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  1. Hi all, It's been a crazy few months since August... and yet it feels like we barely started on this journey. Not really looking forward to next year based on what I've seen... Anyway, some background, my 62yr old mum has on and off over the years experienced stress related throat symptoms - difficulty swallowing, lump in throat etc. All her visits to throat specialists yielded nothing (except for a slight hernia hiatus w/ GERD, which she was put on a PPI long term for). Unable to find the source of her discomfort, she became more distressed by it, resulting in a vicious cycle of cause and effect. Eventually she got put on Fluvoxamine 150mg, Olanzapine 2.5mg and Nordiazepam 11.25mg back in 2018 Nov. Previously she has been rx fluvoxamine on and off since 2004, and seem to have always gone cold turkey off them whenever she felt better. Her pdoc never warned her not to do so, nor suspected that her repeated visits and complaints of symptoms may have been due to withdrawal. She was previously rx benzos PRN but never took them until the TID prescription in nov 18. Fast forward to 2019, she started exhibiting symptoms of what i now know was tolerance withdrawal from benzos, increasing anxiety and visibly fearful, things shes never had before. In Aug 19 she switched a pdoc believing that the previous pdoc's meds werent working anymore. The new pdoc cold turkeyed her off the antipsychotic as well as her benzo, but rx clonazepam to her to be taken PRN, but only if she really needs it coz it's 'addictive' and thus bad. She was also switched to mirtazapine 30mg. This switch resulted in a tsunami of acute withdrawal symptoms to appear. Within weeks of zero sleep and many many disturbing symptoms, she became suicidal. I got involved at this point, but was otherwise ignorant of the real danger she was in. I knew she was in withdrawal, I just didnt know withdrawals could be so dangerous or last that long. The pdoc reassured me that everything will be okay, and that she's already looking better than when she first came in! (Turns out, it was because she had a clonazepam just before the appointment. Duh!) When things didnt relent by the end of august, and she became actively suicidal, i grew concerned and admitted her to a psych ward. Bad mistake, because they misdiagnosed her as depression and did a major change to her cocktail of drugs again. They reinstated her on 10mg V, and switched her to 75mg Effexor XR, as well as loaded her on zdrugs for the duration if her stay(10+days). This mistake did help me figure out what went wrong though, as the switch to Valium helped me find benzobuddies and the ashton manual. Only then did the past month finally make sense. I was horrified at how arbitrary pdocs were making their adjustments to medications, and shocked that they would so blatantly tell me its her underlying illness that she has been masking symptoms of from me. Makes one wonder if she was so good at masking symptoms previously, why is she incapable of doing so now? 😕 They tried to cold turkey / rapid taper her off V again, but i insisted they reinstate her back on her benzo and do a proper taper instead. They agreed but only reinstated and discharged her with 8mg V with the instruction to taper her benzo at 1mg/mth. My discovery and obsession of benzo withdrawal has blinded me to the other two real dangers that she was in, that she was cold turkeyed off an antipsychotic, and put on venlaflaxine, a super short halflife snri. By the time I realize it may not just be benzo withdrawal, it was too late, she was already off olanzapine for 3 mths, and on effexor xr for the same amount of time. I raised my concerns, but the pdoc brushed away my concern again. These ill advised tapering instructions resulted in my mum entering a state of catatonia stupor in mid nov, and had to be admitted to the hospital for a week, after she couldnt stabilize on her 1mg cut to 7mg V. As of now, shes having a myriad of symptoms, including but not limited to dp/dr, akathisia, broken sleep, major brain fog cognitive dysfunction/memory issues, paranoia, confusion, dysphagia, anxiety, fear, panic, agoraphobia, constipation and other gi issues, and something im growing more and more concerned for, tardive dyskinesia (rapid eye blinking, chewing, lips smacking) which Im wondering if it was from the olanzapine cold turkey or the clonazapem use for 3 weeks after her first cold turkey. Most days, shes hardly present and would take a long time to register things i say, or execute simple instructions. Her cognitive skills fluctuates, but only from really bad to somewhat bad, never good or normal. Her anxiety has somewhat weaned but is still fearful and obsessively worried and paranoid. She bounced back from her catatonic state rather quickly, but is experiencing severe dp/dr and brain fog that hasnt relented for the 2 weeks since she got discharged from the hospital. Waves and windows throughout the day... Anyway.. her tardive dyskinesia concerns me... and got me reading up on more than just benzo withdrawal. Effexor has always concerned me, so on and off i'd be on SA reading up about it, but Ashton said to taper ADs after benzos so i never really questioned it, until I read the thread about tapering stimulating drugs first which got me thinking if we should get her off effexor first and do a long hold on her benzo instead... of course, i'm assuming her pdoc will be supportive but who knows 😕 Anyway... I'm currently holding her on 7mg V intil the end of the year, which will make it about 2+mths shes on that dosage. Will do a micro taper eitherway, drycutting V or counting beads for effexor XR. As of now, i started tapering her PPI omeprazole coz shes been on it for almost 4 yrs and that concerns me... as well as the Valium Interaction with omeprazole. for all I know, her anxiety and throat symptoms over the yrs couldve been caused by the PPI, coupled with her cold turkeying off her ADs on her own over the years, it seemed like a perfect storm waiting to happen... I wish back then I had known the things i know now, perhaps then she wouldnt be on these drugs or been cold turkeyed off them. It's painful to watch her usually high functioning self be reduced to someone whom I have to bring to the washroom otherwise she doesnt remember she has to urinate. I really miss her. I wish I had read up more, because I had the exact same thing happen to me in my early 20s with ADs and antipsychotics (had a BS bipolar II diagnosis and even had 10 rounds of ECT done to me) but I was taught to embrace my mental illness and work towards recovery... but I always kind of knew it was BS because I knew I didnt become suicidal or had behavioral issues until i started on psych drugs, and that I didnt fully recover until i was off them for a couple of years (I learnt to act normal so my pdoc would take me off them). Anyhow... tons of regret not researching more when I was younger, coz I can see clearly now what happened to me back then, and what is happening to my mum now. Sorry for the long post. Been feeling very guilty and helpless lately over her current situation, and cant figure out what the next best step should be. Anyway, I hope everyones doing ok and making progress in their own journey to recovery.
