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  1. Hello, I a new to the site. I have been on SSRI antidepressants for going on 18 years. I was placed on them at around the age of 26 or 27 years old when my Mom passed with cancer. I have been on 30 mg Paxil ( Paroxetine ) now for several years and have been pretty stable until it recently appears to have quit working. I started to suffer from extreme panic attacks, excessive thoughts of worry, and other physical symptoms as well. These have been coming and going for no apparent reason. I seen my doctor yesterday and she thinks that the Paxil has quit working and also feels that this medication comes with a lot of side effects and would be a good idea to get completely off of the medication. She placed me on a schedule to start tapering off of the medication and she also prescribed me Buspirone if I start to feel like I need to try something else for the anxiety. She has worked with several patients when it comes to getting off of Paroxetine and advised that it is different for everyone, but I should be able to get completely off w/in a month. Then if I haven't started taking the Buspar I can evaluate if medication is even needed. I would love to be able to get completely off of antidepressants all together and get my life back. Just wondering what kind of side effects I can expect and also wondering if there is any advise out there to help out. I do have .25 mg of Xanex on hand in event that I have a panic attack, but I seldom ever take one. I almost wonder if the Paroxetine have started to make my anxiety worsen. I would love to get completely off of the medication and get my life back and just be me. I started my 1st taper yesterday from 30 to 25 and plan to stay there for at least a week.
  2. Hello all, I just wanted to introduce myself. I was on Paroxetine for 4 years for anxiety starting in 2011. I was on 20mg dose. Cutting a long story short I stopped taking this Paroxetine drug after 4 years of use in 2015 and withdrew over a 3 month taper. It’s now been 4 years since I took my last dose and I’m still REALLY struggling. I was just wondering if anyone on here has been or is in the same sort of situation?
  3. I joined this site a couple of weeks ago. After finding that paxilprogress was no more. I was devastated. That site may have truly saved my life in some of my darkest moments. What is one to do? When essentially you've self-destructed in front of everyone you love; because of a nasty little "non-habit-forming" pill that's been shoved down your throat for decades. So here I am. Time (weeks really) has eluded me. I meant to reach out sooner. I'm just hoping I'm not reaching out too late. I feel like such a horrible failure. I know better than that at some level, know that maybe I failed but that I just have to pick up the broken pieces and keep moving forward. But I'm so I'll. I'm so weak. I'm so alone. And I feel so helpless. My life may not have been a picnic before the introduction of SSRIs. But this is one situation in which the grass was truly greener on the side of which I was already standing. Before popping that first "innocent" little pink pill, prescribed by a doctor who had seen me only once and only spent 10 minutes "getting to know me". I couldn't tell you who that doctor was, I never saw him again. Nevertheless he was the first in probably nearly a hundred who have insisted upon continuing the saga. And what better did I know? I was unhappy before the meds. I was often unstable on them. And I was clueless as to why I was saying and doing psychotic things (that I often didn't remember, or just have "snippets" of memory after the fact) and so violently ill when I decided I simply no longer wanted to take the pills. Or was even 12 hours late on a dose. (More about that and my travels down genetic testing road and CYP450 mutations later.) All that being said; Hello to all in these forums. I'm the antisocial one. The antisocial one that sometimes doesn't know when it's appropriate to shut up. Or how to appropriately ask for help. But if you've been through it (psych med-wise), I probably have too. And vice versa.
  4. JulianaMoon

    JulianaMoon

    Hi! I've been diagnosed with major depression recurrant, PTSD, severe anxiety, bi polar, borderline personality syndrome and agorophobia over the 24 years I have been seeing psychiatrists and therapists after a 2nd violent sexual assualt. I still have no idea what my proper diagnosis should be, but I think major depression, PTSD, and severe anxiety would be my personal diagnosis. I was doing great on Paxil 30 mg and Ativan 2mg for many years. Than we relocated to a different state. I was put on Effexor XR 300 mg in addition to the others. I seemed to get better and was just cruising along. We moved to TN and I was doing OK. Somehow I ended up on 150 mg of Effexor. I don't remember if the Dr dropped the dosage or I did. When I was diagnosed with hyperhomocysteinemia in 2011 after a lifetime of being tired all the time, I was told to take B12, b6 and folic acid. Nothing changed. My psychiatrist put me on Nuvigil 150 mg, than 250 mg and what a difference. I remodeled my whole house myself with YouTube as my teacher. When I turned 50, everything changed and I started gaining weight and started getting very tired again. I had not changed a thing. I weaned off Paxil. No difference. Than I got high blood pressure and was put on Lisinopril 40 mg 2x a day. And Atorvastatin. Than I found out I had GERD and Barretts Esophagus and was put on Prilosec 40 mg. Than the pounds really started packing on. The more weight I gained, the worse my depression and fatigue got. Now, I am 100 pounds overweight, and never leave the house. I decided to get off of Effexor because I felt it wasn't helping, but actually making me worse. My Dr increased my dosage from 150 mg of Effexor XR to 225 mg Effexor. I got worse. So, I decided it is time to wean myself off of the Effexor and than try and get off the Prilosec. Work on my weight and try to be free of blood pressure meds. I am high stroke risk, and I think the Prilosec is adding weight to me. Anyways. I have already gone from 225 mg of Effexor to 100mg over the course of 2-3 months. The 1st 50 mg drop was bc my Dr kept forgetting to prescribe it, and the nurse insisted I was never on that dose. My pharmacist proved them wrong, but they still quit prescribing it. I felt better after 2 months, so I have actually been weaning myself off 175 mg for 2-3 months. The first drop was 17.5 mg for 5 weeks. Than 17.5 again for 4 weeks. I added 5 mg of Paxil to help with withdrawals when I dropped the 1st 17.5 mg. So I was on 137.5 mg and than I dropped another 17.5 mg for 3 weeks. Than I increased my dosage on Paxil to 10 mg and dropped the last 17.5 mg thru one week. When I dropped doses, I did every other day for a week, every 2 days for a week, than the drop to the new dose for 2-3 weeks. That last drop was 17.5 mg every other day, than the new dose, while I went up to 10 mg Paxil. It has been awful. I take 100 mg of Effexor at 10 am and 10 mg of Paxil at 6 pm. Around 9-10 pm I started crying, getting angry, crying and feeling so much despair about the death of my mother in Nov.I start making plans to auction the house off and move home. I obsess over finding a home in MI. I feel trapped in TN. I am literally having a major panic attack. It goes from mild to extreme over the course of 4-5 days. So once a week I add a 17.5 mg of Effexor, than I'm OK. So I am wondering if these are withdrawal symptoms from Effexor? Or is it because I increased the Paxil to 10 mg? Is it because the last drop was too quick? And I'm not sure what to do. I was thinking of cutting back to 5 mg of Paxil over a few weeks bc I flip out a few hours after taking it. But maybe I should increase the Effexor 17.5 mg to 2 times a week at night, than start weaning down from that. So that is why I am here. To finish the detox with others, and find out what helps during the bad withrawal days.
