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  1. Hi everyone. I've been on several psych meds since December 2015. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and PTSD. I am on gabapentin, wellbutrin, trazodone and lamictal. Over the past few months I have noticed increased side affects: dizziness, losing my balance, involuntary movement, and severe gastrointestinal issues. I talked to my psychiatrist about getting me off the medications and she is not supportive. She said I need to be on them for life, like a person who has a physical disease. I got sober a year ago from alcohol, am active in my church and recovery community, eat healthy, exercise, and feel I can handle life without being medicated at all. I'm starting with the gabapentin (10% taper) I'm already having anxiety and side affects. I know I have to go slow, one medication at a time. This is really scary and I'm worried I'm never going to be off all of it. I'd appreciate any suggestions.
  2. Have taken Lexapro 25mg/ once daily with Wellbutrin 450XL/ once daily for about ten years. I now want to very slowly taper and stop the Wellbutrin. Am learning as much as I can before hand. I won't do this without my Drs supervision. The Wellbutrin is in three-150mg tablets. So far, I've learned the XL meds, once cut, become "instant release" instead of timed release, etc. What are your experiences tapering off Wellbutrin XL?
  3. Hello everyone, thank you for creating and building such a fantastic resource. It’s so helpful to read about the journeys of others here. I was advised by my GP to speak with a psychiatrist in April 2016. The GP suspected I had depression & anxiety. I met with a psychiatrist for an assessment. I’d been through a lot of stressful experiences in life. Life had dealt me a tough hand, and I was already quite vulnerable when I arrived in his office. At the end of the assessment, the psychiatrist diagnosed me with depression and anxiety and prescribed me Bupropion 300mg and clonazepam 2 mg+ per day. I was never keen on the idea of taking medication, but the Dr said I needed it as I had “disorders” caused by chemical imbalances, and that I was lucky to have made it this far without it. I don’t believe that for one moment and now feel I was misinformed. If I had been warned about the side effects, I would never have put them in my body. I’ve been through some hard times, but the medication has served me with the hardest and most agonising four months of my life. To make things worse, after a couple of months seeing him every few weeks the psychiatrist offered me a job. It was a slightly unusual series of events, but I felt lucky to have been given the opportunity. I worked hard, was often praised for it and I was given reassurance my role was pretty much permanent. I loved my job. It gave me purpose and a role in the world. My self-esteem rocketed as I felt I’d been specially selected for showing signs of promise, it changed everything. However, the different roles called for different protocols, and the roles of “therapist” and “boss” required disparate and often conflicting styles of relating. The Doctor providing me with a job and treating me outside of the clinic caused the boundaries between Psychiatrist and employer to become extremely blurred. Even though it was unorthodox, I pinned a lot of faith on the Psychiatrist, his advice and the job he gave me. He gave me hope and faith for the future. August 2016: Prescribed Sertraline 100mg due to depression remaining and increasing number of bad moods. October 2016: While at work the Psychiatrist commented he suspected I had ADHD. Despite not suffering from day to day symptoms I completed the DIVA ( ADHD assessment ) with him, He prescribed methylphenidate 10mg 2-3 times a day. Over time I didn’t feel any improvement in mood, so the dose was increased to 20mg x5 (up to 100mg+ per day). I asked the Psychiatrist about alternative ADHD treatments as I was apprehensive about taking more medication. The Psychiatrist informed me that there were no ADHD treatments in my area and even if there were he would not be prepared to enter into a shared care agreement. I believed treatment with him was my only option. I was told there were no services or specialists other than him and the only treatment available was medication. March 2017: The symptoms started with a lump sensation in my throat like there's some thing stuck, maybe it’s my thyroid. I went to the GP who said it was globus or anxiety and it was nothing to worry about, but I know it’s not anxiety as it’s there even when I’m not anxious. Next came tremors, dizziness and chronic fatigue. I was struggling to think, speak and walk. I felt as though a part of my brain had shut down. I had strong pains in my chest, dull aches that moved around my back and occasional shooting stabbing pains in my back and leg that stopped me in my tracks when I did walk. April 2017: The relationship seemed to work well initially but became very confusing until eventually I was dropped not only occupationally but therapeutically. My false sense of security was pulled from beneath my feet. I'm sorry to say last time the Psychiatrist, and I spoke he was abrupt, abrasive, insensitive and rude. I’ve been left in shock, fear, trepidation and with more health problems than before I met the Psychiatrist. At the time I thought the stress of losing my job caused me to become unwell, but after discovering James Moores Mad in America podcast, listing to peoples stories and reading a little, I think I’d reached a tolerance point with the medication and started to have terrible side effects. By this point, I’d lost faith in the Doctor so felt I couldn’t ask him for help. I think part of me knew it was the medication as I went to my GP, firstly to find the Psychiatrist hadn’t been keeping my records up to date. I told the GP what I had been prescribed, and I was told it would be impossible to identify what was causing the problems. I naively agreed with my GP that the best option would be to stop taking all medication, however stopping without tapering has left me with a long list of withdrawal symptoms. I stopped taking sertraline, clonazepam & methylphenidate that day and cut my dose of bupropion in half for one week then stopped the following week completely. Every symptom I already had, got worse, tremors, dizziness, feeling unsteady, feeling like I might pass out, loss of coordination, back pain. The fatigue was so bad, I couldn’t walk for more than a minute or so which lead to me not being able to leave the house. My partner was having