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  1. Hello everyone, hope you are all hanging in there! Welcome to my story. I have included the basics within my signature and will expand where needed. I have only recently found this site, it seems it's going to be somewhere I'll be spending a lot of my time in the near future. Benzodiazepines I've dealt with the nightmares of Benzo withdrawal many times, panic attacks, heart palpitations and the endless list of ailments that come with it. My history of Benzo's began two years ago and I've tried many times to withdraw and remain withdrawn. I recently went my longest time ever (70 days) and was feeling better and better every week. I knew protracted withdrawal symptoms were bound to come in waves, but I kept telling myself I was over the worst. Then began the breakdown.... Mirtazapine My only other medication was good ole Mirtazapine (Remeron). I have also been on that for the same length of time but dosages, where somewhat, consistent when compared to my benzo usage. I had been on various dosages of Mirtazapine, over the two years I think I was always wanting to come of it but knew it was definitely having a positive effect on my sleep. I just had the mindset of not wanting to be dependent on any meds, due to my experience with benzo's. The Breakdown - INSOMNIAC I was 70 days clear from benzos, I felt immensely proud and positive about the future. Sometime during these 70 days, I began to lower my dose of Mirtazapine (30mg) to 22.5mg and then two/three weeks later I went down to 15mg. The week I was on 15mg I was just not feeling right, felt like flu-like symptoms, but mostly a heavy chest and overall lethargic feeling. I remember that I woke up a couple hours before my alarm one morning, something I've never done in the past. So I said to myself, "I'm going to go back up to 30mg and I bet this felling goes away". I took 30mg and the next day the symptoms had cleared up a lot, but then came that nightime...I couldn't fall asleep. I'd took 30mg for the second nigh but was not falling asleep. This had never happened before. As the hours went by, I became more panicked and more tired, which is disastrous when in benzo recovery. My heart was flopping every 15 seconds, so I took 6mg Diazepam and calmed. I still couldn't sleep though. Went to the doctors, void of sleep, and they gave me 7.5mg of Zopiclone. It put me to sleep for about 3 hours only. I visited the doctors non-stop over 5 days due to the insomnia and was prescribed Amiltriptiline (10mg), Hydroxyzine (25mg), Zopiclone (7.5mg), Propranolol (10mg) and Diazepam (10mg) - all in the space of a week. At one point I went three days without sleep and was exhausted and delirious. The doctors said to me, "if you can't sleep then take all the meds you've been prescribed". NONE OF THOSE MEDS MADE A DIFFERENCE. Zopiclone worked early on for a few hours sleep but during my three days awake, I was taking them all at different intervals and would remain wide awake. I am currently on 30mg Mirtazapine a night and 10mg Diazepam but I literally feel like I am not asleep. Ten hours will go by and I feel like I've been conscious the whole time, My girlfriend said I was snoring at one point though. I mentioned my reduction of Mirtazapine leading up to episode and he has put me up to 45mg, a dosage I was rarely on during my use of Mirtazapine. I've done a lot of internet searching and have diagnosed my self with a thousand different things. During this time I found out about all the horror stories on withdrawing from Mirtazapine. I realise now that I should not have been withdrawing from Mirtazapine until benzo's were long in the past, but I still feel like I don't know the cause. I've been asking questions like: -Could this be anything not related to Diazepam withdrawal or Mirtazapine withdrawal? -Could Mirtzapine have stopped working? -Was the insomnia a protracted withdrawal from Benzo's? - i thought less of this one after realizing that reinstating Benzo's never helped with the sleep at all. They've simply kept my anxiety symptoms at bay. It has been two weeks since I got back on 30mg of Mirtazapine and sleep is still the same. I worry the most because without sleep, I will be in a constant panic mode and stopping Benzo's this time would seem impossible. Sleep was the one thing that got me through the withdrawal of Benzo's. Thanks for anyone who read the above, seems like a lot of really genuine and helpful people on this board. I REALLY appreciate any thoughts and input.
  2. I quit Lexapro and 3 weeks later i simply stopped sleeping. It has been 4 months now and I have insomnia every day unless i take benzos. I have tried trazodone, zolpidem, CBTI and lithium. nothing works and i am getting more and more suicidal. i litterally have to stay on benzos otherwise i will be consumed by obcessive thoughts of death. I cannot go on like this any longer. Has anyone ever had this experience? will it ever stop?
  3. On December 21, 2017, my father and I went to psychiatrist because my brain cant stop from thinking and I cant sleep that much. I was diagnosed having Adjustment Disorder with mixed Anxiety and Depressed Mood. The doctor gave Risperidone. He said I need it to relax my mind and to help me to sleep. Taking it for 1 month, I experienced that I cant breathe through my nose, numbness in my thumb, some tingling in my hands, and got my eyes darken. I really dont know that these were side effects. Im so out of hope now, because i feel so regretful taking Risperidone (meds) for 2months and 1 week. I was on 1mg of it for 1month and then when i told my doctor that I cant sleep he increased it to 2mg (i took 2mg of it for 3wks) then i tried to taper it down to 1mg for i think almost a week. But theres one night came I cant sleep and cant breathe so, I quickly stop taking the Risperidone. Also, my father and I told about my situation to the doctor but it seems like he has no care :(. He said that I can stop the meds if i want to. If only I knew that the doctor is like that I never went to a psychiatrist These are what I feel. I cant sleep normally. I cant be myself. I used to be the one opening up a conversation and sharing stories but now i dont feel like to. Most painful of all is that... I cant feel. I cant feel the emotions. I feel like numb. I cant do my passion-music and arts. I love singing, dancing, and acting. I cant feel the emotions when im watching or when people are talking. I cant also feel the empathy and sympathy. I used to be an expressive and a happy person. I cant feel i am myself. Its been 1 month and 2 days off of it. I experienced little numbness in my left arm. I told it to my mother then she massaged it. The numbness gone after that. I think there's an improvement in my sleep. Sometimes I can sleep but I dont know if I really sleep. I regret that I did not continue reading about Risperidone before taking it I dont know how to live like this. Im hoping that my brain (all in it) will heal and repair itself.