  2. Hello everyone, This is my ever first time writing in a forum , I decided to reach out because I am feeling a bit lost.... Excuse if my english is not at it's best as I'm not a native english speaker. I have tried to make my signature, which became far too long and I had to delete so many things that it felt to me that there were too many things missing, but as I am new to "this", I am hoping someone might help me. First things first I am going to write down all my history with anxiety and panic attacks, at least all I can remember, as I'm very forgetful lately. 2005- cypralex due to panic attacks and GAD (can’t remember dosage) gained 46 kgs 2006- August quit cypralex cold turkey no symptoms that I can remember 2007- January started exercising and diet to lose weight by December i had lost all 46 kgs 2011- Panic attacks and anxiety emerged after break up of a relationship that broke my heart. Psychiatrist put me on Paroxetine 40mg trazodone 50mg bromazepam 3mg x2 day hated trazodone and the way it gave me vivid nightmares so I’ve quit it after a while always with doctor supervision 2012- September quit my job, had gain almost 20 kgs, was super depressed still but no panic attacks nor anxiety. 2013- Moved back in with my ex , in march I started the tapering of paroxetine, extremely slowly, and by December 31 I was done. 2014- June massive relapse, anxiety, panic attacks, was living abroad and flew back home to see my psychiatrist, started Prozac 40mg because I had put on so much weight that was unable to lose, worse choice ever, prozac made me have even more panic attacks during my sleep..... Bromazepam 3mg and trazodone 50mg 2014 September 2nd - Another huge panic attack during my sleep, took me to the ER, where the psychiatrist there put me on xanax xr 0.5 3 times day October 28 2014 - Tried to reduce the xanax from 1,5 mg xr a day to 1 mg a day t but i got extremely sick nausea shaking and dizzy my doctor switched me to diazepam 20 mg a day, and also I gave up on Prozac and went back to paroxetine November 2014 - Had terrible shaking nausea headaches, I suspected it was from the xanax switching 2015 - Had 1 panic attack in June but was stable and still on paroxetine 2016 January - I decided that it was time for me to start reducing (tapering) the paroxetineI had moved to another country living happily but the weight that I had gained i could never get rid of, I went from 64kgs in 2011 to 100kgs. September 24 th - Found out I was pregnant and still tapering the paroxetine 2016 December - By the end of December I was done with the tapering and was done 1 year reducing. 2017 - Was totally fine 2018 - Totally fine 2019 June - Panic attack during my sleep, caught off guard, tought I was free from it... 2019 July - Anxiety rising so much I could not leave the house, could not enter any store, or supermarket I would start feeling like I was going to have a panic attack 2019 July 25th - Decided not to fly back to my homecountry to my psychiatrist and went to a psychiatrist here. Prescribed me amitriptyline 10 mgat night, plus gabapentin 100 mg 3 times day and xanax xr 0,5 2 times a day and xanax 0,25 IR in s.o.s 2019 August - I felt a bit less edgy, calmer but still couldn't leave the house alone nor enter supermarkets. I could walk outside IF I wasn't alone but I never felt safe alone and was always afraid of leaving the house. Gained weight 2019 October 2nd - Went to the doctor and the previous psychiatrist had been moved to another district. The new pychiatrist prescribed me Paroxetine 20mg, Lyrica 75 mg 2 times per day and diazepam 6 mg a day. Since end of July gained 6 kgs After my last appointment with the new psychiatrist , I start taking the meds on the 3rd of October, but I did nottake the 6 mg of valium he prescribed because I simply knew that it was too low of a dosage and I would have to keep on with the xanax at least a month til I feel that I was stable enough with the paroxetine to switch to a higher dose of diazepam. But when I mentioned to the doctor the 1mg of xanax xr i was taking a day switching me to 6mg of diazepam wasn't very smart not would it be helpful, he said replied to me saying that the lyrica would amplify the effect of diazepam... I was so upset.... truth is and on that very same day after taking Lyrica 75 mg, I start to feel itchy. I tought it was ok, and on the second day I was still itchy, so I decided to call the doctor to ask him and he told me that it couldn't be related nor an allergic reaction. I knew it wasn't the paroxetine because I had taken paxil before, and I knew it wasn't the xanax as well, so it could only be the lyrica. When I asked my doctor why was he putting me on lyrica his answer was that he could not just stop me the gabapentin, so he said he would switch me to a lower amount, and then reduce more and stop. The thing is, I am itchy every single day all the time, I have to use creams for eczema/atopic skin, and I am drinking 2 liters of water per day, no coffee, no alcohol, nothing with caffeine....... I feel like reducing the lyrica in half, from 150mg a day to 75mg, since I am taking it for not even 4 weeks, but I am afraid of how could it affect me. And about the Xanax, I am still taking the 0.5 xr twice a day but I want to switch to liquid diazepam which I have so I can reduce it and manage dosages better. I am taking the xanax since 25th of July, it's a good while, can any of you advise me? I have read the ashton manual, but I am still afraid. What about the lyrica making me itchy like a dog with fleas? Any help would be so appreciated.
  3. Hi all, I recently completed a taper of Valium over the Feb - Sept 2019 time period via a daily liquid microtaper (sooo glad to be done with this!), but from my siggy, you can see I am also currently on Lexapro and Mirtazapine (both of which I have been on now for around a year). I would like to taper off of both of these (not the same time, but lexapro first, mirtazapine second) over the coming months and am just looking for more information from those who have successfully walked this path before me. If anyone is tapering a benzo, I am an open book regarding my experience and what has helped me (fish oil and kefir are the two supplements that helped me the most, by a mile). I am wondering if there is a way I can taper my antidepressants in a similar manner - very very slowly, gradually, and consistently, but also a pace that is based on symptoms / experience as opposed to a pre-set path. Thankfully, none of these are controlled substances, and I have a doctor that is very supportive of working with me, so I am all ears to this community and look forward to joining and learning in advance of my remaining tapers. Thanks, Jim
  4. Hi all. Long time lurker, thought I’d finally join in. Age =30, Male. Straight to business: Had what you might call a nervous breakdown after quitting my job and also dropping out of University mid 2016. I was having suicidal thoughts, disordered thinking and I stopped sleeping. - Started on a low dose of Valium for 2 weeks to help sleep. This unfortunately exacerbated my depression, anxiety, insomnia, agitation. - started on Lexapro. Again, made my symptoms worse. Didn’t sleep for a week straight. Yikes. - finally prescribed seroquel 25mg. Took it before bed for 1 week. Had 1 week break. Took it again for 1 week. Calmed me down, gave me decent sleep. Didn’t touch it again. - Finished up the 6 months course of lexapro (can’t remember the dose but it was the lowest you can be clinically prescribed). - Afterwards, suffered withdrawal insomnia and anxiety/agitation, doc prescribed 7.5mg mirtazapine nightly. - finished up the mirtazapine after 9 months. Went through 3 months of hell to finally get to 0mg. Drug free for roughly 1.5years so far. I had a LOT of withdrawal symptoms getting to where I’m at now. I’m happy to discuss these so do hit me up. Mirtazapine withdrawal was incredibly difficult. Current state: - Poor short term memory recall (this is slowly getting better) - Chronic tension headache. This is my number 1 gripe. Sometimes better sometimes worse, always low level. Mostly pressure/ache forehead along hat-line but can be top of head. Started 1-2 days into mirtazapine and hasn’t gone away since. - General anxiety (worse in morning, better in evening). - Low stress tolerance - Difficulty with speech, wrong order or words, stumbling over words. If my headache is bad my speech is usually bad as well. - Brain fog - Sleeping pretty well surprisingly. Usually get my 8 hours. - starting to notice photosensitivity. Bright lights in shopping malls in particular cause me to squint a lot. what I’ve tried: Getting a dog - highly recommend. My dog is my best friend. Jaw/Head/Neck/Shoulder dry needling - this works to relieve my tension headache but only temporarily. I carry a lot of tension in my jaw. Breathe right Nasal strips - really helped my sleep and reducing severity of my headache. Thyroid testing - all results within normal range. Chiro - helped loosen up my neck and back but no discernible difference in my tension headaches. Both eyes checked by optometrist - excellent vision Running 3-4 times per week Jiu Jitzu 2 times per week Hot yoga 1 times per week Future: - have just completed a sleep study, based on the improvement I had with headache with the nasal strips. Possibly have sleep apnoea & bruxism. - acupuncture - thinking about having a weekly acupuncture session to relieve muscle tension for my headaches instead of weekly Acupressure massages. - work hard on improving personal relationships. A final note. The fact that I was on Seroquel really bums me out and I attribute most of my current symptoms to it. Despite it effectively saving my life at that time I really really regret taking it Reading about the effects of it in various websites/research papers upsets me a lot still to this day. Anyway, big ups to this website. I couldn’t have tapered and ultimately came off mirtazapine without it. Just reading everyone’s stories gave me the determination to get drug free. If anyone has any thoughts on tension headaches in particular would love to hear from you.
