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  1. blueyes

    blueyes: My Story

    Hi Everyone! I just wanted to take the time to introduce myself and share my story.... I was on Lexapro for 12 years. I actually think I have been on something else when I was pregnant but I honestly can not remember due to the short term memory loss these drugs have given me. Anyhow, the lexapro gave me insomnia so the doctor also put me on a sleeping pill called Lunesta...when I switched over health insurances to Kaiser, the doctor told me they don't cover Lunesta and told me to try this other "sleeping pill" called Klonopin. Little did I know, Klonopin is worse than Xanax. I was taking the Klonopin for over 2 years. I also started gaining weight so the doctor also put me on another pill called phentermine for 6 years to help curve my appetite. When I found out all these drugs were addicting I got nervous so I starting lowering my dose of all the pills over an 10 week period (which now I know was way too fast). By June 1st, 2016 I was off all the drugs. My initial withdraws were not so bad then bam come the 3rd month...ALL hell broke lose. I literally had almost every withdrawal possible and they only got worse as the days went on. I was like a vegetable...couldn’t see well, hear well, confused, hard time comprehending simple things, felt out of my body, depersonalized, dizzy, disoriented, diarrhea everyday, no appetite, sensitive to light, losing my hair and the list goes on and on. I literally felt like I was living in hell. As the days turned into weeks then months things only got worse. I ended up with so much anxiety and depression like I have never experienced before. Then the insomnia kicked in so bad I ended up not sleeping for 3 straight weeks which made me manic. I was pacing around the house like a crazy woman. Then I became extremely, extremely suicidal.... Meanwhile, during all this, I kept walking in the evening for exercise, working, journaling and begging God to help me but NOTHING was working. I finally googled what I was going through and it was ALL right there.... withdrawals from the meds!! I ended up in a mental ward for 10 days. It was literally the worst experience of my life. In the hospital they tried to drug me up again. I ended up getting back on something just so my brain would go back to normal. Right now, I am only on 10mg of Prozac and thankfully I'm off the Klonopin and Phentermine! I’ve been off the Lexapro and Phentermine for 18 months and the Klonopin for 7 months. I am still feeling weird. It’s been a little bit over a year since I was hospitalized. I’m not sure if I’m still going through withdrawals from all the previous meds I got off of or if it’s side affects from the Prozac. As if today, I am still losing my hair and have to wear a wig full time because of all the hair loss. My memory and vision are horrible but getting a little better. I still have racing thoughts everyday but that’s getting better as well. I have 2 young children and dont really look forward to anything. It’s almost like I can’t wait to die but I’m not suicidal. I feel flat with no happiness or joy. I never want to do things and nothing really bothers me now. My initial plan was to start a very slow taper of the Prozac this May as that will put me a year off the Klonopin but I am now having 2nd thoughts. I feel like maybe I should stay on the Prozac a couple years till my children get a little older and start a really slow 3 - 4 year micro taper. I am just so scared of going mentally ill again. I would love to hear positive stories of people who have been on antidepressants for years and have safely tapered and are doing well! Thank you for listening to my story! God Bless!!
  2. I'm holding at .25 mg of clonazepam twice a day. Since September 2017 have been slowly tapering down from .5mg , 3 times a day from Aug 2017. The madness started when I tried to taper off 1 mg of xanax 3 times a day in May 2017 . I could not taper off xanax , even with a trial of ativan or valium both intolerable. 2 mg dose of valium caused uncontrollable shaking of body and stuttering when speaking . Ended up in Aug 2017 , in hospital , pulled off xanax, thrown on mirtazepiene , gabapentin and clonazepam . Have slowly tapered off the gabapentin and mirtazepiene, one at a time . I need help in lowering my dose of clonazepam , because have been holding for 30 days + due to on and off internal vibrations , and the start of warming spine with tingling , assorted chills on and off, etc . My fear is the next taper will bring constant burning of spine , as had with xanax , and worse the reinstatement of gabapentin. Gabapentin did stop burning spine but with depression, blurred vision, weight gain and acne like eruptions on face and neck , as well as other side effects , etc. I need help on my next drop . Do I just stay where I am at and hope the internal vibrations, tingling , and warming spine at some point stop ? I'm very strong and determined to be free of this drug but do not know how to endure burning nerve pain from withdrawal . I have tried topical magnesium oil , oral melatonin for sleep , Ubiquinal , etc to no avail. Ubiquinal at low dose reved me up , just to stimulating . Who knows if placebo effect , but tart cherry juice , twice a day allows for some sleep. I find my body during tapering, less is more and fear supplements cause more harm due to a very sensitive nervous system. I do take vitamin b with c and vitamin d . I follow a low cholesterol diet , no alcohol or caffeine . My DR. does not believe in protracted withdrawal or that my symptoms stem from benzos . A neurologist disagrees as thankfully no neurological damage just neurological symptoms every time a cut in dose is made . Does any one have any insight to ease my suffering ?
