Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'Valium'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • Support
    • Read This First
    • Introductions and updates
    • Tapering
    • Symptoms and self-care
    • Finding meaning
    • Relationships and social life
  • Members only
  • Current events
    • Success stories: Recovery from withdrawal
    • Events, controversies, actions
    • In the media
    • From journals and scientific sources

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Found 50 results

  1. Currently trying to withdraw from Valium and really struggling with anxiety. I'm down at 5.62mgs.I'm doing a daily micro taper which is getting ridiculously slow. Started taking 10 mgs of Citralopram about 4 months to pick me up and help me with anxiety. It's does nothing though when Valium withdrawal hits. Wondering should I quit it as I don't want to get hooked on another drug? Can I quit it now as I'm on Valium? If so how do I go about it? Is there anything else that helps with anxiety?
  2. Hi everyone, i'm a 37yo male and I need advice on tapering. I seen a MD and first ever meds prescribed to me were in 2013. Wellbutrin 150 mg SR & 0.5mg Xanax as needed. Over the next 3-4 years was given effexor, Lexapro, prozac, paxil, Zoloft and others I cannot remember. Xanax was upped to 1mg 3x daily. Before seeing a psychiatrist was taking Xanax at irregular doses of 1-3mg at a time but usually not daily. Average 60mg a month. So I started to have lots of extra building up. After I was prescribed Valium from the psychiatrist I flushed all the Xanax down the toilet. Since then I've been taking 10mg Valium every 2 days. The psych said it would be fine to switch straight to the Valium. Didn't have any WD. Not sure if my body can go cold turkey on a benzo though because of what I've read on the internet. Glad I found this forum. In June at my first appointment with the psych I was diagnosed bipolar and prescribed trileptal 300mg twice daily which was tapered upwards over 2 weeks. 150mg SR Wellbutrin in the morning. I forget the lithium dose and the gabapentin because the bottles were huge and I refused to take them. I did take the trileptal and Wellbutrin and still do. I've been on and off Wellbutrin for 4 years. Mostly off. 2nd appointment told the doc I wasn't going to take the lithium or gabapentin. He convinced me to take the gabapentin and the dose was tapered to 2400mg over several weeks. 3rd appointment I was always feeling jittery and told him my short term memory was really bad. Got asked a bunch of questions and diagnosed with ADHD. Prescribed Adderall 20mg 3x a day. It was also tapered upwards over a few weeks. I asked to switch to Valium because I read that it's easier to withdraw from. I had not tried to stop taking Xanax since it was prescribed. I didn't tell him my plan was to quit benzos entirely but I was scared from what I had read on the internet. I'm feeling worse on these drugs than I did without them. What started with a visit to my MD because I was feeling down and maybe depressed has lead me to this cocktail of drugs. I'm not feeling myself and have no motivation or interest in things that I used to take joy in.I'm scared this is permanent and I want to get off all my meds. I read the forums about tapering but I'm totally lost on what med to start with. Can someone give me some advice please.
  3. I have been in chronic pain for five years -- on and off various medication for five years (which never decreased my pain and did a number on my CNS). I can't tell what is a pain symptom, side effect or withdrawal at this point. You can see some history in my signature. My plan was to withdraw from Valium first, then Gabapentin, then Zoloft, but I've been tapering slowly off Gabapentin and Valium at the same time. I also made a jump from 25mgs of Zoloft to 12.5mg of Zoloft 8/10/17. I was only taking 25mg of Zoloft since 6/16/17, Then before that, 10mg Paxil from 2/16/ - 6/14/17, which I halved, stopped and switched to Zoloft. My quick withdrawals from ADs may be causing some side effects. Now I'm thinking since I stared Mirtazapine 7.5mg at night (which finally is enabling me to sleep), I should wean the Zoloft first (before the Valium). I would like to micro taper all three together. Comments please? Thanks, Medication Tapering Schedule.pdf
  4. Moderator Note: Link to Maresat's benzo thread Posted 15 March 2017 - 10:08 PM Hi , I'm new here .... I've read a lot of posts and found some great advice and wisdom relative to WDs . I started my Valium taper at 10 mgs June 2016 , after a very difficult cross from klonopin that was pretty horrific. I kinda wished I had been more informed and had tried tapering direct from klonopin , but I only knew the Ashton method at that point and thought it was the way to go. Anyway , since June , I don't know if I was ever really stable on the V. My nervous system was so messed up from the crossover, ( and I think from my steroid CT ) but I thought I could just go ahead and begin the V taper at the Ashton rate. After the first mg things got really bad. ( mostly bed bound, terrible burning flesh and skin, stomach pains , concrete head, memory issues, difficulty walking , zero stress tolerance, hypersensitivity to sound and more) By September I had to hold my taper at 81/4 mgs V. every time I have tried to cut the tiniest amount ( liquid MT), I get thrown back into crippling WDs . I am hypersensitive to everything , cannot work or even socialize in any way, a lot of pain and constant burning skin and flesh. I hate how sedating the V is , I dose three times a day. Most of my symptoms are physical . I have managed to get down almost to 8 mgs Since the end of September, just making little reductions here and there, but they always hit me really hard and take weeks to recover from. I don't know how to proceed. It seems my only option is to keep holding and trying to cut little bits when I feel I can. I was only on benzos daily for 6 months , and can't believe this is so hard. Is anyone else THIS sensitive ? I have reduced my gabapentin from 900 mgs to 415 mgs , I'm not absolutely sure when I started that , sometime in 2016. I have been advised that for now it would best to hold tapering the gabapentin , as even though I haven't felt any particular WDs from it , it could be influencing my Valium taper. I