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  1. Missyk

    Missyk

    Nortriptyline 1996-1999 Zoloft 200 mg yr 2000-2012 off and on Clonazepam 1.5 mg 2002-20012 Effexor 50 mg 2002-2003 Respiradol 2002-2003 Lunesta 2002-2004 Ambien 2003 Xanax 2012-2015 Paxil 2015 Lexapro 10 mg 2016-currently tapering very slowly. I'm now on 7.25 and started taper May 2019. Dropped too fast from 10 to 7.5 mg.
  2. Wow! First of all I would like to say how relieved I was to have found this forum. For the years I've been struggling with this I have gotten so tired of other people (including doctors and therapists!) telling me that what I've experienced isn't possible and that I'm either making it all up or still sick. Everything started in my junior year of college. I had struggled with varying levels of depression and anxiety for most of my life, even resorting to SI when I was younger, but had finally hit a point where I thought that I needed some professional help. Looking back, I'm sure that the sudden drop was situational as much as anything. Most of my friends had moved away or graduated, my family was going through some money trouble, and I was working more hours to be able to be more self-sufficient. I started to become more withdrawn and my academics started to drop. I was an A and B student so this was very stressful to me. Thinking I was being proactive and doing the right thing, I went to my school's counseling center who then referred me to the campus clinic. The psychiatric nurse practitioner prescribed Prozac (20mg). About two weeks later I was hit with the worse anxiety I had ever had. I barely left my house unless I had to for class or work, would start shaking at random times, and had near constant chest pain. I tried to wait it out but eventually gave up and went back. She switched me to lexapro(20mg). This seemed to do the trick so I stayed on it though the end of the semester and over the summer. Unfortunately, when I started back up at school I started to struggle again. I'd tried to make positive changes in my life: made some new friends, got in contact with old ones, and started trying to date. Then, as it happens all too often in college, the guy I was seeing got me drunk and took advantage. This led to me having a bit of a breakdown and my friends urged me to go to the hospital. While there they switched me to zoloft(50mg), remeron(15mg), and lorazapam(2mg as needed). This is where things start to get really wonky. At first I thought it was helping but about a month after I got out of the hospital I started having these intense intrusive self-harm thoughts. Violent and strong enough to scare me. I had a medication review and those three were dropped and I was put on WellbutrinXL(150mg). Again things were better for a little while but about a month later started to go south. The intrusive thoughts were back and I had started to feel very unlike myself. Impulsive and disconnected. I later learned that this was probably a kind of dissociation. One night all of the stress and darkness got to me and I impulsively decided to chase the rest of my pills with half a bottle of vodka. It was strange because I wasn't trying to kill myself, the mindset was more: "I wonder what this will do. It can't be worse that what I'm already feeling." It didn't feel real, like it was happening to someone else. That put me back in the hospital where I then dropped out of college and moved back in with my parents. I had to be on a wait list but eventually I started seeing a new psychiatrist who decided to diagnose me with Bipolar based on the impulsiveness and out of character behavior I had while taking Wellbutrin. She called it agitated depression or mixed mania. At the time I believed her. I was scared, desperate, and seriously doubting my sanity, and I felt like I couldn't trust myself. She started out by prescribing me Abilify(15mg) and Effexor (75mg). This was my second nightmare. A few days later I started having akathisia and had similar feelings of impulsiveness and feeling out of control. When I told my doctor she urged me to wait it out which led to me relapsing into SI for the first time in over 6 years to cope. That combination was obviously stopped and I had the most physical withdrawal symptoms that I had so far. I couldn't leave my bed for two days I was so nauseous and dizzy. I feel like I should point out at this point that I was on most of these medications for max of a few months and didn't taper at all. Cold turkey then right on to another. Next on the list was Latuda(40mg - 60mg). My insurance ended up not really covering that one so what I ended up on as my final medication was Lithium. This was a blessing in a way because it didn't really do anything, which turns out, is what I needed. At one point I was up to 1600mg a day to control my "symptoms" which I'm now convinced was almost entirely side effects mixed with withdrawal. That dose completely destroyed my short term memory. After finally stabilizing, I had gone back to school and this was making classwork almost impossible, so after much debating the dosage was stepped down to 800mg. Finally, in the summer of 2017, I took a summer job working at a research station in the forest. After a lot of solo time hiking in nature I had an epiphany. This was the best I had felt in years and that all of my serious problems started after I sought "help." When I got back to see my doctor I told her my plan to stop taking medication. She was extremely judgemental and basically told me I'd be back when I had a relapse and just told me to tapper off with the what I had left (about a weeks worth). I'm very happy to say that she was wrong. All I've done since then is get better. I still struggle with some depression and anxiety but if that is the trade off I will gladly live with that. After a year and a half of being free of psychiatric drugs I'm surprised at the difference. On medication I was dissociating, having panic attacks, paranoia, and suicidal ideation. I felt like a complete basket case. It's terrifying to me how easy it is to get stuck in a downward spiral like that. Not ONE of the doctors or therapists that I'd seen even considered that the medication could be what was causing me to get worse and worse. They just saw worsening "symptoms" that they had to "get ahead of" and I believed it too. Now, even that the worst is over, the experience still haunts me. I feel so guilty about the way that I behaved and I have no idea how much was my fault versus the medication. I know that it was a factor but I remember making the decisions to hurt myself and destroy my life and I'm not really sure how to live with that. I have nightmares where I'm back in the worst of it feeling like I'm slowly losing my mind and I have permanent scars from the SI. I saw a new primary care doctor recently and the first thing she tried to do was get me back on mood stabilizers after seeing "bipolar" on my chart. I don't know how to get that removed or if I even can. The only people who believe me are my friends and family who saw me go from a somewhat stressed young adult to nonfunctional almost overnight. I know that this hasn't ruined my life... but it certainly feels like it sometimes. I'm sorry that anyone else had to go through this hell but I'm so, so glad that I'm not alone in this. Even now I'm not sure that I'm completely recovered. I guess time will tell.