  5. Hello all, I was prescribed 40 mgs of paroxetine in 1997 for depression. It worked fine for six months, I was then advised by my doctor to come off it and I tapered as per instructions (reducing by 5 mgs a week) and I was fine until I was off the drug completely for six weeks, then I crashed. I felt so bad I went back on. The next time I came off I tapered more slowly, but with the same result, so I went back on again. Fast forward to Christmas 2017 when, stupidly, I reduced from 40 mgs to 20 mgs in one go and went through terrible withdrawal symptoms, but was able to go to work even though I was obviously ill. After reading the advice on this site I up-dosed slightly to 22.5 mgs using a pill crusher, and after a couple of months the withdrawal symptoms remitted. I stayed on the 22.5 mgs for 6 weeks and then reduced by 1mg, I waited 6 more weeks before reducing again by 1 mg. I continued with this schedule until I got to 18 mgs, then everything went haywire with the very worst withdrawal symptoms I have ever experienced. I immediately up-dosed to 20 mgs, hoping this would give me some relief. After 6 weeks I was getting continually worse with increasingly suicidal/self-harming impulses. In desperation I went up to 25 mgs for two weeks and then up to 30 mgs which I have now been on for seven weeks. I've currently been off work sick for nearly three months and I can only describe my symptoms as horrific, as well as ever changing, the worst being extreme agitation and twitching of the body, along with depression, and hyper-sensitivity to any noise, as well as fear of the future. Recently the Royal College of Psychiatrists in Britain has acknowledged SSRI withdrawal as a serious problem and I am contemplating asking for a referral to see a psychiatrist in order to at least to get my experience validated as none of my regular doctors seem to believe that what I am going through is protracted withdrawal. I would be interested to know if anyone has any advice as to what I should do?
  6. Hi you all! I am Athena. So my tough journey begins in 2001, when I am diagnosed with depression. I am then prescribed Effexor, which instantly gives me huge side effects: vomiting, tremors, sweats... But I am a tough warrior and I put up with them, for a year and a half. In 2005, depression comes back, and here starts the trial-and-error of many, many AD's: Celexa, Zoloft, Effexor, desipramin, Wellbutrin, mirtazepin, Lamictal, Remeron, Abilify, nortriptylin, Cipralex, Cymbalta, and others I don't remember. They all give me side effects that are almost as bad as the disease in itself. When I would try to stop them, I would have really bad symptoms of depression, so I began to believe that that was going to be my life, which is quite depressing in itself! Last summer (2012), while being on Cymbalta, I developped really bad sleeping problems: I would sleep maximum 3 hours per night, and only with a med called Imovane. So I started to be addicted to that in order to sleep. But I was so tired that I decided to stop the Cymbalta, so my doctor prescribed me Paxil. I was already on Wellbutrin as well. Paxil made me SO sleepy, that I tried to quit in Sept. 2012, first from 20mg to 10mg, which went well, and then 2 weeks later from 10mg to 0. Outch. That's when I found out about withdrawal symptoms, which I had never heard of before for AD's. It was awful, but it might have been my revelation, because they were really PHYSICAL symptoms. I started to read a lot about the subject on the internet. I have learned a lot, and I have started to think that the depression symptoms I have been having when I tried many times to stop my meds were maybe in fact WITHDRAWAL symptoms. My doctor didn't think so. Even so, I started to taper slowly from Paxil and to take good care of myself in other natural ways. So here I am now, on 7mg Paxil, 100mg Wellbutrin and 2.5mg Imovane. My doctor keeps telling me to try and taper Paxil faster than I am now... so he can be able to prescribe me something else... a MAOI (?).I am not really interested in trying a 20th (?) medication. All of the previous ones have given me really bad side effects that have put my life on hold for 10 years... Why would this one be different? He claims that I am going to have a depression relapse if I don't take any medication... So here is my first question: do you guys think what I have experienced as "depression relapse" when I was trying to stop the AD's many times in the last 10 years, might have been in fact withdrawal symptoms? And that if I taper them a lot more gradually, I might not have those "depression symptoms" forever? And therefore, I wouldn't have to take the so-called MAOI? My second question is: which one do you think I should taper first? Paxil or Wellbutrin? I wanted to get off Paxil as fast as possible because it was making me so sleepy, but right now, it seems like the side effects from Wellbutrin are more disturbing. It has always affected my breathing, like I have to make an effort to breath completely, and it has given me some joint pain. But right now these seem to be worse, breathing is more difficult and it makes the breathing muscles become too contracted and sore. Plus I know that breathing right is important during recovery... Also, the problem with Wellbutrin is that you're not supposed to cut the pill, since the covering is doing the "slow-release" job... Well this was my story! I know it's a looong and boring story but it's mine... If anyone would have any input or advice on one or both of my questions, I would be SO grateful!! Also, please forgive my English mistakes, it is not my mother tongue. I really wish a full physical and mental health to everyone here, and I am looking forward to know and discuss with you all!! All the best. -Athena
