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Hi, new to this, I've never really felt like opening up about my issues before, but this is too important to me. First off, I have a amazing family, lovely wife, 3 kids, nice home, 2 cats , which I love to bits. My wife has always struggled with herself from issues from her past and has been on antidepressants for years and coped with it well, with me helping her for the last 16 years. I'm a type 1 diabetic who has struggled with looking after myself, really accepting it's real, even after many years. 3 years ago I lost my grandad and took it hard, deeper than I thought I would, then my nan passed away a year later, then my last grandparent left us. I was a mess. my wife helped my get help from the gp which was hard opening up about it all, who then put me on 30 mg citalopram, and it did help, stopped me feeling the pain. Well feeling any thing really, untill a month ago when my wife had a go at me about how I was being, i needed to come off them, I didn't care about me, causing mood swings which my amazing wife took the brunt of, didn't care about work, the kids any thing, stuff just came routine. My wife could have dropped dead and I think I would have struggled it off and Carried on, I came off them a month and a half ago and only really feeling myself again in the last few weeks, after starting to really look after myself, and realising what I've been like, neglecting my wife kids the lot, I haven't been close to any of them, especially my wife who I adored with every once of my being before all this. My wife has been distant the last few months, and I can understand why with my being a moody stranger really, last week she said she wants a divorce after christmas is over and she doesnt feel any thing for me any more, I dont think I would have cared before but with all these feeling coming back to the surface it has broken me, shattered my world that was coming back into view. I now know I've been a bad husband through all this, and I cant appologise enough for it. I've tried telling her how I felt, how I feel now, how i felt trapped in myself and how sorry i am for putting her through it all. But to no avail, it doesnt matter any more, she feels like her love has faded away. 8 months ago her doctor changed her antidepressants to the same ones I was on, citalopram, which she takes along side another one to control a jaw misalignment issue, which she did with the previous antidepressants. What I'm terrified of is, if after coming off those tablets I realised what was going on with my feelings, are her feelings real or are the citalopram doing to her what the did to me, and they are taking it all away and she doeant know it. I dont know what to do for the best Accept my fait or punishment, or try to talk about my fears about the tablets, possibly see a doctor together to change them and see how she feels, if she will. All I know is these citalopram tablets are evil , and I wish I had researched them before I accepted them, and I dont want my wife taking them any more after how they made me feel, without even knowing it. Ian Sorry for the ramble, it's hard to write down
MarriageKilledByZoloft posted a topic in Relationships and social lifeHi, I'm recently divorced. My ex wife used to be a very solid, hones, intelligent and honorable woman who paid attention to detail and had high levels of empathy. She has been taking Zoloft and Ambien and I think before Zoloft she took Prozac. This has been going on for 3 or 4 years. At 48 years old when menopause began, she suddenly started dating another man. She began lying and deceiving me about their meeting. 3 months after meeting him, she filed for divorce and moved out and committed adultery with this other man. I'm sure all this sounds normal for a bad person but here comes the part that makes no sense. In the 4 months it took the divorce to run through the court system, about every other week, she proactively talked to me about ending the adulterous affair and coming back to me. About 5 weeks AFTER she filed for divorce, she offered to be intimate with me, which I accepted. 2 days after being intimate with me, she was intimate with the other man. She took this man out into public as an adulterous partner with our common friends and showed no shame. She had no shame for constantly lying to me and deceiving me about things. She had no shame about being introduced to this man's sons as a girlfriend even though she was still married. NONE of this is the woman I married. 4 days before the divorce finalized she told me she was strongly thinking about getting saved (with Jesus), cutting off the affair, stopping the divorce and coming back to her family (we have a 5 year old daughter). However, she let the divorce finalize and she cried for 20 minutes in the courtroom. The day after the divorce finalized, she came to my house and started talking about us getting back together. (YES THE DAY AFTER). A couple weeks later, she said she would start "tapering things off" with her boyfriend and come back home to work on our marriage (I told her I would forgive adultery and everything). She said it would take 3 weeks to taper it off. At the end of 3 weeks, she had penned an "it's over" letter to the boyfriend but never sent it to him. All through this process, I noticed she was much less attentive to our daughter and very unempathetic toward the pain I was going through and the negative effects of the separation on our daughter and all the financial damage that was caused, even to herself. She ended up MUCH poorer after the property settlement than she was when we were married. But, she didn't seem to care. After the divorce finalized, her health insurance expired and she just left it that way (Definitely not her), she kept her apartment a mess, she didn't work, she would dump our daughter off with me so that she could go off for a weekend with her boyfriend and not even call to see how our daughter was doing. Again, not her. I think the Zoloft is the root cause of her reduction in empathy, and increase in apathy and confusion about life in general. But, I'm having a hard time google searching for current information, 2015 and later, on how Zoloft and other SSRI's can cause divorce and families to break up. Can someone please point me to some medical studies on this topic? I would like to fix her and try to put our family back together if I can just find some information to show her to get her into a medical professional that specializes in SSRI's and antidepressants. Thanks!
shouldIwait posted a topic in Relationships and social lifeHello, Have your wife or husband after stopping the SSRI, regreted decisions such as divorce and come back for a second chance? If so, how long did it take him or her to ask for it, or what triggered them to reconsider their decisions? Thank you for your time, my heart is acking as I have break up with the love of my life due to a stupid two month course of fluoxetine.
Hi everyone, My husband, the love of my life, has been on SSRIs since he was 15. Last year at age 35 he told me he no longer loved me, hadn't for some time, and left me within weeks of the birth of our third baby. It has been agony. I've been researching this phenomenon for the last year and can see so CLEARLY the ways he became more and more emotionally disabled the longer he stayed on the meds. He became a TOTALLY different person spring 2016 when his dose of Lexapro was doubled from 10 to 20 mg. - hypomanic, cold, hostile. By the GRACE OF GOD he has reduced down to 5 mg, though too quickly. His personality is beginning to surface, the windows getting bigger, but the ability to feel his bond towards me remains asleep. I await the man I married to return to himself. For this uncaring thing he has become to wither and die. He has lived with such distortions for so long . . . my hurt and frustration and sometimes anger over his apathy, loss of affection, lack of participation in our LIFE has been viewed by him as unreasonable, overly emotional, bullying, controlling . . . Thanks to the resources on these forums I have understood it was not HIM doing this, and have facilitated him being as involved in our home, with our children, as much as he'll allow. He never bailed on the kids, though he has complete apathy for the pain he's caused them. I would LOVE to hear stories of people, both spouses who were left and the drugged spouse who did the leaving, coming home to one another. What was the process like? How long did it take for the fog to lift and those romantic feelings to become accessible again? Was it like one morning you were back, or was it a more gradual process? I've read lots of stories like this, but would love to have MORE. I crave uplifting stories to help me as I wait. God has told me every day to have hope, and my love only grows stronger as the memories of past hurts from his apathy heal with the compassion I gain knowing what I now know about these terrible drugs. Thanks in advance for all that is shared.