definitely feel the Valium cuts very specifically though. I do want to get lower in dose on my Valium , that I feel is my first priority. I haven't been non symptomatic since the start of this taper. I'd really like to find a way to taper where I can have a bit of a life while I do it. I just wonder if anyone else has similar experience . I will feel 1/30th of a 1/4 mg cut of V! At this rate it would take me 6-8 years to come off.... i suppose I wouldn't mind if I can live a life in the meantime. Thanks in advance for any experience or encouragement you may have. Maresat Ps , I couldn't fit my supplements in my sig, so here they are- I do take magnesium in a liquid sea mineral form , and know to take it 2 hours away from gabapentin - about 100 mgs day Milk thistle, biotin-1,000 mg, Pantethine-300 mg, ester c-100mg, krill oil-1000 mg,saffron-88 mgs, lactium-167 mgs, citicoline-300 mgs,niacinamide-500-1,000 mgs, l-lysine-500 mg, zinc piconolate-15 mg
  5. Moderator note - link to Severntiger's benzo thread: Severntiger: Tried Valium Cold Turkey - Evil side effects - Now Attempting Tapering I am 39. I have had chronic insomnia and anxiety all my life. From age 14 I have had drug and alcohol addiction and dependency problems. In 2014 I discovered, through a friend, an illicit source of good quality Valium where I could get as much as I wanted when I wanted through the post. I started off using them as "occasional use" to help me sleep when there was an emergency situation the next day, e.g. job interview, having to move home but then it quickly turned into using them for stressful situations, e.g. noisy flatmates, stress at work etc. and that of course turned into most days. So for the last 2 and a half years I have been taking Valium more days than not with an average dose of 52mg a day. I started to get seriously worried about my sleeping pill consumption end of 2015 and so in 2016 and 2017 I have recorded my Valium (and other sleeping tablet) consumption every single day. Therefore I have been able to work out each month how many days I took Valium and what the average dose is. Oddly my Valium consumption has been sporadic, e.g. not every day or the same amount every day. e.g. my latest record before I decided to try cold turkey. 06/07/2017 – 30mg 07/07/2017 – 30mg 08/07/2017 – 30mg 09/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 10/07/2017 – 60mg 11/07/2017 – 90mg 12/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 13/07/2017 – 80mg 14/07/2017 - Clean 15/07/2017 - Clean 16/07/2017 – 1 Nitol 17/07/2017 - Clean 18/07/2017 - Clean 19/07/2017 – 30mg 20/07/2017 – 30mg 21/07/2017 – 120mg 22/07/2017 – Didn’t sleep as too much Mephadrone 23/07/2017 – 90mg 24/07/2017 – 60mg 25/07/2017 – 60mg 26/07/2017 – 80mg I then tried to go cold turkey, using Zopiclone to help sleep, until I ended up taking 75mg of Zopiclone on 02/08/2017 and 03/08/2017 and hallucinating and going AWOL and not being able to function at work or outside work. Last Friday 4th August, 5 days ago, I then threw all my Zopiclone in the bin and decided I was going to come off everything. And its here that the nightmare has started For 4 days I didn’t sleep a wink, apart from 3 hours passing out after necking a bottle of wine at 3am one night. I had the worst anxiety/panic attacks I have ever had. I felt that my skin was crawling, apparantly. My flat mate said I was wide eyed, on edge, jumpy and acting crazy. Sunday night after 3 Nitol I still couldn’t sleep a wink and Monday (2 days ago) I tried to go into work but couldn’t function properly ( I am trying to hold down a Management Accountant job) and after another sleepness night and rising panic I had to admit defeat, phone in sick yesterday (Tuesday) and look to the internet for help where I learnt that going Cold Turkey was the worst thing to do and that Valium was worse to come of than herion. So I panicked big time and went to the doctor. Thankfully the doctor was very nice and agreed that tapering off was the best solution and he would help me come off them legitimatly so no need for the black market. I am now on 20mg a day for 4 weeks then to go back to him and see where I am and try to reduce the amount. He hopes I can get off them by Christmas. I took 20mg last night and immediately calmed down and slept for 5-6 hours and feel shattered but much better today. My question is: Do I now go onto 20mg every evening before bed? Or do I try to go without any Valium every now and again and see how many clean days I can get before any side effects kick in in which case I can just take 20mg again before bed?
  6. Moderator note: link to jenthorz's members-only benzo thread My name is Jennifer. Been on some form of antidepressants and/ or benzo starting off and on since age 16. I'm 45 now. Life's been challenging non-stop. Some because of poor decisions, some from trauma, and some from just being an anxious and fearful person. Married too young. Must be all my Daddy issues. Had baby at 18. Divorced that guy. Brother died around then at age 14. Was hit by two drunk drivers December 12, 1989. Married again later to someone I knew was good for me and son. Thought I would learn to love him. Sure you know how that ended up, but during that time 3 more children. 1 girl and a pair of twin boys. All wonderful. My oldest has Severe Autism and scizophrenia. First 7 years were difficult but manageable and his intermittent explosive disorder was dealable. I love him very much. Age 12 hit him and then whammo!! Rapid growth and his episodes became so violent I usually ended up looking like hamburger after. He bit hard you see. Doing that for 21 years gave me PTSD. I'll spare you the details. Anyway, I'd have to write a book to explain all the heartbreak, so I'll just end it here with my current med situation. Depression/Anxiety Disorder and PTSDZoloft 75 mg. And Valium 15 mg a day, but tapered to 1.5 mg. A day over the course of months. Keeping Zoloft at current dose until well off Valium. Valium also assisted with vertigo not just panic attacks. Most bothersome withdrawal symptoms during taper: night sweats, zaps, eyesight changes, insomnia, queasiness, nightmares, concentration issues, and extreme fatigue. Thank you for letting me join. Besides all that above, I'm a pretty insightful, intelligent, kind, and funny gal. Nice to be here.
  7. William

    William: Hello!