  7. I am a newby here and this is my first post, I am 73 years old. I was prescribed Paxil 20 mg. in 2002 for anxiety disorder. Since then I have tried unsuccessfully to withdraw on three occasions. The third attempt lasted 11 months; I managed to taper to 5 mg Paxil. Then crashed. Returned to 20 mg. (I wish I had tried to hold out on the 5mg much longer, but was feeling awful physical withdrawal symptoms). Since then, my dosage was increased to 30 mg in 2011, then in 2018 to 40 mg. The last increase didn't work. I began feeling more anxious and jittery. I have decided to taper back to 30 mg, then re-evaluate and hopefully reduce to 20 mg. At this stage of my life I believe I will be on Paxil until I die. Just want to be comfortable and free of extreme anxiety and severe physical withdrawal symptoms. I am healthy, active and my only other prescription med is 25mg hydrochlorothiazide (a mild diuretic for elevated blood pressure.) I began tapering a month ago by pill cutting. From 40 mg. to 37.5 mg. Now beginning 35 mg. Have some mild physical symptoms: tinnitus, dizziness, jitteriness. Still manageable. Reading the posts here over past month has given me hope. Will try to insert withdrawal history in Signature if I can figure out how. Gracee
  8. Prestorb

    ☼ Prestorb

    Hello, I am encouraged to find this site as I feel like I am on an island alone in this effort to withdraw from SSRIs. I'm sure my husband is sympathetic, but he doesn't understand and he is probably just really tired of dealing with it. So I basically don't talk to anyone other than my therapist about it. It sucks, and yet I know the SSRIs need to go. I asked for a change in SSRI about six weeks ago, so my Pdoc recommended I taper off the 40 mg of Paxil at 10 mg per week, while starting Zoloft at 25 mg per then up to 50 mg. So now I am off the Paxil (generic) and only on the Zoloft at 25 mg - I didn't tolerate it well at all. I know I am having a lot of WD symptoms, and I am just trying to manage them as best I can, which is okay some days and not good other days. I also have an 11 year old son, although I am not working outside the home right now - which I often feel is part of the problem. But I am afraid to commit to anything until my emotions stabilize. I start crying for no reason and can't stop. Sorry to ramble, I'm not sure what else to write, just hoping to find support here. Thank you.
  9. Hey im a 23 year old female, i got on paxil at 18 years old so 5 years ago, iv been off cold turkey since febuary 20th of this year so 112 days. I tried to reisnstate 2 weeks ago i took the medication i think 4 times got an adverse reaction it caused extreme akathisia almost immediately. I stoped taking it and the akathisa is gone now. I knoq every single story is different every person is different, does anyone have a similar story to mine, of how long they were on the medication, the dose and when they started to feel better, sorry if this post is all over the place. I have severe issues concetrating, severe confusion alot and no deep emotions and i just cant think, dont feel connected. I just want atleast a full day or two that i feel like i can think and feel emotions i want to see when some of you guys broke through that wall when going cold turkey from a high dose of paxil and around 5 years being on it prior than you!!!
  10. Hi everyone, I'm wondering if anyone has suggestions for any books and/or videos on fear/phobia. I have Claire Weekes' book, Hope and Help For Your Nerves and while it has been of great help, I'm looking for something related more to dealing with fears. TY
  11. Hello, I will run through my history as quickly as possible. In my early 20s after having moved for probably the 15th to 20th time with my parents I was having a lot of stress and crying fits. I started on Prozac which I took for a year or two and then stopped taking it for a few months. Unfortunately I had anxiety after doing so and fearing a relapse (I didn't know this could be a withdrawal symptom) started on it again. I began to feel like my skin was numb and it wasn't working so I was switched to Paxil. The Paxil gave me the worst headaches if I didn't take it exactly on time and I ended up switching about a year ago to Lexapro. Lexapro made me very constipated and I felt my anxiety get far worse. The last few months I switched off the 20 mg of Lexapro to 20 mg Prozac. I've been back on just Prozac for 2 weeks. It wasn't hard during the switching process but my first period on just Prozac was extremely hard. I was crying for the last few days nearly 10 times a day and feeling very anxious. I did cave two days ago and took Xanax after panicking all day just to sleep. My goal is to not increase my Prozac dosage because I specifically went onto it so I might have an easier withdrawal. I plan to stick to this dosage for another few weeks and try to slowly withdraw. I'm having a lot of trouble even going outside or getting out of bed without panicking. I am not sure why it is like this now when Prozac was generally effective for me before.