real trouble getting me out of bed in the morning, and after a few hours of being up, I’d need to go back to bed due to feeling exhausted. I think I was putting it down to severe depression, but I didn’t feel depressed, I just felt numb. After a couple of days of stopping I started to get really bad night sweats, I’d wake up stinky, drenched with my mouth tasting how I smelt, it was horrible. The chest & back pain continued to get worse and progressed to tingling and numbness in my arm. I’ve been to the hospital three times in the past four months in various states of feeling close to death but sent home every time. I’ve been to the GP many times as the side effects have left me with so many physical symptoms and feeling so ill. I had numerous blood tests and even though I felt like I’d been poisoned every test came back clear. August 2017: The fatigue has lifted slightly, the part of my brain that felt as though it had broken is slowly coming back, and I’m smelling much better :). I continue to have flu like symptoms and intense joint and muscle pain, mainly in my back, shoulder and arm and I’m not entirely sure if the pain will ever go away. I feel like a very rickety eighty-year-old. My GP finally acknowledged some of these side effects last week. They haven’t been able to give me much support due to stopping taking so many different medications at the same time and stopping cold turkey. The GP did frustratingly say some of what I’m going through maybe down to the return of depression and anxiety. I’m only depressed as I’m in so much pain and have anxiety as my nerves are messed up. I’m a little worried that the medication has caused permanent damage. I accept a return in my depression and anxiety, but I have so many physical difficulties that began following and since stopping taking the medication. I trusted the Psychiatrist and put my life in his hands. Looking back, I feel like I was led astray, betrayed and like I’ve been chemically assaulted. Before everything went wrong, I recommended the Psychiatrist to some friends who also became patients of his. They were given a similar diagnosis to the one I’d been given, told they also had chemical imbalances and they too prescribed a similar cocktail of medication including methylphenidate and told to contact him when they needed a repeat prescription. After a couple of months, they both began asking me why he wasn’t returning their calls or emails. When I spoke with him about this, he said they had contacted him last minute, and for that, he wasn’t going to reply right away as he didn’t do last minute. Eventually one of my friends requested to have her care transferred as she lost faith in him. The other works at one of his clinics, and is still having problems with him returning her emails and calls and providing her with prescriptions when needed. She has told me there'd been many occasions recently that other patients of his have called his clinic in tears as they are unable to get hold of him. I also know a woman who was under his care at the inpatient unit long before I met him. She said he had given her a combination of medications. She told me it made her feel like a zombie. For one reason or another, she was transferred to a different psychiatrist who questioned why she was on so much medication and immediately began to reduce her dose. No one was warned about side effects and withdrawals, supported, monitored or made aware they’d have to request prescriptions on the Psychiatrists personal terms. It was hugely irresponsible of him to tell people they need medication due to a medical condition and chemical imbalance and to encourage dependence on medication and not provide support, information, monitoring and often fail to provide the advised medication to patients dependant on it. I’m so happy to have found this incredible community and source of information, it's allowing me to start making sense of what I’ve been and am going through. It’s such a relief to learn I’m not the only one feeling this way. The support and compassion I’ve seen on this forum is incredible and a brilliant way of making good of what everyone here has been through. Trusting I’m going to get better and connecting with others isn’t easy at the moment, but I’m hoping it’s going to get easier. My heart goes out to everyone that has been through or who is going through withdrawal. x
  4. Hi everyone. Thanks for reading this! This is my first post but I've read a lot. I'm in the south. 28 year old male. around 3 years ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety disorder and started seeing a therapist and psychiatrist at the same office. I have a great relationship with both and I really trust them 100% with my care. I currently take 300 Wellbutrin, lamictal, buspar, abilify and cogentin Wellbutrin has been awesome over the years and so has buspar and lamictal. I was not diagnosed bipolar but they are using it as a mood stabilizer and it works well However over the years I've had some pretty bad circumstances and been on and off abilify. It works I guess in the way it can stop my obsessing andrew my mind slow down etc. I had been on about 10mg a year ago or so and then I stopped when I started lamictal. I had a bad turn around October last year and the cycle started again. Right now I'm on 5mg split between morning and night. 2.5mg. Oh and add the cogentin for good measure I have started to be quite foggy and started having some short term memory issues I think. The only thing we have changed in the last while was adding the cogentin and abilify back. I'm so worried my memory will not come back. I also need to talk to my pdoc this week as I want to start tapering off it. Thanks for reading! My mood was up and down and we started
  5. Hello all. I'm not sure my signature will show up. I'm on 0.33 mg Lexapro (liquid) and 25 mg Bupropion SR. I have been serious about tapering over the last year. My highest doses were 150mg Bupropion and 20mg Lexapro (2008). I started on Wellbutrin to offset the sleepiness caused by Lexapro. My goal is to get off both drugs, but my tapers over the last year have all been from Lexapro. I've noticed my PMS is much worse than before and in general my lows are much lower now than when I was on higher doses. But otherwise I feel ok most of the time. Questions: Should I focus on quitting Bupropion instead of Lexapro for a while? At what point can I stop taking Lexapro? I've been reducing about 10% with each taper, but this could go on forever. At what point is it ok to end it completely? Thank you in advance for your help.