    Good morning people! Just wanted to introduce myself and share my experiences with fellow like minded antidepressant survivors! Was first prescribed SSRI's in 2012 due to severe anxiety and suicide attempts (lucky to be alive) Took Mirtazapine for a year or so. Made me a bit drowsy, didnt notice any improvements so came off it, cold turkey, but no symptoms/side effects A year later went back to my GP (big mistake!) and he decided on prescribing Zoloft. I had a very severe reaction to this medication. Its difficult to remember all the side effects i had but i'll try to list them. Depersonalisation. Erectyle dysfunction. Sensitive CNS. Tinnitus. Insomnia. Sickness. Diarrhea. Feeling dreadful all day. No energy. No happiness. Anger. Could not talk. It will be 3 years this XMAS and i am still nowhere healed. I still have tinnitus. Sensitive CNS and feel awful every single day I have seen 12 doctors during this period. No one really believes me A Neurologist at the hospital basically kicked me out my appointment and said its all in my head I am so angry with the medical community I traveled the world and worked in financial services prior to this reaction, now i am on the sofa being cared for by my girlfriend I read the success stories on this forum and they give me hope, but its difficult to carry on when i have little improvement I bet your wondering, why are you only posting now? This forum scared me when i saw people say it took years to recover. When it happened i thought i would be one of the lucky ones who would heal in 3-6 months. WRONG! I currently take 5mg Valium on a as needed basis. But the last time i took some was months ago. I save them for when i need to be somewhere and acting normal (e.g. funerals/xmas time etc) I spend my time on the sofa, in bed or in the bath. It is a tuely miserable existance. So, here I am. My name is William and in live in England. From reading these forums i have all the answers i need. Patience and time are my friends. But happy to connect with people currently suffering through the lies of Big Pharma Have a good day all Will
  8. Hi, I am feeling rather desperate with increasing symtoms. Here goes: I have been microtapering Valium since 2012 without major problems. Also on Sertralin 25 mg since 2007. In september 2016 I accidentely missed a dose Valium, 0,30 mg and went into withdrawal. Continued microtaper (tital 0,03mg) until Feb 2017. Was symptomatic. Then started new batch Sertralin (same dose 25 mg) and the day after developed new symtoms - very dry burning mouth, dizzieness, derealisation. New symtoms for me. Called manufacturer who confirmed that new batch was 1% more potent. Waited two weeks for stabilisation which did not happen. Developed nightly panicattacks and agitation. Decreased Sertalin 1%. Better for one week. Now increasingly more severe symtoms by the day with occasional windows. What is happening? What should I do? Thanks for you advice.
  9. JanCarol

    Australian Valium Recall by TGA

    Valium 5 mg recalled - suspected Tampering
  10. Hi, I need to keep this short because I have chronic fatigue & can't concentrate for long. I've been off & on (mostly on) medication for 25 years. I've just come to the conclusion that my Bipolar 2 Dx may be incorrect in that, I think my hypomanic symptoms may be caused by antidepressants. I never had those symptoms before I started taking them. I guess I'll never know for sure :-( I've just been reading about how long term use can turn depression into a chronic disease (if it wasn't already) and about the symptoms of Tardive Dysphoria. Sounds like me. I've been taking Lithium, Cymbalta and a bit of Valium for years now. I feel like I'd like to try to come off the Cymbalta (to start with) but I just wonder if it's too late for me now. I've been reading about how some of the side effects may not be reversible. I've come off meds before and I would use Prozac to get off the Cymbalta as I've done before successfully. But how do you know - two months, six months, a year down the track, if you're still feeling the effects of withdrawal in your moods etc, or if you're back to yourself - or at least as good as you're going to get post years of meds??? Thanks for reading, Zel
  11. Hi All, I thought I would get your opinion on something if thats ok.. I have recently tapered off Cipralex/Lexapro 15mg and was off for about 4 weeks, however withdrawal symptoms became to much for me to handle. I had severe anxiety, insomnia, depression, loss of appetite, not able to concentrate, depersonalisation. It was horrible. My last dose was 5mg and I then decided to go back on 5mg and it has been 7 days and I am experiencing starting up effects again. How long do you think this will last? Will it be as though I am starting from scratch and need to give it 2 -4 weeks? I have done so much research on this now and know that each person reacts differently, I do realise that I tapered too fast though and my Doctor realised too although I did it with his guidance/approval but as we all know who are going through this, Doctors do not have a clue about Withdrawal. My Doctor advised me to go back on 5mg which I did. I would love to hear your thoughts as to how long I should expect for the side effects to start to get better. I was also taking Wellbutrin XL 150mg which I successfully stopped 4 months ago and I am currently also taking Diazepam 2.5mg. I also take Magnesium, fish oil, Vitamin D. Thanks a lot!
  12. Hello, this is zamwessell, and I am new to the forum as of this afternoon. I'd like to give a bit of background, and ask for some advice. Back in mid-July 2015, I had a bout of anxiety and insomnia due to worrying about the beginning of a new relationship. I initially asked for some help for this, and my doc prescribed Wellbutrin, but after 5 days of being numb, I stopped it. Then asked for something different and was prescribed Ambien 5 mg. Was on that for 16 days, but it was not working to get me to sleep, so I ended up at a Psych ER at the local university hospital. They suggested Remeron, so I went on that at 7.5 mg to begin with. That combination was still not working, and I ended up in the hospital for 5 days, where they took me off Ambien and put me on Ativan. I'm sorry to say, I don't remember the exact dosage, but I believe it was 1 mg in am and 1 mg in pm. I was able to taper off of that beginning October of 2015, after switching to Valium. Over the course of a couple of months, I reached the final dose of Remeron that my doc and I agreed on: 30 mg. I was on that, doing well, until mid-September of last year, when we decided things were stable enough in my life that I could start tapering off that. Not knowing any better, we agreed on a taper schedule: 3 weeks each at 22.5 mg, 15 mg, 7.5 mg, and 3.75 mg (if I felt I needed to - I did, but probably only stayed at that dosage for a week). Only a week later, I began having pretty bad insomnia, coming in waves, with a few good nights and plenty of bad ones. I also noticed I was very cold, then would get very hot while trying to get to sleep. I also had muscle jerks, just as I was beginning to fall asleep, which would keep me from being able to fall asleep - a vicious cycle. This all continued for 7 weeks, until I couldn't take it any more and contacted my doc. She suggested going back on at a low dose to try to reinstate. I reluctantly agreed and that went well for about 7 nights. Then on nights 8 and 9, I noticed it took me longer to get to sleep, and by night 10 at 7.5, I didn't get any sleep at all. That was a Friday night. I contacted the on-call psychiatrist at the university's psych department, which was my only option on the weekend, and they said going up to 15 mg was fine, so that's what I did. I so wish I had seen this forum prior to trying to reinstate. I definitely would have suggested starting only at 3.75 mg, but, alas, that didn't happen. Not knowing any better, I was under the impression that going back up, maybe even to where I was prior to starting the taper, was what I should do. So, now I've been on the 15 mg for 6 nights. It takes me a couple of hours to get to sleep (I've been taking the dose about 10 pm), and have experienced the brain zaps others have talked about, as well as the muscle jerks just as I'm falling asleep, though to a slightly lesser intensity than when I was in withdrawal. I wake up numerous times, and realize I've been dreaming, so I just try and say to myself that you did get to sleep at some point, so try to get back to sleep. I have been able to get back to sleep, and have probably averaged 4-5 hours these past 6 nights. Last night was worse than the night before, however. My questions are numerous, but I guess the main ones are: have others experienced this scenario, have I gone too high in going up to 15 mg, and what are some recommendations? I know that you all are not doctors, but I'm willing to consider experiences in what others have gone through.
