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  1. Moderator note: link to benzo thread - Marsx: Am I not taking into account a clonazepam withdrawal? Hello I'm a 28 year old female with a history of anxiety and depression which is mainly caused by severe insomnia persistent since childhood. My insomnia was always my first condition which caused the others. I've been on numerous antidepressants since age 18 being a guinea pig for many psychiatrists over the years. I always felt like crap on antidepressants as I told the doctors I wasn't depressed, just i had severe insomnia. Anyways, for the past 4 years I have been on amitriptyline which was God sent for my insomnia. In hindsight it was just the antihistamines drowsy effect that was helping me. I was on a very high dose of 150mg. Reason is because b4 the amitriptyline I was on Seroquel and again the antihistamine effect and drowsiness put me to sleep and changed my life. But Seroquel was pooping out very fast. I would increase weekly until I was taking 500mg. Finally switched to amitriptyline 150mg and produced the same effect. Was stable on amitriptyline for 4 years until it completely pooped out in helping me sleep. At this point I was tired of all the drugs. I had severe constipation from amitriptyline that caused a bowel obstruction and hospitalization several times and I was sick of it.i was sick of my doctors who were unhelpful. I was sick of my psychiatrists. Everyone sucked. So I completely cold turkeyed off 150mg of amitriptyline. That was 14 months ago to this date. I have been in a living nightmare of suicidal depression along with a host of physical symptoms and brain feeling like it'll explode. Fatigue has been so bad I quit my really good job. I obviously didn't know anything about tapering and thought I was doing the right thing. I hate myself for it. I only got through it telling myself it's just withdrawal and give it one more day. I've been saying one more day for the past year or so and realizing it's not just one more day. Things never got better. I have never been as suicidally depressed as I've been in this past year. My insomnia has not improved in 14 months. I get maybe a max of 5 hours of sleep a week. My hair has fallen out from stress and I'm bald in certain spots. The fatigue has been so bad lately that my body feels it weighs 1000 lbs. I hate my family so I have no support. I finally read about PAWS and realizing how bad my life is and probably won't get better. So I decided to reinstate at 14 months because I simply have no choice. I just can't do it anymore. I can't. I know I can't and I know my only other option besides reinstating and it's not good. So I reinstated at 5mg and I am getting severe tremors. I remember now even trying to reinstate at 4 months in and getting tremors but feeling like the reinstatement helped. The same thing happens when I try Seroquel. In fact when I try a drowsy antihistamine the same thing happens. These tremors are seriously noticible in my face and hands. But otherwise I think the reinstatement helps right away. My entire body is twitching but it almost feels like I'd rather have this then the hell of withdrawal. On a side note I've been doing a lot of research on amitriptyline. I found literature saying it has the same chemical properties as the old antipsychotics which caused people tardive akthesia, taken long enough. It makes sense as all these drugs have a seditative antihistamine in them. I believe it's all connected. I've tried reinstating with Seroquel and the same tremors are appearing but Seroquel also seems to be too much for my system to handle. Ive lost my job. I look like in 50 years old, and just remembering over a year ago I actually still had a joy for life before going off the amitriptyline. QUESTION: checked myself into a psychiatric hospital and obviously they don't recognize paws as a real thing so they suggest ECT therapy for my depression. I'm wondering if anyone has tried ECT for PAWS??? I've never had depression quite like this and it's 100 withdrawal. The physical symptom of brain exploding/burning which I don't know how to explain seems to be the most severe along with being completely bed ridden. I'm willing to do ECT if it helps.
  2. Hello everyone, I'm in desperate need of some help and advice. I have been on Amitriptyline for 3 and half years at a dosage of 100mg, this helped me to sleep because of anxiety. Exactly 4 weeks ago I went to see my GP as my anxiety has been increasing. They suggested trying Mirtazapine. So for the first week my Amitriptyline was dropped from 100mg to 50mg, them for the second week it was dropped from 50mg to ZERO. Then I went straight onto 30mg of Mirtazapine. During all this I have had the worst time ever, I have not slept during these 4 weeks, complete insomnia! and flu like symptoms! And my body feels like it's been hit by a bus. I have lost faith in my GP surgery as I get different information from each doctor and they dont seem to care at all, they never explain things clearly enough and had I known all this I would never have taken the medication in the first place. Can anyone offer any help or advice, I'm desperate?! Will the insomnia get better? I'm at the point of stopping the mirtazine and just going back to 100mg of Amitriptyline. 😕
  3. WuGang

    WuGang: hello all

    Hello, I am new to this website. A little about me; I suffer anxiety, panic attacks and was diagnosed depression. Many years ago, when I was around 14-15 years old, I was placed on antidepressants (Seroxat). I was later put on Fluoxetine and Amitriptyline for close to 20 years, I'm now 33. This year I made the decision I didn't want to keep taking these drugs and arranged with my doctor to slowly stop them, one at a time of course. It took a couple of months in total with his instructions. It's now been around 2 months off the Fluoxetine and a month off the Amitriptyline. I have been struggling with the side effects since. On and off sleeping difficulties, wild mood swings, constantly angry and easy to temper, and a really bad temper! Depression. But also, problems with my mind, brain fog, difficulty concentrating. It's really hard to explain, I feel dumber since stopping the meds, I know my mind, know how it works and I can tell it just isn't right. I don't recognize my own mind anymore. I struggle to enjoy anything that I used to, struggle to understand or concentrate on the things I used to like. And to be honest, it's been scaring me, I've been really tempted to go back on the drugs just so that I can be me again. Still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. Anyway, that's a little about my story.