  3. Hi everyone, I have been on Klonopin since 2013 and started my taper in tolerance withdrawal this past February at 2.5 mg's a day. My method of tapering was to liquefy .5 mg's in 100 mL's of milk and reduce by 10% a month while taking the rest of my dosage dry. Things were far from good but ever since I've been at about 1.75 when I slowed to 5% I've been completely non functional. I'm extremely dizzy, have DP/DR, horrible morning anxiety, agoraphobia, bad gastro issues, insomnia, depression and many other symptoms that I'm sure many of you suffer from. I know that everyone is different and that a MT was not a guarantee to a smooth ride by any means but I at least thought it would be bearable. I don't work, I don't see my friends, my memory and photo-sensitivity are so bad that I can't really even watch TV/movies/sports and I honestly have no idea how anyone can live like this for a prolonged period of time. My prescriber is extremely unwise when it comes to benzos and attributes any worsening in my symptoms entirely to my "underlying anxiety disorder" while pushing drugs even though I've been seeing her for three years and have gotten MUCH worse as I unwittingly let her up my Klonopin dosage and try several SSRI's and other psych meds. I just don't know how to progress. I am at 1.5 mg's so I am just holding there and taking my full dosage dry for the time being but I don't know whether to try a cut and hold or find someone who will oversee a Valium crossover (which I've been looking for to no avail for a long time) or what. I just don't know if there's anything that I could be doing to limit the amount of suffering that I'm going through and I'm feeling very hopeless and confused. I don't ever seem to "stabilize" but I don't know how to proceed. I'm not sure what I'm looking for to come out of this but any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.
  4. Hello all, I believe I am withdrawing from Paxil, Clonazepam or both. I thought I was over with the Paxil withdrawal, and started decreasing my Clonazepam. Lately I can't go for quiet walk without anger and bad memories driving me to quit. I have nightmares, am irritable, angry..I feel like I can't be around anyone. The Paxil quickly lost its effectiveness in treating my depression. I tried to get off of Clonazepam and Paxil years ago, but was having waves of repeating panic attacks. 24/7. At the time I was on 60 mg of Paxil and 3 mg of Clonazepam. Before I was on these drugs, I had anxiety issues, but only 1 full on panic attack. The drugs have made me so much worse. I resumed the medication as quickly as I could. Currently, I thought I was able to get rid of the Paxil, I seemed to be fine. I had to come off of 30 mg, rather than the previous 60. The weaning off period lasted a few months. I don't think reducing the clonazepam is the problem, because taking the full dose doesn't help. I am wondering if I am still having a residual withdrawal issue from the Paxil. I really don't like what it happening to me, and I'm really afraid I won't be able to recover.
  5. Hey everyone, 46 year old single woman here with a history of anxiety and recently some intrusive thoughts & depression because of the anxiety/intrusive thougths. Have been on Remeron, Lexapro and Klonopin since 8/2015, my signature has the complete history and details. Anyway, I am currently trying to taper off 15mg of Remeron mainly due to weight gain and feeling better, but am having a pretty hard time. My psychiatrist originally told me to go down to 7.5 for 2 weeks, then 0 but I knew that would be too fast. I tried to drop by a quarter pill and was ok the first week just a little sadness. The 2nd week got headaches, trouble sleeping, worse mood, fatigue, achiness, a little nausea. At this point I started looking online for other peoples stories and found this site among others. I found information on one site on how to mix Mirt. into a liquid, and started dropping by 1mg a week, currently starting my 4th week and am at 12mg. But honestly I feel like crap. Depression is probably a 6-7 out of 10, having trouble sleeping and that really affects my mood, very low energy, hard to concentrate, some headaches and body aches, intense dreams/nightmares, feel very unmotivated and getting more intrusive thoughts (which I have dealt with for 2 years now). Ironically my anxiety is better! I thought I was going at a slow enough taper, maybe I'm wrong or maybe I wasn't ready. Not sure, just want to feel better though. I really want off the mirt because of weight gain (45 pounds!) and was feeling better, at least before I started taper. I see my psych next week and will talk to him. Just thought I would ask you guys for some advice since you've been there or are currently in the middle of a taper. Any thoughts about what could help me, should I go slower? I think sleep is the main thing that wrecks my mood and gives way to a lot of the other issues. Any tips or kind words would be greatly appreciated! Jade