  12. Frankgrimes

    Frankgrimes: Paxil withdrawal and reinstatment

    For the past 16 years, I had been on a super random combination - 10mg lexapro and 150 Wellbutrin xl in the morning, 2.5 paxil and 25 Zoloft at night. For OCD and depression. I started getting breakthrough depression and my Dr. thought the Paxil was doing more harm than good and we should get me off that and increase the Zoloft. So we did - from 2.5 paxil to 1.25 and 25 zoloft to 50 zoloft. That night I had the most intense sex and it was unreal. Like I had never felt before. Then I fell asleep and woke up early and with energy. My pupils were huge though - I was high and I felt sexually like a 16 year old. I told my doc and a day or two later we dropped the Zoloft down to 37.5. What a productive week of work and gym and dating. The next week I couldn’t tolerate the increased Zoloft so we went down to 25 zoloft and he said sure go off the Paxil. So I went from 2.5 paxil to 1.25 to 0 in 2 weeks. And 25 to 50 to 37.5 to 25 zoloft in 2 weeks. This all happened between February 18 and March 4. On I believe Wednesday the 6th I called the dr. crying and he said to take 1.25 paxil cuz I was in withdrawal. Eventually I went back to 2.5 but the hell was done. I didn’t sleep. I would wake up screaming. I paced for hours straight. Advil PM every night. I went to a urologist and he gave me Levaquin and naproxen and said I had a prostate infection. I didn’t eat the next 10 days. I started having pains. My left left foot went numb. I had pins and needles. My left hand was numb. Pushups hurt my left elbow. Could the Levaquin have caused my pains? Was it the withdrawal? I don’t know. I think it was the withdrawal because now it comes and goes. I had electric shocks. Acupuncture was brutal - so much electricity. Paxil withdrawal - I need hope!! During this, one time after sex i felt an electric volt up and down my entire left side - the worst pain I have ever felt. My left hand was numb. My left foot was numb (my left leg still hurts). I thought I was floxed from the Levaquin. It’s still possible - everything hurt - joints, trigger points. But can be from the withdrawal. At one point my new doc tried to add deplin. It got me high. And then deplin with 12.5 zoloft. 5 days later horrible crying and pain on my left side and withdrawals. I had the chills again. Like the flu. That went away when I restarted the Zoloft. Now 3 months later - I am feeling withdrawal again (or startup effects). I have switched brands of generics thinking maybe that was the issue that caused the depression and I switched from generic lexapro to brand name. Since then I’ve been sweating profusely - first night i was waking up with the sweats. Now I’ll just start sweating like crazy anywhere. I don’t sleep and I can’t sit still. I have a new doc who wants me to take l-methylfolate and lamictal. He wants me off the SSRIs. ’m scared. I can’t take this much more. My doc said I’ll get better. He said I’m not on what I should be on based on my genetics. But I feel it’s too late to change now that I went through and felt withdrawal. Surprisingly I feel pretty good every day from 6 pm - 10 pm. But then sleep happens. Whenever I think about the stress and permanent damage my leg hurts. Please give me hope!!
  13. Greetings, I decided to join this group, because I'm having some issues, after getting off Paxil. I was on Paxil for 18 years, because of anxiety, panic attacks and depression. Started on 20mg/day, which was reduced to 10 mg/day, due to sexual dysfunction. After 18 years, I got sick of feeling like an unemotional zombie and decided to get off of Paxil for good, starting on my 57th birthday. I started tapering off in late September 2018 and was completely off Paxil, by late February 2019. I didn't experience any severe withdrawal symptoms, except for a 3 week period of insomnia, that popped up towards the end of the taper period. However, after 3 months of being off Paxil, I'm starting to have the following problems: Fits of rage that come out of the blue, brain fog, racing thoughts, periods of self loathing and a messed up sleep schedule, that is becoming difficult to correct. Sometimes, I feel anxiety as well, especially when out in public. There are times I feel my jaw inexplicably tighten up, for no reason, while driving, or when I'm shopping at a store. There have been several incidents, where I felt a panic attack come on, but I managed to calm myself down, by focusing on my breathing, or by splashing some cold water on my face. My self loathing is probably due to the fact, that I'm ashamed at myself for becoming a moody, angry and unmotivated man, who sometimes feels sorry for himself. I have always been a hard working, pro active individual, but now, my sullen mood swings, along with my uncontrollable bouts of rage and anxiety, has turned me into a withdrawn and complacent individual. This is not fair to my wife, nor my kids, who have noticed that my moods are often unpredictable. It's hard explaining to them exactly what's going inside my head, so I keep my issues to myself. I don't direct my rage towards them, thank God, but I have directed my anger at times, towards my two dogs, who mean the world to me. The only thing that helps me, when I feel this type of anger, is by working out on my Bowflex machine, riding my bike, or cranking some music. Sometimes it helps if I play my bass guitar, or work on my Triumph Spitfire in my garage. Doing a chore, or even praying helps me, because it gets my mind off the anger and disappointment that I feel. I'm confident that I can get my sleep schedule back in track. The fact that I worked nights, loading trucks for 26 years, during my 31 year career at UPS, probably has contributed to my messed up sleep schedule. What really worries me is the rage that comes out of the blue and the difficulty in getting motivated to do things around the house. I think my sleep problems are contributing to these issues. There are days that I can get a solid 6-7 hours of sleep straight, however, most times I'm only able to get 3 hours, which forces me to take a nap later in the afternoon. Perhaps this fragmented sleep pattern is causing my anger and anxiety issues, as well as fatigue, which makes it difficult for me to get motivated to do things during the day. I'm not interested in seeing a psychiatrist, because there's no way I want to go back on an antidepressant. It's nice to have my emotions finally back and I realized that there would be a price to pay to get them back. So, are my issues caused by my brain chemistry being altered by taking Paxil for 18 years? Am I suffering from low levels of both Serotonin and Dopamine? Could it be that my Cortisol level is out of whack too? Will my symptoms slowly fade over time? Are there any natural supplements, besides the L-Tyrosine that I'm taking, that can help me out? Thanks in advance for any advice coming my way. Your help is greatly appreciated!