  4. Hi Ive suffered from depression in the past and have been on various antidepressants, been admitted to hospital and had ECT...this was all in the early 90s. In the intervening years I have suffered depression on and off and was happy to take Fluoxetine 20mg, I'm not sure if the Fluoxetine kept the depression at bay or I would have been OK without it, but as I was feeling well I kept taking the Fluoxetine as a prophylactic. During this period I went cold turkey several times for various reasons...I suffered absolutely no withdrawal symptoms at any time...I consider myself very lucky. Ive only just discovered the danger of CT via this website and others. So far so good, but in 2015 I was diagnosed with cancer and endured gruelling chemo and radiotherapy and was given the all clear in April 2016...one line of text...so much pain! After the treatment finished I began to suffer from depression again, a kind of post trauma effect, my doctor recommenced increasing my Fluoxetine to 40mg, which I agreed to. This didnt really make much difference...my doctor then suggested switching to Sertraline 50mg, I agreed and started a very steep tapering to come off the Fluoxetine (one month)...I did actually feel quite well at the end of the taper and did not start taking the Sertraline. However some months later in December 2016 the anxiety and depression became so severe I OKed it with my doctor to start the Sertraline. I took the first tablet and in a very short time I experienced some terrible side effects, dizziness, headache, confusion and a level of anxiety I did not believe was possible, I went to bed for the rest of the day. I knew it would take a while of the side effects to settle, so took the second tablet the next day, again the same effects plus the start of the sexual side effects. I took one more tablet the next day and decided enough was enough and stopped taking the Sertraline…(Just 3 doses!) I assumed the side effects would subside soon after stopping…how wrong I was! Its been 7 months and the effects below are still with me: Tinnitus Cognitive and memory problems Insomnia...1.5 sleep per night PSSD, no libido, poor and difficult to achieve erections, reduced semen volume and a kind of emotional disconnect with the opposite sex. One effect which did remit was the sensation of looking down on myself from above...a very disturbing experience. So here I am in a bit of a mess. I wonder what the best way forward is? I seem to be very sensitive to any drugs or supplements...Ginkgo Biloba and Maca root caused havoc after one dose! Ive tried Acupuncture and Homoeopathy with some limited success...at least nothing negative! Im finding this very difficult emotionally, especially the sexual side of things. Ive been following similar cases here (and the PSSD forum) and there seems to be quite a bit of despair often with the OP just vanishing...I find this worrying. Trying to keep positive Regards
  5. Hello, I was hoping someone could give me some advice about some severe symptoms I've been experiencing since switching from Lexapro to Prozac and back again. Here is my story: Diagnosed with OCD and depression at 18. Prescribed 60 mg Prozac which I eventually manage to reduce to 30 mg. Continue taking this dose of Prozac for about 20 years. At the end of last year Prozac seems to have lost its effectiveness so I speak to my doctor about switching to Lexapro which I've heard has less side effects. As instructed by my doctor I reduce my Prozac dose to 20 mg for two weeks, wait 5 days without medication, and then start on 10 mg Lexapro. Soon after starting Lexapro I develop some very unpleasant side-effects, most notably heart palpitations and tinnitus. I speak with the doctor who tells me not to be concerned because the side effects are caused by "anxiety". Against my better judgment I continue taking the Lexapro for a total of 25 days. At this point the palpitations are so bad I have to stop taking the Lexapro immediately. I wait two days and then reinstate the Prozac at 40 mg. Things seem to be reasonably okay for about 3 weeks before all hell breaks loose. I wake up in the middle of the night with such extreme palpitations and dizziness that I end up in ER. However, the doctors find nothing wrong with my heart, conclude its anxiety and send me home. Two hellish weeks of palpitation induced insomnia and intermittent akathesia follow. During this time I have a number of medical tests but nothing abnormal shows up in the results. The palpitations are worse when I lie down and though they cause some anxiety I am convinced they are not caused by anxiety. It feels like the part of my nervous system responsible for controlling my heart has been physically damaged in some way. When I try to explain this to my psychiatrist and cardiologist they don't understand. The psychiatrist gives me Valium and the cardiologist gives me a beta blocker. None of these seem to make much difference so I'm given some Ambien to help me sleep. I take the Ambien for about 5 nights before I decide I'd rather deal with the insomnia. Eventually I get some kind of sleep, but it is still very fragmented and the palpitations persist. My chest feels really tight as if my heart is being pushed up against my chest bone and the palpitations are worsened by lying down, eating or feeling cold. I lose my appetite and drop from 78 to 69 kgs in weight. I start filming my sleep so that I can show my doctor what happens. The footage shows me suffering from hypnic jerks and muscle twitching. These jerks are accompanied by electric shock like sensations that wake me up. During the day I am still tortured by this uncomfortable feeling in my chest and the ongoing palpitations. It feels like my heart has a mind of its own and has been knocked out of sync with the rest of my body. The tinnitus (a loud, high-pitched ringing) also continues. After 18 years at the same company I have to take sick leave for the first time. I have been off work for a month now and have no idea when I'll be able to go back. I continue to take 30 mg Prozac because I feel things would be even worse without it. During the day I walk because this seems to help with the palpitations. I've started taking Magnesium L Threonate and krill oil supplements. I desperately want my life back.
