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  1. I am writing this as an addendum to My Story which details what ADs did to my life and discusses to a degree how I got my life back. However, I am writing this to elaborate on what certain problems where posed both physically and logistically after I stopped taking medications. Please keep in mind that I went COLD TURKEY and did not taper, which differentiates me from many people on here; also my story took place over 10 years ago, so my memory is not is 100% clear which means it is hard for me to apply a quantitative number to aspects of my physical recovery. In 2002 I quit cold turkey from a drug cocktail that included an Antidepressant (Celexa), an Antipsychotic (Zyprexa), an Anticonvulsant (Depakote), a Benzo (Ativan), a Z-Drug (Ambien) and a prescription diet pill (Phenteramine – given to me by my pdoc to lose the 60 pounds of weight I gained from the other weight gaining medications). The physical ramifications of quitting cold turkey where hard core, and lasted to the best of my recollection in hard core form for six months. These were: insomnia, exhaustion, akathesia, flu-like symptoms, headaches, nausea and vomiting, total loss of appetite and over-sensitivity to certain substances. There were also mental symptoms: overwhelming memories, mania, depression, over-emotional reactions to certain situations (e.g. crying or extreme anger) and PTSD from the whole ordeal. It is important to note that many of these symptoms continued to linger in a much lesser form for several years. I know that many of you would like a firm number of how long I suffered, but I cannot put a number on it because I started my recovery in 2002 – 10 years ago. This is further complicated by the fact that to get through the exhaustion from WD, I smoked cigarettes anywhere from one to one and a half packs for many years after. Since smoking can mimic some of the symptoms of WD (loss of appetite, headaches, mania, anger) it is hard to delineate what was what. However, I do believe that smoking provided mental focus that I would not have had otherwise. I finally quit smoking in 2007, five years after stopping meds. It was an odd thing, I just stopped one day and no longer wanted to smoke anymore. Maybe this was a sign of my recovery, but it may also have been a reaction to the fact that because of NY laws and my husband, if I needed to smoke I had to go outside. Smoking outside in the rain or cold was getting stupid. I do believe that part of this was a sign of final recovery – I didn’t need to mask symptoms anymore. So if this is true, and I had to put a number on it – I would say I battled with minor symptoms and PTSD for five years So what problems was I left with after drugs had stolen my life? And how did I regain control? Here is a list: Weight Gain A ruined job history A ruined credit history from filing Chapter 7 Bankruptcy Over $20K in debt to the IRS plus two tax liens PTSD Estrangement from my family I was fully aware of the PTSD, and would think on occasion of reaching out to a therapist. However, because the whole ordeal left me extremely suspicious of the whole field of mental health, I declined to reach out to anyone. So based on this list, I will try to tackle how I recovered in each area: 1) Weight Gain: I lost my appetite during WD and I also became a huge walker. In one year I lost sixty pounds with little effort. I did eat, but I ate very small meals, 200 kcal 3-5 times a day, mostly high protein and I ate an apple a day and I drank a TON of herbal tea. 2) A ruined job history: I had been fired from three high paying jobs, all in IT. I had no references, a job gap of four years, but I had good computer and office skills so I reached out to temporary agencies. I worked as a temp for many years, in the NY/NJ area only taking jobs at Fortune 500 companies. I built up my resume this way. Today, I list those jobs as “contract” and I explain that I liked the flexibility of “contract work” and that I was in the process of getting married and building a home with my husband, no one questions it. 3) A ruined credit history: I got a copy of all three of my credit reports and joined a credit law forum. I found that there were many examples where creditors where breaking either or both the FCRA or FDCPA laws on my credit report. I also hired an attorney. The attorney got 50% of it cleared up, I got the other 50% cleared up myself by tenacious letter writing and disputing with the Credit Bureaus. The forum I used had a great database of creditors who gave people with Bankruptcy on their reports a card with a small credit line; I applied to all of these and rebuilt my credit this way. When I married my husband in 2005, he added me as an authorized user to his accounts, giving me a longer and stronger credit history. 4) Tax Debt and Liens: After hiding from the IRS for several years, I contacted them and got on an installment plan. Because I was not working at the time I called them, my payment amount was on $185 for $20K+ in debt. I paid it faithfully for years; in October 2011 I was paid in full. Because the IRS has a law that you cannot pay more than 25% in interest and penalties of the actual tax debt, a good $10K got knocked off the total bill. But I still had two tax liens on my credit report. I did some research and found out about a service called the Tax Advocate service which is run through the IRS. I contacted my local Tax Advocate. For the sake of brevity, I will not go into the details of how I argued my case to get two tax liens released, but I did and in 2005 poof they were gone from my life and my credit report. If anyone needs more info, I would be happy to answer questions later in this post. 5) PSTD: I just endured this, but chose to embrace anger over victimhood. I was one extremely angry person for many years and I ruminated and had nightmares for years. I often thought about writing the SHRINK who did this to me, but refrained. One thing that I learned from this whole ordeal was to trust in my instincts which was empowering and allowed me to pick and chose my relationships with people and situations that were good for me. I let go of many friends who were not healthy for me. 6) Estrangement from my family: In 2003 I was estranged from my entire family (father, mother and brother). Today I am by choice still estranged from by father and brother. This is because I realize it is futile to ever expect them to change and to stay in relationship with them will only hurt me. I have however, repaired my relationship with my mother. I am extremely happy to share that six months ago I convinced her to move from Illinois to New York and reclaim her life. She tapered off multiple pmeds herself around 2007 and was left with two medical conditions diabetes and downbeat nystagmus from taking lithium and depakote for many years. She lived alone, my brother who lived close by was not helping her, and she was not getting the proper medical attention so she agreed with me. Today she lives 2 miles away from me, we are extremely close and I have helped her get her life back. My husband and she adore each other. So that is how I put the pieces of my life back after being devastated by polypharmacy. And I joined this forum because I think it is important that people know that taking these medications can be extremely harmful on so many levels. I hope this information helps someone out there. Please feel free to post any questions you may have. I wish all of you the best and trust that if I could restore my life which was utterly devastated by psychiatry, you can too.
  2. After close to 18 months on Citalopram, I decided to wean off the medication in August as I ascribed a feeling of mental numbness to the drug. The first week off I felt fine. Weeks 2-4 were hellish as I experienced strange tingling sensations, insomnia, depersonalisation and extreme periods of agitation. However, after close to six weeks off the drug, I still don’t feel like myself. I’m apathetic. My concentration is non-existent despite taking medication for ADHD. My brain is extremely foggy, and I don’t feel connnected to myself or those around me. Whilst I didn’t quite adhere to my discontinuation plan and admittedly weaned off Citalopram far too quickly, I didn’t expect to feel so utterly lost in myself after almost six weeks off the med. My doctor is in the process of conferring with a psychologist with regards to taking a different medication for anxiety but I’m reluctant to go back on an SSRI. Unfortunately I don’t know if I’m still struggling with SSRI withdrawal syndrome or if it’s a resurfacing of depression and/or a high level of anxiety. I’d be interested to know if anyone else has experienced similar difficulties after discontinuing an anti-depressant and what helped you in your respective recoveries. Thanks.