  3. Been on antidepressants/anxieties on and off since I was 20. I’m 38. Have had episodes of anxiety my whole life. 6 years ago, I was diagnosed with a panic disorder after waking with a panic attack that lasted about a month. I did CBT therapy and got put on celexa. Eventually put on lexapro at 20 mg. Weaned down to 5mg by last year. At that point, I experienced brain zaps, shift eyesight and terrible irritability and rage. Eventually, i got bad at taking the meds. Never at the same time each day, one pill here another pill every three days, etc. I decided to stop taking it. Since I’ve wanted to get off of this for a long time. Felt fine. 4 weeks after, had anxiety and panic that is persistent. I’m 5 weeks off. I am working with an integrative psychiatrist who has me on some good minerals and vitamins and a healthy eating program. I’m to eat a fat, fiber and protein every 2-3 hours to help cortisol and glycemic levels. She said I can take a crumb of lexapro to get through. Or I can take a bit of Xanax when I’m having a really hard time. just got off the phone with a therapist who said I should reinstate liquid lexapro at 1mg until I’m stable. She said this will help the withdrawal symptoms. She also told me a scary story where someone stopped taking the drug and felt fine, then had severe withdrawal 5 months later and couldn’t reinstate so was no functioning for 2 years. I am now petrified. My panic levels are high, as I feel like I’m doomed. i am looking for some kind guidance. Should I reinstate? I feel like the anxiety and the withdrawal symptoms are getting less and less each day. If they are getting less and less, will I be subject to another withdrawal out of nowhere in a few months? how much to reinstate? Can I reinstate after 5 weeks off? thank you. Please be mindful, gentle and kind in responses.
  4. MRothbard

    MRothbard: intro

    Hi Everyone, I've been on and off these drugs for about 7 years. I had almost quit them for good when after taking steroids for an ear infection anxiety returned with a vengeance. This was september 2014. I cut my Lexaprop dose in half about a month ago and seem to be doing fine with it.I'm now taking 10mg of Lexapro and 30mg of Mirtazipine. About a month ago I was feeling sleepy and unmotivated all the time and started drinking coffee again, and then alcohol in the evening. I also thought I could handle cutting the Mirtazipine in half too. Nope. Anxiety and intrusive thoughts big time. ​I've since gone back to my 30 mg dose or Mirt. Quit coffee and alcohol altogether. Eventually I'd like to be off these things but now is probably not the time to start tapering. I'd like to be more stable first. I'm on this forum to get advice on how to do that when the time comes and also to help however I can. Thank you.
  5. Thanks for this forum. Lots read, first post. In September 2017, the 20 mg of Prozac that I had been taking for the 25 years since my Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis started to poop out. In December 2017, my neurologist increase to 30 mg Prozac. In January 2018, I stared seeing. Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner PNP. She wanted me off the Prozac. Tapered from 30 mg to 5 mg from January 2018 to March 31, 2018. Stayed on 5mg with rough, but bearable tapering side effects. In September, 2018, life got more stressful, big move, new job, family illness. On September, PNP discontinued last 5mg prozac and started 5mg lexapro. Did ok, again, rough but bearable tapering side effects. In January, I had to switch to a new MS med and felt ok to do it. In March, 2019 starting having unbearable discontinuation side effects. Anxiety, stomach issues, dizziness, insomnia, unable to sit still, and so on. I went to the ER April 8 for high blood pressure and rapid pulse. Nothing wrong with heart. Told me to take gerd medication! I had to stop my MS med temporarily due to my condition. Very scary and will have to resume next week. My PNP increased the lexapro to 7.5 mg on April 16th. Still having bad anxiety and took .25 Ativan twice this week. My neurologist said that I should increase the lexapro and manage my anxiety symptoms more effectively, meaning take meds. I don’t know what my next action should be and I am coming to the end of my ability to cope. I would love any advice, feedback to get me through this. Thanks
  6. Danalee13

    Danalee13: Lexapro / escitalopram taper

    Hi all!! If you scroll down a bit I posted my whole story of my lex taper. Starting in December of this last year (2018). Starting on 20 mg. Was on it for 6 years. * note - I do not have clinical depression. Or ever had depression or anxiety growing up. I had been going through some anxious times during college. Only for about 1 month and I am so mad I was put on lex. 6 years later I finally had the guts to come off. (I feel fantastic coming off of it - much more clear headed and happier. ) I got to 10 mg in April. And stabilized fully for about 1 month before starting to drop again. I then started to drop again from 10 mg and it was all going great. I was okay! It was almost easier than coming from 20 mg. Or so I thought. Then I hit 5 mg and it has been VERY hard. I know I went a bit too fast. I have been on 5 mg for about 3 weeks now. For the last 10 days (on and off) I cannot kick this pure panic, anxious feeling. I do not want to go back up in the dosage. Does anybody have any insight on how long it may take me to stabilize on 5 mg and not feel pure panic any longer? I will then stay on 5 mg for a bit and decrease MUCH slower. Just looking for any and all advice on how long it took anybody that came down from 20 mg lexapro and when they got to 5 mg.. thank you so much. In this current moment I feel okay! signature: 20 mg for 6 years. Started tapering in December. Now on 5 mg for 3 weeks time waiting to feel okay...... any help is much appreciated.