  4. Hi everyone, In March 2018 I started taking antidepressant pills. I when to visit a urologist because I had a pulsing feeling in my bladder, and years before I had continuous urine infection problems, he thought this pulsing feeling was due to the nerves and he prescribed me amitriptyline 10 mg. In no more than a few weeks I started feeling side effects, nausea, a tremendous thirst and dryness of the skin of my face that started to peel around my chin, I noticed the dryness in my throat and inside my nose, it dried the mucosa and soon after I started breathing very badly, it was like I couldn't heat the air or something. A month later and because my General Practitioner though that all those symptoms were because I was anxious, he recommended me to go to see a psychologist, but previous to that I was referred to a psychiatrist who prescribed me Cipralex 5mg than then increased to 10mg. I told him I was taking the other medication amitriptyline 10mg and also told him that I was a poor metabolizer because I had done a DNA test and I was having already some side effects from the amitriptyline. He told me I can discontinue that drug and use just Cipralex, I thought, well , I should contact the other doctor who prescribed me the other medication first, but he insisted, that if I want I can stop using, so I did, but there was a time I was taking both at the same time ( He said it was ok too ), and I started feeling very bad ( insomnia, electric shocks in my arms, numbing in my hands at night...etc ) so I stopped the amitriptyline at that time and some a weeks later I stopped Cipralex too, but then the withdrawal symptoms came and everything got worse. During the summer, June, July, and August I was feeling terrible I had terrible nightmares, I one day I had a hallucination!! , numbing and electric shocks in my arms and hands when I was sleeping... Today I still have the dryness in throat and nose and I can't breath well, It get worse at night, I've noticed that it's less intensive but I don't know how long it will take to go away completely. I wanted to know more so I did a mitochondrial test ( private service ) to know what was going on, There was a fluorenyl compound found possibly from Cipralex. I show the test to my General Practitioner he told me that that was fake and he doesn't believe it, and told me I have to stop this situation. It was here when I understood that I was gonna be alone on this and nobody in the NHS would believe me.
  5. I've successfully tapered off other medications in the past, but am really struggling with this one. I was on 25 mg Amitriptyline since 2015. Last year, I tried tapering off and ended up back on, but gratefully, only at 12.5. I was originally put on this to help with IBS-C pain and found it helped my migraines as well. I'm 64 and am seeing cognitive issues and complete constipation, both of which are well-documented as side effects and why seniors should not be on this drug. So I really want to see how I do off it. Last week, I went down to 10 mg (I have those pills as well). But I'm really feeling withdrawal effects. The problem is that I'm not sure Amitriptyline HCL is stable in water. Here's what I read: http://www.pharminfotech.co.nz/manual/Formulation/mixtures/amitriptyline.html Indeed, as the article states, the liquid was really bitter and had a weird localized effect when I tried to taper this way last year. And I can't cut the pills down to make small enough doses because the pill is already tiny. The best I can do is cut the 10 mg into four (2.5 mg), but from what I'm reading, that is too big of a jump. My doctor is useless about these things. He says the drug can't cause these problems because of the low dose and that I can just stop taking it at this point because the dose is so low I won't have withdrawal. I'd appreciate any suggestions on what I can do to taper under these circumstances. Thanks, Susan
  6. Mea

    Mea

    Hi guys, Just wanted to introduce myself. After 21 years of being on several types of anti-depressant medications I am determined to completely stop (see history in signature). I am taking 150mg of Effexor at the moment and managed to stop taking it for 8 months last year but the experience was extremely traumatic. I spent about 4-5 months tapering off and then was completely off Effexor for 8 months. Unfortunately I went back on Effexor after the 8 month mark as I was worried about suicide and could literally not function or work or get out of bed. I have never experienced any type of severe depression until this point in my life (2015 when I attempted to go off medication). I didn’t understand what was happening until I found this - https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/mad-in-america/201106/now-antidepressant-induced-chronic-depression-has-name-tardive-dysphoria I would be super interested to know of any individuals or moderators on here who have some knowledge or experience in tardive dysphoria/oppositional tolerance. I am hoping there may be someone out there with theories/solutions on how to go off an anti-depressant like Effexor with some sort of support instead of just going off and suffering for years and years until one day you hopefully might start to feel better? I would like to believe that that the neuroplasticity of my brain will definitely get me there eventually but I am really scared after my last experience and not sure how long I could tough it out. At the moment I am looking into st johns wart, saffron, lamictal and transcranial magnetic stimulation. I find Dr Kelly Brogan's work quite fascinating as well although I have already done everything I can nutritionally. She did her fellowship at NYU Medical Center after graduating from Cornell University Medical College, and has a B.S. from MIT in Systems Neuroscience and has some pretty fascinating things to say about antidepressants worsening the long-term course of depression, anti-depressants actually working via being an anti-inflammatory as well as the treatment of depression through nutrition. She has recently released a book but main stream media outlets have basically blacklisted her, likely because of their primary sponsorship by pharmaceutical companies. My aim is to try and go off of Effexor again but I want to have a better strategy in place this time and some sort of back-up plan so I don't panic and go back to Effexor. Last time was pretty traumatizing. Any suggestions, ideas etc are very very welcome!