  3. Hello, I've just joined the site because I need to know I'm not alone with these feelings. I've been on citalopram 10mg for six years and a couple of months ago decided to come off them because I didn't think they were doing anything and I realised they were numbing feelings. I know it's a low dose but I read that I need to taper off so I'm breaking the tablet and I have 5mg everyday. My GP says the dose is subtherapeutic. I am feeling very low, especially in the mornings. I feel so depressed and my confidence is low. I feel very angry and full of rage at times, work can be a nightmare. At times i drive along and think it would be good to crash the car and end it all. Happy people at work really irritate me. People that breeze along seemingly without a care in the world make me feel angry. I find it hard to sit in the staffroom, I just want to get away from everyone. I feel like no one understands, how can they as they haven't experienced it? I've read these feelings are neuro emotions but how can I be sure it's not just me slipping back into this functioning depression whereby I manage to go to work but feel like a shell inside. I'm also going through the menopause so what's me, what's the citalopram withdrawal and what's the menopause is really difficult to decipher. Thanks for reading.
  4. Hi There, To make a long story short, I tried to taper off my celexa. I was tapering 10% down of my original 20 mg dose, and tapered 10% every two weeks for two and a half months. Also the schedule my doctor put me on for tapering was quite erratic. So 10 mg a few days and then back to 20 mg other days. My tapering was never an exact amount each time I tapered down. Anyways, I felt good tapering down for two months and a half but then just 4 days ago the withdrawal hit me pretty good. Obviously the tapering was too fast. So almost as soon as my withdrawal started I took the original 20 mg dose, and I felt a bit better. The second day I took another 20 mg and felt even better. Now my question is, do I just keep going at 20 mg? or should I go to 15 mg (halfway point between 10 and 20 mg) because my system has been sensitized by the withdrawal? I have already been taking my original 20 mg the past two days and feel better, so I should I just stick with that? I want to find a dose I am comfortable with and just stick with it because I think I am confusing my brain a lot. I was supposed to take a pill last night but because I wasn't sure which dose, I haven't taken any citalopram yet, so hence the urgency of this message. Please let me know your opinions. Thank you
  5. ADMIN NOTE DJones's benzo thread Hi, I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself and ask for some advice I have been on various ssris for 11years and about 7 months ago I decided to wean myself off celexa which I had been on for the last 5 years at 40mg. I weaned of to fast over the course of about 3 months and was off for a total of 1 month when I crased hard with anxiety, fear and depression. I went back on 40mg of celexa after being off for a month but got panic attacks and weird sensations in head. After 2 weeks the doc than got me off that and put me on Paxil for 2 weeks which only made things worse with bad anxiety and feeling dissacated with everything and my cns was all messed up. They than put me on celexa at 20 mg and a low dose of remeron for 3 weeks but no relief and was getting electrical sensations and burning sensation in body. I than checked myself into the hospital where the cold turkeyed me off the celexa and put me on neurontin. I was off celexa again for a week but I gave up all other medications and put myself back on 5mg of celexa for the last 3 weeks and have also been on .05 a day of klonopin now for 2 months. My current symptoms are. Severe anxiety Inability to concentrate Muscle tension Akathesia Tremor Burning sensation in chest and pain from time to time Vision problems Brain fog Some anadonia Some nausea And sensitive to sounds and some foods and vitimins My questions is what do I do from here? Man this is no fun just looking for some words of encougement if nothing else.
  6. Hi everyone. I'm Liz and I need some counsel. First things first: I'm not a native english speaker, I'm german. So please excuse my poor language and mistakes, I'll try to express myself as clearly as I can. As you can see in my signature, I was put on Citalopram (it's Celexa in the US, right?) in 2007. I had developed quite a harsh anxiety disorder with massive panic attacks. At the point that I couldn't manage my everyday life anymore, I went to my GP and asked for help. He prescribed me 20mg Citalopram to "get back on track" and advised me to seek therapy, which I did immediately. While that therapy person wasn't the real deal, the pills worked well for a while. A year later I tried to quit them, but felt miserable. I went cold turkey because I didn't know any better. My GP sent me to a psychiatrist who put me on 30mg. This also worked for a while. Another year or so later (you can see a timeline in my signature) I tried to quit again. My psychiatrist told me to taper over the course of few weeks. It was basically another cold turkey, it failed, and I tried again and again. By the end of 2012 I managed to be completely off pills for 6 months, but then things got so bad that I went back on 20mg. As many of you may have experienced, my doctor told me I would need the meds and could take them forever and that there was no such thing as withdrawal. I changed the psychiatrist, but the second one told me the same. My GP told me the same. They basically labeled my withdrawal symptoms as hysterical. They all advised to stay on the meds. Which I did not want, because I missed my "human-ness" so much. Then I got pregnant, landed stable on 10mg somehow and stayed on that dose, it was the best I could. I'm really lucky my kid has not shown any signs of harm after her birth. She's developing perfectly normal, but I'm still feeling guilty because I couldn't fully quit the meds. I've been stable on 10mg for a long while, but as time went on, I desperately wanted to feel the "real me" again and began researching the topic of tapering and withdrawal. Turns out, withdrawal exists. For real. That gave me new hope. So. In the least years I've been tapering very slowly from 10mg. Things got bad from 7mg on, there was a full year of horrendous depression and anxiety and sheer terror. It took me another year to recover from this. Now I'm at 5.75mg, and I can't seem to go further. I tried a single reduction of 1% in May, some kind of microtapering plans in mind, and 3 weeks later I wanted to die. I reinstated and stabilized. Three weeks ago I dropped the dose about 0.5% and expected things to go mellow. Tiny dose, right? They didn't. I don't exactly want to die now, but 2 weeks after the reduction I developed severe anxiety with bizarre thoughts, vertigo, nausea and most of the other stuff I know so well. I reinstated two days ago and the bizzare thoughts are gone today, the nausea also. I really don't know what to do. With reductions of 0.5% every few months (because I can't bear it more often), I would not be able to come off meds in this lifetime. I'm 40 years old. Is this real? Is there a chance I'm really this sensitive? Or am I making things up in my mind? Is someone else here who can't do the tiniest of drops? And is there any way out of this hypersensitivity? It feels like symptoms are getting worse with every failed reduction. The citalopram itself doesn't exactly bother me at the given dose. I tolerate it quite well, I guess. Feeling no side effects (or I might be so used to them I can't feel them anyway). So, what's a girl gonna do when nothing works? (Short background info: I'm the main provider in my family and we have a toddler. My job is about creative thinking. So I have to function as a employee and a mum to some degree and I need a relatively clear mind to do my job. That's why I tried these tiny reductions, and of course because I don't want wanting to die, obviously). Thanks heaps for reading this. All the best Liz
  7. Hi all, I'm new here and would like to thank everyone for sharing their experience and helping others. I wish every one of you success on your path to recovery! My story and symptoms: 2 years ago I tapered off citalopram/escitalopram, because after 6 years taking it I built tolerance to it, as well as some unbearable sinusitis-like side effects. I was prescribed this drug for GAD treatment (for details see my signature below) During the 5th year on citalopram I started to feel its antidepressant effects slowly vanish, and I also noticed I couldn't handle much stress anymore. Actually, my working name for this problem is "impatient stress" and it's one of the most unpleasant symptoms. I would describe the feeling as a mix of impatience and stress without any apparent stressor. I rush to finish whatever I'm doing, but my muscles are clenching and I'm feeling strong physical and emotional unease, sometimes to the extent it feels I'm going to faint or have a heart attack. Kind of stress over-reaction to even simple tasks like chores. My body and mind force me to stop, although there is no apparent stressor. 