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  1. Hi, I'm glad to be here, I have been here before, had to do withdrawal way too many times before. I could really use your encouragement and support, I feel so alone, not too many people understand this nightmare. I'm now tapering Abilify, I was on 5mg now Im on 2mg, for almost one year now. Im also on 50mg Amitriptyline and 20 mg buspar. I went on these meds because of a con man pharmacist, that told me I could take high doses of progesterone to help ease withdrawal from a muscle relaxer I was tapering off of. My story is long and complicated, in a nutshell, progesterone in high doses can act as a benzo, with my 20 year history with benzos, that wasn't good. I was on 800mg of progesterone cream. Then I was cold turkeyed off of it,estrogen and the muscle relaxer (zanaflex). I was a complete mess!!! I wound up in the hospital, where they put me on amytriptaline, then later the buspar and abilify. Anyway, Im now tapering the abilify, I feel very anxious,nauseous, morning adrenaline surge and depressed, its horrible! I may have tapered too fast. I have read your posts on tapering to go at a rate of 10% per month. I know all to well about this, with my benzo history and all. I cut the 5mg pill, in half, and was at 2 1/2mg for a couple of months, now Im down to 2mg, been here for about 15 days. Its weird, I had a couple of good windows while on the 2 1/2mg dose, but it was up and down though. Now at this 2mg dose, I'm REALLY struggling. What do you think??? Any advice would be welcome. I know cutting is not the best way to do this. I now have a gemini scale, and plan on taking it down much slower. I would titrate with water, but I don't think abilify is water soluble. I sleep really good, the amytriptaline help with that. I will eventually taper that and the buspar. I don't think buspar has done much for me. Thanks for reading, look forward to hearing from you.
  2. Hello, everyone. Before starting my topic I want to thank founders of this site, stuff and everyone who is writing here. I am visiting SA for many months almost daily. This site helped me to survive. Many times I wanted to start my introduction topic and join discussions but I was not sure that I can express myself in English. The story of my meds started in 1992. I was hospitalized with PTSD. That time I was underage and no one asked me if I want meds. My parents did not have any idea about psychotropic drugs and became agree with doctor’s choice. First day I spent in the transparent room where all kinds of sick people and drugged people stayed on arrival. In the evening I got my first injection (seems to me Diazepam, but may be I am mistaking). This injection switched me off for 2 days. I was living in fog, could not recognize relatives etc. After that they shifted me to the normal room and doctors started their treatment. So many years passed and now I can't remember all medicines I got in that hospital. I remember for sure Haloperidol, Amitriptylinum, Cyclodol. There was something else (actually it was a huge drug cocktail), but I forgot the names. I stayed in hospital for 40 days and then I was prescribed to take them further, but I followed the advice only for a month, and then abruptly stopped taking pills. As a result, I got what was expected – derealization, insomnia, tremor, nausea, mood swings and much more. It lasted for few months, then it got better. No w/d symptoms for many years. Now I understand how lucky I was that time. Of coarse I did stupidity that I dropped all meds at once. If I tapered slowly I would not have all those consequences. Anyway I recovered comparatively fast (and I guess I would recover from my trauma even faster if I did not go to hospital). I have no idea why my recovery was so successful that time. May be I was young and body was actively helping itself… Or may be meds were different… I don’t know for sure but people say that old meds do not form dependence like latest generation of meds do. May be true may be not… It could be too that I was taking those drugs just for 2 months that’s why w/d was not that much bad. So that story was burried in past and I could never imagine that I would take these meds again. But in 2013 it happened. Severe stress triggered the depression (insomnia, loss of weight, anxiety etc.) and since then another story of meds started. I know I had to be more careful because I already had experience of taking psychotropic drugs. I told about it to my doctor but she convinced me that 20 years before medicines were different and now they have such advanced technologies blah-blah-blah So I believed there’s nothing to worry about and agreed to take Magic Pill with beautiful name… Paxil. And this was begging of my nightmare… Sorry I can’t tell all my story today. But I will definitely do it later. Thanks to everyone who red my story.
