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  1. Hello, I'm reaching out to SA as a means of hopefully gaining clarity as to what caused or how I can resolve my insomnia. I get a few minutes to an hour per night since May 8th, 2014. Before that I was an 8 hour sleeper. I was hospitalized in May for hyperthyroidism relapse and slept for a week soundly whilst in hospital. Then I just stopped sleeping when I came back home on the 8th of May. Afterwards, I frequented the ER and ended up hospitalized for another 2.5 weeks due to insomnia and thyroid levels. My thyroid is now regulated, they increased my Klonopin at the hospital by 1 mg, I was given Remeron by a sleep specialist, and I still cannot manage to sleep. I would really appreciate any guidance or help. Thank you!
  2. Hi guys, Have had a lot of problems with tapering of mirtazapine. Finally got my head around fact that I need to do it slowly. But unsure as to what is a stable dose? Was on 7.5mg then went to 5.75 which did not work out. So went back to 7.5 and don't feel any better on that dose. Do I stick it out at 7.5 or perhaps go higher to 10 or 15mg. Any suggestions?
  3. I have been taking Mirtazapine on & off for two years and have now become completely tolerant & feel no benefit apart from it knocking me out at night. I have recently been prescribed pregabalin to deal with the anxiety I seem to be suffering as a side effect of mirtazapine. The pregabalin seemed to help at first but the benefits have very quickly worn off. I have really reached the end of my tether with the devastating effect medication has had on my life. I don't think i should have been prescribed an antidepressant in the first place & there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret taking one. I know I can't change what's happened but I can try to withdraw I try to get my life back.
  4. Intolerant59

    Intolerant59 Mirtazapine

    Hoping someone can help I have recently been prescribed Mirtazapine which I believe has increased my anxiety, I tremble inside through my whole body. I have been on many many different AD's all with terrible side effects. I'm too scared to taper off slowly as the anxiety is out of control and my dr told me to take Valium to counteract the anxiety. Very stressed and anxious would love to hear from someone who has experienced this anxiety side effect from Mirtazapine
  5. Starting withdrawal of Remeron from 30mg after taking for 9 months. Remaining on Effexor XR 300mg, Wellbutrin 300mg, and others. Have felt like parts of my head, face, and neck have seized up (like muscular stiffness) off and on over last few months. For the longest while thought it was psychosomatic. Then noticed I hadn't felt these sensations prior to Remeron, and that there were not thoughts or emotion associated with the tension spells. Subsequently, I have begun to suspect Remeron as possible culprit. Intend to withdraw slowly and keep a journal. Also intend to work with psychiatrist as a team throughout withdrawal. May note that I am nearing end of 36-session TMS (Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation). My mood seems much better than it was during the psychiatric hospitalizations I had ~1 year ago, which precipitated the medication cocktail I am on today. At present, biggest problem is muscular rigidity from shoulders up that I am unable to relax. Psychiatrist has given me a muscle relaxant (methocarbamol 500mg as needed) which seems to help, but only a little. Will try to stay active on this post during my taper process so others may benefit from my experiences. No real questions at moment, but I did recently encounter an individual in Emotions Anonymous who said after being bipolar for 40 years and having 10 hospitalizations he has gone off all his med's. Said he did it by following a neuroplasticity program prescribed by Caroline Leaf (it probably took many years). If anyone has followed her guidance, please share. I am considering buying her books and giving it a try.
