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  1. Hi Everyone, First of all I want to thank each person who will take the time to read my story and answer me This is my story and I could write a book.. I am a 33 years old French man I started PAROXETINE when I was 16 years old ( 18 years of treatment ) 2006 I Started PAROXETINE at 20mg by my family doctor following a huge panic attack triggered by a bad trip to Canabis (heavy consumption the same day) in high school, with a suddenly effects of DP/ DR tenfold, symptom accompanied by period of black out.. I was not a regular consumer just a young person with bad attendance and very impressionable who wanted to try. At this point I did not know what DPDR was and no doctor explained to me the why of the how. For me it was a reaction of cannabis. The years have passed I have not had any particular psychological or psychiatric follow-up. DPDR it is installed then it is attenuated until disappearing, I remember having occasional panic attacks that manifested by a DPDR and then went away.. Terrible teen that I was it was not my lesson, DPDR resurfaced on a Christmas night or I re-smoked cannabis with a bad trip that manifested as the first time with blackout periods The years have passed. I tried to stop treatment with my doctor several times. The instructions of my first weaning were to take 1 pills per day then every other day then every other day etc... The symptoms of physical withdrawal brain zap often made me stop attempts to stop treatment because unbearable with reintroduction of the dose at 20mg each time. I had to stay at least 8-10 years at 20mg I felt normal. 2015-2016 During these years I always wanted deep down to stop this treatment because I did not want to be dependent on a drug and for me everything was fine but I began to be afraid of the long-term effect on my memory, An example in a discussion with friends when I was asked, you remember when we did this on that day or you remember this movie… and I had trouble remembering each time… (I still have this problem to this day 18 years later) So I started looking on the internet for a way to stop this treatment that for me was the cause of this loss of memory and that would make me lose my mind in the long term.. I do not have a great memory but I found this forum in 2015 or I found info that explained that during a withdrawal it was especially important not to jump dose and that it was necessary to gradually decrease the doses by taking it all the days I started to cut the tablet from 20mg in 2 from 20mg to 10mg I stayed for a long time at month 2-3 years at this dose trying later to cut it again in 2 and passing to 5mg It should be noted that during all these years I have always been someone very anxious who constantly wonders about the why of the like, life, existence, a terrible anguish by death with occasional anxiety attack and panic attack that manifested through a DP/DR and then passed and I became normal again without being blocked in the DP/DR (I still don’t know what DP/DR was in those 2015-16 years) 2020 My wife gets pregnant, upheaval in our life, during pregnancy questions begin to settle, life, life existence, aging etc… We go on holiday in the USA in the family of my wife For 3 weeks I drink alcohol because the family there party and drink alcohol, almost every day, (but usually I do not drink alcohol I drink some beer from time to time but no more...) At this time (and even before these holidays ) I regularly drank lots of coffee like any normal person. Coffee has always tended to make my heart beat We come back from vacation the same evening I lie next to my wife and a big palpitation happen, I put the hand of my wife on my heart I’m afraid, I have the impression of having a heart attack, but it is a panic attack. I ended up falling asleep.. The next day, everything got weird I’m not myself the DPDR came back knocking and settles and gets worse by the day The loop settles, existential questions turn in loop, the birth of my future child, the fear of growing up, aging and death, it turns in loop, all the days. I’m not hungry anymore. This time it’s about I’m going crazy, I literally think I’m going schizophrenic. (I still don’t know what DPDR is at that time) I decide to make an appointment with a psychiatrist explaining the situation, at that time I was at 10mg PAROXETINE, he tells me that 10mg is not a therapeutic dose it is necessary to go up to 20mg to feel effects I go up to 20mg of PAROXETINE but nothing always passes this weird feeling of being foreign to myself. I take an other appointment with him and he tell me to go up to 40mg of PAROXETINE and prescribe TRANXENE(Clorazépate) to take punctually I try some day I take a TRANXENE my condition worsens.. I continue it’s even worse I decide to go down to 20mg of PARXOETINE it’s still not okay but I continue and stabilize to 20mg of PAROXETINE I am afraid, I take refuge on the internet, what happens to me? I search : "Weird sensation of not being yourself" I discover the word Depersonalization and Déréalization DP/DR I search and search and read lots of forums in French, English, YouTube etc… , I’m a little reassured because I’m not alone in having this but I’m still with this DP/DR symptoms I come across a video the guy explains that : "it’s a weird sensation, its strange but not dangerous… quick tips put sunglasses!" , I do it immediately it calms down a little and I come across a site that catches my attention: "the guide to overcome dpdr" of Shaun O Connor I read it and learn what is really the DPDR, its a symptom of Aniety, then i applied to the letter the steps of the guide. Time passes I get back to the gym, I discover breathing, cardiac coherence, I go see a Psychologist expert in EFT technique to manage my emotions, DP/DR still does not pass I continue to look, I go to see a neuropsychologist I make a brain x-ray for me I have a tumor but results... no, nothing i am normal. The sessions pass, I hang up during this period to snort a paper soaked with lavender because I read that it calms the stress, my state improves only a little I hold the blow, I occupy my mind, I work, my daughter is finally born, I listen to music all day, music is my life. I’m a drummer. I put into practice what I learn in the guide! I stop eating too much candy of all kinds during this period and