  5. Hi everybody, My mom started taking lexapro 10 mg a month ago, after two week Dr increade to 20 which is now two week. When want to taper the pill because she is having terrible effects, Jelly leg, she cannot be in her feet, cannot walk, confusion,vivid dreams, and hallucinations. Why she starter Lexapro, because she was taking Diazepam for many years, and yes she was working her way out with few symptom here and there but never happened what is happening now, it seen that Lexapro is increasing everything. So I am looking for information to take the pill away since the Doctor is out of town and she is no taking the pill for so long .
  6. Topic title: In the middle of lexapro taper - let’s discuss please Hi all - 6 years on lexapro 20 mg. Taper started December 13, 2018. Got down to 10 mg in April. Waited for a bit and recently got to 5 mg 3 weeks ago. Here Is my story and any help would be appreciated - thank you so much! about 6 years ago I was put on 20 mg lexapro. I do not have clinical depression or anxiety. I had been going through a situational hard time in college. Wish I came off sooner but I was too scared. Finally in December of this past year I was ready and so over being on it! . * note I was also a heavy Cannabis user and quit at the same time starting to come down from 20 mg. From Dec to April I went from 20-10 mg. It was very hard but in s different way in which I am struggling now. I was anxious and crying a lot during the first ten mg. Also I made a conscious decision to use benzos. During this entire process. And I would never be able to do it without it. I work a full time high powered job. So please respect the fact that I will be getting off benzos AFTER my taper is over. i was then prescribed the 10 mgs. I was very much stabilized at this point. As I waited to come down more. The pill was much smaller making it harder to make smaller cuts. To be honest I also am sick of being on this damn lexapro. So I went a bit too fast from 10 mg to 5 mg. All was okay and almost easier than the 20 to 10. Until I got to 5 mg. Two weeks after hitting 5 mg I am in full panic mode a lot of the last 10 days. So - if I have been on 5 mg for 3 weeks now - does anybody have any idea when the panics will go away and when I will likely stabilize? How long does it take on lower dosages to feel ok? I know everyone is different but if I can have some experiences on thr lower doses ? Thank you!! dana
  7. During a disastrous attempted benzo taper, I developed severe depression and anhedonia, different and more intense than ever before in life. I have history of anxiety and depression, but nothing ever of this scale. I also developed severe insomnia during benzo taper, which persists even after I've paused benzo tapering (currently on 20mg Valium). I rely on Clonidine to get a few hours of sleep every night. My timeline: 2006 Effexor for anxiety and mild depression 2010 change to Lexapro 2012 change to Pristiq 100mg Multiple unsuccessful attempts to taper (psychological symptoms only). These were all quick tapers, as advised by doctors, which I only now in hindsight realise were too fast. Psychiatrist diagnosed ADD in November 2017 started Modafanil 400mg. Functioned well on Modafanil, was also still on Pristiq. Modafanil expensive and wanted a cheaper alternative. Feb 2018 Psychiatrist started me on Ritalin LA 40mg. I reacted badly with this stimulant, too agitated and couldn't function so Psychiatrist added Temazepam 10mg. March 2018 ceased Modafanil. March 2018 switched from Temazepam to 20mg Diazepam. Diazepam increased up to 90mg over next few months. June 2018 switched from Ritalin to 70mg Vyvance. August 2018 switch from Diazepam to Clonazepam, kept needing increased dose, progressively went to 6mg Clonazepam, and also prescribed short acting Dexampthetamine. My life was spiralling out of control and I realised I needed to get off all the meds and not see this Psychiatrist again. I naively asked the Psychiatrist for tapering advice. Was advised to taper Pristiq first, then Vyvance and Dexamphetamine, and lastly Clonazepam. All the suggested tapers were, ofcourse, extremely fast. Tapers: Sept - November 2018 tapered off 100mg Pristiq (compounding) while still on Vyvance, Dexamphetamine and 6mg(!!!) Clonazepam. I don't really remember this taper. My family tell me I was bed bound during last few weeks. All psychological symptoms. Jan 2019 fast taper Vyvance and Dexamphetamine. Got very agitated towards the end and cold turkeyed the last bit of the dose as couldn't handle it anymore and wanted it out my system. Feb to March 2019: fast taper 6mg clonazepam to 1 mg, ended up in Psych hospital due to acute anxiety and insomnia, and had developed severe intensity depression and anhedonia, different and more intense than ever before in life. March 2019 hospital admission: Stopped tapering benzo. Commenced Seroquel for sleep but didn't help . commenced Chlorpromazine, slept well. Commenced Mirtazapine. Self discharged. Found Ashton Manual and converted to 20mg Valium, and planned to hold benzo taper to try to stabilise. The 'holding' did not ease depression. April 2019 GP converted me from Mirtazapine to Effexor XR (took Mirtazapine for 9 days, wasn't helping depression and was causing increased appetite). Started Effexor XR at 37.5mg for one week, 75mg for 2 weeks, and then 150mg for 4 weeks (total 7 weeks). May 2019: ceased Chlorpromazine, even though it helped with sleep, as didn't want to be on it. Effexor had not eased depression at all after 7 weeks so started tapering. Again, a fast doctor-led taper: 6th June 2019 reduced Effexor from 150mg to 75mg, held for one week. 13th June reduced from 75mg to 37.5mg, still holding this dose. Have not had any noticeable withdrawal from these reductions. I reluctantly agreed to try antidepressants as the depression is unbearable and I have no quality of life. But it hasn't helped so I want to get off the Effexor before I get more dependent on it, but I'm scared as I've since realised that doctor-advised tapers are too fast, compounded by the problem of my nervous system being so vulnerable during a recent too fast benzo reduction from an extremely high dose. Reluctantly started Trans Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) therapy 27th June. I've had 7 treatments so far without adverse effect. I hope the depression eases, even if only a minor improvement, I would be grateful. My GP is advising to continue Effexor taper during TMS but I'm scared, so I'm holding 37.5 dose. I'm using generic Effexor (6 mini tablets inside each 75mg capsule). I want to taper Effexor more gradually, but don't know how. Generic don't have the small beads which I've read about on this site. Can I change to brand name Effexor? I know now that gradual slow taper is best, but I don't have this luxury as I need to get off Effexor before I can re-start my benzo taper (taking 20mg valium currently). I am desperate to be benzo free to reclaim my life. I haven't been able to work for nearly 1 year, feel like I have no future. 2006 Commenced Effexor 2010 Converted to Lexapro 2012 Converted to Pristiq 2017 Commenced Modafanil 2018 Commenced Ritalin and Vyvance, with benzos added due to reaction to Ritalin September-November 2018 taper off 100mg Pristiq January 2019 Dexamphetamine and Vyvance taper February-March 2019 tapered from 6mg to 1mg Clonazepam April 2019 Commenced Effexor XR 6th June 2019 started tapering Effexor, from 150mg to 37.5mg currently.