2 years after getting off meds, this poor stress tolerance doesn't seem to get better, in fact it seems to be worse these days. I try to help my body deal with this artificial stress by supplementing vitamin C and magnesium, but it doesn't seem to have much effect (although it probably does help a bit) Somehow related to this is perhaps my extreme sensitivity to stimulants (tea, coffee, even chocolate). Even small doses make me agitated and anxious next day. At the moment I seem to be even more sensitive than I was a few months after withdrawal. Maybe it's because now I tend to really avoid stimulants as much as I can, which is probably making me more sensitive to them... But is my body going to readjust if I never expose it to such substances? Or is it better to avoid all stimulants and wait if my brain heals from hypersensitivity over time? What's your experience? For example, last week I tried two adaptogenic herbs (ashwagandha, rhodiola) for just a few days, in very small doses. Although I only ingested one capsule of rhodiola (which is 1/2 of recommended daily dose) it made me feel like a new person for two days in row! I felt great and focused. The next morning I had an erotic dream (which I normally don't have) and just when the dream got too exciting, I woke up with a terrible spike of agitation, which pretty much resembled the stressed-out feeling, but much more intense and terrifying. It only lasted a second, but it felt like I was losing my mind, as if I'm going to faint or vomit. Extremely unpleasant feeling. (It wasn't a panic attack though, these are completely different. I'm also familiar with these morning cortisol surges, but this was more like a momentary shock.) I could feel my heart beating strong. I never experienced such a strange shock and I was quite scared. Perhaps the single small capsule of Rhodiola (which apparently is a MAOI) messed up neurotransmitter levels too much? I would love to know what's your experience with hypersensitivity to stimulants following SSRI withdrawal. Did stimulants also trigger anxiety for you? Did you register any change over time? For the last 4 months I seem to be having some kind of anxiety episode triggered by emotional stress and accidental ingestion of green tea. The anxiety is getting worse every day, my sleep is getting shorter and shorter, giving rise to more anxiety. Is there a way to escape this vicious circle? Sometimes I have pinkeye. Not sure if it's something to worry about, I guess it's linked to sleep problems. There's also this sharp "pulling" sensation which I get from time to time in my hands or legs. Feels like if my veins were being pulled into body, shortened. Anyone experienced this? Just recently I started to have occasional chin twitches, although very subtle, hardly noticeable. I hope they'll go away once I manage the anxiety and bodily tension. And the last problem is lower back pain which I have ever since I discontinued SSRI, which makes me think that the physical damage to my back was done probably much earlier, but the pain has been temporarily suppressed by SSRI. Is it possible? Or maybe my lower back isn't damaged that much, but the elevated stress hormones intensify pain signalling in the body. I came to this hypothesis because last week, when I was in better mood for two days, the back pain almost vanished. I've practiced daily meditation for 2 years since withdrawal, I underwent 6 week CBT course, tried fasting, self-help books, supplements, etc. Meditation and CBT provided some help and I'll definitely keep using them. But still... these days I feel so anxious, sensitive, unstable... scared. Since I cannot handle any work load, I had to leave my job. I moved to my family's house, and recently I applied for disability pension (I hope I'll need it just for a few years). Everything has turned upside down for me. I feel I'm doomed to suffer for the rest of my life. I'm worried every day that the taper was too fast (I was so stupid to rush it), and I'm afraid my brain will never recover from the dependency on SSRIs, which terrifies me so much! Can you please help? Any ideas what might be happening with me in regards to the poor stress tolerance? What is actually going on there? Your experiences regarding any of these symptoms will be much appreciated! Do you think the damage is permanent? It's been 2 years now. Thank you! PS: As I'm rereading this post, it all seems so negative... But there are positives also - I'm no longer depressed these days. The depression transformed into anxiety 4 months ago, and although that's not necessarily a great thing one would desire, at least I know something is going on and I can feel motivated again.
  8. Hi all, I felt depressed around beginning of April realised something was wrong. I have depression and OCD. I went to my doctors and they put me on citalopram which i was on about a year and a half ago took ages to work then then finally did and I was better again also with talk plus counselling. I was on citalopram for 2 weeks last month and it didn't agree with me I was so sick so I changed to sertraline for 2 - 3 weeks and it still made me ill and my ocd worse.With my doctors advice she signed me off for a week and I came off them completely. I went back for a follow up appointment Monday I'm off them completely. However, I still feel numb and disconnected like I can't feel anything even though I know the love and happiness and support is there but I feel like I'm on the outside of my life looking in and my OCD is going in to over drive because I'm worried about it. I'm still doing talk plus counselling. I just want to know had anyone experienced this and how long does it take to get your emotions back? If anyone has any advice please let me know, Jen
  9. Hi everyone, thank you so much for reading this! Ive had a really bad two years. I will give a bit of history. I am 29 now. From 16-21 I was on 20 or 40 mg celexa. I honestly can not remember. For extreme anxiety. It honestly helped me so much. I quit it cold turkey and dont remember having many symptoms. Ive always struggled with anxiety though. Fast forward to 2014. I had my first and only child. Right after i had her I knew something was wrong. I didnt sleep for 5 days straight, heart racing, high BP etc. My dr put me back on 20 mg of celexa. I went to my pcp and he tested my thyroid. I was hyperthyroid with hot nodules. Come to find in March of 2016 that I also have Hashimotos Thyroiditis . I am not on any thyroid replacement atm. My levels are pretty optimal even though my free t3 goes down a little lower than Id like sometime. I am VERY knowledgeable about this and now work with a naturopath who is also knowledgable on optimal vs in range and such. I was on Celexa 20mg again from September 2014 until the mid end of February 2016. This time I tapered slowly over a few months. So also in March of 2016 , (mid march) I woke up with severe vertigo. Diagnosed with BPPV which I believe, because the vertigo spins only ever happens when I lay back and look to the right. Thats literally the only thing that triggers it. Epley manuever takes away the vertigo, and I am left with off balance general dizziness for two weeks. But from march until June I was VERY DIZZY. I was dizzy pretty much the entire time, with severely congested ears. VERY annoying. I saw a specialist ENT, and my pcp who both said allergies and I tried flonase for three months and it did nothing to help. I also had trouble breathing , like chest felt heavy, and heart would race just standing up. My bp would also go way low for me, like 96/60 sometimes or stay around 100/65 . Doctors couldnt really tell me much. In June- August it pretty much went away with a few periods of dizziness. Now from October until now I am hit again really hard with a new kind of dizziness. I feel in motion when I am still. Like laying back or sitting still I feel like I am on a boat, or on a pool raft swaying on the waves. It is maddening!!!!!! My ears are also still congested. Saw specialist again, who ruled out Menieres disease and other stuff, and both specilaist and pcp say allergic rhinitis. Im on Astelin spray which helps lessen it for sure, but its still there. I also am having the weird breathing issues again, where the littlest things make me feel like I ran a mile. I hate this so much. I am going to have my home tested for mold in a few days, because I just dont know what the heck is going on. My husband frequents this forum and he is telling me that this could all be from my celexa. I just have a hard time believing I could be suffering from it the way that I am, this long out? I haven't read much on here yet because I have really bad anxiety, but I was just wondering if this sounds like it could be from celexa, or if it really does sound like allergies, or basically any advice. I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. Thank you so much.
  10. Hi everyone, i have sailed on over from PP. Can anyone tell me what happened to the forum? Im happy to be here but curiosity is still getting me. I'll share a bit about myself. I was on various SSRIs for 10 years, mainly celexa, and finally tapered free Jan 2014 after a two year taper. Years before the taper i would switch meds hoping it would stave off the weight gain. Little did i know that i was in constant start up effects and withdrawal. Life seemed to have stopped at that point which is maybe 6 years ago. During this period i looked high and low for answers to why i was feeling so sick and bedbound/agoraphobic. I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. I do believe that withdrawal was the culprit for my symptoms and not lyme. Lyme may play a factor but i doubt it has the horrendous effects as discontinuation syndrome. A month after my taper ended, I took two months worth of benzos due to life events and had no idea that would start a new nightmare. I am now off that for 9 months and still recovering. Benzo withdrawal was a whole new monster. I look forward to my stay here and wish everyone the best of luck!!
