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  1. Hi, I was in PaxilProgress and most people from there came here, so I decided to join. I am scared because after 6 months from my last panic attack I had another one today, totally out of the blue. The only factor with the previous incidents is that I had food poisoning. I had to take a Xanax to calm down but I vomited after 30 minutes. I feel effects though. I am scared that I will relapse and get as bad as I was in 2012. I had rebuilt my life, I got a job, I got another job because I was suffering from mobbing on the first job, and I will start my new job soon, I can't relapse and ruin my chance, I need this job. I can't be on bed for a whole month. I am really scared of ending up taking a bunch of pills to function. I need help and reassurance. I have no family I can count on, my mom is dead, so in my grandma, and my dad doesn't speak to me because he has another family. Sorry if I am writing with typos I feel very sleepy and drowsy. I don't know what to do, I can feel the anxiety in my chest, I can feel that it can't grow due to the Xanax, I am scared that tomorrow I will have to take more Xanax and become dependent of it to function. Please help me, I am scared and I thought this part of my life was gone, but now it had come back.
  2. Hello everyone. I'm happy that I found your website. I thought my life is ruined, but I read success recovery stories and I have a hope now. I was crying for about 20 minutes while I was reading. I don't know If I should tell you the whole story, cause it's a very very sad story. But for me the most important thing is to get answers to my questions. the brief story: I used some drugs for about one year: esctasy, some cocaine, LSD (twice only) and weed. After I stopped taking drugs health problems started: heavy hallucinations, voices, heavy paranoia, uncontrolled rage attacks and more. I got arrested for running naked in a street with a baseball bat and they put me into psiciatric hospital for 2 weeks and put on zyprexa. I hated zyprexa and I stopped taking it after 2 weeks. I was going to doctors and psycologists for some time and they gave me a little help. After 2 years I got fully recovered. But my best friend commited a suicide and I was very depressed, friends told me to smoke some weed , they said I will forget it for some time and will feel better. They gave me strong holland weed (white I think) I smoked it, just a little bit, and instantly went crazy. crazy For real, seriosly crazy. ( damn Im crying again ) I wont tell you all the horror I passed, dont think its so important. I was sick for two weeks, couldnt sleep and eat, when I couldnt handle all that hallucinations no more I did a horrible thing. the worst thing the person can do (omg Im crying again, cant see what Im typing) I got arrested and they put me in jail. At the begginnig I refused to take medicines, cause I thought they want to kill me. After 17 days without sleeping and heavy hallucinations I gave up and started to take medicines. They started with zyprexa, it wasnt helping at all, so they passed on Risperdal 3 times a day 3ml (9ml a day total) and zoloft 1 pill a day dont remember dosage. After 1 year after all investigations judge and medics transfered me into psychiatric hospital, the bad one. they added me Depakin also, but I was spitting it, cause the pill was too big and I just didnt like it, and doctor cancelled it. Oh I forgot I was also taking Tavor all this time to sleep. Doctor cancelled it also. Problems with memory started, and I got fat +20 kilograms, I wasnt producing sperm, I was very lazy, sometimes had no energy to take a shower. After one year in that bad hospital they transfered me to a good one, to elite hospital. And things changed. I started diet, start exercize ( Im an athlete by the way) started playing table tennis, basketball, reading a lot watching music clips on tv, dancing. After some time they took away Risperdal and put me on Abilify 15 mg in the morning and 15 in the evening. The same day they cancelled Risperdal my sperm production became ok, and erection also. I was very good, got build insane body in the gym in about 1,5 year, was very active. but noticed that I have some problems in thinking, They where making me IQ tests, IQ was pretty high 136 when I came into tht good hospital, and about 148-150 before I left it (it was different result on different tests) on 1 test there was 60 questions I gave all right answers, no mistakes. Im smart but I became like a computer. No emotions. I was laughing a lot, and understanding jokes, and having fun, but had problems with pleasures and visual thinking. As soon as I got out I stopped taking medicines (doctors where saying I have to take it all my life to avoid getting crazy one day) Its already 4 month Im without medicines. first month was bad, I vas very sad, had no emotions at all. I was the robot, zombie, without personality, just a computer who just think. I found a girlfriend and she helps me a lot, now 4 month later I feel lil bit better, but still have problems and questions. Please answer me guys. Thanks a lot. 1. how long ussualy takes full recovery after 4,5 years of antipsychotics? when I will start to feel pleasure, emotions? 2. doctors said that Its not recommended to have a baby for minimum 2years after I stop taking medicines, is that true? Will my child be healthy? 3. I was meditating when I was free, and I't was helping me lot, I was feeling myself very good. The same day I started with medicins I could do it no more. I thought I will be able to do it when Im done with medicines, but I totaly cant. I feel nothing, can't meditate no more. I thing the problem is ruined dophamin receptors or some brain damage. If you have same problem please tell me. 4. Alcohol makes no effect on me no more, even If I drink a lot. I feed my head and face heavy, but thats it. No happiness, euphoria, nothing. I dont drink , just tried on a New Year and birthday. But this seems very strange to me. 5 When I drink coffe or take caffein for training it makes me feel like on cocaine for about 12 hours, very strong, Im shaking, sweating and get extremly exited. 6. When I play videogame (Dota 2) I get very exited too, and have unvoulantary face and tounge movements. It looks very very bad from a side. I heard this side effect will not pass, that its forever, is that true? Also after I play some games, and get very exited I recover after it about half a day. I feel like on ocaine too. My brain is like frozen, no emotions at all. Thats it. I do a lot of sport, read a lot. eat very good, take vitamins, aminoacids. So will I fully recover someday? Will I get my emotions back? By the way I cried couple times, last time is now, and was feeling much better after it. I feel my brain working and I feel some emotions. But it happened only 2 times for now. Im also in contact with a lot of friends from hospital, so you will help them too anwering my question. Thank's a lot guys. And good luck to recover if you have same situation.