  6. Had a bought of BAD BAD BAD anxiety at age 23 (I'm now 30). Didnt know what was wrong with me. Couldnt sleep, eat, or sit still for 6 days. I thought I was sick. Went to the Dr.. Said what I was experiencing was anxiety. He gave me Ativan and Lexapro. That was 6 years ago. I ditched the Lexapro and only took Ativan. But I took it sparingly, b/c I did not like the thought of withdrawal or addiction. My Dr. told me that I can not get addicted. Long story short over a 4 year period I had SO many UPS and DOWNS, strange symptoms that got weirder and weirder as the years went on. Numerous Dr visits. All crazy symptoms were ALWAYS written off as anxiety. The remedy? Take more ativan. Over a 4 years span I went from taking 0.25mg (and that knocked me out) to taking 2mg. Still not daily, but I realized I was building tolerance. I did research after getting REALLY sick, and found out I was going through benzo tolerance withdrawal. Probably have been for 4 years. My Dr. didnt believe me, so I saw a psychiatrist who believed me and helped me ween off. He gave me Remeron to help ween off. It worked wonders. I then got excited about Remeron b/c I didnt think it was that potent. I was told it was more of a antihistimine at lower doses. It helped me sleep, and most of all helped with appetite. After weening off ativan, and swearing to NEVER touch a benzo again, I then weened off Remeron. It was not that difficult. Months went by and I seemed to have gotten my life back. It was amazing. But then I started having issues with sleep. So I thought 'd start up a small dose of Remeron again, thinking it was nothing. Fearing another withdrawal though, I only took Remeron for a month, then weened off. I did this kind of sporadic use for the past 2 years. Example: On Remeron 7.5mg or 3.75mg for 1 month, then OFF for 2 months or 3, then Back ON Remeron for 1-2 months, then OFF for 2 months. This spring/summer of 2013, I was still having issues with sleep, but also having issues with high stress with the sell of our home and purchase of our new home. I was SO stressed, I couldnt handle it. SO I broke down and started taking Remeron again 7.5mg then to 3.75mg. Except this time, I could not ween off. I was on it for 1.5 months, and when I weened off, I kept getting these adrenaline surges in my sleep for 3 nights straight, followed by a heart rate of 114bpm. I then reinstated the drug at 3.75mg and did a SLOWER ween. This made a total of 3 months of being on Remeron this time. That's the LONGEST I've ever been on it in one stretch. Basically I weened down til I got down to taking crumbs. The first few days were okay once I was off. Then the Adrenaline surges started again, mostly at night in my sleep. I could NOT sleep for 6 nights. I was pacing the floors, my heart rate was SOOOO high. 120bpm. I would be shaking and sweating. It was HELL. I finally broke down and HAD to go to the Dr.. I could not function at work. It was awful. The Dr. told me it was not Remeron withdrawal and that I needed something. He said it was the return of my anxiety. I did not believe him. This was TOO intense. I then called the psychiatrist who I had not seen in 2 years who helped me get off ativan. I was hopeful he would help me and believe me that it was withdrawal. My Dr. gave me a small script of xanax. I swore I'D NEVER take a benzo again, but I was feeling SOOOO ROUGH I took a few rescue doses, but THAT WAS IT. NEVER AGAIN. I then finally got into my psychiatrist, and was very disappointed. He told me I needed medication the rest of my life. He told me this in a 30 minute session. I was feeling SOOO POORLY, that I started to second guess myself. He prescribed me Serequel 50mg. I told him I'd take it. I took it 1 night, and 1 night ONLY. It was what I call THE DEVILS DRUG. It made me hallucinate in my sleep. Like REALLY bad sleep paralysis. I called his office the next morning and told them I WAS NOT TAKING IT, NOR was I taking ANY MORE PSYCH MEDS. I told them I believe this is Remeron withdrawal. These adrenaline shocks ARE NOT ME. I prayed to God, waited it out, and sure enough I slowly started feeling BETTER. Day by day. Now Im 32 days clean off Remeron, and Ive had my ups and downs. I cant really complain compared to 3 weeks ago. But Im glad I stuck it out. Symptoms Im having: sleep is better, but some nights are choppy with early morning awakening. Mind chatter some nights in my sleep if awaken early in the morning or awakening in the middle of the night. Like I hear my own subconscious voice in my head chattering away. Im NOT hearing voices, its just my over active subconscious mind. Im also losing appetite again, even though it came back a week or 2 ago pretty good. Ive also been having the urge to cry here and there. I feel some sort of weird "disconnection" feeling, not quite depersonalization, but kind of?? Im gassy. I feel depressed kind of? Cant feel like I can really relax. Just overall crappy. But yet, OKAY. I also struggle mostly with the fact of "Is this withdrawal still 4 weeks out? Is this just me? Can I do this without medication?" It's just tough. But I'm hanging in there.
  7. I have been on these drugs for almost two years now. I didn't know how dangerous they were until tried getting off of Klonopin. I had to get back on until I restabilized. Which was recently. Ion plan on getting off Klonopin and remeron, but I've been advised to do Klonopin first.