  3. First I apologize ahead of this is worded awkwardly as I'm not in the best of places. Was tapering K until major abdominal surgery Sept 2014. Developed a near fatal spinal infection from surgery then had to taper off three narcotics from that and then baclofen. Two weeks after baclofen wd ending I cut on the bz taking me to 1.375 of K. (Start dose was 12mg K as of 2011) A few weeks later I cut K again in a small cut. I had to go back up to 1.375 as I couldn't cope. Realized I'd pushed myself too hard and health was deteriorating both physically and mentally. I've been holding on cutting everything and now I have to move probably January 1 of 2015. I am alone in every respect of the word so I have to be able to look after myself. How this relates to antidepressants is that after looking at the fact I am on 100 mg of Amitrip and how it interacts with other drugs I'm on (PPI, acid blocker, thyroid and BP med) I'd pretty much decided it wud b best to get off the amitrip before finishing the benzo taper. I have been doing reading on here about tapering Amitryp and I came across something saying that one should not taper Amitryp if tapering a bz. This was not meaning both at the same time but regarding the entire process of tapering both separately. I've scoured this site and for the life of me I cannot find this info again yet I'm positive I read it. This leaves me in a quandary as to what to do... Continue the bz taper or do the Amitrip. I'm open to both of course but want to proceed safely. I am aware of all slow tapering facts so that is not the issue. The issue is which to do safely first. All this is complicated by this move. I've been holding on the last K cut for a bit over two months to regain physical strength. In this time I've yet to begin having anything close to a restorative sleep and I'm experiencing really crazy stuff I've not before in the now 5 years I've been tapering. Its reached a point I go a night without any sleep at all. The next night I'll sleep and then half the morning. I'm becoming a total wreck and I've got this move. I realize this point probably covers a ton of "issues" that perhaps need be dealt with separately but I'm unable to do so in the mindset I'm stuck in now. I feel at the point of crisis. Plainly and simply I don't know what to do. Any insight is appreciated especially in regard to whether taper bz or Amitrip given what I'm positive I read on here as to it not being wise to taper amitrip if in the middle of a bz taper. Thank you so very kindly ahead of time for any help. I'm losing hope. This has been a very lonely journey and I'm without support at all except online. Thank you again.
  4. I'm so glad to have found this forum, I think this is just what I need to finally get free of the tricyclics that I've been on for most of my life. It's really amazing to me that I've actually been on drugs for so long, without any really serious attempt to break free until last June. I always assumed that I could get off it fairly easily if I wanted to, after all, I had missed a night or two now and then, and aside from disturbed sleep and sweats, it was totally bearable. I didn't really get the fact that I wasn't going to get the real effects of withdrawal until I was about a week out. Then the s*** really hits the fan. Amitryptiline was my way of dealing with low-grade depression, and the 4 o'clockies that came along with that. A few years ago I started dealing with perimenopause, and the insomnia issues become much more severe. Eventually I started on progesterone, which was a godsend for me, and my depression has completely lifted. At the beginning of last year I got very serious about the insomnia issue, and getting very healthy in all ways--the list of things I have done for insomnia could fill a book. Suffice it to say that I'm very healthy otherwise (great diet, sleep hygiene, etc..) and I'm tired of being on this drug! I know it is messing with my blood sugar and interacting with the hormones. I've got to simplify things. In June I made my first real attempt to get off. I was only taking 6 mg. at the time, so I naively thought jumping off would be fairly easy. The first week wasn't bad, just light-headed and spacy, a bit of an upset stomach. But by week two, my stomach was in a total uproar, insomnia came back with a vengeance, and I started to feel positively ill. Then I finally did some research and realized this was not going to be easy. I have some experience with tapering off of a benzo, so I know the principles. Can believe I was so clueless! I bounced my dosage up and down for years, never really understanding what I was doing to my body. Currently I'm on 12.5 mg. amitryptiline. My sleep is still very unsettled with the hormone changes and addition of estrogen. I'm going to try to stabilize and get my sleep settled, on the estrogen for a while longer, as the sleep I do get is much better quality (very deep and restful). If I can't (too much reliance on sleeping pills) I'll have to drop the estrogen and reevaluate. Once I am stabilized my plan is to start a very slow taper. I figure it will probably take about a year. If anyone has feedback on this plan, or familiarity with a tricyclic taper, I'd love to hear from them! The idea of finally being drug free is very exciting to me.