  6. Hello, I have been on and off of psychiatric medication for a variety of conditions for almost 10 years. My doctors have tried almost everything, first to ease depression, then crippling anxiety, then delusions/psychotic episodes. I have tried almost every drug under the sun, but usually didn't stick with them for very long. There were 2 combinations that I stuck with for a while, though. In college: Klonopin (as needed for anxiety) Prozac Abilify This worked well until I moved home from college and saw a new psychiatrist. He put me on about 7 different medications, which I can't remember all of them. I was admitted into a mental hospital and put on Risperdal to try. I took it because it started to relieve my symptoms, and I didn't know what else to do. After coming off of 4 of the 7 medicines (one being Lithium that I stopped cold turkey), I was left with 3 that I have taken for the last 5 years: Risperdal Lamictal Klonopin (daily) Recently, my doctor decided to take me off Risperdal, as I was having a variety of issues that may or may not have been related to the drug. I tapered the drug (but from what I read on here it was rather fast) from 1 mg to 0 mg in 2 weeks. At first I felt great, actually. I was super calm. The only thing I really felt was "vulnerable", like I could break at any second. And I had 0 tolerance to alcohol. Couldn't even drink a sip. Now, almost a month later (last 1/4 of Risperdal was taken on August 6th), I feel worse than ever. I am struggling with dissociative symptoms, and anxiety so high that I didn't think it was possible to be this anxious. It wakes me up in the night with sweats, and I was up in the morning frozen to the bed with anxiety. I feel like I can't move my body the anxiety is so bad. Immediately pre-ceeding this was a whirlwind of emotions, ranging from extreme anger to happiness, to just acting "not myself". Ever since I stopped though I should mention that the fatigue has been unreal/unbearable. The first two weeks I couldn't make it through the day without a nap. Now I'm just super exhausted all the time. I am looking for some support. Will this ever get better? I just got married and I feel so saddened that I'm not a "normal" person that can get up and do life. I feel like every day I never know what to expect or anticipate. It seems like when one symptoms disappears, another comes. Has permanent damage been done? Is there hope?
  7. Hello fellow survivors, In 1998 I was in the throes of peri-menopause and some life stressors which caused me to experience severe anxiety. Went to my family doc who prescribed some Ativan, which caused me to feel really depressed. I was then prescribed Zoloft and slowly but surely I weaned myself off the Ativan. I have to be honest and say that the Zoloft did help with the anxiety and other peri-menopausal symptoms so I continued to take it. In 2010 my insurance changed and it no longer covered the brand name Zoloft I was using so went on the generic. I did not feel well after I began taking the generic so I went to my psych doc and she wanted to add a mood stabilizer to my regimen. I did not want to go that route so I decided that it was time to get off the medi-go-round. I continued taking the generic Zoloft, but also decided to give bio-identical hormones a try with the hope that I could eventually wean off what I believed was the worse of the two evils...Zoloft. Well, the estrogen patch only made matters worse for me and I went into a severe depression. I then went to see a homeopathic psych doc who increased my Zoloft from 100 mgs to 200 mgs., prescribed Klonopin, and Remeron. Boy was I over-medicated and a mess. Since then I have managed to wean myself from the K...the R and decrease the Z from 200 mgs back to 100 mgs. The more I lowered the meds, the better I felt. I am currently considering weaning completely off the Zoloft, but have so many concerns. It is my hope to continue to learn as much as I can about "surviving antidepressants" to be able to survive without them. Sunflower
  8. Hello all - I am 1 month post taper of Klonopin. Took over 4 months liquid titration. I was given the neurontin to take to assist with the withdrawal process. I take anywhere between 300-900 mg every other day to every third day over the past 3 month. However, I think I am having a bad reaction. I feel suicidal and cry all the time. Since I was not taking alot and was not taking it every day, can I just take a week of oif work and let it get out of my system? Considering it makes me have those horrible suicidal thoughts, I would prefer not to taper, but if you feel that is better let me know. I am so not ready to taper another med and deal with more withdrawls after the hell of the Klonopion, but I need to do what is safest and best for me. Im close to losing my job from suffering job performance due to the Klonopin taper/withdrawl and the fact I sleep once every three days. My brain is a mess. Please help me!