  7. Hello everyone. I'll try to organize this as best as I can. There is a lot going on. I was on benzos from age 17 to 36 and on Cymbalta from age 35 to 36. Went off both together for a 2 year nightmare. Absolute pure hell. I wont get into the details and symptoms of that withdrawal in this post as it is it's own little novel. Some things improved during those 2 years and I feel I've beat the benzo part of the nightmare even still, but at age 38 I was still suffering enough that I agreed to go on Lexapro to see if I'd improve. I did improve hugely but it stopped working as well after 3 years and I was switched to Prozac. I have taken the Prozac ever since and it felt like it was failing around 4 months ago. I missed a lot of doses around 3 months ago and just tried to stop CT for just over a week around a month and a half ago. I started feeling withdrawals so I went back on and the withdrawal feeling is still getting worse. My memory and focus went first, then the inner restlessness and anxiety started and dizziness. I am also having the disconnected dream like feeling 24-7. I am so depressed and fearful all of the time. I've been taking the Prozac without missing a dose for over a month again and this is still happening to me. It's as if the combo of Prozac tolerance and coming off for the short time has started a withdrawal that even going back on can't stop. My doctor wants to take me off the Prozac after a slow taper and start me back on the Lexapro. The hope is that since it worked before and I've been off of it for almost 3 years that it could pick me back up and end this nightmare I'm back in. I am really considering just tapering the Prozac and staying off all ssris; so no going back on Lexapro in that case. I am so afraid of entering back into a nightmare like a was in coming off benzos and Cymbalta. My current state is terrible but the previous experience was truly worse; being benzos and Cymbalta together. It is really hard t say what withdrawal symptoms were coming from which pill. There were so many. I am so terrified of how I am feeling right now, but mostly for the days to come. If I come off the Prozac entirely I know my current state will worsen. I will be thrown back into a situation similar to the first nightmare. If I taper the Prozac and go back on Lexapro and it actually works, I'll still be doomed because I'll be back on another pill waiting for it to stop working again and most likely going through it all again. If I go back on the Lexapro and it doesn't work I will just aggravate my current symptoms with throwing more chemicals on my already hurting brain. The first time around withdrawal I had terrible akathisia and I am already feeling it brewing and I am still on the Prozac. I don't want to go through this again! Also from what I've been experiencing this month it seems a lot of what I assumed were due to the benzos were possibly due to the Cymbalta withdrawal as it's so similar. Also, I forgot to mention that I am on 500 mg of Depakote XR as well. I was put on this a couple of months after the Prozac as I felt a bit agitated. It helped but I got worried about my liver and quit it after 4 or five months and had a mild withdrawal from that but it passed. Just a couple of weeks ago after my current situation started I went back on the Depakote to see if it would help and it hasn't. I'll most likely be stopping it again as well. I had an account on Benzo Buddies during that ordeal and it gave me an outlet and some hope. I've set this account up here and got my story out in advance as I am leaning towards just stopping the meds and I'll be needing all of the support I can get! I'm seeing my doctor on January 3 so whatever I decide to do it will be starting then.
  8. I got off 75mg zoloft in about 2 months, had horrible withdrawal and went back on 2 months later on escetalopram. Got off escetalopram over the course of 2-3 months ish... wasnt a 10% taper but also wasn't too fast of a taper either. 6 months drug free and I experience anhedonia, and in those 6 months I had ***** up symptoms, unexplainable anxiety constant hyperarousal etc bunch of ****. Should I go back on escetalopram maybe? is it too late for me to reinstate?
  9. Hi. I have been taking Lexapro for 14 years. I was also taking Clonazepam but I finished tapering that one on January. I didn´t know I had to taper the AD first. I have been reading the posts about that in this forum and I think I made a big mistake by not doing the tapering in the right order, but I will not go back to benzos to help me with SSRI´s withdrawal. I started tapering lexapro (15 mg) on february. My original dose was 20 mg but I reduced it before reducing benzos. I had to hold the dose 2 months ago because I started having awful panic attacks. This week I restarted the tapering, but I don´t have a scale. I was just cutting the pills. I restarted the taper from what I think that were 8.5 mg and changed it to 7.5 mg. I´m sure now I´m taking 7.5 mg because I´m taking 3/4 of 1 pill. Each pill is equal to 10 mg. Now, since I reduced the dose I´ve been feeling really bad: vertigo, crying spells, more fear, a lot of depression, and other symptoms. I´d like to know if changing the dose from 8.5 to 7.5 was too much. I have benzos withdrawal, I´m feeling really bad already, but I don´t know if reducing 10 mg of Lexapro each month is OK. I also want to ask how do I switch from pills to drops. Do I have to get a 10mg solution? How many milliliters are equal to 1 mg? How many milliliters would I need to take? I´m sorry if I´m asking silly questions but I have a lot of mental confusion because of benzos withdrawal. Thanks for reading this post. P.S.: I´m sorry if my english is not very good.