  11. Interesting article written by Deborah Orr on her first introduction to Citalopram. She appears to have a possible adverse reaction to her initial dose of Citalopram. Refuted by many in the comments box who have had positive experiences with ssri's and who have really bought into the pervasive pharma position . Of interest, is the ensuing dialogue it prompts, in a discussion in the comments, by a poster claiming to be a doctor, calling himself "scubadoc'. Scubadoc is interesting, he seems to oscillate his position. I got as far as his comments in relation to 'SubjectiveSubject's experience of withdrawal, in which he appears discounts and questions the validity of the poster's experience based on his mental health. This appears at the end of some of the comments I've cut and pasted. These are edited from the comment boards, so reading them gives you more context. Still, I find it fascinating to observe the way it plays out as a sort of mirroring of what many experience playing out in their own visits to GPs and psychiatrists. ARTICLE https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/jul/08/antidepressant-effects-psychotherapy-mental-health-crisis-nhs COMMENTS FROM THE ARTICLE scubadoc BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:28 8081 It's all a bit strange: I, for instance, prescribe some antidepressants as pain-killers and actually talk to my patients about them. We have written a leaflet that adds to the package insert. We see quote a lot of PTSD, and anxiety is a common feature. Dissociation is a feature of the illness, rather than of the medication, but one well-known feature of treatment is a temporary increase in some features of the illness. There is the risk of suicide, particularly in young people, for instance. It's important and it's brave to discuss mental health, but it's also important to get the medicine right, or it risks degenerating into simple scare-mongering... streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 9:28 89 Listen to this Deborah Orr : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrMPr78UpQI Then study prolonged QT interval re Citalopram, you will notice it's dose dependent, well there is no such thing as dose dependent in the context that we all have different Cytochrome P450 liver enzyme systems. You will only ascertain what the phenotype of your liver enzyme system is if you have a pharmacogenetics tes,t good luck with finding one in the UK. Also if you happen to consume one of the common food stuffs/herbs/spices that block/inhibit CYP450, you can expect to go into Akathisia, trust me, you WILL know the meaning of hell if that happens to you. Share Facebook Twitter Report PolleeD streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 9:46 1213 I had a cardiac reaction (short pauses, bradycardia) when I stopped taking Escitalopram (same drug essentially). I was withdrawn far too quickly (over 2 weeks after 4 yrs use). The withdrawal upset my autonomic nervous system which controls heartbeat. I ended up with a pacemaker as my ANS/ pulse would not settle back into a normal rhythm. Since then it's been determined that my sinus node doesn't work properly any more. Was this long term use of the drug at a dose of 10mg or a withdrawal reaction which was treated with a pacemaker and misunderstood? More research is needed into the cardiac effects of these drugs. Share Facebook Twitter Report streetphotobeing PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 10:24 01 Did you make a serious compliant or sue ? Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 11:08 1819 Listen to this, streetphotobeing: a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, particularly if you don't understand it. Yes, cytochrome expression is polymorphic. Yes, drug metabolism is affected by the cytochromes that you happen to have. Yes, a small number of people are more sensitive to adverse effects. The answer? Stop the pill that's the problem! Simples... ... yes, I do warn my patients about problems and, yes, I do start medicines at low doses. doses. Share Facebook Twitter Report Loading… scubadoc PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 11:10 78 The drug triggered the problem, but the problem was your heart: otherwise, the abnormal rhythm would not have persisted. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc streetphotobeing 8 Jul 2017 11:14 67 I'd ask an expert, streetphotobeing, before engaging in litigation. Yes, we recommend reducing the dose of SSRIs over two months after long-term use, but the likelihood of a pre-existing heart problem would be like catnip to a lawyer... Share Facebook Twitter Report streetphotobeing scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:20 45 ah yes, I remember you, the doctor who didn't know that akathisia is not just a movement disorder. vivify 8 Jul 2017 9:29 3536 I think there will be many many comments here with similar poor experiences. I am British but live in Austria. The reality is that most countries' mental health systems are in the same poor shape. After suffering from a few years of crippling depression that had become dangerously total I just walked in, totally broken, to the first point of help, a GP. Five minutes later I had walked out with a prescription. The sertraline gave me panic attacks and mania, feelings I had never experienced. The trazadone gave me crippling anxiety and left me with permanent cognitive loss that I'm still dealing with two years later. These drugs are so hit and miss, so random, yet are handed out without any thoughts, warnings, considerations. For some they may save lives, for for others they wreck them, or finish off an already destroyed one. That the first line of defence is not psychotherapy but medication speaks volumes of a part of the health service that needs massive funding increases to move forwards, to re-assess completely how things are done and abandon this insane model we have, and that no politician or the electorate has really cared about mental health provision, ever. Although, maybe, slowly that is changing now. Too slowly. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc vivify 8 Jul 2017 11:18 3839 If you have severe depression, biological treatment works faster than talking therapies. A proper health service would offer both... ... but we don't treat mental health like a "real" illness antineoliberal 8 Jul 2017 9:34 45 Awful drugs till your system accepts them , get off them isn't pleasant either . And as for Tramodol , that drug is highly addictive and prescribed like they are handing out sweets . Lot more could be done with some of these prescribed drugs , awful side affects . Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc antineoliberal 8 Jul 2017 11:22 1617 Tramadol is moderately addictive, often unpleasant, and over-prescribed. It is also, sometimes, the difference between despairing disability and a normal life. Medicine is like that: tricky... mediaboy Pandamonium1 8 Jul 2017 9:48 3536 Another misinformed post. Leave it out if you know bugger all. You may as well be saying peanuts are harmless. I'm not saying people are allergic to SSRIs but messing with Serotonin has profound effects on some people or we wouldn't be reading this article. Have some common sense. If you take a pill that alters your SSRI balance, it begins straight away however small. If someone is at a tipping point it doesn't take much to have a dramatic effect on your state of mind. I know from experience, so don't spread false information. I know from experience, so don't spread false information. Share Facebook Twitter Report Pandamonium1 mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 9:54 1920 I also know from experience of being on it for 2 years so don't spout rubbish. Share Facebook Twitter Report mediaboy Pandamonium1 8 Jul 2017 10:02 3233 Ok. But that doesn't mean everyone reacts the same. You find it works and I'm glad. Don't say it can't do things in this article. You may well not have the effects described by the author, or by other posters, but everyone is different. Don't discount other peoples' experiences just because they don't reflect your own. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 11:23 1011 Another misinformed post... ... ad nauseam. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc ID0570124 8 Jul 2017 11:25 1112 mediaboy implies the drugs are bad. It's not true: the drugs are bad for some people. That's a very different thing... ... as reflected in the comments. PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 9:40 12 One mistake you're making is assuming a GP will even know, in any useful way, about the effects a drug will have (have they taken it themselves? of course not, so how could they really know). Another mistake is thinking the GP thinks you are worth consulting about any of this. They often simply play God with our lives. (disclaimer; some GPs are obviously brilliant yada yada, still doesn't mean they aren't affected by the zeitgeist, or even the latest salesman, when prescribing). Different drugs do different things to different people but I've heard many a nightmare from Citalopram. And if you think that's bad wait until your GP decides they'll try you on Mirtazapine. And by the time you're some way down the line you'll think that popping pills is a hell of a lot of it, as opposed to there being "very, very much more to it" as your addiction replaces your mental health as your major nightmare. SSRIs? Just say no. Or even just say know. Don't get me started on Seroxat. Don't get yourself started on any of them. Share Facebook Twitter Report floripakid1 PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 10:03 1314 nnn Silly, ignorant comment on many levels. 