  8. Greetings Everyone Hoping that everyone is faring well on their respective tapers. I am currently tapering a Benzodiazepine (Valium) and have managed to come down from a whopping 30mgs to 8mgs in 9 months. I am going really well in the lower numbers, however, I have a major problem with weight gain from Avanza (Remeron/Mirtazipine). Over the last 9 months I have been steadily gaining weight, despite maintaining a pretty decent exercise regime. Sadly it has come to the point where I have gained a massive and unbelievable 40kgs in total. The sugar and carbohydrate cravings are absolutely brutal and relentless. In retrospect I have been 'carb loading' as I have found that the benefits of carbs in general have assisted with the benzo taper, in that they bathe the brain in that lovely hormone 'serotonin'. Previously, in a detox setting, I dropped from 60mgs of Avanza to 30mgs overnight with not too much drama, a couple of nights of heart palps and being uncomfortable. I guess I was lucky in that I was only on the 60mgs for 7 days (prior to that I had been at 30mgs for 4 months or so). I have arrived at this site seeking advice on where to go next? I am desperate to remove the Avanza, but do not really want to cease the benzo taper as I have worked incredibly hard to get down to where I am today. I also developed tolerance very quickly when originally placed on benzos without any patient disclosure. Therefore, I feel compelled to forge ahead. I know that it is considered very unwise to taper two drugs at once, but really, very seriously need to address the Avanza issue due to the horrific weight gain. Basically, I am wondering if I could perhaps shave off 1/4 of my dose, by going from 30mgs down to 22.5mgs, staying there for 6 weeks and seeing how things go? I am really perplexed as there seems to be two very different and opposing schools of thought in this battlefield. Many say taper the a/d first, then the benzos. Likewise others say that an a/d cushions the blow when coming off benzos? Wondering if anyone has successfully managed to slowly (incrementally) taper their a/d while doing a sensible benzo taper at the same time? I was thinking of the following withdrawal regime, based on the fact that I managed to half my dose of Avanza previously without too much discomfort. 30mgs down to 22.5mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 22.5mgs down to 15mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 15mgs down to 7.5 mgs - hold 6 weeks (continue benzo taper) 7.5mgs for 3 weeks stop. (Complete benzo taper) I have not taken any other a/d prior to the Avanza, other than 3 days of Zoloft (boy that one did not agree with me at all). I have recently seen a prominent Addictionologist who has informed me that I should be able to immediately go to 15mgs, hold for 2 weeks and then off!!!! (Some big red flags there). Any information or advice greatly welcomed. I wish you enough....... EagleWolf
  9. Hi there - I've been lurking on the site for weeks now, but decided it was a good time to go ahead and start my own thread. My background is that I went in for plastic surgery and was given a mix of meds that made me go nuts. I was given high doses of prednisone for 5 days (which is known to cause mental issues) and wasn't tapered. The doctor had given me ativan to use as needed and I only took 7 pills over a 10 day timeframe before realizing how bad they were. I still wasn't sleeping so I was given ambien but only used it for 5 days due to the addictive nature. I didn't sleep for 3 days and freaked out and went to my first psychiatrist appointment ever. She prescribed me gabapentin to use as needed between 300-1200mg/day and doxepin at 10mg. I took this cocktail for a week and still only ever slept for 5 hours at a time, so she added Remeron. I took Remeron at 15mg for 5 days and at 7.5mg for another week. It really screwed with my brain even more. I couldn't concentrate at work and was all over the map and I felt really mentally slowed. I started having really scary urges, so my family brought me back to my home town and I stopped taking everything. The first 5 days was okay - I was able to sleep for 5 hours every night and then the next week all hell broke loose. I wanted to reinstate but since the meds never helped a bit I decided that it wasn't worth it. It's now 6 weeks after and I'm still having a really rough time. I'm very OCD and I'm afraid that I'm never going to heal. I went a good week sleeping about 7 or 8 hours a night but now panic and sheer anxiety have set in and I'm just obsessed over the idea that I'll never be the same. I've been taking OTC medication to help me sleep, and for a while I didn't have to take anything at all. I've been getting twitches all over and right now the back of my skull is tingling. I feel scared. I feel like such a fool - I never asked for this and it's scary as hell. I'm trying to go to work and be productive, but it's insanely hard without sleep and I just feel like I'm coming unglued. I know that I've been getting better. I can see the progress, but I'm so scared of more stuff coming in the future. My sleep is all over the place mostly because I'm super anxious and afraid that I'm dying and I feel compelled to contact another psychiatrist (one recommended on this site) but I don't know what they would do with me. They would just offer more drugs which I don't want to take. So, I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. The biggest thing for me is sleep - which hasn't been good ever since the surgery. I don't know what to do about that. Everything gets worse when I don't sleep and I'm so scared of not sleeping for a week!