  14. Washy

    Washy: Big mess

    Hello. Brief history, 20 years of paxil/seroxat use, 16 months ago i decided with my doctor i wanted to reduce and stop this medication. With his direction of reduction i went down from 30mg to 10mg in 5 months. Brief headaches was experienced during going down. Decided to hold at month 5 as some anxiety issues started. I was advised by my doctor to give my body a rest and hold on a therapeutic dose of 10mg for some time. Really symptoms held for a further 4 months, and was adout to start to reduce further when different symptoms appeared. Since then to today i've been in a slow spiral of worsening symptoms. Since due to research i know he took me off too fast and I'm now suffering for that. I've lost my job as my condition is deteriorating slowly. My doctor advised me to go back on my full dose about 3 months ago, i had my apprehension about his method as he led me to this condition in the first place. So i remained as i am. Maybe now i wish i had listen to him as i am in a pretty rough state. . Do i list my symptoms? I now do not know where to turn or what to do. Loosing hope personally. If anyone here can give me some advise please.
  15. I'm 45 years old. I have been on psychiatric drugs since I was 25. For years, 17, I was on Paxil 20mg and tegretol 200mg. I believed I tripped off my first depression after using ecstasy, which I think altered my brain's serotonin functioning. Four years ago I went to my gynecologist seeking help for worsening pms, as I believed perimenopause was coming into play. I failed to consult with my psychiatrist and trusted her. After a too-quick taper off of Paxil and onto Lexapro things just completely deteriorated. After 6 months I was a wreck, did another, even shorter, taper off of Lexapro back onto Paxil. But I was sunk...I think my central nervous system was wrecked. The ensuing year of onto and off of a variety of drugs was nothing short of a nightmare. Sparing all the details, I landed on the following drugs: Remeron 15mg Paxil 20mg Lamictal 125mg Pristiq 100mg Lithium 600mg Klonopin .5mg Trazodone 50mg It's criminal. A John's Hopkins psychiatrist specializing in women's hormone related mood issues said my gynecologist's cavalier actions verged on malpractice. A recent, and current, rash believe to be pityriasis rosea prompted my current psychiatrist to insist I stop Lamictal cold turkey. The dermatologist diagnosed it. He, without seeing the rash himself, is insistent. In light of what I feel is a damaged central nervous system I have decided to trust my dermatologist. That said, this situation has prompted me to consider the idea of eliminating the Lamictal. It's a start. I also believe Lamictal in some way tinkers with estrogen, something I'd like to avoid. It has been a hellish journey. I do not trust the psychiatric industry. I believe that how my case has been handled, so carelessly and without regard to actual true health, is shameful. I never, ever thought I'd be on multiple drugs like this. I am a high functioning, intelligent woman with a constitution sensitive to endocrine changes. I have been terrified of even considering touching any of this. While in the back of my mind wondering....what will happen to me after years of being on so many drugs? For the record, I have never been manic, ever. Lithium does function for me as an antidepressant. I understand that I'm somewhere on the spectrum, and because of long periods of happiness and wellbeing interrupted by 3 episodes of major depression, each with clear origins, I have been labeled bipolar2. I don't care much for labels. All I know is I'm on a serious amount of drugs. And I'm finally willing to find the courage to wrap up this bizarre ride. Lamictal first. Thanks for reading. Any encouragement or feedback gladly welcomed. Hope
  16. mwiley

    I had no idea!

    I had no idea what I was about to unravel when I thought I could go Cold Turkey and discontinue taking my Paxil on my own after 16 years. I am heartbroken, scared, and feel totally betrayed by the Pharmaceutical Companies. I have now started a long journey to recovery that I had no idea was coming. I am bound and determined to get off this drug. This site and my will power will now be my tools to live drug free! I will now forever be a testament to the power these drugs truly have over us!