  9. Started with gabapentin and klonopin .. tapered off during pregnancy .. was thrown back on post partum .. didn't take gaba again .. from 3mgs klonopin to 1.25 .. with just mom brain as she's still an infant.. I take inisitol , magnesium , pre biotics .. work out eat clean and am looking forward to being off .. I've been cleared for a cannabis card also
  10. Just began seeing alternative medicine practitioner (DO/Psychologist) in the hopes of finding natural products to replace meds with. Several specialty blood tests taken; waiting for lab results. Cannot see that doc again for 2 months. Need something to help the withdrawal process in the meantime. Don't trust long term psychiatrist. Next appt. on 8/19. Took early retirement in October. Attending classes. Finals this week. Husband laid off in June. I hope to return to work soon. Lots of stress and anxiety. Lost 2nd flash drive last week since May. Lost 2 pairs of prescription glasses this year. Home very cluttered. Very little motivation. Can't think straight. Lost and confused. What forum would be best to post in?
  11. SynyKon

    SynyKon: Need help

    I don't know where to start. Several months ago I began seeing a psychiatrist so I could continue getting my prescriptions for Klonopin. That has always been the best med for me, really helps my anxiety. Due to diagnosed liver damage, she severely lowered my dosage from 0.5mg 3 times daily to only one a day and added paxil for depression even though I told her I don't have depression. I was on that for a month and told her it was not working, if anything I felt depressed since starting the med. So she switched me to 37.5mg of effexor 2 pills per day. After one month, told her it wasn't helping me so she increased my dose to 3 pills per day. I've been on this mix for two months and the longer I was on it, the worse I started to feel. I actually started feeling extremely depressed and overall emotionally unstable. 4 nights ago, I had a complete emotional breakdown. I walked out of my house with all my meds, went to the fire department nearby that was at that time closed and I swallowed my last 10 Klonopin and at least 12 effexor. I grew so dizzy and lightheaded that I could barely walk but managed to get home and fell asleep. For the next two days, I felt fine, just tired but then yesterday out of nowhere, I began feeling very sick with severe abdominal pain, electric shocks shooting through me, severe nausea and diarrhea, numbness everywhere, severe disorientation, lower back pain like an extension from the stomach and abdominal pain, severe dizziness, weakness, emotionally broken (crying uncontrollably for no reason, unable to stop), rapidly changing chills and feeling hot, slightly slurred speech, etc. I could not eat or drink anything, even water, without feeling sick. Finally fell asleep and woke up today with the stomach and abdominal pain so strong I can't stand straight and feel like I might fall, still feeling very weak, severe dry throat, still very nauseated, etc. I am at a loss. All my psychiatrist cares about is getting me working, she does not listen to me at all, very condescending and I do not feel she has my health and safety in her best interest. I currently am without transportation and I'm desperate for help. I'm worried about my liver, the Dr expressed real concern about it but neglected to give me much information other than he was concerned about the damage they found. I'm scared, depressed because I'm in no condition to take care of my 3 year old daughter who keeps asking, "mommy are you sick? You need to go doctor?" Please anyone help.
  12. I'm new to the forums - currently taking 225mg Effexor, .25mg Klonopin, and .25mg Risperdal. My psychiatrist noted that the Risperdal is temporary (will be taking it for about 3 months), but after reading about withdrawal from this particular drug, I'm wondering if I shouldn't begin going off it sooner than that. It's worth noting that the depression and anxiety that I was experiencing even with Effexor and Klonopin did subside almost immediately after beginning Risperdal. At any rate, I already know I'll be beginning a taper off Klonopin soon, after successfully dropping from .5mg to .25mg without any side effects after 4 weeks - I think I got lucky there. I've been on Risperdal for 28 days, so my natural question, given that withdrawal from psychiatric drugs can occur for anyone taking them for "1 month or longer" is whether I should just stop immediately, since it's been just shy of one month and my dose is low, or if I should taper. I understand that I shouldn't expect a definitive answer to this, but I'm very interested to hear what others think and, quite frankly, very scared about what I'm about to face, given the need to taper from two different drugs. My psychiatrist will undoubtedly tell me to just stop taking it after I've been on it for 3 months, as she seems to believe that there are no withdrawal symptoms from any psych. drugs. So I kind of have to go it alone on this decision without guidance from her. Any thoughts would be much appreciated.