especially I stop coffee because I learn that it triggers anxiety in my case, I tell myself that’s it, I drink up to 4-5 coffee a day, I put my finger on the cause I drink too much coffee and too much caffeine = palpitation = it triggers my screams of anxiety why I didn’t think about it earlier… For me I found the solution: I stop coffee = I wouldn’t have panic attacks I stop my antidepressant = I am cured no more memory problem. Life goes on DPRDR fades and DPDR disappears without I really realize when 2021 My daughter grew up, she is already 1 year old and I no longer have an anxiety attack, I really feel normal The Covid lockdown is coming and I stay at home I see my daughter growing, stressed of this strange period but no anxiety attack, because for me I put my finger on the problem, no more panic attack as long as I will not drink coffee I will not have any anxiety attack. I start to look to now deal with this PAROXETINE treatment. I read and read on the internet I learn that PAROXETINE has a very short half-life that must be reduced by 10% increments otherwise the side effects happen very quickly. I learn that PAROXETINE exists in liquid version so i begin it. 2022-2023 I do an excel sheet with calculations and final dates, end of year I am free of this poison that for me makes me lose memory and that is finally can be also potentially trigger Anxiety DP/DR I start the liquid version I go down from 20mg to 10mg of PAROXETINE, everything is fine I stabilize at 10mg and I continue by lowering 1mg by 1mg Every month so : 9mg - 8mg -7mg - 6mg...until 0 I arrive at 2 mg of PAROXETINE i do not have any withdrawal symptom but onyl light brain zap, but problem, the bottle is empty I go to the pharmacy as usual to take my treatment but the pharmacist told me that the liquid version is stopped in France for an indeterminate duration.. I drive until 2 hours to take the last stock of pharmacies nearby I go down to 1.5mg of PAROXETINE, I’m almost there, I’m at the end but I have no more PAROXETINE in the bottle... what do I do? I go on internet I search that I could make switches on PROZAC/FLUOXETINE which is also in liquid. I don’t have time, I don’t have anything left in the bottle just enough to switch gradually to PROZAC. I change my excel table with the dose and date calculation for the switch and let’s go. Meanwhile I move, I buy a house and begins heavy renovation work, lots of stress.. I debute a cross switch I lower the PAROXETINE : 1,5mg - 1 - 0,5 - 0 and rise to 5mg of PROZAC and stabilize during 4 week of PROZAC Brain zaps are hard but I’m finally going to be free… I’m holding on I’m almost there.. The days pass and suddenly DPDR arrives from nowhere and settles down and no longer me, what happens to me I thought I was done? I don’t drink coffee anymore how is that possible? This time it’s the right one my brain is screwed. My condition degrades very quickly I put my sunglasses I take out my lavender paper back.. The loop resets day after day with the fear of being afraid… , severe depression, severe anxiety, morning diarrhea, awakening with palpitation great sadness, uncontrolled crying, impulse phobia I am afraid of hurting myself I am afraid of committing suicide, I’m doing work in the bathroom upstairs I look at the window I’m afraid of losing control and jumping.. MARCH 2023 I can’t stay like this… I have a home business if I don’t work I don’t make money… I take refuge on the internet and I search: Best psychiatrist DP/DR specialist I search and I search I find a 400km a specialized hospital that speaks of DPDR the psychiatrist seems to know what she speaks and recognized in the environment I take appointment I melt in tears I’m at the bottom of the hole.. She told me that the dose are too low and prescribed me 20mg of PROZAC and ATARAX(Hydroxyzine) to take punctually 2 weeks pass I retake an appointment with her it goes very slightly better so I continue at 20mg 4 weeks pass it worse, I have the impression that the PROZAC is too strong and it is what induces and persists DP/DR I ask him to lower to 10mg I ask her if she knows a therapist because I would like to take things in hand and start a CBT , She gives me the name of a colleague she works with I take 1 session then 2,3,4 until 8, i hang on that, I speak to her, it does me good I wait for each session as a deliverance, It costs me a lot of money but I have no choice. At the same time the DPDR persists I am still not myself sudden mood changes, sudden big sadness, uncontrolled crying, morning diarrhea, my libido collapses.. My wife is aware of my PAROXETINE treatment we have been together for 18 years , she has always suffered my mood change and do not understand I look good outside... but I in my head it is hell She often asks me "what you look like you’re depressed ?" My 3-year-old daughter also often asks me: "Dad, why are you making that face" , "Dad, why are you sad?" I’m having a hard time playing and taking care of her.. My anxiety is too present it always turns in loop in my head. All awakenings are accompanied with palpitations and a new symptoms in the morning of the awakening are random words and phrases that pass at full speed in my head like when you have a music stuck in your head What happens to me? I go crazy ? I have random words in my head i talk to myself ? this time it’s sure for me I am becoming schizophrenic... (but my Psychiatrist told me : I promise you are not schizophrenic, its all about anxiety..) SEPTEMBER 2023 4 months pass the sessions of CBT help me a little, I space the sessions them more and more because too expensive, the DPDR is always present for me I am still not normal I am always disconnected I continue to occupy my mind every minute, I continue the renovation of my house all the days even the week-end, first minute of each day I put my earphones I have to occupy my mind, I listen to podcasts until the evening everything is good so that I avoid thinking about DP/DR and looping on the existential thoughts it tired me but I have no other solution.. OCTOBER 2023 A rather exceptional event manifests itself on a Sunday, by sudden brain zap, vertigo.. , I wonder what happens to me, big palpitation I have the impression that I will have a heart attack, I am at 2 finger to call the emergency, I decide to go to the "Emergency Pharmacy" because all our pharmacy are