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  1. Hi. I finally have built up the courage to try and stop taking antidepressants, under the guidance of my doctor. I have been on many antidepressants in the past for GAD and panic disorder. IHopping from one to another. For the last 8 years I have been on lexapro 10mg. As well as Klonopin ,5 at night. (I am not reducing the Klonopin yet). I am very scared to do this as I once tried when taking cymbalta and I turned into a mess and ended up on mitrazapam which was a zombie drug for me. Anyway, I am down to the 5mg of lexapro for three days now. Nothing too serious happening except headaches. I am hoping they go away soon. My doctor advises I take 5mg for two weeks and then just stop taking it. I'm kind of nervous to do this after having my brain 'altered' by antidepressants for so many years. So I guess my first question would be is, has anyone been on medication this long consistently and stopped taking it? I am not looking forward to brain zaps or shivers. I have two little ones I have to care for and I don't have time for that. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!! Thanks
  2. Hello I never had any anxiety issues. I had a sinus surgery in 2006 and after 1 year I started feeling heaviness in my head. I got all the medical test and everything came out perfectly normal. It was 2011 when this heaviness started to effect my sleep. Though the situation was not severe but I am very cautious about my health. So I went to a neurologist he gave me some anti depressants. I was unaware about these medications. I was changing the city and my doctor said it to take it for 2 years. I successfully tapered 2 medicines and the last one was escitalopram 10mg. Reduced the dose to 2.5mg without any withdrawal. But after tapering off, my life changed completely. Coudn't sleep for 1 month which affected my work and increased my anxiety. Tried some sleeping pills(Zolfresh) but nothing helped. Then I realized I was taking antidepressant and that could be the reason behind it. I went to a psychiatrist in may 2015 and she prescribed remeron(7.5mg), escitalopram 10mg, klonopin(0.5 mg). Started sleeping from day 1 and I started doing great in life. In 2016 I successfully tapered off escitalopram 10mg & klonopin(0.5 mg). After 4 months on 18 Jan 2017 I reduced my remeron from 7.5 to 3.75 and sleep distubances started.from 26 Jan. My doctor increased the dosage from 3.5 to 11 mg. It didn't help. Yesterday I took 15 mg pill and I slept. I have a nice job but I am unable to focus on my work. I am in India and I have received an admit from 2 universities in USA. Course is starting in August 2017. I prepared very hard for the entrance exam last year and don't want to miss the opportunity to study there. I have 2 queries 1) Shall I stay in India and give up on my dreams of studying from a reputed USA university? Yoga is very popular here and I have heard that it is very effective in treating depression. 2) Shall I accept the admit and go to USA? I know I may get well in next 2 weeks but I am scared that my insomnia and depression can return in USA when I ll start tapering again? PS - Doctors screwed my life. Surgery was not required in 2006 and anti depressants were not required in 2012
  3. Hey everyone, I have been in a slow taper for about a year and a half from 2mg of Klonapin to .25 for about a month now. When I decreased from .5 to .25 I suffered terrible withdrawal symptoms. I am just starting to feel a little better, but I want to plan for my next decrease and I am having a very difficult time. My Dr has not recommended switching to diazepam and I don't want to make a change since I feel close to the finish line and I just picked up a refill. I am confused about the whole 10% reduction, because none of my dr's have been that specific about the decrease and obviously it will be a challenge with this medication and the small size of what I am working with. Could anyone offer advice on what this final stage should look like? I am not looking for medical advice, just a ballpark idea of how I should approach it. I have seen the mix it at home stuff above, and don't want to do that either. Should I find a compounding pharmacy? Am I as close to being done as I think or is the 10% thing mean I still have a while to go? I have been all over the web and spend considerable time on this forum today as well. Thanks in advance!
  4. Hi Courageous ones. I'm happy and frightened to be here. I'm new, 56, not tech or math savvy. Dx 1986 Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Panic Disorder, Major Depressive Episodes. Prescribed Xanax for 30 years beginning 1/4 mg 3 times per day as needed and ending prescription 1 mg/ day as needed. The highest dose I ever too was 1/2 mg, three times a day but always at least 1/2 mg per day towards the end, then hit suddenly stopped working, was taken off, experienced severe PAWS for 3 weeks and psychiatrist then put me on Klonapin 1mg, twice a day which I take faithfully and have been on for 5 months now with two, unsuccessful taper attempts in the time as I was cutting to much to quickly even though it was doctor's advice. ANTIDEPRESSANTS ;( in order of being prescribed over 30 year course); Desipramine, Parnate, Prozac, Trazadone, Paxil, Celexa, Cymbalta, Remeron, currently Trintellix 15mg once a day. I'm sure their may be others I've forgotten. Since Xanax tolerence and severe PAWS in autumn of 2016, I have had to for lose on my home!E, move in with elderly parents, surrender pets, give up professional career and placed on government disability (1/3 my job pay) and having many financial woes. I would like to start to taper the Klonapin off successfully then, about a year after that, taper Trintellix antidepressant. Is this sound or is it better to taper the antidepressant first? All knowledge, experience, encouragement and tips are accepted with gratitude. Peace & Love, Mellow please
  5. Hi everybody, my name is Larch. First, I'm really grateful that a site like this exists! I have a question about Cymbalta, and possibly over-quick tapering. Here's a timeline of my relationship with Cymbalta. Late Nov 2016: Started Cymbalta at 30mg along with 2mg Klonopin and 3mg Lunesta for mild depression Dec 13: Cymbalta upped to 60mg Dec 22: Belatedly googled about the stuff that Cymbalta can do to you, panicked and cold-turkeyed Dec 24: Dizziness, headaches. Took 30mg, took another 30mg 4 hours later. Was feeling mostly ok by 6 hours later. Dec 25: Woke feeling fine. Took 30mg. Feeling fine 10hrs later. Hoping to take 30mg daily. From reading this forum and elsewhere, I understand that cutting my dose from 60mg to 30mg is not something one should do. What I'm desperately wishing for is that the fact I was on 60mg for only 10 days will enable me to do this, starting my slow taper at 30mg instead of 60mg. Based on a 10% per month reduction, that would add more than half a year to my existing month of Cymbalta taking, something I expect would increase the difficulty of my 30>0 taper drastically. So... was even 10 days on 60mg unforgivable?