  13. Hello, First time on this site. I've been a member of benzo buddies (sleeplessmt) and trying to locate others who suffer in the same way as I do. I was first introduced to pych meds when my youngest daughter was 2 months old (September of 2014). I was having some minor difficulty sleeping in between all of the feeding wakeups so I stupidly went to my doctor for help. She gave me Clonazepam and Trazodone and I alternated nights with those meds. I stopped both after 6 weeks and had no wd. A few months later I started them again for sleep after we had noisy houseguests for a lengthy time. I immediately started getting heart palps; then hypersensitivity to noise a few weeks later; and then major sleep loss after a month. When I tried stopping these meds I began having panic attacks at night along with these weird twitches I had never experienced. I was advised to go back on a higher dose of clonazepam and I dropped the trazodone. This made no difference and eventually my tolerance grew stronger. Over the next several weeks, other drugs were introduced to combat the crippling insomnia and twitches at night... gabapentin, propanolol celexa, doxipen and Seroquel. I only stayed on the gabapentin and celexa consistently and once I figured out that the clonazepam was the devil drug, I weaned myself off the clonazepam over a 2 month period. I stayed on the other two meds. Day one off of Clonazepam (September 3, 2015) was beyond horrific. I immediately went into full blown withdrawal and had just about every symptom you can imagine. Dripping sweat, hallucinations, IBS, screeching tinnitus, panic attacks, spasms, twitching, weight loss, shaking, tremoring, akasthesia, horrible mental symptoms, burning, constant dry cough, tachycardia, weakness, couldn't breath or even walk a block, dizziness, AND COMPLETE INSOMNIA with worsened jerks/jolts/shocks at the moment of sleep. Even though I was still taking celexa and gabapentin, it did not do a single thing to help any of my symptoms except for the burning skin (gabapentin mildly helped that). At two weeks off clonazepam, a neurologist told me to get off the other 2 drugs so I did just that. I was still in complete hell so I did not notice any increase in symptoms. At that point I was becoming suicidal from zero sleep so I tried a "calming" form of marijuana. This sent me into a horrible mental state with worsened muscular symptoms, so I checked myself into a pych ward the next morning. I was placed on Seroquel, gabapentin and clonidine. With the combo, I was able to sleep up to 3 hours per night. I did this for 2.5 months until the Seroquel stopped working. I was able to transition to mirtazapine and got about the same amount of sleep with that drug. I tapered off of that one and became totally drug free at exactly 6 months off of Clonazepam. Miraculously, the very month I was drug free I was sleeping 4-6 hours each night and that continued until month 9 which ended up being absolutely horrendous. Since then, my months have been up and down, with mostly downs. As of right now, I am in an 8 day wave where I am only sleeping 1-2 hours each night. The shock/jerks/surges I get are torturing me!! I can have them every 1-3 minutes at night. As soon as I doze off, BAM! I am slammed with what feel like a muscle contraction or jerk followed by an intense surge to my chest that radiates throughout my body. I have many sensations each night, but that one has been most prevalent this week. Other symptoms that I continue to have on a constant basis are burning skin, tinnitus, fatigue, depression, POTS, some spasming/twitching during the day and tremors in my feet. All of these are just a nuisance in my life (except the depression which is sleep related) and I would not be on this forum if it were not for the debiltitating sleep issues that I continue to suffer from. I was never depressed or anxious prior to taking these meds. I was absolutely loving being the mother to my two little girls before this happened. I worked part time, I was hosting parties, traveling, camping and taking care of a large home just prior to getting sick. This was never post partum anxiety like my original doctor tried to make me believe. I am outraged that she diagnosed me with that!! Please, please, please... If anyone here has had these damn shocks and jerks at night the way that I have, can you contact me? I have found two other people like this but that alone hasn't given me the hope I need to believe this ends. I seem to be the most severe case with this awful disorder as I have such an array of sleep starts that tear me out of "almost" sleep. Thank you for reading.
  14. I'm having a hard time taper off 2.5 mg of zyprexa. I went every other day for 7 days then quit taking it and only managed to go two nights before insomnia and anxiety kicked in. I'm on zyprexa for sleeping anyway, is there hope for me getting off this drug?