  7. I took 10 mg of amitriptiline three times.aftet experienxing side effects I stopped the drug. After a month I am still experiencing muscle twitches and tingling. The doctors think I am crazy and the drug is not the cause. They have proscribed steroids but I am scared to take them thinking these effects might worsen. Help!
  8. Hi everybody, I thought I'd introduce myself, and let you know that I'm going to be starting a weekly withdrawal log to map my progress, support others and hopefully receive support. Below, I've included a few points, and I'll be adding different things as I go on. For now, I wanted to keep it simple and get the ball rolling. Who am I? I'm currently taking 35mg of Amitriptyline for sleep, and as of today (01/01/18), I am starting a very slow taper off the medication. I have taken Amitriptyline since May 2016. Why am I doing this? I've had two withdrawal attempts prior to this, and in my last attempt, I stumbled across this website and realised that it was going to be something of a pilgrimage rather than a quick affair. I've also been interested in writing since I was a kid, and I've recently started up a creative writing practice again and thought that it would be great if I could start capturing my withdrawal journey because it'll hopefully be useful to somebody else in future and also provide me with context and a wider understanding when things start to get tough. My medication history / explaining the situation? I'll try to keep this as short as possible, so I'll use dot points: I have an OCD personality, I enjoy feeling good and things being perfect. I obsessed about sleep a lot. I moved out of home, couldn't control as many variables around sleep and started to get really frustrated when I didn't feel well rested. Cycles of frustration continued for 6 months, before I stopped being able to sleep altogether. This resolved, and was replaced by a 2 - 3am panic attack, being completely unable to fall back asleep. The 2 - 3am rising continued for 4 months, before I started waking 2 hours after falling asleep and being unable to fall back asleep. Tried everything, nothing worked and in my defeat, tried Amitriptyline 30mg. This worked, however the somatic and psychological impacts of the nightly panic attacks and sense of being "broken forever" remained. Withdrawal # 1 I had been taking the medication for about a month, and I was worried about weight gain and felt like a failure for taking it. I was also obsessed with "proving to myself that I could sleep without it now" because I had previously thought I was broken forever. I tried to taper off quickly, using a variety of other sleeping aids to mask the taper. In October 2016, when I had tapered down to about 5 - 10mg, I had a huge panic attack and reinstated, ending the withdrawal attempt. Withdrawal # 2 This withdrawal started in March 2017, when I tried to taper down much more slowly (but not slow enough). I fully came off in October 2017, however due to having family commitments and still working with a high level of anxiety in evenings, I reached my capacity and ended the withdrawal attempt. I reinstated to 35mg because I was so anxious and uncomfortable that I felt like I couldn't relax unless I took a larger dose. What I'd like to achieve? So now that I've had two withdrawal attempts, I realise that the challenge is going to be a combination: The physical and psychological fear of being permanently broken, and unable to sleep again without medication. The physical and psychological fear of feeling tired and how that triggers me. The obsession to feel in control re: sleep, and the fear of relaxing into a sense of flowing with life. The chemical experience of withdrawal. I believe that the process of withdrawing is going to be therapeutic in that it'll trigger each of my fears, and allow me to soothe them directly and rewire my nervous system over the withdrawal period. Hopefully, once I'm fully withdrawn, I would've also cleared out and rewired the triggers around sleeping. Eventually, I would like to be in a position where I am able to relax into the knowing that sometimes I'll sleep well, sometimes I'll sleep badly, and not reject one experience and try to cling to another. What will my taper look like? It's going to be a slow taper, going from 35 -> 32.5 -> 30 etc, in increments of 2.5 per month. I'm aware that I have a limited capacity to approach challenge with composure, so if I need to hold or reinstate, I'm completely comfortable with doing so because this'll be more like a marathon than a sprint and ensuring that I maintain a healthy capacity is going to be key for this. The goal is to feel comfortable at each reduced dose, and spend enough time at each increment that I feel completely confident that I could sleep with this amount. I need to do this, because when I have withdrawn at a quicker rate, I realised that I wasn't certain I could sleep on any of those increments and when I reinstated, I had to go back to the beginning to feel comfortable again. Please note that I'll be sharing more stuff, like the supplements I take, practices I use - for now, I just wanted to keep it simple
  9. Hello everyone, I first got started on Celexa in May 09 after my mind slipped into an inescapable panic state induced by an accidental overdose of the anti-histamine diphenhydramine. I should of know way back then, after a few weeks, then I should of stayed away from all drugs and given my brain a chance to calm down and repair itself on it’s own, but I was truly, truely frightened that I had down some serious damage or I was on my way to the depths of psychosis. So I went to my GP got diagnosed with anxiety disorder. I switched to Cymabalta in November 09 after a personal event triggered an intensification of agitated depression which had never really left despite treatment with Celexa. Sticking with Cymbalta was, again, an irrevocably stupid decision - but I had faith in the psychiatrist who was prescribing me these things. Suicidal ideation was commonplace both in an experiential context and in circumstantial context – my anxiety was so severe I just wanted out and I was astounded to what life had been reduced to. On cymbalta I felt tired but wired with a generalised irritability and massive cravings for sugar, which when I gave in and ate only triggered an intensification of irritability. I look back during this period and I’m struck with just how