closed on Sunday in France, I take my prescription with me, I tell myself that the box of prozac has a defect and that suddenly I have brain zap I do not understand.. To my surprise and as the pharmacist informs me: "Sir it’s normal, have a look, they were wrong at your last prescription, they gave you PAROXETINE instead of PROZAC, I look at the prescription and it is well marked : PAROXETINE delivery. I cry, its a nightmare.. Its actually been 1 month that I had switch without knowing 10mg of PROZAC to 10mg of PAROXETINE. Unfortunately, I did not notice this mistake cause I usually put the box of medicine in my bag by taking it in the morning in a hurry before work without my daughter seeing me take it, I did not check the box, it has become so automatic... I blamed myself terribly, what a nightmare, the last switch PAROXETINE —> PROZAC had been so hard and horrible that I had gone back to square one… 1ST DECEMBER 2023 My condition is horrible, my brother-in-law’s father died suddenly, I put myself in his place , its loop in my head, I’m afraid, I cry, I transpose all the faces of my family on the body, I decide to go back to 20mg of PROZAC I have no other solution on hand.. The next day on December 2nd it is already better, i am quite surprised because the PROZAC has a very long half life.. 14 DECEMBER 2023 Debut of new unpleasant symptom random tingling sensation throughout the body, adrenaline discharge sensation with sudden tingling, I become very sensitive to the slightest sound , TV, light, it triggers me this weird symptoms 16 December 20233 I go from 20mg to 10mg of PROZAC to try to alleviate the new symptoms because for me the PROZAC does not suit me or the dose is not good, (for me the PROZAC was always something that did not suit me and made me feel weird) i don't know.. 2024 So actually, 2 months later, I am still at 10 mg of PROZAC, I decided to stabilize myself at this dose even if i am not feeling normal, cause as you can see there were a lot of changes in the dose of PROZAC. I still do not feel myself, always this feeling of DR of unreality of the world, depression, with moments where my face freezes without emotion… and loss/supression of my libido like I’ve never had. I don’t know what’s happening to me. According to my research on the forum and the article of Altostrata on PUBMED I explain what happened to me with the sudden arrival of a big anxiety and DP/ DR during the switch last year is that I was in the post withdrawal phase of PAROXETINE and that the sudden loss of libido would be PSSD ?, I am not yet very familiar with all these terms but I think I put my finger on the why of the how, tell me if I am wrong. My current dilemma: Is it better not to be dependent and not to take an antidepressant but to risk being bad and "look like sh*t" all my life with this depression, DP/DR or is it better to take an antidepressant (PAROXETINE) all my life but to feel good. I am currently thinking of 2 solutions because I want to get out of it, 1) Doing a gradual withdrawal of PROZAC knowing that I am stabilizing at 10mg, and try to live without antidepressant (I do not know what it is to live without this antidepressant I do not remember because I started it when I was 16) OR 2) Take the PAROXETINE back to 10mg and take it all my life, because it is very hard stopped with its very short half-life. In fact i think, i am not a specialist but its easier to stop a long half life antidepressant than a short half life one. I ask to you all, because my psychiatrist clearly told me that PAROXETINE was not possible that it was not a stable molecule and that if we had to change antidepressant we would go from PROZAC to SERTRALINE Please, I am very lost and look for any help, Thanks again for everyone who came this far Have an excellent day
  2. My introduction post for the forum.. short story I have been prescribed SSRIs since I was about 18/20 and now they are no longer helping me. The long story. I started on my antidepressant journey when I was around 18 or 20 years old (now 29), but I never recorded what brands I tried or the exact date of starting antidepressants. I sought out antidepressants as a way of dealing with depression and anxiety which emerged about a year or two prior. I attended counselling. Unsuccessful. This led me to the Dr and going on a mental health care plan to get bulk billed psychology and subsequently started taking SSRIs. I believe I tried Fluoxetine and the side effects scared me so much I needed to switch to something else. I ended up on Paroxetine as that gave less severe side effects. So going forward, Paroxetine was doing a good job of getting me 'functioning' as an adult. I got my first job at 20 years old, was getting over social anxiety and I generally started progressing enough to come out as Transgender and be treated for that as well. Unfortunately though some side effects of paroxetine never subsided, and as time went on I felt myself being affected by SADs every winter. This was combated with increased dosage of paroxetine. Since I am such a small human being, I didn't tolerate the increases well and it lead me to sleeping over 12-13 hours a day. I could barely wake up without falling back to sleep and was diagnosed with OSA. This is the paradox of Antidepressants. I ended up successfully reducing my dosages every spring and somehow I still managed to go to work, be a normie, save money.. Did the things I wanted to do. Then after around 8 or so years on Paroxetine, it finally pooped out. I had gone through some big life shifts not limited to moving house, having a sibling leave for overseas, and finishing up a uni degree after three years of somewhat stable routine (as much as you could get with covid). So I succumbed to a relapse in depression and since that time in 2021, my life has not been the same. Due to said intolerance of dosage increases, my doctor switched me to escitalopram. For about a month it improved my mood but then stopped working. Dosage increase. Same mood improvement then failure. New drug time! Venlafaxine. Oh boy! An SNRI! Started on a small dose then worked up to a bigger dose. Same thing.. Mood improved for a bit then dropped off and these stupid drugs aren't helping me! I was then referred to a psychiatrist. Convinced I have some sort of ADHD, because why else am I having all these problems and can't