  6. I'm a man in my late 40's. For most of my life I have been healthy and active. Roughly three years ago I found myself falling into depression after business difficulties. I tried to stay active and take a drug free approach, but the depression worsened to the point where I sought the help of a psychiatrist. I was prescribed Lexapro and Ativan, which I took for about four months, then decided they were not helping and quit cold turkey (big mistake). I went into a state of constant panic, horrible insomnia, unbearable depression and too many other symptoms to list. My psychiatrist tired other antidepressants but I found I could not tolerate them. The only med that provided some relief was Klonopin, but I soon found I was needing to increase the dose. I was not warned about tolerance and withdrawal. I finally got on the internet and learned about the dangers of benzos then tapered off Klonopin over 10 months, but never stabilized no matter how long I held a dose for. Earlier this year the depression and anxiety became so overwhelming I was willing to go to an inpatient psychiatric ward and received ECT along with with a cocktail of meds. The ECT did not work and after the horrible effects I've suffered I was to scared to keep taking the meds. My condition continues to worsen. A year ago I could go for a jog or attend a yoga class, go to the market, and basically take care of myself. Now I struggle to do even a short walk or prepare a meal. I'm in a horrific state that I don't have the words to describe. My brain is constantly going 1000 miles an hour with panic and dread. It's difficult for me to focus on anything for longer than a minute. I feel intense pressure in my head, like it's being squeezed in a vice or being filled with cement. My back, neck and shoulders often become painfully tense. I'm nearly bedridden and my physical health is deteriorating. Insomnia is taking a huge toll on my body and mind. Before the meds and I had been a great sleeper (asleep before my head hits the pillow). Now I'm lucky to get more than 2 hours of broken sleep a night. My GP has no idea how to help me. I've been to 3 neurologists and at least a half dozen psychiatrists, none of whom are willing to entertain the idea that my condition could have been brought about by SSRI/Benzo withdrawal. At this point I probably need to be back on meds but which meds and how can I find a doctor I can trust after my horrible experiences? Is it even possible to heal form a cold turkey w/d of a benzo+AD? I'd love to hear form someone who survived and how they accomplished it. I'm hoping someone on SA can recommend (via PM) a trustworthy doc on the west coast (U.S.) preferably in the Seattle or San Diego areas. Thank you in advance, May you all be free of suffering and find peace.
  7. First I apologize ahead of this is worded awkwardly as I'm not in the best of places. Was tapering K until major abdominal surgery Sept 2014. Developed a near fatal spinal infection from surgery then had to taper off three narcotics from that and then baclofen. Two weeks after baclofen wd ending I cut on the bz taking me to 1.375 of K. (Start dose was 12mg K as of 2011) A few weeks later I cut K again in a small cut. I had to go back up to 1.375 as I couldn't cope. Realized I'd pushed myself too hard and health was deteriorating both physically and mentally. I've been holding on cutting everything and now I have to move probably January 1 of 2015. I am alone in every respect of the word so I have to be able to look after myself. How this relates to antidepressants is that after looking at the fact I am on 100 mg of Amitrip and how it interacts with other drugs I'm on (PPI, acid blocker, thyroid and BP med) I'd pretty much decided it wud b best to get off the amitrip before finishing the benzo taper. I have been doing reading on here about tapering Amitryp and I came across something saying that one should not taper Amitryp if tapering a bz. This was not meaning both at the same time but regarding the entire process of tapering both separately. I've scoured this site and for the life of me I cannot find this info again yet I'm positive I read it. This leaves me in a quandary as to what to do... Continue the bz taper or do the Amitrip. I'm open to both of course but want to proceed safely. I am aware of all slow tapering facts so that is not the issue. The issue is which to do safely first. All this is complicated by this move. I've been holding on the last K cut for a bit over two months to regain physical strength. In this time I've yet to begin having anything close to a restorative sleep and I'm experiencing really crazy stuff I've not before in the now 5 years I've been tapering. Its reached a point I go a night without any sleep at all. The next night I'll sleep and then half the morning. I'm becoming a total wreck and I've got this move. I realize this point probably covers a ton of "issues" that perhaps need be dealt with separately but I'm unable to do so in the mindset I'm stuck in now. I feel at the point of crisis. Plainly and simply I don't know what to do. Any insight is appreciated especially in regard to whether taper bz or Amitrip given what I'm positive I read on here as to it not being wise to taper amitrip if in the middle of a bz taper. Thank you so very kindly ahead of time for any help. I'm losing hope. This has been a very lonely journey and I'm without support at all except online. Thank you again.