bizarre and Kafkaesque the whole experience was. Why the hell didn’t I get of the ******* thing earlier? I weaned off Cymbalta in in June 2010. However, the suicidal panic now morphed into a suicidal malaise and all-consumng tiredness, severe anhedonia, and an inability to concentrate - which has stuck with me since. I got put on Zoloft in Oct’10, 4 months after my last drug, and after a visit to a GP where I told me him I was suicidal and planning to go through with it. He sort of shrugged and just told me to go back on a med. The Zoloft induced both akathisa and a “despair beyond despair” at my situation. I flew out to Thailand with the intention of having a last hurrah and then taking myself down to one of the gun ranges and putting a .357 round into my frontal lobe. (Guns aren't readily available in the UK) I flew home when my parents found out where I was, despite my (I thought) well-constructed plan to deceive and explained to them the extent of which I was struggling. We sought the services of a psychiatrist whom I thought was progressive and looking at the bigger picture. By now, I was mostly concerned with the brain fog and chronic fatigue - which prevented me from most activities which might have led to an improvement with my lot in life - which led me to conclude my problem was neuro-endocrine based. I agreed to a low-dose of Lexapro, some compounded thyroid hormone and about 20 different supplements to treat any bodily pathologies. Despite this ambitious protocol, there was very little change in mood. I tried to stay working but got overwhelmed again and my suicidal ideation reached a zenith. I flew back out to Asia with my father, this time to Cambodia but to join a volunteer project building houses. I figured a dose of 3rd poverty might take my mind….off my mind. This time I also agreed to start lithium. It was a humbling experience for sure but I was still weak, foggy, anxious and depressed. I also felt intensely guilty at being in my depressed state amongst so much poverty and in a country with the worst auto-genocide in history. I also picked up a stomach infection which led to post-infectious gastroparesis which I have been struggling with since. Early in 2011 I discontinued the lithium, at the time we hadn’t worked out the stomach problem and where concerned the lithium could be causing the GI stuff. I continued with Lexapro in the AM and 25mg amitrypltine to get me off to sleep in the PM. Life was just a haze punctuated by bouts of panic and despair. My ability to work and socialise properly had all but disappeared by now, so I got used to life being what it was. At the beginning of 2012 I decided to take a break from AD’s, they didn’t seem to have improved my lot in life much, maybe coming off them would do some good. This was when my concern, finally, about TD started - I continued to feel like absolute ****. What if the drugs were the problem all along?. It wasn’t until a few months ago that the epiphany really took hold and I realised the full horror of what I subjected myself to. I realised the whole thing was being exacerbated by the very treatment that authority deemed to be of help. Back when I came off Cymbalta in 2010 I just assumed this was my depression anxiety ramping up and the exhaustion was a natural extension, but now I was still horrendously depressed and the other **** kicked in. I curse myself that I didn’t see the connection the first time round and have spent another 2.5 years on psych drugs….. Note, I tried a few drugs of now more than about two weeks duration in 2012. Again this was before the idea of drug-induced harm became cemented in my mind. My last drug ingestion was Tianeptine in November. My question to anyone who has any suggestions and or experiences is in my title – what the hell do I do now? I’m a complete invalid. Living at home with a parent at 25, unable to enjoy much of anything at all, I can’t lose myself in a movie like I did years ago, my mind is just inexplicably turned inward and focused on it’s own arid desolation and fogginess. Reading is a significantly challenging endeavour and writing is difficult (it’s taken me about a week to knock this up into something coherent and semi-legible). I’m just having such trouble formulating a strategy which might give me a chance of getting well again. Just reading this site has given me a bit of hope in that people can get their lives back on track. There’s people here that appear to have got off far harsher drugs and had been on them for longer periods, so I need to keep a perspective of sorts, I’m just terrified at this stage that I’m past the point of no return and that putting what was a fragile brain/mind to begin with in drugs might just have been…… Any help or words of wisdom are appreciated. Thanks for reading. Jack
  10. Hello everyone, I am so glad I found this forum. I feel so lost and alone struggling to navigate this withdrawal. Here's my story: I started 10mg of Amitriptyline on November 1st 2017. I was originally prescribed this for sleep when the doctor took my off my pantoprazole 40 mg cold turkey and I ended up very sick ( I was put on that because they thought maybe I had H. Pylori so once the test came back negative they took me off of it cold turkey.) Due to being so sick coming off the pantoprazole they decided the taper me off it properly by reinstating it and lowering the does by 25% each week. In the mean time he gave me amitriptyline 10mg to help me sleep as I felt so sick. I came off the pantoprazole properly this time, and decided I didn't need to be on the amitriptyline it was making me feel sick to my stomach and making me VERY dizzy to the point where I passed out and hit the floor. So I called my doctor who said just to stop the amitriptyline, it is not an addictive drug and he has never heard of withdrawals on this med. After his last cold turkey mistake I dropped down to 7.5mg of Amitriptyline and felt fine...until day 10 then was I sick!!! After 9 days of this (extreme nausea, headaches, anxiety, aches etc) I couldn't take it anymore and reinstated to 10mg, within 24 hrs I was feeling much better but back on 10mg. Of course when I saw my doctor after this he rolled his eyes and said I must have had the flu. So fed up I got a new doctor. The new doctor also felt that 10mg was such a low dose and withdrawals are impossible on this med. However the fainting and bouts of nausea concerned him, I explained this all started once I began taking this pill but he told me there is no way I could have such bad side effects on 10mg. He sent me for a CT scan on my head, lots of blood work, hooked me up to a blood pressure monitor, heart rate monitor etc. In the mean time I passed out a few more times and continued to feel sick, finally he decided that I must be having an allergic reaction to the meds (im sensitive to meds anyways) since it was causing my blood pressure to drop VERY low. He then told me I must come off them tonight!! 