focus on a life path for myself? He said that he didn't believe I was ADHD.. That I am just affected by my anxiety which impacts decision making. He suggested back onto SSRIs since Paroxetine worked so well for me. So that lead to Sertraline.. The dreaded Zoloft. So right now, having been through the normal 'mood is good for a while' stage, time to go back into the familiar low mood phase. Okay. Dose increase. On to 75mg every other day. So now I am experiencing the wonderful side effects which I had forgotten about SSRIs while I was on Venlafaxine. They are: Stomach/gastroesophageal pain (is that an ulcer or GORD? No! It's just antidepressants!) Brain fog and being spaced out ie. Feeling like I'm one drink in without having consumed alcohol Diplopia Trouble waking up in the morning and/or waking up but feeling tired through the day Emotional blunting and anhedonia Mood swings Increased tinnitus No appetite at all And this is a new one: EXTREME ITCHINESS! (no it is not the dreaded drug rash, it is hives.. Wonderful itchy hives) So now with all this bullsh*t I have been through, I just really want a break from these meds. My life has scarcely moved on from where I was in 2021 when I relapsed. I am sick of the side effects and I'm sick of being on these bloody drugs. Obviously something deeper has affected me because I am no longer having success on antidepressants and the side effects are not encouraging me to stay on them. Well done if you read to the end! I have no reward for you. Or maybe the reward was the story we read along the way?
  3. Hello, first time poster here. Six months I wasn’t tapered properly off Sertraline after 6 years of use. I foolishly cut my dose from 100 milligrams to 50 without a taper and was then cross tapered to Venlafaxine about a week after the initial dosage cut. I was already experiencing severe withdrawal symptoms and had warned my doctor multiple times but she insisted on the taper to a different drug. After a few days of dropping from my dosage even further as ordered from my doctor and heavily dealing with withdrawal symptoms I started developing tingling and mild numbness in my feet which over the course of a week had taken over all my limbs. Long story short, I completed the tapering process and switched to Venlafaxine, but still 6 months in I’m going through multiple bouts of horrific neurological symptoms and my neuropathy symptoms have turned to debilitating full body burning, aching, severe pain. I now have an extreme heat intolerance, I sweat excessively even when I’m cold, I have full body tremors and jerk in my sleep, I run a fever across my entire body and feel like my CNS is completely fried. I have an appointment coming up to see a Neurologist to get testing done in case this isn’t anything to do with my medication history but I firmly believe my issues are linked to severe case of AD withdrawal syndrome. Or at least it’s morphed into severe protracted withdrawal. I have never reinstated my previous drug but I only realised when I was in tears the other night in severe pain that I’ve still got the medication on hand and was tempted to try reinstating. I don’t think I can fight this any longer and the big ‘S’ word has passed my mind quite a few times. I’m so scared I’ve completely fried my system due to my own negligence as well as my doctor completely screwing me over and if reinstating gets rid of these debilitating symptoms than I’ll do it, but I’m scared I’ll kindle and further damage myself. It is possible to be stuck in severe withdrawal syndrome whilst actively still medicating via an antidepressant? I was on Sertraline which is an SSRI class drug but now I’m on Venlafaxine which is still an antidepressant but under the class SNRI, I’ve never heard of anyone else going through this experience besides me, it’s always people who have removed the drug entirely. I need some help guys if possible, at least some insight that I can pass onto my neurologist in a couple of days… I’m dying here.
  4. I new to participating in the forum type sites so please forgive me if I’m doing this wrong. Anyway I started to have what I think is brain zaps a month and a half ago not really knowing what it was but from all the research I’ve done it’s the only thing that makes sense. I stopped taking paroxetine 40mg tablets and started taking fluoxetine 40mg. Wishing 2-3 days I started to notice this, it caused me to panic and spiraled from there. I stopped the fluoxetine and went back to the paroxetine and finally a couple weeks ago started to feel pretty good again. After talking to my doctor decided to try the fluoxetine again because I had been to my primary doctor, an ENT, and had an MRI done because we all thought the off balance feeling I would get was something else going on like some kinda inner ear problem. Anyway I tried it again because I was feeling the best I had felt in the last two months and wanted to fast track the feeling better process and get back to work and that was a horrible mistake. What I think are brain zaps came right back and that’s my biggest issue. It’s like if I try to do to much and I’m looking around and moving my head around eventually I will start feeling sick, my head will hurt and I’ve literally got to lay down and close my eyes. What I’m thinking are brain zaps is so hard for me to describe because I wouldn’t have said it felt like an electrical shock, the way I tried to describe it is if I turned my head or my eyes it was like my brain couldn’t keep up. I could trigger it by turning just my eyes from one side to the other, up and down didn’t seem to bother me. And it’s just a horrible feeling for to me that once it happens so much from me moving around trying to behave and do things I would normally do it feels like a bad motion sickness. Best thing I can compare it to because I’ve gotten motion sickness all my life. It’s really debilitated me and this being the 3rd different antidepressant I’ve been on since 2014, if this is what I’ve got to look foraward to is the medication stopping working and having to try a new one I’d rather figure out how to deal with my problems on my own. I’ve said for a long time now that my goal in life is to get off this medicine anyway. I’d really like to know if it’s brain zaps that I’m having as I haven’t stopped the medication as to just changed to a new one.