  8. Amanda167

    Amanda167

    Hi. I've been on Paxil for 22 years with a few unsuccessful WDs in the past. I finally learnt that I was going way to fast so began during the 10% method from 15mg, everything was going well until I got to 7mg. I noticed that my last few prescriptions, I was constantly given a different generic and im sure my severe reaction was not only WD, but from being given yet another generic that I'd never has in the past ( paroxetine made by Milamed) as it coincides with the start of my severe WDs that started at the beginning of Feb 2019, I tried desperately to ride the storm but it got so severe with an endless list of symptoms that left me bedridden and had to give up work. 3 months of insomnia, anxiety, intrusive thoughts, panic, severe chest discomfort, etc left me wanting to end my life and I was taken to ER 3 times, they wanted to admit me to the psyche ward and I refused so each time, I went back home. From the 14th of May, 3 new meds were added.... Zoplicone.. to which I was grateful because i hadnt slept in months so have been taking half 375mg since. Quietiapine 25mg... to which I took for 5 days, then got scared and started tapering down and now on 8mg. Valium... I've been taking anything from 0.50mg daily to 4mg daily to try and take off the edge but obviously hasn't done much as mainly only taken 1 to 2mg on average for the past 4 weeks and now trying to taper that as to scared to just stop. On 1.3mg and trying not to keep switching doses. The only reason I kept switching as I never intended them to be permanent so wasn't paying much attention. As you can probably guess, I'm extremely cautious and trying so desperately not to rely on other meds and have a strong hate to big pharma. To add more confusion to what was once only 10 to 15mg of Paxil daily, I now have 3 other meds in the mix. And now it gets complicated... After hitting severe WD on the generic paroxetine from the 8th of Feb 2019, I updosed as follows... 29th April 19.... updosed to 8.5mg 07th May 19.... updosed to 9.5mg 14th May 19.... updosed to 10.4mg 29th May 19.... switched from generic brand to GSK Seroxat Paxil and stayed at 10.4mg and holding. The reason for my switch was because I had to decide on one brand and stick to it after finding out that generics can vary and I was so mad that my pharmacist kept giving me different generics. I strongly believe that the last one was bad and aided massively to my severe WD. Well, since switching to the GSK Seroxat Paxil, a new kind of hell broke lose, it felt so much stronger my head felt it was going to explode. It has been absolutely horrendous and I'm struggling to hold on and to make things more complicated, I don't know if the added meds are making things even worse. I'm so desperate to reach some stability and now know that messing with the other doses have probably not helped at all but was so desperate not to rely on other poisons. I don't know what to do to make things better, it's been a month since updosing but only 2 weeks on the GSK paxil and it's not working. Please can someone advise me??? Help me??? I feel like I've had an adverse reaction and being given more meds on a sensitized nervous system only complicated matters further... so desperate to know a way out. I would of given up if I didn't have an amazing 14 year old Son. I'm so sorry for the complication of my story and would truly appreciate if someone can offer some advise. I so wish I'd just held but I was so so desperate. Thank you so much for reading, I appreciate that others are going through hell too and it's such a lonely frustrating painful journey x
  9. I require urgent help please. Over the past 18 months I have had several medication changes due to going off 150mg Effexor cold turkey in July 2017. I didn't know how to do it any other way at the time and I told no-one what I was doing, not even my doctor. it just wasn't working any more. I had been off Effexor for about 3 months and thought I had got through the worst of it although still had some withdrawal affects going on but I was functioning okay and sleeping. I thought I'd call my doctor and let him know what I did and that is where I went wrong. He told me to reinstate Effexor immediately at 75mg from memory, which I did because I felt like I had done something terribly wrong. Upon reinstatement my whole body went into shock and I couldn't move. It was shocking. My doctor told me to go into hospital and that he'd help fix it. By the time I left hospital I think I was on the minimum effective dose of Zoloft. After leaving hospital I found that the Zoloft was overstimulating and I didn't sleep for a week. I had to take 25mg of seroquel for sleep. Zoloft wasn't the right antidepressant for me. Without tapering off Zoloft, my doctor would try me on several different antidepressants over the next 6 weeks, including prozac, mirtazapine, brintalex, valdoxen, lexapro. I had adverse side affects to all of these medications and can't remember what dose he started me on. I believe now that my brain/body couldn't tolerate medication anymore. I needed to go back to hospital and I needed to find another doctor. I found another doctor and I think in February 2018 from memory, and I apologise that my memory is very vague due to my recent round of ECT. I think I started taking 20mg of Prozac, which did have it's challenges. I underwent a round of ECT, in April 2018 and left hosptial feeling better on 20mg of Prozac and Olanzapine - I can't remember this dose - maybe 5mg because 10mg was too much and I couldn't function on that amount. I agreed to take the Olanzapine only for 3 months to get myself back to work an back to life. When my doctor took me off the olanzapine I think she did it too quickly and the withdrawal was intense. It was so intense that I tried to commit suicide. Next step, back to hospital when my doctor suggested that I should go back onto Effexor as it had worked for me in the past. I was desperate, I didn't feel comfortable about it, but she's the doctor and knows best right? The current situation is that I came off Effexor 150mg (the original dose was 225mg), under the guidance of my psychiatrist in November 2018. She tapered me off the medication over 2 weeks. The reason I needed to come off Effexor was due to the fact that I just wasn't able to function whilst taking it, I actually felt worse. The hell that followed was horrendous and I did try and reinstate a low dose of Effexor although it just made matters worse. She had be do a course of TMS treatment and then my doctor suggested ECT . I agreed because I thought it was supposed to help with the withdrawal, although in hindsight I think she was trying to treat depression, when I told her I wasn't depressed and that I was experiencing was withdrawal. The ECT was a really bad idea. After the 9th ECT treatment I felt as though I was losing my mind, I felt like my brain was on fire. This sensation lasted quite a number of days and the only thing that helped was 5mg of valium as a PRN, which I took for about 6 days. I am now in such a state. I don't know where to turn. I can't sleep and I can't turn to my doctor for help because she has totally screwed me over. Please help me, I am so desperate. I am currently taking the following vitamins and supplements. Fish Oil 2000mg 4 x day N-acetylcysteine 1000mg 2 x per day Vitamin D 1 x day Vitamin C 1 x day Nux Vomica IM (when nauseous) Magnesium amino acid chalate - 1 scoop 2 x per day Naturopath remedies - Wellbeing mix 3 x day, soothing drops 3 x day, sleep support 2 x per day, Sleep and Rejuva Sleep Forte 4 x day, compounded melatonin 5mg for sleep.