  6. fgjhs

    fgjhs: My story

    My psychiatrict medication regimine may have completely missed the mark. I found out recently that I had a small lacunar infarct/stroke in 2010. My cognition issues may be more related to that than ADHD. I started to have difficulty with working just around the time I had the stroke or soon after. I am on quitea cocktail of medications for the treatement of ADHD, anxiety and depression per the psychopharmacology physician I see. I have been on bupropion for 20 years, having been titrated up to 350mg daily total. 150mg am, 150mg at 12noon and 75mg at 5pm. I am so tired of all this medicine. Seeking iv amino acid infusion because I understand this will allow me to wean off the bupropion. At any rate, I need to see a neurologist who specializes in cognition and can evaluate my medication regime. Be well. FGJHS
  7. I am currently weaning off from both Wellbutrin and Abilify according to my psychiatrist's instructions, and I'm experiencing fatigue and loss of interest in doing anything. When I drink some strong coffee, my ability to cope and work returns, though I don't want to be dependent on caffeine either. It's my fifth day currently of not taking any medicine at all. I was told by my doctor that to return to myself without medication, it'll take about 7 - 9 days total. I'm hoping that it's just the withdrawal of medicine that's making me feel fatigued and uninterested in things, because I don't want to be like this naturally. These medicines were used to treat depression, but my doctor now suspects that I have bipolar II disorder. In case things go really bad before our appointment next week, he gave me a backup prescription of Carbamazepine -- but I really don't want to take it after reading the side effects. I was hoping that through exercise, I can cure my depressive episodes, just like some people have cured depression through rigorous exercise. I admit I am not exercising every day, but I did manage to run half a mile twice last week. I think I'm getting there, hopefully, and I'll try really hard. Essentially, I'm on a journey now to be medication-free and learn how to cope better without it (and I think I am more emotionally mature now, and all that needs to change is my energy levels and mood).
  8. Hi, I've been on and off every antidepressant for the last 22 years . I started antidepressants when I was 13 because my parents are pill freaks and I was being bullied in school and not happy about it. I've taken every antidepressant ever made and gone off most of them very rapidly. Over the years my insomnia, anxiety, and depression have gotten so severe I can't even function or see straight. I have trouble focusing my eyes. The fatigue is overwhelming and I only sleep 3 to 5 hours total a night. I took a break from meds for the last 1 year and 3 months from all meds and none of my problems got better. I tried Celexa for a week last week hoping it would fix all my problems but it made me much worse in every way however it did fix my vision problems and issues with a runny nose. I live in Los Angeles. Does anyone know where I can turn locally to fix my problems? What is going on with me? I can't live like this anymore. Pleas help!
  9. Introduction. 61 years old, male. I take Cymbalta, Buproprion and Lamictal. I will continue with Buproprion and Lamictal after Cymbalta tapering is complete. Before I started Cymbalta I tried several SSRI's. They made me feel better but have terrible side effects including shaking hands, erectile dysfunction even with Viagra and the other one, and they poop out. On advice of Shrink I switched to Cymbalta and after 15 years on it now I must taper. It has never pooped out, but the erectile dysfunction can last for several months until it decides to cooperate, usually while dreaming at night. Since having to get out of bed to disrobe ruins the moment, I started to sleep in the nude in order to be ready for action upon waking. Even then it is an uncertain proposition. I am divorced twice, do not want a relationship. and even if I did it would still be sexually unsatisfying (for me). A relationship with Rosey Palm and her five sisters is difficult enough. After taking 60 mg for years I reduced to 30 milligrams by simply taking one generic capsule rather than 2. I did not know about the severe symptoms associated with Cymbalta withdrawal. When I first reduced, after about a week I became nauseous and vomited multiple times per day, often for minutes at a stretch to the point I had trouble taking a breath. The symptoms lasted about a month. I thought I might have pancreatic cancer and my doctor scheduled me for a GI scope exam. It was normal. The doctor did not know I was quitting Cymbalta. I have now been taking 30 mg/day consistently now for about 6 months. During that time I came to realize my sickness was due to Cymbalta withdrawal. It was this website that made me realize it plus the fact I remembered the shrink did tell me to be very careful when I discontinue the Cymbalta and he rolled his eyes but gave no further details. Before I reduced to one pill per day my symptoms became absolutely intolerable. I visited Rosey less and less often, my hand shaking became so severe I cannot write by hand because it is so completely illegible it looks like a young child's scribbling. Using the keyboard is difficult because my hands miss the key I intend to press, and using the mouse requires my left hand to apply pressure on my right hand to keep it from jerking around so much. I also had to adjust the mouse settings to better allow for shaking. My legs also became week above the knees, and I was unable to control them. I could not walk down a straight hallway without crashing into the walls. Sometimes I could barely crawl. I would fall often and crash into furniture and the walls every time I went from one room to another. I had to keep my arms and hands ready to save myself from harm, but I was still falling, even over a pair of socks on the floor. I could not live that way anymore and I was able to associate it with Cymbalta because my hands started to shake, much more mildly than they do now, as soon as soon as I started the SSRIs. After reducing to one pill (30 mg) per day, I still have those symptoms but to a much lesser degree. I am now sure it is the Cymbalta that was and is responsible for it all. This site recommends 