1. So, don't take any medication that your GP hasn't tried first? 2. GPs often spend as much time as they can on a consultation, but they are limited by the NHS appointment system, plus they are general practioners, not specialists. 3. Many GPS resist the "incentives" to prescribe certain meds (many do not) and genuinely try to give the patient what they think will actually help the patient. 4. "Just say no". Who tf are you to assume you know about others' mental issues and whether mediction would be of benefit? One thing you are obviously not is a doctor! Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc PlanetGeli 8 Jul 2017 11:50 1213 Doctors are especially trained never to read anything, never to think and never to talk to patients about their experiences. We don't study pharmacology and physiology and we have never, ever discovered that drugs have side effects. We do not understand, and this we appear to have in common with our patients, that all treatment is a balance between good and bad... ... I never, ever warn my patients. I never, ever start at a low dose. I never, ever, give advice about when to give up on a drug, and how to stop it. Perhaps it is because I'm not a GP? Or I'm a sarcastic SOB? Share Facebook Twitter Report OutOfOptions scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:27 1011 I'm feeling excruciatingly irritated by some of the comments here and I'm just a person on SSRIs. I can't imagine how much worse it must be for you!!!!! Share Facebook Twitter Report Show 2 more replies PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 9:40 56 This drug produces feelings of intensified worry/anxiety when it is first taken. I found that on a 10mg dose - the starting dose - I felt much worse initially. Those feelings of numbness and being unable to access your feelings will eventually return because that is what the drug does - it numbs you. It won't help you heal, and all of those feelings you couldn't access in therapy will likely come back when you eventually come off it. Problem is, unless you receive helpful tapering advice - which isn't currently available via the NHS - you will struggle with even stronger emotions when you come off which mimic your original symptoms but which are actually your mind reacting to the withdrawal of the drug. For many people this looks like their original symptoms have worsened and they get put back on the drug again. It is this cycle of what is essentially chemical dependency which keeps people in services and which persuades them that they are either more "mentally ill" than before or destined to suffer long term. The issue of chemical dependency and repeat prescribing needs to be addressed ! Share Facebook Twitter Report FleurBaladine PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 10:11 12 Check the half-life of the drug. Some you can come off quite quickly. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc PolleeD 8 Jul 2017 11:53 56 I suggest looking at SSRIs on "NHS Choices" before saying what the NHS doesn't offer... KEY COMMENTS: ID2411130 amymcm 8 Jul 2017 10:14 45 I have to disagree strongly with this and other statements that one or two tablets of an SSRI can't have that effect. My life was almost completely destroyed by two doses of citalopram 9 years ago. The first dose left me, within hours with intense akasthesia that didn't go away for about two years. The GP said 'side effects were normal' in the early weeks and urged me to continue, so I took another. I then spent the entire night awake in hell begging my husband to never let me take another no matter what. I never took another one, but it took me years to recover. I couldn't sit down to eat or watch TV for a very long time as I was so agitated. It was like prolonged torture and the worst years of my life. It sparked off years of severe anxiety and agoraphobia. The irony was that I wasn't even depressed. I felt really ill with some minor psychiatric manifestations alongside many physical symptoms. Rather than investigate what was actually wrong with me the GP saw late 30,s housewife and thought I needed antidepressants, despite me saying I was not the least bit depressed. The years after the citalopram where the darkest of my life, and o am still now only getting to the bottom of my health issues and understanding what went wrong. It turns out I had Lyme disease with co infections, and we now know I also have a rare disorder- mast cell activation disease- which may have caused the severe reaction. The internet is full of support groups for people who had severe adverse life changing events from this and other antidepressants. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc ID2411130 8 Jul 2017 12:05 78 The internet is also full of people who think that Donald Trump is the Hand of God... ... it doesn't make it true. Antidepressants are both life-saving and horrible. Depression comes in many shapes and sizes: there is evidently a fear of admitting to depression. There is also a real confusion, related to the way in which some symptoms of depression are initially exaggerated by treatment with antidepressants, between the illness and the medication No-one should be afraid of reporting depression; no-one should be afraid if it's diagnosed. Drugs should be respected, but not feared: other treatments should be much more widely a available. Depression without drugs is the horror of Bedlam that we do not want back... may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. DAW188 8 Jul 2017 9:54 1112 I too have been diagnosed with PTSD which in the past has led to periods of prolonged anxiety symptoms (to the point I couldn't even open the curtains in my home for fear of something intangible awful thing befalling me) which in turn caused severe depression. Twice I have been give SSRI's to 'help' by my doctor. Citalopram the first time, Sertaline the second time. All I would say to anyone who is taking these drugs is to be very very careful! I have never normally been suicidal, even at my most ill (just doesn't seem to be in my nature) but two of my paternal uncles and my Father all killed themselves before the age of 40. I was asked about this by both the GP's who prescribed me drugs and they still went ahead with the prescription. By the end of a four week course on Citalopram, I couldn't even get out of bed, which frankly even when I was at my most ill was not like me. So I stopped and recovered and was fine for around 7 years. Then I had a severe relapse and got to the doctor (new GP as old one had left the surgery) again and explained the problems I had had with Citalopram and so was given Sertaline instead. Well by the end of a four week course of that I was suicidal, for the first time in my life. In the end the police turned up as I had been reported as a missing person by my employer and I was very close to being carted off and sectioned. So again I stopped taking the medication. Within days I was no longer wanting to die and had begun to recover just the tiniest part of myself. When I finally got dragged to my GP (by my boss no less as she was so concerned about the state of me) I explained what had happened and also what happened previously with Citalopram and got the response "It can't of been the medication, it must have been a decline in your mental health that would have happened anyway, the SSRI probably stopped it from being worse" which is exactly what every mental health paitent wants to hear 'it's all in your head'. Hasten to say I swapped GP's at the same surgery, when I explained my family history to the new GP she recoiled in horror at what the previous GP's had put me on. She explained that for anywhere between 1-10 and 1-100 patients (apparently research is still undecided as to exactly what the number is) SSRI have almost a polar opposite effect to the one they are designed to have, leading to increased symptoms of anxiousness, depression and suicidal thought. One of the warning signs is a strong family history of suicide. I've learnt over the years how to manage my condition. Talking therapy, a good well rounded diet and exercise, meditation and being as open and honest with the people I trust about what is really going on inside my head. They've learnt the warning signs and so have I and it means now if I start to fall off a cliff, I or someone else can grab my hand and intervene to save me. I'm not saying medication doesn't work, it does, some people find it helps them in no end of ways to get that boost to overcome the obstacles that mental illness lay in their path. But I would recommend have a proper in-depth discussion with your GP before taking