  10. Hi, Is it possible to get natural sleep after heavy use of valium for about 40 years? I'm off from valium for last 3 years and tapering etizolam*. Took valium from 1970 to 2014. * Link to wiki information about this drug. Etizolam (marketed under the brand name Etilaam, Etizola, Sedekopan, Etizest, Pasaden or Depas) is a benzodiazepine analog.
  11. How it all started. November 2017 I was prescribed .5 mg of Klonopin to be taken once daily I do not have any pre existing anxiety or health issues. The "medicine" was given to me to help with some stress induced insomnia. Since then the stress that caused the insomnia has long been resolved. I was told this medication was a low dose, and it was perfectly safe, and could be taken nightly for up to 3 months without having any problems with dependency or addiction. Even though i told the doctor 11 years prior i had a bad withdrawel from Ativan that was prescribed to me after my mothers death. He said klonopin is much safer and easier to come off of. Also i took increasing doses of Ativan for close to a year... so of course it was hard to withdraw from... I took the Klonopin .5mg exactly as prescribed for about 10 to 12 days, and then for a week after I took half the dose .25 mg. Then i quit... Apparently I'm very sensitive to these types of medications and not biochemically compatible with them, because what happened over the next 8 days, I describe as increasing anxiety, insomnia, and irrational fear, that got to the point (8 days out) of having absolutely zero sleep the night before and feeling completely detaches from reality. Now i wish i would have realized what was happening and stuck it out, because I'd probably be 100% recovered by now. However, I ( like so many of us ) went running back to the doctor for help. I made an emergency appointment with my doc. He prescribed me a very high dose of Gabapentin and told me that its a great new medication used for benzo and alchohol withdrawels. He promised me that this drug was completely safe and not addictive at all as he did with the Klonopin. but he convinced me of it by telling me it wasn't a controlled substance. It worked great for about a week, but then all of those strange withdrawal symptoms from the Klonopin started coming back, and I required more of the Gabapentin to control those symptoms... My doctor actually said I could pick up the 3600 mg of it a day if need it without any worry of withdrawal. I had a massive bottle of 300mg pills and another massive bottle of 100mg pills to "fill in" I got to the point where I was taking 300 mg in the morning, 300 mg in the afternoon, and 1200 mg at night. But something just didn't feel right, I wasn't myself, I felt like I had suddenly lost 10 or 15 IQ points, the world seemed dull and so did my emotions. So the doctor pulled me off the gabapentin and put me back on the klonopin and once stable I would do a very slow taper, i was desperate to feel normal again so i agreed... I was pulled from the gabapentin after being on it for only 9 days... but with no taper and put back on the klonopin. Only this time it was not really working... I am well aware of Heather Ashton, slow tappering, micro tappering, and the effects benzos have on our gaba receptors... i personaly think Ashton is to highly regarded... I think the cross over to valium is a bad idea and does not work out for a lot of people... i respect the work she did, and her research, but that information is out dated and had needed to be continued and expanded upon. I do not agree all benzos effect the brain the same way the only difference is half life... My doctor thought going on valium would be my best option because of the long half life.... but there was no transition, it was just simply stop the Klonopin 1 day and start on 8mg diazapam the next... valiums main chemical of action breaks down in just 4 hours, while the rest of it just builds up in our systems... so the relief factor is short, while the rest of the chemicals just build up. Where I am at now I am currently taking 3 mg of Valium in the morning and 3 mg of Valium at night as well as 300 mg of Gabapentin in the morning and 300 mg at night ( yes im back on the gaba... mainly because the lack of sleep that started after my 2nd valium cut was just killing me) . This process is drawn out for the better part of a year now, and I'm still not medication free, and I'm still suffering insomnia, anxiety, and a sense of detachment. What I'm really wondering is if anyone has been on this combination of medications, and how they approached the taper. It doesn't matter which one I cut, I feel the effects of both in very much the same way with the same type of symptoms. Should I be tapering say half a milligram of Valium every two weeks, and 100 mg of Gabapentin every 2 weeks? Or tackle one at a time??? I apologize as this intro has turn into a book, I'm just very desperate for answers from people who have been through this I'm not seeking medical advice just personal experiences. My doctor and my pharmacist both say that what I'm experiencing is impossible given my dosage. But i know better. Just last year I was a highly functioning, healthy , strong, muscular, independent hard-working man, that ate a very healthy diet. After taking the Klonopin for just 17 days, the aftermath has been the loss of my job, i've had to move in with my sister for the time being. And all any doctor wants to do is give me more drugs or up my doses. I know the reality is this is a side effect kind of withdrawal from the medication so I refuse to do that. I have had a ton of blood work, and other neurological tests that are all perfectly normal I currently take both ionic and threonate magnesium in the middle of the day. I dont know if it helps ot not... i still eat healthy and walk at least 3 miles a day. SYMPTOMS I have lost 10 pounds of muscle, i have diahrea everyday I have benign faciculation dissorter My hands are shakey I have a massive panic attack in the middle of the night that wakes me up After the panic attqck at night I spend the rest of my hours in stage 2 of sleep ( where i feel like im not sleeping but i actually am) during this time i have a constant stream of thoughts, songs stuck in my head, and thins that make literaly no sense at all... I sleep between 2 and 6 hours per night. I have daytime anxiety mainly in the afternoon. Thank you, and best wishes to all of you.