  6. Some history. I've been on and off Fluoxetine and Citalopram all my adult life. They helped me, side effects were few apart from a few weeks of akathisia 10 years ago that passed during fluoxetine initiation. One side effect coming off fluoxetine that same time was a minor version of what I'm now going through. 10 weeks ago I started getting woken up by very rapid heart rate, an adrenaline burst, at the very moment of falling asleep. Like a hypnic jerk, but not my muscles twitching, instead my heart racing. I also got the same racing while waking up. So a wake-sleep transition thing. I managed to get to sleep eventually and usually got a good night's sleep. 5 weeks ago it got worse, so I went to my doctor and he's arranging a cardiologist to look at me (long waiting times in UK). Two weeks of sleep deprivation later I'm an anxious depressed mess. Dr puts me on Fluoxetine suggests anxiety may be the cause. I get akathisia bad, come off it, the doctor replaces it with low dose citalopram, which I'm tolerating. As well as low dose diazepam and zopiclone. Nothing is helping with the sleep disorder, which I believe is a parasomnia, possibly caused by stress/anxiety, but now the cause of suicidal thoughts due to extreme sleep deprivation. There's anecdote around that AD use or discontinuation cause such parasomnias. Any advice? Thank you, and good luck.
  7. Hi everyone, so I had been on Olanzapine for 3months, then tried to quit cold turkey couple times, which was a very bad idea, I developed severe insomnia, and couple other issues, then withdraw with tappering in 2months - too quickly, bad idea tried Trazodon for sleep, it did not help Ended up on Aripiprazole 7.5mg + mianserin 20mg for sleep. Still dealing with following issues: insomnia, but less than before headaches heart pain chronic fatigue I found Pregnenolone 50-400mg to significantly reduce headaces. As a source of my illness i suspect: heavy metal poisoning (my hair test was inconclusive) lyme dissease Borrelia burgdorferi (i had couple ticks) Currently im chelating from heavy metal poisoning using Andrew Cutler Protocol.
  8. I stopped taking Paxil 6 months ago. Since then, I've been unable to sleep more than about 4 hours a night. Has anyone gone through insomnia every night like this for this long? How long does the inability to get a sufficient amount of sleep last after getting off all psychiatric medications?
  9. Hello, I have been taking Seroquel 300mg for 5+ years and am desperately trying to get off of it due to persistent anhedonia. I've spent the past 4 weeks in a crisis house and managed to reduce my dose to 0 however, the drop from 25mg to 0 has been very difficult. I haven't slept for six nights (since I withdrew) I've managed to get the odd hour here and there in the day but I'm becoming increasingly desperate. I'm trying to get advice from a psychiatrist but because I leave the unit tomorrow I've been discharged from his care and can not access advice. Does anyone know how long this insomnia will last? I know it must vary from person to person but I'm terrified it will endure and have to try to get back to a stressful job very soon. Any advice welcome - thanks. Lily
  10. MOD NOTE: contains content which may be triggering for some members Hi, I have been "stalking" this website for a while now, I saw a couple stories that were a lot like mine. I never knew how much harm these darn medications could do, moreover, I was so glad I found that I was not alone in this. I felt like crying tears of relief when I found this community. Im not sure where to start so I will just give a basic "run-down" of my history; I came from an abusive background. My father abused me when I was younger, and my neighbor "took advantage" of me when I was 8, repeatedly. Im thankful I am not in that situation anymore, but those experiences did leave me with some "battle scars." I was diagnosed in early 2014 as having OCD, Anxiety, Depression, Panic Disorder, PTSD, and ADD. I knew I had some things from childhood, like the OCD, Depression, Anxiety and of course the ADD (That one is a bit hard to miss) But I was so shocked to find what had happened to me did give me PTSD. It was such a shock. I was hospitalized in late 2014 for a suicide attempt and that was my first introduction into the Antidepressants. To be honest they never really helped me. I was put on Prozac, not sure the dose, but I quit cold turkey after 3 maybe 4 weeks on it now that I think back to it. No side effects. No nothing. Then I was prescribed with several things back to back, Zoloft, Cymbalta, Effexor, I would only take 1 or 2 pills before not taking them anymore as I just felt the medication just masked the problem without actually fixing it. The only one that really did help a bit was Effexor but I got so jittery it was ridiculous I stopped after 2 days of use. again, no side effects, I was blessed. I was given Xanax for my panic attacks, i took it sparingly. Then I was given medication for my ADD, I thought "why not" and gave it a try since I was having trouble focusing especially in the workplace. I was given focalin. It completely destroyed me. I had a OCD flare up like no other. I ended up hospitalized from early May to late July/ Early August. It was a nightmare even though it did make me perform better, it was OCD hell. I recovered in a few days and was put on Paxil. 40 mg. and Trazadone for sleep which was switched with another type of sleep medication. I would take a combination of Trazadone and a cocktail of other sleep medications on and off. The doctor never warned me of the side effects of these stupid medications. I started having Nervous sweats, shaking which I believe to be called "akathesia", hypersensitivity, more panic attacks, PTSD episodes, OCD episodes. and weird sensations in my private parts that from what I have been reading, is called "PGAD" , horrible insomnia, sensations that are not there, so severe somatization, tinnitus that comes and goes, depersonalization, less able to focus, and an increase in paranoia. I ended up worse than when I started with this mess.. I have been though enough. Since I have been stalking this website I have been following a few stories that were a lot like mine and trying to mimic them in their withdrawal. I went from 40mg of Paxil to 21 mg. Probably too fast. I have been following Hopefull, ASkyFullOfHappy, MamaP, Gentle Steps, Petunia, MollyN especially since some of their stories really mirror mine in one way or another. Im sorry for stalking ya'll, I am actually very embarrassed, but I was recently given the courage to make my own account since I feel like I still don't know what I am doing sometimes, and honestly my symptoms, although they have improved a slight bit, they are not where I need them to be. I hope with some guidance I can get on the right track here, and maybe help a couple people out as well.