  3. Hello warriors I am from Czech republic, so i am sorry for my English. And this is my story - I took the antidepressants for 10 year from 14 years.My diagnosis was Anxiety Disorder, Social Phobia,Panic Disorder everything tied to family terms. And now I am 3 months without them and it is very hard to me...but I am fighting and I don 't want give up. But every day is situation worst. It is possible that the side effects of discontinue medicaments show until now?? I ' m in intolerable condition. My best friend is bed now. It is terrible. Flushes of anxiety,irritation, hammering, inability do anything. I have fear that be worst...and i dissapoint myself I wish I had the certainty that eveything be ok when I endure this. How can I help?? Have you got any experience with DLPA?? Or anything else natural antidepressants?? Thank you for you're all opinions.
  4. Hello there I am new to this site and came across some really HELPFUL things and hopefully you guys can help me out with some things. My wife has bipolar II and has been on her cocktail of medicine for about 16 years now. She decided she wants to taper off her medicine and we started with the anti-depressant first which is is her Prozac. She was taking 20 mg of Prozac so we reduced her to 10 mg of Prozac.....HORRIBLE IDEA.. after 5 days of dosing her down to the 10 mg of Prozac she became so irritable, and angry .. like I've never seen before. It is now day 3 of her feeling this way and I'm at a loss... Not sure if i should throw her back on the 20 mg or see if she can ride this out??? I read on here to micro taper off medicine if she cant handle the 10% rule.. Any suggestions? Any help? Any words of wisdom here? She's feeling pretty hopeless but I keep cheering her on since I know this process is going to take a long time and I know she is capable of doing it.
  5. hey everyone. so i'm in need of help. lets start from January 2014. I started Prozac 20 mg. I stayed on this until the end of June 2014, taking 1 a day. Then i switched to Celexa 20 mg once a day. I've been taking this and still am on this dosage. As you can see I've been on an antidepressant for 9 months straight with no breaks. With Celexa I've been having weird drug interactions. If I take benadryl I start feeling tingly and feel like I'm on fire. So i stopped taking benadryl. I"m also prescribed adderall 10 mg as needed. If i take adderall I start feeling like im on fire as well. So i stopped taking adderall. Then a couple days ago i went to walmart and bought some whey protein pre-workout mix because i'm trying to lose the weight celexa has inevitably put on. I drank the preworkout shake for the first time... and I started feeling like i was on fire... like i couldn't breath. It seems like everything triggers an interaction. I want to GET OFF antidepressants. I missed a dose of celexa and the next morning i woke up at 6 a.m. with tingling and weird temperature highs and lows, cold sweats and I was in so much physical pain that i was in tears, my head was killing me and i didnt feel normal. I felt zoned out, felt like i had the flu and felt scarily lethargic. The tingling and temperature highs and lows also existed. My eyes would dilate when i would get hot for some reason and then the feeling would go away... then come back. i went to the doctor because i just felt so out of place. i ended up taking my celexa and still felt sick and weary. my blood pressure was fine. my temp was normal. but i was so hot i went to take a bath and the coldest water felt warm to me... scary. and so the doctor said that i needed to wean off the celexa. he said to just stop taking it because i'd only been on it for 3 months. but keep in mind i was on prozac then switched to celexa. a total of 9 months of ssri use. i asked him what if i started withdrawing to which he replied to taper off the celexa. he wants me to cut my dosage in half today. i'm so tired of the side effects of celexa but the withdrawal is real. its making me allergic to everything! and i never knew how hard it would be to get off of until i experienced such terrible withdrawals. any comments or advice would be appreciated greatly. thank you for reading.