  15. Hello and thank you in advance for any help and support you can give me. I'm struggling, but I'll try to make it brief. I am 44 yrs old.I was diagnosed Bipolar II in June 2015 after an extremely stressful few years that led to a breakdown. It's been almost two years and I have tried 9 different drugs in various cocktails. (Lamictal, Wellbutrin, Lithium, Zoloft, Seroquel, Gabapentin, Klonopin, one that starts with an A that I can't remember, and another that I can't remember at all.) I told my pdoc from the outset that I am very, very sensitive to all medications. Most of the medications didn't work due to awful side effects or the medication just not metabolizing like it does in people that it helps. So, in a nutshell, there has been no improvement in the two years since I started meds. I feel...different, but in no way better. For over a year now, I have been suffering with this horrible, horrible, horrible feeling where everyday, on and off all day, I will get a wave of high anxiety that lasts anywhere from 30 seconds to a few minutes, and that is followed by a very brief wave of almost euphoria that lasts about 15 seconds and then I feel just "normal" anxiety/depression until the next wave. This is a terrifying and exhausting way to live and it seems to be cyclical which makes me think it's the medication. I have an extremely difficult time waking up in the morning (Seroquel) and can't even get out of bed no matter hard I try before 10a.m. I'm groggy and not even functional for a good hour or two. Around 1 in the afternoon, the first waves begin to hit. They are more mild at that time. Then it peaks around 6-8p.m. and then is more mild again until I go to bed. My symptoms are also affected by my menstrual cycle. A few days before my period I am usually hypomanic and the week after my period is a nightmare of depression/anxiety and derealization. (The derealization is the WORST.) In March 2017, I started a low carbohydrate diet to feel physically healthier. I think this is relevant because holistic therapy often supports a low carbohydrate, whole foods approach. My pdoc doesn't think it has any effect, but I feel physically healthier, so I want to stick with it. As you can see in my signature, I know that I am tapering too quickly. I know it's counterproductive, but I am just SO SO desperate to make the daily waves stop. It is exhausting and terrifying and I just can't take it anymore. I feel like these meds are poison in my veins. I am less functional now than I ever was. I have tapered off the Gabapentin and lowered the Lamictal on May 10th. I have felt no different. Not better. Not worse. Last evening, I decreased the Seroquel from 300 to 275 and today I feel pretty awful. Anxious, racing thoughts, and derealization (not altogether here). I have used the Klonopin on and off over the last two years, taking it I'd say an average of a few times a months .5 - 1mg/day. Usually preventative for things I know will cause anxiety or if I'm having a difficult time falling asleep. I'm just not sure where to go from here. The Seroquel is going to be the hardest, I know. When my pdoc prescribed it, I had horrible side effects within 1 week, she stopped it, and I went off the rails, so she put me back on it at a lower dose and upped it slowly. But the more I research, the more I feel like it's the meds causing most of my problems. I tried to keep this organized. If you got this far, thank you for sticking with me. I just need someone to shake me and talk some sense into me. Lol.
  16. Moderator's note: Link to FreeWilly's benzo thread Hello. I have been on klonopin for 20 years. I am doing the daily liquid micro taper and have reduced from 2.5mg daily to 1.6mg . I was in tolerance for a longtime before I knew what was happening to me. I'm really suffering mentally and physically and need some advice. I didn't expect this to be easy but I see other people have been able to do this and still function. I am to sick to work and basically do nothing but lay in bed. I get short periods where thing start to feel better but they don't last long and are followed by an increase of symptoms. Can someone respond to me? I hope I posted this in the right place. Thank You
  17. Hi-thanks for the join! I feel like I'm on this never ending journey to feel better. Long story short, about two years ago I had PPA with the birth of my daughter. Was on klonopin for a few months and Zoloft for a year. Got off fine, no issues. Fast forward to last November, started having terrible sleep issues and found out I was preg but it was ectopic. Had methotrexate and started back on Zoloft and klonopin. I worked up to 200 mg of Zoloft and 1.25 mg of klonopin. I cross tapered w gabapentin, for about five weeks-highest dose was 1200 mg for a week. I'm now on 25-50 of trazodone at night for sleep and 150 mg of Zoloft. I don't think it's working as well as it should this round. I also have these weird pings in my legs. Like someone is flicking my calves. I also have tremors in my hands. I'm wondering what is causing this?! My doctor is considering changing to Prozac or a higher dose of traz so I can use it for both anxiety and sleep. Anyone on just traz? I'm just over it, nothing seems to be doing the trick. My husband is out of town and last night the traz did nothing and I only got 4 hours of sleep ???? What to do?! Thanks
  18. I took one dose of snri venlafaxine 50 mg for my panic disorder it relieved by chest pain and breathing difficulty after only one dose it also gave me serotonin syndrome and i stopped after that and after 20 days i started feeling withdrawal symptoms i was disoriented chronic headche couldn't fall asleep alienated feeling completely suicidal so i went into ER and they diagnosed me as depression then after i was put on 50 mg of nortriptyline and .5 mg of klonopin for three months and after that i tapered off in one month its been three months now im not at all gettin any withdrawal symtomps iam afraid of getting delayed withdrawals from these medications becas one dose gave me unpleasent withdrawal iam afraid how will be the withdrawal of taking drugs for months is it possible to get withdrawals after 6 months from stopping or after one year from stopping???