  5. We are in Columbus, Ohio and my son's pediatrician doesn't have experience with these brain altering medicines and just seems to know dosages. we are going through a very rough time and have to make a decision about stopping Ami and go through horrible withdrawal symptoms (which he gets as we have tried reducing it just by 10 mg) So i need your advice whatever you can give, please. I don't want to go to another inexperienced doctor. Anyway let me tell you all the details and I am sorry its long one so that you have a whole scenario. it started in a wrong way. The GI doctor couldn't figure out anything and then we had a new pediatrician who immediately diagnosed him with CVS. I wa impressed and did what she asked me to do as my son was third day into his cycle and his high school had started (freshman). She prescribed Ami 50 mg. By the time we got time to read more about it, which my husband and me always do with any new medicine, we already had given one dose to my son. We realized it was a heavy dose to start with but first time we didn't read about a medicine and probably made the biggest mistake. Anyway we still didn't read the white papers etc to know that dosage shouldn't be changed drastically. Next day my son was like a zombie and extremely irritable. So we reduced the dose into half. He was completely recovered from puke cycle the first day itself and after reducing the dose to half he was doing great in every way. We though we found a wonder drug. We confirmed with pediatrician about reducing dosage and she was happy we did! Our happiness lasted only 5 days. 6th day after passing stools (as the cycle always start) he started throwing up a bit and then lot of dry heaving with uncomfortable tummy. Those are his symptoms of CVS every cycle. So we thought its his cycle. It was a weekend so we waited until Monday and called the doctor. Like any other doctor who just know various emergency medicine names, she prescribed imitrex etc. Nothing was helping and by Friday we thought Ami at least is not working, lets stop it. Then I had an idea that 50mg worked,so lets try giving it. And it worked like a charm. Anyway after 2 days again, due to side effects, to make him go to school, we reduced the dose to 40 mg this time. Unfortunately the cycle started again in 5 days, weekend again. We tried giving 50 mg Ami that night and again it worked like a charm. But again we reduced to 40 mg on Monday, due to drowsiness and hadn't still realized that all the cycles since 2 weeks were withdrawal effects of reducing the dosage. This time on 2 days of 40 mg, my son started having urine retention and we reduced the dosage to 30 mg. Somehow while thinking about it that night I realized that previous 2 episodes must be withdrawal effects as I remembered reading people could not stop it. i woke up at night and started reading and was assured they were withdrawal effects. And as expected the next day while he was on 30 mg, the withdrawal effects started. That was last Friday. We thought about it and decided to go 50 mg and stick to it. We read that side effects go away after some time. This time it took 3 days for him to recover from withdrawal effects after starting him back on 50 mg, we still thought its okay. But then 2 days later he started throwing up again and I started wondering what to do. The doctor kept telling us to go cold turkey or reduce drastically. But finally 4 more days later (continuing 50mg), we decided to reduce by 5 mg every week. He is throwing up every morning and canot go to school. He is better later in the evening. But every mornig its horrible. Please help from your experience what do you think we should we do? Can we redcue 5 mg every week since he has had 50 mg for 7-8 days only on a regular basis? Please, please anyone experienced tell me whatever you think we should do.