10 to 0 ill be just fine and he refused to give me any more refills because this drug is too dangerous for me this was in March 2018. I refused to go cold turkey (as i had no support on this) so I tapered off of 10mg over 50 days dropping .2mg per night which brought me to the end of my pills. I have been off of Amitriptyline for 2 weeks now as I took my last dose on April 14 2018. For the first 2 weeks I experienced headaches, fatigue, aches, nausea, anxiety etc. I am now dealing with an emotional roller coast and nausea that comes and goes throughout the day. Some days are okay, some days are bad. I have not had any fainting spells since I started tapering which is great but how long will this wax and wane nausea last? Im feeling really low at the moment. Everyone expected that once i was off the drugs I would be perfectly fine within a week or two and the doc will never admit there is withdrawals and just put me on another med :( No one really understands, im hoping someone on here does <3
  11. Hi to all. I am so relieved to find this site. I think I have just put myself in to a toal horror story. I have been taking 25mg amiltyptiline for 3 years for back pain and sleep. I was also taking ophenadrine 100mg twice a day for back pain whilst in the middle east but on return to UK i quit the ophenadrine and replaced with cannabis with no problems at all. have since cut right back on this and only have it when my pain is really bad. I also cut down the amiltriptyline to 12.5mg with no problems a year ago. I have Graves disease and just been diagnosed peri menopause, low ferritin and currently having tests for low bit B12 due to symptoms I've been having. Anyway long story short I am starting to feel like I rattle when I all due to all the meds and vitamins i take so so 12 days ago I decided to quit the Amityptilne as it no longer seemed to be helping me asleep anymore. I was fine for the first week then began to have what I have now read is most likely withdrawal symptoms. Then three days ago BANG hit me like a ton of bricks. tinnitus like i never had before.vertigo,nausea,huge panic attacks,limbs feel like lead to name but a few things. I rang my gp as i was terrified and literally can not get out of bed. He has told me to go back on the meds and ring him in 3 days if i don't feel better. He said if i want to come off them to do it slower like 1/2 my dose every 2 weeks . I am terrified i have done permeant damage to my brain! I don't want to go back on the meds but feel I have no choice so can here hopefully for reassurance that going back on the meds will make these symptoms subside. I have found the site road to recovery which says reduce by 10 percent very very slowly but also wants to sell you lots of supplements. has anyone tried this? Any advice etc would be much appreciated . Thanks for listening Tigger x
  12. Link to: Santino's success story topic Dear friends. I am right now in a very big of a situation. My second daughter is coming into this world due in two weeks and i am as much as a wreck as evere. I had used xanax for on and off very small doses but after two weeks of continuous 0.25 mg usage it seems i got hooked and started to have a lot of anxiety and panic attack. Before that i have had twice problems but i managed to pass them with personal power and sort of other CBT. This time was a bit harder. I Somehow stabilized at start of April on 6 MG Bromazepam and 20 MG Anmitryptiline. After the stabilization i started tapering and failed the first time. The amount went big again up to 6 MG and after a period of 10 days i developed some kind of depression even though i managed to stay at work. Doctor prescribed Remeron 15 MG and i was a bit reluctant to take but i am in a very difficult position right now as my wife is giving birth to my second kid within two weeks and apart from that i have a loan to pay and could not afford to be off so i agreed with the doc to start it. Psychologicaly in the beginning i felt good because with Remeron help i started to make big jumps on the Benzo (Bromazepam) and within 3 weeks i have gone from 6 MG to 0.75 Mg currently. I am still scared though because i have never been on an antidepressant before and there are horror stories all around web about all types of them as well. This is the fourth week i am taking Remeron and is not helping to much with sleep some nights due to my worry thoughts, some more it has side effects (high cholesterol and triglycerides are a trend in my family, me no exception to that) and i am only 40 Years old. There are days when i really feel very bad and hopeless in this situation but somehow manage to push it forward. I need help whether i am doing the right thing and in case yes after i am done with bromazepam most probably in 3-4 days how long should i wait to start tapering Remeron.... One mor thing friends... i have never been depressed for all of my life. OKKKK... i have had difficult moments or periods here and there... but only mild situations. This time the doctore tried to cure me with the reason of my fears.... and i think she failed miserably. Anyway.... i was scared out of proportion after three weeks of xanax and some drinking sessions and all went berserk. Give me some opinions on what should i do???!! Should i wait some days and try taper fast Remeron??? (i will be on them total 4 weeks this tuesday). Maybe i am one of those persons who by chance do not have withdrawals... All the best and keep it tight.... WE WILL PREVAIL.... 🙂