  13. Hi all I'm new to this forum and really in a bad place currently. Last year I was using 20mg valium + 1mg xanax a day for a few months and decided to come off these over Christmas, without having researched the proper way. I tapered off the Xanax by splitting the pills over the course of a week or two and with the valium, tapered again over a few weeks by splitting the pills down. However, this didn't work and left me feeling utterly awful, so on the 3rd of Feb, I web to see my local GP who recommended I start tapering over 3 weeks, starting with 7.5mg, then 5mg, then 2.5mg then nothing. The end result, a few weeks later, is that I have lost my ability to concentrate almost entirely, my sleeping is pretty terrible and anxiety at a very high level. I am due to go see the doctor again in a couple of hours to decide on what needs to be done next. My current biggest fear is that, because I work for myself, I am going to have to declare bankruptcy both personally (I have a 6k credit card debt) and via the company, along with moving out of my rented apartment - to where I don't know, possibly my brother's place as he's the only person in my family with a spare room - and having my entire career and life collapse around me. Having read the Ashton manual (and even showed this to my doctor) I understand the need to taper slowly, but: having tried the doctor's recommendation of a fast taper and finding this doesn't work, is it worth trying to reinstate and then carry out a slow taper? I'm at my wit's end and really cannot see a way out of this: if I wasn't self-employed, I think things would be less bad but at the moment everything seems insurmountable I simply do not know what to do. Any suggestions?
  14. Hi there, I am posting here on behalf of my mom, as my family and I are in a desperate state and not sure where to turn. My mom has had a difficult 7 years of dealing with withdrawing off of a benzodiazepine (Valium). To start, she has learned through her taper process that she is "highly sensitive" and has multiple chemical sensitivity. After experiencing withdrawal symptoms back in summer 2009 from using bioidentical hormones (a steroid) for a short 3 weeks (which at the time she was unaware these were steroids and symptoms were from withdrawal), she ended up in the hospital after not being able to sleep for several days and was prescribed Ativan. After taking Ativan for 3-4 weeks, she decide to stop and after more testing she finally figured out she was suffering from withdrawal symptoms through her own research. She found a doctor willing to work with her and converted to Valium to begin her taper. She started at 4mg and and successfully tapered (Ashton Method) over a 9 month period. In the summer of 2012, a wave hit and she experienced severe withdrawal symptoms and spiraled out all over again. After several hospital visits, she reinstated back on Valium, eventually stabilizing at 7mg, and started an even slower micro-taper from there. In March 2016, she was still not feeling well (even after a 4 year long taper) and decided to hold at 1mg of Valium for several months to see if the withdrawal symptoms would lighten. At the end of October, she crashed with brutal and intense akathisia, extreme fight or flight and withdrawal symptoms. She had 3 visits to the ER. We tried up-dosing to 1.3 mgs to see if that would relieve the restlessness, but it did not. Since then (about 7 weeks), we've been hovering around 1mg of Valium to try and stabilize her, but nothing is working. We are trying to find a stable dose so we can begin the withdrawal process again. She has lost at least 20 lbs (she cannot keep food down due to nausea, gagging, and extreme food sensitivity), has severe burning throughout her entire body-especially when she takes a dose of Valium, she at times feels overdosed or as if the drug is now acting paradoxical in her system, shortness of breath/shallow breathing, several panic attacks throughout the day, sleepless nights (still), constant fight or flight, slurred speech and stuttering, body spasms, a huge knot-like feeling in her gut, extremely depressing thoughts, and extreme food and product sensitivities (even to the most natural shampoo), and I truly could go on... She has given up all hope. If we up-dose the Valium, she feels sluggish and the benzo feels toxic in her system. If we give her less Valium, she experiences withdrawal. She is in agony and feeling pain. She/we are looking for any advice to help with this in the short run. Our number one goal is to reduce her pain/agony, stabilize the dose, and get moving again on the taper - but it truly seems like nothing is working. Over the years, we (especially my mom) have done immense amounts of research on benzo taper and withdrawal and we are truly at a loss as this crash came out of nowhere. We fear there is no way out and are hoping someone out there has experienced something like this and found a way out. All she wants is relief, as she's in constant agony and complete fear day in and day out. Thank you in advance for any comments or advice. We are in tears as we write this... PhiCal & family
  15. Hi, I am new to this forum. I’ve tried to get everything I remember into my signature. Things are really foggy these days. My initial impulse, now that I’m posting an entry here, is to just write: Help! — I’m sinking and I need help. But I’ll try to modulate that a bit and give my history. I’m on Month 5 of Prozac withdrawal, and my second week of no Benzos whatsoever after a few months of tapering off. I only recently discovered this site and I’ve come to realize that I might have not given myself enough time to taper off Prozac. I went off of it over the course of a month too. I have suffered on and off from depression my whole life, with a number of major , debilitating, long depressive episodes. And I have been on lots of SSRIs over the years. About six or seven years ago, after a merry go round of new meds and accompanying new side effects, I went off of psych meds altogether without too much withdrawal trouble . I continued to battle depression but I tried alternative treatments such as nutrition/supplements and neurofeedback along with CBT, which helped me just keep my head above water. Then, 3 years ago, I had a particularly bad spell. I lost my business. Dropped out of a relationship and friendships. In consultation with my psychiatrist, I made the decision of going on Prozac as a last ditch effort. And the prozac helped I think. At the time I remember thinking that it saved my life. Now I'm not so sure it was worth it. No big surprise, The Prozac stopped working after two years or so. And then I was just stuck. I was reluctant to try another SSRI for fear of going through the trial and error test to find something that works without bad side effects. And afraid to go off. Then, this year,l I learned that SSRIs cause the brain to decrease it's serotonin production. Since the Prozac didn't seem to be helping anyway, It seemed the direction to go was OFF the prozac and get through the withdrawal. I didn't think it would be so bad since I had gone off of SSRIs before. I was so wrong. Now I’m in a nightmare. The nightmare many people have written about here. At least after finding this site, I have a bit more understanding of what I’m going through. I have had the leg cramps at night that wake me up. I Simply can’t sleep. I get maybe 2-4 hours a night if I’m lucky. I’m agitated. I feel like I’m crawling out of my skin. I have a continual apocalyptic narrative in my head underscoring everything I do. I despair. I Hate myself and my life. I’m in my 50’s and all I can see are the horrible things about growing old and being alone. I can hardly watch TV because it just offers more material for me to churn through my negative, hopeless perspective. TV used to be an escape. Not anymore. This isn’t like the depression I’ve known most of my adult life. This is like going crazy. I don’t know what to do. I don’t think I can handle more of this. Let alone years more of this. The people on this site are the only ones who have any clue what this is like. I don’t now what to do. Should I go back on antidepressants? My psychiatrist and psychologist think that meds are a necessary evil. I am taking Trazodone for sleep, which I dread getting hooked on so I avoid it if at all possible. And my psychiatrist told that I can take 10 mg of valium a day, no problem, for the anxiety and panic. But I don’t trust that. I’ve gone off of Valium because from what I've read I think that it will just make things worse in the long run. It’s so confusing getting conflicting information from medical professionals. Any advice anyone has about ANY part of this , would be welcome. I have been on the verge of going into an inpatient facility for the last few weeks, but I hesitate because I know they will insist on reinstating some SSRI. Thanks very much.