  17. I recently got pregnant and went from 10mg paxil to 5mg in one week and then completely stopped. I then had a miscarriage (about 2 months ago) and am having severe withdrawal symptoms. Would it be safe to go back on a low dose of paxil and try to taper off properly, or is it too late? I am miserable! Thanks in advance. Update as of March 29, 2017: Link to post below
  18. Hi, I will try to keep it brief, but I am in desperate need of advice. I am a 34YO Male, my 1st bout of anxiety happened 10 years ago when I experienced a very stressful time in my life. I had my 1st child, started MBA school, and opened my own business all within a 3 month span. Had a panic attack one night, and what followed was a year of high general anxiety, with some intrusive OCDish thoughts sprinkled in. After a year I decided I would give meds a try. Tried Buspar...did nothing except make me dizzy. Tried Zoloft, and this was the magic bullet for me. Felt my anxiety lesson (after a brief increase) after about 3-4 weeks and after a few months I was back to myself. During this time I would have blips (one to two week periods when my anxiety would resurface, usually requiring a dose tweak and then would go back to normal. These would usually happen when I was eating bad, not exercising ect). At the start of my Zoloft experience I at one point got up to 150mgs, but in the last 4-5 years was on the minimum dose of 50mgs after I got generally healthier and added a multivitamin and fish oil supplement. Because of these blips, and the fact I was afraid to go back to the year of anxiety, I stayed on the Zoloft probably longer than I should have. It was 8 years later (October 2016) when I finally said, "heck I don't need these anymore". My prescription ran out and I just decided not to refill it. I went through most of the withdrawl symptoms, some brain-zaps, lots of light-headedness and dizziness, ect. That went away after about 3 weeks and for 3 months I felt great, totally off meds and totally back to normal. At the end of January this year, I started to have another "blip." I wasn't eating healthy and not exercising as much and decided I would be "proactive" and resume the Zoloft at my previous dose of 50mgs to nip it in the bud. This sent my anxiety through the roof but thought my body would adjust so I continued taking them. I was so scared of the increased anxiety though I didn't give it a fair shot and kept increasing and decreasing the dosage from 25 to 50mgs every week or so. Finally got into a p-doc and he gave me Lexapro, 5mgs for the 1st week and 10mgs after that...long story short, it did the same thing as the Zoloft and wasn't much better after 7 weeks. At this point I figured, "wow I wasn't this bad before, I will just go off of these!" Well unfortunately my month of no meds did not return me to my January self, in fact it was probably worse than on the meds! So then the doctor gave me pregabalin, which helped a little, but is crazy expensive and not covered by insurance. So on June 1st I started Paxil, 10 mgs for the 1st week and 20mgs after that, hoping the pregabalin can help me to get on them. I really want to be off meds, but don't think I am mentally able to at this point. It seems quitting the Zoloft cold turkey, then reinstating, I am much more sensitive to these drugs, does that make any sense? So I am hopeful I can eventually give a med (Paxil) enough time that my body will desensitize to it, and I can be on it for a bit to get stable again, then get off. Anybody experienced anything like this? Will my body desensitize? I am so desperate to feel normal again, I am a father of 3 (10YO Boy, 7YO Boy, 3YO Girl), a husband to an amazing wife, and they need their Dad and Husband back! What should I do? Give Paxil the time to desensitize, then get off after a few months? Is the fish-oil supplement that I still take that helped me reduce my dose of Zoloft causing me to be more sensitive? Quit everything and see what happens? Thanks in advance for reading my story and giving any advice or encouragement.
  19. MikeysMum

    MikeysMum: Paxil

    Topic title: Need encouragement Hi Everyone. I'm sorry the info in my signature isn't great. I had no knowledge of correct way to taper and just went on drs advice. As you can see I've been of Paxil since late December 2018 apart from 2 disastrous reinstatements. First one (on drs advice) put me in hospital after collapse with Tachycardia and I ended up with broken ankle. Second reinstatement (drs advice )made me sicker so I stopped. I've been really sick with extreme nausea, diarrhoea and neuro-emotions. No medical professional will accept its withdrawal. Lots of medical tests. Nothing else showing up except for low sodium and low iron. Had a few windows early on but mostly waves. Anyway, I've just begun to experience some relief from physical symptoms. I have some appetite and bowel is a bit more normal. The thing I'm really struggling with is the Despair I'm feeling. I've felt pretty low in the past even on Paxil but this sense of hopelessness is awful. I have no energy at all and the bleakness is frightening. I got some great responses in my intro topic and I've read through them all and more on this site. I'm hoping that the fact that some of my physical symptoms are easing means I might get more windows. I've got a 21 yr old daughter with a disability who really needs me to be emotionally and physically available which has been incredibly difficult for both of us. I've got a wonderful husband but he can only do so much. I guess I'm just looking for encouragement and tips to get through this despair. Thanks for listening. I know I've screwed up the tapering and reinstatements but honestly went in drs advice. I'm on nothing now and would be terrified to try anything.
  20. Something I have just started to experience with withdrawal and It hurts so bad! I am 56 year old female. It has been a month of trying to withdraw from 20 mg to 15 mg of Paxil Usually I do two days 20 mg and then three days 15 mg Thought I was doing good then the Temple pain started. Can’t explain but sounds like an inflammation of the Arteries
  21. Hey everyone, I’m hopeful this site can help me figure out what to do or how to even cope. I’m a 37 year old, successful salesman, an extrovert, generally positive individual. I’ve always had anxiety as a big part of my life and also struggle with just excessive worrying. I was out on Paxil while in college around the year 2000. I was having major anxiety and depression with dealing with being gay and the 40mg of Paxil seemed to do the trick. Long story short, 17 years have passed and i had a bit of a rough year dating this year, and a doc decided to put me on trintellix because it was so much safer and better for you. He also thought it would be very easy to switch from Paxil. This was in August of this year. Id always wanted to get off of Paxil, and had only been taking 10 milligrams since around 2012. I accepted this change as an opportunity to get off the drug. I thought it worked. I noticed as my time with trintellix went on, i was incredibly tired, fatigued, and the worrying went on and on. Eventually suicidal thoughts came on and i went from 19mg trintellix, to 5mg trintellix, to off everything December first. I am not sure if i was having Paxil withdrawal or if the trintellix was affecting me. Anyways, it’s now the day after Christmas, 26 days after the last dose of trintellix, and i am riddled with anxiety. I’m not having panic attacks like I’m used to, but just a general anxiety and feeling of dread. I’m very concerned this is the new me. Could it still be the Paxil? I have had days as well where i feel really great about things as well since December first. It’s like I’m either really happy and full of optimism or full of dread and hipelessness with anxiety. I have so so much to be thankful for. I want to feel good again. Does anyone have any insight? I don’t know what else to do. The psychiatrist wants to put me on 10mg of Prozac because he feels i should be better by now. I don’t want to get back on SSRIs if i don’t have to. Sincerely, Feeling alone in Dallas
  22. I took paxil 12.5 mg for 10 months due to problem of panic attack in closed spaces. then i slowly withdrawn from it in 1 month. I am not taking any medication for 7 months except due to some depressive events i took paxil 12.5 mg for 10-15 days 2 months back. Now i have heart palpitations and stomach cramps. I had headache but now that has gone away in one week since i started eating walnuts. I hope slowly my other physical symptoms will also go away. The only thing which makes me sad is anxiety sometimes due to emotions and also the fear of relapse. Please tell when will i become emotionally stable. I have heard that after 3 months situation starts improving. Is it true?