  19. I am very sensitive to SSRIs post pregnancy but was put on one for anxiety. Prior to,I was taking 20mg Lexapro with no side effects. Now, I am on 5 mg (took me two weeks at 2.5 mg to get up to this). I have been on for about 2 months. I haven't even been on a high enough dose long enough to feel full benefits...some glimmers of hope now and then but I have experienced some very dark clouds and worsening anxiety since starting and I have lost so much weight. My head feels like it is going to explode and I just want out. I have never felt this way on it before. However, every time I try to stop, my body aches and I start panicking. I tried stopping before after just a month and crashed big time so I started the low dose again. Will I be worse off if I try to stop now since I haven't even stabilized or reached a therapeutic level? Any tips are GREATLY appreciated! Stephygrrl Lexapro-5mg, Klonopin .5, Lunesta 300
  20. I'm 5 months off Clonazepam. Was total hell! Was on only 2.5 months. Before that was Ativan. I was misdiagnosed as bipolar. I suffered almost a year on bad reactions from antidepressants and antipsychotics before being put on ativan then clonazepam. I'm in my 5th month of being off all the drugs. I'm wondering if anybody else has had a fear of never being able to drive again or being alone again? Does it go away? I tried driving by myself and it's really scary. It seems I can only get so far before fear kicks in. And I'm scared to be left alone. It seems like 3 weeks ago the bad anxiety and bad thoughts came back. I NEED hope!! I feel like I'm going to be like this forever!
  21. ozzyz


    Need some advice. Was given 15 milligrams Zyprexa in the hospital for anxiety and depression. Been on 15 milligrams for one month. Stopped taking it because of restless legs and now my anxiety is back very high. Should I have tapered off after only being on 4 One month. Is this just my withdrawal or original anxiety returning. My doctor wasn't much help he basically just said that I could have anxiety again after stopping the medication but did not tell me that I needed to taper from it. Also taking Prozac for a past 5 weeks 20 milligrams a day. And two milligrams clonazepam.
  22. Hello, My name is Dennis and I have been on Ssri antidepressants for ten years. I am 24 years old and I have Autism along with depression and anxiety. Just last week, my doctor put me on Welbutrin XL 150mg and had me take 50mg of Zoloft, my normal dosage being 100mg. She wants me to stay on that for two weeks, then go off, as she said that Welbutrin will help. I have gone through ssri withdrawals before, and I always got the usual brain zaps, increased anxiety and depression, and more agitation. I feel that two weeks is not enough to completely taper off an ssri, so that is why I am here. I will post my day by day progress on here. Any advice would help. Thank you, Dennis
  23. 70chevyguy

    70chevyguy: my story

    Hi all, I've been lurking quite a while and finally signed up and wanted to tell my story. I began experiencing a lot of anxiety toward August of last year (2016). I had no idea what the cause of it might be, but the mental aspects of it were frightening for me. The anxiety began to latch onto all the bad things that I had done in my life. Not a lot of fun. The only thing that seemed to help the anxiety was drinking alcohol. I was really more of less just binge drinking on the weekend to a certain extent. Always drinking enough for the anxiety to go away, but not enough to black out or really have hangovers the next day. But my consumption had increased because of tolerance and I was drinking a lot. Probably about 15 8% abv beers a weekend. I drank a good many days around Thanksgiving and on two occasions, I woke up at night with sweats and a racing heart. I only attributed it to the thoughts in my head that had attached itself to my anxiety. I didn't think about the fact that it might be mild withdrawals. On both occasions the withdrawals happened about two days after drinking. So after the 2nd time, this happened, I went to the doctor and was very down and out and told him about my anxiety. I stopped drinking because I wasn't enjoying it anymore and I haven't had anything since this spell after Thanksgiving. I still didn't think about the fact that the alcohol use might be causing the anxiety/depression. He prescribed Citalopram and Klonipon, which I had taken one other time about 5 years ago for a few months and recovered quite nicely from. So, I started taking 10 ml of Citalopram for the first 7 days and Klonipon as needed (only took the klonipon for a couple of weeks). After 7 days, I moved up to 20ml of citalopram, and really started to struggle to sleep. I remember about 10 days into these meds, I really had a bad episode where I feel asleep during the day on a Saturday and awoke to a panic attack. I began really thinking what the heck has happened to my life? I was healthy and happy. A lot of great things were going on for me. And now I felt like dying. I really didn't really think that maybe my drinking habits were in fact the cause of the anxiety until after I started the citalopram. Looking back, I really wish I hadn't started it and just gave myself some time free off of the