  12. Hi All, Firstly thanks for the excellent site and taking the time to review my post. History is long, so in the interest of time, 20 yrs on SSRI's (i've tried virtually all but had most luck with prozac and lexapro) with a 4 month bout of Remeron (awful w/d not helped by cross taper) and benzo's on/off for 8 years or so. Benzo: I've successfully switched from .5mg of clonazepam/day to 10mg valium and i'm now at 2mg per day. A bit more about this below. SSRI: Was on 20 mg for celexa for the last several months but completely zombified so decided it's finally time to be done with this sh1t I dropped relatively quickly per docs orders with really no impact down to 5mg celexa completely stopping the celexa and valium on May 1. Started 10 mg prozac only May 1, by May 4 really awful DR with anxiety, inability to focus, sleeplesness, headaches. Reinstated 1-2 mg valium which helped a little bit. Yesterday i tested the waters and dropped the prozac down to 5 mg to see if agitation was from that which resulted in bad anxiety, chills,and shaking. Took the other 5 g prozac and an additional 1mg valium which helped a bit. Today slightly better back at 10mg prozac and 2mg valium in the morning. I have a pdoc appointment tomorrow and really don't know what to do and not sure i trust his opinion frankly but do believe he will be fine with what i recommend. I consider these the following my options: 1.) Reinstate celexa at last dose (5mg?), drop prozac entirely after a week or 2, and keep valium, then micro taper off at 10% per 3 weeks or so. 2.) Hold steady on prozac and valium for awhile (how long?) then micro taper 3.) Something else? Any thoughts are much appreciated and i apologize for any incoherence in this post but just got back from work trip and wanted to get this out there for the educated folks to review asap. Many thanks for any input and your time!!! methuselah
  13. Moderator note: Link to benzo forum thread: summitbound: Poly-drugged: Thinking about tapering an AD w/ benzo Hello, I'm brand new to this site. I've been so busy learning about benzo tapering (and suffering!) on benzobuddies.org that I have yet to tackle getting off any of my antidepressants. I've already been tapering the benzo for over a year. I know that the general rule is to taper off your benzos first, and then work on your antidepressants. That said, I probably have a year or more left on my benzo taper and I hate being poly drugged with three antidepressants. I'd like to safely chip away at at least one of them. I think the mirtazipine is really helping with my sleep during bezno withdrawal, so I don't think I want to touch it. It seems like the low hanging fruit would be the lithium, since it seems I'm on a less than theraputic dose at 675 mg. Thoughts? So far, I have been "blessed" during my benzo taper in that I have not suffered from depression, severe anxiety, or panic. So I do want to tread carefully. Thanks so much!
  14. Lili

    Lili: Benzo/AD

    Hi, I'm brand new here and I'm struggling. I had a rough 2017. I was put on Ativan for sleep 6/20/17 & then on temazapam 6/23/7- I didn't know they were both benzos. I tapered off Ativan for 2 months and what ensued was a horrific withdrawal scenario that landed me in a psych ward with extreme suicidal ideation. I was reinstated on Valium and pretty much stabilized by end of December 2017. I went off Lexapro in the fall as I didn't want to be on an antidepressant but was put on Cymbalta 11/2017 first at 30 mg, then 60mg 2 weeks later. I didn't know so I started dropping down at beginning of January , had some anxiety, restlessness, so I went back up to 50mg over the course of a few days. Presently, some insomnia, some irregular heart beats and lessening anxiety. My Dr doesn't know about my Cymbalta escapade & thinks I can microtaper my Valium now. I will have to be forthcoming at my next visit in 3 weeks. I'm so worried about stabilizing and how this is going to affect my taper.
  15. Hello there good people. Nice to meet you all. I am so relieved that I have found folks that know what I am going through. I am 61 years old and have just carefully and slowly weaned myself off Sertraline and Diazepam which I have been on since December 2014. At the moment I have cancer of the larynx so it was imperative I got off the meds so that I can work on getting my immune system fully up and running. I also gave up tobacco and alcohol in December 2014 so my body has a lot to do. And I now have a tracheostomy as a way to buy time as I have decided not to go for chemo or radio. I have a very old dog who is suffering from kidney failure and dementia so between us we present a truly thrilling picture of good health and sanity - she pees on the carpet a lot and I have panic attacks. Most attractive! It will be wonderful to be able to talk about what I am going through to people who know about it. Nobody else I know has any experience of this problem so I feel very alone with it which I know is not a good thing. My son (not living with me) is very supportive but I want to keep him out of this as much as I can as he has his own life to live. I also look forward to being able to offer support to other people when I am feeling a bit less stressed. At the moment I am having lots of fear thoughts which can be quite overwhelming. I have lots of other symptoms but this is the one I am finding difficult to deal with at the moment. I shall stop now before I get carried away. Thank you for your time.
  16. Moderator's note: link to Musk's members-only benzo thread - Musk: how to taper 5 mg diazepam every two days Hello, this is my first post. So grateful to find this forum. I am in Spain, not able to comunicate properly in english, I use googletraslator. My history: since spring 2015, postnatal depression with anxiety and somatization due to extreme fear of diseases, especially autoimmune diseases. Sertraline 100 mg & diazepam 5 mg from June 2016 to August 2017. Right after appendicitis with surgery (28 august 2017) and chronic hip and lumbar pain since 4 months. In consultation of rheumatology I discover that I have a hlab27 gene related to ankylosing spondylitis, which conditions me mentally more and more. But pain has not an inflammatory pattern and there is no sign of inflammation in blood. Now progressively more and more depressed with new symptom really the most disabling: severe insomnia. Medical proposal: return to sertraline. Big temptation, but I refuse. I continue with diazepam 5 mg (ocasionaly). Is this a possible case of withdrawal sindrome? Opinions welcome. In psycotherapy, I had some little epyphany (childhood trauma, obsesive negative thoughts...) Many many thanks.