  16. I do not know differentiate clearly, the withdrawal symptoms, disease, drugs and supplements I took no supplements because Altostrata warned us that no commercial program is good. The best is to do so slowly and patiently removed. I was doing the supplements list TBR to buy, but I suspended it. Currently 1/2 comp clomipramine (Anafranil) 50mg and 10mg Valium middle of composing. It's the first time I try WD reading survivingantidepressants. Always I did on my own. Today the symptoms are weak but sometimes are accentuated. I have symptoms as if anything was a big scare that spreads in seconds, until becoming a huge wave of the sea. Many things become disproportionate for me to bear, but without panic really. Today I travel alone, I submitted myself to surgery without problems,etc... but I have many emotional pain. I feel small, bad thoughts,etc... dizziness, wheezing in the ears, as if listening to the "silence the noise" (beginning two months), and more symptoms that I describe in my signature...and more many, many others symptoms I am very confuse with me and as i sad in Topic Title: i dont know diferenciate bettween those kind of symptoms and dont know if i am right with my WD
  17. I have recently decided to taper off escitalopram as I want to be med free. 29 months ago I finished a valium taper (6mg for 2 years) and am still getting over this. I want to see if coming off the SSRI will help but am doing it really slowly as I'm so sensitive. I would just like some advice. I have been on 10mg for nearly 4 years and currently I am dissolving the tab in 60ml of water and taking out 0.1ml daily. I'm on day 3 and really nervous, however the valium damaged my CNS and I'm still healing. Thank you
  18. Hi, new user been on meds for 8 years or so, varying combinations of ADs, AAPs and benzos. have tapered the last drug (Lexapro) and been going through withdrawal for over 2 months, details are in signature, hopefully it's adequate. i should mention that i am dealing with pretty severe brain fog through this withdrawal, so the way i organize my ideas and structure sentences might be pretty awkward.... OK, it has been 65 days since 2 months since coming off all meds, first it was antipsychotics, then benzodiazepines, and finally antidepressants over the course of several months after being on the meds for 7+ years. overall I feel pretty useless right now, and extremely self conscious and self critical as well. my affect and anxious tone of voice seems to draw attention to myself more often than not, depending on how anxious i am. don't think this is entirely in my head or a mere judgment, i distinctly notice grimacing from people pretty often, or sometimes laughing if i'm walking past a group of people. so it's not entirely irrational. and i often have an extremely difficult time forming proper words and ideas. sometimes i don't even wish to be around my parents. i just don't feel like myself. this feels 20x worse than run of the mill anxiety, especially considering that i have an anxious personality to begin with, so it's anxiety (disorder), on top of anxiety (anxious personality) on top of anxiety (withdrawal symptoms). add to this that i am expected to continue going to school in the fall to complete a polysomnography program (i would be a sleep tech) i honestly do not feel ready at all, yet getting through this polysomnography program could ultimately mean my financial independence and it's even more so a pressing issue considering my father may be retiring next year meaning that i wont have the same health insurance and wont be able to see my current therapist who i feel very comfortable with atm, any longer. other therapists have been deameaning and patronizing because of my timidity. now all that brings me to the question how i can cope with these symptoms so that i don't humiliate myself on a regular basis and become demoralized. my therapist who specializes in ACT tells me to "be present".. he suggests thought defusion exercises, mindfulness, grounding and acceptance. a lot of these concepts are pretty vague to me; what is "acceptance" supposed to look like? what is mindfulness? what are the steps that have to be taken to get to these states, when do i use them, how do i use them? being that i tend to micromanage every little thought feeling and event that goes on in my daily life, these coping skills drives me crazy and brings me more in my head than before leaving me mentally exhausted. are there any supplements that could take the edge off? my biggest fear is being judged to be incompetent and unqualified to do sleep lab work. perhaps i might be told that i'm making the patients or the students uncomfortable. perhaps my fear-laden affect and anxious/passive/unattractive tone of voice will be too off putting for others. i don't even feel that i'lll have sufficient motivation or mental energy to study the material properly. overall i feel like there's a lot of pressure on me to do well when i may not be ready to function yet. yet at the moment i am in a way committed to the program: i have already on more than a few occassions gone back and forth with my decision to complete the program. so if i call the program coordinator again telling her for the fourth or fifth time that i don't feel ready, i will likely not be accepted when i DO feel ready. moreover, explaining my situation and thus letting them know that i have a history of psychiatric issues would probably make acceptance in the future even more unlikely, rather than help the situation. any help at all would be much appreciated.