  11. I’m going to try and do this correctly but I’m going on almost no sleep in the past 5 months.. Two years ago I started having numerous new physical symptoms (night sweats, bloating, headaches,etc.) and felt very drugged. I started to wonder how many of the symptoms were related to the meds I was taking. I decided to start by tapering the low dose of Valium I’d been put on 4 years before to help with sleep. I don’t remember how I tapered. Probably too fast. After stopping completely I spent a month in withdrawal (and menopausal) hell. I did not sleep for a month. In desperation, I visited doc and was given a low dose of Xanax which did help. I tapered slowly off of that. While dealing with various symptoms, doc tried various meds, such as lyrica, Wellbutrin and topamax. I didn’t like any of them. I got off them fairly easily compared to what’s happening now. Lastly, I decided to get off the celexa I’d been placed on 10 years before. It was to “prevent” any depression after giving birth to a baby who was born still at 8 months preg. I felt pushed into it and trusted them.. 10 years later, (no one ever mentioned stopping it) I casually tapered 40mg in a few weeks... I suffered only headaches and dizziness while tapering and didn’t know any better. Doctor said it was fine. I felt better than I had in a very long time. Fibromyalgia symptoms went away, sweats all stopped, teeth grinding stopped. I started to feel alive, creative, finally some emotions. As soon as I stopped completely, insomnia hits. I still don’t know any better and think it will pass because I feel good. After about 2 months of insomnia, I visit doctor in desperation again. Put on Trazodone 100 mg. and given 30 Ambien. I feel Trazodone burying my new feelings but ignore it as I need sleep.. 2 months later, Trazodone doesn’t work for sleep anymore and I believe it may be causing a horrible restlessness in my whole body. Emotions are dead. No more Ambien, no more sleep. Deep waves, feelings of panic, dread.. no appetite, nausea, shaking arms.. can’t remember feeling good at all. I started last night tapering Trazodone as I think it made things much worse. Psychopharmacologist says drop 50% for a week or two, then stop. I was told it’s not addictive and is safe, no side effects... so wrong. I will try to taper slowly. Can’t wait to be off it. Probably not a good idea to stop faster? I wish I could have a good cry.. it’s not remotely possible. I feel incapacitated. Doctors and psychologist don’t believe celexa can cause this. Certainly, not Trazodone.. I dread bedtime.. I’m trying so hard to keep on top of this. I don’t want to upset my 3 kids who are still at home.. Someone please reach out to me. I feel very alone, although reading through your stories I know I’m not.. I hurt for all of you as much as I possibly can. 40mg very fast taper off celexa last summer. Put on 100mg Trazodone 2 months ago and attempting to taper off.
  12. I've been taking seroquel for PTSD for two years. I was taking 600 mg XR a day. In addition to this, I was taking a diabetes drug - metformin - to stop the outrageous hunger caused by seroquel. I've had a flare up of my eating disorder and decided that come hell or high water that I must get off the seroquel. Taking the combination of 600mg XR seroquel and 2000mg XR metformin, I managed to drop my weight down from a disgusting 72kg to a more tolerable 57kg (I'm 155cms tall) and stopped losing weight. No matter how much I restrict or exercise, I can't lose weight and haven't lost anything at all for 2 months. I did some research and decided to move across to Prazosin because it's also an alpha 1 adrenergic receptor antagonist like seroquel, but it's not sedating and doesn't cause you to gain weight or get metabolic syndrome either. So while I'm titrating up Prazosin at 2mg a day until I get to a dose of 30mg a day (I'm currently at 25 mg). But I've been simultaneously reducing my seroquel by 50mg a day - or I was until I completely lost my patience and remembering what my psychiatrist said about seroquel tapering, I started dropping my dose by 100mg every 5 days. For the most part, everything's been totally fine, except for a few days of insomnia. Now that I've gone from 50mg XR to 0, it's hit the fan and I can't sleep. Like I can be tired and feel physically relaxed but my brain won't stop thinking and over thinking and I can't fall asleep no matter what I do. I generally pass out at about 5 am and sleep until maybe 9 am, if I'm lucky. Until the prazosin was titrated to above 20mg a day, I was completely and irrationally suicidal and had to take all of my medications to my pastor and ask him to look after them because I was convinced that I'd overdose on them. I rang my psychiatrist and his only advice was to keep on with the seroquel and I absolutely refuse to do this. I feel like if I do that I'll a] never get off it and b] never lose any more weight. Will this insomnia go away? Or will I need to get an alternate drug to make me sleep until the seroquel is out of my system and my brain has adjusted? I just don't know what to do. University starts back in a week and I have to sleep if I expect to study. If I can't study, I can't eat because I'll lose my merit scholarship. IDK what to do. Anyone got any ideas, advice, help?