binge drinking to see if the anxiety and depression went away. The depression really kicked in bad about the time I started the Citalopram or just before due to the anxiety. The Citalopram gave me no relief at all for either of the depression and the anxiety. It only made it worse I think because I couldn't sleep. And when I was awake, I was still depressed and the medicine made me feel like a freaking zombie. It was during this time that I put 2 and 2 together and thought you know, maybe the alcohol was the cause of all of this anxiety and I didn't even need the meds? So after 2 months, I finally had my followup with the Doctor and told him this. He wanted to switch me to Cymbalta. I refused and started tapering down on the Citalopram. I tapered over 3 weeks from 20 to 15 to 10 to 5 and finally none (I was on it for about 8 weeks before this taper). I did have the dizziness and the headaches, heart palpations, tinnitus, and minor zaps. After a couple weeks, I started having some crying spells. At least 4 of those. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks since I took my last 5 ml. Finally, in the past 7 days, I've had some good days, but am still having some periods of anxiety and some depression and grogginess. I've began jogging again at what was a more normal schedule for me and it has helped to lift my mood most days. And I've begun to see a therapist who I saw 5 years ago, who helped me get out of the first funk. I asked him about the AD's and he said don't take them, they are no more effective than a placebo. However, due to my current state of mind, he is worried that I may have some "soft" bipolar tendencies. (my mother is bipolar). I am wondering if it might be AD withdrawal causing me to feel this way. I don't know. I just hope that I can get through this stage in my life and get back to feeling the normal me again. Again, I am seeing some light at the end of the tunnel now, which is a lot more than I saw a couple weeks ago, but when these waves hit, it's hard to think that I am going to recover. I do remember feeling like this 5 years ago after getting off citalopram the first time. I can also remember saying to my wife after 6 months after getting off it, that i really felt good. Thanks you guys for reading this. Any feedback would be appreciated.
  24. Currently taking 40 mg Prozac (fluoxetine), approx 1.5 mg Ativan, and 600 mg Gabapentin for nerve pain. The gabapentin is new (2-3 mos) after a year of awful nerve pain in feet. I am convinced it is related to 12+ years of Klonopin/Ativan (either intra-dose withdrawal or just exhausted receptors, because it would subside with extra Ativan). Basically always low and tired, with intermittent awful anxiety and despair. Can will myself to do things but get exhausted. Foot pain flares up occasionally. Need Ativan to sleep and have weird spacey dreamy sleep. Also being treated for adrenal exhaustion: basically, no cortisol at all. Low serotonin, GABA, dopamine, very high epinephrine. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- I was first prescribed Klonopin in 2001 for anxiety and IBS symptoms, which were causing me to lose weight. I also needed it for sleep in unfamiliar or stressful situations. I didn't take it regularly until around 2004 (0.5 mg and never increased), and twice switched to Ativan, back and forth. I disliked the nightmares I often got from Klonopin, but found the same issue with Ativan. I was diagnosed with major depression in 2011, and given different AD's like Pristiq, Abilify, Wellbutrin, and Prozac. The Prozac is the one I tolerated best so I have stayed on it except for about a year in 2015 when I tapered off it because I didn't feel any better. Wanted to use acupuncture and diet for mood swings. But I felt worse without it and was weepy and overwhelmed. Back on Prozac in 2016, doc went straight to 40 mg. She wanted to try other things for sleep but I didn't want to add something new when I knew I couldn't stop Ativan. Foot nerve pain finally diagnosed and treated with gabapentin, no one mentioned that this is even more GABA receptor confusion. I'm exhausted and don't know how to make changes without major symptoms and crises.
  25. I am new to this site and would like to introduce myself and get some support. I have been on antidepressants for 21 years and have struggled with them and trying to go off of them. I have always followed doctors advice and it has hurt me. Currently I tapered down to 10 mg of celexa very fast over the last year after many updoses to 80mg at one time. I have been at 10mg for 9 weeks and having horrible adrenaline all day and night. This began a few years ago and is getting worse. I was also directed to stop temazepam 15mg 9 days ago after 2 months of use. I didn't know it was so addictive otherwise I would not have taken it. I have had sporatic benzo use over the years but nothing more than small doses used infrequently about 4 times in 20 years. I do not know what to do now. I have been experiencing withdrawal symptoms for so long, should I hold at 10mg and wait for stabilization or up dose the celexa. I am struggling quite a bit and can't write as much as I would like. Any support would be appreciated.
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