10% per month. I bought #4 gel caps and a filling machine. I filled ten capsules with nine 30 mg pills. Unfortunately my hands shake so severely that many of the beads went flying off. I suspect about 20% reduction is what resulted with no adverse effects. I took those ten pills once per day until gone. Because of the problem with my shaking hands, I decided to figure out a better method of reducing. I have. I went to a store that sells cloth and sewing supplies. For a couple of bucks I purchased some very sharp dress-maker needles with an end I could firmly grip. I also got a pin cushion. The pin is so sharp it is easy to puncture the 30 mg capsule, after I stabilize my right hand. For several days I let the pin penetrate the capsule at one end and pushed it through to penetrate the other end and come out that side. It now looked like a hot dog on a stick through both ends of the hot-dog. The pin allowed me to hold the capsule steady while I twisted the two sides of the capsule into a container until they separated. There was a lot of loss and ruined capsules. I went back to the store and purchased a nifty device used to retrieve thread from under the business end of a sewing machine, the part that goes up-and-down and holds the sewing needle. The device was pointed at one end, and tapered up to the handle. I already had a hobby puncturing tool that had a larger diameter at the sharp end than the pin, but more narrow than the nifty sewing device. Because the pin puncture was so small, no beads would come out of it. With the hobby tool, I was able to enlarge the pin hole but alas still no beads came out. But the sewing device tapered up to a very large diameter and I can easily create a hole big enough to let a single bead at a time come out of the hole when I give a slight squeeze to the capsule. I learned quickly how not to make the entire capsule to crack open, which is why I enlarge the hole in successive steps. I squeeze each capsule such that the bead escapes to the top of my cell phone that has black glass on it. The beads are easily identified. I have a rubber protector on the phone which contains the beads on the glass. For a little over a week I removed 20 beads from each capsule before taking it. I close up the hole with Burt's Bees chapped lip stick. It works great and is non-toxic. After over 3 weeks at a 10% taper, this morning I removed 40 beads which is contrary to advice given on this side. If I become sick again I know what to do at the first sign of nausea or other symptom. I want off Cymbalta as soon as possible so I am being more aggressive than perhaps I should in the hope I am one of those who can. If not, I will go slower. Good luck. My method of removing a counted number of beads really works, and I doubt a few beads more or less would matter much, at least not to me.
  10. I'm 32, I have a 6 year old, and I've decided I want to have another child finally. My GYN says, when you find out you're pregnant, just quit taking your medications. Wtf? I've been on wellbutrin xl, metoprolol, a beta blocker for heart rate associated with anxiety, and random benzos for about 5 years. I've been on and off of zoloft, which was rough. I take trazodone at night for sleep. And I've been on trintellix for a while now also, and I'm up to 20mg. Lately I've been so lethargic and having a hard time with any task, even getting dressed, brushing my teeth, much less actually cleaning up. I've also not been able to really get out of the house if I'm alone. I haven't had a xanax in over a week, so that's good, but idk what's going on. I've gained a ton of weight, constantly getting sick with something, and my skin looks terrible, and my eyes stay sunken in. I really want to come off of all my medications and rely on a more natural approach. I'm tired of feeling like a dead person walking around, and I want to feel things like I used to. I'm also running out of time to decide to quit everything and have another child. Where should I start tapering? Thanks for any advice.
  11. I took Wellbutrin XL for eleven years. The first couple of years at 150 mg, then up to 300 mg. About 5 years ago, 1/2 of a 2 mg Abilify every 3 days was added to the mix. I actually felt fine on the meds for the most part. I briefly went off of the Wellbutrin about 6 or 7 years ago, and then went right back on because I felt like crap. I'm actually only off the drugs now because my insurance changed, and I couldn't afford the drugs out of pocket. So when I ran out, I (FOOLISHLY) quit taking them. Cold turkey. I actually still have some of the Abilify, but I didn't want to take it without the Wellbutrin. It's been about 5 long weeks, but I no longer feel like I'm living underwater. However, I still have days or stretches of the day where I have brain fog, low motivation, and anhedonia. I know I should have tapered, but I didn't. The first two weeks, I ate like a pig--totally uncontrollable, especially at night--and felt like I was in molasses. I gained weight, which has become a problem. I've never had a weight problem my entire life, and then the last 3 years, I've gained 30 lbs. Then, I started taking L-Dopa and Tyrosine, which I think helped. But now, I'm looking to rebalance my brain without more brain altering substances that leave me dependent. For the past week (on tyrosine only, decided to take a break from the L-dopa), I've been unexpectedly tearful at certain moments, which I hadn't experienced since the year after my mother died (6 years ago). These have been prompted by real emotional situations (one friend's father died and we were commiserating about losing parents; another friend's dog died and one of my dogs died a year ago December). I'm realizing that I've been partially blunted by medication for so long, I'm not sure who I am emotionally or how who I am right now will shift as my brain continues to reboot. Right now, I'm trying to focus on eating a really healthy diet and weaning off of sugar and flour. I'm still drinking alcohol, which is my next thing to try to eliminate as I try to get my brain to function "normally" and to lose weight. I fear I may have monkeyed terribly with how my brain functioned and that I may not be able to get back to the way I was 10-12 years ago, which was going through some depression, but otherwise functioning well with eating, weight, motivation, exercise, etc.