them (some GP's seem very quick to go 'let me write you a prescription' the moment you explain your symptoms). Also make sure someone you trust and who knows you well is aware of what you are taking and checks on you regularly (daily at least I would say) to make sure they don't see you declining. Often a friend, family member or colleague can pick up something isn't working before you can. Share Facebook Twitter Report BraceYourself DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:05 78 I'm sorry but it can't have been the medication. Citalopram is not known anywhere to create issues like you had. I suggest other things were at play Thanks - take good care of old sport - a fellow traveller!!? Share Facebook Twitter Report DAW188 BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:26 56 Citalopram actually now carries warning labels about its possible risk of increasing suicide rates (as do other SSRI's) and having now volunteered for several mental health charities over the years I have found my experience is far from a one off. As I said it does help plenty of others though. However I notice you seem very defensive about SSRI use (particularly citalopram) not a drugs rep by any chance? Share Facebook Twitter Report Loading… BraceYourself DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:33 23 Paracetamol carries a label now. No not a drugs rep and hate the stronger anti depressants, they are soul sucking. There are many people who are a bit more up and down than others, more and more as the years go on. There is a valid place for this mild mood stabiliser. I'm defensive on something I've taken for 20 years and the over reaction and exaggeration contained within Share Facebook Twitter Report AonOlc DAW188 8 Jul 2017 10:37 12 Very sensible advice. Share Facebook Twitter Report mediaboy BraceYourself 8 Jul 2017 10:53 45 Thanks doctor, for your utter cluelessness. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc mediaboy 8 Jul 2017 12:28 23 We are trained in cluelessness... ... although if Brace is a doctor, I'm Charley's Aunt... Report SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 10:01 12 After Grenfell, I had the symptoms of PTSD. The correct treatment for this is psychology and drug-free cognitive behavioral therapy but, psychiatrists will deceive people and give them addictive and dangerous drugs. Never trust a psychiatrist, unless they tell the truth about medications. scubadoc Wiltsbloke 8 Jul 2017 12:35 56 OK: but it is likely true that PTSD can be triggered by a perceived threat as well as by a real one, so objectively minor trauma can actually generate the syndrome. placebo effect. Share Facebook Twitter Report cassandrasshrink 8 Jul 2017 10:06 23 Dear lovely Deborah. If you're not already working with a sensorimotor therapist and doing some EMDR work it really really helps. Not a quick fix but the safest thing you'll find. Take care, be well. Share scubadoc cassandrasshrink 8 Jul 2017 12:39 45 Good grief! That took a long time to appear, despite being one of the major therapies: there seems to have been little mention of the importance of combining drugs with other treatments. My practice includes a lot of reactive depression and we rarely use antidepressants for it: GPs seem to use them a lot. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 10:11 12 Akathisia from poisoning and/or withdrawal is horrible and dangerous and often causes suicidal ideation and high risk of suicide. The fact is many people do not have the chemistry to handle these toxic drugs and here in the UK, they bypass the testing to see whether it is safe to give patients medications. Share Facebook Twitter Report scubadoc SubjectiveSubject 8 Jul 2017 12:53 45 I don"t mean to be nasty, but I'm worried about you: you seem agitated and unwell. I know that you are worried about medication, but could you contact local help, like Healthy Minds or the equivalent, of you can"t face your GP? If you were involved in Grenfell, then there has been more than enough stress to go around. You can refuse drugs, it's your body and your mind, but things sound very difficult for you. A discussion about the comtroversial subject of drugs in mental health isn"t a good place to get advice, as you are getting extremes of opinion and garbled evidence, even "fake news". Share Facebook Twitter Report SubjectiveSubject scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 12:57 12 My experience of Grenfell is being treated by professional therapy that has worked. My experience of medication goes back years when I was coerced and poisoned, suffering near-fatal side-effects. This is how I know the industry is a scam. Please don't patronise. Share Facebook Twitter Report SubjectiveSubject scubadoc 8 Jul 2017 13:01 This comment was removed by a moderator because it didn't abide by our community standards. Replies may also be deleted. For more detail see our FAQs. Facebook Twitter Rep
  12. Hi all, I would like to come off of all the drugs I am on. I have an appointment with a Psychiatrist in November as I have asked for a re-assement (to consider a diagnosis of CPTSD rather than Borderline Personality Disorder) and I plan to begin my taper once under their supervision. I have been on Citalopram (now 40 mgs) for approx. 18 years. I was put on Quetiapine (now 200 mgs) approximately 5 years ago when I experienced a total breakdown after the birth of a baby. At the time I suffered from extreme insomnia (zero sleep for 5 nights), which led to relentless anxiety (non stop panic) and eventual psychosis. The Quetiapine wasn't relieving all my symptoms. I ended up admitted to hospital where I was put on Pregabalin (now 300 mgs). I would like to know the best way to approach this. I'd like to go to the Psychiatrist with a plan to propose. My GP wanted me to drop 25 mgs each med each week and I'm guessing that's too much at once?
  13. Hi friends, My name is Gibby and I'm a 25 year old male with a diagnosis of generalized anxiety disorder. I have been on medication for 5 years. I have been fairly stable while on medication, but I've been unhappy about taking olanzapine, even though my dose is very low (1.8mg for five years) and the physical side effects are more annoying than dangerous. However, I understand that serious complications can arise from taking this drug for a long time, so I've been looking to come off it for quite awhile. I started a withdrawal at the beginning of June, but it was mostly an experiment and I lasted about three days; I didn't really know what I was doing. Last Saturday night (with my doctor's consent!), I decided to try again with some more supports in place and some more coping techniques. These helped but I wasn't sleeping at all, and these last few days have been very bad. I haven't been able to eat or exercise much and my parents are exhausted in trying to care for me. I still feel like "me", my personality hasn't changed but I feel physically really unwell and anxious and depressed. I've decided to go back on the medication for awhile to get stable again (I expect to be a little zonked for the first five days or so back on, no big deal) and then try a different plan. My family wanted me to keep trying to get over the hump, but I can feel my nervous system freaking out and I don't have the practice in CBT techniques or keeping my mind safe, especially with no sleep and no real plan. I did my best for five days, and I hope that giving up now to try later doesn't make me some kind of chicken. I really wanted to but I guess my body-mind isn't ready. Do you guys/gals/others have any advice for next time? Anybody else gone through this? I'm also going to go off the citalopram eventually but the olanzapine is the main goal for right now. Thank you!
  14. Hello Everyone! I've taken Celexa for several years for my anxiety/panic disorder. It has worked fairly well for me over time but I seem to have recently developed adverse side effects. There have been times over the last several years where I didn't suffer from any anxiety or panic and have felt amazing. The last couple months have been very stressful for me and something seems to have changed. It seems the Celexa is manifesting some very uncomfortable and debilitating side effects. I've had terrible anxiety and nausea/dizziness. I've also been experiencing tachycardia during the day and at night after I fall asleep. I've been to the hospital twice in the last couple weeks with grave concern only to be told my heart is healthy. I'm convinced the tachycardia is related to my Celexa and feel I need to discontinue it's use. Have any of you had this same experience/ side effect from an SSRI? It is beyond scary to wake up in the middle of the night with a pounding heart, which only triggers anxiety and panic. Like I mentioned, I've attempted to withdraw in the past. I experience severe 'brain zaps' and suffer from increased anxiety and panic. I really want to be free of this drug and cannot continue to suffer the consequences I'm currently experiencing. I'm afraid to even go to sleep for fear of waking in the middle of the night with a racing heart and extreme panic. Can anyone relate or offer help? I'm desperate.
