. That's my history, in a nutshell. Cleerity
  23. Hello. I had a few panic attacks because I was worried about my headaches. A Neurologist prescribed 15mg mirtazapine for anxiety and headaches. Which I took for two weeks, wasn’t helping much, just made me feel tired, more anxious and had dearealization. Dr. Said it’s okay to stop so I CT’d for 5 days. W/D were rough (shaking, might sweats, insomnia, nausea, lost 8 lbs in 5 days, severe heart palpitations) so I reinstated 15mg for 2 days then 7.5mg for 3 weeks then 3.75mg for 5 days then 1.875 for 1 day then jumped because I was feeling fine. Two days later, full blown W/D suffering bad. I then reinstated to 3.75mg and since then each day has been getting worse with brain issues, can’t think, head fog, scared, paranoid, shaking. Can anyone help me? It has been 2 weeks since I reinstated. Every day seems to be getting worse. I am scared of everything, everything triggers me, I feel as if I am sensitized. It’s hard to write this. 
  24. I am trying to taper off 7.5mg of Remeron (Mirtazapine). I want to use the titration method since my CNS is so sensitized at this point.
  25. Hi everyone, I am looking to restart cymbalta and hopefully get myself back to a stable place. I would love input. My doctor (psychiatrist) seems to think I could start with my previous dosage of 20mg, but after a horrendous experience trying to get back on celexa starting with just 5mg, I am VERY hesitant and don't want to go through anything like that again. Here is my history: ~12 years successfully on 20mg generic celexa --> successful switch over to ~2.5 years generic cymbalta --> slow-ish (I thought at the time) taper off over ~1.5 months (stopped 12/17) --> currently 8.5 months off and not doing well at all.7/2018 Tried to go back on generic celexa starting at 5 mg. Stuck it out for ~9 days, never made it up past 5mg. Had a terrible reaction to it. Dr thinks maybe because it was a different brand from the 10 years before. He questioned whether it was just my anxiety in reaction to it, but it was entirely too physical to be just my thinking-- Gripping panic, terror, crazy thoughts, felt possessed, arms and hands suddenly dead and heavy like they stopped working, immediate emotional numbness, genital numbness, inability to cry, appetite zapped gone (had to force every bite I ate for those 10 days, got down to my lowest weight ever, and not in a good way), unable to work or think straight, agitation, thought I would need to be hospitalized.8/2018 Tried Remeron. Wanted something that would not cause sexual side effects, so even though I had never taken it, dr recommended it. 7.5mg. First night bad restless legs. Got up to 15mg for ~2 weeks. Munchies. Slept. But neither in a nice way, more a zombie-ish way. Very tired and fatigued. Continued inability to think straight or work. Anxiety was sedated. Depression was sedated. More emotional numbness. Literally could not think. The depression did feel like it might have been starting to lift, but I needed to be able to think, and didn't want to keep experimenting with whether I could get to a dose that would not be so sedating, so I went down to 7.5mg/day then to 3.5 mg /day and have still been taking this just to try to stabilize. Having severe anxiety and depression though still.Currently experiencing: panic, depersonalization, depression, and for the first time in my life pretty severe anhedonia (pleasurable feelings and other emotions feel offline and physically inaccessible... including 'tools' I would use before: gratitude, feelings of spirituality, humor, warmth of relating).Looking to try reinstating generic cymbalta 9/2018.Doc suggested starting at 20mg, we agreed on 10mg (since I had such a strong reaction to attempt to restart celexa at 5mg). I would love to hear people's thoughts on slowly restarting cymbalta to try to get back to a stable place. I basically cannot go on in the panicked, anxious, depressed state that I am in. I have tried to white knuckle the panic the past months and it has only seemed to lead into a depression with anhedonia and my emotions shutting off in a way I have never experienced before and which is terrifying. Restarting at 10 mg cymbalta seems ok... and I'm looking to make sure it's the same brand as before... but I did have an intense bad reaction to just 5mg of celexa, so I think I might be very sensitive at this point. Also my Dr. recommended I stop the 3.5 mg remeron the same day I restart the cymbalta. Thoughts?
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use Privacy Policy