  10. Hi. Now im 25 years old. I grew up and raised in Bangkok, Thailand. Then destiny took over and i spent my years of high school and college in Boston, Massachusetts. How did i come to find you guy? well, it started about September 2012 when my first pet, Yoda the cat, passed away at age of 1 year 8 months. He spent half of his life in Boston with me and then another in Bangkok before he went to heaven. After he passed away, i was very sad and lost (yet, i didnt the meaning of depressed compare to now). At time, i began to drink and smoked very heavily. About sep 2013, a year later, i was feeling quite confident and happy, yet i was still on alcohol and mj to hide my sadness. Its an asian thing you see, where a man talking about his struggle and sadness is unacceptable. Then one night in sep 2013, i didnt want to keep anymore secret to my parent, i told them "i was on weed and alcohol daily, but im trying to give them up, please bare with me during the giving up period". Then, after few of aggression behaviour and with my parent's frustration (its totally not their fault), they put me in a car, drove to the Psychiatrist they planned. I knew it was just alcohol and weed withdrawal and i needed sometime. Atleast thats what i told my parent and the Doctor. Instead, the doctor quickly put me into Rehab after about 10 minutes of our conversation. At first, i believe them. They are doctor and nurses, for god sake. i was given a handful of drug every morning and night for 5 weeks in rehab. At the time, i didnt question anything. After i got out of Rehab, which was in October 2013, i was doing fine. I mean, i remember things vaguely and was not depressed. I was slow and zombie-like ofcause. After rehab, thats when i see what kind of drugs they were given me; Depakine, Seroquel, Litium, and many more i couldn't remember. 3 months have passed and it was X'mas time. I started to feel really weird, not to mention the zombify and slowness. I felt like i did not want to do anything, i was hopeless in life for the first time in my life. By that time, i did not drink or smoked at all, i was believing in my Doctor whom i see every 2 weeks. Drugs he gave me were still in high amount. My girlfriend who was very understanding and very close to me at that time also noticed the strangeness in me. i could not make a single decision on anything, i was very fearful of seeing my friend and family, and very scared of talking to my girlfriend. I went back to the doctor and told my fear and sorrows. Right then, he stop given me all the MoodStabilizer drugs and switched to all Antidepressants; Effexor 300mg in the morning, Remeron 30mg at night and Rivotril 4mg. i was very surprised by how he switched the drugs so easily. By January 2014, i was very depressed and could not get out of bed, only thinking about welcoming death. It was the most hopeless chapter of my life. I did not want to do anything, talk to my parent nor even my girlfriend. I could not eat. January till April was just that. About the beginning of June, i felt a little bit better... glad i did not took my life. I asked my doctor to lower the dosage of my dugs.. and he agreed. From 300mg of effexor to 150mg, yet 30mg of remeron and rivotril still the same. Within the next day i felt full withdrawal classic symptoms; headache, fatigue, brainzap, nauseas and many more. I was terrified. At that time, i started to make some research and found you guy. Thanks god. With fear and little knowledge, i stayed on 150mg of effexor for a week, then 75mg for 3 days, 37.5mg for another 3 days, then off to ZERO. i did the same with remeron right after where i cut down to 15mg for a week, then ZERO. YES, acute withdrawal was very server for the first month. Then physically symptoms was diminished. 2nd and the 3rd month i was living in Fear and Terror. I would waking up with such a horrid dreams every 3 hours. i could not really function well. I learned about Wave and Window from this site, and i tried to live my life as healthy as possible, yet it was very hard. I have been taking alot of fish oil and Vitamins B. Some day i was doing ok, i mean be able to walk around and get food at the market. Most of the time i was very sick. My girlfriend was very understanding and took care of me well. I told everything and she listened. But by the end of July, she had to leave for school in London. That was when i get super stress and down. It seems like i was back at square one. I tried to hold on to what Althos said about Wave and Recovery, but i just cant. I am very desperate.
  11. I need advice! I have been on remeron and klonopin for 4 months. I am trying to come off due to side effects from both. I am also taking lamictal and holding on to that for now. I tapered off klonopin 4 days ago and have also been tapering off remeron from 26 down to 7.5 in about a week on the advice from an integrative psychiatrist. All was well until yesterday when my anxiety returned hard. I'm trying to wait it out for a few more days. I'm wondering if I should wait it out a few more days or go back to the dose of remeron I was more comfortable at. I really don't want to but I can't do this for more than a few days.
  12. Hi, I quit trazodone cold turkey on May 15th after being on it for a few years (25mg dosage). It seemed to not be helping my sleep anymore so I quit it cold turkey thinking I would have a few days of withdrawal and then be done since my doctor said it was not habit forming. I had bad withdrawals for about a month and but kept thinking it would go away. Thinks started to get better in the second month but then around July 20th I woke up one day with a bad panic attack. I decided to take a lower dose to try and reinstate so I took 12.5 mg. The next day I was puking and really sick so I thought it was an adverse reaction and quit taking it. The next 3-4 days I felt really good and did not attribute it to the Trazodone right away. After those 3-4 days I noticed similar withdrawals to when I went off it the first time. I then started thinking that my body had actually stabilized on that dose and that is why I was feeling so good and was withdrawing again. By that time about a week had gone by and I decided to take the 12.5 mg again. This time though, by the fourth day my sleep was way worse and was having many intermittent panic attacks through out the day. Last night I didn't get any sleep and decided to stay off it again as things were getting rapidly worse. Today I feel better but the anxiety is still there. I so wish I would have stayed on the 12.5 mg after I reinstated the first time cause I actually think I was stabilizing. Now I feel back at square one and the last couple months were for nothing. Any recommendations? Should I reinstate again at a lower dose? I am so confused and wish I would have never got on these meds.
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