  15. Moderator note - link to benzo forum thread - Spice81: Please help I’ve recently gone from years on fluoxetine to straight swap to citalapram for 5 weeks now straight swap to venlafaxine I’ve experienced bad diarrhoea nausea rapid weight loss due to no appetite and tingling burning knumb sensations in my hands anyone else experience this
  16. I was on Citalopram for 2 years - first year was 20mg, second year was 40mg. I basically cold turkey'd by going from 40mg to 0mg in 4 weeks in August 2015. My withdrawals were somewhat delayed and unusual. Just one night I experienced a sharp shooting pain in my head (about a month after stopping) and that made me panic (never felt anything like this before). All was fine thereafter until at night time I started to experience this very strange restlessness in my leg, which one iterate from one leg to the other over a space of a month. Only at night. Then I was fine for a month until the shooting pains started to come back along with this bright white dot that would fly across my vision in a split second - went to the optician to get checked up and all was fine. Then I never had a symptom up until a few months later (5 months off) after a heavy night of drinking alcohol, I woke up still drunk - no biggie, I've had that before from drinking too much - I sat down, had a cup of coffee along with a bun (my diet is usually strict, this is a one off) - I then had a sudden urge to go to the toilet, then I found blood... I then had an immediate panic attack along with a dropping sensation whilst on the toilet. The panic just got worse and worse and I couldn't breathe. I rang the ambulance and the took me to hospital. Whilst I was waiting to be seen, my most horrific symptom started there - this rocking/swaying boat sensation. I also felt very sick to my stomach. That lasted for a while, until I left... then I was fine. For 2 days I was quite nauseous. Then the swaying struck again a few days later in a parked car, I got out and ran to the middle of the carpark not knowing what to do - I honestly had this terrible fear inside me that I was about to die... but I didn't. I kept getting hypnic jerks everytime I tried to sleep thereafter. Long story short, my symptoms all got much worse and my doctors diagnosed me with an inner ear infection (which I believe at the time), then they told me its normal to have anxiety with it, which would explain all the other symptoms. It will be my 1 year anniversary since my symptoms all began and nearly 1.5 years since finishing the drug. During that time though, they tried to put me back on Citalopram (one doctor thought it to be withdrawal) he gave me the top dose I was originally on, 40mg and that near killed me - sent me straight to hospital. They didn't know what was wrong with me, but did every test under the sun for my heart rate was all over the place and temperature was very high. That took weeks to recovery from, it made me feel like I was walking on trampolines! Then they tried Sertraline, similar affect but not as bad. Then they tried an anti-vertigo med Prochlorperazine which I trialed for a few days and I felt very cold and sicky on that. Little did I know I was doing myself big big damage. I got a Brain MRI and everything which was clear, then they diagnosed me with Lyme disease. BUT THEN THE PENNY DROPPED! IT'S WITHDRAWAL! I'm better than I was and most symptoms are gone, and my anxiety has definitely subsided. However, considering all the reinstatements and bad reactions - will I be recovering for years? Not many people seem to have that internal rocking/swaying sensation I have... Mostly Benzo people do. Do we know anyone that has been cured completely of this? Because its by far my worst! PS. I also get burning/prickling on the tops of my hands sometimes after eating turkey or chicken. Its hard to tell. I also get pins and needles VERY easily. Anyone on the same boat?
  17. I am coming off that evil drug and have never been so sick in my life. This is so hard and If experienced every symptom flu like symptoms,brain shivers! diahrea, sad, angry etc. Its not even a narcotic. so why??????
  18. I recently weaned off of Citalopram after 14 years of use. Based on what I've read here it was an aggressive weaning. I was at 40mg, went to 20 mg for 4 weeks, 10 mg for 10 weeks, 5 mg for 8 weeks. This was under the direction of a general practice physician. I have now been off for 7 weeks. I am past physical withdrawal symptoms of head buzzing, etc. but I am really struggling emotionally. Lots of crying, everything tinged with darkness, anxiety, near panic. I want to be normal. I want to be happy again. I only got off the drugs to remove dependency, sick of buzzes if I missed a pill, felt like I had lost a mental edge I had prior to the drug. I need help, I have a psychiatrist appt in 4 weeks. I see a therapist, but need expertise with these drugs. Should I resume the drugs? St. John's Wort? Anything else? Is there a quick fix? Do I just tough it out?
  19. Hi, so I am about to start my journey of slow withdrawal. I aim to contact my GP tomorrow to make an appointment to ask him for some support. Firstly I need him to take me seriously about the severity of two previous attempts at withdrawal and secondly I need him to be able to provide me with liquid form citalopram which is doubt more difficult to get. Any support and advice is greatly appreciated. I’m desperate and also determined.
  20. Hi everyone. Quick intro: Due to a long term dependency on alcohol to self medicate my panic disorder I decided enough was enough had sought detox which in turn led me to my doctor approx 2+ years ago. Since then I (had) been sober until 7 weeks ago where went on an awful bender before ending up in hospital and going into detox again. I have been diagnosed as depressed for over 15 years but I have always been very weary of AD's ... my panic disorder was finally diagnosed around 18 months ago and since then I have had citropram thrown at me briefly before being switch to escitropram which seemed to work wonders I was back working and was busy and happy and less anxious and had the bright idea to taper of because "I" thought I did not need them"... bad idea two weeks after my last dose I started to crash emotionally and physically sometimes ...until I ended up drinking again (briefly) After detox my doctor spoke to me about my experience on escitropram and I told her it gave me bad stomach ache after taking but worked... so she decided to try me of Venzir/Effexor XL 75mg 1 day and I have quit... my nerves lit up like a Christmas tree and the nausea was unbearable and add to that here in the UK we are in the middle of a savage, clammy, humid heatwave... I took it yesterday morning and today I am still suffering extreme nausea and tingling all over still ... ONE pill may have messed me up for a few days ? Does anyone have any experience like this ? It should be well out of my system by now ... it's been 26 hours and its half life is only 16
  21. Hi I can’t give a list of the dates and meds I have been on, as I can’t remember, I am a recovered alcoholic/ addict , and have been on lots of meds including most antidepressants and lithium, I recently tapered off 20mg citalopram , I went down over a couple of months to 10mg every 2 days and then 1 week and a bit ago stopped completely. today I think I finally ended my relationship, my anger towards my partner is out of control, I’m horrible... i think this might be who I really am, I hate myself and am struggling to continue.