  12. Hello A few months ago I started having tremors, jerks, whatever you want to call it. The tremors were/are bad. I tolerated the movements for a few weeks until my left hand started dancing around on its own in a meeting with a large account of mine. The prescribing doctor got a earful from me and I saw a neurologist who specialized in movement disorders. Went through the tests, and not once did any part of my body jerk. It did in the waiting room of course. His conclusion was the meds are causing this. It was time to get off of 1 or 2of them and sent his report over to the prescribing doctor. She has me going off 1 dose of the Lamotrigine. Its been 2 weeks and I feel like complete crap. I've been keeping a eye on my behavior since I'm cutting back. It is an adventure for sure. I just want the involuntary movement to stop.
  13. I was on citalopram (generic for celexa) for about 4 years along with Wellbutrin. I was doing awesome until I started to get some awful side effects from the medications- mainly seeing spots and stars and just feeling off and not myself. I decided to just get everything out of my system. I went off Wellbutrin and felt fine and stayed on the citalopram for another few months. I was planning my wedding so I decided to stay on that one. After my honeymoon I decided to go off citalopram for good. I tapered my dosage based on what my doctor recommended. After 3 weeks of tapering I was finally free. One week later the dizziness started. I began to feel dizzy, as if I was rocking on a boat. Swaying, lightheaded, and felt like I was floating in the clouds. It totally sucked. I removed caffeine from my diet and all other foods (sometimes alcohol makes it better, sometimes worse) that triggered the dizziness. I noticed the dizziness was more severe after I ate. As weeks went on, I started to slowly feel better. The dizziness became less and less intense and I was starting to feel like myself again. I thought I was turning the corner! Last weekend I went to NYC and it all came back again. I came home from my trip dizzy as ever and full of anxiety. I started thinking crazy thoughts that I don't normally think about. I feel worse than I did when this originally started. I don't know why this just won't go away. I just want this to end. I want my normal life back. I joined the forum to see if anyone else can relate to this. I feel so lost and anyone I tell thinks I'm nuts or tells me to go to the Dr which has been worthless! I got blood work up and everything came back normal. It's been 8 weeks and I feel so lost and helpless. When will this go away? Can anyone relate? Thanks so much for reading this!
  14. I have switched from Wellbutrin 150 XL to 150 IR. I am now tapering from 75 mg at 9:00 am and 75 mg at 3:00 pm (more than one pharmacist said not to take Wellbutrin after 3:00 pm). I am experiencing disrupted sleep, which I expected, and nausea in the morning, which I did not. Thoughts?
  15. hello. first point to note: in 2001-2003 I was on effexor and weaning off that; counting beads, insomnia, paranoia, the shakes and brain zaps.... I still remember it all to this day. I swore I'd never go on an antidepressant again. wish I would have stuck to that. I'm a depressive personality to begin with, I'm hard on myself, a perfectionist. external life events get to me more than they should be allowed. I live in my head and it never sleeps. except when it's on an AD. well, even then I'm a mild version of myself (just dulled). So in May 2012, I began zoloft 1 month after the birth of my 2nd child. (my 1st was merely 19 months). a bit of it was baby blues/depression but the majority I believe was/is ocd. I had gotten it in my head I was in love with my ob doc (who had delivered both of my children and up until the day he delivered #2 I'd had none of these thoughts) and I was doing really stupid stuff (in addition to thinking about him all the time and dreaming of what I wished and hoped could be, I was driving past his house a few times a week, trying to learn which car was his in the doc parking lot - so I could leave an anonymous note on his car -I guess to satiate my desire but not really risk too much. but then I started thinking about doing things of risk (saying something at a next appointment, etc.) And that was enough, I needed to find a way to stop my brain. (there were a couple other things, family of origin issues and feeling overwhelmed with my almost 2 year old starting to need more consistent disciplining, etc.but those didn't... ?scare? me like the doc piece did. I couldn't stop my brain from ruminating on it all, so I did my research on Google like any normal person would- HA! and decided it was time to let some meds work on my brain. they worked. got off the doc crazy train (changed to a different ob in the office) and well, started living the somewhat dumbed down life of a person on ADs (and by that I mean, no emotion or thought or action or anything straying too far from the equilibrium line ADs create). obviously my person still had struggles over the last 3 years and life didn't magically become perfect but it was a bit more managable, I guess, or I just didn't care, maybe? I don't know. i tried to wean myself in the fall of 2013, unsuccessful due to withdraw symptoms being unbearable. talked with my (new) ob near the end of 2014 about weaning and agreed I should try again after winter blues were no longer a concern. why did I want to wean? 30 pounds!!! feeling like I should/could/wanted to handle life without this mind altering drug. a very hard thing for someone with ocd (I'm merely self diagnosed-never been treated for this by any means) to not be clear on "is this me or the drug thinking/feeling/saying this? " just want to be free of that barrier. let alone it just doesn't seem like being on a very effective drug like that can be great for organs/body/health in the long run. damn the fact that it does help to a degree. So, Feb. 2015 i went from 100mg a day down to 50mg a day. stayed there until March 25, then cut down to 25mg a day until May 7th - last pill!!!! I realize I could have cut 25mg in half or shaved.... but it got to a point where I just wanted to be done. bring on the withdraw let's face it and fight it and be done. I'm 3 weeks, 3 days with zoloft. 