  8. Hello, I'm Chad. I'm 28, male. History: My current diagnosis' are major depressive disorder, panic disorder with agoraphobia, and social anxiety disorder. I'm on disability, no longer go to college or work. I've been on anti-depressants since 2001 starting with Zoloft. In 2009, returned to a psychiatrist for re-evaluation, switched to various other anti-depressants, finally settling on Pristiq (desvenlafaxine) at 100mg. Also was put on benzodiazepines, with 3 slow taper attempts, I've always ended up reinstating. I've battled addiction with strong painkillers but for me, nothing could compare to the horrors of benzo withdrawal and I was hospitalized at the end of my last taper attempt for making an attempt on my life only to be put back on 4mg of clonazepam inside the facility. I've been on this dosage ever since and have not considered any further taper attempts since. Why Pristiq to Paxil: My quality of life is at a minimum. I'm not suffering from any withdrawal but I'm also not getting any better. Things are incredibly dark for me. I can't imagine anyone else who could hate themselves more than I do. I have a fear of death but also a fear of putting my family in any similar situation that I'm in now if I were to end my own life. That may be the only thing I respect about myself, the willingness to endure in the most harrowing times. Pristiq isn't working anymore so why should I be on it? The first action I took was adding mood stabilizers/anti-psychotics to my cocktail but I didn't tolerate any of them well whatsoever. The one I was on the longest with Abilify and I ended up with frightening hand tremors where my psychiatrist at the time called me and told me to stop immediately (cold turkey) and I was put on a drug called Congentin. The tremors went away but I guess that fear was that I could have been developing a potentially permanent side effect called tardive dyskinesia. It also caused weight gain. The other option was to speak to electro-convulsive therapy specialist. I denied twice. MAOIs were ruled out for their dangerous side effect but to be honest, I would have tried an MAOI before ECT. I did try to switch to another SNRI at one point, it was called Cymbalta. Another terrifying experience that I could not handle. Instead of trying to switch to Cymbalta again, I asked my doctor about switching back to an SSRI and asked if that could even work and his reply was something along the lines of "of course..." so I he suggested Prozac or Paxil as I've never tried either and I chose Paxil. The schedule he gave me was: Week 1- 20mg of Paxil w/ 100mg of Pristiq (my normal dosage) Week 2 - 20mg of Paxil w/ 50mg of Pristiq Week 3 - 20mg of Paxil w/ no Pristiq It's rapid and I cannot make cuts with this drug, I cannot dissolve this drug, there is a lower dose of 25mg but for whatever reason, he did not add that to the schedule and changing doses is also a financial issue right now. He only had samples of 50mgs and he gave me those for week 2. I am going to follow this schedule and try to document (journal) it here as coherently as I possibly can. I've also ordered a supplement called Phenibut that could ease anxiety as I feel tolerant to 4mg of clonazepam. I've decided to try the lowest dose and only once a week. I currently live with my mother as I cannot afford housing on disability. She is aware of the situation. Neither of know what could possibly happen but I do know that it could be similar to/ or worse than the transition to Cymbalta that I tried about 5 years ago. I'm terrified but the only place I have to drive to is my next doctor's appt. which is in mid February. The one symptom that worries me most is brain zaps/shocks. I experience them if I miss even a day of Pristiq and they are debilitating, you're not able to do much. So this is day 1. I've taken my first 20mg of Paxil about an hour ago. Please feel free to add your input, comments and I could absolutely use any support or encouragement to get through this. My main goal is to be off all medications one day but unfortunately, it's not such an easy path. I don't know if it's a possibility to do it and live normally either.
  9. rocovering

    Rocovering - new member

    I am a 65 year old recovering female alcoholic with history of amphetamines, hallucinogenics, cocaine and cannabis. I have not used any of these substances for 34 years. In recovery, I went into a full-blown four week unrelenting panic attack in 1985 three years sober, and was put on pamelor for the first time for depression and was given ativan PRN for panic disorder. When prozac came out, I was switched to that in 1988 and was on prozac for 8-9 years. I got off prozac and was put on the newer SNRIs off and on for the next ten years, the usual ones, as each new brand arrived on the market.I had a round with wellbutrin in 2004. By that time, I was diagnosed as bipolar, not depressed, and started on topomax and then lamictal, taking the topomax on and off. I was on this combo until 2012 . By this time my ativan was long gone and I was given klonopin BID for breakthrough bipolar symptoms. I developed tinnitus and severe dystonic style muscle spasms in my hands and feet. I had these spasms hit me full body twice and the pain was unreal. I went to Lahey clinic regarding this and was placed on baclofen 10mg BID. I was sick of all this and this last spring was able to get off everything for the first time. Don't ask me how I detoxed as I have no idea, just kept the klonopin for PRN and with that in place went for it. HOWEVER, I was diagnosed with bone on bone arthritis simultaneously with fibro and I was off and running again. I went back on lamictal and klonopin and the.When I reported back to the fibro doc he was upset and me titrate 50 mg a week one week at a time for a total of three weeks. This was in November and when it was all done I flipped into all the detox symptoms. That was when I looked online and found out what was happening. He reluctantly put me back on 50 mg for one week and then gave me 25 mg pills til I see him Jan 17. I was supposed to drop from the 50 mg to 25 mg lyrica two days ago but was really frightened read somewhere about splitting the pills for a slower titration. I did that and yesterday was my second day on 37.5 mg gram. I still am feeling