  5. I have been on 20 mg of Lexapro for about 20 years for Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I have had breakthrough anxiety several times during the period and recently it seems to have quit working. My doctor did a genetic test which showed that I was not a good match for Lexapro do to being an ultra rapid metabolizer of the drug. Two weeks ago he did a direct switch from the 20 mg of Lexapro to 40 mg of Prozac. Since the switch I have been getting progressively worst having extreme anxiety, feeling sick, and having trouble with concentration. Really unsure of what to do as the symptoms are pretty severe. Any suggestions on what to do to help with the symptoms, should I reinstate the Lexapro or continue going forward with Prozac. Thanks in advance
  6. I’m unsure on the right terminology because I’m not sure what I believe anymore so please bear with me. last year after ten years on citalopram I had a sudden relapse in depression and anxiety (you could say I pooped out but who knows). The relapse has crippled me and it’s immeasurably worse than the first time around. It’s consumed me and I feel like I’ve lost my identity. Through this period the doctor changed me to sertraline and again to venlafaxine. Both of which had zero effect. I wanted to look at exploring more naturalistic remedies (not sure how appropriate it is to discuss this on this format so I will leave that there- but happy to hear people’s stories and experiences of doing that) but I’ve had a really tough Fortnight and when I went back to the docs this week he wanted me to try mirtazipine. I have taken that for two nights but after a chat with my therapist this morning who’s very critical of medications and the role of seretonin in all this I’m questioning if it’s the right thing. It’s all so hard when you are extremely desperate and just want relief really interested to hear everyone’s views and experiences
  7. Posting on behalf of my partner who I am caring for through withdrawal and tapering. He is not in a good place to be on the internet much currently but we have questions and still need support, so I am posting for him (hope that's okay). Anytime I say "we", I am referring to my partner and I as we've discussed and strategized together. Longer-form version of his drug history: 2008-2012: Fluoxetine for 4 years during high school Doesn't remember exact dose but likely 10mg Had a really easy time discontinuing in 2012 when he wanted to stop taking it. Doesn't remember if he stopped cold turkey or did any kind of taper at the time 2016: Fluoxetine 20mg for a few months, around age 21 Remember it being easy to start without bad symptoms from updosing Was experiencing sexual side effects and stopped cold turkey Remembers it being "medium" difficult to stop. Mostly some increased depression for a period after stopping, but nothing close to what he is going through right now with citalopram 2018-2020: Began citalopram 20mg for depression and anxiety after difficult life events. Wanted to avoid fluoxetine due to sexual side effects Severe depression as side effect from updosing when originally starting. Remembers it being about a month of the worst depression he had ever felt up to that point, worse than the depression that led him to take it in the first place. Then was at 20mg for a few years after stabilizing Jan - Mar 2020: Was feeling happy, wanted to discontinue citalopram. Psychiatrist said the 20mg dose was so low that he could just stop cold turkey, but that he could do a few cut and holds if he wanted to be extra cautious. After cutting to 15mg, was feeling agitated for months Mar 2020 - Jul 2023: Decided to reinstate the 20mg citalopram and micro-taper Got liquid form of citalopram and tapered from 20mg -> 5mg over a few years, with some holds along the way Mar 2023: Began feeling regularly agitated. This was around the time of an injury and some other difficult life circumstances that challenged his mental health routine, so he thought maybe he needed a higher dose. Bumped up to citalopram 7mg all at once Jul 2023: Was still feeling regularly agitated. (In retrospect, we're pretty confident the agitation beginning in mar 2023 was poop-out) Bumped up to citalopram 10mg all at once This bump up was severely destabilizing. Began experiencing panic attacks, chest pain, and higher anxiety (had never had panic attacks or chest pain from anxiety before in his life, so these were brand new as a result of the updose). Started taking hydroxyzine 25mg or 12.5mg regularly as needed to manage the heightened anxiety, and propranolol 10mg or 5mg very occasionally as needed to prevent/manage panic attacks Determined the citalopram had probably been pooping out before bumping up. Made a plan with psychiatrist to switch to fluoxetine in the short-term to get off the citalopram, and then eventually taper off the fluoxetine since he had gentler reactions to fluoxetine in the past when starting & stopping Plan was to make the switch in January 2024 - this was due to some planned life events that made it inconvenient to switch sooner, and because the poop-out symptoms seemed somewhat manageable in the short term Around November-December, the poop-out symptoms were worsening again and we determined he needed to make the switch sooner Psychiatrist was concerned about serotonin syndrome and did not want him to take fluoxetine and citalopram simultaneously. Instead they wanted him to do a clean switch, taking 10mg citalopram one day and then fully switching over to 10mg fluoxetine the next day (with 0 citalopram from that point on) Dec 21 - 25 2023: Began the "clean switch" Began feeling some moderate withdrawal symptoms after a couple of days By Dec 25 the withdrawal became severe, both physically and mentally. During a peak wave of uncontrollable shivers, headache, nausea, chest pain, insomnia, severe anxiety and depression we decided to reinstate 2mg citalopram. Within an hour of reinstating