  13. I am writing this while I can function. It comes and goes. I have been off work since this thing started almost four weeks ago. I am very scared. Please help me. I've been on Prozac since late 2002. Prescribed because I was depressed. Initially at 20mg / day. Later the effect wore off somewhat and within a year or so it was upped to 60mg / day. I stayed on this dose until December 2013. While on it I sometimes reduced the dose to 40mg and sometimes skipped days to see what would happen if I come off it. After at most two or three weeks, I think I felt somewhat flat and took the full dose again. I suspected that the worse that could happen was that if I come off it I would feel depressed. I was led to believe this drug is safe for long term use. But I was in for a nasty, nasty, nasty surprise. In December 2013 I decided to fully come off it. Things went ok for a few weeks. I did notice that my muscles would lose power when exercising during January and early February 2014. By mid February I developed loss of appetite; nausea and brain zaps, muscle and joint pain and tiredness. This was followed within days with what appeared to be the worst flu that I ever had, exhaustion and fever. My blood pressure went down and my heart rate went up. I wondered if it might be related to the Prozac. So I took 40mg and waited. For about 1-2 hours. Symptoms were gone. By the next day I was back to normal. This scared me senseless as I realized for the first time what incredible power this drug has. Little did I know that the acute withdrawal was no big deal compared to what was to follow later. I started tapering in April 2014, reducing by 0.8mg / week over 50 weeks. When I reached zero mg by mid March 2015 it was *not* followed by acute withdrawal. There is one complication at this point. Between February and July 2015 I took about 35 doses of 100mg of Tramadol for chronic lower backpain. I was led to believe it is a mild opioid only. In early July I took it three days in a row. My vision blurred. I looked up Tramadol side effects and what I saw was scary. I learnt that in addition to being a mild opiod, Tramadol also contains two additional unwelcome guests in the form of an SSRI and an SNRI: "Tramadol provides analgesia through 3 mechanisms: mu-opioid binding (through its metabolite O-desmethyltramadol), serotonin reuptake inhibition (through (+)-tramadol) and norepinephrine reuptake inhibition (through (-)-tramadol). O-desmethyltramadol (which is formed from tramadol through O-demethylation catalyzed by CYP2D6) is responsible for theopiate-type effects of tramadol." I dropped the Tramadol there and then. Within a couple of days I was a weeping from sadness and melancholy. This phase lasted about two and a half weeks then improved slowly. Back to main story: Five months free and clear of Prozac and 7 weeks free and clear of Tramadol I slipped into a nightmare that I am still fighting as I type this. One night in late August 2015 I slept only half the normal time. 3.5 to 4 hours (Usually 7.5 hours) for two consecutive nights. This was followed with restlessness and then, akathisia (look it up - it is not bearable). I panicked and took 0.8 mg of Prozac. In about three hours the symptoms gradually faded out and I felt normal. At that point I thought I could just stay on a super low Prozac dose. Woke up around 2am the next morning with severe symptoms again. Took 0.8mg Prozac again, then every 2 hours until eventually I reached 6.4 mg for the day. It did not work like the day before. It might have relieved the symptoms somewhat for a part of the day. By the evening symptoms resumed. It then occurred to me that Tramdol might have something to do with it and not the Prozac. I took 1/6th of the usual Tramadol dose (1/3 of a 50mg capsule). Within an hour I was calm, but it is hard to say at this stage whether it was due to the Tramadol or not based on subsequent experience (I learnt that it comes and goes in waves through the day). At this point I decided not to take any further Prozac or Tramadol. I was now on a rollercoaster. (I am keeping hour-by-hour logs of what is happening and will post here maybe later in a chart or something.) Severe symptoms for hours on end, followed by a respite. Then the symptoms take over again. On some days it went on with almost no respite for two consecutive days. One unusual observation. One night ( a week in) I slept a full 7 hours or so. The next day I was back to normal. My relief was short lived, however, as I woke up with an incredible surge of fear in my chest and the symptoms returned, seemingly stoked on by the fear. After a week of this, I was desperate. I got a prescription for a beta blocker Bisoprolol (2.5mg). I took it and seem to have gotten relief as I was feeling normal later that day. But alas, at about 2am I was up again with the same symptoms. Tried 2mg of Diazepam. Nothing. The next day I switched the prescription to Propranolol. For the next week I tried the beta blockers on their own and together. At this point the Akathisia seemed to be easing off somewhat but in its place there was an absolutely paralyzing fear and anxiety that is hard to describe. "The Scream" by Edvard Munch comes to mind. At the beginning of this week my total sleep seemed to shrink to between zero hours(one night) and 2.5 hours. I took Midazolam sleeping pills a few times to try and get relief and some sleep. On the best day I got 3 hours extra. On the worst I got barely 30 minutes extra on it. Then I had three nights of 5.5 hours or so. That was followed by a 2 hour night. By this time the anxiety/fear was getting unbearable. I was getting exhausted. The fear and anxiety was ramping up in spite of the beta blockers. Throughout this time I had very little if any appetite. But I forced myself to eat because I needed energy to keep moving. The akathisia and anxiety compelled me to keep moving, moving, moving, pacing back and forth back and forth back and forth, sometimes without respite for up to 10 hours, starting between 2am and 4 am. My muscles were starting to indicate that they couldn't take this much longer. I made a rational calculation that I have only a few days left before muscle spasm or something sets in. I wondered if the "normal" day I had at the end of the first week might have been due to the 6.4 mg dose of Prozac I took at the beginning of that week. SO I decided to see if I could reinstate. I did not take this decision lightly. But after weighing it up for another day I took 4mg of Prozac. Symptoms eased off after that (but it could be coincidence as it comes and goes in waves). That was Friday. I took my last dose of beta blockers the day before (Thurs) and decided to stop beta blockers is I was going to re-instate. On Saturday morning I took 4mg and then 2 hours later anther 4mg. On Sunday morning I took 8mg On Monday morning I took 8mg. For the past few days things seem bearable between mid-day until I go to sleep. But early morning until the afternoon I get overwhelmed with panic and fear and I pace relentlessly. I still don't know if it was the right choice and whether I should abort reinstatement. I still cannot see a clear pattern of improvement, I do not know if I should up the dose or wait. I read the reinstatement page and also Eva's story (seem very similar to mine) on the edge of my seat. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/5715-eva-struggling-after-20-years-prozac-and-now-without/page-4 But it ends with a cliff hanger. She never reported whether her dose increase stabilized her. I am thinking if I can stabilize then I can regroup and plan the next step. Should I continue to try and reinstate or abort reinstatement? Will I be able to taper again if I can stabilize on this reinstatement? I have not been able to go to work for the past three weeks. I am now in week 4. I am very scared and need help. Please, please help me.