  19. Hi I am new to this forum, coming from benzobuddies forum. I was on an AD wellbutrin for 7 years and then a P Doc took me off cold turkey and I wound up in a psych hospital for 10 days December 2012, I was reinstated on Wellbutrin in the hospital and upon leaving I found a new P Doc immediately. He diagnosed me with Bipolar ll. He kept me on the Wellbutrin and added Lamictal and 40 mg Valium for insomnia. I became tolerant after 3-4 months to the Valim and I started a micro taper off the 40 mg valium 1/2013. I am currently at 1.5 mg as of 10/01/2014. Withdrawl symptoms were not to severe with the micro taper until 3mg valium. Now down at 1.5 mg withdrawl symptoms are pretty intense ,insomnia, anxiety, feeling poorly. My P doc didn't want me to come off of the valium because he thought it helped with keeping my bipolar stable. He agreed to help me with the taper if I wanted to get off. I just wanted to get off because I was tolerant and didn't want to stay on a benzo any longer. I also recently decided I would like to decrease my AD dose after I am off the benzo, but I'm not certain I can completely taper off because of my bipolar. I discussed this with my P Doc and he said he would consider this after I'm stable on my valium taper. I was reading thru some posts here and noticed that tapering the AD first might have been better then tapering the benzo according to many here. I started my benzo taper first because I wasn't going to taper down my AD at the advice of my P doc.. I have decided that I would like to taper down my Wellbutrin at least to a lower dose but I assume I should wait till I am off the benzo at this point? If I do taper down my Wellbutrin will it be harder now that I am tapering off the benzo first Also I need some advice about getting off the 6mg of Doxepin (Silenor), I have been taking for insomna the past year, it is no longer helping with my insomnia. Since it is such a low dose do I need to taper off this slowly or can I just jump off. Thanks
  20. Hello fellow members. I've been diagnosed with dsythmic depression with social anxiety. I'm currently taking 200mg of Zoloft and 3 mg of valium, cutting back on the valium every month by half a mg. I was originally given 15 mg daily as a start dose and continued at 10 mg after a month. I'm extremely worried about agitation. I become very frustrated with zero patients. I'm unable to focus or concentrate and end up self medicating with marijuana. I'm at a point where I don't know what normal is. After taking multiple AD's for 12 years, I'm horrified by studies showing The chemical imbalance these meds help correct leave an imbalance that's worst then the original depression lasting years. I'm scared if I stop smoking weed I won't be able to tolerate agitation from the valium. Worst yet if I try to stop the Zoloft I won't be able to hold down my job and family life. I tried quitting AD's and the symptoms are unbearable and leave me non functional. Stuck In the abyss
  21. Hello everyone. I found this site a few months ago but only now do I feel I have the mental strength to write anything remotely coherent. I am in no way recovered but I hope my story offers some encouragement to those in acute withdrawal particularly those who cold turkey. As a teenager I suffered anorexia, I was hospitalised several times and things got pretty serious. This was back in the 90s and there was not the specialised care available that there is today. The professionals tried there best but did not know really what to do with me. This went on for years I would put weight on to loose it again, my poor parents suffered terribly. Eventually some bright spark suggested a antidepressant, I was 5 stone and eating nothing and I believe I did not metabolise the drug properly. I became a zombie which frustrated me more as I could not exercise. Roll on 2 years and at 18 I started to improve I gained some weight went back to college but I could fine no happiness in life, I felt flat, empty with little enthusiasm and basically wanted to sleep constantly. Looking back I did not feel depressed I could still work and function I just felt flat and lonely. Anyway on my Drs advise I began seroxat I think it was 20mg but not sure. I took this for 4 years, I have to say it did help I became less withdrawn and got more joy from life, but I had regular periods of unexplained illness, I would became almost chronically fatigued for days on end unable to do anything but sleep. I'm trying to cut this shorter so I will summarise. Seroxat was hell to come off, I tried several times and ended up doing a cold turkey which was rough very rough ( although my standards on rough have recently widened ) It took but 6 weeks to get any improvement but even then I cried constantly and My Dr put me on prozac and lorazepam for the sleeplessness. A week later and I mean a week I had gone from crying all day everyday unable to do much at all to, up at 7am In the gym then off to work, the change was unbelievable and my Dr was slapping his self on the back and I was beside myself with happiness. Roll on 5 years.. I'm still doing great Iv cut down to a prozac every other day and changed lorazepam to diazepam but I only take very small amounts of this maybe 5mg a week. Roll on another 3 years I'm in prozac 20mg every 3 days and same amount of diazepam. I'm ok but get more anxious and worried about stuff but I'm working and functioning ok. 2014 I decided the prozac is done I'm happy I'm working I have 2 kids I don't need 7ish mg of prozac. My Dr says just stop your virtually off it anyway worse you will get if flu like symptoms. So I do. I remember a few days after stopping feeling fantastic so relaxed happy and full of joy. Roll on 2 months and I start to get very stressed with the kids I tenner throwing a plate at the wall and just standing there and crying. I felt angry all the time and I'm the most placid person in the world. Roll on another 2 months and things start to get serious I can't sleep I toss and turn all night, I'm stressed and angry 24-7. 6 month after stopping prozac the sh@t really hits the fan. My whole world turns. I won't go into all the symptoms as from reading on the site I know you have felt them. These are the top 5 though # fear ( I will not use anxiety as it does not convey the true horror of this feeling. A word has yet to be invented to describe it) # severe agitation ( maybe akathesia ) # severe insomnia nights on end without sleep and massive muscle jerks # severe depression and it brought it's friends DP DR and SI # severe neck pain, ear pressure, jaw pain To basically stop you all dropping off I got no breaks for 5 months. I narrowly avoided involuntary hospital admission. I also had a massive reaction to another AD I think it was cirtralopram. After 7months after acute and nearly a year after CT, Im starting to see some improvement and you cannot wipe the smile of my face when i do. It does not last long, the max I have had is 5 days and I still have very poor sleep but I genuinely thought I was the one that would never get a window. There is hope all you have to do is wait.