horrible, shaking, anxiety, crying spells, feeling crazy, all the garbage along with horrible nightmares along with anger and agitated too. Unfortunately, I will not have enough of the 25 mg pills to do a 10% titration and I doubt this doc will write another prescription for the lyrica. I also have to deal with getting off the tramadol next and he is the doc for this one. I am sure he will be uncooperative with this also. My psych nurse is willing to prescribe neurontin if it will help. I am still on 100 mg lamictal and 0.5 klonopin every day. I am still taking baclofen when my body says it needs it. Any and all suggestions and support would be a welcome relief. My husband is no support and my mother keeps calling via facetime from Florida three times a day to "chat" and I have to rally up as she is elderly. Just to add to the mix this week, I also have a funeral on Saturday as my brother-in-law died (too young) and this is an already unpleasant situation because of family dysfunction. I apologize for the long post but want you to know me straight up and need as much help as you can offer. I'm sure I've left some out.. Regards, Ro
  10. I had been on cymbalta 60mg for a few months. My doctor took me down to 30mg for two weeks and stopped me. I have been in and out of the hospitals for 4 weeks now. I can not function . Am I past the point of reinstating
  11. flatrock

    flatrock: My Journey

    Hi. My story is a bit complicated, sorry. Much of it is about Klonopin, but my main problems currently seem to be a result of Remeron (Mirtzapine) and a drastic forced reduction of the Klonopin 4 months ago. I apologize if this is the wrong place to discuss Klonopin (chlonazepam). I'm 62. My overall diagnosis for the past 7 yrs is Fibromyalgia. I took 1.0 g Klonopin every night for several years for RLS, and it didn't seem to hurt me in any way. Occasionally my dr increased that dosage, as it is addictive - but I kept insisting on tapering down again. Sometimes I went down to .5 per night. I was very consistent until the past year when many stresses caused huge anxiety and during those times my dr allowed me to take Klonopin as needed. Anyway, I moved to a new area to be near my grandchildren 5 months ago. It triggered extreme anxiety and depression. I went to a new doctor who started me (4 months ago) wham-bam on Cymbalta and Remeron and Tizanadine (a muscle relaxant) (despite my telling him that my old dr had prescribed it for only occasional use for muscle cramps). At the time I was taking Klonopin (1.0) several times per day (6-8 per day) for the anxiety, as approved by my previous doctor. New dr insisted I immediately reduce to 3.0 mg per day. I suffered terribly from the quick reduction of the Klonopin. Jittery, shaky, anxious. That was 4 months ago... still haven't recovered. He started me on 15 mg Remeron, then after one week up to 30mg. Although I liked the emotional effect Remeron gave me, I struggled terribly with crazy restless legs. I hear a certain number of patients get this side effect. It was bad, lasted sometimes a couple of hours. But then some nights I did not have it at all. I began to call it Russian Roullette RLS. To combat this RLS side effect, new dr approved of taking all of my 3 allotted Klonopin at night. I then slept great. BTW, I begged the dr to take me off of the Tizanadine, as it seemed to be causing extra anxiety, so he finally did. I'm back to using that only occasionally. I've been on Cymbalta in the past and feel it is a good medicine for me. However, I suspect that the Klonopin mixed with Remeron caused problems. Or it's just the Remeron, I don't know. But the scariest thing going on for me is an "action tremor." When I am still, you can't see any shaking. But when I use my muscles in any way, I can feel the tremor, and there are certain moves I can do to show others the tremors. Also my heart rate tends to be quite fast - up to 100/minute. I never had that before. But today I meditated and it went down to 72. And my overall shakiness makes me scared and confused... I'm at that age when it could be something serious, but I'm trying to wait it out. My new dr kept saying it must be caused by the Remeron. I've been off of it for a week, and I'm hoping he's right. I'm seeing a psychiatrist now, since my new dr did not want to prescribe the mood medications. A week ago he prescribed my 1.0 Klonopin to be taken - a total of 1.0 - at a steady pace, .25 morning, .25 afternoon, .25 bedtime, .25 middle of night. He thought that perhaps I'm experiencing "withdrawal" during the day by only taking the Klonopin at night, which was a pretty good idea, but it is not making a difference. To further complicate my life, 2 months ago I was diagnosed as prediabetic, so my diet has also changed drastically. I'm not overweight and diabetes does not run in my family... I think I just had a bad year and ate/drank too much sugar. My mom was sick for that year and then died, I had a 4-month anxiety reaction to a normal dose of prednisone, and I moved. Some pretty big stuff. This was really long. Anybody who reads through it - thank you for listening.
  12. Hi - I've been on a myriad of psych meds for PTSD/chronic pain for 31 years. Have only been on Amitryptaline for a SSRI in the past six years, as I tried many antidepressants and they never helped. Tapered off all of them slowly with little problems. Almost two years ago I decided to slowly wean off the 22 meds I was on (includes opiates, benzos, nerve pain meds, muscle relaxers, PPIs, diabetes meds, sleep meds, etc). I am off 17 of them. I went very slow in my taper, taking 6Methadone was easy - 60 mgs in 12 months (but I'm still on Dilaudid). Only two have been hard - Lyrica and now Amitryptaline. Lyrica I went off 250 mgs in 14 months (off since August) and had to do liquid titration due to withdrawal symptoms. Amitryptaline I went off 50 mgs in 2 months - WAY too fast! I've been having withdrawal since starting my taper off Amitryptaline in August, SEVERE withdrawal in the 5 weeks I've been off - depression, anxiety, insomnia, nausea, nerve zaps, crawling out of my skin, adrenal surges, migraines, increased pain. I'm not tapering off the rest of the Klonopin and Dilaudid until this settles down. Any ideas how long the withdrawal will last?