  13. I was on Paxil 23 years, prescribed as a result of a car accident/mild brain injury - talk about adding insult to injury......my mood was low, I had chronic pain, raising three young boys while also running a family business......I regret the day I put that first pill in my mouth. I had tried to go off them a few times over the years, always ending up pleading to go back on I felt so terrible...”clearly, my condition had worsened, or so they said” i was diagnosed with fibromyalgia 10 plus years ago and amitriptyline was prescribed, in addition to my Paxil. Surprisingly, this condition resolved once i stoped the Paxil? I have recently weaned myself off - drug free Feb/18....during tapering I carefully supplemented with amino acids to avoid the brain zaps (caution needed with amino acids * serotonin syndrome* can cause life threatening event*)......I felt amazing, the unrelenting fatigue was gone for the first time in 23 years, no more fibromyalgia, I was able to easily get out of bed in the morning, no long naps, the likes of which, had become my trademark .......more access to my feelings......unfortunately, this did not last.... Then came the violent persistent suicidal thoughts - from out of nowhere and very unlike me.....the thoughts felt like they were coming from a source other than my own mind if that makes any sense....they became so frightening I stopped all supplementation for fear it might be worsening it, I then tried homeopathy (this is way off the beaten track for me) this has lessened the intensity, they are much more gentle instead of violent but still suicidal thoughts none the less......could this be progress? Feelings of having ruined my life, absolute, utter despair, nothing left to look forward to.......cannot focus - no interest or ability to finish a novel or movie - who cares how it ends.....anger at people ,places and things way out of proportion.....it feels as if all my unfelt emotions over the years are coming to the surface, all at once......I was once very people orientated, enjoyed a good chat and keeping up with friends......now it seems a real burden....some days I do not think I can bear it......but then I get an easier day and it gives me hope that I can heal from this terrible science experiment....and I wonder how many others are struggling just like me........someone mentioned windows and waves - I feel this to be a very helpful way to think about what’s going on ....looking forward to my next window........could it be today? Usually I know almost before I am fully awake if it’s a wave or a window.........I have joined a couple forums such as these and find them to be of tremendous help - Just knowing others have made it to stable ground and that maybe I will too, gives me Hope.
  14. Evss

    Evss

    Hey everyone, I would like to introduce myself and hope to get some personalized support. I've been reading through much of the content and only wish I had done so earlier this year. Alas, I find myself in a very difficult situation now. Thanks in advance for having me here. My situation is a little unusual so bear with me, please. I had a health crisis last July (2017) that resulted in severe fatigue, insomnia, anxiety, heart palpitations and brain fog. This came after years of health issues that compounded into an unsettling of my nervous system. I was so freaked out that on the advice of the Amen clinic, I flew down to California in July and had 3 ketamine infusions and was prescribed low dose seroquel for sleep. The ketamine seemed to take the edge off the anxiety, although initially it made things worse. I used an alpha stim right after which really helped and continued using seroquel for sleep for the next few months until it finally stopped working. Sadly, my health crisis lead me to give up completely on life and become reckless. Now I understand it wasn't so much the health crisis but the underlying unresolved emotional conditions that made it so. So from that point on until middle of February 2018, i was adamant that I would end my life and even though I had a lot of support, I really didn't care anymore. I didn't have the guts to go through with it, however and finally decided in February i wanted to live. That's just some background. In late October 2017, I started taking amitriptyline that my Dad had- it had helped him when he went through a severe health challenge and I was desperate for sleep. Because I was so careless, I would take it sporadically and in various doses, up to 150 mg. It's hard to remember but I believe I took it at least every other day. I tried stopping it a few times but couldn't sleep well without it. Looking back, I can't believe I ruined my nervous system with my own two hands- no doctor prescribed me this med So when I made the decision to live, I decided no more amitriptyline because it made me sleep too long and left me feeling foggy, depressed and just generally off. I stopped taking it around mid February and for the next 5-6 weeks, continued to try not using it but would end up having to take some every 5-6 days because the anxiety and insomnia were too much. I then learned that antidepressants shouldn't be abruptly discontinued and decided to reinstate at 25 mg which I did for the next 3-4 weeks. Even with that, the anxiety, insomnia, OCD, fatigue were not improving much so out of desperation last week, i took a big dose of 125 mg and immediately experienced a negative reaction which I believe was serotonin syndrome. Heart palpitations, anxiety, loss of balance, muscle twitching. I got really scared and took about 4 grams of phenibut to counteract this. I then slept for about 15-16 hours and woke up with a crazy mental state- I was crying and screaming uncontrollably the whole next day. Then, because of fear of withdrawals, I took a 25 mg dose 2 days later and again developed anxiety and heart palpitations which I again counteracted with phenibut. The next day, I developed brain zaps and have since not been taking it because i'm afraid my body is now sensitized to it. I saw my doctor today and had him muscle test it on me and my body really doesn't like it. So now I have to cold turkey it and I'm so upset at myself for doing this and worried about how I'm going to make it through with my already super sensitive nervous system. To give some perspective, I needed to sleep at least 12 hours before I ever started this med due to my health condition and even with that I had severe fatigue, light/sound sensitivity and POTS symptoms. Now I have to deal with all that on top of the drug withdrawal which hasn't even started yet and I already have so many symptoms. Has anyone experienced cold turkey amitriptyline withdrawals? I hope and pray I'll have the strength to survive these next few years of my life. I'm already barely holding on.