  17. Hi everyone, i'm a 37yo male and I need advice on tapering. I seen a MD and first ever meds prescribed to me were in 2013. Wellbutrin 150 mg SR & 0.5mg Xanax as needed. Over the next 3-4 years was given effexor, Lexapro, prozac, paxil, Zoloft and others I cannot remember. Xanax was upped to 1mg 3x daily. Before seeing a psychiatrist was taking Xanax at irregular doses of 1-3mg at a time but usually not daily. Average 60mg a month. So I started to have lots of extra building up. After I was prescribed Valium from the psychiatrist I flushed all the Xanax down the toilet. Since then I've been taking 10mg Valium every 2 days. The psych said it would be fine to switch straight to the Valium. Didn't have any WD. Not sure if my body can go cold turkey on a benzo though because of what I've read on the internet. Glad I found this forum. In June at my first appointment with the psych I was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed trileptal 300mg twice daily which was tapered upwards over 2 weeks. 150mg SR Wellbutrin in the morning. I forget the lithium dose and the gabapentin because the bottles were huge and I refused to take them. I did take the trileptal and Wellbutrin and still do. I've been on and off Wellbutrin for 4 years. Mostly off. 2nd appointment told the doc I wasn't going to take the lithium or gabapentin. He convinced me to take the gabapentin and the dose was tapered to 2400mg over several weeks. 3rd appointment I was always feeling jittery and told him my short term memory was really bad. Got asked a bunch of questions and diagnosed with ADHD. Prescribed Adderall 20mg 3x a day. It was also tapered upwards over a few weeks. I asked to switch to Valium because I read that it's easier to withdraw from. I had not tried to stop taking Xanax since it was prescribed. I didn't tell him my plan was to quit benzos entirely but I was scared from what I had read on the internet. I'm feeling worse on these drugs than I did without them. What started with a visit to my MD because I was feeling down and maybe depressed has lead me to this cocktail of drugs. I'm not feeling myself and have no motivation or interest in things that I used to take joy in.I'm scared this is permanent and I want to get off all my meds. I read the forums about tapering but I'm totally lost on what med to start with. Can someone give me some advice please.
  18. Moderator note: Link to Nikki74's benzo thread: lexapro kindling akasthesia Mirtazipine diazepam Help. i recently stopped lexapro after a short taper from ten to five mg over 9 days. i had been on 20mg since 2011 then tapered quickly in June and stopped. This was a few weeks after stopping pregabalin 150mg v abruptly. all this time I was also on 15mg Mirtazipine. my anxiety went crazy and gp told me to double Mirtazipine dose to 30. I lasted 3 weeks of hellish symptoms and was put on diazepam and Zopiclone. im now off Zopiclone which was tough. 6 weeks ago GP told me to go back to 15mg Mirtazipine and add in 10mg lexapro. This didn't help so now have stopped lexapro three days ago but took 2.5 mg last night as am feeling withdrawal. gp wants me to start tapering diazepam as I'm getting worse akasthesia when it wears off or even a paradoxical reaction to it. i have akasthesia. Insomnia. Severe anxiety. Shaking. Muscle weakness. Obsessive thoughts and suicidal ideation as cannot go on like this. The only brief ride break I get is the 15mg Mirtazipine which calms me for 2-3 hours. How can I go on? i am a single mum and have CFS already for many years. do I stay off the Lexapro now? How do I cope with withdrawals, akasthesia, and tapering diazepam?? I take 7mg a day been on it three months. i can't stop in one place and am smoking (just tobacco) every half hour. i got sober in 2013. this is hell.
  19. I have been in chronic pain for five years -- on and off various medication for five years (which never decreased my pain and did a number on my CNS). I can't tell what is a pain symptom, side effect or withdrawal at this point. You can see some history in my signature. My plan was to withdraw from Valium first, then Gabapentin, then Zoloft, but I've been tapering slowly off Gabapentin and Valium at the same time. I also made a jump from 25mgs of Zoloft to 12.5mg of Zoloft 8/10/17. I was only taking 25mg of Zoloft since 6/16/17, Then before that, 10mg Paxil from 2/16/ - 6/14/17, which I halved, stopped and switched to Zoloft. My quick withdrawals from ADs may be causing some side effects. Now I'm thinking since I stared Mirtazapine 7.5mg at night (which finally is enabling me to sleep), I should wean the Zoloft first (before the Valium). I would like to micro taper all three together. Comments please? Thanks, Medication Tapering Schedule.pdf
  20. Moderator note - link to Severntiger's benzo thread: Severntiger: Tried Valium Cold Turkey - Evil side effects - Now Attempting Tapering I am 39. I have had chronic insomnia and anxiety all my life. From age 14 I have had drug and alcohol addiction and dependency problems. In 2014 I discovered, through a friend, an illicit source of good quality Valium where I could get as much as I wanted when I wanted through the post. I started off using them as "occasional use" to help me sleep when there was an emergency situation the next day, e.g. job interview, having to move home but then it quickly turned into using them for stressful situations, e.g. noisy flatmates, stress at work etc. and that of course turned into most days. So for the last 2 and a half years I have been taking Valium more days than not with an average dose of 52mg a day. I started to get seriously worried about my sleeping pill consumption end of 2015 and so in 2016 and 2017 I have recorded my Valium (and other sleeping tablet) consumption every single day. Therefore I have been able to work out each month how many days I took Valium and what the average dose is. Oddly my Valium consumption has been sporadic, e.g. not every day or the same amount every day. e.g. my latest record before I decided to try cold turkey. 06/07/2017 – 30mg 07/07/2017 – 30mg 08/07/2017 – 30mg 09/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 10/07/2017 – 60mg 11/07/2017 – 90mg 12/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 13/07/2017 – 80mg 14/07/2017 - Clean 15/07/2017 - Clean 16/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 17/07/2017 - Clean 18/07/2017 - Clean 19/07/2017 – 30mg 20/07/2017 – 30mg 21/07/2017 – 120mg 22/07/2017 – Didn’t sleep as too much Mephadrone 23/07/2017 – 90mg 24/07/2017 – 60mg 25/07/2017 – 60mg 26/07/2017 – 80mg I then tried to go cold turkey, using Zopiclone to help sleep, until I ended up taking 75mg of Zopiclone on 02/08/2017 and 03/08/2017 and hallucinating and going AWOL and not being able to function at work or outside work. Last Friday 4th August, 5 days ago, I then threw all my Zopiclone in the bin and decided I was going to come off everything. And its here that the nightmare has started For 4 days I didn’t sleep a wink, apart from 3 hours passing out after necking a bottle of wine at 3am one night. I had the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have ever had. I felt that my skin was crawling, apparantly. My flat mate said I was wide eyed, on edge, jumpy and acting crazy. Sunday night after 3 Nitol I still couldn’t sleep a wink and Monday (2 days ago) I tried to go into work but couldn’t function properly ( I am trying to hold down a Management Accountant job) and after another sleepness night and rising panic I had to admit defeat, phone in sick yesterday (Tuesday) and look to the internet for help where I learnt that going Cold Turkey was the worst thing to do and that Valium was worse to come of than herion. So I panicked big time and went to the doctor. Thankfully the doctor was very nice and agreed that tapering off was the best solution and he would help me come off them legitimatly so no need for the black market. I am now on 20mg a day for 4 weeks then to go back to him and see where I am and try to reduce the amount. He hopes I can get off them by Christmas. I took 20mg last night and immediately calmed down and slept for 5-6 hours and feel shattered but much better today. My question is: Do I now go onto 20mg every evening before bed? Or do I try to go without any Valium every now and again and see how many clean days I can get before any side effects kick in in which case I can just take 20mg again before bed?