  10. LINK bubble-life-without-xanax-after-14-years Hello everybody, I found this site through google search after I entered 'escitalopram withdrawal' and I liked what I found here so much that I decided to create an account. What you are saying is very close to my experience compared to what doctors are saying which could basically be summed up as: you see you can't do without anti-depressants. I was in a rush so didn't write down my whole history with anti-depressants but mosty focussed on my current problem. To sum up I have been almost continuously on anti-depressants since 2000. I could say that after I stopped taking each of these my depression would return worse than before combined with other very painful and unbearable sensations which led me to start taking anti-depressants again just to put me out of my misery. First it was Prozac, then Zoloft. My doctor just told me: anti-depressants don't make you dependant and you can stop taking them just like that! Discontinuing Prozac didn't cause any problems: I was depressed all the time basically, even while taking it. But with Zoloft I was in a great period of my life, feeling very stable and after 2 weeks following discontinuoation in 2 steps (as advised by my doctor) I was suddenly and completely out of the blue hit by the worst depression ever which led my doctor to put me on Escitalopram (at that time I would eat crocodiles just to get some relief! My brain was thrown off the cliff as somebody here said. Then I started doubting my docor and started reading about anti-depressants from the perspective of users so I learnt that such abrupt discontinuation could actually explain my depression. I realised discountinuation had to be much more gradual but didn't know about the 10 % rule ;( So after taking Escitalopram 10 mg for 2 years I cut 10 mg into half and was on that half (5mg) for 6 months doing OK. After that I cut the half of the pill to get 1/4 and was taking it for 2 weeks when the pharmacist said there was shortage of Escitalopram so I was forced to discontinue. After a few days I started experiencing extreme irritability and out of body sensations. These symptoms gradually dissipated but the general sense of emotional instability and vulnerability deepened. Around 45 days later I experienced a strong panic attack and went back to 1/4. All along I've been on Xanax which I recently brought down to 2 times 0.25 mg. I'm not from UK and in my country they don't even have 5 mg tablets on the market, let alone liquid solution ;( But i saw somebody here wrote I could make the liquid from tablets myself. Since my doctor has no clue, I would very much appreciate your opinion: what to do now? 2 months after complete discontinuation. I went back to 1/4 5 days ago and already feel a certain relief. My plan is to see if I will stabilise on this and if not, go back to half that is 5 mg and then after I stabilise try 10 % discontinuation as you advise here. Thank you very much for being around and sharing your experiences because left to doctors and pharmacists, we are worse than being alone ;(
  11. Hello, I will run through my history as quickly as possible. In my early 20s after having moved for probably the 15th to 20th time with my parents I was having a lot of stress and crying fits. I started on Prozac which I took for a year or two and then stopped taking it for a few months. Unfortunately I had anxiety after doing so and fearing a relapse (I didn't know this could be a withdrawal symptom) started on it again. I began to feel like my skin was numb and it wasn't working so I was switched to Paxil. The Paxil gave me the worst headaches if I didn't take it exactly on time and I ended up switching about a year ago to Lexapro. Lexapro made me very constipated and I felt my anxiety get far worse. The last few months I switched off the 20 mg of Lexapro to 20 mg Prozac. I've been back on just Prozac for 2 weeks. It wasn't hard during the switching process but my first period on just Prozac was extremely hard. I was crying for the last few days nearly 10 times a day and feeling very anxious. I did cave two days ago and took Xanax after panicking all day just to sleep. My goal is to not increase my Prozac dosage because I specifically went onto it so I might have an easier withdrawal. I plan to stick to this dosage for another few weeks and try to slowly withdraw. I'm having a lot of trouble even going outside or getting out of bed without panicking. I am not sure why it is like this now when Prozac was generally effective for me before.
  12. Last year I made the mistake of going cold turkey on Lexapro at 10mg. I was fine for 2 months until the insomnia started. It came suddenly and without warning with a series of electrical shocks on the side of my skull. Six months later I lost my appetite and don't feel hungry or tired. I don't know how long this will last. It lead me to being hospitalized on the psych ward and worse.I met with a woman who told me that eventually I will get my sleep back and my appetite but it will take another 4 to 6 months along with a computer program called Dynamic Neural Retraining system, vitamins, acupuncture, and CBD oil. I'm willing to try anything at this point as long I can get my sleep back. I went for a sleep study and it came back normal, but the problem was I was awake even though the brain waves showed I was asleep. How is this possible? I don't know. But I know I was awake. The same thing happens on the sleep cycle app. It shows 4 hours of sleep even though my eyes are still open. I know this because I don't wake up. I'm awake the whole time. How long this will continue? I don't know. But it's painful and excruciating.
  13. Hey everyone! Im a male dental student in my early 20s and began taking 20mg of Paxil at the age of 18 for anxiety, depression and anger issues (The typical teenager phase, slightly elevated ). Anyway, I felt better for around a year, and then the drug started pooping out on me theoughout the second year. I decided it was time to get rid of the drug, and went cold turkey (having no knowledge whatsover about the withdrawal syndrome). For the first week or so, I felt fine. However, after a while, I started getting severe anxiety,hypersensitivity, agarophobia and panic attacks. ( I dont quite remember the physical symptoms I had, but they were mild). After 2 months of enduring this phase, I started researching, and found this forum (and other sites). I then reinstated at 20mg, but ignorantly did not wait to stabilize on that dose. My nervous system was still in shock, and although my symptoms were not as severe as they were when I was completely off the drug, they were still present. I then tried to taper off the drug (10% per month) but I still couldnt do it. I repeated that process a few times but it never worked. (I now realize that it was most probably due to the fact that I never gave my nervous system enough time to stabilze following reinstatement. I tried tapering off after around a month of reinstatement). Anyway, following the failed attempts of tapering off the drug, I went to a psychiatrist. As in most cases, he told me to switch to another drug (Citaloptam at 30mg). I followed his advice and tried to stabilize on it for 2 months but felt there was no progress. I then went to another psychiatrist and he advised me to switch to Lexapro 15mg. Ive been on that dose for 4 months and am starting to see progress. My symptoms (which were severe) have noticebly decreased. I am feeling quite a lot better than before and just wanted to send you guys positive information and hope! I do have one question though. How much longer would you advise me to stick to the drug, before trying to taper off again?