  22. Hello everyone, I have been reading many posts regarding Remeron/ Mirtazapine in the last few weeks. I found the information very helpful. I wish I had found this site earlier... I started taking 4mg of Ativan and 30mg of Remeron in February of 2014. In May 2014, I reduced Ativan from 4 to 3mg overnight. Was unaware of proper tapering technique, felt terrible side effects from 25% reduction. After becoming familiar with the Ashton manual, started a crossover taper 3mg Ativan to 30mg Valium in August 2014. Completed a slow taper on May 19 2016. Benzo free as of today, but still on 30mg of Remeron. I believe I am currently feeling strong side effects from the Remeron. I started feeling this way a few days after stopping the Valium. I am feeling dizziness like “walking on moving ship”, headaches, nausea, concentration problems, upset stomach. I find it difficult to function in this condition. I thought I had accomplished the hard work when I finished my benzo taper. I began reading about the Remeron on Surviving Antidepressants. I was really surprised by what I read: “When you remove the Benzo, the AD’s adverse effects come to the forefront.” and “ Mirt likely to be stimulating and might be uncomfortable without the Benzo.” The recommendations on which drug to taper first goes against what you would find in the Ashton Manual or a site like Benzo Buddies. “Benzo withdrawal before Antidepressant withdrawal increases the risk of a difficult antidepressant withdrawal.” All these ideas are news for me. I have read many comments on the forum which reflect the symptoms I have been feeling from the Remeron. I believe I need to taper the Remeron. I am questioning wether I can taper Remeron successfully in my present condition or in order to do this properly would I need to reinstate a low dose of Valium, possibly 2mg. I should add that where I am currently living I do not have access to liquid remeron or special pharmacies. I will need to create my own liquid mirt by using the Remeron Soltab 30mg. From reading the recommendations, 10% cut every 4 weeks is the way to go. A first cut would be by 3mg to 27 mg. Had a doctor (that helped me with my Benzo taper) suggest a Remeron taper by taking : 30 mg 1st night then 15mg 2nd night, back to 30mg 3rd night, then down to 15mg on 4th night, and so on for 3 weeks. If ok then stay at 15mg. Sounds risky to me… I am trying to figure out the best way forward. I would appreciate any suggestions. Thanks Karlos
  23. Intolerant59

    Intolerant59 Mirtazapine

    Hoping someone can help I have recently been prescribed Mirtazapine which I believe has increased my anxiety, I tremble inside through my whole body. I have been on many many different AD's all with terrible side effects. I'm too scared to taper off slowly as the anxiety is out of control and my dr told me to take Valium to counteract the anxiety. Very stressed and anxious would love to hear from someone who has experienced this anxiety side effect from Mirtazapine
  24. Hello Well I'm in a bit of a tricky situation my friends.. First things first I'm 18-19 in 1996 and I'm diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I'm given the relatively new citalopram at this time. I feel relief almost immediately. Not only are my depressive symptoms reduced but so are my anxiety ones. Slowly over the next ten years I make considerable progress through university and ultimately as a full time teacher. For this whole period I remained on 20mg citalopram, nothing more and nothing less. I didn't see a p-doc but merely got my scripts from a GP. I tried to get off a total of 2 times. Of course I went very rapidly and naturally symptoms became intolerable so I went back on and everything seemed to go back to normal. At the end of 2009 my first born daughter dies at birth. The following two years are met with increased depressive and anxiety symptoms. By the end of 2010 I'm advised to see a new p-doc who dutifully listens to my main complaint - I can't sleep - and prescribes temazepam. So my poly drugging begins. At some point the temazepam stops working and my p-doc prescribes seroquel for sleep instead. I only ever use 10 mgish From late 2010 I start experiencing almost intolerable tiredness. No-one can tell me what is wrong despite numerous Drs and drug tests. At some point in 2012 I taper my 20mg citalopram down to 10mg in the hope it will reduce my tiredness. I don't experience any overly uncomfortable side effects besides a month of low blood pressure, some dizziness and nausea. Mid 2013 and I want to have another child. I want to reduce my psych meds as much as is possible, in particular I know that benzodiazepines are not recommended for pregnancy, so I taper off the small amount of seroquel without any real problems and next up is temazepam. My p-doc recommeds I coldturkey. Well it takes me 1 day of doing that to realise that doesn't feel altogether right so I go to the pharmacist who recommends a different taper that will see me off 20mg temazepam in 1-2 months. Near the end of this taper things really go very very wrong. I get some minor seizures and every other sort of hellish acute benzodiazepine withdrawal symptom. I attempt to reinstate but by this point I'm so sensistised I get horrible interdose withdrawal on the temazepam. I'm crossed over to diazepam equivalent 10mg and stabilise. In addition, because of the increased anxiety, my p-doc suggests going back up to 20mg citalopram. At the time I didn't think much of it. I was in such a state from benzo withdrawal I didn't notice that part of the sleep and adrenaline issues may have been from the increased SSRI. I'd had what I thought was a good history with the SSRI. I had trusted psych meds for some time. Since then I've been tapering the valium. I've been going slowly, as my symptoms dictate. By 5mg valium or so I started becoming increasingly suspicious that the SSRI was causing a great many problems: insomnia, increased agitation etc. So I - perhaps stupidly - thought I would again try the taper down to 10mg. Things didn't go too badly. I didn't notice any side effects however after fortnight or so at 10mg I did experience depression. At this point I'm so desperate to get off the benzos - not least because I'm not getting any younger and want a child - that I think I may as well just have more SSRI to help with the benzo symptoms. Well that was a mistake. Sure 20mg at first felt better and got rid of the depression but then it began to give what was probably serotonin syndrome. I got overheated, akasthesia, tics, agitation, anxiety, restless legs particularly the first 5 or so hours after dosing. Since then I tried to go back to 15mg. At first that seemed to work but a week into that and again I was getting increasingly agitated and anxious till the SSRI's active time wore off. I should note since this craziness I have stopped withdrawing off benzos. It is obviously hard to differentiate SSRI symptoms from benzo w/d ones but the agitation and anxiety is significantly worse after dosing the SSRI, through its active phase and drops off once it has reached half life. In addition I am best - most relaxed and least symptomatic - if I put off taking the SSRI. The upshot - the further I am away from the SSRI the least symptomatic I am. Now the problem here folks is I now have a little more experience of psych med withdrawal then I'd like. I know that you can't make rash decisions. I know it is hard to tell one psych med's side effects from another's withdrawal. What is more I really really really want off the benzos and I would like to think that the SSRI could go back to being somewhat helpful on the depression and anxiety front