  22. Hi everybody. I never joined a forum before but now it's time. I've been on AD's for about 20 years now. Always resistant to staying on them, because of flat affect and just a lot of fear of side effects. Started on maprotiline (yeah, nobody's heard of it) a tetracyclic, then tried St John's Wort, SAMe, TCM, before getting prescribed Celexa. My pattern was to stay on until I felt OK, than go off, probabl;y way too fast for my sensitive system, and crash. Aside from sadness and lack of energy/motivation, my main symptom was horrible insomnia -- I have atypical PTSD symptoms from a major trauma that included pretty much not sleeping for three weeks. Sleep is a big deal, not sleeping gives me really bad anxiety. So I went up and down on Celexa at the advice of my GP, pretty much staying below 20mg, and at one point on 5mg for quite a while and doing well. Used lorazepam periodically for sleep, and went off that really slowly without too much difficulty. Unfortunately, when I decided to go off Celexa (at the advice of a TCM doc who was supposed to be brilliant and said I didn't need it) I ran into a major stressful life event (my 19 yr old learning disabled daughter got pregnant and decided to have her baby) and crashed. In addition to the stress, it was again probably a mistake to stop 5mg cold. I didn't know. After a few weeks of hell and lots of acupuncture, I went back on but it took too long to start having an effect and... I eventually went to the ER, and was advised by the doc who advised not to go to the psych ward, and prescribed more lorazepam. Two days later I saw a PDoc for the first time. She prescribed a small dose od Zyprexa to "augment" the Celexa, and help me sleep. Which it did -- three days later I felt better and could function again. 20mg Celexa and 1.25 Zyprexa. A couple of months later when I was still up and down she added 50mg of lamictal to help me with "stability". So now on three drugs, sleeping, relatively stable. Over the next couple of years, I was able to bring the Zyprexa down to about .35mg, but couldn't get off without crashing. My PDoc called it a "homeopathic dose" and didn't try to get me off. REALLY sensitive to this stuff. Three years into this, a year ago, I had another stressful stretch, and incrreased to 1mg Zyprexa. Then I developed a tremor in my right hand. I freaked -- my dad had Parkinson's. After being in denial for 4-5 months, I finally went to a neurologist and after several tests told me it could be Parkinson's or it could be the Zyprexa. She suggested I try to switch to Seroquel that is supposedly less likely to have this side effect. Oh my, here comes the really bad part -- my PDoc said I could just do a switch of Zyprexa for Seroquel at "equivalent" doses. She knows how sensitive I am and this was a BIG mistake. I switched, and totally crashed. I was supposed to then increase the Seroquel until I felt better. That lasted about two weeks when I developed akathisia. Was given Cogentin and UGH, I couldn't think, my hands trembled, I couldn't have a normal conversation and my memory went downhill. PDoc said switch back to Zyprexa so I did but now at a higher "equivalent" dose (2.5mg). Akathisia didn't go away. Tried to drop Zyprexa to 2mg and BOOM, more depression. Back up, more akathisia. My PDoc then gave up and passed me on to another PDoc (not a bad thing at this point, but I felt abandoned). Since then, I'm titrating down on Zyprexa by .05mg per week. At 2mg now and akathisia is somewhat better but I still can't relax at all, and I still don't know if the tremor is drug induced or Parkinson's. I get the 10% per month and I plan to follow that as closely as I can. I've had enough of these meds. It makes me really sad that I know it's a long road ahead to get back to a semblance of normal. I wake up every morning trembling and depressed. I eat really healthy and walk 6-9 miles a day. By mid-day I feel a bit better but can't stop obsessing about the tremor. Can't concentrate much or I get really tired. Afraid to go outside my routine because it's more stressful and the symptoms get worse. I'm looking into TMS as a way to support this process. Whoever reads this thanks for listening, it gets really lonely sometimes, I'f you're here, I'm sure you know.
  23. Hi, I am 63 years old and have been on psychicatric drugs for 34 years. In the past five years I have discontinued Trazadone, Lamotrigine, klonopin, Seroquel. The most recent one being Seroquel at 600mg. I tapered by 25mg. per month. I had horrible withdrawals and still had symptoms after three months after stopping it. The most troublesome symtoms I still had was the sweating/chills, Chorea involuntary movements, burning sensation in my head, face, legs and arms, anxiety. I have been on Celexa for the past eight to ten years and just recently discovered that Celexa can cause Chorea movements as well, so I have decided to discontinue this drug too. I began on 40mg. and started my taper 12 days ago at 5 mg. per month under the care of my general practitioner. I have not noticed any new withdrawals symptoms that I have already experienced from the above symptoms, , just an increase in intensity from time to time ( especially the Chorea Movements). I am trying to eat healthy, I take amino acids, inositol/choline and vitamins and mineral supplements. I am currently chair ridden due to bone on bone arthritis in my hips; on the waiting list for hip replacement surgery hopefully to be done this fall/winter. It has been a long journey to get this far in my recovery from psychiatric drugs and I hope I can continue to be strong. Genlady.
  24. Hi All I'm relieved to find a forum out there that fits my situation. The doctors say withdrawal symptoms should stop a month or two after stopping ssri's but I think they are wrong and I'm sure many of you agree. Thanks for listening to my story, I'll try to keep it brief. 13 years ago at age 25 my anxiety got the better of me I developed social phobia in the form of constant blushing and shaking when interacting with people. It psychologically crippled me. I lost my job and could barely leave my house. I left it a year before I went to a doctor by which time I was a complete mess. The doc prescribed me 20mg citalopram and that drug worked wonders! It stopped me blushing 95% of the time and meant I could lead a normal life again plus it made me cheerful and carefree. Amazing! But, every time I tried to come off it my blushing would return so I ended up staying on it for 11 years. I didn't really have any side effects until after 8 years when I started getting tinnitus and night sweats. These got worse and worse, I would lay in bed with my ears ringing so loud it was like I'd been to a nightclub! And the night sweats became unbearable, I would wake up 4 times a night soaked to the skin, freezing cold, need to change my clothes, bedding, take a shower I got so tired from bad sleep. So I went to doc and she put me on beta blockers which are working great and I don't need to take them that often as my blushing is nowhere near as bad now I'm 38. Great news BUT the side effects/withdrawal of coming off citalopram has been sooooo tough. Ive been off 8 months now. For the first 3 months I was so depressed, I wanted to cry all day and even felt suicidal at times. For the second 3 months I had terrible anxiety and would get to almost having panic attacks. For the last 2 months I feel a little better but have little interest in people, people just get on my nerves and I feel distant from everyone, I have a 'don't care' attitude and my marriage is suffering because of it as I'm moody and quick to anger Plus throughout the 8 months I still have those damn night sweats combined with bad insomnia! It's been 8 months but I still wake up soaked to the skin and even when I'm not sweating I just can't sleep! I don't know how I'm functioning normally as I slept better when my kids were newborns!! Some nights I just lay in bed with my eyes shut but awake for hours and hours looking at the clock every so often and thinking 'I can't believe it's 4:30am, I havent slept yet and I need to get up for work at 7am!' Has anyone else been in this situation? How long do the sweats last? My doc says they should have gone after a month or so and has booked me blood tests to check for early menopause, but I know it's due to citalopram use. How about the insomnia? Have I somehow damaged my nervous system and it's going to take years to repair itself, if ever?? I'd never have stayed on citalopram that long if I'd known it's legacy would be so long lasting. Thank you for reading my history. I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling like I am 'surviving' antidepressants. I have no one to talk to as I'm a private person and none of my friends know about my history and my husband lost interest a long time ago. Any advice is welcome xxx
  25. Hi everyone! I am new here, and for the past almost week I have been reading all of this invaluable information and learning so much. My journey goes back to June 2016 when after a jaw surgery that wouldn't heal I found my self extremely stressed not sleeping due to pain and overwhelmed which forces my Dr to offer me a script for citalopram 10mg to get me through my trying time. My Dr said to give it 6 months and then I could wean off. The meds worked like a charm and I breezed through the 6 months and came off with a few brain zaps and a few headaches for a couples weeks and then it was done. Skip forward to June 2017 when I wound up catching strep throat from my son which ended with a script for antibiotics and a horrid case of c. Diff as a result of antibiotics. Again my health anxiety shot through the roof and my Dr once again offered a ssri to get me through. This time escitalopram 10mg the med worked well without any side effects I was on them from June 2017 - February 2018 when I decided to taper off I went as my Dr suggested from 10mg to 5mg over about 10 days and then went off. I began to feel crummy stomach problems, looser stool (sorry tmi) nausea. I called my Dr she told me to go back on a small dose to see if the symptoms went away, which I went on 2.5mg and the symptoms went away. I stayed on 2.5mg for about 10 days and again went off. I did good from the end of Feb- mid April. Looking at my journal I was off almost 11 weeks. And then once again symptoms restarted GI type (not sure if that's a common thing after ssris) reflux/heartburn type symptoms, fatigue, and some increasing anxiety. 2 days ago I called my Dr and she recommends I start back on 10 mg of citalopram. I took 5mg of citalopram today. But am worried if I should continue, what is the best way to proceed? Should I continue on with citalopram or should I try to power through off of meds? Any suggestions? Thank you in advance.
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