  14. Hello, My English is not that good but I will try my best. I’ve been taking Escitalopram for over a month now after a very hard benzo and Pregabalin withdrawal. It seems like now my anxiety is getting better and I no longer have derealization. My doctor put me on 10mg and after 3 weeks he upped to 20mg. The first symptoms when I started Escitalopram (nausea and increased anxiety) eventually subsided. The only thing that I still experience is little depression, very low energy and sleepiness. I don’t know if this will subside too because I’m 23 years old and currently studying in Russia. I really miss my energy and motivation. Thank you very much for any information. I am very happy with this website.
  15. Hi. I have been on SSRIs for 25 years. Cipramil, Seroxat, Zoloft, Prosac, some MAO, and some I forgot. The last year I have been on Lexapro 20 mg. I Quit cold turkey 3 or 4 times for 10 to 20 years ago. It seemed to go at first but after 2-3-4-5 month I got a terrible anxiety and the doctors but me back on the medication or another one. I was given a Benzo (Oxazepam) for every upstart to coop with anxiety and one doctor put me on it every day for a half year. The last years I have taken one Oxazepam about every week. My latest Oxazepam was in September last year. 1 October I started taper Lexapro. Down to 15 mg for 6 weeks. Then 12.5 mg for 1 week. Then 10 mg for 7 week. Then 7,5 mg for 1 week. Then 5 mg for 10 weeks. Then 2,5 mg for 2 weeks. Together I tapered for 25 weeks. I am sorry now that I dident stayed on 10 mg and 5 mg much longer. Since tapering the last pill it´s now 11 and a half week. Despite the taper it´s now going bad. Lots of symtoms during the taper but I managed. And the first weeks after, I managed but now its going worse. The anxiety is worsening. I have now a breakout of Prostatisis which always make me very nervous. I hav not drinking coffee since last autum. I dont drink alkohol. Should I hold on or start me back on 2,5 or 5 mg? I don´t have a doctor right now so it would take some time to get. And I am afraid of startinganxiety and need of Benzo and so on. The hole cirkus. Sorry for my Swenglish.
  16. Frankgrimes

    Frankgrimes: Paxil withdrawal and reinstatment

    For the past 16 years, I had been on a super random combination - 10mg lexapro and 150 Wellbutrin xl in the morning, 2.5 paxil and 25 Zoloft at night. For OCD and depression. I started getting breakthrough depression and my Dr. thought the Paxil was doing more harm than good and we should get me off that and increase the Zoloft. So we did - from 2.5 paxil to 1.25 and 25 zoloft to 50 zoloft. That night I had the most intense sex and it was unreal. Like I had never felt before. Then I fell asleep and woke up early and with energy. My pupils were huge though - I was high and I felt sexually like a 16 year old. I told my doc and a day or two later we dropped the Zoloft down to 37.5. What a productive week of work and gym and dating. The next week I couldn’t tolerate the increased Zoloft so we went down to 25 zoloft and he said sure go off the Paxil. So I went from 2.5 paxil to 1.25 to 0 in 2 weeks. And 25 to 50 to 37.5 to 25 zoloft in 2 weeks. This all happened between February 18 and March 4. On I believe Wednesday the 6th I called the dr. crying and he said to take 1.25 paxil cuz I was in withdrawal. Eventually I went back to 2.5 but the hell was done. I didn’t sleep. I would wake up screaming. I paced for hours straight. Advil PM every night. I went to a urologist and he gave me Levaquin and naproxen and said I had a prostate infection. I didn’t eat the next 10 days. I started having pains. My left left foot went numb. I had pins and needles. My left hand was numb. Pushups hurt my left elbow. Could the Levaquin have caused my pains? Was it the withdrawal? I don’t know. I think it was the withdrawal because now it comes and goes. I had electric shocks. Acupuncture was brutal - so much electricity. Paxil withdrawal - I need hope!! During this, one time after sex i felt an electric volt up and down my entire left side - the worst pain I have ever felt. My left hand was numb. My left foot was numb (my left leg still hurts). I thought I was floxed from the Levaquin. It’s still possible - everything hurt - joints, trigger points. But can be from the withdrawal. At one point my new doc tried to add deplin. It got me high. And then deplin with 12.5 zoloft. 5 days later horrible crying and pain on my left side and withdrawals. I had the chills again. Like the flu. That went away when I restarted the Zoloft. Now 3 months later - I am feeling withdrawal again (or startup effects). I have switched brands of generics thinking maybe that was the issue that caused the depression and I switched from generic lexapro to brand name. Since then I’ve been sweating profusely - first night i was waking up with the sweats. Now I’ll just start sweating like crazy anywhere. I don’t sleep and I can’t sit still. I have a new doc who wants me to take l-methylfolate and lamictal. He wants me off the SSRIs. ’m scared. I can’t take this much more. My doc said I’ll get better. He said I’m not on what I should be on based on my genetics. But I feel it’s too late to change now that I went through and felt withdrawal. Surprisingly I feel pretty good every day from 6 pm - 10 pm. But then sleep happens. Whenever I think about the stress and permanent damage my leg hurts. Please give me hope!!