  13. Hello everyone, My name is Marie, age 50. I have been on antidepressants and Clonazepam since the age of 25. I quit drinking and using drugs at age 24 and fell into a depression a year later. I signed myself into a rehab for relapse prevention where I was medicated within a few days. I have been medicated every single day since, nonstop. I am feeling a lot of anger and sadness about how I, and countless others, have been treated/mistreated by the medical/psychiatric profession. I am currently tapering Cymbalta and Clonazepam, since September of 2015. I am using a scale and began at decreasing 5% weekly. That went ok until I made my last tiny decrease of Clonazepam simultaneously (Nov-Dec thereabouts) and hit a brick wall of withdrawals. I decided to hold off on the remaining taper of .125 mg Clonazepam until I'm done with Cymbalta. Maybe I'll try again before then, I don't know. I just want to be done with all of this but I know I need to be safe about it, too. I started tapering Cymbalta at 90 mg and am currently at 24.9 mg. After the last brick wall at 5%, I held for a few weeks then made 2.5% cuts working my way back up to 4% where I thought I was ok. I had decided a couple weeks ago to hold an extra week because I was having anger issues. Well, all kinds of stressors came up - infection in my gum above a front tooth which led to incompetent dentists. And antibiotics. And tooth removaI. I ended up with a C-Diff infection which caused me to experience hellacious withdrawals due to what I believe was malabsorbtion and majorly altered gut flora. It's common to experience emotional symptoms with this illness. The medicine for the C-Diff has a rare side effect of depression and anxiety and sure enough, I felt intense emotional pain, despair and panic. Up until my last dose, last night, I have been hiding in my bed under the covers. I am still shakey and unstable but it's not quite as intense as it has been. I am holding this dose again next week, and longer, if necessary. I am wondering if my underlying condition has overlapped with the withdrawals. That scares me. I have struggled with depression and anxiety all my life, even on the meds. I caved to the meds when I was told I wouldn't ever feel better without them. Honestly, I think I had hormonal imbalances and I think my thyroid and adrenals were a big problem back then just as they are now and have been all along. I am being treated for my thyroid but not the rest. Oh, and there's menopause to join the party... I went through a horrible depression in 2011 that lasted nearly 2 years. I tried switching to Pristique and within 10 days, began having severe panic attacks. So, I went back to Cymbalta. Then, my life blew further apart, I moved us halfway across the country, eventually met a wonderful man, and began what I thought would be smooth sailing. Not so much. I began feeling lousy and decided to get rid of all the rx drugs in my life. I suspect the Cymbalta had been giving me side effects and/or stopped working but I didn't notice it back then because I was taking either Provigil or Nuvigil for most of the time I've been on it. I stopped taking Nuvigil a year ago and began noticing lack of affect, no ability to feel joy, and brain fog. And, zero motivation or interest in anything. Absolutely none. I have a lot of fear right now. Fear I won't recover, fear I'll lose it and do something stupid, fear of depression, fear of anxiety, fear of growing old, fear of doctors, fear of death, fear of being on meds, fear of being off meds, fear of never feeling joy again, fear of brain damage, and the list goes on. I can literally feel my brain trying to right itself after being traumatized these past few weeks. My thoughts are all over the place from the past to the future to random scary weirdness, it's overwhelming. Thank you all for being here, it helps so much. Sorry for the disjointed rambling.
  14. To make this short and sweet, I got put on these drugs by my doctor that was treating me for Lyme Disease as a way to help me feel better through the symptoms and problems of Lyme disease. And of course I believe that this actually made all the problems MUCH worse. Cut to now, I'm ive been on: 1 mg of Klonopin a day, split into 2/0.5mg doses. 450 mgs of Lyrica a day, all at once before bed for sleep. 100 mgs of Tramadol a day, split into 2/50mg doses. 60 mgs of cymbalta a day taken all at once in the morning. Basically before doing my research into the proper speed to taper, I was trying to drop klonopin first and basically had it down to 1/4 of a 0.5mg tablet. But I was feeling terrible as you might imagine because I was tapered down to that from the full amount over just 8 weeks. I though it may have just been lyme disease and feeling bad, but nope...So basically I went back up to the 1mg total again for now as to not completely fall apart mentally and physically. It was making me a nervous anxious wreck, and drained me of all energy, willpower, physical stamina, or physical strength. So now I'm here asking how I should go about getting rid of these medications and in which order please. I want them all gone at some point, but I would just like to get moving on whichever one I SHOULD knock out first etc. Any help would be appreciated. Thank you. Jeremy
  15. Hi. I began suffering from pgad last week. It's quite awful. I arrived at this forum looking for information on this, and it seems many on here have had this problem. I am not currently on or coming off of antidepressants. I was on them as a teen (a long time ago). I'm 33. I was also on ativan and/or clonazepam, and temazepam, up until about a year and a half ago. I wish I could get back on one of these as I wonder if it wouldn't help--I saw a couple people on threads who I *think* were saying clonazepam helped. However, I don't think I could get one of these anyway, as doctors are so reluctant to prescribe them now. Any thoughts on this? Another question I have is could my recent lortab usage have anything to do with the onset of this? Should I stop using this med; and if I do, might it go away, or have I started something that will now stay with me (I realize no one can answer any of this for sure; but I'm interested in your opinions)? Finally, has anyone used topical anesthetics to help with this condition and had any success? I'm considering buying some EMLA or tattooing anesthetic to see if it will help. It's hard to find info on if these are safe for genitals--but one would think so since these are also made for alleviating body-piercing pain and some get their genitals pierced (ouch). Oh and I have had restless leg like some others with this (as does my mother). And this does *feel* a lot like restless leg!! I wish like hell it was in my legs now. I also have been experiencing bladder trouble. In fact, the bladder trouble came about a week or two before the pgad. I have had bladder trouble in the past, however, on and off again in my life (like the restless leg, which has also been off and on again). I hope the pgad will follow suit and be on again off again. . . I'll be ever-grateful for *any* advice and opinions! And I know this is an anti-med site. I totally applaud everyone for getting off the ssri merry go round. I am glad I am off of these and never intend to go back on them. But please if you know of any other kind of med that might help at all, please please let me know. . .