the worst of the physical symptoms had significantly lessened - especially the shivers, headache, and nausea. The anxiety and depression also lessened. Dec 26 2023 - present: Have been taking 2mg citalopram (1mg morning and 1mg nighttime), 10mg fluoxetine Taking 25mg or 12.5mg hydroxyzine as needed, generally totaling about 37.5-75mg daily depending on the day Also taking 0.125-0.5mg lorazepam occasionally as needed, not every day. Has been about a few days per week. From Dec 26-Jan 2, it seemed like things were improving. We starting tracking FINISH a few times a day and he was doing better than he had been at the peak waves before we reinstated the citalopram. But since January, most of the withdrawal symptoms have plateaued. The physical symptoms have improved a lot: headache and nausea are almost nonexistant now, and dizziness has steadied at a low-medium level. But ever since those lessened, he has been having more insomnia, and constant and severe anxiety daily, accompanied with chest pain and stomach pain, and occasionally a more severe bout of panic. This has also begun being accompanied with increasing depression, often at the same time as waves of panic or severe anxiety. The depression is increasing day by day from the despair and exhaustion from the prolonged physical and mental pain with no improvement on any of the withdrawal over the last two weeks. For the first time in his life, this has brought on questions of his will to keep on trying during his worst waves. He is running out of steam and feeling very scared and demoralized. Our immediate goal: We want to try to get him stable on 2mg citalopram in the short-to-medium term (from there, we will begin a very slow micro-taper from the citalopram, but for now we are just struggling to stabilize). This is complicated by the fact that the citalopram has been pooping out since Mar 2023, which may also be contributing to the plateau in any improvement on the withdrawal symptoms. We're trying to use strategies other than drugs as much as we can. We are both taking medical leave. We're being strict about our bedtime routine, eating extremely healthy with tons of fruits and veggies daily and little-to-no processed foods, getting out for two walks outside daily, meditating 1-2 times daily, doing yoga at home, avoiding stressful or over-stimulating activities. We are visiting his family until things improve, for extra help with care and morale. These things are making a difference, but even with them we are in the current state. We don't want to increase the citalopram any more, (a) because he seems to have a severe kindling effect from any dose changes to citalopram and (b) because it's pooping out so updosing may not do much to help anyways, even in the short-term He would like to increase his fluoxetine dose to 20mg to help stabilize, provide some relief on the sooner side for the anxiety and depression, and hopefully continue to help with some symptom relief when he eventually tapers off of citalopram. We know that he's had a gentler reaction to fluoxetine starting & stopping in the past, which we feel makes it an okay strategy for him to use as an intermediate step. We're also hoping increasing the fluoxetine can allow us to eliminate the lorazepam sooner - although he isn't taking it daily, we know it is highly habit-forming and would like to remove it before anything else. But in his current state, it's the only thing that has been able to get him through his worst waves. Our primary question-area for now (we'll probably have more later): We're trying to figure out how to updose the fluoxetine, assuming that we do. What we're considering: All-at-once updose to 20mg pros: get it over with; less time spent going through any updosing effects after getting past updosing effects, will get to any relief it provides sooner cons: could be very destabilizing updose very slowly, basically a micro-increase pros: likely less destabilizing if it ends up providing some therapeutic effect at a dose lower than 20, he could stop there at a lower dose cons: if there are still some negative effects to updosing, those would be drawn out over a long period of time likely will take longer to get a therapeutic effect from the drug to get relief from the citalopram withdrawal/poop-out. in the meantime, his anxiety and depression is already severe and worsening day by day rather than improving middle ground?? target 20mg, but updose over a few weeks by 0.5mg/day or similar pros: maybe still less destabilizing than the all at once updose? still get to some therapeutic effect sooner than the micro-increase version cons: could still end up being destabilizing, and then just prolong the destabilized period Questions: In your experience, does kindling tend to be specific per drug, or have you tended to find that when somebody develops a kindling reaction to one drug, they also begin to have kindling reactions to other psychiatric drugs including those that they haven't had severe reactions to in the past? We have read the reinstatement advice which says that increasing a dose after reinstatement should be extremely cautious and slow due to the likely kindling effect. But are there any general patterns or learnings around how best to increase dosage of a medicine in general, when not referring to a drug that you're already hypersensitive to? Any other advice on stabilizing for his particular situation?
  8. The only way in the end that I could come off venlafaxine was to go on another drug. It has never occurred to me that I am experiencing, nearly a year later could be withdrawal. I assumed this was taken care of by the new drug. However my anxiety has never recovered and is very bad, even on escetalapram. Do I up the dose, try another drug, or is what I'm feeling a reaction to withdrawing from venlafaxine? I am wanting to taper off escetalaprin but feel very nervous as my experience with wd from venlafaxine was quite simply unbearable.