  17. I’ll keep the introductory story short since this is a forum about antidepressants and withdrawals. In June 2018, after being physically unhealthy and constantly stressed out for a couple years, I got depersonalization/derealization after smoking some marijuana. I kept having panic attacks because I wasn’t aware of what was happening with me, and those made the symptoms worse, inducing more panic. The downward spiral led to a visit to the doctor. I couldn’t take the nightly panic attacks anymore. He prescribed me 10mg Lexapro, thinking I just had depression and anxiety, which was bumped up to 20mg after a couple weeks. The side effects were exactly what you’d expect. I felt zoned out all the time, blunted emotions, increased appetite, gained 30 pounds, sexual dysfunction, fatigue. All of these side effects lessened after a couple months, but remained to an extent. The panic attacks stopped, the anxiety gradually calmed down, but the zoned out feeling became sort of indistinguishable from the depersonalization and derealization, which sucked and is why I really wanted to get off the medication, along with the weight gain and sexual side effects. The psychologist I see biweekly said this would be fine, and that 6-7 months on the 20mg dose was enough. I started my taper on February 1st, cutting down from 20mg to 15mg. The withdrawals were really mild. Basically I felt like I was coming down with a cold for 2 days, that feeling went away, and I didn’t feel any different than I had on 20mg. March 1st I cut down to 10mg. This time I had some electrical-like feelings in my face for a week, which went away. I started feeling a little bit more like myself. April 1st, cut down to 5mg. The electrical-like feelings spread to my arms, but went away after a couple weeks. On May 1st I stopped taking Lexapro. Here are the withdrawals I’ve gone through since stopping Lexapro: Electrical-like sensations throughout the whole body. These have almost entirely gone away now and are usually isolated to a hand or my face. Brain zaps. For some reason I only got these when moving my eyes from side to side. When they happened, my sense of hearing would momentarily change. The fan in my room would briefly sound like the ocean. Loss of appetite. When I was on Lexapro, I used to kill a mountain of food no problem. This was way higher than my appetite before Lexapro, so I guess this loss of appetite is somewhat normal, although sometimes I don’t care to eat now, even when hungry. Anger. This comes and goes, but wasn’t a big part of my personality before or while on Lexapro. I’m usually very agreeable. Most of my anger is towards the doctor who put me on this medication in the first place, in fear that the medication has put me into a deeper hole than I would be in right now had I been given an accurate diagnosis of panic attacks and depersonalization. ”Cortisol mornings”. Last week I had a few of these and they were devastating. I became obsessive about every withdrawal symptom and was convinced I will never recover from any of them. I had one this morning and it sucked. The fear is near the intensity of a panic attack, but not high enough to start one. No more insomnia. I’m a night person. Have been most of my life. Now I’m sleeping 9pm to 5am every night, with no difficulty getting to sleep. This could also be because I cut my caffeine from 4 pops to 2-3 pops daily. Caffeine just isn’t doing much for me right now, and I don’t want to ramp up my intake in fear of inducing a panic attack and getting thrown back into the worst of depersonalization, which has somewhat alleviated. Burning sensations. These typically occur in my feet very intensely, and moderately in my genitals and wrists. I suffered a bout of this last week for a few hours, and am suffering from it a little bit right now. Ear ringing. This happened quite frequently when starting the medication and would go on for around 30 minutes. Now it only lasts maybe 20 seconds at a very low intensity. This may not even be a withdrawal symptom. Sexual dysfunction. I won’t say I didn’t have genital numbness while on Lexapro. I most certainly did. But as I tapered this gradually reduced. Then after 2 weeks off of Lexapro completely, they went numb. After experiencing the burning sensations last week, I regained some feeling, and over the next couple of days I regained even more. Then a lot of feeling went away, but not totally, and some seems to have come back today as I’m experiencing the burning sensations again. I haven’t had any of the other sexual dysfunctions like erectile dysfunction, loss of libido, or delayed/no pleasure orgasms since the first few weeks of starting Lexapro. Floaters. Hate them. They’re also part of derealization. Flat emotions. This comes and goes like many of the other WD symptoms. Some days I’m pretty content, other days I feel complete dread, and sometimes I feel totally flat. Combined with depersonalization, this is a tough one. That’s pretty much it as far as my WD symptoms go. I’d have to agree with the observation here that most WD symptoms tend to come and go, but they’re less severe and don’t last as long during each wave, and my baseline seems to move towards recovery. Anyways, I know 10 months on antidepressants is baby level stuff to a lot of the members here and I just wanted to ask some questions about withdrawal because I’m kind of anxious. How long would you estimate my recovery from WD will take given the dose I took and the length of time I took it? I know there is no definitive answer, and giving me one would heighten my anxiety if that time came and went and I still had some WD symptoms, but a ballpark would be helpful. I’m 28 years of age. What can I do to speed up the process of recovering from WD symptoms? Right now I take a multivitamin daily, as well as some fish oil 2-3 times per day, and get 8 hours of sleep per night. I will admit my diet is crap, also tfw no exercise. Do any of the WD symptoms, such as burning sensations, numbness followed by feeling, leg tingling, etc indicate my nervous system is repairing itself? What can I do to help my nervous system go back to normal?