  6. Hi, i don't know were to start. first of all,my main language isn't english so i may be a bit awkward with words but i honestly don't know who to ask help. i've been on lamotrigine and risperidone for two months one of them was really...bad i'm being careful with the word choice ,i know most of you have gone through hell.well, the most terrible days weren't that mch in number but were followed by a really weird and unconfortable sensation on the chest ,i couldn't enjoy anything and was anxious,now i'm pretty stable,or rather the same as before the meds because i don't see any difference i get irritable and depressed the same way but now i'm trying to get off these meds since i've read so many things. i was put on these because my psychiatric doctor thought i was "on the bipolar spectrum" i'veb een diagnosed with depression before i was actually 2 years of my teen years holled up in my room and developed some social anxiety and was kind of desintetized i also felt all the time sleepy,tired and with fuzzy head ,like my front lobe was asleep. i was getting better now,since last year .this year was pretty good,i started college and it was kind of hard to fit in but it was good,really i hadn't been that good since years ago, but i thought i could be better and wanted to be more "normal" like my college clsasmates i really wanted to be able to get excited over the things they did,enjoy things more,their jokes,remember the words i wanted to say,not feel tired all the time,etc so i went to the medical service on my college and saw a psychologist ,i was really honest and talked about my passive suicidal thoghts i told her i knew i wasnt to act on them thought since i have pretty good control over myself since young ,still she send me to the psychiatrist i told her i was ok with meds,because i was pretty naive i guess but then two weeks on the meds i started to feel even worse than before (i actually was having troubles and i guess i overreact to everything and get violent and cry a lot so this event on my life felt way more terrible that it was and i was thinking on dropping out ,etc) but on meds i felt terrible and realized how ok i was doing ,i was really getting better without the help of any meds,now i realize that.i started to look up why i was feeling so terrible,the headaches and the not-so pasive suicidal thoughts every 5 minutes ,i almost acted upon them ,and the fact i coudn't stop crying for a week i found out a lot of things about meds and how they make people ill. i'm really scared right now i feel like it would be better if i stop now because i feel i would end up stopping anyway ,i know myself i will e obsessing over everything i've read on meds.but i don't know how to do it,my doctor has told me to stop worrying that i should trust him and if i really want to tapper that i do it in three weeks 50% tapper and i would be ok and i shoudn't belive internet folks he also told me to take the risperidone on altenated days since i was taking such a low dose (0.5) i tappered from 1mg succesfully before,i don't know what should i do he is the only person i can count on since i don't have money to go to another doctor (this one is free) he told me to come back in month because he couldn't help me if i wasnt gonna follow what the told me, i went yesterday again to ask for the other med i'm on since he only gave instructions of how to tapper one of them and he told me to stop worrying again,that i wasn't gonna have any kind of bad reaction like i've read.i really wanted to trust him but i'm sort of decided to start tappering off i just need someone to guide me ,i'm pretty ignorant and scared ,i want to be able to go to college next year again and be able to help my family in the future ,i don't want to end up having such a terrible withdrawal that will affect my cognitive functions so much (like they affected me when i was getting on the meds) i know my situation is not bad and i'm sorry if i am coming to the wrong place but i need to understand what i'm going to do before doing it because i don't want to regret it. right now i'm at 75mg of lamotrigine(because i was feeling terrible and told my doctor i didnt want to up my dose yet ...i stil haven't because i planned to get off meds some weeks ago ) and 0.5 of risperidone (i was on 1mg before) i've been on them for a moth ,if anyone can please help me on how i can do this and why,about the meds interactions and the tapper of such a low dose like risperidone,wich should i do first? i'm sorry i ask so many things but i'm pretty ignorant and i sometimes don't understand everything since my english isn't that good(understanding) that,if i need to write anything please tell me. i hope you are all doing better,i wish you the best on journey to recovery,really.
  7. Hi everyone, I'm new to the forum, this is my first post but I happened upon this place while googling brain zap cures and thought I might be able to get some help here. I'd been on 10mg escitalopram (Lexapro) daily since september and quit cold turkey approximately 10 days ago. I do realise it was stupid of me not to taper but I'd just undergone a really traumatic event that completely killed by ability to care about myself and I just wanted those meds out of my system and now I've gotten this far already there's just no way I'm getting back on them. Anyway, since then it's been unending nausea, fever, flu-like symptoms, insomnia, one seizure which landed me in hospital but most of all these brain zaps and what I'm calling 'body zaps' because they feel the same, except all over my body and they happen pretty much every 10 seconds. They're just killing me. Every time I get one I also get a vague auditory hallucination and my vision gets a bit weird as well. I've noticed this happens especially when I'm trying to sleep and when I first get up in the mornings. At the hospital they gave me low-dose Seroquel to help with sleep but they didn't give me a prescription so I've got nothing now. I've been to a couple doctors, all of whom keep denying there's even such a thing as SSRI withdrawals...so frustrating. So I figured this place is probably where I can find the most help when it comes to dealing with such symptoms on your own: I'm especially looking for help regarding those electric shock sensations...anyone found anything that helps? Also, does anyone have any clue how long these WDs last?! I'm finding testimonies speaking of months and it's scaring me a little... Thanks very much.
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