  14. What would a safe titration schedule be? I was given for insomnia. And want off. Thank you for any help
  15. I had been on Effexor XR for fifteen years before making the decision to get off this terrible drug. My concern is that I waited too long. I was tired of the feelings if I missed a dose, the sexual side effects and the general lack of emotions. Had I know how difficult and painful this journey was going to be I would have stayed on the poison just to avoid all of the difficulty. In the beginning of coming off the drug I had all the symptoms others have described. The crying, the brain zaps, the panic attacks at night all were just the tip of the iceberg with coming off. I unfortunately came off too fast. I did the standard weaning described by my doctor from 150, 75 to 37.5. What I should have done was to open the capsules and count the beads. I also should have lengthened the time between each drop in dose. I would say after 3 months in I had it beat, I felt litter but that was short lived. I then began my journey of trying to find other alternatives. I tried Accupunture, Counseling, LDA therapy, NAC, Inositol, heavy doses of vitamin D, magnesium, zinc, omega fish oil, restore, brain octane...... I then , after 9 months off Effexor, decided to try Prozac in order to cope with life. Everything has become insurmountable and my thoughts are all negative. I have never been so pessimist as I am right now. Now only to I judge myself against all others, I internally do the same with my children and their accomplishments. Nothing is ever good enough. I feel perhaps that Effexor has damaged me somehow. My once optimistic trial and error ways have turned to a pessimistic future. My next journey is to try CBD in the hopes that I can return to some normal aspect off life. I welcome all comments, ideas, stories or pep talks to get me through!
  16. I have found forums like this valuable so I thought I would post my recent experience in case it can be helpful to someone else. My wife has recently been trying to get off Saphris. Here is what she experienced and the problems she encountered. Of course this is just one individual case, your situation may not come out the same. -she has been on Saphris for over 3 years - she tapered from 15mg a day down to 1.25 mg/day over a period of about 3 months going from 15, to 12.5 to 10 to 7.5, to 5, to 2.5 and then finally to 1.25 with zero withdrawal issues. In fact she felt great! side effects gone... no anxiety.. fantastic. -then, just a few days after tapering from 2.5 to 1.25 she decided she could just stop alltogether. She figured 1.25 mg was so little anwyay it was a tiny step to zero. - at that point she started having terrible insomnia. Not necessarily anxiety, she just felt like her body wouldnt let her sleep or if she did sleep it would be for a a very short time. She was getting at max a couple hrs a night and of course this was debilitating. -This went on for like a week, she was hoping it was temporary but it didnt seem to be improving. It was her only withdrawal symptom but of course if you can't sleep it pretty much destroys your life, so we had to do something. -her dr suggested benadryl which helped for 1 night -- she took 2 benadryl and it let her sleep about 5 hrs-- not great sleep but better -but then the next night it didnt work. She tried 3, even on 3 it didnt do much. -so then her dr suggested ambian. We werent too thrilled to put her on a sleeping pill since she was trying to get *off* the drugs but on the other hand she couldn't sleep and we had to do something. She tried 1 ambian and it helped... she slept about 4-5 hrs, restlessly, but felt horrible in the morning.. as exhausted as if she hadnt slept at all. The dr was suggesting to up the ambian. Orig dosage was 6.25 mg and so he was going to double it to 12.5mg. We considered that but didnt do it. - we read the info at theroadback.org and it gave us the idea that maybe she just needed to go back to the 1.25mg dose and taper that down much more slowly. We had been worried about going back on the Saprhis at all because we had this idea that she had been suffering through this withdrawal period that *maybe* was almost over??? and we didnt want to give in and "reset the clock"-- if it even works like that. Anyway though, with the only other option being other drugs, we decided it was the best thing to try.. so she went back, after 2 weeks totally off, to 1.25 MG of Saphris. This completely alleviated the insomnia. She is feeling well now after 2 really good night's sleep. Now of course we still want to get her completely off the saphris, but at 1.25mg its such a low dose, she has no side effects (and prob no therapeutic value either, its just to curb the withdrawal) .. so our plan now is to keep it at 1.25 for prob a month and then take maybe 3 months to go from 1.25 to zero much more slowly... we are going to look for a compound pharmacy who can create micro-doses for her so she can go down maybe in quarter mg increments, 2-3 weeks per incremeent.. and see how that goes.. and if she gets the insomnia again we'lll just go back to the prior microdose level for a little longer before going down again. anyway still a work in progress but thought this, as a case study, might be useful to someone.
  17. I have been suffering from this unique sleeping disorder. I dream whole night continuously and wake up exhausted every morning. Most of the people think it's any kind of psychological disorder even doctors just prescribe antidepressants and sleeping pills. Familly members are supportive but they could only give advice like wake early, do exercise. I nearly browsed the whole internet to get an ultimate cure for this problem but got nothing except "the change your routine"advice. There are many old forums where people discussed the similar problem but now they are closed without any conclusion. I have this problem from 2014 when I was doing my masters. During the final exams and due to other circumstances I felt some anxiety so went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me 1.Imipramine 2.Diazapam 3.Trifluoperazine 4.Nitrazepam of different brands. After few days my exams over so I stopped taking pills suddenly from a night.From that night till today I didn't get a single dreamless sleep every morning wake up exhausted.there are many nights I did not get sleep at all. Since then I have visited many Allopathic, Homeopathic and Ayurvedic doctors, have tried several of medicines and supplements but nothing helped me. And you guys obviously aware of side effects especially in the case of allopathy like day drowsiness and brain fog.I also got my blood tested nothing significant but a deficiency of Vitamine D so started taking Vitamins. Till now no appeared benefits. It's like living in a hell, could do many things in life but first wanna get rid of this curse.I even tried spiritual ways. If you could help me in any way I will be highly grateful to you.