  18. Hello everyone! On February 1st of 2019 I began taking Lexapro 5mg which was prescribed to me by my doctor to help treat my anxiety which was causing chest pain. From my start date to February 5, 2019 I have experienced an abundance of horrible side effects which has taken a severe toll on me emotionally and mentally. I felt like I was going insane and losing touch with reality. I didn't know if I'll improve and I felt alone. I was not myself and was in a very scary place. I called my doctor and informed him of my well-being and he suggested that I discontinue my medication immediately. It has been around 90 hours since my last dosage and the whole process has been rather hard. Luckily I have a great support system of friends and family who are helping me get through all of this. Looking online for others who have experienced the same symptoms as me and there stories of quitting has resulted in very few results. Finding this community has made me happy knowing that I am not alone and that we are all on a journey together.
  19. hello! I've taken antidepressants in the past 5 years to help me with my severe PMS, i initially took cymbalta then it was shifted to escitalopram 10mg/tab, I took it daily but failed to taper it. I got off from it around July then weeks after I noticed myself having troubles with my memory and concentration. Before taking it my memory was still sharp and retentive, the only time that I get to experience brain fog is when I'm a week or 2 away from the day of my period but now that I stopped taking it, my memory has become terrible and it's really frustrating. Is there any way my memory could go back the way it was prior to taking this drug? hoping for your reply soon... Thanks!
  20. Cipramillion

    Cipramillion ☼ Cipralex

    Hi all! Been hanging around and read up on some of the great posts on this forum over the last week. Impressive work! My english is not that good, so pls bear with me. Here is a summary of my medical background/history. My problems startet after an acute reaction to a vaccine i took 3 months ago. A few weeks later i also found out that i had an Epstein Barr infection, most likely during the same period that i took the vaccine. My symptoms after taking the vaccine were severe with extreme depression, anxiety, fatigue, insomnia and generally feeling very ill. My doc think i might have developed chronic fatigue syndrom/ME as a result of the vaccine/infection, but at this point nothing is certain. I have no previous history of psychiatric problems or other somatic illness. I lived a happy life with my family and enjoyed my work fully at 100%. Now i cant work at all, and the situation is tough with two small kids to look after. As a result of my symptoms, which didnt seem to stabilize after 2 months, i aggreed starting treatment with Cipralex (Lexapro/escitalopram) 5mg. My doc told me to increase the dose to 10mg after 3 days, which i did not do. I noticed just after the first couple of days that i was sensitive to the medication and had lots of side effects (headache, feeling dizzy, mild depersonalization etc). Then tried to stabilize at 5mg for 3 weeks. Felt a bit better the second week, more energy and better mood, but still the side effects were bothersome. I changed to the original brand after using the generic for the first week. It helped a bit on the side effects. Also got parasthesia, a burning sensation in the body and face. Feeling very warm and uncomfortable. Sporadic panic anxiety. So after 3 weeks i decided to reduce the dose to 2.5 mg after discussing this with my doc. I told him to prescribe the liquid version (Lundbeck), which only comes in 20mg/1Ml in Europe, but still makes it more accurate for 2.5 mg. Im not sure how to use this at lower doses. He was a bit puzzled about my sensitivity to the medication. Probably need to take a CYP test to see if im a poor metabolizer. I`ve noticed that im very sensitive in general after i got sick. Cant drink anything with caffeine now. Sugar is also no good. Before i used to drink a lot of coffee. Now i cant take a sip without getting restless and almost dizzy from it. Anyway. After the dose reduction i startet to feel a lot of naseau and dizziness, and after 2 days i woke up in the middle of the night with fast heartbeat and lots of anxiety. My first thought was that this probably was withdrawal from the dose reduction, which surprised me after just taking 5 mg over 3 weeks. I felt better over the next few days, but still got lots of headaches, dizziness and not feeling very well. Depressive thoughts and feelings of hopelessness. This was also something i did experience before i took the medication, but somehow it feels a bit different now. Before i would be having crying spells regularily, not happening much now. Feels like everything is more locked up inside. I think the medication does some job at keeping my emotional reaction at bay here.I`ve also been sleeping better after starting taking the medication. Before i barely slept for 2-3 hours pr night. I still wake up a lot, also have very vivid dreams. Im able to fall asleep again after i wake up, which was more difficult before. Im not sure what to do next. I dont think my reactions to Cipralex is good for me, and i really want to stop, but im also very scared of withdrawal symptoms. Feel a bit trapped here. Should i increase the dose just a bit (3,5mg) to help with the withdrawal? Or should i just wait and see if i stabilize before eventually taper down more slowly?
  21. In lexapro withdrawal for 7 months. Having high anxiety and negative thoughts and ruminations Never had this before coming off of lexapro. I want to be me again. I got on lexapro because when I would get angry with my kids when they were small my head felt like it would blow off. Got advice from some people that told me it was a chemical imbalance and that Paxil would help so I went and asked my dr for it. Took it for 4 or 5 years and then thought maybe it was the reason I was so sleepy all the time. Dr switched me to lexapro. Was feeling horrible a lot and went to the Dr on and off through the years but nothing was ever found so I just pushed through. In 2015 I started noticing I was feeling a lot worse and all the time and it was hard to do things and then I started acting different and reacting to people differently. I was 46 and thought it was the change and it was causing me to act that way. I got off lexapro to see if that would help but it evidently sent me into withdrawal.