1 week out was horrible. paranoia, vertigo, brain zaps, confusion, insomnia, impatient, short fuse, the list goes on. 2 weeks out a smidge better but all the symptoms still there. 3 weeks out and I do believe those symptoms I listed are alleviating - not gone by any means but the brain zaps don't stop me in my tracks now (and it occurs to me as I write this, maybe I'm just getting use to them, not that they are getting better?!?! no, I really think they are happening less and not as powerful). I think I can feel the light at the end of the tunnel... with those symptoms. however, the symptoms that have bothered me the most since 3 days post last pill are my rage and anger. I have practically no patience, super short fuse, and have yelled/talked from a place of anger more in the last 21 days than quite possibly the last 3 years. my babies are 3 and almost 5 and I hate the mother they have right now, she is not what they were living with - I wasn't the picture of patience and all things happy on ADs but it definitely took my edge off. so I just keep wondering, is this just a withdrawal symptom that will level off over time (if I'm not just creating horrible habits that will also need to be broken)... or is this ME. the me my family gets if I choose to refuse ADs? is it unrealistic to think my person can live a somewhat normal life without ADs? I've cried more in the last 3 weeks then I have in 3 years (just as I'm crying over things that don't really deserve tears now, there were definitely times tears should have been shed over those 3 years that I just didn't FEEL it. I've joined a gym determined to get some semblance of my figure back. and I love knowing a drug isn't rushing though my body/brain anymore. however, yelling/raging at my children, damaging my marriage and returning to a bit more serious ocd tendancies (finding it hard to eat off of metal utensils, paranoid of allergens/spores/the smell of outside, turning away from God and obsessing about overhauling my life - making drastic changes, moving far away, divorce, cutting out family who've continually hurt me, etc.) NONE of this is new since quiting zoloft, just while on zoloft I would think it briefly, not really feel much from my thought and let it go, until it pooped up again and repeat cycle. so does that mean zoloft living is better or I was in a muted state and not living!?!? lastly, I'm in touch with a counselor (employee assistance program)and I'll get 5 sessions, after that I can't afford counseling. but I have years of out patient, self-initiated counseling under my belt and am not confident 5 sessions will really help me determine what I need to know... is it just not possible for me to live comfortably and happily without ADs? so I have to resign to using when I then have to question based on everything I've just written above, what IS real? me on ADs,or everything I think, feel or want not on ADs?! thoughts?
  16. I have been off of lexapro for 2 years after being on it for 20 12 years. The withdrawals were horrific! Jello legs, migraine every day, rage, anger, insomnia, body pains. I was still on wellbutrin but waited to taper off of it until the lexapro withdrawals were tolerable. I have tapered completely off of the wellbutrin from a 450 mg dose and it took about 6 months. I had to rush the tapering process because the manufacturer quit making the brand name in my milligram strength and the generic put me into immediate withdrawal. There IS a difference between generic and name brand. I thought I had made it through all withdrawals. For the past month, I have been experiencing insomnia, severe anxiety, rage, anger and headaches. My husband made me go to the doctor yesterday and the doc has prescribed prozac, 10 mg. to be increased to 40 mg. a little later on. I do not want this at all, but my anxiety is through the roof. I am non-functional. My question is this: Is it possible to experience lexapro withdrawals after being off of it for 2 years or could it be from being off of the wellbutrin for 6 months, or both? I thought I was better, but I don't know if I'm experience a relapse in anxiety or post withdrawals. Thoughts? Thank you so much! JackieLouBlue
  17. I was put on Wellbutrin generic, which I didn't think was doing anything. I take Ativan too, which is helping a lot. I gradually realized that he waking up earlier and earlier came on gradually. I read some stuff and thought lack of seratonin was my prob. Not! I took a small dose this morning and came down with every side effect (almost) that Wellbutrin causes. Then I realized that the Wellbutrin Was causing sweats and trembling and all the other stuff. I took Prozac for years but then it stopped working. Took trawhatsisab which worked well for a couple years and doc did not tell me I should taper. That was a horrible experience, especially since I didn't realize what was going on. Did it for myself on the Internet while feeling awful. I'm interested in supplements but no doc m knows anything about them. I have diabetes and take met for metformin and Victosa, and when they don't work, cinnamon and fenugreek. And some other stuff. This can take my blood sugar down a hundred points or more. It's always too high. I had anxiety attacks even as a little kid, which I hid. Right not I have nothing objectively real to be anxious about. Have 2 lovely kids, a hub whow loves me after 50 years, plenty of moneY and a paid for house. My job was nerve wracking, but now I'm retired. Why is everyone such a mess? Even our financial adviser confessed he had taken Prozac for many years and not it wasn't working. Thanks for being here.