  18. Hi everyone. I've been dealing with severe derealization, panic, insomnia, anxiety, depression, dizziness, vertigo, migraines, agitation, irritably etc. for 3 years now. I'm scared out of my mind. I am on geodon 20 mg 2x a day zoloft (I'm weening. Just went from 25 mg to 12.5 mg) remeon 7.5 mg 2x a day scheduled Ativan (5 mg total per day) i am at at the end of my rope. I believe be chronic insomnia is at the heart of the way I feel. I have recently come to the realization that the derealization could be coming from pharmaceuticals. In an attempt to feel better, I have started weening off Zoloft- under doc approval (had to start somewhere and this medication has never helped me). I have been on Zoloft for 13 years, since the birth of my son when I developed post pardum depression. Is it it possible that going off the Zoloft will help? Or is the derealization likely to get worse? I'm still on 12.5 mg. This is my 2nd day on 12.5 from 25 mg. I believe I went from 50 mg to 37.5 in mid July. Then only went from 37.5 to 25 mg a week ago. And started 12.5 yesterday. Is this too quick? Or should I stay on 12.5 for a couple weeks and see how I do? Sounds like medication withdrawal can certainly cause DP/DR, but is it possible that coming off of them can actually help? Will things ever get bettter? Any adcice woukd be greatly appreciated.
  19. Hello mates, My GF is addicted to seroquel (the extended relesead version) since 2010. In 2010 she had a severe insomnia problem.Seroquel was the only med that made her sleep after 4 days without any hour of sleep. Since that time, insomnia as became a problem. She was on 100-200 (100mg: if she was sleeping well; 200mg: if she was with sleeping problems) Since a year ago, she he is mainly on 75mg. We are thinking that, the insomnia problem is now because of seroquel. Can it be? I think this med destroys the quality of sleep. How to withdrawal the XR version? People who have quit seroquel can now sleep well? (Sorry for my English) Thank you
  20. Hi, my name is Trevor, I'm 28 years old and I have been recovering from Remeron withdrawal for a while now. I took 15mg Remeron for 7 years and every time I tried to stop taking it I experienced debilitating insomnia that would last for weeks til I just couldn't take it any more and went back on the medication. Finally I decided it was time to kick this drug for good and started out by reducing my dose to 7.5 mg for a few months, then I started the long process of slow reduction using the liquid titration method. I spent 5 months reducing from 7.5 mg to 0 and by the time I got down to 2 mg I was already experiencing insomnia along with other side effects like depression, anxiety, crying spells, body itching, heart palpitations, and chronic diarrhea. It's been three months now sense my last dose and I still can't manage to get consistent sleep. On good nights I might sleep 5-6 hours but most nights I only get 2-4. Even when I do fall asleep my dreams can get pretty disturbing and I wake up every 30 minutes to an hour. When I lay down to sleep my heart beats very heavy, not fast or sporadic like with anxiety, but slow and forceful. Even if I can get my mind to shut off and be completely relaxed my body will not relax. Any time I get my blood pressure checked it's completely normal but I have noticed my resting heart rate is kind of slow. The other day it was as low as 48bpm. I still get diarrhea some days, and it doesn't make a difference what I eat. It always happens first thing in the morning when I end up running to the bathroom every 15 minutes about 3-5 times. A few months back I went to an alternative health clinic and they started me on a bunch of supplements in an attempt to re balance my hormones and get me sleeping again. Some of the stuff I was taking was Chinese herbs so I don't even know what was in it. I got tired of spending 100's of dollars on supplements every month I didn't even know where helping or not so recently I began to cut back on the supplements. I even went to see a hypnotherapist last week and am going back later this week. The other problem is that I picked a very stressful time in my life to get off the meds. I had just quit my job and sold my house to go back to school plus my girl friend had just broke things off with me. Sense then I tried to date another girl who rejected me after a couple dates. My alcoholic father moved back to Missouri after living in Colorado for 14 years and just recently he got diagnosed with ALS and only has a few months to live. His ex wife came and got him and moved him to Michigan where she plans on taking care of him. I'm just glad I don't have to watch him die a slow death. School is going well but I'm taking easy classes right now, I'm afraid that if I don't start sleeping well by the time I get accepted into my program of study I might fail the program. It's so difficult for me to concentrate on my studies when I'm only getting 2 hours of sleep some nights. I used to be very healthy and full of energy, I was big into fitness like running, biking, and yoga. Now days I barley have enough energy to go for a walk. What advice would anyone have for someone who has already been off a drug for a while but is still experiencing side effects? I keep telling myself this can't go on forever and I will eventually start sleeping normal again but progress is so slow it gets very discouraging. This Friday I will be going to get my yearly check up with the VA. I haven't been to the VA clinic for any of this because I was afraid they would just try to put me on another medication. But now I'm beginning to realize there may be other things they can do for me like sleep studies or talk to a therapist. Any suggestions on how to approach my doctor about this? In my experience military and VA doctors are terrible when it comes to health problems like this, I want to make sure he gets me the help I need without me being disrespectful or acting like a know it all. Are there any treatments I should ask for directly?