  6. Hello everybody! And thank you for this forum I have just discovered. I am reading it through but in the meantime I explain my story to you. So, I am Italian leaving in Spain, I am almost 33 and during one of the treatments I I followed to cure my vulvodynia I unfortunately had to take antidepressants (1 year and a half of Laroxyl up to 15 drops I think) and another year and a half of Cymbalta (up to 90mg). None of these antidepressants cured me, they only relieved some symptoms and moreover I began to have side effects, so I decided to quit them at the end of 2014. My neurologist told me to drop from 90 mg to 0 mg of Cymbalta in approx. 6 weeks. I experienced at the beginning a sort of vertigo which slowly went away, together with low mood. I also began having ringing which never went away. After about one month from the suspension, in February 2015 I began feeling inner tremors and shakes, I was feeling always tense and nervous, from when I woke up to when I went to bed. I went to another neurologist explaining my symptons and she referred it as chemical imbalances due to this suspension and she put me on a month on bromazepam, and I was back to normal. I suspended it and I felt the same symptoms again, so we decided to start Lyrica which could help both my anxiety and my chronic pain. Lyrica helped, as the inner tremor and shakes went away, but they returned at the end of November 2015. Desperate I went back to bromazepam and I was a little better, but then I decided I want to get rid of both Lyrica and anxyolitics, so I began to take them away little by little. At some point I felt normal meds free but only for a week as I began to have jaw problems because of my bruxism, and few weeks ago I was diagnosed with disc luxation because of stress/anxiety, so my system activated again with shakes and inner tremors and ever since never deactivated. I began feeling again from the morning to the night inner tremors and shakes, together with ringings and sense of huge tension and stress and this still occurs until now. I know I won't kill or hurt myself but there are times I have thoughts I want my life to be over as I suffer too much and don't have a pause or ever feel relaxed. I forgot to tell i have mutation of Factor V of Leiden and mutation of gene MHTFR. All my doctors (neurologist, psychiatrist, family doctor, cardioligist) refer my symptons as anxiety and that this is my personality and when questioned why I began to felt that way I never felt before, they say that I probably always had anxiety but until that moment my anxiety was blocked by those drugs. They said that antidepressants don't harm the brain ( I did a MRI and that was ok) and that it's not WD as my body already deintoxicated from these substances long ago. I have to say, I am an anxious person and tend to worry about things but I never felt this way. I went on therapy for some years and did improve in many things so I can't explain how I feel now. I don't refer it as something psychological - of course there are some stressors which trigger me and of course I feel stress and anxiety from time to time but not that long and that high- but rather as something physical. Almost nothing except anxyolitics help me, I tried meditation, yoga, mindfulness, relaxing herbs, 5htp, relaxation techniques but I have no relieve. What do you think I suffer from your experience? Anxiety or WD? What is your advice? Is it bad to resist again these symptoms and should i go back to meds or should I give time for my body to heal? And how? It's been 1 year and a half already and it's been a hell... Do you know doctors I can refer to? What should I do? Are there supplements that help our body healing? Thanks a lot for your help, Regards, xxx
  7. Over a year ago I was put on this to help with digestive issues, I thought it was helping at first but I think now its causing me issues plus I am trying to get off some medications. My first question is should I wean off? If so what would be an ideal tapering schedule? Any help would be greatly appreciated!
  8. I have been on and off antidepressants since I was 14 and each time I tried I believed myself to be entirely alone in the effort. I am hugely grateful that I've found this group and have already learned so much reading through these forums. I recently gave birth to the most beautiful little girl in the world. When I learned I was pregnant I tried to go off my wellbutrin and lyrica (for ptsd and chronic pain) cold turkey on the advice of my gynocologist. It was a terrible experience. I completely fell apart and lived in 24/7 panic attack mode. They soon put me back on wellbutrin and replaced lyrica with amitryptoline. I felt so ashamed I couldn't "make it" off meds even for the sake of my unborn child. Now I wonder if it wasn't the withdrawal that had made me feel so terrible? After the birth, my GP suggested I alternate one day on, one day off wellbutrin to wtihdraw -- I've now learned that was terrible advice! At the same time I was tapering off the amitryptoline. I'm now off wellbutrin completely but am still on the lowest dose of amytriptoline. I'd deeply appreciate any thoughts on how to best go off that final 25mg dose. Also might anyone know some good alternative treatments for chronic pain, residing mostly in the shoulders, neck and head?