  16. ----------------------------- I have been struggling with panic and anxiety my entire life. I started taking Zoloft in 2010, and have been continuing on it , on and off. Though, now more on. I was able to easily taper off. And go back on without issues. However, last time I went on I also did so with Klonopin. This was due to severe panic attacks that would last days. Moved to Argentina and stayed on Zoloft and Klonopin. Back in the states I dropped from 100 to 90 mg. and did the slow taper off of Klonopin. Long. Had withdrawal. Though I am thinking I also tried to lower my Zoloft with Klonopin and it was too much and too fast. Reinstated both and started the Klonopin taper again. Anyway, I then dropped the Zoloft to 75 mg. I was happy and satisfied. Dealing with Klonopin withdrawal well. Having Windows. Decided to lower the Zoloft to 62.5. And then too quickly to 50. Well, once I hit 50, forget it. Terrible nerve pain, panic attacks. Just all out of whack. I'm now sick and reinstating back to 62.5. And will continue up to 75 if need be. My CNS is all out of whack and I need rest. I got way ahead of myself and I am looking for a community that knows what this is like. I always go into the mind set that I have caused permanent damage. With brain fog, it's hard to manage a plan. It all just seems so overwhelming. My main questions are for people who reinstated and continued a slow low taper. Can I stay at 75 mg until I feel I am more healed or is the damage done? I am 3 days into an increase from 50 to 62.5. Don't want to shock my system by going directly back to 75. Any thoughts or additions are very welcome. Hugs for all. Xox
  17. The first three times I was on klonopin--2002, 2004-2005 and later 2005-2006, I was on a steady dose for longer periods--at least six months--while docs tried to experiment with ADs which I never could tolerate for more than two days. Each time I felt well enough to function and tapered off klonopin after a while rather quickly. The next time in 2009, the klonopin didn't work so I thought I was in tolerance but I realize now I was taking all sorts of GABA acting herbs and supplements on top of it. Then within six weeks my doc convinced me to take Lexapro which made me suicidal. That led to CT of that and K, being put on two other benzos and an AD for a month which I then tapered off of within a few months, then reinstated on K because of akathisia. Stayed on the K for a week before I started a five month taper. Then acute withdrawal in 2011 and protracted for 3 1/2 years. Fast forward to September 2014 where I was given one dose of oral lidocaine which put me back into acute. Four months later, psychotic and suicidal because I couldn't sleep one minute that whole time, I was put in the hospital and given the choice to go to the psych hospital or take Ativan to sleep. I took the Ativan. Within 2 days I started going through worse withdrawal and knew I had to reinstate on the Ativan and start tapering quickly--and within 12 days (unstable) started tapering. Cut 50% in 6 weeks. Went through hell again. Updosed in Feb 2015 and felt better than I've felt in years. But doctor who was going to help me with liquid microtaper wouldn't do it uniless I crossed over to K or V, so I picked K cuz I didn't know V. I started a microtaper May 2015 after holding after the cross for 3 weeks. I was losing 5% a month and feeling like hell the whole time. I couldn't figure out how people said you could be stable and functional while you tapered because I didn't remember what that felt like. In September 2015, doc had me go back up to the 1 mg where I started (I had crossed from 1.75 mg A to 1 mg. K) and then had me updose a week later to 1.25 mg. He told me to hold there for 6 months. I thought he was nuts because I was afraid of tolerance. So after 3 weeks, I had a couple days where I could do normal things again--drive, walk, work and feel like me--so I thought I better start my microtaper again. By Christmas I was so sick, even though I was only tapering 1% from September through the end of the year. I started adding in three to four day holds and I was still crashing mentally and physically. In February, someone told me to go to the long hold support group on BenzoBuddies to read success stories about long holds. I've been holding at 1.20 mg of Klonopin for 4 1/2 months from the 1.25 mg I started tapering from in September. Even after 4 1/2 months, I feel like hell and can't tell what is never having stabilized since December 2014 and what is side effects. I was told by someone in the long hold group that it takes longer to stabilize on K, and because of my history, it may take me longer. Can anyone relate? I'm told it's not unrealistic to think that after a six month hold I could be 80% functional--not perfect, but functional--walking, driving, working. Please--I need some hope! I can't imagine tapering with the way I feel. I wish I could feel like I did in the few days I had after updsoing to 1.25 mg, but it didn't last so I thought I needed to taper right away.
  18. Hello, I'm reaching out to SA as a means of hopefully gaining clarity as to what caused or how I can resolve my insomnia. I get a few minutes to an hour per night since May 8th, 2014. Before that I was an 8 hour sleeper. I was hospitalized in May for hyperthyroidism relapse and slept for a week soundly whilst in hospital. Then I just stopped sleeping when I came back home on the 8th of May. Afterwards, I frequented the ER and ended up hospitalized for another 2.5 weeks due to insomnia and thyroid levels. My thyroid is now regulated, they increased my Klonopin at the hospital by 1 mg, I was given Remeron by a sleep specialist, and I still cannot manage to sleep. I would really appreciate any guidance or help. Thank you!
  19. ImpatientlyWaiting

    ImpatientlyWaiting

    I am currently DRUG FREE as of June 2016 for a total of 13 months Started on Prozac for a situational depression in 1993. Off of it later for a few years then again put on Prozac in early 2000's. Reported many side effects to my Dr. who proceeded to medicate me for side effects rather than take me off. Should have never stayed on for an extended period but he had no plans to remove me and my altered mind never thought well enough to blame the drugs for my health problems. Following are side effects (I incurred) and drugs prescribed: Gut/Constipation/Nausea - Previcid and other RX antacids Anal Fissure (from above) - Surgery Headaches/Migraines - Imitrex Insomnia - Ambien / Ambien CR Increase in appetite / Weight Gain - Loads of peanut butter / steaks / pizza and night eating binges Cold Symptoms/Sinus infections - Antibiotics - Steroids - Allergy shots and meds for years Decreased sex drive - Viagra High Blood Pressure - Lisinopril Was experiencing signs of serotonin syndrome with rage, anger, heart palps, excessive sweating etc.... Started drinking to compensate for the constant agitation from Prozac. Have not drank since I was a teenager and suddenly in my 40's I am drinking like a fish. Finally in 2011 I experienced a severe head injury from a bicycle wreck. Level 3 concussion with seizures. CAT scan did not indicate any visible serious damage. Returned to work 3 days later and started having anxiety issues such as lips, feet and hands going numb, visibly shaking, nausea (still taking 40mg of Prozac after the head injury). Returned to doctor who prescribed Klonopin. Gave me Adderall to be able to focus at work, Ambien CR to sleep, Tamazepam to use with it when that didn't work. Klonopin at 2 mg "as needed" over the next 2 years turned into 4-7 mg a day "as needed". Finally after an international trip the jet lag knocked me down for a few days in which I took no meds essentially cold turkeying myself unknowingly as to the