  23. Hi Everyone! I can't even express in words how glad I am I found this forum! I've been on 25mg CR of Paxil for 11 years now. Started to taper off at the end of last summer as my life is much more stable now and I was tired of feeling numb/like a zombie/tired ALL THE TIME. The difference I've felt since being on such a smaller dose now is day and night. I have energy and am not falling asleep during the day anymore. My anxiety has also been incredibly manageable and I haven't struggled too much with it. I like so many have experienced that my doctor has no idea what she's talking about. She advised first to switch from the 25mg CR version to 12.5mg CR version, which I did, and the first couple weeks were rough. It got better, but then had another relapse of symptoms 6 weeks in. I ended up soldiering through as it was manageable and stayed on the 12.5 through the end of the year. At the start of this year I began to taper off again, first to the non-CR version, then down 2.5mg/week per the advice of my doctor. I experienced no withdrawal symptoms until I hit 3.75 (they were still very mild) then some more intense but still manageable at 2.5mg. The big mistake I made was going down to 1.25 when I wasn't feeling great, because yesterday was a day from hell. I could hardly get through the day, it was so awful. So, after reading the advice here I went back up to 2.5 last night and am feeling much better today. Just mild symptoms (brain zaps mostly, and feeling like I'm going to cry at any point) which are tolerable and am hoping they'll subside soon. I am thankful to have read about the 10% taper off plan because my doctor literally told me I was at such a small amount now that I should be fine to hop off (HA!). Also really thankful to read that I only have to go back up to a little bit to feel okay again. I was worried I would have to reinstate at almost the full dose. I've been managing with a quicker taper due to meditation (headspace app), essential oil blends, running, long walks, pilates and weekly CB therapy (as well as lots of face time with Jesus). I also took a B Complex vitamin for the first time yesterday, which I feel helped too. Was super discouraged yesterday at my set back but am optimistic this new 10% taper plan will have me off in a few months. I am thankful to have found a place where so many are in similar spots to me as they are fairly rare to find in my day to day life. This isn't a race! Tapering off is TOUGH - let's do this together
  24. Twenty years ago this fall, I started taking paxil. I was also prescribed clonazapam, and used that for a while: years. But paxil has been my darling. There every day for me in its pink pantsuit, waiting with its special odor and taste "the pink pill" after 20years, is now "the red pill". Much more awake, married (stable), two kids, I don't want to mess a good thing up (stable). And yet (stable), I would like to know of my dear brain's inherent capacity (stable) and its elasticity. I wonder (stable) of who I am now. I am no longer the 25 year old "kid" who was looking for a way to cope with the life she had created. I've learned to more than cope. I've learned to thrive. Is paxil (stable) part of that? If we part ways (stable), will I be me?
  25. Hello everyone, first of all, I wanna thank everyone in this forum for giving me hope and for making me feel less alone. After being AD free for exactly 3 weeks today, I decided to create my own profile so I could tell my story and update you on my journey towards recovery. Let's start with the basics: female, mid-twenties, working and studying at the same time. I've suffered from anxiety and panic issues my whole life, so I guess it wasn't a surprise when I finally developed OCD when I was a teenager (health related obsessions are my the most persisting obsessions, so I guess you could say I suffer from hypochondria as well). Specialists have 'officially' diagnosed me with OCD, anxiety disorder (not specified which one apart from OCD) and, as of late, depression (but we'll get to that in a minute). July 2015 I was prescribed Seroxat 20 mg (Paxil) because I was severely impaired due to my anxiety disorder and OCD. It seemed to work like magic! Life was so much better for a year or so: my obsessions returned to being just thoughts that I could easily ignore, I hung out with friends and family a lot more, I could get outside of my house without feeling panicky, my work life was SO much better, I didn't feel as anxious... I didn't suffer from any major side effects, apart from weight gain. My psychiatrist never warned me that coming off the meds would be so hard. He never mentioned withdrawal, or discontinuation syndrome. I expressed him my concerns about being on the drug for a long time (my common sense told me you aren't supposed to be on this medication for a long period of time). He asked me if I was having any major side effects from taking it, I said no, he said: "then why the hurry? you will be able to come off of it once you're feeling better." *sigh* So I took it for 3 years... I went to him one other time to tell him that, whenever I missed my dose for one day, I'd get really weird head sensations that I'd never experienced before (now I know it's the famous BRAIN ZAPS!), alongside nausea. He said that this was a normal thing that happens when you stop taking the medication, but he said I was probably very sensitive to Seroxat and that's why it happened after only one day of not taking it. Since my symptoms went away once I took my normal dose again, I never thought much of it. So, fast forward to February 2018: I was sick and tired of taking meds. Yes, I wasn't feeling especially bad while being on them, but I just had the feeling that I'd been taking them for long enough and I genuinely thought it wouldn't make a difference on my mental health to stop taking them, since I felt stable (albeit a bit anxious, that's why i thought meds weren't doing anything anymore). I wasn't living in the same country anymore, so seeing my psychiatrist wasn't possible. Now, this is the part where I understand I messed up: I started tapering, but I did it as I pleased, basically. I know now that this was EXTREMELY irresponsible. I wish I had informed myself better, and I also wish my doctor hadn't given me the impression that SSRI's are not difficult to get off. I didn't follow a schedule, I just tried listening to my body: I went from taking 20mg each day, to taking 20 mg