  15. Hi all, I am in a pretty decent place in life, and I have a few weeks with very few ”responsibilities”... I’m thinking it’s the perfect time to finally try to get myself off of my psychotropic of choice, Amitriptyline 100mg 1xday. Ive attempted to get off it before and made it a few weeks before feeling overwhelmed and going back to the pills. I would love some support and a place to vent throughout this process. Looking forward to meeting all of you.
  16. Hi I'm new to the forum. I am having awful trouble coming off Amitriptyline. My doctor is absolutely useless and no help at all. I am currently on 25mg of Amitriptyline. I have been on it for 2.5 years. For irritable bowel syndrome. I have put on a stone in weight, I feel so fat and unhealthy. I have tried 4 times to slowly come off Amitriptyline. But I have really bad side effects when lowering the dosage, even when I go from 25mg down to 20mg I get side effects, I can't sleep and get really anxious that's from just a 5mg drop. I really need help coming off them, because I can't stand being on them any longer. I want to come off them really slowly this time, but I don't know how to start. Can anyone please help. Thanks
  17. Hello, Everyone here seems really wonderful and pretty knowledgable. I am trying to get off Lithium and Risperidone. But I need to do it safely as I am in college and can't take time off like I would like to. It seems it is hard to get off of these meds for many people. I got the "ok" from my doctor to get off of them, as I was only on them to begin with because of some traumatic things that happened in my life and I needed help adjusting.. however my doctor isn't really practicing anymore it seems.. its impossible to get ahold of her, so I am trying to figure out how to do this on my own. I really feel I am ready to be off of them yet cannot find a clear answer on the web as the how to do it. Can anyone help me? I have a very long history with medications (I was pretty sick for about 10 years.. only some of the meds are listed in my signature, mostly just ones during my worst) and while getting off of them, I never had withdrawals from any of them besides Citalopram. Currently, I am on 4.5mg of Risperidone and have been for a couple of years and I am on 1200mg of Lithium and have been on it for the same amount of time. I'm not sure if weight/height/age matter for getting off medications but in case it does I am 5'2 124lbs and am 24 years old. I would like to know how slowly I have to go off of these in order for it to not really effect much of my life or if I just need to be prepared to feel awful. Also, should I go one at a time? And if so, which medication should I start with? I am also on Amitriptyline. I deal with depression sometimes. Will going off of Lithium and Risperidone effect my mood? Also, when I was sick those years, I lived in a room and never left, it effected me very much. Thats why I am on Lithium and Risperidone now. When I re-entered society, it was pretty scary and created a lot of anxiety. Just having to ask someone a question was so foreign and startling to me that I decided to go on these drugs to help lower my anxiety and urges that I would get because of fear. I have readjusted really well, am doing great in school, finally able to talk to people, and hopefully will soon be able to better make friends, but these medications effect parts of my brain that I think I need. These medications make me feel less and I miss feeling what is around me. My art practice has kind of crumbled since I've been on them. They were helpful when I needed them but as I have said, I just feel it is time to be off of them. However, I am worried that going off will effect my ability to think clearly. I have come across this information in a few different places. But all in all, I just need some advice as to how to get off of these. If anyone has any advice for me about anything I have shared in terms of these medications, why I am on them or what to do to get off of them, I would really appreciate it. As I am worried I will fall back into a bad place if I don't go off of Lithium and Risperidone carefully. And although I don't have many withdrawals, I am very prone to side effects. If you have shared experiences or stories with either of these medications that would help me, please share them with me.
  18. Hello, I was diagnosed with fibro in 1994. I was just diagnosed by a rheumatologist with CSS - central sensitivity syndrome. A central nervous system disease/disorder that makes people hypersensitive to almost everything. Here are two studies that might be of interest: Fibromyalgia and Overlapping Disorders: The Unifying Concept of Central Sensitivity Syndromes by Muhammad B Yunus, MD -also: clinical review and education- JAMA April 16, 2014 volume 311, number 15 - Fibromyalgia A Clinical Review by Daniel J Clauw, MD. These articles show how the central nervous system plays a huge role in why so many of us have fibromyalgia CFS/ME, MCS-Multiple Chemical Sensitivities, etc. This explains why I've had so much trouble with antidepressants, benzodiazepines, and withdrawals, along with so many other physical and emotional symptoms
  19. Very long taper of 2 years coming off Venlafaxine, last dose 22 months ago. Took Amitryptaline for a while to soften symptoms. Still taking 45mgs Mirtazapine. Struggling with depression and anxiety but managing to carry out most everyday functions. Is it normal to be still struggling with these symptoms and should I wait for things to calm down befor I start withdrawing from the Mirtazapine. In touch with the Bristol Tranq. project who are very supportive. Many thanks, keep up the excellent work.