  21. William

    William: Hello!

    Good morning people! Just wanted to introduce myself and share my experiences with fellow like minded antidepressant survivors! Was first prescribed SSRI's in 2012 due to severe anxiety and suicide attempts (lucky to be alive) Took Mirtazapine for a year or so. Made me a bit drowsy, didnt notice any improvements so came off it, cold turkey, but no symptoms/side effects A year later went back to my GP (big mistake!) and he decided on prescribing Zoloft. I had a very severe reaction to this medication. Its difficult to remember all the side effects i had but i'll try to list them. Depersonalisation. Erectyle dysfunction. Sensitive CNS. Tinnitus. Insomnia. Sickness. Diarrhea. Feeling dreadful all day. No energy. No happiness. Anger. Could not talk. It will be 3 years this XMAS and i am still nowhere healed. I still have tinnitus. Sensitive CNS and feel awful every single day I have seen 12 doctors during this period. No one really believes me A Neurologist at the hospital basically kicked me out my appointment and said its all in my head I am so angry with the medical community I traveled the world and worked in financial services prior to this reaction, now i am on the sofa being cared for by my girlfriend I read the success stories on this forum and they give me hope, but its difficult to carry on when i have little improvement I bet your wondering, why are you only posting now? This forum scared me when i saw people say it took years to recover. When it happened i thought i would be one of the lucky ones who would heal in 3-6 months. WRONG! I currently take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis. But the last time i took some was months ago. I save them for when i need to be somewhere and acting normal (e.g. funerals/xmas time etc) I spend my time on the sofa, in bed or in the bath. It is a tuely miserable existance. So, here I am. My name is William and in live in England. From reading these forums i have all the answers i need. Patience and time are my friends. But happy to connect with people currently suffering through the lies of Big Pharma Have a good day all Will
  22. Moderator note: link to jenthorz's members-only benzo thread My name is Jennifer. Been on some form of antidepressants and/ or benzo starting off and on since age 16. I'm 45 now. Life's been challenging non-stop. Some because of poor decisions, some from trauma, and some from just being an anxious and fearful person. Married too young. Must be all my Daddy issues. Had baby at 18. Divorced that guy. Brother died around then at age 14. Was hit by two drunk drivers December 12, 1989. Married again later to someone I knew was good for me and son. Thought I would learn to love him. Sure you know how that ended up, but during that time 3 more children. 1 girl and a pair of twin boys. All wonderful. My oldest has Severe Autism and scizophrenia. First 7 years were difficult but manageable and his intermittent explosive disorder was dealable. I love him very much. Age 12 hit him and then whammo!! Rapid growth and his episodes became so violent I usually ended up looking like hamburger after. He bit hard you see. Doing that for 21 years gave me PTSD. I'll spare you the details. Anyway, I'd have to write a book to explain all the heartbreak, so I'll just end it here with my current med situation. Depression/Anxiety Disorder and PTSDZoloft 75 mg. And Valium 15 mg a day, but tapered to 1.5 mg. A day over the course of months. Keeping Zoloft at current dose until well off Valium. Valium also assisted with vertigo not just panic attacks. Most bothersome withdrawal symptoms during taper: night sweats, zaps, eyesight changes, insomnia, queasiness, nightmares, concentration issues, and extreme fatigue. Thank you for letting me join. Besides all that above, I'm a pretty insightful, intelligent, kind, and funny gal. Nice to be here.
  23. JanCarol

    Australian Valium Recall by TGA

    Valium 5 mg recalled - suspected Tampering
  24. Moderator's note: Link to AwareButStruggling's benzo forum thread Hello, I have been going through a very symptomatic taper off of benzodiazepines, and my goal is to keep gradually tapering the Ativan-first, as it is a very potent, short-acting benzodiazepine. I am very familiar with Ashton manual and have found a lot of information on benzodiazepine tapering, but am finding it hard to communicate the bizarreness of symptoms to those who have not been afflicted. I am also wondering if my fairly abrupt discontinuation of Prozac after 16 years of use has worsened the benzodiazepine withdrawal. For roughly around 13 years, 20mg of Prozac was my one and only psychiatric drug. I had some side-effects on it, but my experience with it was not as bad. At times, I could go down to 10mg but could never quite go off of it. Still, I worked, functioned, and my emotions were very much there. I do speculate, that, after a while, Prozac wasn't really as effective. However, at the same time, I'm pretty sure it was masking the depressive effects of sporadic Ativan use. After a while, the ativan has really sensitized my CNS, all the while I thought it was Prozac doing that, so I tapered the Prozac off in a month, and also stopped taking ativan for a month minus a couple of doses. But looking back, I am not sure if that was the best decision, because I found myself really depressed and disoriented and kept myself on a maintenance dose of ativan just to keep functioning. However, I kept getting worse and worse, not realizing that the prolonged use of ativan along with high stress was worsening the anxiety I was feeling. I kept going to my doctor and he kept giving me Prozac again, which, once a gentle AD for me, turned into a harsh stimulant. I was also given lexapro, and I tried a few doses, and cut the 10mg tablet in half, but 5mg was too much. Then I tried Lexapro 2.5 (5mg tablet cut in two) and that was too much, as well. I didn't dare try Wellbutrin. I tried 5mg Prozac through this dismal period and even that was stimulating. So, I've arrived to the conclusion that antidepressants will never be an option for me again, and that a slow gradual taper off of ativan, and then valium and then Gabapentin may be the only way to go. I tried a full crossover to valium, but due to such differences in potency and all the crashes and burns due to to all medication starts and stops and changes, I am petrified of trying anything new and just want to reduce the chemical dependency on these psych meds as much as I can and in a safe manner. Currently tapering abut 0,02mg ativan per week or so. Planning a hold once I reach 0.5mg. I come from a background where anxiolytics and anti-depressants were considered to be very effective tools, and, needless to say, due to my experiences, my relationships to these medications have drastically changed.
  25. Hi, I am feeling rather desperate with increasing symtoms. Here goes: I have been microtapering Valium since 2012 without major problems. Also on Sertralin 25 mg since 2007. In september 2016 I accidentely missed a dose Valium, 0,30 mg and went into withdrawal. Continued microtaper (tital 0,03mg) until Feb 2017. Was symptomatic. Then started new batch Sertralin (same dose 25 mg) and the day after developed new symtoms - very dry burning mouth, dizzieness, derealisation. New symtoms for me. Called manufacturer who confirmed that new batch was 1% more potent. Waited two weeks for stabilisation which did not happen. Developed nightly panicattacks and agitation. Decreased Sertalin 1%. Better for one week. Now increasingly more severe symtoms by the day with occasional windows. What is happening? What should I do? Thanks for you advice.
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