one day, 10 mg the next, then 20 mg. the next (I don't know if I'm explaining myself: for example; Monday 20 mg, Tuesday 10 mg, Wed. 20 mg, Thursday, 10 mg... and so on). Once I was done doing it (I did indeed feel a bit more anxious and suffered from brain zaps and nausea for a while, but it went away), I reduced the meds again and took 20 mg. every other day. I followed this last routine for at least 3/4 months and, even though I felt worse, it was still manageable. I suffered from nausea, derealization and brain zaps for a while, but they eventually went away. July 2018 (5/6 months after 'tapering') I decided to take it to the next level: I'd take 10 mg. every day. After 2 weeks of following that routine, I took 10 mg. every other day. Now, that was the point when withdrawal showed its ugly head: derealization, panic attacks, anxiety for no reason, obsessions, brain zaps, nausea and nightmares begun. This was end july-beginning of august. I went back on them (10 mg. a day), and symptoms definitely alleviated. A month later, I tried again - I tried stopping taking them completely at a point in my life where I had a lot of changes coming up (moving countries, change in job, last year of uni, quitting birth control meds...), and that's when hell broke loose. I now feel so bad about it, I wish I had made things differently I don't understand how I could act so irresponsibly. What happened was, I suffered a major OCD relapse, anxiety was present 24/7. I tried going on Seroxat again, 20 mg. for a month, following my psychiatrists orders (I was back in my country, so I contacted him immediately). It didn't seem to work (although my nightmares stopped). This relapse was so bad I started suffering from really bad depression. My psychiatrist told me to be patient. He said Seroxat would start working at some point. After a month of taking Seroxat and seeing no improvement, my new therapist suggested I started treatment with this other psychiatrist. I was so desperate, I went to see him. After hearing my whole story, this new psych. told me that Seroxat wasn't working for me anymore. He prescribed Sertraline/Zoloft (100 mg.). I followed his instructions, and so I went from 20 mg. of Seroxat daily, to 10 mg. daily for a week, then stopping it completely the next. I started Zoloft 50 mg. while tapering off Seroxat. After one week, I went from 50 mg. Zoloft to 100. IT WAS HELL: agitation, panic attacks (yes, even more panic attacks!), vivid dreams (I had never experienced something like that before, EVER), suicidal ideation (sorry)... those were the most prominent symptoms. I waited a month to see if it improved: it never did, even though I tried everything - changing the time I took the meds, taking a lower dose (all of this by doctor's orders). He finally told me that Zoloft wasn't working for me either, and told me to taper off of it (quickly...). He then said to wait for a week without any meds to see how I was feeling. After I week I'd start taking Fluvoxamine / Luvox (yet another med!). This was 4 weeks ago. 3 weeks ago I completely went off the meds, as instructed, and never dared to try fluvoxamine. I've already gone through enough. I feel so upset because no doctor actually thinks this is real. Yes, he told me AD discontinuation happens, and yes, he said Paxil is one of the harder drugs to quit, but he said the discontinuation syndrome would only last for 3 or 4 days! How delusional can they be? I told my doctor about this, expressed him my concerns about still being in withdrawal and he said that I should try going back to Seroxat, 5 mg. I still haven't followed his advice. What do you think I should do? I'm already 3 weeks in recovery from AD... So, how do I feel now? Here's a list of my main symptoms: When I stopped taking Seroxat and I begun taking Sertraline, daily vivid dreams started. My doctor thought it was a side effect of taking Zoloft, but I believe it's a side effect from Seroxat withdrawal, since I already had a taste of them when I tried tapering off of Seroxat a few months prior to this. Also, I did cross taper, so I started taking Sertraline when I was weaning myself off Seroxat. I still suffer from them almost every day. I wake up with an emotional hungover that lasts for hours. I sometimes hear loud sounds that aren't really there while drifting off to sleep or when I wake up. Sounds like bangs, alarm clocks... Doctor says it's stress, I say it's withdrawal. Nocturnal panic attacks / panic in dreams: I wake up with my heart racing and a feeling of impending doom (I take a small dose of a benzodiazepine most nights to help me sleep at least a little. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I had no other choice, believe me.) This had never happened to me before all of this withdrawal process. Fewer hours of sleep. It's not drastic, but I do sleep fewer hours. 6 hours a day more or less. Brain zaps. These were most intense during the first week and a half of quitting Sertraline. I still have them, but they aren't as intense and the frequency has also decreased A LOT (like 70%). Feeling dizzy. This symptom is the one that bothers me the least. It happens rarely and the intensity is low. It started happening to me on week 2. Hyperarousal. This, alongside vivid dreaming, is the worst symptom for me. This manifests itself in the form of agitation, suddenly feeling panicky, feeling the adrenaline inside my body all of a sudden. Increased obsessions. This is basically my OCD coming back, full force. Irritability. I become aggresive for absolutely NO reason! I don't act on those feelings, of course, but I sometimes scream at people or give them a bad attitude because of stupid reasons. I immediately apologize like a minute later, because I know I overreacted. Mood swings - including crying spells, intense feelings of depression and hopelessness. I am experiencing windows and waves at this point, to be honest. I didn't think it was really a thing until I started experiencing it for myself. This gives me hope... What am I doing to help myself? I'm starting meditation. I'm also starting EFT tapping. I'm trying to slowly eat healthier. I'm moving my body for at least 45 min. a day (gentle exercising, such as swimming slowly or walking). I've tried acupuncture... I'm unsure of its efficacy. Thank you so much for reading my story. I'm so grateful for this site. If you have any questions, I'm here for you
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