  20. Having successfully weaned from gabapentin, I felt ready to begin tapering from duloxetine. Then I found this site, entered my meds & viewed the interaction between them and I feel rather worried and would like help knowing which to leave off first. The ones I'm concerned about are duloxetine, amitriptyline, and trazodone. I also take tizanidine. tia
  21. Hello. I'm a 29 year old male. I took 12.5 mg of amitriptyline for six weeks last August for insomnia before having a serious bad reaction to it. I spent the next three months getting it out my system and felt seriously poisoned and generally comatose. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and I was housebound with it but the amitriptyline has left me almost completely bedridden. I feel I've been through the acute stage of withdrawal but the post acute stage seems to be 100 times worse. I've been hit with crushing depression and feel like I cant bear to live another day and just a general feeling of going insane. I've never even expirienced any kind of depression before just insomnia and anxiety. I've lost all my vitality and interest in everything and feel there is no point in being alive but its not me and doesn't feel like an emotion it feels like permanent brain damage. I've been getting slowly weaker since I took the drug and can't even get any kind of panic reaction anymore. It feels like the spark plug in my brain has died and it's absolute hell. My diet has been excellent, eating lots of avocados, walnuts and vegetables and I'm taking all kinds of supplements but nothing is working. I feel like my brain is dying and I'm losing the ability to read and process information and my motivation is completely gone. I can barely eat and lost alot of weight. I'm somehow managing to survive on complete instinct and fighting the urge to kill myself all day. The psychological symptoms started about 2 months ago and started as anhedonia which then progressed into this feeling of complete doom which has got stronger and stronger and now feel completely suicidal. I can't believe what has happened to me. I can't take any other med as I have severe chemical sensitivity and and it will finish me off for sure. Any advice would be much appreciated. I don't want to die really I just want this feeling in my head to go away and just hanging in there praying it goes.
  22. Bonjour je écris de France Je suis laroxyl sous 6 gouttes DEPUIS 2 ans. J'ai Commencer le sevrage en Janvier of this year with a% de 5 au départ et là je suis à 4% TOUS les 15 jours. Je dirais qu'actuellement Tous vas bien, Mis à part Quelques Problèmes gastriques Mais rien Qui m'empêche de continuateur d'avancer. Je aimerais Connaître réellement La Demie-vie of this molécule et combien de temps reste t'elle dans l'organisme ?? Merci à vous ______________________________ Translation to English via Google: Hello I am writing to France I laroxyl under 6 drops SINCE 2 years. I Begin the withdrawal in January of this year with a 5 % of departing and here I am to 4% ALL 15 days. I would say that at present all are well, apart from some stomach problems but nothing stops me from moving forward. I 'd really like to know The Half- life of this molecule and how long it remains in the body you ?? thank you
  23. I started tapering from Prozac, 40 mg and Elavil 40 mg in Oct. 2015. I did not know if I could do it. One of my motivations was 3 years of chronic pelvic pain which started while I was on medication. Then all through 2016 I got sick. I spent 2016 in bed, mostly too tired to do very much and the withdrawal from the drugs was one of mostly forgetting to take the medications as I felt sick and had pains and distress, malaise, flu like symptoms In Nov. 2015 I got very dizzy. In Jan. 2016 I noticed that I had electric zaps up and down my spine and inner trembling. I became so weak in August of 2016, I could barely do anything. It felt like I had infections but I never had fever. By Dec. 2016 I had severe pelvic and groin pain. I could barely sit in Jan and Feb 2017. During all this time I felt ill, but not depressed. Today, I started to feel clinical depression coming on. I have seen a neurologist who discounted my symptoms of neuropathy. I notice that anything can trip the inner trembling and inner electric zap feelings on. In the past and recently there were no explanations of gynecological pain (all tests normal) or abdominal pain ( had 2 colonoscopies). I could put up with all the symptoms - but now 17 months after I started - I am really depressed. My nervous system seems to be hyper and reacts to everything with very subtle neuropathic symptoms which the neurologist discounted. I thought about reinstating prozac but I am scared. I was on antidepressants for 20 years and could not discontinue any of them before. This is the first time I made it - but I think I have peripheral neuropathy and I may not be able to reinstate to any antidepressants. I am still seeing my psych doc thinking that I should go back. But would it be safe?
  24. I was put on Amitriptyline originally for migraines. Over a 3 month period I tried 3 different drugs - Amitriptyline 25mg 10 days Topamax (anti-convulsant) 25mg 28 days Pamelor (TCA) 10mg 8 days Amitriptyline 10mg - 20mg maybe a month (they told me I could take 20mg on bad days) Two days after I stopped, I couldn't sleep the entire night. I called my doctor and they said because my dose was so low, it was fine to go off the way I did. I functioned for 3 weeks and then it hit me like the flu. It's been almost 7 weeks since and I have experienced: Muscle spasms Weakness in legs/parasthesia/leg pain Electric sensations which feel like nerve pain in arms and legs Insomnia Body aches (worse in morning) Eye twitches Loss of appetite Light sensitivity - hard to look at anything on phone or computer None of the doctors will acknowledge my health declined after I stopped. I have had so many tests including a trip to Columbia University for a neurological work-up, rheumatological tests, viruses, MRIs, thyroid, Lyme, glucose, etc. I am considering trying Lexapro liquid at 10 and then tapering down to see if it helps any of my symptoms. I am 32 years old and am not really functioning in my daily life. I just opened a business this year so I have to get my life back on track soon! My husband or family doesn't really understand and it makes it so much more stressful! Any thoughts or advice would be greatly appreciated!
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