  9. Hello, I found this site while checking reviews about supplements sold by another site. Thank the Universe I was compelled to do so, saved myself a lot of $$. Read around a bit and knew that I had come home. In 1992 I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and part of that was insomnia. I was started on 25mg of Amitriptyline and am still on that same dose today. However, life happened and the pain and everything made me depressed. Over the years I went from one anti depressant to another, and the Wellbutrin was the last. I stopped taking it cold turkey, never thought twice about it and had no side effects (that I recognized!) I am not sure how it is I was so oblivious, as I am usually a very inquisitive person and am constantly researching and reading about anything. ​Maybe a light bulb went on because of what's been happening slowly over the past 6 months. All changes from one to the next went OK, stopped and started one after another. Until I was only on the Amitriptyline again. Then I had sleep issues again, and a doctor suggested Klonopin. He did not think I should have Xanax. In fact, he dropped it and I did go through a few weeks of tense emotions. The Klonopin was offered long after. This doctor allowed me to be on Hydrocodone, 2 ea of 10/325. Then my insurance changed and the next doctor fussed a bit, then OK'd it, but after a year she dropped me, because she thought I was doctor shopping. (I had a root canal and an extraction, each cost me many $$, and certainly not worth getting 16 5/325 Vicodin for) I had to look for another doctor, and this one refused to give me the pain medication. What she did is had me withdraw unsupervised and way too fast. This all gives me great hope that I will make it through my current journey. My wings have been clipped, and I am not liking this at all. This last doctor who took my pain meds away wanted to start me on Lyrica, I refused, knowing is causes weight gain, a fact that is actually well known. Unfortunately I allowed her to talk me into taking Cymbalta, which can also cause weight gain, especially once partnered with the Amitriptyline and Klonopin. Wings were growing back, but the added weight in the past 6 months has made it almost impossible to move, let alone fly.... Around Christmas I had Pneumonia, but it would not go away, so I asked for a chest x-ray, on the 1 year anniversary of quitting smoking. Findings were an enlarged heart and a partially collapsed lung. And the letter read that we'd discuss in 3 months at the next appointment........ Long story short, I called to talk to her, to learn she was gone for a month. I was so angry - so I asked to see a different doctor, one I had seen before, and he has great bedside manners! Ultrasound revealed heart is OK, not sure about the lungs, but the coughing and wheezing is pretty much gone now. I quit seeing that woman and switched - and on my 1st official appointment, I took my meds with with me and one by one I asked questions, and he told me the truth, and we made a plan. maybe his plan is possible, we shall see. Based on past experience, I apparently can handle withdrawals. But I do not want to travel this journey alone, so I am glad I found all of you. We also agreed on dropping the Amitriptyline and he told me about Klonopin causing Dementia and Alzheimer's, and he encouraged me to let that go, too. I told him that I was no longer taking Buspar, it was not working, I kept forgetting to take it (for anxiety) and it did nothing for/to me. I only took it for a week or so) I started tapering on Monday 21st of March. The night from the 24th to the 25th I had a bad dream, woke up with heart palpitations, checked it and was at 135 heart rate. oops. very odd feelings. I recalled reading about settling these effect by taking a Benzo - so I did. It helped. I have re-set my game plan to get off Cymbalta and Amitriptyline first. The Klonopin next. For sleep I was given Trazadone. But I am looking for natural ways to get me sleepy and sleeping again. Now, all my reading the past few days has shown that many experience a great range of symptoms, either while still on the drugs or as they are withdrawing. I felt it might be safe to stick with folks who understand and I can learn so much from you. My goal is to bring the Phoenix back to life - to find that part that I lost again, all the while losing a few pounds - especially what I gained the past 6 months, rendering me useless (in my opinion) and I will not live like this any longer. It's dangerous too, as I fall and have hurt myself, not good. I am committed to success using as many natural tools as I can. Am on supplements now and notice how much better I feel already. Thanks for reading this. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/11690-ingridphoenix-i-want-to-fly-again/
  10. I general, how easily do people become dependent on nortriptyline? I really don't want to become dependent on nortriptyline and later have to taper it over months with similar withdrawal symptoms to my benzos. So I would welcome any views on the risks involved in my use of nortriptyline. BACKGROUND: I am taking 10mg nortriptyline to help reduce the terrible head aches and head pressure I have been getting during my taper off benzos. (After 10 years of taking different benzos, I have tapered from 18mg diazepam to 2mg over 20 months.) I may even have to increase the nortriptyline to 15mg or 20mg if my headaches return. I hope to take the 10-15mg nortriptyline for a total time of 6 to 8 months. I have never taken nortriptyline before and the last antidepressant I took was Parnate about 15 years ago. I know from my benzo experience and from hanging out on another benzo board that everyone responds differently but any generalizations would still be useful in helping me decide how to use nortriptyline. Thank you for any advice or information.
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