  18. Hey folks, I'm looking for help in getting rid of one or both my AD prescriptions as well as the I-know-it's-bad over drinking. I think I need to ramp down drinking first because I REALLY don't want to continue like this, but I'm worried about the side effects that I've had already. Effexor 125X3 Wellbutrin 150 wine 1.5 litres/day
  19. I am new here and writing at this time on behalf of my son (53) who is in the very beginning stages of AD discontinuation. Diagnosis: Major Clinical Depression. He has been on numerous ADs in the past 10-15 years, but these last 6+ months it is 120 mg Cymbalta, 600 mg Lithium, 300 mg Wellbutrin. He also is on other meds for diabetes, hi blood pressure and cholesterol, feels like a walking pharmacy, and desperately wants to come of the ADs. He has been feeling absolutely terrible for a long time, and there have been many times when I feared for his life (has made an attempt before). The last psychiatrist simply pileed one med upon another whenever my son reports all the symptoms he is experiencing (hi anxiety, panic attacks, terrible fear, relentless depression, night sweats, brain zaps, etc.). He has been with the same CBT therapist for 10 years, and is currently also attending a NAMI support group. I also have told him about this site and hope that in time he will join himself (he isn’t much of a writer but otherwise very articulate about what he is feeling). After a long and arduous search I found a holistic clinic where he is currently receiving acupuncture, massage, chiropractic manipulations, nutrition and, most importantly, is seen by an M.D. who is managing the AD discontinuation, starting with Cymbalta in 20 mg slow increments (unfortunately, there is no 10 mg capsule). He was told by his pharmacist (confirmed by the M.D.) that if one opens the capsules (Cymbalta) then the formulation is destroyed and the med releases in different parts of the body incorrectly. This can be dangerous and can cause mood swings, which he has been experiencing. There is no way of knowing how successful the work at the clinic will be. Having gone this route myself, I know how slow and excruciating it is. BTW, MCD seems to be generational and runs in my family which, of course, had remained unrecognized until my adult life. Needless to say, he gets very discouraged. Amazingly, though, he is still able to soldier to work every day (as a digital matte painter at a major film studio) where he apreciates the “normalcy” of the day’s structure and interaction with colleagues. However, he is terrified of losing the job and never finding another. He is in an extremely vulnerable state, cries easily, gets terribly frustrated and hits himself. I guess this is a state that has been called neuro-emotions? I have yet to find any useful information about what would minimize these terrifying withdrawal effects. Cymbalta only being one (and possibly the worst), followed later by Lithium and Wellbutrin. Nevertheless, this website is very helpful and I thank the operators for keeping it going. Lastly, I apologize for this rambling post…..
  20. A new member here, looking for some advice Two questions first, following my story (sorry, a bit long) 1) How to quit Wellbutrin XR 150mg safely, when IR or SR versions are not available? I have read the thread on tapering off, but I live in a country where the IR or SR versions are not sold, only 150mg and 300mg XR. I have now been on Wellbutrin for 6 weeks, when I was diagnosed with severe post-partum depression. 2) I've also on 100mg Ketipinor and 7,5-15mg Zimovane (I seem to be needing 15mg lately most nights) for the past 6 weeks. Which would be the best order of trying to get off the meds? So, I have an almost 6-month-old daughter, who decided to wean herself from breastfeeding at 2,5 months (early July 2016). After that I still continued to pump for another 4 weeks , after which Idecided enough was enough; I was pumping 4-5 times a day, which was exhausting. Around the same time as the breastfeeding ended I started having trouble sleeping. Even when the baby slept (and she's a great sleeper, thank goodness!) I could not. When I quit pumping, it got even worse. I was not really sleeping, and I was with the baby all day, and my mood really started to sink. A bit more than 6 weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist. I had already self-diagnosed the PPD (all the symptoms matched; I was crying, having negative thoughts about being a mom, having disturbing thoughts, borderline suicidal). After chatting for 45 minutes (I'd never seen the doctor before), she wanted to put me on a small dose of Lexapro, I think it was 5mg. I have previously been on Lexapro and other SSRIs for years (~20) on and off. I quit Lexapro in Januart while pregnant, but I had started to taper off 1,5 years before, small steps at a time, coming from 20mg to 2,5mg before quitting altogether. However, this time I got horrible symptoms almost immediately after starting Lexapro. I didn't sleep for ~72 hours, my anxiety was through the roof, I could not stay still. My husband took me to the ER after the third sleepless night, and I was hospitalized for two weeks. The hospital psychiatrista immediately took me off Lexapro, and started me on Wellbutrin, as well as the rest of the meds (Seroquel every night, and Zimovane as needed). I was not in the mental capacity to really question any of these decisions, and (as typical of psychiatrists, I've found), they don't really seem to care too much - one drug doesn't work, let's just try the next one. No matter that Wellbutrin is basically a stimulant, and one of my most pronounced symptoms was insomnia! Fast forward 6 weeks, I'm still on all of those meds. I haven't slept one night without the Zimovane, and of course I've had to up the dosage. Obvioisly, the sleep has helped tremendously (and I'm also getting more help with the baby), but it feels like absolute craziness to take stimulants in the morning and then sedatives in the evening. Some mornings I feel completly groggy, to the point of being unable to care for the baby. And even though I stay asleep for hours, the quality of the sleep is poor. I've done a lot of reading lately, and I've come to the conclusion that while antidepressants can be necessary and helpuf in acute stages of severe depression, in long-term use they are not only ineffective, but downright harmful. That's why I do not want to stay on the meds any longer than I absolutely have to. Ask a doctor, however, and they *never* recommed coming off them, ever. Worse, they want to up the dose, or just get you to try yet another one. Now, I know that most of the studies indicating that antidepressants are ineffective in the long run have been done on SSRIs, and Wellbutrin isn't an SSRI. Nevertheless, it just messes with different neurotransmitters. I'm also pretty sure that my insomnia was/is hormonal, caused by the end of breastfeeding, which then lead to depression. Granted, I've was struggling even before that with the fact that my whole has been turned upside-down by the birth of my daughter. Anyways, I'd love any input, especially concerning the order of quitting the meds, and the mechanics of quitting Wellbutrin. If anyone here has suffered from PPD, I'd really like to hear from you