  9. 01/2019: I started taking 20mg Paroxetine. Very good reaction. 5 years, from 06/2019 until 01/2023: Brain zaps between daily doses. Weight gain 20kg 02/2023: Beginning of withdrawal. Reduction 2mg per month. Weaning 5 months ok down to 10mg. Weight loss 5kg. 07-9/2023: withdrawal 4-3-2-1ml Paroxetine liquid (1ml = 2mg) 10/2023 Insomnia, suicidal thoughts, weight loss 5kg. Paroxetine reinstatement: 2 ml (4mg) 11/2023 Insomnia, suicidal thoughts Paroxetine 2.5 ml (5mg) 11/2023 pharmacy dosing error: 2.5 ml (7.5 mg): 1ml = 3mg 1 week in very good health!!! After correction of dosage error, back to 2.5 ml (5mg). After 2 days: Insomnia, suicidal thoughts. 12/2023 Introduction Xanax retard (0.5 to 1mg daily). Introduction Sertraline 25-50-75 Paroxetine withdrawal in 4 weeks 2.5ml-2ml-1.5ml-0ml Today: Insomnia, suicidal thoughts. Even Xanax retard doesn't help. What to do? Reintroduce Paroxetine? Thank you for your help!
  10. Hey guys I’m not sure really how to post on this website. Not even sure if this is in the right place. I have been on many different medications in the past two years starting with lexapro on and off from ages 15-23. Never knew anything about withdrawal had no problem stopping anytime I literally just stopped and would get moody for a while and that’s it. All this changed about two years ago had been on for 7 months 20 mg and I took myself off 5mg at a time I don’t remember the gap in between each taper all hell broke loose. Ringing in my ears began then and hasn’t went away I experienced numerous other symptoms, panic attacks. I tried going back on and it didn’t work. I started feeling like I wasn’t real and so many other things so they prescribed me a different med but had bad side effects then another med, then another then another , then another 13 different meds have also retried lexapro 3 times in the course of all these med trials for 2 years. The most recent med was Prozac took it for 4 WEEKS helped my depression I was numb. I didn’t like the way it made me feel I always felt wired like extreme energy( not manic or hypomania) and I felt I had to be doing something my heart would be racing like I was literally on drugs and I developed neck and head jerks. I was only on 5mg mind you. So I’ve been off for 63 days for all of those 63 days plus a few days before (it wasn’t this bad before I completely stopped) I have been getting spasms & stiffness , and ALL OVER MY BODY . Head, face(the worst) , tongue, fingers , toes, chest,back , throat,legs. Before I go on I want to comment there was one day while taking the med my tongue felt funny for a hour but went away and never returned. Back to the spasms and stiffness I’m also getting these weird adrenaline rushes like agitation where I want to jump out of my body, body twitching (extreme) and periods where I feel like I can’t be still and I have to keep stretching my arms and legs & extreme panic & feeling unreal which I’ve been dealing with for a while now. So the doctors don’t know what’s going on I’ve been told it’s withdrawal, it’s tardive dyskinesia, it’s dystonia, its not related to the meds (bullsh*t) ,it’s serotonin syndrome, and last but not least “I don’t know”. My doctor gave me the meds for serotonin syndrome but she’s afraid that if it’s not the case and it’s withdrawal then the meds will make it worse . I have talked to my neurologist he’s at a lost for words im scheduled for an mri and have a referral to a movement disorder specialist. So my question is what do you think is this withdrawal?
  11. Hi all , I have heard about this site for awhile and have been struggling this past year with my prozac medication. I was originally prescribed it for very bad anxiety episodes after my mother's passing in 2015. Last year I had decided to come off completely but apparently went off way to quick. I reinstated my prozac soon as per my doctor but did not receive much relief, if at all . I was still experiencing what people refer to here as "windows and waves"..... I had really wanted to stick it out but after almost 8 months after reinstating I am not sure what to do. I am afraid of touching any other medication but at the same time these waves feel absolutely awful. A local support group I was attending had someone going through something similar and they had mentioned this site among a few others. I watched a documentary featuring the creator of this site and she seemed very knowledgeable about the subject and I had wanted to ask for some kind of take on my situation. Is this a common occurence to reinstate the drug but it having little to no effect? I'm really at a loss right now, any response would be greatly appreciated! I want to get through this for my cat and two beautiful nieces
  12. I was offered various prescriptions for antidepressants in my early 20's, but the side effects were terrible and nothing helped with the generalized anxiety and social anxiety I experienced. I took ativan on and off for 10 years, though there's been large stretches where I didn't take it all. I knew it wasn't good to taken ativan, but since I wasn't taking it every day, I presumed I was avoiding physical dependence. After taking time off work for children, I had recently returned and felt it worth trying medication one more time, to avoid taking ativan. I began Buspar March 2 - started at 2.5mg and titrated up to 45mg over 4 months, but at this dose I began having numbness in my legs, uncomfortable head rushes, and pins and needles everywhere. At the advice of my doctor, I tapered down over 2 months (until end of July) - although my doctor said I could taper even faster. Started on Wellbutrin Aug 2 and took it for 5 days and quit cold turkey, as per my doctor, due to side effects like Raynaud's and numbness to hands on waking, extreme head rushes and pins/needles. Lastly, started mirtazapine 7.5mg on August 18. Took for 7 days, but it caused panic attacks and I started having chest pains. I ended up titrating down for 7 days, although again, my doctor said I could just quit. So here I am about 1 month with no drugs. I had panic attacks almost every day for two weeks. I have pins/needles in my head in the evenings and I still wake with a part of my hand or fingers having gone numb. The panic attacks are difficult to control and I have chest tightness most days. On the days when I cannot get them under control with breathing and/or meditation, I take lorazepam. In the last two weeks, I am also having weird fluttering/vibrations across my chest when I sleep at night, causing me to have short bouts of anxiety and shortness of breath. The side effects have been so bad, I have not been able to work for the past month. So, as of this morning, I have just restarted buspar at 1.25mg to see if this helps to curb the side effects. I am hoping the reinstatement will not make things worse. But one of my questions is - Buspar has a relatively short half life - so should I be taking 1.25mg again this evening, or just waiting to take it in the morning again.