whilst I get off the freaking benzo. So that is this sad, convuluted tale of one woman's polydrug chaos Fun reading huh? Any advice appreciated. Note in answering these questions I really want off the benzo most of all and I'd prefer to be just on a doable dose of SSRI for now Do I go back to 10mg and try to wait it out? Is this like benzo w/d where the more you wait the more things settle down? Or am I suffering from symptoms from the drug not wd so will just continue to get this response? Is wd from the SSRI potentially just as bad as the symptoms from the drug in other words put it in the too hard basket whilst I get off the benzos? p.s I've moved my SSRI dose to night time so I don't have to put up with the symptoms although it means a lot more doxylamine to sleep. Are we having polydrugging fun yet? p.p.s Current meds: 3.5 mg valium; 10mg Citalopram (as of today only before that 15mg for 1 week, 20 the week before, 15 the week before, and 10 the week before that which I'd tapered down too .. and I KNOW I KNOW this going up down and around is very very stupid but I'd never been down the SSRI rabbit hole before.. now I just need stability but suffering from oversensitvitiy to the med
  25. Hi all. I have been reading many post on this excellent forum for a while now. Time to say hello and start my own journal thread. A bit about me Don’t know if my story is very unique... I am broken. I have been on meds for a long time. I have tried to quit several times, failed and failed again. Struggle with low self esteem and dysthymia for as far as I can remember, but somehow still manage to keep my life together (at least it looks like that from the outside). There is a lot of negativity and dysfunction in me, and I have a have been in different kinds of therapy on and off. No real problems with anxiety before starting to taper the meds. During my more brighter moments I’m also very very happy for having a decent career at work, an loving girlfriend, a few really good friends, my cats, basic health and many other things that are important in life. The medication I was put on Venlafaxine in 2000 at age 33 after a separation that triggered both my first panic attacks and clinical depression. I needed the medication then, for perhaps 1 year it saved my life. Continued taking it out of habit and lack of good support from any doctor that knew something. During the 14 years on meds my life was actually quite ok. Most things worked fine, I was balanced and sane. No anxiety, no depression, stable mood and a quite active life. So why change a winning team? I wanted to try to stop taking meds when I realized that I had not cried at all for ten years, not even when one of my beloved cats died, that my life simply was not containing any real highs and no real lows. I somehow missed out on important emotional parts by taking SSRI/SNRI. The more I read on the subject, the more convinced I got that I really have to quit. Still, depression runs deep in my family, and I might end up having to take a low dose for the rest of my life. The plan is of course to not take any meds at all and deal with my problems in therapy instead. I have much more faith in talk therapy than in long term medication. Others probably see me as a rather calm person, but I’m also very restless, uncertain and often not patient enough for the slow pace that discontinuing psych meds demand. Sometimes do to to big drops or other drastic changes in meds or life. I know it's not good for me, but I can't help myself. SSRI is clearly the devil and benzodiazepine is his/hers evil partner in crime! The antidepressants keep my demons in their cages and benzo soothes my restless soul like nothing else. I have very mixed emotions to the medication. I don’t like to be dependent on them but the last 14 years I have always felt better on meds than off. Perhaps that has to do with the lack of patience. My current tapering project I started my current tapering from 150 mg Venlafaxine (Effexor) in April 2014. Have tried to follow all the tips on keeping it slow, stable and safe. There has been a lot of stress with traveling, new job, major illness in the family, big changes in my important volunteer engagement and a new love relationship during this year. So far I have managed to handle all these changes and the withdrawal effects without falling apart. There is still too much stress but compared to before tapering I’m trying to keep my ambitions fairly low and try to limit all activities and persons that generates stress. If withdrawal becomes worse I guess I will have to lower my ambitions even more. As you all know, lots of time and energy goes into dealing with waves, new emotions, mood swings and increased anxiety. In March 2015 I was down to 30 mg Venlafaxine per day, with some very clear withdrawal issues. This might be a too fast taper, but that was the way I did it. The withdrawal got a bit worse, and I slowly started started self medicating Diazepam (Valium) on a daily basis. However, I wasn’t feeling bad enough to reinstate or increase the Venlafaxine dosage. Two months later, in May 2015, I felt stable enough to start bridging to liquid Fluoxetine (Prozac) during 1 month. Hope that the long half life of the Fluoxetine will make the final steps down to zero manageable. I had to increase the dose a bit and now, in June 2015, I’m on 12 mg Fluoxetine (3.0 ml) which equals about 40 mg Venlafaxine. Not sure that this was the right move, but all previous attempts to go lower than 40 mg Venlafaxine has failed miserably and resulted in reinstating. The main drawback with Fluoxetine compared to Venlafaxine, is that it makes me very tired. The fatigue is constant and the energy levels way below normal. I feel like sleeping all the time. To deal with the lows I occasionally self medicate with the pain medication Tramadol, that clearly boost the serotonin levels. Try to not take it more than once a week, since it's easy to get dependent. I occasionally take other substances too, but never with such a frequency that they become problems. I know my limits in that area. I drink alcohol but not more than once a week and never more than a few glasses. To handle the anxiety i self medicate with Diazepam (Valium) or Alprazolam (Xanax). The last 2-3 months I have been taking between 2 and 5 mg Diazepam every other day. This is way to too frequent, and I’m clearly become dependent on the benzo now. This has happened before and I am slowly tapering the Diazepam. Currently taking about 1 mg per day. My main non-chemical weapon against the anxiety is the meditative relaxing audios from excelatlife.com and the headspace.com meditations, that I do on a daily basis. Recently I have started doing the “mixing the cake batter” anti-anxiety exercise that seem so help. I am not into supplements. Have tried both Vitamin E, Omega 3 and Magnesium at different occasions, but not found that it makes any kind of difference at all. At the moment I’m suffering quite a bit from both anxiety (mostly in the morning), mood swings, general nervousness, fatigue, memory loss and lack of motivation. Not sure what is related to the meds and what is new emotions emerging from the low dosage of SSRI. Sleep is one of the things that works fine though. I’m not giving up this time. I will follow through even if it takes several more years. Not sure how often I will update this journal or if I will get involved in the discussion on this site. Based on all my failed attempts to taper I do however believe it is very important to both give and receive support from others in the same situation. A big thank you to all the people who contribute to this site! You save lives.
×
×
  • Create New...