  21. graceless

    Graceless

    Greetings all, I'm happy to have stumbled across this website. There's a lot of true knowledge here. To be honest lots of the information on here is really hard for me to hear ... I'd like to think that getting off meds might entail a few rough weeks or even months ... but from my own recent experience (and reading through some of the forums here) I can tell that it's going to be a much longer road to true health. 13 years ago I started graduate school and within a few months of arrival was started on an SSRI for anxiety and depressive symptoms. At first I was ecstatic! I thought the drugs were the solution to my emotional pain, introversion, loneliness, and lack of belonging. I have to say they did allow me to be more functional. I was able to complete graduate school and work at a very demanding/stressful job for a few years, and a lot of that might not have been possible without the SSRI. But of course, the dark-side of the meds caught-up with me. In retrospect I wish I'd never started an SSRI. What it allowed me to achieve was not worth what it cost me. On an SSRI I gained weight, experienced sexual side effects, and developed digestive issues (constipation, SIBO). But actually the worst effects of all have been on my personality and personal relationships. Instead of allowing me to flourish personally, these drugs only worsened my isolation and loneliness. For the 12 years that I took an SSRI I was not my authentic self. I was restless, agitated, disconnected from myself and my feelings, could not feel empathy, could not experience love. I was better at superficial interactions with others but true connections became so much harder to make. I distanced myself from my parents and old friends. I became a lonely zombie. On the bright side, I'm on the slow painful road back to my authentic self. In the last few weeks there've been glimpses of hope. I've had moments of clarity. There've been some moments of empathy and closeness with my parents and with old friends who I've been trying to reconnect with. It's amazing to me that these aspects of my personality are still buried deep inside me! I haven't lost them completely. I'm here looking for support. I really identify with the windows/waves model of post-acute withdrawal symptoms. It's so hard to accept how fragile I am right now. Push myself too hard exercising ... and I'm in bed for 36 hours feeling hopeless and beyond exhausted. Indulge too much in food or alcohol and I spiral into despair for a week's time. I'm just trying to take one day at-a-time. I'm not working right now and I'm staying in my parents spare bedroom as I try to put my life back together. Thanks for listening ....
  22. Hello- as my topic title shows, I have been on anti-depressants for 24 years (20mgs Lexepro, 175 mgs Wellbutrin). It is hard to face. After the birth of my first son, I began having acute anxiety. When I told my gynecologist he told me it was common after giving birth because of hormonal changes. In such cases, he recommends about six months of medication to help with the symptoms and recommended a psychiatrist that he works with for patients such as me. I'm sure none of you are surprised to know that, as is all too common, I never got off the drugs for very long. Each time withdrawel symptoms were interpreted as my illness returning. My mother suffered from anxiety and depression all her sad life, so it wasn't hard to believe that I was ill. Yet, I still tried a few times to stop the drugs. Interestingly, once it became clear how difficult it was to get off the drugs, I knew with certainty that I needed to stop taking them. I Thought I would put if off until I was retired, so I would have less stress, etc. to deal with the WD, but when I learned about the10% taper it gave me hope that I can be AD free by my 60th birthday! I will start with the Lexepro. Getting myself a scale and using a spreadsheet to calculate the decreases. I'm getting my yoga and walking on, and continuing meditation for success! I'm so glad to have this site for reference, information and support!
  23. Hi everyone... I'm on Welbutrin & my doc wants to switch me to Paxil. He told me Thursday to "just stop taking the Welbutrin" (while starting the Paxil). I thought that was a bad idea, but maybe the Paxil would compensate, and he's supposed to know what he's doing, right? Gah! I was right. It's not a good idea to stop suddenly. After a pretty miserable day Friday, I came home from work, took a dose of Welbutrin, and started searching for some solid advice (preferably backed by good sources such as PubMed, or reputable colleges), which is how I stumbled across this site. So I'm working on tapering off, will probably stop the Paxil, and am seriously thinking about dumping that doctor. It's not an uncommon thing to have problems coming off antidepressants, and there are published studies from 10+ years ago talking about it, so how could he not know? And if he did, why did he give me the direction he did, why give me harmful advice? Problem is, I can't switch doctors until mid-summer, because that's when their semester ends. (I go to a free clinic through the local medical college, their psych training program.) Also, while I generally do OK over the summer, I definitely have SAD, so dread facing fall & winter without medicine.
  24. Tanpoponoko

    Tanpoponoko: Wellbutrin

    Hello! I am in a bit of sticky situation and I need advice on how to taper off safely. So I recently moved to Japan to work as an English teacher. I've been on Wellbutrin XL 150mg for about 3 years now, and it works great for me. I was assured that I could get more in Japan, but when I got here I learned that this was a mistake. I cannot get wellbutrin of any kind here at all. My only choice is to taper off and look for a doctor who can prescribe me another antidepressant that is available here, or somehow get it sent to me from America. I have about a 2 week supply left at this time. I have work at a demanding job starting on Monday. What is the best way to approach this?
  25. Hello, Thank you for this community. I have said goodbye to Cipralex and Wellbutrin. I know it was too fast and I choose to do it without medical supervision. I knew it was time. Now I am dealing with withdrawl symptoms that I pray don't get any worse. I have so many questions and I am thankful that I made my way here.
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