journey I was about to begin. Lost touch with reality. Couldn't think, had no emotions at all. Fog was so heavy but tried to keep going. Remember addressing an auditorium of people at work for 10 minutes and have no clue what I was saying. After weeks and months of bed ridden illness did I discover the benzo connection via Dr. Heather Ashton's website and began a reinstatement of Klonopin with Prozac and began a liquid taper for the next 2+ years. Finally off of all benzos October 2014 and finished my Prozac taper May 2015. Currently have sever CNS damage. Muscle issues with twitching, spasms and extreme tightness. Dark waves of fear and anxiety. Still trying to work in a senior technical role for a large I.T. organization. Have been working remotely for 2 years and taking time off as needed which is weekly. Unable to travel much. Used to be athletic and ride 50+ miles a day on a bicycle, run 10k-15k and half marathons. Trips across the country on motorcycle. Now a trip to the store on a motorcycle will leave me for days recovering from a racing heart, tremors, muscle pain, inability to focus etc... I have improved from being bed ridden. I have windows like the spring of 2016 when I was able to backpack and hike for several weekends thinking as we all do it was over only to find myself back in the wave and struggling to survive today. Thus I have found this place, a place of victims like myself that just want their life back. Want to be normal again and live. As I stated above I am drug free and had a physical Feb 2016. I have gone from 6'1" (my height has not changed) 260 lbs to currently 215 lbs and dropping. BP was 120/80 Intermittent digestive issues but no meds. Insomnia is rare. Congestion most days but no allergy shots, no over the counter meds, no steroids. No need for Viagra but low to none sex drive. Migraines are mild and do not require medication. No health issues reported from physical, no meds, just lots of withdrawal issues tied to CNS issues. RAGE is gone. I am back to being who I was before the meds. A compassionate, loving human being that just doesn't have the ability to relax due to withdrawal. What more can I say. I still see the same Dr. because I want him to see my recovery. He has to see I do not take anything he has prescribed anymore and my physical health continues to improve. I have been taking fish oil and magnesium. Not sure if that is good or not after reading conflicting ideas hear. I wish you all well and healing.
  20. Hi, I am new to this site. I'll go more in depth to my history later, but I'll mainly focus with my medication issues now. Most of my life I have had constant brain fog, mental and physical fatigue, depression, and anxiety. My mind would get fatigued very easily, which limited me to minimum wage jobs. I had problems with alertness and verbal communication (paradoxically) despite making good grades in school and having a high IQ. I have tried, which seems like, nearly every psychiatric med out there. 3 years ago I added 15 mg of Deplin (isolated folic acid) to 150 mg of Wellbutrin. I am also on Trazodone, Loxapine (an antipsychotic), and Oxcarbazepine. After a couple of months the Deplin really revved up the Wellbutrin. I went from sleeping 10-14 hours a night to 5-10 hours a night. I became sort of manic for a few months and started working out 6 times a week. The Wellbutrin made me irritable, angry, and unstable. However, I welcomed the change because I lost about 35 lbs over a year and really felt alive for the first time in my life. Then, I started getting pain everywhere and had to stop working out. When I checked drug.com it listed calf aches, and musculoskeletal chest pain as possible symptoms. That is what i had, plus now, I also have back, shoulder and neck pain, so I am now limited to slow walking and light weightlifting for a workout. I tried reducing the Wellbutrin from 150 mg SR to 100 mg SR. I started having up to 10 PVC's a minute. Luckily, the doctor said 10 PVC's a minute isn't harmful because I am still getting oxygen rich blood with those heart beats. However, the PVC's send a jolt through my body which cause extreme anxiety I can't seem to shake. The pain, and irritability immediately left when I reduced the Wellbutrin, but the anxiety I received from the PVC's was unbearable, so I went back up to 150 mg Wellbutrin, and the PVC's stopped. The pain and irritability immediately returned. Next, I tried raising the Oxcarbazepine (mood stabilizer) to counteract the effects of the Deplin/Wellbutrin. The same thing happened again(PVC's, anxiety), so I lowered the dosage of the Oxcarbazepine, and the PVC's went away. Next, I started shaving little pieces off of the Deplin. It takes about 4-6 weeks for your Deplin blood levels to change when you adjust your dose of Deplin. After 4-6 weeks of the lower dose of Deplin, the pain and irritability left, back were the PVC's. The anxiety was unbearable so I started taking the full dosage of Deplin again. It would take 4-6 weeks for my Deplin blood levels to rise, so I was stuck with PVC's and anxiety until then. My Psychiatrist prescribed Klonopin to deal with the anxiety. It worked and gave me relief for an hour or two. after 4-6 weeks my Deplin blood levels returned to previous levels. The pain, irritability and energy were back, but the PVC's stayed this time. After trial and error, I found a beta blocker that reduced the PVC's somewhat. Then, I tried to quit the Klonopin. The withdrawal symptoms were unbearable (nausea, fever-like feeling, anxiety). Luckily, I was on a low dose (.75 mg). Through much suffering I got down from 1 1/2 pills to 1 1/4 pills (.625 klonopin). Now I am stuck on .625 mg Klonopin, 150 mg Wellbutrin SR, 15 mg Deplin, a beta blocker, loxapine, oxcarbazepine. After a while my body even adjusted to the beta blocker, and the PVC's returned with up to 5 or 6 a minute at times. I am now working with a dietitian, and have started reading about nutrition. I have been eating healthily for the last 2-3 weeks and my PVC's have decreased dramatically. Next week, I am meeting with an eastern medicine/acupuncturist who worked wonders with my friend who has MS. He took her from excruciating pain and 16 Western medication, to one Western medication and feeling better than she has in years. He did this with herbs, healthy eating, meditation, and acupuncture. So I feel like I am on the right track. However, I am still on all of these damn medications and facing potential horrific withdrawal symptoms when I try to kick them. The medications are working synergistically with the Deplin and with each other. Recently, I tried kicking the Trazodone and I started getting around 10 PVC's/ minute, so I am stuck on this synergistic medication cocktail. It seems like my body and heart have gotten use to this adrenaline overdrive, and do not want to stray from the status quo. One other thing, I am afraid to return to my previous zombie-like, energy-less existence, so I almost don't want to go off the meds, but I know I must. Please, please, please, if you can offer any good advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading, John
  21. Introducing myself. I recently weaned off Klonopin after taking 1mg daily for 3 years. That withdrawal was not too bad. I am now trying to wean myself off 150mg of daily zoloft. I've been on this for 2 years. Since I began taking medication for anxiety and depression I have gained a total of 40 pounds. I'm now at 100mg a day for the last week. I'm checking in with my dr this week. So far I find myself extremely sad about events that happened more than 6 months ago. Something I haven't even thought about in a while. I'm joining to hopefully hear light at the end of the tunnel. Happier times and weight loss success would also be nice.