  13. Hi! I have searched a lot of information about getting out of Brintellix, because what happened to me seems to be impossible. I had Sepram for 19 years, then changed it to Valdoxan and Venlafaxin in December 2020. Quit Venlafaxin May 2021, it took 4 months for the symptoms to go away. Now I take Valdoxan 37,5 mg a day. I was prescribed Roaccutan medicine for acne and after 4 days, I just crashed mentally. It felt like someone close to me had died. I had unbelievable anxiety, something I had never felt before. The anxiety stopped immediately after 3 days when I stopped the drug. Before the symptoms were gone, my doctor thought that it would be good to change Valdoxan to Brintellix, because of my terrible anxiety (which was caused by Roaccutan, but didn't realize at this point). I would have done anything for it to stop, because it was literally unbearable, so I really wanted Brintellix to get some help. I started to take Brintellix 10mg immediately and after 3 days of taking the pill, I woke up early in the morning and thought I would suffocate to the anxiety. For days, I couldn't eat at all, and without Opamox couldn't function at all. I stopped Brintellix immediately and after 5-6 days, I started to feel a little bit better. Now as the days pass (now it's day 8), I am feeling worse and worse every day. The anxiety is starting again first thing in the morning and it's unbearable till I go to sleep. I have stopped eating again. I can't fall a sleep and it's difficult even with melatonin. I often start shaking in the middle of the day. My heart is beating like crazy all the time. I can't believe that after 3 pills, I am facing this. I am really afraid that this anxiety is never going to stop. It is really crushing me. I have kids to look after and I can't be off work all the time. Is there anyone else who has symptoms getting worse after they got easier or does anyone have symptoms though using a drug for just a few days? Thank you!
  14. I was given amitriptyline for severe insomnia and fluoxetine for cognitive function 30 years ago, after 6 months bedridden with Epstein Barr/Chronic Fatigue. Both were very successful, and I was able to return to work and later retire. I stopped amitriptyline a few years ago, no longer needed. Kept taking fluoxetine, which may not have been needed anymore. Fluoxetine "pooped out" early this year and I became very apathetic and anhedonic. I was put on 75 mg Effexor mid-April, without any washout period for the fluoxetine - neither I nor, apparently, my doctor, knew any better. It was very good at mood and energy improvement, but I had fairly bad physical side effects, and asked for lower dose. 37.5 mg still caused bad side effects. Like a fool, I stopped cold turkey one month ago. I knew I should count beads and taper, but simply could not force myself to put one more mg of this stuff into my body. Now I am paying the piper, and paying a lot. I found this site a few weeks ago, and have been looking for others who have severe physical WD symptoms. I may be lucky in that I have no emotional or cognitive symptoms, or unlucky in that I seem to have all of the physical ones. First 3 days off, my feet and calves swelled up like water balloons, along with neck and shoulder pain 24/7, which is still ongoing, but better. Muscle spasms in thigh muscles that made me actually scream one night during first week off. Chest tightness (muscle spasm?) that almost sent me to the ER several times. Shortness of breath has not gotten better so far, and insomnia is very severe. I feel terrible in the morning and all day until around 5 PM, then I seem to have a surge of wakefulness that lasts until 1 or 2 AM. Fatigue will not let up. I can't reinstate Effexor, as the side effects while taking it were much the same as WD, only less severe.
  15. Hi Everyone, I'm new here so thought I'd introduce myself. I've been on the mental health journey since 2007, offically diagnosed with Major Depression. I've never really had any formal triggers that get me down and naturally the symptoms of depression I battle with are usually more physical, but can be thought related too (tired, poor memory, poor concentration, can't be bothered with anything, guilt etc.). I was started on Lexapro in 2011 at 10mg and then increased a few months later to 20mg, I don't remember building up gradually or any side effects of the bump up in dose. In 2014 I checked myself into hospital and was commenced on Pristiq 25mg. I remember tapering off Lexapro over a weekend and starting Prisitq on the monday. While in hospital, for 6/7 weeks I was gradually brought up to 200mg Pristiq, as well as being started on lithium (450mg then 900mg) and Euthyrox (100mcg) to help speed up metabolism and body processes. Once discharged my meds were still tweaked to 300mg Pristiq (+900 lithium, 100 euthyrox) and I have been on them from mid 2014 until recently August 2016. I'm now going to be changing from Pristiq to Effexor. Initial plan is taper 300mg --> 200mg Pristiq over the weekend then commence 300mg Effexor next week. So far I'm just experiencing low grade headache (not going away with sleep, water or paracetamol), lethargy and fuzzy vision. In the past when having accidentally missed a dose of meds or run out, I've experienced headaches, nausea, lethargy, poor vision, need to keep moving (??), electric shock type feelings under my skin and in my brain. I usually just try to sleep until its over or can get some meds. I wonder if anyone else has changed from Pristiq--> Effexor and what worked from them in regards to the swap and limiting withdrawal/new drug ill feelings? Look forward to getting to know some of you
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