  22. Hello, I was wondering whether anyone had experienced a significant change in their levels of tiredness/sleepiness after tapering off their SSRI/SNRI? I cannot remember the exact sequence of events but I was started on an SSRI (escitalopram) in 2003 and in the same year diagnosed with narcolepsy (type 2). Narcolepsy type 2 lacks some of the neurological symptoms (falling attacks (cataplexy), hallucinations on waking/falling alseep) of type 1 narcolepsy and therefore is considered by some a less clear diagnosis. I have been tapering off escitalopram from the last few months, and have gone from 20mg to 0.5mg. I had the sense that my tiredness was resolving as I got down lower in dose and had the idea that perhaps my 'narcolepsy' might have been an SSRI side effect rather than true narcoelpsy. However, I am now mired in rather unpleasant withdrawal symptoms, which for me include tiredness and fatigue. I am therefore increasingly uncertain whether my hypothesis that my long-standing tiredness might be due to antidepressants I wondered whether others had experienced a significant change to their levels of tiredness after stopping antidepressants? Whether anyone had received a diagnosis of narcolepsy or perhaps chronic fatigue syndrome that resolved after stopping antidepressants? It may be that I am simply wishing upon a star for a change to come but wondered what others experience had been?
  23. Hi Everyone, I want to start off saying by what an incredibly tough journey we're all going through... and I'm sorry for all of us here... These drugs were advertised to help our mental health; when in fact it damages our brain, especially when used for long periods. I don't even know what to see, other than the fact I feel pretty hopeless after reading so many articles about brain damage that these drugs did to us (mainly SSRIs). I tried stopped this medication in my mid-20s but eventually relapsed due to the terrible withdrawal symptoms. This time around in May 2017, after reading and acknowledging what these drugs do to us, seeing my drive and passions slowly fade away since I started, I decided it was time to stop poisoning myself. Currently, I feel these effects every day: 1) cognitive problems involving memory , learning, and focus 2) apathy, and lack of anyenjoyment for life 3) deterioration of emotional wellness, and unable to handle stress I am currently 30 years old, but feel my brain has rotted immensely. I truly was a talented individual growing up, was always quick witted, fast, and excelled highly in my activities and passions. Now I feel like I have cognitive function of a mentally disabled person. I feel so hurt, and angry and hopeless about what has happened... that I allowed myself to take this poison for ~10 years, listening to doctors that didn't really have an IDEA about the damage that these drugs could pose in the long-run. We are the guinea pigs that have to suffer, and there does not seem to be an end in sight. This makes me wonder if I have to start my medication again eventually to not feel like walking death every day I wake up. I'm trying to fight this... but there is just more and more recent data about what these drugs do to us long-term and I believe it has caused me brain atrophy... Please, I would love to hear some feedback and Idk, can we start fighting these Big Pharmas or are we just a big experiment for them to profit from? Regards, Ethan (PS: If there is any other info you guys which me to provide, I can do so gladly.)
  24. I started taking Sertaline around 2012. When I started with 1/4 dose it made me really sick. I had the worst headache of my life and threw up constantly. My dr said this was fine and to keep upping my dose on the plan. Sertaline never seemed to make me feel better so after upping my dosage a few times my dr decided to try Lexapro. I've been on that 2 or 3 years even though it seemed to do nothing. After months of waiting I was able to get an appointment with a psychiatrist who was retiring the next week. She recommended I switch to another medication Mirtazpine??? Annoyed by her cluelessness and waiting 6+ months to see her and not wanting to start a 3rd drug, I decided to start tapering off my Lexapro (20mg). I did this really slowly in about 3 months. I'd reduce my dosage and then wait a few weeks until I had no more side effects. Even still, I ended up in the ER because the whole left side of my body went numb one morning and I thought I was having a stroke. But it was just a side effect of the SSRI withdrawal. A 7000$ lesson learned.... I finally completely quit Lexapro a week or so ago and I'm now experiencing extreme rage and frustration from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I didn't go to work today because I was worried I would hurt myself or someone else. I am mad at all my friends and family for no reason and can't stand being around them. I even get upset around the house and break things. I'm crying in frustration whenever I'm not sleeping. I have been taking benedryl and ativan to help calm myself so I can sleep. Otherwise I get so agitated by my mattress and blankets in bed that I can't sleep. I am feeling so much worse than I ever did before taking SSRIs. This is so frustrating. I don't see any possibility of me going into work at all this week or leaving the house. I emailed my DR with how I was feeling and she told me to start a new SSRI (you have to be kidding me) and to go see one of the counselors my insurance provides. The waiting list for counselors is months long and all they do is tell me to exercise and eat healthy (I already do). I can't take feeling like this any longer.
  25. Hello, I have long wondered about longterm effects of my antidepressants. Over the past 11 years, I’ve attempted to wean off several times but it wasn’t worth it. My primary care physician assured me that since the positive effect was almost immediate when I’d return to my regular dose, it was quite clear I had a serotonin deficiency and that I’d found my miracle drug. I trusted him! With my health. With my life! Every thing I tried before starting lexapro was futile, the immediate relief and ability to parent well, keep my life in balance etc came once on antidepressants. I think I was originally prescribed it for anxiety... after reading Kelly Brogan’s book last year I got scared. Terrified. What had I done?! And was there any hope to change at this point? Balance is crucial on a daily basis where my job is concerned.
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