  22. I have been on these drugs for almost two years now. I didn't know how dangerous they were until tried getting off of Klonopin. I had to get back on until I restabilized. Which was recently. Ion plan on getting off Klonopin and remeron, but I've been advised to do Klonopin first.
  23. Hi All, I'm in dire straits. Trying so hard to wean off of klonopin. Was at a high of 2 mgs for a month or so, after starting down this horrible road back in November of 2013 ("1 mg - as needed"). This eventually turned into 1-1.5 mgs "as needed" which was just about every day. Currently stuck at 1.25 mgs with too many physical and mental symptoms to list. My first sign of tolerance - slight ringing in the ears - began in January 2015. The docs told me it was just stress. Had a complete breakdown in late May 2015 and was bumped up to 2 mgs of klonopin and also 25-then-50 mgs of zoloft. That's when the insomnia kicked in. Gradually weaned off the zoloft by mid-August, while also dropping back down to 1.5 mgs klonopin. Within a couple weeks I was down to 1.25 klonopin. Then back up to 1.35 for 6 weeks (symptoms got a little better), and now stuck at 1.25 for the past month and suffering miserably. Somehow still working, but barely, and only because I have a family to support. In summary: due to the improvement is sleep once Zoloft was removed, I likely tapered the klonopin too aggressively in the beginning. As mentioned above, I've been holding at 1.25 for a month now. Never really stable throughout the entire process. Working with a compounding pharmacy to provide 3 equal doses per day. Not sure what to do, other than hold at this dose, pray for some stability, and then start reducing *very* gradually. Others have mentioned a crossover to valium (Ashton method), thinking that perhaps klonopin is just too difficult for my body and brain to heal from. Stuck and miserable and afraid.
  24. I've suffered from dissociation for about 7 years now. It was so bad I would be gone for 2-3 weeks at a time. Last time I was listed as missing person for 2 months. Well they got my medication under control simple depokote 500mgx2 and kolopin 1mgx3 seems to control the stress and anxiety that cause those spells. So 10 days ago, I'm remodeling my house and while I'm sleeping one of my friends or ex gf steal my new bottle of kolopin. I file a police report immediately. I goto the ER and get enough pills to last until I can get into to see my Dr. So when I see my doctor, which he wasn't in, but his nurse told me policy was no early refills even with police report. Because ppl can sell them.or whatever and report it stolen. So for a few days life was ok, then I wake up last night some where I dont know. I don't know what I've done. I'm at home now worried to death. My doctor won't refill the only meds that keep my anxiety level down to stop those episodes. What can I do? What should I do? I'm scared I'll have another episode and do something stupid again. I have an appointment with my doctor tomorrow in person. Idk what to say or do. It's like they don't believe anyone.
  25. Hello. I'm Carmen and I am 55 years old. I live in Kansas City, MO. I have been married for 32 years. I have a very supportive husband and family. I was so happy to find this group at a time when I need it most. This is a long story but I'm going to condense it as much as I can. As you can see from my signature, this past year has been a whirlwind of medication changes. I was first prescribed Paxil in 1998 because I was stressed and depressed from dealing with my (then) 13 year old daughter. She was also prescribed Paxil. We both felt better awhile, but after a few months the medication seemed to stop working for both of us. We both did a very rapid taper and suffered some pretty severe withdrawal symptoms, including "brain zaps". In April, 2014. I had outpatient surgery to have a new pain pump installed. (I already had a pain pump since 2008 but it was time to change it for a new one). After surgery I was fine. I went home and felt pretty good until the next day. I woke up in the morning feeling sick and shaky so I went back to bed. I had a hard time getting out of bed for 3 days. I had most of the symptoms of withdrawal so my husband took me to the pain clinic. At that time, we were thinking my pump was not working right. My pain management doctor tested my pump and told me it was working fine. He was pretty sure that my problem was anxiety so he prescribed Klonopin. We went home and I took a whole pill and slept for 36 hours, almost straight through. I felt much better after that episode and I felt pretty good until August. Another episode of all the same symptoms left me unable to function for 5 days. It was then that I had to seek out psychiatric care. I had been having these episodes at least once a month and they would last from one to three days. My Paxil taper in November was very rough because I was still having episodes, plus going through withdrawal from tapering too fast. I have not had an episode since March 30 but I am going through withdrawals from the 10mg Paxil I was put on last March. I have been breaking the pills into halves and quarters. The first week after a drop has not been bad. Just a little nausea and dizziness off and on. The second week has been when the symptoms increase and get worse. Last time I was able to make another drop after 3 weeks. That will not be happening this time. It will be 3 weeks this Friday and I'm still not feeling well. I want to feel well for at least a week before attempting another decrease. My psychiatrist (who is new for me) had suggested half pills for 2 or 3 weeks and then skipping every other day. I told her that wasn't working. I need a much slower taper. Luckily, she is not going to rush me. She told me there is no hurry. Buspar has been helping. I have been needing to take Klonopin more often lately because that is the only thing that helps when I get shaky. I'm trying really hard not to take it much because I don't want to get dependent on it. I have been reading in here for weeks so I decided it was time to post my story. Thank you for reading! Carmen
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