  21. Hello my name is phil and Im a late 30's male who was extremely healthy and in great shape a few months back and wish to talk with others about their experience getting off of prozac. I am currently on 40 mg of prozac daily for the past 3.5 months and am wanting to talk with others about coming off of it. I have always had above average anxiety and slight ocd but haven't been on meds in many years and managed fime. About 4 months ago I had complications and major increasing pain from a vasectomy that went wrong and had a major breakdown. I was given 40 mg of prozac to take daily and also xanax to take as needed. I was taking up to 4mg xanax a day for the first 2 months. When I started the prozac I started to suffer from severe insomnia. I went the first 5 weeks getting anywhere from 0-2 hours sleep at most and hoped it would improve but it never did. Eventually I was given 50 mg of trazadone to help me sleep and bumped it up to 100mg soon after. I have been able to get myself down to 0.5-1mg xanax daily with no problems mainly taking it at night along with my trazadone and 10 mg of melatonin for sleep. I cannot sleep at all if i dont take the trazadone, xanax and melatonin and I feel like my sleep has been disrupted badly when I started taking the prozac. About 10 years aho I had been on a high dose of zoloft for a year or two and quit CT and didn't go through much withdraw. I am sure my family would like me to continue the prozac but I can't handle the insomnia or the thought of never being able to sleep without other meds. I'm hoping to try to reduce my dosage in half for awhile and then slowly wean off. I've only been on it for 3.5 months so I'm hoping the withdraw wont be too difficult. I just found this site and was looking for advice, support or stories of other people's experiences. I'm hoping that if I get off the prozac I will eventually be able to sleep on my own again without additional meds as I have never had problems with sleep in the past, prior to starting the prozac. On a side note, I had a second surgery preformed two months ago and am still having issues. I have been seeing a therapist weekly and am not so sure if my insomnia is totally related to the prozac or if some of it is due to my anxiety that I am still having anxiety from the the complications of the surgery, either way I do not want to be on prozac for an extended period of time. Any advice or experiences would be appreciated. Has anyone else experienced insomnia that wouldn't go away from prozac? Thanks, Phil
  22. Hi Everyone, This is my first post, so I hope I am doing it correctly! I was prescribed Lexapro during a very stressful time after losing a job in my late 50's. After the first week on Lexapro, I told the therapist I didn't think I could use this drug as I had insomnia from the very start. She suggested that I take it in the am, and use Xanax as needed for sleep. This gave me satisfaction........for a couple of years. But then, I developed GI issues and lost between 30 and 40 lbs. After I was diagnosed with Lymphocytic colitis, I discovered that this issue can be associated with AD use, so my concern about Lexapro began. As time went on, I had to take Xanax on a more regular basis (and multiple times each night) to get sleep and stay asleep. After I retired at 71 years, I decided I needed to wean off these drugs as I was concerned about the dependence on Xanax. With my therapist's approval I weaned off Lexapro over several months, with the last tiny dose (liquid) being May 2015. I experienced most of the usual withdrawal symptoms, but by far the worst was the insomnia, which started February 8, 2015 when I reduced the Lexapro to 2.5mg. Since then (nearly 15months ago), I have not been able to sleep through the night. A year ago I had a sleep study and it indicated that I was getting 0.0% deep sleep. Usually I am able to fall asleep on my own, but I am always awake one hour or one and a half hours later. Then I am awake for most of the rest of the night. Since February I have not even been able to get sleepy - day or night. I seem to be wired to only stay awake. As a result, I am miserably exhausted, with tremors, dizziness and vertigo. I am frustrated that I have no strength to do the gardening I love; my energy is depleted in no time, and I am spending more and more time in bed during the day just to recover sufficiently to take on the next task. Over the past 15 months, I have tried Trazadone, Doxepin, and now Sonata to help me get more sleep. Trazadone was never really helpful. Doxepin was beneficial for a time, but that seemed to wear off. This week I was given Sonata to try. Has anyone had a similar experience, and how did it get resolved?
  23. Hi. This is my first post so I hope I've got it right. After a too fast taper off prozac I'm having severe insomnia with high cortisol levels. Any suggestions on how to get that under control?
  24. Hi everyone! I've just found this thread and I'm so happy I did. I'm 27 and have been taking klonopin 1.5mg daily for about four years. Last month I started seeing a new doctor and she put me on Zoloft with the hopes of tapering the klonopin. I took 25mg for the first week, 50 mg for the following 3 weeks and now have been on 100mg for the past 3 days. This medication is making me feel insane. On 50mg I felt more depressed. Now that I upped the dose I'm constantly anxious so I've been taking more klonopin. I'm dizzy, my eyes just start shutting constantly, nauseous, can't stop yawning (and the yawns make me sick to my stomach). Has anyone had similar symptoms? Did they go away? My doctor said to give it a few more days and if this persists we'll lower the dose. I honestly just want to stop the medication. Also, I haven't been able to sleep at night. It's pure hell. Someone please tell me I'm not the only one struggling with this. Has anyone stopped the medication after this amount of time and had minimal side effects? Because now I feel as if I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Medication symptoms or withdrawal symptoms. Thanks in advance!
  25. Hi to you all, My name is Kyte and I came off 4mg a day of clonazepam just 7wks ago. I was on this medication for 25yrs!! I had no idea what I was letting myself in for nor how much damage they have caused. I was in so much pain I sincerely thought I was going to die for the first 3 wks. I was in a rehab centre that only uses natural supplements ect for the withdrawal . It is only since coming out a week ago (as I am unable to finish their program due to sleep deprivation & I will be going back when I can) that I now can see just how much they were and are affecting my life!! I was trying to get off tramadol hence the rehab, I didn't at first want to drop the clonazepam but deep deep doewn I knew they were a massive problem, causing me untold symptoms. My main problem right now is sleep deprivation, went a full 12 days and nights without even a wink of sleep during the first couple of weeks. then i was getting roughly 1 to 3 hours every second or third night!! I was unable to communicate, i couldn't understand anyone, so when I look back I can see the improvment already, even though I am housebound still and live on my own this is obviously a concern for me. I wish if possible to try natural solutions to this problem, and their is a lot of suggestions out there, though I would really like to find out from people who have actually gone through this!! I have and am taking melatonin and valerian & hops which def help to relax me although sleep still is a dream rather than reality right now. I would love to know if any of you have had insomnia to this extent? How long did it go on for? and what did you do about it? Thank you so much for taking the time to read my message & I wish you alll well on your journeys of recovery, Kyte x
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